Going the distance: Keeping sex alive no matter what

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institution.

Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com, where you can listen to all of our podcasts. We update every day with blogs and videos and posts and interesting things that will make you laugh, smile, and have better sex. And you can also check out Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. It's all Sex with Emily. And I've always have it chock full of information for you and things that will make you laugh and have better sex. Because what's better than those two things on the planet? I'm here with menace today. Hi.

How you doing, Emily, are you doing Snapchat yet where you send out naked photos to your podcast listeners? Because that, you know, get you more downloads.

I do have a Snapchat account. I'm not really sure how many naked.

Photos you put out there.

You know, I've never, ever sent a naked photo or a.

Well, you've claimed that on your. Or sexed.

I've sex. I've sexted, but I've not. I've not sex ed with the photo. I believe it's an error. It's a mistake, and people should not do it.

I know. There's too much.

There's too much.

There's too much stuff out there. Some guy just got put in jail for 10 years for putting, like, naked photos of some girl that he dated online.

What Was this? Why 10 years? Everyone does that.

Well, he was, like, 17, she was 15.

So it was like child porn, right?

Yeah. So 10 years in jail. Just don't do it. Don't be that guy. Like, you guys broke up. Who Cares, Right.

Exactly.

Even if somebody stole property from you, it's just things.

Yeah. Take a few minutes, think about it. Breathe. And here's the thing. You got to think about this. If you're a woman sending a photo or a guy, guys don't really care if their penis is online, really. Probably. But women. He's gonna a show it to his friends the second he gets it, who's ever sitting next to him. And then when you break up, he might post it online. He might show all his friends. God knows what he's gonna do with it. And there is. He might pressure you into it. Because I believe a lot of young guys pressure women into sending. Send me a photo. Send me a photo. Unless you're all doing the selfie, send it to Menace. Because he won't show anyone but me. No, but really, I just think. Or cut your head off at least. And don't make it known as you. But just.

No, don't support cutting the head off.

Well, I'm just saying they're gonna do it anyway, so I'm just trying to give them an. But really, just don't do it. There's no reason why not. Just tell him to wait till he sees the real thing in person.

Oh, that's just too much work.

What is? Cutting the head off?

No, just waiting till see new person.

Well, I just say, babe, I cannot.

See that person in person.

Like, and then people are doing it before they even meet someone, too.

I know.

That's kind of like they're tindering. And then they're like, oh, we're gonna meet up. And then here's my breasts.

Like, okay, let me ask you something. So once in a while, for the. The radio show that I do here in Los Angeles, I have to cruise all the Craigslist ads, and in the Craigslist ads, there'll be man looking for woman. And it's a man showing dick pics.

I know.

Does that turn you on at all?

No, I never. I don't even want to see dicks at all, mostly. But not that I don't like dicks, but if it's a dick that I choose to see. But a random dick is so not pleasurable. Like, if someone sends you a dick pic, you're like, it has no meaning. Like, women's bodies, beautiful breasts, a dick just sitting there, a wrecked dick. I mean, please don't do that.

Men's faces are not so.

People do that on Craigslist.

Oh, my God.

So, yeah, and they're gonna get responses.

I don't know, but I scroll through all, like, all different types of like, you know, do you know who's the nastiest freakiest? Is a woman looking for women. Like their descriptions. Because, you know, women take.

Are they taking pictures of their vagina?

Oh, yeah, they're taking pictures of their vagina. They're.

Are they waxed or not?

Photos? Some are.

Okay, you know, so what are they saying? Like, I want to lick your.

Like, the most freakiest stuff that you can think of. There was this one.

I can think of some pretty freaky stuff.

Well, there was this one. It was sisters looking for a girl to hook up with.

Two sisters.

Two sisters? Yeah.

That's just wrong. You're not hooked up with your family. Isn't that illegal?

In some states it is. Oh, speaking of illegal.

Yeah, speaking of illegal.

So there was this couple, I was reading the news, and they robbed the Walmart. Okay. So they're like trying to steal. Steal some money from a Walmart. They get caught and then they're making out through like the prison cell bars and all this stuff. And while the cops are looking up their information, comes to find out they're half brother and half sister.

Are you serious?

They go to him, they're like, hey, you're half brother, half sister. Like, oh, it's okay, we don't have the same mom.

Oh, my God.

Right?

Yeah.

And then they get out of jail and it comes back in the news because they get out of jail and they're hiding out in a hotel room because the. The husband of the girl finds out that they're like hooking up.

Oh, my God.

And then attacks her. And you think this is something I'm making up? This is crazy happening in.

Was it in Florida?

It wasn't in Florida.

No offense to Florida, but I believe.

It was somewhere in the Midwest.

Right? I mean, all in Michigan.

Everyone knows all the crazy stuff happens in Florida.

I know, it's true. That is crazy. He finds out that they're hooking up with. Yeah, half sister. Oh, God.

Like, oh, we're just half and we're.

Gonna rob a Walmart. The whole thing just gets worse and worse.

It was bad.

That's a bad story.

So that's what's going on with that.

But yes. What else?

You were in San Francisco?

I was in our old place.

Your birthday?

I was on my birthday. It was really fun. I hadn't been back, believe it or not, since I moved here. Like I'd been back like once when we did some shows. Like a year and a Half. I moved a year and a half ago, and it was great. It was beautiful and sunny and all that, but everyone's complaining about how much the city's changed and rent and all the craziness. And it was. Parking was significantly more difficult.

Seemed crowded everywhere. But it was, you know, for me. I got to see all my peeps. I had a birthday party and I had, like, 15 people there, and it was. It was a really nice dinner, and I just kind of got to see all my friends, go to my favorite places and.

All right, who'd you hook up with?

You know, I didn't, but I was open to hooking up. Oh, no.

Did you have, like, a bunch of ex boys?

I did. I had three ex boyfriends at my dinner, and one of them, we kind of hooked up. I haven't hooked up with him in a long time because I had a boyfriend when I was leaving San Francisco, but we've always, like, flirted. And he came out here once to la and we were supposed to meet up, but then I had to stay in New York for an extra day. Whole thing. So I figured on my birthday, you know, like, we're sitting next to each other, he's like, rubbing my leg, the whole thing. And his best friend's there, who I'm friends with are saying, like, oh, he's always had these feelings for you. And, like, you guys. So I'm like, it's great. I'll hook up for you.

