Fellatio Fluency

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jaejoo is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super soft, ultra quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20% off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r a so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on today's show. I'm talking about why talking during sex is just as important as talking about sex. And I'm taking your calls. Topics include. So you want to give your husband oral, but you can't get past the dreaded lockjaw. What do you do in a dream world? Your wife is super open about masturbation and fantasies. So how do you make this a reality? And your partner is so in her head, she just can't reach climax. What do you do to help all this and more? Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.

I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com because it's awesome. Sign up for our mailing list and all the blogs we have there to help connect you more to the Sex with Emily world. We love when you subscribe to the podcast. Wherever you listen and comment, it really helps us and helps you as well so we can make more episodes and have more shows and more things to help you have a better life. You can also find me on SiriusXM radio Monday through Friday, 5 to 7pm Pacific on Starz channel 109. You get a free 30 day trial at sexwithemily.com sxm and as always, you should be following us on all social media exwithemily. And you know it is Masturbation month. Happy Masturbation month. We love this month. So it's gonna be awesome and we're gonna have lots of prizes and things we're giving away to have. You may save a better month. So check us out on all the places. Hope you enjoy the show. Here's the deal. It's a study. It's an alert. I mean, to me, I know this and I've talked about this, but I always think sometimes if we can back things by science, then maybe you'll be like, oh, makes so much sense. Talking during sex can lead to a more satisfying sex life, according to science.

My top communication advice for you is when you want to actually talk to your partner about something sexual about your sex life, that is still best to do it outside the bedroom. I think I know, but the actual experience during sex, like and we're talking communicating during sex verbally and non verbally. In fact, there's a lot of non verbal stuff during sex that is also helpful.

So the study was published that said that people who communicate in bed, some however they do it, are more satisfied sexually in their relationship.

So to clarify, you know, you talk with our body, our nonverbal cues. In fact, they say that most of what we say is nonverbal. So moving your hand, like if you're in bed with someone, you just want to move their hand where you know, you're like, oh, you know what, I actually think it'd be much better if they actually hit my clitoris and they moved it over. Like maybe they think that my pubic mound is my clitoris or the side of my leg and you can move their hand or moaning, moaning when your partner does something that you like or you know, moving your head when something's uncomfortable or like kind of pulling away. Those are all the communications. Or also when you're wondering if Your partner's having an orgasm, there's always a big confusion around that. Is she faking? Is he not faking? Well, typically, like, your breath quickens, your cheeks flush, you know, your heart starts to race. There are some signs a little bit more can be. You know, you gotta really pay attention to it. But there are so many cues. So the use of verbal, non verbal communication.

Is important during sex. Like, it's also about your communication style. So I think that what happens now is either people say nothing during sex, which I think is because if you're feeling something and you're feeling good, I think moan. Let your partner know that you moan. But then I think there's also the porn generation, people who the only sex they ever saw was porn. And then they make noises that are not commensurate with what's actually happening in the moment. Or they're not even commensurate with who they are. They're kind of like, this is how this porn star was making a noise. Or this is how I think I should. And so they're not like genuine.

Moans from their own. They're like an act. But I think when we all can find our voice in the bedroom, like how you speak and how you can convey your partner about what you're into. And I think the reason why people aren't talking during sex is because. Because we think it's gonna be embarrassing and it's gonna ruin the mood. I think we're all so afraid to do anything during sex because we don't wanna ruin the mood. But I guarantee you, you're not even in the mood if you're already thinking something else needs to happen. Mm. So just by thinking that means that you're out of the mood. So you might as well say something during sex in the sense of, like, that feels really good, or moaning affirmations or moving their hand and saying, you know, let's. Let's slow down for a minute. Since sex is so taboo and weird to us, we just. Some people become mute during sex. They don't make any noise. I feel like sometimes men are a little bit quieter, maybe just when they orgasm. But like, dude, no, we want. We want to communicate. I know. We want you to communicate throughout the whole experience. Moaning or dirty talk. I mean, doesn't have to be dirty talk. Like, you just be like, your ass feels so good. This feels so good. I think that we just sometimes don't say things because we don't really know what. What to say or it's gonna sound. We're Embarrassed. We think it's gonna feel we're gonna be embarrassed. And we think our partners not gonna respond. Like, do you ever think, like, I think you think you moan or you do something weird, and then maybe you look at your partner's face, and maybe they make a weird face, but has nothing to do with you. And then you think, I could never talk again, or something. Like, we're all so concerned. But once you get to that point sexually where you just don't think, you're just in your body and you can't help but make noise is so freeing during sex and actually enhances orgasm for women.

