Flashback Friday: All of the Orgasms

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Thanks so much for listening to the show. But quick question. Is anyone else starving right now? I mean, seriously, my days are so busy. I'm constantly running around from meeting to the office to the studio. I never have time to shop or get food. You guys always hear me talk about that. So how am I supposed to stock up on healthy snacks? And I love to snack. In fact, I think I only snack. That's why I'm so excited about graze.com. have you heard of graze.com? let me tell you this. It's a snack service that delivers tasty, nutritious snacks right to your work or home. And each box is customized to your taste preferences. You can like tell them what you like and dietary requirements. Plus, all Graze snacks come in perfectly portion packs, great for munching on the go. And if you're anything like me, you probably crave a little variety in your snack drawer, right? Well, graze.com lets you pick from over 100 handcrafted snack creations to satisfy any craving. My personal favorites, the whole grain banana shortbread dippers only 150 calories.

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz My man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexthemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts and check out all our cool content that will improve your sex Life. Absolutely. Certainly 100% sure of that. Hi, Menace.

Hi.

How you doing? So good to see you. It's been like weeks, but Vegas was fun. I went with Kelsey, my assistant, and we just went all around and then I was like, yeah, I was at Sinclair Institute signing books for them and I got to meet the people from there. It was just all good, good people, Sweet, good times. Like people in the industry.

Didn't you go to LA or.

I'm going to LA tomorrow or Wednesday.

Oh, Wednesday, right.

Going to la.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna be on the Doctors TV show.

Sweet.

And I'm going to do a bunch of media type things, talking about 50 shades of gray, which I finally read, which I thought was good but not great, not well written. But 50 Shades of Gray, you know, is like the whole crazy phenomenon. So we're talking about like bondage My favorite topic. And massage candles. The Jimmy Jane massage candles, which I love. We're giving away. I shouldn't tell this because it's a secret, but we are gonna give them away to everyone in the audience. Nice. Yeah, it's good. How have you been? What's new?

I went to San Luis Obispo, California, where they have a place called Pismo Beach. There's a college called Cal Poly there, too, for my buddy's two day wedding.

Oh, Jesus.

But it was so. Pismo beach is beautiful.

Okay. Was it warm?

It was warm. It was nice.

That's all I care about.

We're just, like, on the side of this cliff by the beach, and, you know, my buddy has this very small ceremony. And it was really cool. And.

It was really quick, though, right? So then I decided, well, you know, I'm in San Luis Obispo. I'm not here often. I might as well check it out. So I went to downtown San Luis Obispo, and it was really cool to have, like, all these cool shops and stores and things like that. And they have this thing that I always wanted to check out. It was called Bubblegum Alley. Well, it's this tiny little alley that people have just stuck thousands of pieces of bubble gum on.

Gross.

It's up on my Instagram, by the way. Announcement. And I know you're upset by this.

I am upset by it. I don't even.

What? What?

I just feel like I just know you in a different way. I don't know.

Anyways, I have switched my Twitter name and my Instagram name just to Menace.

Why'd you drop the white Menace?

It's just. Everyone just calls me Menace all the time.

No one ever. I sometimes I say White Menace.

But, you know, Menace. Menace alone is a premium domain, and if I was able to obtain it, I might as well just do it.

Can you get menace.com?

I can't. I've been trying for 14 years. Who has it, won't give it up. Somebody in, like, Virginia or something. But. So I go there. Day one, check it out, eat, hang out. Then I had to drive all the way back to San Francisco, stay the night. And then day two of the wedding was in Modesto, California, which is back.

That is insane.

Another two hours away. San Luis Obispo, three hours.

Why would they do this with friends? Like, that's torturous. I don't get it.

A hole.

And I had to do all that driving like everyone else. Yeah.

And I had to get back up, and I had to put on the suit again and do the whole thing and take photos. It was that part.

Did you bring a date or not to this one? I can't remember.

Yes, but that part was just. That whole wearing the thing over again was a nightmare. And I had a. You know. But we went in a party bus. We had all this fun and a lot of our old friends were there. And our buddy was DJing.

Is he a buddy from high school?

He's an old radio buddy.

Okay.

And our buddy who does, like, parody songs is there and he was like singing with a mariachi band and all this stuff. Hilarious. But this is so awesome. At the end of the night, they play Katy Perry's yous're a Firework.

Right, Right.

They had fireworks, like for real fireworks at the wedding.

That's really cool.

That was going along with the music. It was pretty cool.

That's pretty cool. Fireworks are awesome at a wedding. I've seen that. That's awesome.

And then so afterwards we said, hey, let's go back to the hotel and party. There's a hotel bar. We walk into the hotel bar, there's a 1982 class reunion union happening. So I'm with my date and I'm with my good girlfriend of mine and her boyfriend. And I was like, oh, we all decided we had to go to the restroom first. So we go to the restroom and then the girls are in the restroom. And all these ladies that were in the 1982 reunion were just firing on me left and right. Like, what's up?