Of course, you're eating it up because you love the attention.

Oh, I love it. And this guy's cute, you know, and we've been talking a lot, and, you know, he's not seeing anyone. I'm not seeing anyone. So. But then he. But it was a busy night. Like, I was trying to talk to everyone, and then he just left. He gave me a kiss. He's like, I'm leaving. Like, you know, at the end, it was like, you know, 12:30 at night.

And then I thought, how many other people are around? Did you have any other ex boyfriends around while he was still there, leaving?

Yeah, but knowing that I. But they'd have other girlfriends and that I'm not flirting with. He sat next to me at my birthday dinner.

He doesn't know that. And he's not gonna stick around. He's like, oh, great, the other ex boyfriends are here. I'm not gonna.

He didn't know.

I would have left, too.

No, but then I think that's confusing. And then all my friends were like, you weren't paying Attention to him. You barely talked to him. Like he was robbing my leg under the table after dinner. And then they said I didn't talk to him that much.

Did all three ex boyfriends know that they were ex boyfriends of you?

Yes, of course. One of them's been like 10 years ex. The one that I go away with on trips and stuff.

So do you introduce these guys to each other?

They all know each other.

My ex boyfriend. Oh, do they have like support groups?

Yeah, they do. They do. There's a 1-800-number. My friends used to joke, not a nightmare. My friends used to have a joke that there was a support group for men that were. Because I usually used to end them in ways that weren't very particularly kind. But I don't do that anymore because I just don't commit. But I thought we were hook up and he left. And I meant to ask him about it because all night long it was like on, on. And I didn't really care. It was good to get a good night's sleep. But no, there was no sex.

Yeah, but did you.

And then my friends were like, you talk to him?

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe. I don't think I was giving off the vibe that I would have been down with it, but I totally would have been. So now I'm like, should I have? But I wasn't gonna leave my part, you know, you screwed up. I don't really care. Like, I don't. It would have been fun. It would have been a one off. It's fine. It doesn't really count either. Like, it's like we already know each other's bodies. It would have been good sex. And we got home in the morning.

All right, so here's another thing that happened while you were there. So you had your birthday celebration, which sounded fun. You got to see all your friends and I mean, you didn't hook up, whatever. But you also were involved in your first porno shoot.

Exactly, my first porno shoot.

Was there double penetration?

There was no penetration. So here's why I was there. It was a coincidence. They flew me up to do this porn. It's an indie porn and it's all about a story. It's about this. I mean, the director, writer, he's, you know, won a bunch of awards for his short films. And it's like, it's a good story. It's about a couple who wants to open up the relationship and start exploring. So I was in a non nudity scene, non naked scene. Now I was there for seven hours. Shooting. It was a dinner scene. And the couple comes in. It's like. I don't know if it's like at the beginning of the movie, I didn't read the script. It was like an 80 page script, but at that time, 200 pages. But I just know I was in the dinner scene where the couple comes into this scene house where we're having a dinner. And it's me, myself, and a few other sex educators. And they're like, want to talk about, like, opening up and what it means and having an open, you know, having an open relationship. So I just had my clothes on and played myself.

Sounds very deep.

It is deep. But then towards the end, all the porn starts. Because after I left the porn, that's when the sex was going down. And then all these porn stars and literally, and they're all sitting around naked, rubbing each other's backs. And like, it's just like a whole naked fest. Seriously, like, they all know each other. And this woman next to me, one of the porn. Because the porn stars were at the dinner table. There was like 15 of us, and they were gonna have sex in the next scene. And she's like, oh my God. I said, so that guy over there is so cute. She's like, yeah, I had sex with him yesterday. She said, I've had sex with every guy at this table. Cause it was like male porn stars.

Yeah.

I was like, wow, you get a. That's crazy. She's like, I've had sex with like every guy in this room. I'm like, that's amazing. It sounds like a birthday party.

Fun. That's what you go home and talk to your mom about.

I know, exactly. It was a good. It was an interesting experience. But I didn't want to stay for the sex scenes because I'd been there all day and I'm tired. And I'd already been on a porn set once years ago. And here's what I just found out six years ago. And this is on my YouTube channel. You can check it out. I did. It's called like, Emily is on a porn set or something. And it was probably about six or seven years ago when I first started the show and I went on a porn set. I don't know if you remember. Oh, yeah, I do. This is when we were on Free FM and the porn stars came in. The director and they came in the next day. We talked about this porn well turned. And the women came in. Turns out my friend, I saw my friend Steve in San Francisco goes, do you remember that porn set we were on, I said, yeah. He goes, do you know that was James Dean's first film? You know, James Dean is a huge male porn star now. I didn't know that at the time. What? I didn't even interview him. But now he's a big deal. Didn't know that. So those are my experience with porn. So they flew me up there, I got a free trip to San Francisco, had to do some porn and hung out with friends. Yeah, it was a good thing.

Did they give a time on when it's going to come out?

Probably like six months or something.

What's the title again?

I don't know.

All right.

I don't remember the title of it. I'll tell you all when it comes out. Who knows? But you know who else was in? It was a Reed. Do you remember Reed? Of course. From this misadvised the Bravo show. The guy, the kissing workshop. Yeah, the guy who's an open relationship and stuff with like 30 women a month. He was there too. And he's like, I know you think I'm creepy because I called him creepy on national television.

He's creepy.

I'm like, I don't think you're creepy, per se.

Totally creepy.

He's not creepy.

Reed, if you're listening, you're creepy. Okay. Oops. Oh, no.

Hopefully no technology was harmed in my spelling. Today's show so menace. We've been getting so many emails from listeners lately, it's like blowing up. We always do feedbackextwithemily.com but I just feel like I want to answer all your questions. I love hearing from you. And people are also hitting me up on Facebook on my Sex with Emily page. So we're just going to cover some relationships and a little bit of sex. In the news today. It's a relationship themed and some sex, but these are some of the topics. Flirting during deployment, giving compliments to your woman, of course, boyfriend can't finish inside of her. And a woman gets dry and has a problem with lube. And there's some other things we're gonna see if we get to him. Something about threesomes. But we'll see how far we get here because we've got a lot to cover today. What's up with you, though? Anything I need to know? Do you have a. Can you guys get a towel? I love this sparkling ice cream.

There's a bathroom right outside the door that might have paper towels.

I feel bad, but I only spilled on one microphone.

