From Mouth Parties to Bedroom Parties with Kandi Burruss

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Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by Candi Burruss, star of the popular Real Housewives of Atlanta and creator of the female centric bedroom candy line. I've got menace here. Oh, God. You're gonna love this show. Thanks for listening.

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. have you not been there lately? Oh my God. You gotta check it out. You guys know we are updating with amazing content all day, every day so you can have better sex just like this show. And we make it easier than ever to subscribe. You can subscribe to everything. Our newsletter, social media, which is Sex with Emily across the board. And most importantly, subscribe to the podcast. We love that and we love hearing from you. And you can also shop the store. God, there's so much happening. I'm excited for the show. Hello, Menace. Hello.

How are you doing?

I'm great. How you been?

I have been great. Traveling all over San Francisco, our old hometown. Yeah, we're. Where else have I been? I don't even know.

I don't even know.

So anyways, yeah, I'm going to go do some more traveling. But thank you everybody that's been embracing the new station that I'm on in St. Louis, alt 1049. Tune in Monday through Friday, 6 to 10am and also here in Los Angeles, the woody show on alt987. So many sex with Emily listeners, they listen to both shows.

It's crazy. I know. I love that. Right? They get a little sex. They get a little medicine in the morning.

It's crazy. We got to get you back on the show.

I want to come on the show. That was fun. I want to steal your.

Your.

Your ch there. She had an orgasm yet or what?

No, she hasn't. She needs you to save her.

Okay, let's bring Candy. And we got. Okay. If you don't know Candy, because if you've been living under a rock, which is totally fine. There's a lot going on in the world today. But Candy is amazing. She has a Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Yes.

For what, ninth season right now?

Well, it's been on for nine seasons, but I'm on. I've been on for eight.

Okay.

Yeah. I came in on season two.

Okay. I feel like you've been there. You're, like, the most memorable. I mean, I don't know if I think about you. I think Real House of Atlanta. Singer, songwriter, acclaimed music producer, killer businesswoman. Congratulations to you.

Thank you.

Just keeps growing and growing and kicking ass. And you were. So you're a returning guest to the show. You were on about five, six years.

Ago at the time.

We were in San Francisco at the time, and you were just launching your beautiful bedroom candy line. Which is funny because I always joke. It's actually a real. But I joke about it because people probably don't believe me that I literally have, like, storage units filled with just sex toys. I get very nostalgic about them. But I remember you brought me. It was, like, five products. The lipstick, it was so beautiful. You had really great products, and now you have, like, a thousand products. I'm exaggerating.

It's really grown.

Yeah.

Yeah. We've grown, like, so much since when we first started. Like, I can't even believe it myself sometimes when I look at all the. All the products that we have and.

Everything we're doing, I know it's pretty. And then you have, you know, you've just, like, mobilized troops around the country.

Well, we have bedroom Candy Boutique consultants. So basically, you know, people who will come to you and bring the parties. You, you know, you just invite your guests, and then we just help you have a great party. So that's, you know, and then, you know, of course, we, you know, have the products there for you to check them out and learn more about them. It's. It's fun.

I love that we're. Because we're going to get. Get more into that later, because I would just love to hear about that. Because I feel like, well, we. The reason why we just dived into this because we're saying sex is every. People want more information about sex. You know, we got the podcast people can listen to. Where else do people go for sex information? I'm not sure where they go. Besides here. You might.

This is where you get the truth. I mean, if it's on tv, it's kind of, you know, you don't really have anything out there.

Right. And it's like wherever you go. Like, literally, like, I just was getting a facial before, which is why my face is super red. You might probably were not thinking that, but I'm just saying. But she was like, I never met her. I'm like, I'm super red. I'm super red. But she said to me, me. And it just. You probably get this too. She's like, wait, you do what? Can I ask you a question? You know, and everyone's got a question. And she's like, my libido just isn't what it was. I'm like, okay, well, you're asking me one of the top, you know, five questions I get, you know, probably every single day. And it's just, you know, here she is, like, you know, a nurse. She's been, you know, she lives in la. But there's really. People don't feel comfortable talking about it. There's not a lot of places to go for it. So what I love about the parties that you do is that. That it is like women coming together and they're sitting and they're talking and it's comfortable.

Yeah, it's very comfortable. And then, I mean, people can't. A lot of people don't even understand, like, a majority of women haven't even had an orgasm ever. So to be able to, you know, get tips from, you know, a group of your friends that you feel comfortable with, or, you know, you have this consultant there to answer any questions that you may have and tell you the right products that can help you get it.

Exactly.

So, I mean, if you watch Candy on television, she's never been shy about her.

Of course, that's like my favorite subject.

Right? I love that. So how did you. So for people who don't know, maybe they haven't watched her. How did you get into that?

Real Housewives, actually, Derek J. I don't know if you guys know him. He used to. I think they had him when Kim Zolciak used to be on. He used to do her hair for her sometimes, but he used to do my hair, too. But he was a friend of mine and he had told me, he was like, yeah, they looking for, you know, new housewives. He was like, I'm gonna tell them your name. Cause they need somebody with their own money. And I was like, huh? What are you talking about? So that's how it all began.

Okay.

He introduced me to them and, I mean, I guess they wanted to interview me and they. They chose me. And I was like, okay, cool. But I had no idea that this was really going to be something that I would do for so long. I just was like, okay, I'm down for a shower.

You still like doing it?

The shooting part is not it. We just did it.

It could be intense.

Yeah. Because I. Well, this is what I want to ask you. I'm sure it's very stressful to live through everything twice.

Exactly.

It's crazy in the moment. And then it gets put on television and then you gotta wait. And then everybody else has their feedback and they're chiming in. So you have to live through everything like that. And then the media and, you know, every, you know, entertainment blog and all that kind of stuff has to chime in. And then they wait for you to respond and things like that.

Yeah, it's very stressful, especially when you're the person who has, you know, a big drama or something bad or crazy happens. It's like, you know, you dealing with it at that moment, and then you have to deal with it again when it airs. And then you have to deal with it again when we review it at the reunion.

At the reunion shows. Right? Yeah. And you're like, it will never die. Like, usually just have drama with someone and you be healed and it's gone.