What are you doing here? They're hitting on you?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. They're probably wasted and married and their husbands were home.

Yeah. And they just, like, wanted to get down.

Really? Were they any of them cute?

I would say, I swear, like, within a five minute period, six different ones hit me up. And I would say, like, two of them were good.

Okay. Oh, my God. Menace, you could have been this up. You had a girl with you. What happened with the girl?

Nothing.

It was fun.

Yeah, it was cool. And then we just like, partied. And then we hit up Denny's at 3am, a place that you would never go.

I've been to Denny's. I get that grand slam or whatever, but it was.

It was amazing. And, you know, you get to see people are in love. But it was so funny because. And I gotta give credit to this, I was actually talking to another friend of mine this morning about this. My buddy has been with this girl, say, about maybe seven years now, and they already had a kid together.

All Right.

That's initially, like, why they were together. My buddy was like, he. He wanted to be around for his kid, but he didn't know, okay, this is the person that I want to marry or not. So he, like, tried out the relationship for quite a while, and he ended up having another kid with this girl.

Wow.

So they've had this relationship for seven years. And then he silently decided, like, hey, this is, you know, the girl that I want to be with. So I got to give him credit that he didn't totally. He didn't get just married right away just because he had a kid with this girl, like, he went through, and.

They'Re still in there in love, and it all worked out with the kids. That's good. I'd love to hear that. Because a lot of times you can have a kid and think that you should get married and you should have.

People do that. People do that all the time.

Such a wrong thing to do. Today's show, we will be talking about toygasms and different kinds of orgasms. I didn't get to say that at the top. So if you're wondering when we're gonna get sexy and dirty, we are gonna do that in a second.

Hey, part of relationships is part of sex, you know?

No, it's important to hear that people are happy and getting married still in the world.

I know. Which you don't condone.

I do. I do. I hope people get married and have happy weddings and happy lives. But it's funny, you know, at this convention that I went to, because it's like, so many people in the sex industry, everyone's, like, into all their weird. Just what you think. Like, not weird, but alternative lifestyles. So people who were just like, I had, like, weirdos are like, you know, married men and, like, everyone hitting. And everyone's doing their thing because they're away from home. Who knows what's going on in Vegas? But it's kind of sketch. It really is.

I'm gonna be in Los Angeles Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Really?

Yeah, I'll be there.

Another fuck freaking wedding.

I.

I mean, Friday, today. Sorry, I'm totally lost on my time, but. No, there's a comedy festival. I'll be there.

Oh, fun.

Be interviewing comedians and stuff.

That's so nice.

So I'll ask them some sex questions.

Ask them some questions, will you? They're usually tormented comedians.

Yeah. I wonder if comedians. Comedians probably get laid a lot. They travel a lot.

Yeah. They're celebrities.

Yeah, right. So they probably hook up, for sure.

People love sex questions. Ask them sex questions. Oh, you can always email me. We're going to be getting to your emails in a second. That you sent a feedbackexwithemily.com youm can also find me on my website. Just email me straight from there or on Twitter and Facebook. Sex with Emily. Okay. Ex boyfriend in the attic. This story came out last week.

Oh, I sent this to you?

Yeah.

You sent this to me.

Oh my God.

Okay.

I didn't read it though.

No. A ghoulish sound coming from a South Carolina woman's attic turned out to be coming from her ex boyfriend who had been hiding there. Tracy, a mother of five, heard a loud thump last Saturday night and began to see nails falling from the ceiling. Something just ain't right. There was some poltergeist stuff going on was Tracy's initial reaction. Around 2:30am.

Tracy's ex boyfriend of 12 years had been hiding in her attic near the heating unit for two weeks. Sonic cups filled with urine and feces were found in the attic nook as well as a rigid ceiling vent so that the man could look down at Tracy in her bedroom. The suspect fled the scene after being discovered and is still at large. That's friggin crazy. Change your locks. When you break up with somebody, people change your locks.

This guy was living in the attic. I forgot.

From 12, from years ago.

Okay. I thought like he was living in there for 12 years. When I read the. When I read the title.

Ex boyfriend of 12 years. They dated for 12 years. Living in her attic with feces and. Oh, disgusting. Yeah, not good. South Carolina attic. Yeah. So change the locks. It's so funny because I have keys to like my ex boyfriend's place, but we share a dog, so I need the keys. But everyone's got keys to his house. Like all of his girlfriends. Like things could happen. People could break and kill yourself. You got to be careful, okay? A sex researcher's son arrested for exposing himself. A prominent sex reacher son. Sex researcher. Researcher. I'm trying to say that 10 times fast. Who had been cited for public masturbation in New York City Central park early this year, has been arrested for exposing himself in a rural Michigan sting operation. He's 60. He yelled for the attention of two undercover female officers kayaking. He was completely nude and making obscene gestures with his exposed body parts from the back of Pinobog River. The Huron County Sheriff's office had been investigating four similar events in the area before arresting Masters in an undercover singer operation. Masters III is the son of the late Dr. William H. Masters. You know, Masters and Johnson, like the big sex researchers, is being charged with aggravated indecent exposure and a $2,000 fine. What is it with these compulsions of men just to get naked and masturbate.