I don't feel bad. I Sent money.

What's going on? How's your Woody morning show?

It's good.

It's good.

It's on. If you live in Los Angeles, it's on Alt 98.7 Monday through Friday, 6am to 10am Pacific.

So proud of you.

Thank you, thank you. And it's going well. And, you know, if you want to tune in, listen to it, go ahead.

Okay.

Live streams every day.

Yeah, I listen to morning show, but I didn't like, they were mean to you. But that's the morning show. I get it.

Because you're mean to me, saying, yeah, people say that I'm mean to you, but that's just.

You are mean to me.

That's just how it is.

You're not mean to me. You know, I. I don't think that men is mean. I love Medic. I see menace. I squeal. I'm so excited. That's how much I like before. If you up behind the scenes, I'm like, ah, menace. I scream.

I love seeing you. And if I didn't, you know, why would I be doing this?

Why the hell would you be doing this for so many goddamn years?

I know, right?

Right.

So I do love it here. And I. It's cool because it's good training for when, you know, relationship come. I mean, we don't talk about sex and relationships on the other show, but, you know, sometimes there'll be something in the news.

Oh. And you know, you know, I'm able to.

I'm able to talk about it.

You're able to talk intelligently about sex.

Yeah.

So you have learned something.

I learned a couple things.

You can always call me to call in.

Yeah. If you want.

I'm not awake at 6am yeah, but.

You'Re gonna be like, oh, they're making fun of me.

No, no, they can make fun of me. I can take it, Menace. I can take it. I just don't like it.

Oh, we did mention the podcast on the show, though.

Sex with Emily.

Yeah.

Really? Thank you. What'd you say?

Just saying, I think it was like a day after we recorded and they go, oh, I saw that you were out in Beverly Hills recording, you know, with Emily. Good stuff like that.

Awesome. Love it. Okay, a little bit of sex in the news because we got some good stories here. Crazy things going on. Okay. Grown men are drinking breast milk to bulk up.

Oh, God.

According to an article on Today.com, more men than ever are turning to breast milk for dietary and fitness purposes. In a column out this morning, Today explains.

The Purpose behind men chugging bottles of boob juice and the benefits of breast milk for the still trying to grow boy. In an unusual twist, some men are turning to human milk in a quest to bulk up or improve their health, believing all the benefits it provides to infants can produce similar effects in adults. The trend is puzzling. Experts who say breast milk is meant for human babies, not human grown ups, they regret the safety of it, obviously. So how are the men getting their hands on the breast milk? There's black marketing. Buying, of course.

Yeah.

It's not a product you can pick up at the store. It's only the breast dot com. I don't want to give that out. I don't think this is a good idea. They have it's men buying breast milk categories since its inception four years ago. Experts weren't against it. Guys swear by it.

Yeah.

So they get the HGH or other performance handling drug. I mean why don't they try other things? Seriously?

Yeah. Well this has been going on for a while and yeah, the black market has been going on. There are people. Yeah. Craigslist again. Posting things on Craigslist. But you don't know where that's coming from. I mean if it's your girlfriend or wife, whatever. Even that's a little weird.

But who made this up? I feel like it's a marketing ploy. They made it up like you drink breastfeed.

What?

Well, there's not even. They don't even say what the health benefits. Like it can't affects. It doesn't even say oh it's just.

Creepers out there that want to drink breast milk and they're covering up by saying that they do it.

It's not even certified. The fda. It's so stupid.

I drink. I drink might well to say that it's like supplements are like selling it in the store. I know. That's the problem. It's not even regulated. How do you know it's breast milk? It could just be like you don't. I did taste breast milk. I tasted my friend's breast milk once. She pet in a little cup and I tasted it. Do you think that's gross? It was a long time ago.

Yeah, I mean I wouldn't do it.

But we all dared each other. It was like my five best friends, we were all together and she had a baby.

People do it sip. If it was somebody that I was.

And then I balled up. I was really big and bulky.

If it was somebody I was dating, I guess I would try it. But that's it.

Oh, you would. Or dating or had a baby with. Yeah, for example.

Of course.

Because if you were dating someone with breast milk lying around and it wasn't.

I already had a baby with somebody else. That probably wouldn't be happening.

Probably not. That's a good point.

I don't want to deal with your baby daddy drama.

Not exactly.

Too much.

Okay, I love this. Because this next survey, cheaters are worse than swingers for condom use, which is the stupidest thing ever, because cheaters are the ones who are going to bring the diseases back home. And, you know, swingers are too. I'm glad that swingers are using condoms, but swingers are like cheating and not using condoms and then they're gonna mess up.

That's also like, probably swingers are prepared though too.

Cheaters are like, I'm wasted and there's a hot chick and we're. It's not usually premeditated cheating. So people who were sexually unfaithful without their partner's knowledge were less likely to practice safe sex than those who had other sexual relationships with their partner's consent. The study found that cheaters were more likely to be under the influence of drugs and alcohol at the time of the encounter. And that's why. Because when drinking, whatever, we're just gonna do this. It'll be fun. Like, your inhibitions are lowered. I'll have an affair. And then you have no condoms on you. And do you realize what a risk this is putting your partner? Because you're gonna go back home and sleep with her. And most people have some kind of disease. It's just not smart at all. So a University of Michigan study, my alma mater, found, so it must be right. Found only 27% of cheaters used condoms for vaginal and anal sex. Please, people. Not even for anal.

Those in open sexual relationship used in 35% of the time. Drug and alcohol use was 64% higher for non monogamous couples, both cheaters and swingers. So monogamy can be ineffective method for preventing the spread of STAs. Obviously, but only if couples test negative for STIs at the start of a relationship and remain faithful when together. If they're not faithful, you just never know. So it's just stupid people. If you're gonna. I mean, don't cheat, but if you're gonna cheat.

Did you hear there's a new STD coming out of San Francisco?

No. Yeah.

What is it? What is it?

I honestly, I don't know. I just been hearing it on the.

News and it's only based in San Francisco.

They said it came out of San Francisco.

Yeah. Oh, my God. A new std. That's all we need.

Watch out. Patient zero, anyone?

Seriously.

San Francisco.

See, I'm glad I didn't have sex in San Francisco. Thank God he left.

Party going on.

Thank God. Okay, I love this one too, because it's about cuddling.

All right.

My favorite thing in the world, post coital cuddles are key to better sex lives. Menace, you're not a cuddler.

