For the Love of Oral

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jaejoo is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super soft, ultra quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20% off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r a so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to the show. And you're going to love this one because we are talking about everyone's favorite topic, oral sex. I know you love it and you want to be better at it and you want to understand it. So in this show, I'm giving you what you want, from how to give to how to get to the tips you need to blow your partner's mind. Men and women, I'm answering your emails on all things oral to help you get better at going down. So thanks everyone for listening. Enjoy the show. You know how I love my magic wand. I've been talking about it for years. Plug. You know the one that plugged in? I talked about how I drilled men. I'm here with Metis. Metis, do you remember my stories about the magic wand and how it plugged into the wall and I drilled the hole in my nightstand so it would always be plugged in to the wall. I've got some big news. What? Okay. The Cadillac of all vibrators. The magic wand is now rechargeable. Really? Cordless. Rechargeable? Yeah. It's amazing. They upgraded it.

It's insane.

I know. It's insane.

It's always been like plugged into the wall, right? Always.

For like 30 years. Here's the deal. It's the same toy, you know, and love and that you've all trusted for 30 years. It's powerful, penetrating vibrations, and now it's liberated from your bedroom wall. There is no cord, no limits to where and how you can enjoy it. And here's the thing. It's also improved because the rechargeable wand has a few other tricks up its sleeve, including a smoother silicone head. Plus, it has four intensity settings, plus four amazing vibration patterns. So the other one was, like, on. What was it on? And then two speeds after that. Well, now it's got, like, a whole bunch of other stuff going on, but it still is the same thing that you know and love. And I've tried them all, and it rocks my world even more, which I did not think was possible. So you can choose still. You can still get the original magic Wand, of course. That will never go away. Or you can get the portability of the rechargeable. Learn more and find out what other wand lovers had to say about the rechargeable vibe at Magic Wand rechargeable dot com. That's Magic Wand rechargeable dot com. Are you ready to go unplugged? Check it. Now.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com so you can listen to all of our podcasts and sign up for our mailing list. Have you not done that yet? Really? You really should. Cause our mailing lists are. They rock. We send out one a week. I'm talking like this, Like, I'm going through community. We send out, you know, once a week. We don't spam you or anything, but people really like them, and we send you interesting information if you miss the shows. We do two a week. We wrap them up in there. Our recent blog post, so check that out. And videos, all that fun stuff. And I'm here with menace.

Hello.

Hello.

Darling, I am excited to be here with you.

I. I swear. I swear, I swear. I actually. Really? Really. You like me today?

Yeah.

Now, you like me a lot lately, because we don't see each other as much. We used to do a week and.

It was like, yeah, too much.

I know. This show's about oral sex. Yeah. I'm excited. And menace, did you know that we're gonna talk about oral sex in the show? But I am now teaching a monthly workshop at Hustler Hollywood in Los Angeles. It's on Sunset Boulevard. And they were so popular, the other ones, which was amazing because I got to meet all of our peeps, and new peeps came and we talked a lot about. Last one was masturbation. This one is going down with Emily. It's on Tuesday, June 23rd. It's for men and for women. What?

No, I'm listening.

Oh. Get a course on oral sex 101. Enjoy champagne, giveaways and more. Doors open at seven. And it's really fun because I get up there, I talk to you about, you know, for men and women, oral sex. And then we walk around the store, take people shopping, show them the toys they like. It is gonna be awesome. So please RSVP HHRSVP.

As in Larryfin ProductionsLFP.com or you can RSVP on Facebook. There's a Facebook invite somewhere they can find.

Yeah, it's gonna be on our Facebook.

Oh, it's on our Facebook page. Oh. So sexofemily.com facebook.com sex with Emily. And Twitter and Facebook and Instagram is all sex with Emily. Hi. Minus.

Hi.

Are you gonna come to my oral sex workshop or. You already know everything you need to know.

Yeah, I'm an expert. I'm just kidding. No one's ever an expert on it. I mean, except for you, right?

Yeah. Now, I've always had stuff to learn. I really do. I think that we are always learning. We are always, always learning new tips and tricks. I remember reading a book once. I just was talking. Was this on a show? I don't remember if it's on this show, but I gave this. No, maybe on it. It was on an interview, actually. So it was an interview that someone was doing on the phone. But I remember just like, we all tend to do the same things sexually over and over again. Like, this is how I give a blowjob. This is how I give a hand job. This is how I kiss. But I was reading a book early on in the show when I started doing the show about Oral. It was all about oral sex. Blowjobs. And it said to do something. I wish I could remember what the exact move was. It was like something with my tongue and my hand. It was like mixing it all together. And I was about to go give a blowjob, funny enough, that night to my boyfriend, and I went to his house and I tried this little trick. Like, I'd be giving him blowjobs for six months, and he was pleased. He never complained. You know, he liked them. Yeah. But I did this little trick, and he was like. And he came and he was like, what the. What the hell did you just do?

Who have you been hanging out with?

No, no, but I, like, did this little trick. It was like a little tongue wiggle pull thing. And I'm just like, you know what? You can always become better at everything in life, so don't just stop, you know, with your oral sex limitations.

Yeah, I want to go back to that, but what's going on with you? Or are you trying anywhere? Going anywhere, Doing anything.