And have people look at them? I would really want to interview somebody like that.

Yeah, I want to call you some.

Have somebody else interview them and say, why do you do this?

I don't know. People get off on it. They think it's. They, you know, they. That's what turns them on. That's their fetish. That's their thing.

I hear about this with women in public transit. That's why I don't want to go on.

Because, like, you hear that women are masturbating. Oh, that guys are doing it. Yes. I don't get it. I don't get it all, but I told you, it happened to me twice in New York when I was little, when I was like, you know, visiting with my mom, two guys were masturbating in the movie theater and I was like, so freaked out. And they got up and they were like, zip their pants up. And they had all the. They had a newspaper where, you know, that they. Wow. It was gross. And I'll never forget that. Okay. Couple filmed having sex at a Yankees game. 2 New York Yankees fans scored a home run at this weekend's game against the Tampa Bay Rays. A horny couple couldn't wait until halftime to get intimate and were discovered having sex in a bathroom stall under the left field bleachers during the second inning as onlookers took pictures and videos of the couples having sex. They must have been drunk. Nothing seemed to deter or stop them from consummating their mutual affections. They didn't even notice the cheers and screams coming from the gathering crowd.

Wow.

People were jockeying for positions outside the stall to take pics either over understanding of the stall. The Yankees are believed to be aware of the situation but have declined to comment. How could you. In a bathroom stall under the left field bleachers? So it's a bathroom stall under the bleachers, but wouldn't they still be inside the bathroom? Like, how could you take pictures of it? I don't get it.

Well, people probably heard what was going on and then.

Right. Started talking about. Start talking about it.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, just be careful you're having sex, people. Why do people have sex? I mean, I understand outdoor sex, but you just got to be. Got to be careful. You got to pay attention. They're probably drunk. Had a few too Many beers, right? I've written once before. I'm a 29 year old from Atlanta with a friends with benefits issue. She is 34 and been a friend of mine for the last eight months. Recently, she came by my apartment and things happened. Started with kissing, then manual stimulation. No intercourse. We've discussed a friends with benefits relationship, which I'm fine with. One problem, she told me after a weekend together, she's sleeping with a man from her office, unprotected. She wants to know if I'll sleep with her with protection. She's also dating another man as well. My brain tells me these are flags, but another part of me is telling me to go ahead and sleep with her. What do I do? 29 in Atlanta. P.S. i bought your book, Hot sex. Really enjoying it. My book is called hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. And I promise you it will blow your sex life through the roof. So check it out. Okay. Anyway, friends, benefits. Yeah, honey. 29, Atlanta. There's lots of red flags there. She's sleeping with a bunch of people. Do you want to be one of her. One of her entourage that she's sleeping with? Do you want to be part of her posse? Part of her pussy posse? I was trying to think of an alliteration and I couldn't. No, but really, it sounds like if you're okay being. This is what happens in friends benefits relationships. She's sleeping with people. You're sleeping with people. If you use protection, I guess it's fine. If you really like her and you'd like this relationship to go somewhere else, don't sleep with her. Don't even get started. Don't do it. Don't continue the relationship because she's sleeping with three other guys. But if you're like, I'm down with that, then I can date other women and it's fine. And you're both on the same emotional page. See, when friends with benefits relationships go wrong, it's when one person wants more than the other person and then they don't talk about it, and then the other person gets upset. So you're calling her sleeping with other people flags. And I'm saying in friends with benefits relationships, everyone's sleeping with other people. So I'm not sure that you're ready for this. I think you might like her more than that and it makes you uncomfortable that she's sleeping with other people. So it's probably not a good idea.

And wear rubber, dude.

Yeah, I mean, she said she's having unprotected sex. With one guy she's having, and then she wants him to have protected sex. So, yeah, you should definitely wear. I actually read a study. You know, you always joke around. I'm just telling you guys, don't try this at home. You're like, oh, yeah, don't wear one condom, wear two condoms. In fact, wearing two condoms is less safe than wearing one condom because the two condoms can rub together and rip. There's friction. So don't ever wear two condoms. You might.

No, no.

People always make jokes about it.

Oh, you better double bag it.

Just don't ever double bag it. Because there was a study that said it's not good.

Yeah, but I think people shouldn't. They know that by now, right?

I don't know. I didn't. I think so. I just read that today. So anyway, so don't you think. I mean, he's hot for her. She's a friend. They've been friends for a while.

You know, I think if he just wants to hook up with her, then just wear a condom and then have sex with her.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

If you're like, oh, I can maybe make the chick my girlfriend one day. That's never gonna happen.