Yeah, no, I love cuddling.

You do?

I do I?

Just for like two seconds.

Yeah, just for a little while. And then it gets too hot and it's like, get off of me.

You push her off and roll her off the bed. Yeah.

Just actually kick her in the ass. Get away.

Yeah. That's sweet. Okay, so what do you do? Straight after sex can have a huge influence in the success of your relationship, researchers have claimed. So when you kick her in the ass. Probably not successful. They say that kissing and cuddling after sex leads to a more satisfying and happier relationship. They advise post sex cuddles can boost the affectionate side of a relationship. When people think of sex, they tend to be focused on intercourse or orgasm. The research suggests that other affectionate aspects of sex are important for sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Okay, you always say this kind of stuff. Now my thing is you never put a time on it. You say, oh, you should cuddle. Right. But never, oh, you should cuddle for five minutes, 10 minutes, an hour.

It's right here. Ready?

Okay.

In the online survey, participants reported they engaged in affectionate behavior for an average of 15 minutes after sex. In the second study, couples were asked to cuddle for longer than an average duration. The couples who spent extra time together reported feeling more satisfied with both their sex lives and their relationship with their partner. The afterglow of post sex affection proved to be long lasting for couples, with participants reporting higher levels of satisfaction. I think it's true. It's the oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, you know, that gets emitted after sex from your body. It makes sense.

I'm sorry, there's only so many minutes in the day.

Monday through Friday, 15 minutes is really too long for you.

15 minutes. Well, within probably 15 minutes, I'll fall asleep on you.

I know. That's the problem is that men fall right asleep and women do sometimes. But it's just nice to. I mean, I think cuddling is just. Is so important. I can't date a non cuddler. I can't Date someone who's not affectionate. I'm not saying I'm all PDA in public. Mean, sometimes I am, but I just. I need to cuddle. Like I almost sometimes, you know, I'm just a chick, but like, I like to cuddle even more than sex sometimes I'm not in the mood. I just want to make sure I cuddle. I love it. I know.

We can cuddle. Just don't talk a lot.

Okay? Have you heard about the. Right. What did you say? Don't talk about it.

No, just don't talk a lot. Remember you dated that guy. He made you stop talking after a certain hour.

Yes, we've all heard this. That's a guy I'm still about. He was at my birthday party. It was like 10 years ago. And I'm like, I talk for a living.

I wanna give that guy a hug.

I think you've met him. He's like, emily, is there any way you think we could maybe not talk after 8:00 o' clock at night? And before 8:00am I'm like, hell no. I can't stop talking. This is what I do.

This guy's genius.

And dude, I don't talk all the time when I'm alone. I spend a lot of time alone where I'm not talking, even to myself. And when I'm with someone, I don't talk the whole time. I don't think. No one's ever complained. Except for this one guy. Obviously we weren't meant to be together and he was a loner. Okay, so have you heard about the women campaign for the right to Go top list with the Free the Nipple movement?

Yes, I have.

Why? Does it bother you?

No, I just.

It's about Scott Willis, the 22 year old daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. She caused a stir when she strolled topless through New York City to protest Internet censorship and appears she's part of a bigger movement, Free the Nipple.

Okay, so again, you're not gonna find a guy that's against. I mean that a straight guy that's against this. All right, but the thing is, saying Internet censorship, it's. They're. They're talking about Instagram. Okay, so Instagram's policy is not to have. Have nipples showing on Instagram. Do you know what? You don't own Instagram. I'm sorry, so it's not like an American right, freedom of speech thing where Instagram needs to be forced to be able for you to show your nipples? I'm sorry, it's just you. If you want to show your nipples. Start your own freaking.

Right. Do it on your website. I get it. Because it's like a family friendly, like, I mean, I do get it. I don't think it's necessary because people are following her. She's got fans, you know, I mean.

Well, do you know who really started this was Rihanna. So Rihanna took some photos, some topless photos, and she tried to post them on Instagram. Then they got taken down. So what did she do? She just went and posted them on Twitter because Twitter doesn't have a policy.

Twitter doesn't have a policy at all. Are they going to, though? I heard they might now. Well, if they do, Facebook does. Because my Facebook page and my sex without my Facebook page, I've gotten. One time, it got shut down, like years ago, and then I got it back up, but. But then recently I post something and then when I logged on to Facebook, they're like, alert. You have to. We deleted this post from your Facebook page. I don't remember what post it was. And be careful.

It's not like they're. They're monitoring it. It's people that. There's people, and they're complaining about it. So also, you know, if people. If you get a message like that, it's. It's people that are following you and paying attention to you that are shutting you down. It's not. It's not the company. The company's just going by whatever the community.

I wonder if that is. If it's someone you think complained.

It is.

Because there's no way Facebook's like, let's check out what sex I'm using today.

They have more important things to do. Okay, So, I mean, if you want to show your boobs all day, I support it. But again, you don't own Instagram, so don't get all upset and high and mighty on how they won't let you show your breasts online.

Right. But the thing is, they say women are regularly kicked off Instagram for posting photos with any portion of the areola exposed, while photos sans nipple, without their nipple degrading as they might be, remain unchallenged. So.

So what? I'm sorry if that's.

I know. It's Instagram's policy. I get it. I get it. People don't, you know, And I get it. My nieces follow Rihanna. Like, you know, they don't need to see pictures of her nipples.

Yeah.

And young boys, they're already gonna find it anyway online.

People. People are just so entitled these days. They think, like, if they have you know, an opposite thought of somebody. They just want to argue and get people to, like, come over to their side.

But they're saying it's all about women's worth and judging their bodies, that women should feel free to express and show their naked bodies. And I think people should reel it in.

People should make a website. Right, and do it all day long.

Right? I know. I agree. I believe that people have to be careful, because what happens when you're, like, going to, like, apply for a job, right? And then you're like, nipples have been all over the Internet. I'm sorry, but you could work for me. I wouldn't care. But most of your employers would care.

And you're a Wilson. Your family has millions of dollars. If you want to start an app, I'm sure they would help you out.