And everyone twists everything that you say.

Yes.

Everything.

Yeah. I mean, we're not at your level at all. You're at a much higher level of, like, the. The people that have the eyes on what. Everything that you say. But even at this level, it's just like any little tiny thing, you'll get a tweet about how you're a horrible person.

Exactly. I can't even. I can't even. I can't even read them. Do our best.

It hurts. I tell you to delete the emails all the time.

I know.

Really, I delete. They. They say crazy stuff to you.

Not as bad. I mean, honestly, like, she pronounced that word right. What do people say?

They hate on sex?

People hate on everything. Come on. People like to hate on everything. But I gotta say, for doing this for 11 years, I. I don't think we get a lot of. We don't get a ton of hate. But I'm also not interacting in a way where there's, like, drama. I'm like, try to help you all have goddamn orgasms during intercourse if you can. Or talk to your partner about sex. So there's not. But every once in a while, people are like, slow down. You talk too fast, or whatever it is.

But, you know, that's random stuff.

Random, random, random. We were gonna do. So we do a little sex in the news little segment here, which I had a very warm spot in my heart about this one. Just do. Well, that Menace, it reminded me of you.

Okay. What? I'm sure it's bad.

So Candy, little background. Is that I. So we were saying that I started this podcast when you came in, like, in 2005. And I really was just doing it because I was, like, I said, had had the best text in my life. I mean, it got better by then, but I thought, there's gotta be a place, like, where we could all learn from each other. And I just started interviewing people about their sex lives or relationships. So I started a podcast in my living room. And then six months later, I get a call from CBS Radio in San Francisco. They were starting the station called Free fm. It was FM talk. And they said, do you want to do your show live? I was like, sure. You know, I've never done that, but, wow, that wasn't even a goal, but I'll go in. And so what I didn't know was that there's not, you know, FCC regulations. There's a lot of stuff you can't say on the radio. So my first show or my second show was about masturbation. Well, this kid Menace was starting out. He was.

Yeah, I was. I was in control of the dump button.

The dump. 11 years ago. So Menace was, like, sleeping at the station, building his way up. Now he's on billboards in la, and he's grown up proud of him. But the show, I was like, what do you mean? I can't say masturbation. They're like, no, like, once every 15 minutes maybe. But you got to come up with some other words for it, like euphemism. So we started doing. So now there is a. Our sex and the story has to do with masturbation euphemisms.

Oh, nice.

That's the background. Here are the greatest masturbation euphemisms from around the world. Here in America, we're pretty creative with our masturbation euphemisms. As you've probably noticed, this is probably because there are literally no synonyms for masturbation. So here's what they say in other countries.

Sweden, wax the salami. Russia, greeting the unemployed. Can you somehow break this down for me?

I have no idea.

Romania, shake hands with the president.

I like that.

Are you like, hey, babe, I gotta go. I'm just gonna go shake hands. The president, like, does. That's not even sexy. I don't even know. Finland, to play the leather bassoon. Would they be okay? There's then CBS radio. They totally would have been fine. Japan, a thousand rubs.

France, milk the cow.

Now that that's normal.

Thailand, pulling on a kite string.

So on terrestrial radio, we can't say blowjob. So what we say is mouth party.

She was giving me a mouth party.

That's good. That's good. But see, on Loveline, that was. That was after Loveline, we were able to. I was, you know, Loveline. I was. The last four years. I was hosting it when I moved to LA. It just went off the air after 35 years.

But what I try to explain to.

You, you can say blow.

Say blow jobs. When you. You know, when you have somebody, a doctor, A doctor, like Dr. Drew, like, you can get away with saying things like that.

You say mouth party, which actually it is a mouth party for some. For others, not so much.

It's a mouth. I like it.

I like blow jobs, too. Oh, you like mouth party.

It's a mouth party.

Come on, let's have a mouth. So in Atlanta, you know, I mean, every different city has their own, you know, type of slang. You know, what would. What would you say if. Oh, is there anything out there that we don't know about?

That's what I'm trying to think. Is there?

I mean, it doesn't have to be masturbation.

I mean, you mean. Oh, like, pop your cherry.

Dang. Like, my mind is going Blake right now.

That's what happens to me when I get put on the spot.

Yeah.

It's like, I hate being put on the spot. Don't put me on the spot. But so anyway, that was a little news because it reminded me of you. But. And so my question is, what about though, when you said you're always been to sex.

Oh, wait. Oh, the box.

The box.

Yeah. Your vagina is the box.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

That's normal, right?

Oh, yeah. No, it isn't. There one, like beat the beat box or beating the box or.

No, that's actual, like.

Yeah.

I know.

I'll Give you a G if you beatbox right now.

But isn't there a. But isn't there a box? Yeah. Euphemism that we've done in our list of you. I don't know. It is called a box though. Sure thing.

It's hot.

How is it though? So you've always been open to sex. So on this, do you feel like how is it greeted by your like family friends? You're really gifted. I mean now you're, you're so out there now. I know.

Well, I mean as far as like I feel like my family over in general, like on my mom's side of family, everybody has always been open minded. Like we used to when I was younger, like not way younger but like, you know, by the time I was 20, like we would have strippers come over for the birthday parties and baby showers and stuff like that.

Okay, Right.

Yeah. So just like my house.

Right. Okay, that's good. That's. You know what you gotta someone's needs. That person in the group that's always open. Were you always that you that girl though? Like helping your friends?

Oh no, yeah, I definitely was that girl. Like I, you know, I was the, the, the fast when that, you know, I was always looking at the nasty movies early. You know how when your cable box used to you could like wiggle something in there, kind of like straighten up the channel? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He used to try to look at the, the porn channels.

Yeah. But you know, and my friends and we at one point when I moved out of my mom's house, we used to have like all our friends used to bring the porn. The new porn videos over. Like, oh, did you see this one? Yeah.

I was the worst group of friends.

Yeah, well, you know like. Yeah, like if you had a porn like you could tell your friends about it or whatever and, and you know, we used to talk about. I used to have know all the great nasty jokes.

Right.