Oh, I'm going to New York in a few weeks to see you two. My friends putting on a concert. They're backstage. Sweet. I know. It's gonna be awesome. She works for salesforce.com foundation, and they're.

Doing a YouTube thing.

A YouTube thing. And so I said, I'm going.

That's awesome.

Backstage. I know. Awesome. It'll be really fun. So that'll be, like, a fun trip. I'll do a little bit of work there and a little bit of fun. And I should plan more trips this summer. Maybe Palm Springs. I kind of like Palm Springs.

Palm Springs is great.

It's like two hours away. It's like a totally different place. You're in the desert.

Yeah. That's super fun. I'm going to New York, too, but in August. Well, I'm going to Boston first, and then I'm going to New York, and then in September, I'm going to. Where am I going? Haiti? The Grand Caymans? Jamaica, Mexico? Yeah.

You're going on a cruise? Yeah. A Disney cruise.

No.

Why aren't you going on a Disney cruise? Because I just assume that you would, of all people.

I mean, I love Disney cruises. They're, like, my favorite. And they're. Believe me. Believe it or not, there's a billion adult only sections of the show.

I would hope so. I don't want Mickey Mouse showing up when I'm giving my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob on the.

You could pretty much avoid kids if you want to the entire time.

Those are the kind of trips I like. Not that I don't love kids, but.

But you know, everyone knows if they've been listening to podcasts a long time. I'm super Disney fan and I love it. Okay, I know I'm an adult, but it's fun. But the problem is the only time that I have.

Off is matches up with cruise that I already taken. So this one, I'm going on a different one.

Good times with your lady?

Yeah, with my lady. So we're gonna go check it out and get in some hot weather and stuff.

Have some vacation sex.

If vacation sex sex is always good.

And fun, everyone should check it out too, because I just wrote a new column for Harper's Bazaar online and it's about vacation sex and it's coming out soon now. It might even be out by the time you guys are all listening to this show. Sweet.

We talked about this on the last podcast, but I always like to promote it. If you are downloading this podcast from itunes, please just write a little review. The podcast is free. It costs Emily a lot of money to put together.

Time spent. There's employees. Say hello everyone in the room.

Yes, this is say hi, Lori, intern, amazing. Madison producer, amazing.

So there's like a lot that goes into it, so I'm not to guilt trip you or anything, but just please just write a review. Give it five stars. Because five stars is always. And I announced this on the last podcast. If you didn't see this or hear this, sorry. I was looking up all the podcasts and you're like in top 250. 260.

That blew my mind.

Itunes. Hundreds of thousands of podcasts out there. It's crazy. I couldn't believe it when I saw that.

I mean, you told me no, but.

I wanted to save it for the show.

I know we never talk outside the show, but that's probably the best. But that's amazing. You guys. I just want to thank you for allowing.

Me to do what I love. Make it's really hard to be like an artist and make a living and do what you love. Cause I actually. I never ever say I don't want to do the show. Like there's other things I don't want to do. Like I don't feel like doing my taxes, or I don't feel like talking to my accountant, or I don't. But things about the job. Right. I don't want to go to the website. It's hard for me. Right? But I friggin love doing the show. And I love hearing from you all. And I just want to thank everyone for, like, 10 years of supporting the show and making it a top podcast. And thank you, Menace. And we're going to do a live show, so listen up for information. Coming soon.

And then getting back to Blowjobs, because that's what's the most important Real quick.

Yeah.

Okay. Where do you think is the craziest place you've given a blowjob? Can you remember?

Gosh, that is such a good question.

Yeah, I know I've given some crazy blowjobs in some crazy, weird places that are sort of precarious. I remember at a wedding once, like, in the Hamptons.

Really?

There was like a super fancy outside, tents and everything. And we. I was with a boyfriend at the time, and we went, like, not too.

Far off the tent as the wedding's going on. Or is it reception?

Well, they were already walked down the aisle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the reception.

All the boring stuff is done.

And it was, like, outside. And I believe that people walked by and there might have been some kind of embarrassment.

They saw you. I know they saw you giving fellatio.

I mean, I'm trying to think of a crazy place, you know? Oh, I know. Like in my house recently, like, visiting my parents in Michigan. Thank God they don't listen. But I remember giving one, like, on the back porch. And then my mom woke up, turned the lights off. That was embarrassing at this age still. And then also, you remember my famous Coachella experience when I had sex at Coachella outside? Funny enough, that guy from years ago, I haven't talked to him in years, but he lives in la and we ran into each other and now we're like, oh, speaking of me, Menace always says, I'm best friends with my exes, which I am. Really good friends. We're super good friends now. I'm like, remember that time we banged at Coachella? I talk about that all the time.

Ruled.

Yeah. What's the craziest place you've ever received fellatio?

Probably backstage at a concert. I don't know. Nothing too insane.

Yeah.

Drifting car.

Roadhead. Yeah.

Not that safe.

I don't recommend it.

We gotta borrow somebody's private jet.

And just like, how about my brother's?

Yeah, your brother's jet. And just say, hey, we need it for a second.

I know. No, I mean, we'll see. Okay, so fellatio. But first we got a little sex in the news. You'll appreciate this. Cause it has to do with an Apple product.