And for men, if someone's, like, overtly quiet, is there a way they can kind of. Cause maybe it's not natural to them to make some noise. Is there a way to kind of make it feel more. Not forced? I think.

I think the best thing is to practice, like, maybe during masturbation, make some noise. Like, be like, okay, I never make any noise when I'm in the bedroom. Why is that now? I only brought that up tonight. I was driving, I was listening to the show, and she said something about making noise. I never do. And then just do it. And then you'll realize that, like, it's just part of a natural part of the experience. And in fact, I believe that when you make more noise and you breathe more during sex, you actually enhance. It can enhance your orgasms and also signals to your partner that you're enjoying it. It's all about letting your partner know, because I think otherwise, we're, like, blind. And the people don't say anything. Like, I've been with guys. I remember this one guy.

He was like. I didn't even know if he had an orgasm. If he was enjoying himself, is he was still alive, like, right after. Like, I would come, thank God, and then he'd be like.

Like, that. That was a noise. It was like. It was like.

And I'm like, excuse me, did you just. And that that was how you orgasm?

I'd be like, are you clearing your throat?

Yeah, like, what? Like, did you. And like, how did. And I knew he was like. His eyes were closed. I'm like, dude, like, you can. It's okay, let's speak up. I mean, this is before I knew how to communicate effectively in the bedroom. I probably just wasn't annoyed by it or, like, just thought, like, why are you not talking? What is your problem? I think I actually said something new once. I was like, I love to hear you. Like, you're really quiet. And I probably said it wrong. Like, I probably did what everyone does, what you do. I probably said you never make noise. And I probably, like freaked him out. It was like 15 years. He's like, oh, man, what's wrong with me? Is that weird? But I think if it's more like. I think it'd be just like everything you talk about sexually. Like, I think it'd be so hot to hear you moan. I think that would be so sexy. You know, I love hearing your voice, you know? And I think the more you do it, then you're gonna realize that, like, if you just try it out, you're gonna realize that you and your partner are gonna get into a groove. I mean, I wanna know for you guys, do you make noise? How do you feel about noise during sex? Noise?

I think that a time where it is slightly appropriate to be quiet is say you are more so, like more or less, like more loud in the bedroom with your partner. But it's. You're in a position where you can't make noise. I think that that could be really hot.

Like your hands over your mouth or something.

Yeah, something like that. Or like if you're, you know, going somewhere with like family or something like that on a trip and you're like, you know, in your own. In your bedroom. Yeah, I mean, I think, I think you have kids. Yeah, yeah, something like that.

You're like, you can't make noise because he has a bandana over your mout.

That too.

That could be like. That's hot.

I think there's something to making some. But like, even when you're. You have to be quiet. There's still noises that can be made.

Or non verbal. Non verbal? Yeah. Yeah, like. Like, kind of like just like. Like you could just sort of show them how you like things or take. Grab their hands and show them how great it is. Or grab their. Like if you can't make noise and make more nonverbal communication, letting them know that it's great. And I think that could be like grabbing or touching or showing them where you want to be touched. But I get it. Like you have kids or you're staying at someone's home. Yeah, you got to be perhaps a little more. That's why I never stay with anybody ever. I'm just loud. Actually, I think I've gotten louder too. And I have to say, it comes with confidence. It comes with confidence because I literally don't care. I mean, I don't care what my partner thinks. I don't want to be thinking about it. I'm like, I'm truly in my body when I'm having sex and it's loud. Sometimes I'm there and I'm not saying the whole time. You're, like, yelling and screaming. It's just.

It's just something that I feel like if there's a reason why you're not. Let's just say that if there's like a reason where you're like, I've held back or. Yeah, people have said that to me. If you're, like, thinking right now, you're listening, going, yeah, yeah. Know what partner said to me once? Why don't you? Or I am holding back. I think it's interesting to look at and say, oh, I wonder if I really. Because there's so much to the act of sex that is all your senses are being engaged. So to not. It almost seems like you're. You're holding back if you're not actually vocalizing.

I hate when I like. I mean, this is just like a really. I'm very passionate about this subject because I really just don't like having quiet sex.

In any way. She's like, all. Because I am very verbal, so. And I've been with partners the last couple, where I say stuff and they, like, don't really say anything back or they don't. They're so focused, and I can see in their face that they're really focused that they're like, what? And I'm like, well, I'm not gonna repeat myself. That's unsafe.