You know, or any type of tip that I had heard. Like. Oh, you know, if you get some.

Like halls or whatever and you give head, it's right. Yeah.

Do you guys have any stuff like that in your line that flavored. You guys have like a lot of. Right. Can we talk like flavored lubes and stuff, right?

Oh yeah, we got flavored lubes. We have I. A nipple. We call it kiss and tingle. But it's like different flavored. Like creams you can put on the nipples and it tingles and it's great and it's flavors.

Wait, why don't I know. So. Okay, can we put some on my nipples right now? Maybe later.

So, you know, there's a lot of. Because some women, they can orgasm.

Raspberry nipples.

Yeah.

Yep.

Wow.

Or you can put it on your lips too.

It was crazy.

You go give a blow job so it tastes better. Is that what you're putting?

Well, yeah, yeah. No. Some people just like to put it on their lips.

It tingles.

Yeah.

Can we have a tingle party right now and open this?

Okay, let's do it. A tingle party.

I love everything nipples because I just. I've never had a nipple orgasm.

You have it?

No. Have you?

Apparently I haven't had a full nipple orgasm, but I've got. It's gotten me very close.

Okay. Yeah, I. That's like a goal.

But you know what? I'm kind of weird because, like, okay, everybody in my life, you know, I'm married now, but you know, prior to. Some people will pass, you know, relationships, collect my nipples and it didn't do anything for me. And then some people do it and it's just. Oh, it seems to tingle up and down your spine.

Right. You know, it could be chemistry. It could be. Because they're not lapping it like a dog, but they're.

Yeah.

The building around the nipples, breathing on it. So what? Okay, let's go back to what you were just saying. So this bedroom candy. I need glasses. It's a whole new thing. It's really fun. It's a whole new fun part of my life. So it's. Oh, tingle lip and nipple balm. Oh, my God, I love this. So you put it on. So it's tingles, but then if someone blows on it, it's even more enhanced. But you could use it on your own too.

Yeah, yeah. But it's great.

Oh my gosh.

But it is. It is so crazy just to go back, like, go back to the nipple orgasm. Well, to nipple orgasm. Yeah. You know, some women can orgasm from that. But I just want to say just. Just a line in general. When we first met you and you had a couple items like I. I walked in and just, you know, there's a whole table of stuff. Do you have some favorites that you want to shout out?

Yes, I do have a favorite. Well, I have many favorites.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But okay. Of course, I always love our candy kisses, which is the lipstick that's kind of like a go to for anybody.

That is my go to. I buy that for gifts for friends. It is just because it's incognit. Actually looks Like a lipstick.

Yeah, it really does. And.

And it's powerful.

It's powerful. It has many. It has different settings that you would love. And then, you know, for people who have kids, you know. You know, you don't have to worry about them finding ends, being like, oh, my God. You know, it's real easy to be discreet with.

My lips are tingling.

Oh.

Does anyone blow on them?

That's cool.

My other favorites is the turbo. It's one of our newer ones.

Oh, I don't know. It.

It's strong. It's a little thick, and I just love it.

It's. It's. It's insertable. Like G stock.

Yes, insertable.

Okay.

And then I also love the cuddle because it has a little curve to it, so I love that one. And, you know, I mean, the. The happiness and joy is always one of my favorites because it vibrates to music.

Yeah.

So, you know, if you really want to be adventurous.

Oh, I love that. That. Yeah.

Some of the non Vibe products that we have that I think are great. Like. Okay, they're gonna show on the Housewives this on the next episode, where Todd and I are having, like, a little fun time.

Nice.

We bring out the bedroom candy body chocolate. It's chocolate body paint. And basically, we give you the brush with. Along with it. But you can warm the chocolate up, and you can, like. I. I like it when he kind of paints his name or whatever he wants them and licks it off. It is so good. Yeah. So good. Or either. Like, our candles. I always tell people you have to have our melting massage oil candles because it goes straight from. You know, you light them up. We call them light my fire. You light them up. We have different flavors. And when it melts, you can pour it directly on the skin, and it won't burn.

Right. People think it's waxy and hot.

Yeah. It's not. It turns into massage oil, and you massage it in, and it feels so good, you can lick it off. It's just so great.

Oh, my God. And you test them all out first.

Yeah. Okay. I'm the masturbator tester.

Exactly, Sam. I got it. That's hot. See, it's foreplay. That's what we need.

Okay, So I knew. I know that Todd knew you a little bit before you guys started dating. Did he embrace all this stuff right away?

That was my next question, too.

Or was he a little scared? I'm telling. I'm keeping 100. I would be scared. I'll be a little. When he started busting out the whole line.

No, I think that he had some, some chicks who probably were freaky. Freakier than I was before he met me. So he was open.

He was all about it.

Yeah, he was all about it.

It's almost like he can't be with someone who's not at this point. Right. In life.

I would be bored if I did not have a man who was, you know, kind of open minded to trying things in the bedroom. Like, definitely.

Right.

Like even like when we first did our. Our helping hand, which is like, you know, our. What do you call that for other companies where, you know, it's the man. Oh, the man. He could insert himself. Yeah, yeah. The masturbations leave. Right. Okay. Well, ours is called helping Hand. Okay. So when we first I wanted to try it out. So I put a little by lube in it. And see, ours has a hole on both sides. So as I'm using it on him and giving him a helping hand, I also have my mouth on the other end, so I'm able to catch the other side.

Right.

Right. It's like a blow job helper. Yeah, I'm sure. Right?

Yeah. So for women who have a problem with catching their man's come in their mouth.

Right.

They can catch it inside the sleeve and it would still feel good to him.

It feels like it's happening. You know what I thought you were gonna say there and you're comfortable talking about this stuff. But a question I get asked all the time, especially at Thanksgiving dinner, which was interesting with a generation of women. I was with a bunch of friends. It was like a grandmother, a mother, a daughter, and they were like, blowjob. So exhausting. Like, I just want it to be over with. My jaw hurts. Duh. Right. Do you get asked that? They're like, I don't want to do it. It's not just the taste, it's everything.

Right, but see, that's the problem. If you don't like doing it, then you're not going to be good at it.

Yeah.