Okay. Which, yeah, that's weird. Apple and sex together. That's interesting, isn't interesting? Yeah. Tell me more, please.

Apple adds feature to iOS 9 that lets you track your sex life. You'll soon be able to track how active your sex life is using your phone iPhone. Thanks to a forthcoming update, Apple's iOS 9 will let people track when and how often they have sex, as well as letting women log their menstrual cycle. The company has previously come under fire for ignoring the importance of female customers, and this will be redressed when the revamped health kit rolls out in autumn. Isn't iOS 9 already out?

No, I'm on 8 right now.

Okay. I don't know. Users were able to track how much water they drink. So it's not like everyone's like, becoming like, the Fitbit, right? Like, everything's like that. So UV exposure, how long they sit still for. Mine would be like, you did not sit still once today.

Yeah.

And they're as well as their reproductive health, but they didn't provide further details. They will be able to enter details as, as. Like, when they had sex, when they used protection. But I want to know, like, who's really going to do that? I like the reason why I love the Fitbit. You still have yours on. I lost nine months ago. I love mine. Doesn't it ever fall off? I lost two of them. I'm done. I'm out.

How come you have, like, a small wrist? You probably.

No, it just pops off. Really pisses me off because I loved it. I was like. Because the truth is about the Fitbit, if you all know it does. I'm like, oh, I've only done 5,000 steps today. You know? Like, it makes me want to do more. But I think this is harder because you gotta plug it in. Like, oh, I just had sex. Hold on, honey. Let's write this down.

Yeah, you don't want to write this down.

But then a few weeks ago, we had a sex industry about a mattress. Were you here when we were talking about mattresses that measure your sex life? There's a mattress that's gonna be able to measure how often you've been active. And then it's gonna send you text messages and be like, hey, you should take your partner on a date tonight. Cause you guys haven't banged in a while. You guys should try the doggy style. Everyone wants to track your goddamn sex life. I think there's a crisis with people's sex lives, apparently. And I'm also kind of pissed about iPhones Can I just talk about this for a minute?

Okay. What's wrong?

I think since Steve Jobs died, the iPhone has just gone downhill. Apple products in general, and then we're all true believers and we all love it and everyone buys the iPhone because it's cool and we can imessage. But I think that the droids, Android, Samsung, they're far superior in a lot of ways.

Wow, look at you.

I know. You know, I knew what Android was, but I do.

Yeah, that's cool.

You disagree?

Yeah.

Okay.

Definitely disagree. I think. I think. Okay. And I know, man, because Android not.

Like tech with Emily.

Yeah, but Android users are so hardcore about Android and I know they get upset with that. And I have an Android also, and I've worked with tech startups. I worked at a startup before, moved to Los Angeles and every single app is a subpar version of an iPhone app. It just is. But Androids are great. They have amazing options that iPhones do not have. So I'll give them that.

Okay. Yeah. Like my Kegel Cam app, which is not on Android yet.

I think with the camera wise, these, the newest Samsung is actually the best camera I've seen. That's what I've heard on an iPhone.

It's all about the camera and you're all about your. What is your Instagram Ennis?

Just Menace. M E N A C E. So props on that. But I mean, I went through the apps and the apps are okay, but they finally. I'm like, totally. Android's there with the camera on, that phone is as equal as.

So I mean, I'm not saying there's always like drawbacks, everything, there's pros and cons. But I did just get the six though, you'll be happy to know because I dropped the five in the toilet.

Did your brother get it for you?

No, my brother bought me an iPad once and menace is like, did your brother? No, that's all he's ever bought me.

Oh, really?

Okay, let me think. He's bought me dinners, trips.

Didn't he get you a laptop? Your brother's amazing. I love him, dude.

He got me an iPad. It was really cool.

I want to hang out with him.

I know he's in town right now. You come hang out, but you don't want to. And he loves you too. Dude, how wasted we get. At the Ritz Carlton in San Francisco.

That night we were okay. So couldn't even speak. This is a quick story.

Emily's brother was staying at the Ritz Carlton in San Francisco and he's like he was on like some special. Her brother's like a baller. He's like, right, like amazing. So he was on some VIP floor where they have like a free alcohol.

It's like free open bar that's always open. Food, all you can eat.

It was crazy. I've never seen anything like this before. So we go there and we're just getting hammered, wasted and there's all these classy people dressed up and you know.

Of course we were not one of them.

Yeah, we're like, I'm dressed like a bum and I'm in there and we're just laughing so hard in there. And I just couldn't. I'm like stopping for a second. I'm realizing that everyone is just staring at us because we're just rowdy. And I love your brother. So much fun.

That's why I want you to come with us tonight. But no pressure. I know.

Because I know if I go out with your brother, then I'm just gonna be out all night. And I have on Friday, the next day I have a 22 hour day of straight work.

That's unhealthy.

It is unhealthy, but I have to do it.

You're good though. Did you lose weight?

I've actually been working out every single day for the past month.

Are you menaced? Okay, wait, you've never done that in your life?

I mean, I have not every day.

You look great. I meant to say that when you walked in. Yeah, seriously, I'm really proud of you.

Yeah. I'm training for a marathon. I know.

You have to prepare me for this.

Well, it sucks because you're running. Yeah, I'm running and stuff.

Everyday Running?

Yeah, Every day. Every day for the past like month.