Like, you're so hot or something. And he's like, what?

Oh, this feels so good. Like your feels so good. Like, things like that, you know? And it's like, you're not gonna do anything to respond to that. So now I'm like, oh, yeah, just. Well, fuck me. Right. Well, I guess you're already doing that, but, you know.

Right, Right. Exactly. So they do nothing. They go, what? You've had a guy go, what, babe? Like, he was so. During sex, my ex. He was like, what did you say?

All the time?

Was your eyes closed?

I was like, am I smoking? No, he doesn't smoke.

He was just, what, babe? Like, was he in another. Was his eyes closed? Was he fan. Was he somewhere else?

No, I think he was just focused. Even when he's like, down on me? No, he'd be going down on me, and I'd be like, saying, like, oh, that feels like he'd be like, stop. And he'd be like, what? And I'm like, no, keep going. If just keep.

Multitasking is hard for people.

That's. I guess. Well, it's. My job is to multitask.

I know. Thank God you're good at it. Cause there's a lot going on here. Throw a lot of balls around.

Get it.

I think too, it helps because when you are being verbal in some way, you have to use your breath.

Yes, exactly. And so you guys remember that a lot of us hold our breath during sex as well. And for a lot of women and men, you guys, holding your breath at any point is not great, is not a good idea. And that's what causes a lot of stress, is a lot of us are, as you take a breath, are shallow breathers. We don't learn to actually breathe deep into our bellies. Like, you know, diaphragm breathing, breathing. Like three deep breaths in, all the way down. And like your inhale and your exhale, like three deep in, three deep out. Like, that's the kind of breath, when you do that during sex, like, that helps to enhance your pleasure, move your orgasm through your body. And so I think breathing and moaning and all those things are kind of part of the entire sexual experience, which is why people are saying, like, oh, yeah, it's like all of our senses were engaged and we're really connected. And that's how they report having more satisfying sex. It just makes sense.

And so they also found. So here's the thing about.

Another reason why women make noise. Oh, fake. Let me say this. The researchers found that many of the women did make noise, but not necessarily while they were having an orgasm. So 66% of women do say they moan to speed up their partner's climax.

I think it helps speed up my own climax.

Yeah, that's the thing. I agree. I think that this is a miss. I think it's true. But I think this is for women who maybe aren't as aware that it can help you as well. Like, I've totally been there. Like, I've made, like when I know they're gonna come. And you just allowed her, have you? Yeah, yeah, you're coming. But I think also you're like, oh, baby, fine, come. Thank God. That's when we fake it sometimes. We should never fake it. But I think that, yeah, women can realize it, like, if you. Yeah, it can speed up their orgasm as well. But if you fake it or not. Women are not. Check this out. We're not the only primates who vocalize during sex. I love this. So research in the animal kingdom reveals that female baboons for example, have a variety of copulation calls which appear to relate to their fertility.

So their vocalizations are more complex when the females are closer to ovulation and vary when a female's mating with a higher ranked male baboon. So, yeah, I remember learning all this sexual anthropology. It's true. And you would know, like with your partner, like, if you're with a higher male, you'll be like, whatever you monkeys make.

Yeah, that was a good attempt, I think.

And female macaw monkeys, they give a shout to help trigger their mate's orgasm too. So that's our primates. They're like, come on, babes.

Like.

Is that a good monkey? So vocalizing. Yeah, you guys. And I also think, you guys, I have to say that it helps women. The more vocal you are in your life, just, you're gonna get more what you want.

Bed.

That's funny. Do you like my monkey?

I love your monkey.

Start doing more animal impressions. All these, I don't know. I've. I've so many skills.

More animal impressions.

I don't know.

I'll record them rough. Put them on your.

That was the most adorable.

Rough.

Did dog say rough?

Well, speaking of. Okay, did you know. Sorry. This is a completely random fact, has nothing to do with what we were talking about, but cats like meow. Not really because they need to meow, but to mimic the sounds that like people make to each other. And like babies.

It's usually babies. Yeah, it's mostly babies crying. And they learned to like to meow over time. Domestic cats, to get the attention of their owners.

Isn't that crazy? So I'm like, so you can. So especially those cats that are always just like, like every like five seconds, you're just like, so you're a cat.

Well, he makes these really weird noises. They're like, it's really crazy. Some like Pokemon noise. And I'm like, what is going on in the bathroom?

He's a happy cat.

Yeah.

He's having a great old time.