But that's why I also told people who don't like giving master, I mean, a blowjob to their man, they definitely need to get like our bedroom candy helping hand. Because then you could play, you know, play with his parents. Only you don't have to totally suck the whole time. And he's still into it. He feels good. And you know, and you know, you could. It gives you something.

A hack. It's like a blowjob hack.

Yes, yes.

Yeah.

But for me, I love to do It. I love to get my man, and he loves it, and it's great.

Right? That's good. Right? You're fine.

But.

But. Right, exactly.

You got super happy now.

But it is kind of the top things. What are the other. I'm so always wondering, because it's so nice to talk to another woman who's in this world of sex, but what are some of the. The questions that come up, like, maybe at the parties or just in your life? Like, is there, like, a common question that when your girlfriend's like, candy got to talk to you about blank. Like, what comes up lately?

Well, I mean, speaking of. Okay. Well, we just talked about giving kids, but receiving it.

Yeah.

I had a friend who actually told me that she did not like when her man gave her oral sex.

Yeah.

I said, that's because he doesn't know what he's doing. It's no way you're speaking to Emily's.

Heart, by the way.

Yeah. No.

If a woman is all about it.

I'm all about oral.

Come on. You got to be like, okay, at this point, you might need to try somebody out.

Right.

Or how about you get some, you know, educational tools? Or listen to sex with Emily so she can tell you exactly where you need to go with this.

Right.

Because, you know, you have. I mean, to me, oral sex is just part of foreplay. Like, that's a natural part of foreplay.

Right.

And I hate when people are not open to it, you know?

Right. And so the women. So for. I hear that from women all the time. Like, in fact, recently a friend was like. She's like, I used to love it. She's been with her husband for a while now, probably 20 years. She's like, you know, I used to love it, but now I just like, oh, when he goes down there, it just doesn't feel good anymore. And I think there's so much about. She's probably stressed about the kids and, like. Like, you got to kind of relax into your. I know, but it's like, it's gonna take a while.

No.

Okay.

This is why. This is when it doesn't take a while. And that's why I say, like, for me, like, I love to have, like, either candy kisses or even, like, a. Like, the other one I was telling you about, the turbo.

Right.

Like, I like to have a vibe inserted in while he's licking my clip.

Right.

It. When I tell you, it's like, oh, right. It's like heaven opened up its doors, and I floated up.

It will definitely make it go by quicker and faster. So for say for instance, if you are somebody who doesn't like giving oral sex to a woman and but you know that's what your woman likes.

Right.

Then it would help you to have a toy in and insert it in while you give an oral sex. Because it will make it go by really quick.

Right.

And she'll just melt.

Exactly. Or, and also you could use a clitoral toy. But he could still be using his fingers and also use a clitoral.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Right. And then so anything just use a toy.

A toy.

Yeah, something. And I think some women too. And this goes back to the. And I think again this is why I love the idea of having group parties. I've been wanting to do them. Like I was even talking to people, I was like, we should do one here. Because my friends always like can I come look at your. Because that whole closet behind you is like filled with toys.

Well, we should join up and have a party together.

I would love. Cuz I'm just like I really. Cuz I truly my heart. Thank God. After 11 years, I want to help every single woman. Like I'm at the dry cleaner, I'm like, even at an orgasm. Can I bring you back a toy? Like I want to help people, but I feel like a lot of it is self confidence. And there's a lot of women who don't have that confidence in their body. They don't feel sexy. There's still insecurities about they might not want oral because they think that something's wrong down there.

No, no, no, no. As long as you keep it clean and it smells good. Okay, let's work with it. Now if it doesn' good or it doesn't, you know, you might need to go and get it checked or whatever.

Right.

And we also have other products that are good, you know, body safe products that will keep you clean and fresh.

Right.

Okay so. But with that being said, I feel like if you are a person who's insecure about your look, if you are there with somebody who wants to be with you, stop being insecure. Because there are girls who are drop dead gorgeous. Who doesn't. They don't have anybody. You are there with somebody who wants to be with you at that moment.

He's there, he's not thinking, oh that, that lip is a little.

Exactly. And I'm telling you, I mean sometimes I feel like, you know, my body isn't where I want it to be or whatever. Whatever. And so what? Who cares? He's still Loving it. It feels good to him. And I'm gonna give it to him. Like, I know it's the best thing. Popping.

Exactly.

That's what makes it sexy. If you come in the room and you're confident and you feel like. Like you're putting it down, then he's gonna feel like, exactly.

You gotta just.

I've said it forever. Like, guys are so simple, you know? Like, don't overthink. Like they're not thinking about so many things that you're thinking.

No, no. We're so worried he's gonna notice. I got this little dimple here. 1. My left breast is bigger than my right. You're in bed with him. He's really turned on right now. And that's the last thing. He's waiting for your lips to get around his penis and he's waiting for inside you.

Exactly. And come with the best trick. Hello. Come with the best tricks. Give the best head. Ride the best dick. You know, you just gotta be good.

That is a good. That is a good. When we come back, we're taking a quick break. I want to hear your best tricks. Okay, Big shout out to our sponsors. Thank you everyone for supporting our sponsors. We love you. And we'll be right back with Candy's best BJ tricks. I love it.