Like, I don't even know. Like, I need a moment. I don't even think. I just.

I just really want to get back to where I was 10 years ago.

When I met you.

10 years ago.

And you keep talking about that. I never thought that I would do.

It, but it just sucks because. Okay, so I'm dying right now.

I can't even speak.

Go ahead, I'll tell you what happened.

I remember when you eat McDonald's every day for a month or whatever or Starbucks or something.

Yeah, it was really easy. Okay. When I was living in San Francisco and I was doing radio, I didn't really do that many events where I'd be out in public and people would see me. So, you know, whatever. Now I moved to Los Angeles and.

I'm part of he's famous. He's on billboards everywhere.

I'm part of a morning radio show called the Woody Show. You can not about boners. It's not about boners or sex. So don't download and think you're gonna hear about wieners and boobies. It's not gonna happen. But the thing is.

It'S getting a really hardcore fan base. And then so I go out all the time and people want to take photos with me. And you know how I like to control the photos. Well, I'm not gonna say, hey, let me take the photos or let me look at the photo. I'm like, oh, yeah, it's cool. We can take a pic. And then people take a pic and then put the social media out there and all that stuff. And then I look at it, I'm like, oh, my God, it looks so bad. It looked terrible.

This is what happens as a celebrity. This is what happens. And then you get anorexic. Don't get anorexic.

No, I'm not getting anorexic. I'm still eating what I want to eat. Look at my Instagram. I'm still not holding back.

But I'm definitely healthy for your longevity.

Yeah. So I definitely want to just, like, at least, you know, do something about it. And then I actually feel way better. So that's cool.

Okay. Awesome. Menace. I'm really proud of you.

Thank you.

It really warms the cotton of my heart.

Anybody that feels like I gotta get.

To emails right now. Yeah, we gotta get to emails.

One second. I know, I know, I know. We'll talk about sucking on wieners in.

A second, but I just want to.

Like, talk about inspiring people. If you feel the same way, just get up and do it every day. I know, it's like, hard. There's days that I don't want to get in the gym and do it. I just do it. And you just start off slow. Don't go from zero to a thousand.

Just start off with 10 minutes a day. Like Michael. Do you remember Michael Moore, the filmmaker? He was like, he started that whole walking thing. He's like, just walk for 10 minutes and then 20. So I'm just really proud of you because this has been a 10 year thing.

All right, let's talk about wieners.

Okay, everyone, thank you for emailing me. Feedbackextwithemily.com and vaginas.

And vaginas.

Listen, people's. You can. Yeah. Feedbackextwitthemily.com I love hearing from you and I also love Even more when you include your name. We can change your name, but where you work, where you live and how old you are. And yeah, how you listen is cool too. We just wanna know how you listen, but really it's how old you are. Okay, ready? And you're where you live. All right. Dear Emily, I came across your website recently and I listened to a handful of your podcasts while on a long drive. Needless to say, I fallen in love with your podcast. Anyway, I'm a 24 year old woman and I'm pretty sure I'm a rarity when I say I love giving blowjobs. The main reason being I get ridiculously turned on by hearing a guy breathe heavy and or moan. And I'm sure it's somehow subconsciously related to my own ego. I guess I'm just curious if this is normal for women. I mean, I know guys really enjoy hearing women get off, but I've never really heard about it the other way around. Thanks, Emily. Sincerely be. I think that's really funny because first of all, I think that women do. Definitely. I love that you're saying this because I've actually been having a debate lately with my friends. This just happened last week where my guy friend was like, I don't think that women do women really like blowjobs. Like, they're always saying, I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth or whatever. They text me that. He's like, but do they really like it? I'm like, yeah, some women do, some don't. But I think women like it. And then I might friend who's got all her married friends, she texted them all and they all said, no, only has birthday. I don't like it, blah, blah. But I'm like, I like it. Like, I don't. So I think it's split. I don't think it's a 50. I don't even know what the split is. But what is your perception? Do you think that women like it in your overall? Like, do you think that they just do it or they like, they just like, do they really enjoy it? What do you think?

I think I agree with you on the 50.

50. Yeah.

Yeah.

I wasn't saying I don't know if it's 50. 50. I want to hear from you guys because I love it.

Mm. I mean, I've never just to do it though.

Like, I remember, like, remember Lyndette? Were you here when Lyndott Carolla was on the show and she was like, I've been with Adam, for 20 years I've never said no, never say no to the BJ. I was like, why would you? It's like a 10 minute thing. It's like I always say it's like flowers for women. Okay, so B, you're totally fine. You are in the zone. That's great. And you realize the magic and the power of the blowjob.

I know. And you keep your man happy.

You keep him happy. And it's great that you love it. Cause it helps you get good at like everything in life. Like, I think that there are a lot of women who don't like it. They might say it's a taste or uncomfortable, but I think a lot of women and men, same with Kunn Lingus, they feel like they just don't know what they're doing or they're not confident. But the only way you're going to get better is that when you keep doing it and then you get the positive moans and the feedback and that totally turns you on. I think that's awesome. Be that it turned you on. So I want to be clear though. It's totally fine for women to enjoy sex as much or if not more than men. So you are not unusual at all. But you are my hero.

Yeah.

Love it.