That's true. It's a good point. You should be an enterprising young person, not just living off her trust fund. I like it. Okay, we can move on to the emails from the people, because I love hearing from you all@feedbackexwithemily.com hello, Emily. I'm 36 years old, have been married for nearly 17 years to my high school sweetheart. Oftentimes during deployment, my wife has never felt open enough to send a flirty picnic, Skype online or be adventurous in any way. I know in the past that if I were to send her a pic to get her attention, she would know I was seeking her out, which would make her feel appreciated. I'm doing temporary duty out of state. She's reluctant to be adventurous. I don't want to push her for fear of causing a fight. But on the other end of the spectrum, I feel disheartened due to the lack of intimacy. When home, she rarely initiates a bedroom romp. She doesn't like oral, nor does she go for a lot of foreplay. I'm physically fit, financially stable. I've given her everything a husband could give a spouse. I'm often complimented on my looks and fragrance. Yet she is, for lack of a better word, a prude. Your assistance is greatly appreciated. Respectfully, Nathan Dumper. They've been together 17 years.

It's like, how are you gonna try to change somebody?

This is so common. Okay, people, listen. He's been in a relationship for 17 years, and he's emailing me like I get every day. People do not talk to their partners about what their sexual desires and needs are because they're going to change in the relationship after the first nine months. Two years. You're gonna Stop having sex as much. Things are gonna change and they don't talk about it. It's like, it's like the elephant in the room. We don't know how the conversation. And then all of a sudden you wake up. 17 years go by and he's not being sexually satisfied. So I don't think, I mean, it sounds like you're angry, but I. Doesn't sound like, Nathan, that you can't force her to do anything. You're like, send me a naked picture. She probably doesn't even feel sexy enough to send you naked pictures. She doesn't know how. She doesn't know what you mean. Because you're starting it with the problem and you're not going back to where it all started.

Maybe I jumped the gun by saying, cut her off.

Yeah, you did. But that's like you.

But I, I do agree with you. Like talk everything out, you know, you have nothing to lose. You're not getting anything right now anyways, so exactly what she has to say about it.

And you love her and you want to be with her. So there might be some things. And understand it can be hard to start the conversation with someone when you never have talked about it. You know, you've been together 17 years and obviously you're about the sex because people have so much shame around it or guilt that they don't know how to do it. But I think you gotta say, babe, I'm gone. I. I really miss you when I'm gone. And I, you know, I. Or I've been thinking, when you get back, Nathan, because I don't think you should talk about sending the picture, because it's not about the picture. And just when you get back, say, I love our sex life. I really want to bring it to the next level. Keep having sex again or, you know, not. I used to love our. I don't know, they should go back to how it was at the beginning. First of all, did you have great sex at the beginning, Nate? I'm assuming because you married her, it was good. You can start talking about, you know, how it was at the beginning. You can start exploring together and you can say, you know, let's go to a sex toy store, let's watch some porn, let's tell me about some of your fantasies. What's the most memorable time we've ever had sex out of these 17 years? What are your top five times? I mean, that's a great way to get started. That's a great, like non confrontational way to say, you know, she Says, oh, that time we were on vacation in Hawaii, I felt so free. You know, maybe you guys go to a hotel for a night and then, you know, ask her, like, what? I mean, you're saying she's approved? She doesn't initiate sex. Oral. Does she orgasm? I'm curious if she masturbates. If she does, what does she think about? Sometimes when you add a new element, again, if you buy a toy together or you watch porn, it can be a great way to bring couples together. I mean, sounds like she might be a little prude. You might not want to jump into the porn, but again, it all comes back to communication. And I know this seems, like, really hard, and you probably have a lot of anger in you, Nathan, right now. It sounds like you do or a lot of resentment. But when you start having this conversation about sex with her, it sounds like for the first time, that you have to be very gentle, not accusatory. Not like, you won't let me go down on you and you won't send me take a picture. And I'm very frustrated because she's just gonna lash back at you. Whenever you start a confrontation with your partner, with, you know, negative things and attacking them, they're not even gonna hear what you're saying. So you can just say, I feel I love you. I love our relationship. And I just feel that when we're together sexually, there's so much more fun that we can have. What's been, you know, how are you feeling about it? And what would you like? And you got to talk to her, and there might be some deeper issues here. So, you know, maybe you might need some counseling, some therapy to get through it. If you want to stay with this woman After 17 years, I would say that you got to make this like. Like priority number one.

Yes.

Especially because you're not in town that much, and intimacy is what connects you, and you need to have good sex.

Emily, you keep saying to compliment your woman about her look, not all women are beautiful. She may have been beautiful when you got married, but now she's fat and ugly. Do you want us to lie? Signed, Anonymous.

Wow.

Okay, Mr. Anonymous. Here's the thing.

We're keeping it 100 right now.

I'm not saying that you need to tell when I say beautiful compliment or 20 times a day. I'm not saying every time you guys say, you're hot, you're hot, you're hot, you're hot. First of all, and I have said this before, what I'm saying is make her feel good. Make her feel cherished about something. I am sure that there is still something that you love about your partner. And if you're feeling that your partner is fat and ugly, it sounds like you've got larger fish to fry here because that's a terrible thing to say about your partner. And I don't want you to lie, but I want you to find some beauty that you do see in her because it's not all about, you know, I'm not talking about her looks. I'm not saying you have to say nice ass. You could say like, I love you. Know that you are. So the dinner that you cook tonight, or you were so fun tonight at this party or you're doing great at your work. Something that makes her feel good and not just saying. It's all about the look.

And you don't find her beautiful Right now I think that you again, have it mean you think she's fat and ugly. This is harsh. I don't like this at all. Do I want you to lie? No. But maybe you could talk to her about, maybe she's got low self esteem. Maybe it's because you think she's fat and ugly and she knows you think that. So you're not doing anything to help the situation here. So maybe you can offer like, let's go for a walk, let's do something together. You know, I'm sure if she's feeling fat, she probably feels overweight too. So you should be supportive of your partner. Not, you know, criticizing or emailing me about it. But when I talk about complimenting, I mean, you can email me about anything because people do. But again, I'm talking about, women want to feel cherished, men want to feel appreciated. And so whatever you can do in your language in a day to day basis when you're with your partner to facilitate those feelings would be a wonderful thing to do.

Yeah. And then do something active, you know?

Yeah, go on.

Response is, some people don't want to do things that are active. Then, you know, where are you gonna be? Then you're gonna have to look at your relationship.

Exactly. You got to look at other things. It sounds like you have some like resentment and, and maybe you're fat and ugly too. Oh, no, but I just want to understand. I'm like, yeah, you're hot, baby. You're hot. Like, I wouldn't want a guy to tell me you're hot, baby, 20 times a day. And that's not what I'm talking about. It's just about appreciating and Cherishing?