I've got the solution to a problem that more than 30 million women encounter in their life. I bet you know what it is. You've probably experienced it yourself. I know I have. And I know at least some of you have because you email me about it all the time. Yep, it's your ever changing libido. Did you guess it? Not too long ago, I introduced you to Fiera, a brand new consumer device designed by a team of medical professionals to help women concerned with changes in libido or sexual arousal. The makers of the product asked me to try it for myself and experience its natural approach to sparking arousal, which I did. But we'll get to that in a second. The first thing you should know, Fiera is a one of a kind product that gently stimulates the clitoris with mild suction. It's not a vibrator or pleasure product, so it's not made to bring you to orgasm. Just gets you warmed up for intimacy with a partner or for solo play. You simply position it over your clitoris and the mild suction holds it in place using a soft silicone seal. After a few minutes, the pressure begins to enhance blood flow, a major factor needed to turn you on physically and mentally. This product really works I mean, it's been studied and tested more than any other consumer product I know of. 89% of women in their study reported to be in the mood after using fear regularly. 93% felt they were excited and ready for sex. And a whopping 96% said they were looking forward to being intimate again. How do you like those numbers? Based on my own experience, I can tell you that the study results don't lie. I felt the same way. I've definitely noticed a spark in my arousal since I've been using it. But like a good exercise routine, you have to give it a chance to feel the results. I recommend you use it at least four times in the first month to really feel the benefit. FIRA is perfect for women who are looking to increase their sexual arousal without drugs or hormone therapy. It's safe, easy to use, and for a limited time, Sex with Emily listeners can save $50 on a Fiera of their own. To order, click on the Fiera banner on my website or visit fiera.com that's F I E R A dot com and enter code SWE2016 at checkout. This discount is only good until December 31st, so don't wait. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We are back with Candy Burris from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. And she's got her candy line, Bedroom candy. Okay, let's talk about the. Let's talk about riding it and doing it, right? And some. Some of the best tricks. You said women got to come armed with tricks.

Yes, I do think. I mean, you want to keep things spicy and new and different. You don't want to get monotonous because it gets boring. You want to just sometimes do something unexpected. Okay, so.

Okay, I. And this is one that I personally loved when it was done to me before, you know. Okay, so this is something simple. Let's say you run him a bath, right? But you tie something, blindfold him. Then you bring in a tray, and it has to have like, a cup of whipped cream, a cup of chocolate, and a cup of caramel. And then you have, you know, different fruit, right? So you could dip a piece of banana in the chocolate and feed it to him. He doesn't know what's coming. Then you dip the strawberry and whipped cream and feed it to him. Then you dip something else and, you know, another fruit in there, and you feed it to him. The next thing, you dip your finger in the chocolate and put it in his mouth, and he's like, whoa, what was that? That was not Fruit.

Right.

Okay. Then you go back to the fruit, and then you come back with the nipple that's covered in the cream.

Oh, my God.

So he's like. It's like a surprise. Every time something comes in his mouth, it's something that's a surprise.

Wait, I love this tip.

This is.

This is so good. Because I'm always talking about blindfolds, but I'm always saying doing by the bed with, like, maybe some ice and different sensations. But I love the fruit and the dipping and the. Can you use your chocolate candy chocolate sauce?

Yes, you can. I mean, the bedroom candy body paint. You can use the chocolate sauce for anything because it's. It's edible, it's vegan friendly. Okay. All of our products. The products are. So check it out. But yeah, it's. It's something that's easy to do, and then you're.

It's something. It's really just about variety and doing something different. Like, how many guys have had that done to them? Like, not a lot.

Probably not. And then the other one, like, feed me pizza.

Do a pizza. And then Taco Bell.

I'm not sure if you've heard this one before, and. But I. I told somebody else this recently. It's like, you could take, like, either a peach or you can take a pineapple, but you just cut it all around, shave it around and then cut a hole in the center.

Okay.

Warm it up a little and stick it. When you're giving your man head, you stick his penis in the middle of the fruit and you use it just like you would use the helping hand. You'll, you know, jack him off with it while you're giving him head.

Wow.

And so it tastes good because it's sweet. So, like, let's say we use the pineapple. You're sticking his. He's sticking his dick inside of a warm pineapple, and you're giving him head with it.

Wow.

It's great, right?

I thought, like, it might have been Atlanta thing, George's peaches. You know.

You know about a pineapple? You know, just make sure it's not too hot when you warm it up.

No. Right? You don't want to do it too hot. That's amazing. So because it tastes good, because you're not that I support it, you'd want a pineapple bj.

Well, I'm sure, because you've warmed it up. I'm sure it's just. It. It feels really good.

Yeah.

Again.

But if you don't warm it up.

Too much because, you know it makes it first.

Yeah.

It makes the fruit get a little soft, so it's easy to mold around his penis. And you just.

Right. And you could just use it and go up and down. And then it tastes good. If you're like. If you don't love the taste of a semen, for example, it will taste like pineapple.

Yeah.

At the end, you just get some juices in it. Those are some good tips. I agree. Just update your toolkit. Yeah, like, update. You know, it doesn't take much. Like, if you've been with someone for a while and you keep kind of. We all kind of fall into our ruts. We're doing the same things. And you do. One day you show up with a warm peach.

Yeah.

You get points there.

Yeah.

You got a blowjob to remember. One for the book. Yeah.

And I think sometimes you can tell all his friends, sex can start before we even get home. Right. So, like, we have our bedroom candy, Control Me, which is like. It's like a little vibe that sits inside of the pocket of your panties. Right. But it comes with a remote. So let's say you put the panties on with the vibrator, and then you give your man the remote as you walk out the door and say, control me. And so every time he feels like it, he can turn you on. Literally.

Right? Literally. I love the. We've always talked about that. I didn't know that you had that. You guys really, like. You're right. Menace when it was like, three toys and now it's like, 500.

Yeah.

I love the vibrating panty trick because that is so fun at a party. It's like, then you get home, like.

And nobody else in the room knows that you two are playing this little game with each other.

Yeah.

Right.

You know, if people want to see what we're talking about. What's the website?

Oh, it's bedroomcandy.com and it's K A N D I. All right. Bedroom.

So people can browse the website as.

Yeah. And they could. They could also host their own parties, which I want to talk to you about. I want to do one. Like, I just want to do.

I would love for you to have one. And I want to be there so we can come back to la. Yeah. I mean, I would come for that.

You come for a better candy party. And I'm sure you will come, too, so. And if people are interested also. I know. I just heard about this, that they could. They could host their own parties. They could become a bedroom candy.

Yeah. If you Want to become a bedroom candy consultant? Honestly, it is a great idea because, I mean, you can make up to 60% of whatever you sell. So it's a lot of consultants there out here, well, that have been with us that have been able to make that their business so that they don't have to work for anyone else. They have bedroom candy or even as their side business, to totally pay off their debt and all that stuff.