It was funny. There was this famous actress I draw in a blank, but she would say in interviews, just keep your man drained and fed and you're good and he'll never leave you. He'll be like a puppy dog next to you.

We'll see about that.

Yeah, Full control.

Yeah. It's true though. I mean, it's not that hard and I just build it up with a blowjob would take like 10. I can see. Sometimes oral sex with women maybe takes a little longer, but whatever. Either way, you should go down. Okay. Hey, Emily. First and foremost, I wanted you to know how much I love and appreciate your show. You provide an invaluable service and it's such a pleasure to get insight on sex and relationships from such an intelligent, well spoken, classy woman. I'm classy. Anyway, onto my question. I love giving oral sex. It's so intimate and sexy and there are few things as beautiful. There are few things as beautiful as women climaxing while I'm going down on her. But with the last few women I've slept with, it seems like it only goes on for a few minutes before they want to have intercourse. I'm the type who likes taking his time. So it's making me wonder, would they be hurrying things along because Are they hurrying things along because they're so turned on or because they aren't enjoying themselves and want me to move along? I'd appreciate your input. Thanks again, Sean. Oh, Shawn, I love you. You are my dream man. Thara said it. I wish all men had these feelings about oral sex because there's a really complicated thing going on with oral sex. Because I do believe that a lot of women, there's like different subsets. They're like, he doesn't want to be doing it. Maybe I taste weird or smell funky and he doesn't want to be there. And it's going to take me a long time. So I'm just going to say, let's just have sex. And I think a lot of women can attest to that. And the best thing that a guy, Shawn, if you're into it, the best thing that you can say to a woman. And I'm telling you, I've had guys say this to me and it is like music to my ears when they say, I love doing this. And I could be here all night because then when he's going down on me and he's like, listen, I love this, I want to do this. Lay back, relax, chill. And you're like, oh, it takes all the pressure off because we're always thinking, does he want to. We're looking at the clock. 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Not anymore. I don't do this. But you know, I'm saying, like, settle in, tell me you got some time and you're going to be there. And hopefully she'll relax more. Sean. So I think you got to let him know how much you really want to be there between her legs, pleasing her.

I actually never asked you this in the past 10 years and you've always promoted oral sex. Is it your favorite thing that guys do to you if they know how to do it? Is it your all time favorite?

I think it's, yeah, I'd say it's top, top, top. But how many things are there? Top three.

Then what is your favorite?

I mean, I guess I like intercourse. I like being spanked. No, I like during talk. No, I mean, I really have to say oral sex is probably like one of my top things.

I feel like it is. You've promoted it so much, I hate to.

You know what it is? It's like choosing between like children or something. Like for me, sex is like. Can I say oral sex? But yeah, I love some really good warm up with oral sex if a guy knows how to do it. Or I, you know, and he's into it. Because that's when I'm gonna tell you to come up. That's when I'm gonna say, oh, it's cool to have sex. Cause I know you're not into it. It's just like blowjobs. You don't want to blow drive from a woman who's like, gagging and, like, rolling her eyes and like, it's just.

So, like, no pressure to it at all. They're just doing it just to do it. That is the absolute worst.

Right? The number one tip I always give about oral sex across the board for men and for women, is to be enthusiastic and to be into it. And if you're not, you just gotta fake it.

You might as well not even do it.

Don't even go there. Don't even try it.

Just say, I'm not into it.

Exactly. And there are plenty.

Because then he's just gonna go around and say, oh, she gives terrible blowjobs.

Right. You might as well not even try that. Right? So. But, Sean, it could be happening for a number of reason. Like I said, probably has nothing to do with you. She could be insecure. She might have trouble relaxing. So you could try to do that. She could be sensitive. There's a lot of women who actually are oversensitive. In fact, women who are very orgasmic, multi orgasmic, tend to be women who actually don't like oral sex or it doesn't feel good to them. So. But I can't imagine the last three women you've been with the past few that this is the case. So it's normal to feel insecure that it's about your oral sex skills. Like, we all question ourselves when our partners say no to something or turn away that we think it's us. But I think that you should just, you know, go slower. Every woman's different. And ask her what she wants again. It's always great. Start off slow and just let her know that you are there and you're settling in. You're gonna pitch a tent, hang out for a while. That's all I want. Okay. Hey, Emily. And staff ladies. That would be everyone here. I've been listening for a while.

And I've been listening for a while and now. You know what? Yeah. Okay. Hey, Emily. And safely. I've been listening for a while now and always find the show entertaining and usually find it instructive. Thanks so much for everything each of you do. My wife of 20 years and I have used your valuable information to enhance your sex life and grow even Closer. This brings me to my question. A few nights ago, as I was washing the vomit off my genitals, I realized that my wife might need some help learning to give a blowjob.

That happened to my friend once, but I think it was just because she was drunk. She threw up on us.

That happens too. She only recently has started trying to learn this skill and apparently has a fairly active gag reflex. She's open to learning and I want to encourage her. We bought the Tickle as pickle book you featured on the show and that helped, but she doesn't learn from books.