It's not never gonna happen. I mean. I mean, she might. You might be the last man standing. I don't know. But I wouldn't go into it thinking that she's gonna just all of a sudden decide that you're the one. So it seems like you know that already, but it's hard when you're hot for someone and you've been friends for a while and you wanna sleep with her. I understand that, but just make sure that you are in a mental place that can handle it. Okay. Dear Emily, I'm losing my mind. I need someone to talk about this. I need someone to talk to about this. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking? I did the peanut butter thing on the vajayjay and let the dog lick it off. Wow. Literally, like a minute. Oh, my God. I'm so disturbed that I did that. I'm having a hell of a time getting through my days without thinking. I am some horribly nasty person. I've never, ever done anything like this. Help. How do I get this out of my head? Am I really the only chick who did this? Oh, my God. I'm mortified with my lapse in judgment. Help. Losing my mind. Sam.

Well, Sam, I mean, is it awkward now between you and the dog when you look at each other?

Yeah.

Does it kind of look the other way?

Exactly. I'm just wondering if your dog is behaving more or not behaving more.

I mean, people have laughs and judgments all the time.

Don't worry about it.

I know this might take a while to get out of your head, but you know, it.

Don't worry about it, Sam. I mean, that's why you've heard of it, is because people actually do it. So I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, did it feel good?

I want to know.

I mean, you think you're gonna do it again? Is that what you're afraid of? Do you think you're gonna move on to other animals? Then we have a problem.

Now if this is something that also embarrasses you, do not share with anybody that you know.

Yeah, don't tell anybody but me.

You might already have, but just don't. I mean, if this is something that's gonna hurt your self esteem if it got out, then please don't. Even if it's the person you trust more than you know, cross your heart, hope to die type thing, just don't.

Just don't. Because people are gonna judge you and you already feel bad enough. But let me tell you, it's just not safe. I would say just have the dogs. Just from a health standpoint, probably not the safest thing to have the dog's saliva down there. So I would just wouldn't do. That's another reason to get you to stop from doing it again. But you're fine. You have no diseases. I'm sure you're fine. And don't beat yourself up. We all do things that we regret and I just. You gotta let it go. And how do you let it go? You're asking me how? Just stop thinking about it. Write it off. Make yourself feel fine. Like we all do things like that and you're experimenting and maybe one day, you know, you'll laugh at it with yourself by yourself because you're not gonna tell anyone about it but me. So. So I really wouldn't worry about it.

You wanna know something embarrassing? I have to poop naked. How about that? Aww, I've shared that.

Thanks for sharing. You have shared that. You have shared that. He has to get all naked, even if he's in his office.

Yes, Completely naked. So how about that? There you go.

There you go, Sam. Menace gets naked. I wish. Yeah. I don't even know what to say about that. I forgot about that one. I knew. Remembered it though. I didn't forget. But I remember I can't go in.

Public places unless it has a full door.

A full door?

I don't know why. I'm just more.

What do you do at work, though? Really? They have, like, stalls. You just don't go.

I just don't go.

Wow.

That's why I live close.

Do you go home in the middle of the day?

If I have to, yes. I've driven an hour just to go back to my house before.

That's.

I don't understand what your issue is.

I don't know, but I've put this out there before and people say that they have the same issue. Well, I don't even know if it's an issue. It's just like a comfort factor.

Yeah, it's not an issue. I'm not gonna judge you. Madness. Because you drove an hour to take a poop. But that's. I'm really not. I'm really not. There's nothing wrong with it, but. See what I mean? People do all kinds of things.

You should try it. You should try it and feel and see how it feels.

It feels very freeing. Have you always been this way since you were a young child? Yeah. Interesting feels. I don't even know what to say.

I like mine just relaxed.

Do you fall asleep?

No. I wish.

I should give an embarrassing thing, but I don't have any.

Oh, excuse me, little miss Perfect.

No, I'm not perfect. If something pops in my head, I'll share it just because I feel like we were. It's like a Kumbaya. We're all coming together with stuff right now and I don't have anything. But I'm also in Vegas for five days, so I'm a little tired. Okay. Dear Emily. Okay, this is a little embarrassing. Here's another embarrassing one. Oh, but I can't masturbate. There is no amount of touching myself in any way that will turn me on. I have no problems with a partner stimulating me, but when it comes to special alone time, I'm sol. You know what that means, right? I'm now in a long distance relationship where I'm dying and I'm dying without the sex. I want to try a vibrator, but I don't know what kind of stimulation I like because I can't masturbate anyways. I don't even know if a vibrator will work. What advice do you have for the situation, Liz?

Well, you get a dog and some peanut butter.

No, no, no, no, no, no, Liz, don't do that. I'M wondering, do you have orgasms with your partner when you're having sex? Is that the deal? Cause wondering if you have orgasms, fine. During intercourse, what feels good to you when you do that? And you can do that. You can stimulate that with a vibrator. So there's many different kinds of vibrators. If you're thinking about doing a vibrator, you could get a clitoral stimulator. You could get one that goes inside you. That could be a G spot vibrator. We saw so many of those.