And it's. And how fun is that if you get to, like, it's like you're inviting all your friends over. Like, and this is the kind of. I just know from my life, it will grow. You'll tell all your other friends, you get kids down, you have some champagne, you invite friends over, and you're. You're showing them these toys. So that would be bedroomcandy.com with K. And then if you go slash, Emily, we have this. We're just. We just found this out that if you want to sign up as a consultant and if you enter code EMILY30 at checkout, you can save 30% off your starter kit. So you can just try it out. You can just see, like, how are all my friends gonna buy these toys? And I can tell you that wherever I've gone in the world, all my friends, there's been nobody. Even the ones I'm like, they're never being this. They're the ones who want.

Yeah. I mean, it's so funny because it's like, you know, most people that become consultants, they'll start off with just their personal friends, and they're like, okay, but it. You never have a party where. Where you don't sell anything.

Right?

Like, it's. As long as you're having fun, everybody's open to try something.

Right?

You know, and if. And, you know, we have more than just, you know, the actual toys. We have the candles that I was talking about that melt and turn into massage oil. We have the body chocolate.

We have so many stuff for men now, too. A lot of really cool men products, too.

Yes.

Like the lubes.

Yes. We have a lot of great things. We even have some anal Play toy. Play toys.

Anal's huge. Okay, so I've been talking about anal, obviously, for a long time and saying, like, prostate. Like, men, like, figure out prostate. It's there. Like, what if you, you know, you. You're on your deathbed and you're like, oh, my God, that felt amazing. In my whole life, I could have been having this, like, prostate orgasm.

Yeah. Some men are not open to that.

True.

And you know, and I don't feel like you should force it on anybody, but if they are open to it.

You know, oh, they fully embrace it. There was. I was listening to Howard Stern, and there's another radio host. He's like professional skateboarder back in the day. He's crazy guy. His name's Jason Ellis. And he started embracing it, and now he was like, all about it.

I was on his show and see, he's like, that's like that the first thing he was like. Yeah. So last night, my girlfriend was sticking her finger on my butt.

Good for you.

How was that for you? Tell me more.

Yeah, and then there's.

It is not for everybody, though. You gotta tread lightly. You know what you're doing.

You're talking about pegging and all kinds of stuff.

Pegging's a whole new thing.

We actually have a couple of same sex toys that's coming, but we have the. What is it? Strapless strap on.

What is it? Suction to your pubic bound?

No, it's actually it. It's a little piece that will insert inside the givers.

Okay.

Vagina. And when she's giving.

So it vibrates in front of it.

Can vibrate to both.

Oh, yeah. Like a double. Yeah, yeah.

It's like. Yeah, it's like curves.

Yes. No, I've seen those. I've heard of those. Yeah, that's.

Just take it to the next level.

What do you want? You can take something home with you. This is fun. Oh, my God, I love this. Okay, do you want to. I. You're here. I'm gonna have you help us answer some questions. We get a lot of questions from listeners, and we love having people help us out. So thank you, everybody, for emailing me feedback. Oh, no, actually, here's how you do it now.

All right?

If you have a question you want me to answer on the show. Love that. And now it's easier than ever. Go to sexwithemily.com and you gotta look at. We got a drop down. Go to Ask Emily. And now you can ask the question straight from the site. And you can also say, check. I'd like to be called. We're setting up phone calls now so we can start setting up a time. Assistant producer Eddie will call you and we'll take your call on the show.

Awesome.

Oh, wow, that's cool.

So. And you can also leave us a voicemail. 8, 1, 8, askswe1. And as always, we love when you include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. Okay. First one's about sex toys. How about that? Hey, Dr. Emily. I've been listening to your show for the past few months. I love it. My question is this. My boyfriend of almost two years is skittish about sex toys. He thinks I want them because I'm bored in the bedroom. Right. He thinks if I want a toy, that means he's not doing a good job in the bedroom. Truth is, he's doing a great job. He brings me to orgasm so much more than any previous relationships, including my ex husband, who was very, very giving in bed. I used to have a ton of toys, but I've since got rid of them since they were fairly outdated, used with previous partners, and just antiquated. I want the we vibe touch, the womanizer, some others. And he's so afraid that it's because I'm unsatisfied. What would you suggest to help lubricate him toward the idea? Thanks so much. Age, Mary. Age 35, from Guam, but living in Indiana, the whitest state in the country. I listen to the podcast on an Android. You know what I found so funny about this is after 11 years, this was the question I got asked. I used to have to. My caveat, anytime before I talked about toy was like, okay, guys, it's not gonna replace you. It can't cuddle.

Exactly.

So when this still comes up, it's like, oh, interesting. I understand it. A lot of men are, you know, threatened by it. And I get that he's worried that he's not being satisfied, he's gonna be replaced. And I saw Candy's eyes. Like, really? This same thing.

I get this question a million times a day.

I'd love to. Okay, so I'd love to hear. I talk about. I would love to hear what you say to these people.

Well, I mean, I totally agree with you about saying, you know, that this is not to replace you. It's just only to add some spice, enhance you, enhance you. So the thing that I always tell women is if you want to introduce one, introduce something that absolutely will not intimidate him at all. So that's why the candy kisses, the one that looks like the lipstick is the perfect one. Because when a man sees it, he's like, oh, it's a cute little lip lipstick. He's like, oh, yeah, it's not a big deal because it doesn't even compare to him physically. It's not. It's not big. It's not, you know, but it gives you a little bit of that power that you need. So you Know, if you tell him, babe, I just want, you know, why are you kissing me down there? I want you to play with it. I mean, you know, play with me down there while you're kissing it.

Right.

He won't mind doing it because it's just like, oh, it's my. My wife's little lipstick. Oh, it's no big deal. And then he'll start seeing your reaction, and that will make him like it more. Or either. Like the vibrating panties, you know. That's an introduction.

Exactly.

But we have some, you know, powerful toys, like, say, for instance, the hip hop. Or even with the Make Me over, which looks like a makeup compact, which will allow him to say when, you know it has the little hand, just like how a makeup compact is when, you know it's like a powder puff that has a handle on it. Well, when he puts his hand on it, he can be hitting you from the back while he's holding it up against the front of you.

Right.

You know, I mean, I like your advice. Starting off really small because as a man, I think, oh, sex toys, like huge dicks.