Would any of you have a beginner friendly video recommendation towards learning this womanly art? Thanks so much. Have a happy season. Holiday season, everyone. Nate from Austin. Okay, Nate, I love this question and I'm gonna get right back to it after I tell you something very important. And that is about massage candles. Because if you want to spice up your sex life and you want to do something different and you want something that feels amazing and will always get your partner in the mood, you should buy a massage candle. I made candles with my partner Tony. They're called Emily and Tony. They're aromatheric. They're amazing, dude, right? They love them. You light it, you let it, you know, we let it go for about 10, 15 minutes or as long as you want, really. You blow it out and then you pour it over your partner's body. And I'm just saying, it is warm, luxurious oil like nothing you've ever felt. But it's not wax. Okay, people. Everyone's like, ah, it's wax. No, it's not messy, waxy, sticky, or hot. It's coconut oil. Nurturing your skin feels amazing. And if your partner is ever not in the mood for sex, boom, they're there. And it just, it spices things up. Massage is always a great gateway to intimacy. And I just think that it's a great addition to your home, to your lovemaking, to the ambiance in your bedroom, and then to your sex life. It will totally ramp it up a level. So check it out, you guys. I would love it. And again, it would help me support the show. And if you go to Emily and Toni anytime, use code Sex with Emily, you get 20% off your first order. That's Emily and Tony dot com. And now until June 14th, you get a free down under comfort, which is another amazing thing. Our down under comfort mattress. Probably using that now that you're exercising more. It's anywhere you sweat intimate areas, you get a free down under. So do that and that code is open up. So down under comfort. If you want a free one, use code openup. Thanks. Okay, let's go back to this oral sex, gagging, vomit on the penis thing. Okay, Nate, here's the thing. I love this question. We have had some feedback in the past that we don't do a lot of tips for women on how to give a good bj. And I know we have, but whatever, we have done it a lot.

Do you think she's just gagging because she's like, just going.

No, I think women. Yeah, she's probably going too far. She sees it in porn. She thinks that that's what men really want. But you don't have to deep throat every time to please him if you have a sense of gag reflex. Here's the thing, is that you can use your hands, you can put it in your mouth, that as long as you have enough pressure on the penis, you don't have to go all the way back there. Plus, the nerve endings that bring the most pleasure is the tip of the penis, the frenulum, which is on the underside of the penis. So if you just like. If you like, keep your mouth around the head so your lips hit the area where the head meets the shaft, stuck gently on the tip. And you use your tongue to place pressure on the underside, the frenulum. So like the underside of the penis where it's your erected. You know what I'm talking about? The point that's pointing down towards your balls, that little area beneath the tip is the frenulum. It's your best friend. It feels really, really good when a woman sucks on it. So she could do that. I mean, I don't know if you're forcing her head in there or if she just thinks she has to, but clearly it's not her thing. And if she's vomiting on you, just tell her to like, really, she could use her hand job, blowjob, combination those two sensations together. I mean, are you ever gonna turn down like a blow with the. They use hands. Women use their hands, the balls, the whole thing.

They need to, though.

They need to. Yeah, you wanna have more pressure. So I think she should just like step away from the deep throat. Although if you do want tips and you're listening and you don't actually vomit, but you wan more. The best thing is to just relax your throat and to breathe before you do it. And you relax your throat and you like, let your tongue fall back and you just like take deep breaths and you can learn to relax it but it sounds like that's just not her thing in this situation. You know, better what feels good for you. So if you teach your partner how to please you, you know, maybe you guys can do mutual masturbation. She knows how you want to be touched, but no more gag reflex for her. And Ticklish Pickle is a great book for anyone who wants to learn about the pickle.

Sweet.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. A to V licking. All right. Hi, I'm 36 years old. I'm writing from Omaha, Nebraska. Is it safe for a man to lick my A and then my V? That would be anus and vagina. For those of you who aren't sorry.

I'm just laughing because there's a song out right now called A to V. No.

Oh, chuffle butter.

Well, not even that. Dude, there's another one that says eat the booty, like grocery. Oh, yeah, there's Nicki Minaj, eat your.

Ass like a cupcake also.

Oh, yeah, it's very popular right now. So trendy.

Just lost my appetite. Not that I don't love sex, but.

Right now I think you go ask the mouth all the time because you never denied that you didn't. Every time I call you, every time I bring it up, you should never.

Go ask to mouth. All right? That's bacteria. It's bad for. You can't go ask the mouth. You can go. No.

I don't know. It seems like.

What do you mean? Oh, do I ever just go to the mouth? Do I ever put my mouth on an ass? Yeah. Is that what you're asking me? Oh, I was thinking we're talking about vaginas and asses. Yeah. Yeah.

But I'm just starting.

No, I don't do that.

Very.

No, I don't. I actually. Can I be honest? Can I be honest? I don't.

Okay.

I don't.

Alright?

And I should and I will.

Finally you made a statement about it because every time I bring it up, you kind of give a giggle like that. Is something going on in your daily life?

I probably should.

I should admit it or just do it.

Let's add it to our project list. No, I mean, I haven't done it that much, to be honest.

Oh, see, you have done it.

I mean, I can't remember the last time.

All right, here's the point. Okay, I knew it.