In the show. There's so many G spot vibrators on the market now. So if that's how you orgasm, if you want to go to Good Vibrations, click on my website, go to the products page. You can see my favorite toys. I've got the Pocket rod I think is a great beginner vibrator. If you want to try something, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a more advanced vibrator. But if you can't have an orgasm, then alone, I would try that. That is a sure thing and see how that works. But I would also say maybe with your partner you could try to have Skype sex to see if that gets you going. If it's a long distance relationship, why not have Skype sex and get you in the mood and you start touching yourself in front of them and see how it goes. But I would say that it might take time if you're not able to orgasm. I mean, I would take a bath, I would touch your body, I would do things, I would get yourself in the mood. Like take a few days or a few weeks to really like make this like a commitment that you're going to figure out what makes yourself feel good and how to masturbate. Because really, you should know this as a woman. It's one of your life's work to know what makes you feel good. Because no guy is ever going to come along or no woman, whoever you're with, whatever, and figure it out for you. You got to figure out yourself. So I would say just start touching yourself. There's 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris. I'm sure if you start touching yourself down there, you're going to feel something. One of those little nerve endings is going to make you pop eventually. Like my infamous story about my friend took 30 days every day, masturbate every day for 30 days until she finally had an orgasm. Might take you that long, Liz, but if it's important to you, you'll make it happen. You'll make it happen right well, we're going to talk about our sponsor, Emily and Tony, which is actually my candles that I make. I have a brand called Emily and Tony. You go to emilyandyony.com and if you've never heard of a massage candle or used one, you're gonna want one because it is.

I made it so you'll have better sex and it'll spice for sex life.

Because it smells good and it's fun to use.

Have you had fun using it?

Me personally?

Oh, he doesn't massage. It's okay.

I mean, I don't massage.

You like the down under comfort?

I love the down under comfort. It is awesome.

That's for your boss.

But I use the candle all the time for the house.

Right.

Just not as massage candles, but my coworkers, which, remember, I don't know if you remember this. Gave me a bunch to give my coworkers, and they absolutely love it.

I love it. Okay, that's good. So basically, it's a massage, it's a candle. Look, it's a beautiful candle made in France. It's made of amazing ingredients. If you care about that stuff. Aromatherapy gets you in the mood. But what happens is you light it, you blow it out, and it turns into warm, sexy, sensual, luxurious massage oil.

That'S fun to play with and it's not.

Yeah, like, I put it on at night. People are like, I have no one to massage. I'm like, I give myself a hand massage every night.

I blow it out.

And it's not like, it's not this kind of like, you know, like a lot of massage oils. You get, like, all over your clothes in your bed. You got to change sheets.

It's sticky.

This stuff is just warm. It sticks to your skin, not anywhere else. And you'll love it. So check out emilyandtoni.com, use code sexwithemily for 20% off your first order. That's emilyandtoni.com. check it, you'll love it. Just saying you want to spice up your sex life. Hi, Emily. I've been in a relationship with a man for 10 years older than me for about five months, and just recently has his best mate. Oh, just recently, his best mate started showing interest in me. So silly me starts showing it back and we both start sharing dirty texts and intimate thoughts with each other on the phone. One night, we arranged to meet at his place. We have the most amazing sex I have ever had in my life. The next time we had sex, he didn't even want me to. The Next time we had sex, he didn't even want me to come over and the sex wasn't as good. He is really affectionate person, tells me how amazing I am. But there's another woman in the picture. Anyway, I decided to break it with my current partner. So I'm as. I'm feeling so strong for his friend. I was wondering if you'd give me some advice on how to get this man's attention or respect if I've lost it and how to make myself more appealing than this other woman. I don't know whether he is just after the sex or whether he wants more. He has given me mixed messages. He's worried about losing the friendship with my current partner. I know that I should back off and have decided after talking to a friend that I should back off completely. Can you please give me advice? Xxx Beth P.S. he also told me that night he might come to love me, but seemed worried about the risk. Thanks. Oh, Beth. Okay, this is not looking good any which way. I think you should listen to your friend and just end this situation. Because you've been dating this guy, you've been in a relationship and for five months. Then you start cheating on him with his best friend. Then the best friend is being wishy washy with you and the second time it's not as good. So you're just remembering that first time. It's like you did drugs with him one night and you feel amazing and you want that high and that connection that you had with him. But I'm here to tell you that that is the only thing that you know about this guy. You had an amazing night of sex and so you're just obsessing about it. And you because your PS tells me that he could love you that night. Men say a lot of things to women when they want to get in their pants, right Menace? Oh yeah, men say some things. So I'm sure that night you said, oh, you're someone I could love and you're amazing. But then you go back to him and he says he's dating someone so he's not even available. He's your boyfriend's your whatever, ex boyfriend's friend and he's kind of blowing you off. And you know what? If a guy is into you, he's gonna show it that he's into you. He's gonna be like all over the situation. And he also is right to say that it's gonna be tricky with his friend. His friend. You know, some guys have bonds and he already effed over his friend by sleeping with you. He probably doesn't want him to find out. So I would just say you've got to move on from this. And it's good that you broke up with the other guy. I'm proud of you for that. Because if you were still cheating, going back and forth, that's not a good thing. But I would just move on from both these dudes. And I'm telling you, if you don't engage with the other guy, you will meet someone else soon enough. Or you're just gonna. You just date for a while or do whatever. But don't go down the path of sleeping with a friend who's already blowing you off.