The cats are just so. They're meowing to manipulate us. Pretty much.

We're really smart.

They are really smart.

Cats are like, no. Rare of the owners. Yeah. Where you're luck. Where dogs are like, I'm so loyal. I'm so lucky to be here. Cats are like, you're lucky that I'm here.

Pretty much. I know. I feel like I'm more like a cat and I probably. I'm hesitating getting a cat, but I know that's the better animal for me. But I Want a dog so bad.

You need a. You need a cat. That's because cats are independent. You just need a dog that's seasoned.

I need an older dog. Yes. Seasoned dog who knows everything and just wants to cuddle. It's true. All right, guys, we'll take a quick break, and we come back. We're going to get into your calls.

All right, let's talk to Maria. She's 50, in New Jersey, and she wants to know how she can please her husband orally.

Hey, Maria. Let's do that. Hi. Hi. Hi.

I'm so glad to hear you guys.

We're so glad to be back.

This is. This is my second marriage. My husband is great. We've been together almost a year. Okay, so we're still in the honeymoon phase. The sex is amazing. After 40, 50 is even better.

That's what I hear. I love it, Maria.

Yeah, but I'm having trouble, like, my. To please him orally.

Okay, and how do you know that?

Because my jaw keeps locking up.

Okay, so he. But did he tell you that it doesn't feel good or. Cause sometimes we make assumptions or we, like, assume they're not enjoying it, and they do. But you're saying you're having some pain? Some jaw pain.

Yes.

Okay.

No, he's happy, but I want to make him happier.

Right. Okay, I get that. So what's happening? So your jaw's hurting. So here's the thing. I love that he's happy with it. So really, this is about finding a comfortable position and some techniques for you to make it feel good to both of you. So the most important thing is that every blowjob was once, like, an orphan hand job, if you think about it, like, there was a hand like, you use. Hands are very, very important. If you use a lot of lube and take a break from the sucking and use your tongue and swirl it around his head. Like, the tip of the penis is the most sensitive. So the head of the penis where the shaft meets the tip is the frenulum on the underside of the penis. There's, like, this little area that you can use your thumbs and tickle it. You could use your tongue and be enthusiastic. You got to take the breaks, though, from the sucking. That's why you're getting it. So you could just even just use your hand up and down. We had a good show with our penis. I don't know.

Yeah, it's called. It's a podcast. It'll be on our site. It's called Hard at Work. Hard at Work, dude.

That was the best title. Hard at work.

Literally.

Maria. I just did a whole podcast about this, and it's all my favorite tips. But if I really think that, just don't. And maybe you should make sure you're in a comfortable position and a lot of lube and you don't have to put your whole mouth in so you get tired. Use a lot of hands. Play with his balls. Ask him what he likes. Also, we're going to put. We'll put this show in the show notes so you can listen to it if you go tosex on me dot com. Thank you. Okay, good, Maria, you got this girl. You'll be great. All right, thanks for calling.

Let's take an email.

All right.

Okay. This one comes to us from Frank, who is 34 in California. Hi, Emily. I love your show. Been listening for about a month or so. My question is, how can I get my fiance to feel more comfortable about masturbating and also be able to fantasize as well? I want her to share with me her deepest desires and fantasies so I can help her achieve them. I love her and want her to be more open with her sexuality. Thank you for always helping so many out there, Emily.