You're thinking a big dildo, phallic thing. Exactly.

And it never, you know, so guys will get intimidated by that. They're like, wait a minute, I'm here. What do you need that for?

Exactly.

But if it's something small, they won't mind it. Now, another thing is like, say, for instance, our hip hop, It's. It's kind of strong, right? But like, say, for instance, when you're giving your man head, he sees this little, small, little, you know, hip hop toy that we have. Right? But when you. If you let the vibration be under your chin and he feels it at the base of his penis while you're giving him head, or at the. Yeah, his balls and he's feeling the vibration, he's gonna be like, oh, my God, this feels good. Because it's like, subtle. It's subtle, but it's intense. And you're giving head. And he feels the vibration as well.

Right. Men like the vibrations, too. They just don't know it yet. Yeah, yeah, I think that's true. I feel like it's just like I always say, it's like an accoutrement. I mean, it's not like it's replacing you. It's like if you had this hot fudge sundae and you like your hot fudge sundae, you know, and you're getting it, you get the, you know, you get the. The cherries, you get the whipped cream, you've got the ice cream and it's great and you're, like, enjoying it. And someone's like, you want to try a few sprinkles? You're like, oh, yeah, that's really good too. It's not better, but there were some sprinkles on it. You're adding to it.

It's not a girl. Get one of those. A little strong vibe and put it on the side of your mouth while you're giving. Feels that vibration coming through your mouth. He's like, whoa, let's keep this doing right.

And the lipstick one is good for that, too. No, I agree. And that's what I just try to write. You do the lipstick, you do thing and don't bring anything that's larger than he is or anything. Yeah, nothing phallic. There's a lot of great options now, so that's what you got to do. Another question.

It's crazy that this. That's little, you know, comment of starting off small. Like, I don't think we've ever talked about that before.

Oh, really?

Because immediately, like, bringing sex toys in relationship, like I said before, I just think huge vibrators. Anything like that. Never, never thought about, like, okay, yeah, we can start off with something like really, really small, like lipstick or.

Oh, yeah, no, we say like a little tiny.

I'm thinking like rabbit, you know?

No, that's crazy. Do not walk in with your rabbit. No, nothing fell, actually. No, nothing. I say no phallic. One penis in the room.

Yeah.

Yeah, his penis.

It never occurred to me as something that's something that small, you know? Yeah, it's always something.

I love that you're still learning.

Yay. Welcome.

Good. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so let us know how that goes, Mary, but go for it. Don't just throw away your toys.

It's crazy that she mentioned that she's from Guam because my buddy's married to a nice lady from Guam, and he says that girls from Guam are like the biggest freaks on the planet. Super freaky.

Are you serious?

From Guam. They're super freaks.

And now she's stuck with a boring guy.

Now she's in Indiana, though. From Guam to Indiana.

She's going to change them after listening to the show.

Yeah, she is. I hope so. And also, I always tell you guys, if you're with your partner and you're having a hard time, like, kind of having that conversation. We talk a lot about communication on the show. Listen to the show together. Yeah. Mary, he doesn't have to listen to this one because you talked about him. But we've got thousands of other podcasts that I agree. It's just a bridge. Just, you know, you don't have to.

Bring it up with that lipstick.

Okay, we'll give you 12 minutes.

All right.

Okay, so let's get to another one here. Dear Emily, I was married for 27. Oh, I was married for 27 years. I've had some health issues and I'm unable to exercise. I still don't consider myself fat. I know I'm pretty. However, I do a lot of cellulite on my legs and very flat chested. I'm so self conscious of this. I want to date. I do it quite often, but I'm afraid to go to the next step of having sex because I'm afraid of looking less in their eyes. I love sex and I would like to do fun, interesting things. I haven't in my 27 year marriage, but can't get over this. Any suggestions to help me through this?

In her 27 year marriage?

No, she's married now. No, she's divorced now. She was married for 27 years. That was a little confusing. So now she's 57 and she's trying to get out there and date again and not feeling great about herself.

What we talked about earlier, guys.

What do you think they, they are going to dislike more? Not ever having sex or just knowing that you have flat boobs? I don't, I think he'd be more angry about not having sex.

I know, right?

We're our own work. We're in our heads. We're on critics for judging, judging, judging.

Guys don't care.

Yeah. Once he's inside of there, he's, he's good.

Whatever. You got him. So she's just putting a lot of pressure on herself because she's just getting back into the dating scene, if that wasn't clear. So I say just take some time too, you know, till you trust a guy. Till you know someone, you don't have to have sex right away and work on masturbation. Means for me, like when I'm going through, you know, I'm not dating or I mean, I mean it's been a while, but when I'm just not feeling, I masturbate a lot. I get my mojo back on my own. And you start feeling good and knowing your body and feel that sexual energy flowing because when it's shut down, it's shut down. Yeah. So make sure you're with somebody. Trust. Start masturbating, loving your body, looking in the mirror. Being like, you're walking around naked. I'm telling you, this works. These exercises work. When you're naked, you're like, I am beautiful. Just say it until you believe it. It will work. It does.

Or you can just go outside and you'll have guys firing on you. They'll be okay. You'll be all right.

Okay. One more question.

All right.

Okay. Hey, Emily. My wife and I have a pretty steamy sex Life. That's almost 100% of the time. Comes at my prompting and suggestion. How do I convey to my wife that when she initiates the acts I love, it makes sex a thousand times hotter. I'm always prompting or hinting her to do things I love while also being considerate of her needs and not asking of it too much. I've told her several times that when she spontaneously offers to do an act I love, it just makes me wild about her. Mind you, I'm not asking for these things daily or even weekly, yet I'm always having to ask or suggest. What do I do? Will age 31. So, you know, it sounds like he's having great sex. Like, when the sex happens, it's great. But he wants her to initiate sex more.