Yeah. And you have a really good friend that does give you some good advice. I would listen. See, that's what I always say. Women don't listen to advice.

They don't. Emily. They don't.

Women, no one till they're blue in the face.

I have some friends that I don't even give advice to anymore because I know they're not gonna listen to me. Like, I know you're not gonna listen to me. Why would I tell you something you're not gonna listen? And so. But. But, Beth, you took the time to email me, and I'm really glad you did. So please listen to me and don't sleep with this guy again. I mean, don't guys do that all the time? Jesus Christ. Okay, we can get into our topic now.

Yes.

Different types of orgasms. Okay. We get lots of questions about orgasms. Why are you looking like that?

I'm just. I'm waiting for what you're gonna say. I've never heard you bring up this thought before. Different types of orgasms.

You're lying. You've never heard me.

Wait, are you just talking about different ways that you can get an orgasm?

Well, I'm talking about everything. And toygasms. We're going to talk about toys and stuff like that. Okay. I thought internal versus external orgasms. Okay.

Okay. You're talking about the process of getting an orgasm. I thought there was, like, a new type of orgasm that I didn't know about.

You would know. I would tell you. If there was a new type of orgasm, you'd be the first guy to know.

All right.

So internal versus external. So most women require external or clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. So as I was telling the person who just wrote in that there's 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, which is actually way more than the penis. I think the nose is Another part of your body that has lots of nerve endings in it, but really it is your clitoris. And a lot of women, more than 70% of women, need to have clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. So it doesn't mean you can't have an internal orgasm as well. But you also need to be touching your clitoris. Or maybe just to get going, you touch your clitoris and then you can have an internal, like a G spot orgasm. So the clitoris is the female pleasure center. It's like the penis, but it's even more pleasurable. And there's a minority out there, less than a quarter of all women who can climax through internal stimulation alone. So only a quarter of women do not need clitoral stimulant. That's why I'm always talking about touch yourself during intercourse. If you're not able to have orgasm, have your boyfriend touch your clitoris. Show him how you touch it. Use a sex toy. There are so many. Oh, my God, we saw so many amazing couples toys. I was just saying at the beginning that I was at this lingerie show where they had all these sex toys and stuff in Las Vegas, which is. Where else would you have a sex show? And there's a lot of great. Like, the Jimmy James form two is amazing. Jimmy Jane vibrators, I love them. They're toys that you can get. If you go to my website and just click on the Jimmy J. Banner, use coupon code summer for $25 off orders over a hundred. The Form 2 is like a little rabbit. You can easily hold it over. It's like. It's not like the rabbit. It's like the ears of the rabbit, the famous rabbit. And you can put on your clitoris and it feels really, really good. You'll love it. Okay, so some women experience simultaneous internal and external orgasms. Do you even know what kind of orgasms women are having when they're having them? You don't.

I. Yeah, yeah.

You can tell.

Yes. External and internal.

I know, but how can you tell when she's having it? What? Where it's coming from? I'm just wondering if guys know that.

I can tell where it's coming from. Any means.

Do you know if she's having, like a G spot? I know, but can you? Because you know that she's been robbing her Claire. Like, would you find in your experience that most women need that?

Yeah, I would say at least half of them do.

Right. Okay. Just wondering.

Unfortunately, not all women are the same.

They're all different. Put 100 women in the room, and they're all going to orgasm differently. It's the truth. I'm sorry. I'm here to tell you people that it is the 100% God's honest truth.

You need a manual. You need to give out a manual. This is how it's. This is me.

Well, that's my iPhone app. My new app working on. Oh, I have an app that you might want. It's called Kegel camp. And you can do your Kegel exercises. They're for men and for women. Anyway, this app is. Yeah, it's like the manual of me. You give it to your partner. Like, this is what I need. This is how you do it. Kiss my neck. Undress me slowly.

That's good.

All the things that you use. Get me some water when I'm thirsty. Yeah, like. Yeah, it's really important. Don't you wish that a woman would just hand it over to you?

I would love that.

So anyway, these women experience these simultaneous internal and external. It's called. It's a blended orgasm. You can begin by using your fingers or an external vibrator, like the Form 2, twice as nice vibrators, such as the rabbit pearl from Good Vibrations are a great way to experiment with this. So again, go to my website, go to the products page, Good Vibrations, and use coupon code Emily. And you can experiment with these to try out. Like, a lot of women don't naturally know where their G spot, but I mean, I'm telling you, at the sex treasure, like, there's a million toys that people are making that are just targeting the G spot. And just like that dildo, I got that steel one. It's G spot. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna sit home. I always use vibrators, and it just doesn't vibrate. I'm just gonna see what happens. It's heavy.