Yes.

You cherish your girlfriend, man?

Yes.

Tell her she's pretty. Tell her that you like her. You appreciate things she does for you.

Yes, Every day. Because she does everything for me.

What does she do?

She cooks for me every single day. She does laundry. She cleans the entire house.

She makes you dinner every night, huh?

Every night.

Yeah. Yeah. And then like a big meal. Like a meal like you come home.

Yes, full meal. And then. Yeah. And even like when I have so much work stuff, she helps me out and does like some of my work stuff for me.

Wow. And what do you do for her?

I am a provider and protector, I guess. I don't know.

That's good. Yeah, that's sweet.

I mean, I do cook all the time.

Right?

I mean, what I do this weekend.

You still come home with a hot. How many people? Really? That's so nice. She makes dinner?

Yeah. What I do this weekend I took her somewhere. Damn. I cannot.

It's really fun.

No, I. Okay, Saturday I. We went and had dinner at dinner. Lunch at Disneyland. And we had some like awesome drinks and then we went and saw that. That movie, the Fault in our Stars.

Okay.

Just like number one, it's like some chick movie about cancer and.

You saw a chick movie?

Yeah, chick movie. And then we did that. And then we went and saw Neighbors, another movie. And then I took her last night to go see 22 Jump Street. So we're like doing stuff all the time.

You guys are fun.

Yeah.

Fun little couple. Okay, good. I'm glad you sounds like you're in a good place.

You did a lot of movies.

Did you have sex this weekend?

Yes.

How was it?

It was good. Now I'm just trying to think when I don't know. I'm really tired.

You're blacked out. That's okay. But first. Okay, now I have to just cut for a second and just want to say hello to my sponsors and thank everyone again for listening to the show. And you know, we want to keep it free, we want to keep it interesting. And I want to do two shows a week, possible five shows a week. So thanks for supporting my sponsors. I know a lot of you out there live in the LA area or come here often. The Hustler Hollywood store should be your main destination for the best toys, erotica, the sexiest lingerie, and most of all, the easiest way to find the answers you've been looking for to spice up your life, your sex life. Hustler Hollywood is the perfect date night spot if you're in a relationship Browse their selection of sexy products. She can go try. They have them. We were just there. We had a field trip, a sex family field trip there to do some pictures. It was so fun. The store is so massive and they have parking that's huge. And they've all this lingerie, like a whole room of just lingerie and these crazy sexy shoes and every toy on the planet that you could imagine times 10 for men. For women, they've got DVDs, they've got a cafe, the whole thing. So browse their selection of sexy products, see what gets you both turned on again. This is a great way to spice it up. If you don't want to talk about. Bring her somewhere like this. The way you can avoid. This way you can avoid any awkward conversations about sex and go right to the source. And I'm doing a workshop there. If you're in the LA area on July 16, it's called how to Blow His Mind. And I'm teaching it from at 8 o' clock at night. So we'll have more information on that. So check out how to Hollywood. Also, more on sex stuff. If you want to buy some toys, I gotta tell you about goodvibes.com they carry all the best sex toy brands. You can get the new Vibratex toys, the girls, they're great clitoral stimulators. They have the Rabbit. So you know the Rabbit Rabbit forever. So the Rabbit used to be this clunky, heavy thing and it's like had like double D batteries. I'm not kidding you. Is that something? Double Ds, right? Yeah, that just. Boobs. No, the batteries. Those big freaking batteries. But now it's like really lightweight. The new Rabbit habit. And I just got one and it's amazing. It has like all this functionality where you can control the little flicky part and the in the shaft part. It's. They're from Vibratox. They have the Rabbit Habit, the Dahlia. They also have the Magic Wand, my all time favorite. And if you use coupon code GVMILY20, you can get 20% off. So go to sexwithelmily.com, click on the Good Vibrations banner and it'll take you to my store and you'll see all the toys that I love there. So Again, go to sexley.com Goodbye sexley.com, click on the Good Vibes banner. Use coupon code GVMILY20 for 20% off. Why can't I try?

Yeah, I'm drunk right now.

I wish.

Okay, so you know why? You said, oh, did you have sex? And I paused.

I know.

I was still trying to think what we did on Friday. And I took her to an Italian restaurant.

Oh, nice.

That's why.

Really?

That's what I forgot.

Oh, that's sweet.

See? I do all that's romantic. Yeah.

No, I'm not saying you're not a good boyfriend. I just. I just had to come with you on a date one time. I'll be quiet. I just want to watch you with the girl.

Not gonna happen.

Why? She loves me. Or girlfriend.

So you're talking about all the sex toys and all that kind of stuff. I had a flashback of something that was funny when I was a kid. I found this box, and it was, like, in the 80s. And my. My mother was really into. And still is into gardening, right? And I guess my dad got this as a joke. But, you know flowers, they'll be really tall and long, right? Like, I don't know, a daisy or something. Or just like any old flower, it's a really long stem coming out of the ground. Well, I guess my dad found something where you. They're like these hollow penises, and you put them over the flower so it looks like penises are growing out of the ground.

I don't know why that's funny. Is your dad funny? Yeah.

Yeah, my dad's hilarious.

That's funny.

And I don't know how he did this, but he used to. It'd be early in the morning, and my dad used to convince my mom, like, would dare her to go run outside and grab the newspaper naked, and then she would go do it, and then he would lock her out.

Are you serious? And you remember this?

I remember. Yeah. Yeah.

That's really funny. That's cute. But they're not married. They're not together anymore.

They're not? No.

No. But. Sounds like they had some good times.

I guess nothing's forever anymore.

That's hilarious. I remember my first second. I just remember this when you were saying this. So when I was like, I must have been. And I was, like, an innocent kid. I must have been, like, 13 or 14. My dad, he was a lawyer, and for all of his clients, he would send them like this for the holidays. He'd send them this catalog and say, pick anything out in here. It was like, from Macy's or something, one of those department stores, and I'll send it to you. Like, that was his gift to his clients. And it was like, you know, everything in there was probably like 30 bucks. And you can pick anything. It looks kind of cool. It's like, you know, you can get a toaster, you can get the set. So I got what looks like the Hitachi Magic Wand. I got it, but they said it was a back massager. And I'm like, that's so cool. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get that. Because that probably feels really good on your back. Like as a massager, I didn't know about anything. And I remember ordering it and getting it and then it like disappeared from my room like a few weeks later. And I never knew what happened to it because I didn't know that it was actually a vibrator.