Did I even get through this email? Jess. Okay, she wants to know. Oh, no, I didn't finish it. Cause you. Fuck you. Listen, she wants to know. The same question goes for me. Licking him and then Going back to a blowjob. Is it risky for me? Can it transmit bacteria? Thanks for the great advice, Jess. Yeah. Yes, Jess, it can transmit bacteria anytime you go from anal to vagina or analog to penis or anal to friggin your turkey sandwich, it is a bad idea because then you're eating bacteria with your mayo. The whole thing, it's not good. Okay, anal. And then you go to the bathroom, you.

So what do you do about that?

This is what you do. If you go anal, then you go and you wash it off. Like you don't. You don't go back and forth. You brush your teeth, you wash your hands, you change the condom. If it's like you're having anal sex, you're going back to vaginal sex. So. So it's really important. So you and your partner should both be showered and totally clean down there before any mouth to anus action. Not that I would know.

I do know.

I'm kidding. I've done it. I just can't remember last time. I'm super busy.

No, I know. I need you to tell me the last time just that you've done it before.

I need the new iOS9 so I can start tracking my anal activity. Is that you haven't licked any anus recently?

Dude, my.

Is it gonna text me and be like anal activity?

Yeah.

You haven't had any anal activity in 14 days.

I know, but do you know what also is crazy? My one of my old co workers said that he had a ex girlfriend that was super into it. Like she wanted to do it all the time.

There's some people, there's guys who are super into it. Everyone, everything's good, you guys, it's all normal, it's all fine.

Giggling because obviously it's funny, but we're not judging you.

No. You guys, people freaking love it.

Yeah. Don't be uptight saying that we're judging.

No. Yeah. Don't email anything angry.

Everyone wants to be offended.

I know, right? Do people just get pissed?

Oh my God. Try being.

You on the air every day.

Because you also are more offensive in nature.

Well, yeah. And then people just. Just like over analyze everything. Jesus Christ. You think that like being offended is people's like full time jobs.

I know. Seriously.

Well, they like have some freaking fun.

I know.

All right.

We love you all. Can't we tell?

Of course.

Okay, so here's the thing, Jess. You and your partner should both be showered. Like I said, be showered for any mouth to anus. Any anus, anything.

Please just do it in the shower.

That's a great way to do it. Then you're insulin. You can wash it off. Right. It's not a good idea to switch from analingus to oral because bacteria. She's totally right. So if you want to engage in backdoor play during Oreo, whether it's during a BJ or while he's going down on you, you can explore using a finger or two. So don't use your mouth. And always, always, always, always, always use lube and wash your hands. And these days with like sanitizer and all those wipes. Like have some wipes by your bed. Like, I have wipes by my bed. I have a lot of things.

What kind of wipes?

I have like those. I have like sex toy cleaners. I don't know. They're just regular wipes I got at the grocery store. Is.

Your nightstand is full of stuff. Just like lubes.

I really. I would love to ask my intern Lori here to come over and clean up my sex toys, but I'm not going to because you have to wear surgical gloves.

And it's like really embarrassing as bat too.

Here's the problem. There's probably, and no joke in my bedroom, 200 vibrators. And the problem is they're all rechargeable, but they're tucked away. Okay. Oh, dear.

Electricity bill. Must be.

But they're not all charged. But the problem is these vibrators these days, they don't come with like, this is a fun factory vibrator. This is a Vibratex. Then you gotta match the cords with the. I don't freaking know which goes with which. I didn't have a label maker out when I was masturbating. Charging it. What? I realized that the problem is I'm gonna get back to Analangus in a minute. Is it my house is not only not kid proof, it's not date proof. So I had this date come over.

A few weeks ago and he slipped on a dildo.

Literally. Yeah, I'm like, oh my God, I forgot there was one charging in the bathroom. I mean, I need a full on hour to hide. I've got a wedge.

Oh, man.

Thank God the Sybian's not set up yet. Because I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do with that. Like, it's really like, it's not date proof at all. It's a problem.

I'll set up the Sybian, I promise.

Will you?

I swear.

Okay. Awesome. Then you and your girlfriend come use it.

I just wanna see what it looks like it's awesome.

I mean, it's got 500 heads to it. You guys are gonna die. We're gonna do some videos on it.

All right.

Okay. So anyway, backdoor play. Here's the deal. The lining of your anal activity is very thin. And so it does not provide enough lubrication. That's why I'm always saying whenever you are having anal sex, even if you're using your fingers, you wanna use lube, not your saliva. So all that spitting you see in porn and stuff, that's also bacteria. That's not safe. So nothing should go near your back door. Toys, fingers, penis, anything should go back there and then in your vagina, on your vagina, any of that. So keep wipes all that stuff by your bed like I do. I can never find them buried under toys. All right, we've got some oral sex. We've got some more things about oral sex. Are we good here, people?

A few minutes.

We're having a good time here. Okay. Dear Emily, I love the show. Okay, here's a. I love performing oral sex on my lady friends. Here's the caveat. My orgasms are not as intense without it. And I recently started sleeping with someone who insists that I gargle after going down on her. And it completely takes me out of the mood. I'm not opposed to the taste. She really is clean. So why must I gargle after? Is that a thing to do?

He goes down to her and she's.

Like, don't make out with me.

Wow. We never hear about that.

I know. You always hear the guy who's like, you just swallowed my jizz. Brush your teeth. Some guys do that. Yeah. And it's offensive, which is weird, but whatever.

It's not just your own jizz. It's not like some other guy's, you know?