Wow.

Isn't that amazing? I'm gonna let you know about my G spot. I'm not sure.

I don't know how you got through airport security with that. Still.

I don't either. You're right. You could knock someone out with this.

Totally.

I don't know how I did either. Okay, then there's single versus multiple orgasms. Single orgasms can last anywhere from a few seconds to a minute. And unlike most men, you can't have multiple. You require a refractory period. You have to build up again to have that second orgasm. Women, we can just keep going and going and going and going with little or no pause in between. Have you been with women who have multiples?

Yes. And it's tough for the guys, just like you said, because we can't. I mean, once we're done, we're done.

You're done. You're, like, sleeping already.

Yeah.

Right.

We gotta wait at least. How long does it take to. For a guy. I think they say, like, at least 15, 20 minutes.

Yeah, at least 15, 20 minutes for a guy to do that. So for a guy to have an orgasm again. Okay. So multiple orgasms come in forms, sequential and serial. Sequential orgasms that occur after one another with a few minutes in between.

And additional stimulation is often required to get from one to the next. And then there's many. So serial orgasms, one experience immediately after the next, and the next and the next. And this is a wild ride for those who can achieve it, which is not many women. But there's all these classes and courses and by readers, things I could do to, like, learn that I want to do that I gotta take the time. When the hell am I gonna do that?

You need to take the time to do a lot of things, actually.

Like, what else? Huh? Like watch tv.

Yeah.

Relax.

Yes.

Have fun.

Yes. I don't know what you do in the evening.

Because you're working on your brand all day.

That's what I do at night.

Work on your brand again.

What do you do at night?

Finally, at night, that's when I have my time to just hang out and.

Watch tv, which I'm cutting into now. I'm really sorry.

You are cutting into my TV and, well, I usually go to bed by.

Like, 8:00am what are you watching at 8:00pm? You mean, what are you watching on TV these days? Anything good? They need to know. I haven't watched Honey Boo Boo or whatever.

Yeah, I mean, that's hilarious, but you probably won't like it. I'm telling you, you need to watch the Newsroom on hbo.

Oh, yeah, it's on my list. It's totally on my list. I'm gonna do it, I promise.

And there's another hilarious show that you would not like, but I think the listeners would like. It's called Workaholics. I was hanging out with some people this weekend that work on that show, and it's one of the funniest shows on television. But I don't think it's your humor you don't wanna like.

Really? But Newsroom is. Newroom's, like, smart.

Yeah. You love it.

Okay.

Newsroom is your show. You have to watch it. It's very, like, politics and news and stuff like that. But it's funny. And there's sex in it too. It's.

Yeah, I'm gonna watch it tonight.

Please, please, just do me a favor.

I don't know if Stylus is coming over. I can't do it tonight, but I'll do it another night. I promise.

We'll have it on in the background. That's what I do.

I gotta do Morris. Everything.

So upsetting. Okay.

It's so ridiculous. It is.

I know it's ridiculous. Okay?

You are not a. I don't think you're a multitasker. I think you freak out when you have multiple things going on.

No, I am a multitasker, but I'm really, really bad at it. So. I'm a really bad multitasker and inefficient. And so. And they actually say, like, studies have come out that it's not good to multitask unless you're trying to give someone an orgasm in different ways. But really you're not. That it's not. Do you multi. You multitask all the time. And you've been multitasking? That helps your brain?

I don't know if it helps my brain, but I like knowing that I have things going on. If I don't have anything going on that I'm pacing.

Right. You always have things going on now.

Yeah.

Okay, so another. Orgasms are real versus fake. Okay? Studies indicate that as many as 80% of women have faked an orgasm at one time or another. There are many reasons from wanting to boost our partner's self esteem to feeling bad about being unable to achieve an orgasm or. Or just being too tired and wanting to call it a night. You've probably heard it before, but it's worth repeating. Nobody wins when you fake it. You cannot fake your orgasm. It's just not a good thing to do. So that's all we got time for today.

That's it.

That's it, baby.

All right.

Anything else?

Well, speaking of faking an orgasm, I watched this movie just recently. Damn it. It was so good. It was the guy from.

The Muppets and he was all. From Saving Silverman. Damn it. It was so good. But he. He fakes an orgasm.

Okay?

What happens is the whole plot of the movie, it's really good. Where.

They'Re a couple, they meet and they date for a couple years in San Francisco.

Okay?

And the. The guy, he's a chef.

And so he can. He can go work wherever he wants, but he's. He's like getting his his dream job. And his significant other is trying to get a job at Berkeley, but she doesn't get the job at Berkeley, so she gets a job in Michigan. So he goes, all right, I'm a chef. I can go with you. You know, let's do this. They just recently got engaged, and he's trying to adjust the life in Michigan, and he can't get any good jobs at restaurants. And, like, the restaurants are laughing at him like, you left San Francisco, like, top end job to work here.