Really?

Yeah, I just had that memory. I gotta say, mom about that, cuz she buys like, I'm gonna take this.

Yeah, she probably still has it.

I don't know. If she does, I gotta bring her some sex.

It's funny because like, also if you go to like Sharper Image or I don't know, what is it, a Brookstone and stuff like that, they have all these little like vibrating toys that look like sex toys. But they say that they're massagers.

Right? But they are probably sex toys.

Yeah. It's crazy because then you'll see like all the kids in there, like, because everyone like plays with everything, right? Yeah.

So, yeah, it feels good to me. I was like, oh, that looks like it'll feel good on my back.

Doesn't do anything.

It's so funny. There are vibrators everywhere now. It's true. And I actually spent the weekend because I got this huge new box from Good Vibe because we do a lot of sex toy reviews and there'll be more. Coming up. We're actually gonna bring back an old favorite segment called Intern Sex Toy Review Day. Remember we used to do that menace?

Yeah.

And so we got to go on Good Vibe site. Everyone got to pick new vibrators that they want. And so we just had this huge shipment. And it's hilarious because everyone in the office building like to like open the guys at the front, they're like, open that package now. So we had open the package and show them everything that's inside. And there's like 20 crazy vibrators which are all amazing. But I had to test some too. And so I went around my house the other day and seriously, I had extension cords. Every outlet was filled with like 15 toys charging all over my house. So I'm proud to say that I actually have enough extension cords and outlets to make this happen.

That power bill must be insane.

I know it must be.

When are they gonna come out with the solar powered vibrator?

No, that would be, that would, that would be a bummer. That would be just akin to a vibrator running out of batteries right when you're about to have an orgasm. Solar powered? No, but these are all great. Cause they're all rechargeable and waterproof like most vibrators are now these days. So. Okay, next email. Dear Emily, I am 37 years old, dating a 41 year old man. I'm divorced and have a young son. Coming from a sex dead marriage, I'm in a sexual awakening. My boyfriend is hot, sexy and loves to pleasure me. I'm enjoying a new depth my sexual life. But I've noted what I perceive may be an issue. My boyfriend can't seem to come inside me. He gets erect quickly and stays hard long enough to deliver multiple orgasms for me. He goes down to me, loves to watch me pleasure myself. But generally he either doesn't orgasm at all and if he does, he needs to jerk himself off, or he likes to come in my mouth. This doesn't bother me necessarily because I am always satisfied. And I know he usually gets off. But when he doesn't, or when he needs to finish himself off, I start to worry that there's something more I can do or if this is a problem, please help. Thanks, Jessica. So Jessica, what it sounds to me is that your boyfriend has a case of what we call delayed ejaculation.

It's just like procurement ejaculation. This is delayed. It's very, very common actually in men to just not be able to ejaculate during intercourse. And there's really nothing. It's not because you're not hot enough or sexy enough or because a lot of women take the blame. They're like, why am I not turning them on enough? It's very, very common. I'm wondering at least he can EJ though by or through oral sex or if he jack themselves off. So if you help him add some lube to the equation, I don't really see it being a problem if he's not upset by it. He could, you know, get checked out by his doctor. Maybe there's something else going on or if he's taking any medication. But I do hear this all the time about delayed ejaculation. And there's just some guys, for whatever reason cannot orgasm during sex, but thank God he can do it with a hand job or blow job or, you know, jerking himself off.

I used to Be this guy.

Really?

Yeah. Because, see, you're thinking, oh, I know. No, no, not because I wanted. Yeah, I know. Want to get it. I just didn't want to get a chick pregnant. And if you are a girl that already has a kid, then he's like, oh, my God, I might bring another one. In this world, if you're not, you know, having the conversation that you want to have a kid, then he can mentally, like, hold out.

Right. You know, but they're probably using protection. I hope you're using protection, Jessica.

No, I mean, this. That whole email wouldn't be about this if they were using protection.

Like, you know, okay, but she. But maybe she's on the pill.

Yeah, but he's still. I mean, you think.

You think it's. Psychologically. He's still thinking he could get her. But that was your right. I mean, there could be a lot of things going on. I mean, a lot of people's sex issues are related to issues they have from growing up. Repressed sexual homes. You know, it could be their religion.

He doesn't want another kid.

I don't know if that's it. I mean, honestly. You can ask him, though, Jessica. Talk to him. Say, listen, babe, I would love, you know, if you could ejaculate inside me. But are you cool with it this way? Or is it something that's always gone on? Ask him. You guys have been together. You're having great sex. You're having multiple orgasms. I'm jealous. I love that. And he's pleasing you, and you're having a satisfied sex life. You actually said you're having a sexual awakening, which I love. That makes my heart jump. I love people having sexual awakenings.

Does he even want to do that? She just wants it.

Well, here's the thing. It's her thing. She's wondering if it's a problem. And I'm saying, jessica, it's only a problem if it's a problem to you or a problem to him. But if you're both cool with it, there's no problem here. Yeah, that's all I'm gonna say. No problem. Cause so many people email me, like, am I normal? Is this okay? I don't see a problem here. Cause you're both getting off. It's just not traditional that he's coming inside you. So I would just say, though, it can't hurt to talk to him about it and just say, what's up?

It's not tradition.

Cause I was with a guy once who I think we were together, like, Six months, and he probably only ejaculated, like, three times. And I knew, like, I talked to him about it. He's like, this is my thing. I'm like, okay, fine. So we still have sex, and I'd have my pleasure. And who knows? I mean, he was come, like, one time. He did. It was like 50 minutes. It was like an hour of, like, blowjob. It was like a whole thing. I'm like, you know, and I don't mind, but it was like, every time. So then it just became like, you know, he dealt with it, but he said to me, yeah, this is my thing. It's been common my whole life, and you live with it. So, Jessica, you're fine, but just talk to him about it if you're concerned. That's what I got to say about that. Have you heard? So that used to happen to you, but then it changed. Menace.

Yeah.

And now you have no problem ejaculating all over the goddamn place.

I'm like, yeah, whatever. Whatever happens.

But you don't want a baby.

I don't.

I love that.