And I can see what he's saying. Is that, like, hinting. He says he's hinting. Sometimes hinting doesn't always do the trick. And I think that a lot of couples fall into this rut because they say, well, I told him. I told her. I told her I needed this. This. This is a. This is a new behavior. We're trying to teach someone how to initiate. For whatever reason, she's not comfortable initiating. A lot of times men aren't comfortable initiating. We hear the same things. And so he kind of has to break it down for. I think. I think he's got to say, you know, I've told you in the past, I love when you initiate sex with me, and I look forward to it. And here's what might. Like, what it might look like for me. He can even tell her, like, when you come home, like, this would be like. Or when she gets here, like, God, you're right. Now, if you came over and, like, started kissing me, like, that would feel good. Or we could hint to her texture in the middle.

But I thought he said he told her already.

Yeah, well, he's. It sounds like he's dancing around everything. Let me ask Candy. Okay, what about if it sounds like he's dancing around the subject by hinting everything? What about if a guy just came straight up to You. And we're like, all right, this is the deal. You know, you're not initiated. Like, would you be off putted by that if he was just straightforward?

Because that's my husband. So. Yeah, you just have to accept it if he tells you. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie sometimes, you know, my husband and I, we've gone back and forth with that. Like I'm tired of being the one who's initiating. You need to initiate and back and forth. So, you know, you definitely have to continue to say what you want.

And.

Maybe you should. Maybe like you said, maybe he should drop off a gift of something that he wants her to wear.

Right, right. I've been thinking about you all day in this. Like, I would love you to come home and be. Be wearing this, you know, being wearing this outfit.

Why don't you have that on when I get back? Get there? Yeah.

Little suggestions.

Yeah.

And I think that the other thing is that he can also go further to say that it's not only that I like kind of want it, I actually require it, I actually need it from you. It would make you feel really, really good if you came in. Because when you do that, it makes me feel. I know, like it's be hard. Will you maybe not use this, this verbiage? But it makes me feel desired. And so this got me thinking that I'm meeting these things from you. What might you be needing for me in our sex life? Like, this might be a great way for them to start talking about sex.

Yeah, sounds like a therapy session. What might you need?

Okay, you have to be like, but.

Listen, these hinting you.

You got it.

But like, yeah, I think, I think he, you know, it's like I, I like what you said before. He should text her and be like, hey, when I get home, I want you to have on that thing that I love that you wear.

Yeah.

Be more direct, but not demanding.

Be direct. See what she says?

Yeah, these are feet. Exactly. Because he's hinting, hinting, hinting, responding.

Check her phone, seeing who she's texting.

Who else she banging.

Yeah.

But the thing is that I think that the main point is. You're right. I get therapy therapies. That's what I do. And I want couples to talk because they don't know how to talk about it. But I also don't. Couples get very frustrated because they, they think a hint and talking about it one, two, even three times is going to change a lifelong behavior. She. Maybe she's never initiated sex in her Life. She's never done it.

Maybe they should make that a game. Make it a game.

Yeah.

Be like, you know, every other Wednesday, you're gonna have to come up with a different way to turn me on.

Yeah.

And this is a game.

I love it. Who.

Who does it the best? And so it's like a competition at that point for her to figure out ways to outdo him.

Yeah, that's. I love that. I love that. And you guys could track it. There's probably an app for that. I don't know. Put it on the calendar. Right. And then again, with so many great products out there, it's like one night, like, they're putting this on and they're like, tick the. The start. What is this?

The kiss and tangle?

Yeah, kiss and tangle. Like, I want this every night, but maybe one night, like, if you just go shopping and you're using, like, really, you have products. Like, we're gonna try out the vibrating panties on Saturday night. Hi. Like that. That's. That's what you do. Have some fun with sex people. That's just. That's just what I want.

We make it so difficult for 2017. I say we have to have a game every Wednesday, and it's a competition, and every month we're going to figure out who does it best.

Yeah. I like that.

The ladies are the.

I think we should launch a sex filming game like that. Sponsored by Bedroom Candy. Use some of these toys. This is awesome. Thank you so much for your tips. And this is amazing. And I. You're like, what? No, you've already been great.

Am I in trouble? Thank you so much.

You have been amazing. And I'm just. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so proud of all the work you're doing. Just. It's amazing. I love your bedroom candy line. I love all your success around housewives, just all your businesses and just. You're just a great role model. And I love that you're here. And I really. I want people to check this out because I actually do want to do a party here. I was talking to some people, like, work with you, Brian. I was like, I want. Why aren't I doing parties? Like, it helps people and your friends. It's a way to get together with people, become a representative of the bedroom Candy line, which I literally just try it once, and I swear to God, like, you might be quitting your day job if you even want to do that, which most people do. Okay. And if you're interested in having a bedroom candy Party of your own or we just want to learn more about it. Bedroomcandy.com Emily and apparently till February. Code EMILY30 at checkout and you save 30% on your starter kit. Or just check out these cool products cause they're awesome. One more thing, Candy, before you go. I got five questions for you. Rapid fire. We ask all of our guests. Here we go. Okay.

Candy, what's your biggest turn on?

You mean in another person or what they're doing to me?

Anything. It's what? Yeah, either.

Oh, licking on my nipples or eating my.

I almost could end here.

But biggest turn off a person who doesn't know how to eat pussy.

Sisters. Craziest place you've ever gotten busy.

I don't know.

That's a good. Oh, out in a park. Like just outside.

Yeah, picnic park. Having a picnic. I've done that. Sexiest word to you.

Wet.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

I thought you said what.

It's a southern accent.

It is a southern accent. What's the one thing you wish you could tell men about female pleasure? That you think all men need to know?

Take your time, don't rush it. Kiss softly and never put a dry finger in a woman. Always lick your fingers.

That's awesome. Thank you so much. Candy. And people can find you? Tell me all your social media. It'll all be on our website too. But you're at Candy everywhere.

I'm Andy on Twitter and Instagram. My Facebook does have Candy Burris which my last name is B U R R uss but yeah, everywhere.

And we got on website you can find Candy. Just Google candy. Even if you spell it wrong, it'll be Candy. It'll come up. Okay everyone, thank you so much. Thank you Menace.

Thank you.

Find Menace at menace. Everyone. Sex, family and thanks everyone for listening. Thank you to my amazing team. Thank you Madison, Jamie, Eddie, Ken, Lori, I love you all and thanks for for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackextwithemily.com.

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