Yeah. Cause that would be really weird.

Yeah.

Okay. So you should just, you know. So why must I gargle after? Is that a thing to do? Ask going downtown now to go and rinse my. Is that a thing to go downtown and then rinse my mouth? Should I suck it up and mentally get back into the game? Like it's pissing him off. He's like, I just gave you an orgasm and now you want me to go to the bathroom and get out of the moon? Gargle. But I guess it's not unusual because women are always self conscious. And men about their penis and about their taste, of how they taste down there. I think for men, they're thinking, like, not even Just, like, I think for women, they're like. I think it's the same thing. They think that they're not gonna taste good. Like, thank you for going down there, but I don't want anything to do with it. For their hygiene, because we're always wondering if we're clean or not. And I have to admit that there have been guys I've been with who it's been a while since the guys been like, don't kiss me. But I also don't try to. For. I'm not, like, trying to, like, make out with them right after I swallow their semen. But. But I do understand this. And obviously he's probably one of these guys who's okay with her kissing him after fellatio. But if it's a deal breaker, I would bring it up. Or just. Why doesn't he just put some of those breath strips by your bed instead of having to get out of bed? Or just keep some mouthwashed by the bed poured into a cup? I mean, the thing is, I don't think this should trip him out as much as it. I mean, I think we can put an end to this. I think that you could, like, split the difference if it freaks her out and you still want to make out. Like, put a breath strip in your mouth or, like, drink some water. Because for me, like, after, if I. Let's say I swallow, I'll drink some water, and then, you know, it's all good. We're all fine. Like, you're not gonna get sick from it. But he's offended, and it takes him out of the mood. Has this ever happened to you with a girl?

No, that's just weird. No, I think I always hear that with guys, though, you know?

But why is it. Why are guys so freaked out and girls typically aren't.

I don't know. Because guys are weird, too, and it's hard to understand things like that.

I've had guys who are like, I want to taste my jizz.

Or maybe.

And then I called Uber. Just kidding.

Well, maybe also, like, maybe she had a bad past experience. You know, something with her own.

Yeah, maybe she had a bacterial vaginosis or something and someone down on her yeast infection.

Or. I don't know.

I don't know. All it takes is really one guy.

To be like that.

Like, you're disgusting down there. Or like, things are not so fresh and it just. You're telling me. Yeah, you are finished for life. It's true. Or some guy tells you you got a small penis in the locker Room at a young age. I mean, if anyone insults your genitalia across the board, it will stick with you for life. So that could be it as well. So, Sean, nothing wrong with talking to her and saying, you know, is that Sean, right? I think you. Jason. Yeah.

Just say, hey, do I. Do I really need to go do that right now?

Right. Like, I think you taste great. It tastes like flowers.

Sean, I also find it kind of weird that you're even Jason. It's Jason.

Yeah, whatever.

I thought you just said Sean.

I did. It was a mistake a couple ones ago. Corrected it.

My bad. Jason.

I do find it kind of weird, like you're getting laid.

Who cares?

You're a guy, you know what I'm saying?

I know, but he's sensitive about it.

Guys don't really care or sensitive or care about this kind of stuff.

No.

So, you know, if that's just something like something she had a bad experience in the past and that's what she really wants to do to get through it. You know what? You're still getting laid. There's a billion guys out there not getting laid that it would be happy to fucking go. Use a mouthwash.

They go to the grocery store. Yeah. Dinner.

They would walk 50 miles to their house. To the chick's house.

You know, joke, man.

Who cares? But yeah, at least talk to her at least once. And if she says that's what she likes and just stick with it, there's a lot worse things that she would make you do.

Exactly. Thank you, Madness. It's been a wonderful show and thank you everyone for listening. Here's the dealio. You should come find me if you want more going down tips. You should join me at the Hustler workshop. And if you're not in Los Angeles, it's. What is it? June 23rd? Tuesday. But we're gonna be doing this around the country, so if you live anywhere that you would like me to come speak. People have been emailing me about this lately. And you can arrange it and somehow find a way to pay for it. We can figure out a way to make it happen. I would love to come and start speaking with you all everywhere but. Or come out to LA and say hi. Thank you so much. Madison producing for the show. And thank you to Lori, my intern. Thank you, Madness, as always for being here out of your busy day, your schedule. I know you're super famous and I'm building a. But I love it and I love you, honey, so much. And also. Yeah, review us on itunes. Like we said we Love that. And one more thing. One more thing. I'm gonna ask you one more thing before I go follow this three. Follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram with Emily. I love you all. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com here's the deal, everyone. I know that your sex life could be a little bit better. Not better, but maybe just different. Maybe you want to mix things up. Maybe you are a woman who is with a man who does not last long enough in bed and you'd like to, I don't know, have an orgasm during intercourse. Maybe. Well, if your guy doesn't last long enough, he can definitely check out Permesant. It's a quickly absorbing delay spray that allows you to have the sex you want and last longer in bed. Let's say you're a guy that lasts five minutes. If you use Promescent and you put it on your penis, you will last 10 minutes. And your partner doesn't have to know it absorbs. If you wait 10 minutes, she won't know. But you know, why keep secrets? Hey, she'll just be happy. You'll all be happy. Orgasms for everyone. Check out Permethin. It's the only FDA approved.

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