Oh, thank you, Frank. Thanks for the email. I love that you really want her to experience pleasure. The question, though, how do I get her to. How to get her feel more comfortable masturbating and fantasize? You have great intentions here because it's true, you guys. Having a fantasy life is part of having a healthy sex life, and so is masturbating. What I'm thinking, Frank, is she's gonna have to, with your support, kind of figure out what that means. And it might, like, take a little bit more time than just one conversation or, you know, but there might be a reasons why she doesn't masturbate. There's a lot of women who don't, who never have, for many reasons. I mean, shame, guilt. A lot of women think, well, I shouldn't masturbate because I'm gonna save it. Why should. Why do I need to masturbate? I have a partner to do that. And it just. It's not even part of, like, it never occurred to them. And I know for some men, they're like, huh, really? You know, but no, that's just how women are. And I often. A lot of what I. I do here is to encourage women to take a look at, you know, to start. Just start slow. Start thinking about things that, you know, things that have turned you on in the past, like so, Mrs. White, be a way you can help her. Oh, one more thing I want to say is that another. The other wild card here is if women or men have experienced any kind of sexual trauma, this is also something that she's going to have to get therapy and work through. But let's just assume. Let's just say for here, let's just talk about getting her more comfor comfortable with fantasizing and masturbating and all those things. Make it something that you do together. So how you're going to get it, how you're going to be able to. It's just saying, you know what? I love you. I love my beautiful wife. And I really like. One of my goals, one of my duties as your husband and in our relationship is to make sure that we continue to grow and prioritize our sex life. Let's make a plan. Let's talk about things that we can do together that would really, you know, make it amazing for both of us. And now she might not even know what that means. Like, she'll be like, well, I don't know. Everything you're doing is great. Because I know. I know that when I used to be asked those questions before I knew stuff about sex, I'd be like, oh, no, it's fine. Whatever you're doing is feels good. Or I'd say, I don't know what I want. Like, they'd be like, is this good? I'd be like, yeah. Does this feel good? Yeah, like, they'd be touching me. I'm like, yeah. Because I didn't know because I didn't do the work. And so it means that you could go on a mission with her to explore and maybe just ask her this. What is the top three times you've had sex and why that you remember the most? And then that would tell you she's a idol. Fantasize. She might say, well, that time you came up and kissed me from behind, I didn't know you were home yet. And then you threw me on the bed, went down on me. Or the time you bought me that beautiful diamond ring or the beautiful jewelry and something. So you need to. We were on the beach in Mexico and the waves were crashing. And now you're gonna know. Okay, she likes being away. She likes on vacation. I. And who doesn't? Vacation sex is real. Or maybe she likes touch when you kiss her intimately and there's foreplay. So I think it's just a matter of getting comfortable with the conversation around. We are in this together. We are A team. We're going to make our sex life great. And then the masturbation thing, mutual masturbation. Going to a sex toy store together and going shopping and being like, what looks good to you? You know, or listening to the show. A lot of. A lot of couples just sit down with the podcast. If you're not into podcasts, we've got thousands of them. Wherever you listen to them, they're free. We also have all the shows on the SiriusXM app. I think they're good for a week. You can download them.

We have 10 episodes right now.

We have 10. So right now, download them and listen together on a road trip or at the house, because it's hard to talk about this stuff. I get it. But sometimes listening together, you know, she'll get inspired. Sometimes she has to hear it enough. I mean, Jamie, you've mentioned people, you know that are close to you that are listening, and they're like, oh, yeah, you know, maybe I should masturbate. You know, after you said you had a friend. And so after a while of hearing this stuff, you're like, yeah, why aren't I masturbating? Damn it. Like, I deserve pleasure. And orgasms. They're good for my pms. What? They're good for my skin. They're gonna put me in a better mood. Sign me up. People don't know there's health benefits to orgasm. And then just, you know, the more we masturbate, the more we. The more we know our body, the more we love ourselves. It's literally called self love. Because I think we could all. You know, it's loving ourselves, and I think we could all stand to love ourselves a little more in every way.

Mm.

So I feel about that, Frank.

Let's talk to Laura, who's 28 in California, and she wants to know why can't her girlfriend orgasm?

Hey, Laura, thanks for calling.

Hi, Emily. Thanks for taking my call.

Of course.

I had called, like, six weeks ago, and so I just wanted to say thank you for.

That conversation. I was asking how to make a move when we were newer.

Yes, I remember.

Yeah.

You told me to just ask, can I kiss you? And I did that, and it was great.

Oh, my God. And six weeks later. You're so welcome. Sometimes you just gotta ask. It's a good move, right? Awesome, Laura. Okay. Well, I'm glad that helped, and I'm glad you're comp.

It's going super well. Yeah. I mean, we're like a great match in a lot of ways, and we're Exploring, like, kink together and, you know, having open conversations about what we like and want to try. But she doesn't come with partners, and that's, like, her thing.

Okay.

And we're still, you know, doing our thing, having fun, exploring. But I guess I'm just trying to figure out, is there anything I can do to, like, support her in maybe being able to, like, move through that.

So she's never orgasmed from anything you've done to her? So you've never seen her orgasm yet, Right?

I mean, I've definitely seen her, like. I don't know how to call this, but, like, when there's, like, just more lubrication.

Right. So she's been aroused. Yeah. She's been turned on or maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

So has she ever, like, a point of climax?

I mean, have you ever asked her why she thinks that is? Or is she just, like. That's who I am. I don't come with a partner.

I asked one of your questions that you've probably told other people to try of, like, what works for you when you're alone?

Yeah.