What? This is a.

This is a movie, okay. Goddamn, I wish I knew the name of the movie.

Oh, you don't even know the name of it. There's no punchline.

I can get it. But it's so. It's so good because he, like, tries to adjust to this life that he doesn't want to do just for love. And then he starts acting super weird, so she ends up cheating on him with somebody.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. And then he freaks out and he moves back.

What movie?

It's all based in San Francisco.

I think I've seen it.

Really?

It came out a while ago.

Yeah, it came out a little while ago, but then they end up getting back together.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I've seen it. So familiar. Today's show, I have to mention real quick that I love the Sinclair Institute. They make educational DVDs, so they're like, it's not porn. It's like people having sex. But it's like, things you can actually learn. And they have this new 12 ways to boost your libido and 10 ways to go longer and stronger. And they're really popular, and they have a Live Better Love Better series. So if you've been wanting to, like, like, spice it up, you're like, God, I really want to be better at oral sex, or I really want to tie my partner up, or, like, anything that you can think of. You can go to Sinclair Institute, buy one of their DVDs, just click on the banner through my website, sexomily.com and yeah, you can learn a tool. You can learn a tip or a tool or something like that. Because, you know, I know. I try to teach you everything I can, but maybe sometimes I miss out. Maybe you haven't heard all my 600 million shows I've done. And you want to learn something? Go to Sinclair Institute. You'll love it.

And the Sinclair Institute is, like, real people having sex, but it's not porn.

It's not porn, so you don't feel dirty and gross. So it's awesome. Not that you do feel dirty and gross, because nothing's wrong with porn. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying.

And you shot a video hanging out with them?

I did. @sexemily.com sex with emily.com youm can check it out. Sexwithemily.com, i've got tons of videos. I've got apps. I've got things. I want you to subscribe to the podcast so you can listen to it every single week if this is the first time that you're listening. I do have more stuff that I could go into if you'd like me to.

Do you want to?

How do you feel?

I'm trying to really find the name of that movie.

Oh, you're obsessed. Okay, well, I can get into toygasms, which is another thing that.

A lot of people really, really don't know about toys. They don't know, like, there's this. Oh, my God, I met the hottest chick. She's like, I want. She might be too young for you now, but she's so smart. Like, I wanted to hire her, and she was selling these bras that are all, like, strapless and cool, and I have to remember the name of it, but she never.

She.

I'm like, oh, my God. She gave me all these really cool bras. And so I said, I'm going to send you a sex toy. What kind do you want? And she's like, I don't know. I've never used one. And so I think it's important for people to learn how to use sex toy men and women. And we've been writing about them a lot on the website and talking about a lot on the show. And it doesn't mean that you people who are, like, the people who are resisting toys, a lot of times the people who need them the most. And so I'm just saying that and we can get into this. Actually, I'm not gonna get into this now.

All right, you're gonna save it.

I'm saving it.

And the movie is called the Five Year Engagement.

Oh, I don't think I saw it.

You gotta see it.

Okay.

It's based in San Francisco, and it's about trying to adjust to each other's lives to, like, stay in a relationship. So I suggest, you know, I like. I like using movies for inspiration.

Exactly. No, that's good. Did you sign it?

It's on demand.

Okay. It's called the Five Year Engagement. Who's in it? Like, famous people?

Yeah, famous people. But I just can't remember.

Oh, Jesus. Okay, well, we are. I hope everyone has a great weekend and a great life and everything going well. And you're having lots of orgasms and lots of fun sex.

Emily Blunt's in it.

What? Oh, Emily Blunt. I feel like I saw it. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com okay, everybody, this is where I talk to you about your penis again. If we haven't talked about your penis enough, I'm going to talk to you about the Fleshlight, which is the number one sex toy for men. Because it really. Well, it just really is. It's the only one that you want. It is a masturbation sleeve. Oh, and they just came out with the go this week. Isn't that true, Madison? The Go, Go, Go. It's just lighter.

Yeah, it's closer to the size of an actual Fleshlight, but it's not more compact on the inside. So the outside is more small, more discreet. Inside exactly the same. Can still accommodate 90% of men. I believe it's just more travel size. It looks more sneaky. And check out our Instagram. We posted a really funny video.

We post the best video yesterday at Sex with Emily. But just, I don't know, you guys. I've been talking about this for over a year and a half now. And I know you guys are all loving it because every guy got one is like, oh, my God, where has it been my whole life? And it's not because you're not having sex. It does not because you're dissatisfied with your sex life. It's just like how I have a million vibrators or some women have two. It's fine. You should have something as well. That just feels a little different than sex. Just as good as sex and a little different than your hand. And also if you want to last longer in bed, the stamina trained training unit is awesome. So do me a favor, because I love you. And if you love me, go to sexwithemily.com, click on the Fleshlight banner, use code Emily, and you get a free bottle of their award winning flesh lube. Thanks everyone for listening. Love you.

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