And she said it's nothing you're doing or not doing. It's just I'm in my head.

Oh, okay. And has she been in other relationships before with women?

I think she's newer to it.

Okay. I think what would be really cool is if you guys had, like, a night at home where you guys are playing around and do some mutual masturbation, because that is such a. If she's comfortable with that, which I hope she would be. You know, when you're both kind of getting off, then it's. It's hot because then you're looking at her get herself off. But then also you're seeing what she actually does and how she touches herself. And I know she might say, no, I can't even have anyone in the room. But I think that's a loving way for her to kind of try it out again without the pressure of orgasm. So that would be one way. And I think she wants to be able to orgasm with someone. Let's just say it's not that she can't. She hasn't yet. And why she might not, I don't know. Like, maybe she has some. Some shame around it, or she's. You know, there's a million reasons. Like, she could feel like she doesn't like her orgasm face or she's embarrassed she has to use a VI every time, or. Or maybe she's never orgasmed, for all we know. I think if. If her so those are a few things. But then also she said she's in her head. And so when we're in our head, it's really important to. And you said you guys are getting into some kinky stuff. What's really a lot of people who are into, like BDSM and kinky stuff, it actually helps take them out of their head and into the moment because you're focusing on pleasure, pain, a role you're playing, spanking or receiving or talking dirty. And so you' actually present, so that might help you. And then also just general mindfulness. Like you guys are like making eye contact, breathing together. You're, you know, you're listening, you engage all your senses. So you've got a candle lit that smells great and got really sexy music. And, you know, she's feeling the touch on your, you know, of her hands on your body. And just practice slowing down and really being intimate together. And maybe she can help move through some of her mind stuff if she feels really connected and safe with you.

Can I ask a follow up question?

Yeah.

So I feel like we're trying all these things and I think we're both trying to kind of take the pressure off of like, making sure she can figure out how to get there okay. But I guess in terms of the, like, mutual masturbation thing, or, you know, supporting her in mindfulness, like, is there a way I can talk to her? Like, do you have a suggestion of what to say that might help her feel comfortable, like, trying those things out?

Yeah. I think what you should say to her is next time you see her, not when you're in the bedroom, you guys are hanging out, having dinner, you know, breakfast. To say, you know what? I. These six weeks have been amazing. I think I really, I really love, you know, the connection we have. And, and I know we've talked about this before, but it would give me so much pleasure or it really turns me on. Or, you know, you'll know her language. But like, I would love to go on a journey with you where we can figure out what turns you on. I mean, I think it sounds like maybe you've said that because you said you already did the not pressure thing, but I think it's a matter of saying you're safe with me. I think it'd be really high without the pressure, but, like, I would really be turned on helping you have an orgasm and helping you get there. I think it would really, you know, connect us even more. And I want, you know, I'm here for you for, for anything. And I think it'd be fun to try some new things out. And if anytime you don't feel comfortable, you know, I think it'd be really hot to see how you touch yourself. And we can light some candles. We can take a bath together, you know, just kind of. Just kind of lowering it, you know, your tone and just kind of making it more like, hey, like, what do you think about that? But I think it would, you know, be really hot and without the goal of orgasm. How about the goal of exploration?

So. And then also you could say, yeah, does that, you know, so just more like. I mean, like, I think, because trying mutual masturbation. I mean, which one of those do you think she'd be into first?

Maybe the mutual masturbation?

I mean, honestly, you could say I was. Do you tell her you listened to the show? I heard this thing, and I just.

Just.

I think it's a really. I think it would just be so great because I could, you know, see how you touch yourself. That would turn me on. You can see what I do. I think it'd be fun to play together. I love, you know, if you guys are into kinky stuff, to me, that would be something that she might be into because it's really hot and fun. So I think just putting it out there. There's a page, oh, this is what we're gonna do right now. I have a page in my book called Hot Sex, and we're gonna take a picture of it and we're gonna put it in the Instagram stories, and it's about mutual masturbation.

So if you go to exemplifying, you swipe up, you can check that out. But I think it's really just talking to her and letting her know that it'll enhance both of your. You know, that you just want to help her get there and all that, and you support her. Find out more why. So, yeah, I hope that helps.

Okay.

Yeah. Thanks, Laura. Call me back when it happens. We'll help you with the next things that come up, because they always do. All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed the show. I love doing the show. I love all of you. Thanks for calling in. Thanks for supporting the show. Thanks to my amazing team. Ken, Michelle, producer, Jamie, Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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