No, not knocking people that do. I just. I know.

You used to. Well, I feel like you used to be more traditional. Like, you bonded a baby and settled down.

Yeah, but I just don't work in an industry.

We don't make any money.

I just work in an industry where I feel it's fair for me to have a kid, where I could just, you know, be a provider one day and then the next day not be able to provide.

The universe provides for you, though. That shouldn't be a reason not to have a baby if that's your real reason.

Well, you're doing fine. Effing annoying.

Well, that's a whole nother story. It's not about money. Yeah. Kids.

Like, I can be around kids for a little while, but. Jesus Christ, you know? Like, I don't know how you do it.

I know. I think that mothers and fathers are brave heroes.

Yeah. If you love your kid, more power to you. And if you have a good time, it's cool. But, I mean, don't look at me, because I just don't want to have kids.

Right. I just, you know, I don't think you're wrong. I don't think you're, like, murdering young children bad. A lot of people don't want kids. And especially because of the way our culture is now and in this generation is that people are delaying marriage. They're living alone. They're realizing, oh, this is pretty good. I'm independent. They're not. People are deciding not to have children and getting married. And more so than ever, like during my mom's generation, it was like, you had to be married at 22, have a kid by 25, like, you didn't.

Even think about it.

And in some ways I wonder, like, did my mom have it easier? Because she really just, like, there was no. You just had a kid, you just did it. You had knock out a kid by 25, 26, it's like what you did.

Another one, I would say everyone that I know that got married early or had a kid early, probably 80% of them are not with the people that I know.

That's why you shouldn't get married before you're 30.

You know, what's crazy is also I was reading some, some numbers about now that, you know, everyone's getting divorced and now they're, they're living with people. We're saying about, you know, people in their 50s, they're just not getting married again. They're in a relationship, they live with somebody, but they just don't want to deal with.

Yeah, because it's the marriage. Yeah, the divorce. Yeah, because the marriage.

Look, if you're 40 years old, you know, a lot of people are living into, you know, to their 70s, 80s, that's another 30 years of your life.

Right. When all these marriage things were happening earlier on, we were, people weren't living as long. It was a different world. We were like, till death do us parting and be with one person. Now we're living like 30, 40 more years than we were. And it makes sense that the divorce rate is higher and, and I think it's good to wait to not to jump into their marriage. My mom, it was actually her third marriage, but she did, she was with my stepdad, who she's been with for 30 years, but they, they waited 10 years before they got married. They met my mom was like 40 something and he was 50, and they waited 10 years. Now they're married, but they weren't gonna rush into it after two other marriages.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to, I would love to get married too. And, you know, hopefully it would last forever, you know, but again now, more and more, I. It sucks because you don't even look at the love side of it. You just look at financial side of it and like, how much of a burden it can be if it doesn't work out.

Right. That's why you have a prenup. Prenup. Yeah.

But still, just like, you know, you no Matter if you have a prenup or not. You. You have a house that you share.

I know everything. You got to split it all up and just. Better not to be in a relationship, not to live with anyone ever.

No, no, I think living.

No, I get it.

Totally fun, and I love it, but.

No, I know. I get it.

Emily doesn't even.

You know, I've never lived with anyone I know. Except for my.

You need that experience is so much fun.

I know. I know. I haven't met anyone that I feel like living with yet.

That's crazy.

I see them frequently, and then I leave.

But then you also find out really quickly, like, okay, is this person compatible with me?

But can't you find that anyway just from dating or. When you live in. I know when you move in together, you learn. Then you start to bug each other and stop having sex. I'm kidding. I know. It works for many people.

I have a friend who got married not too long ago, and they didn't live together before they got married.

Okay.

The kids, she's like, oh, she just like, traditional kind of person that likes her own space, right? And I go, you are freaking crazy. You need to live together before you get married. She's like, no, there's different schools. It's not traditional or anything. She just, like. She just likes her own space.

See, I get that.

And I go, that is. Then why are you. You. Why are you getting married? You know? And she tells me now that after that they're married that they go into two separate rooms.

Well, you know, that's really common now that people. People do that. They have, like, separate bedrooms. They have se. Separate spaces. Some people have separate homes.

That's insane.

It is kind of insane.

That's just. That's just so useless. It's never gonna be like that.

It's kind of. I mean, I. I don't know if it's useless. I think that maybe it's the solution if people. Because the whole notion of getting married and living together and becoming one is not conducive to enhancing your sex life and your. Your intimacy in that way. Because then, like, you share everything. You see each other every day. And the things that are. Make sex and relationships interesting is when there's a mystery and surprise and you don't see each other all the time. So I kind of, like. I think that can work. Like couples who, like, travel who are together, but, like, one of them travels a few days a month. Like, those couples are doing pretty well. They're like, I'm so happy he's gone. I'm happy when he's back. Like, you need space. And I don't think couples do a good enough job as taking space from each other. Cause they think we have to do everything together, we have to share everything together. But then it no longer feels. You no longer look at that person as like a sexual being. It's more like your best friend and they annoy you and they didn't pick up their socks and you don't want to have sex with them.

Yeah, but you want infinite space.

I do want infinite space. I don't want anyone in my space. I don't want anyone coming over, really. Okay, so next question. Emily, I love your show. I never miss an episode. I have a concern about what happens sometimes when my boyfriend and I have sex. Sometimes if we have sex for a long amount of time, past 30 minutes, I tend to dry out. Even though a few minutes before I would have very wet orgasms. Is it possible that I could run out of my own juices? I stay hydrated very well. I'm only 22. I'm really concerned because I like to have sex for a long amount of time. And my boyfriend does too. But I can tell he gets disappointed when we have to switch to lube. All help and tips are welcome. Sign, Kate. Oh, Kate, I love this question because you are going to allow me to make a very, very important point right now. Now.

You all have got to cut the stigma with lube. People think that lube is. If you're. If there's a problem, there's a stigma. She's dry, there's discomfort. What am I doing wrong? She's not wet enough. So therefore I'm not pleasing her. And guys turn their nose up at lube. But women. There's a study that came out. Many studies, women who reach for lube during the deed report significantly higher levels of satisfaction and pleasure compared with women who don't. And this is according to Indiana University, who's a leading sex education university. It's the extra slip inside made sex more satisfying and more comfortable. Sex tends to be more sizzling sex. Also, there's no normal amount of wetness. And different times a month, you might be more wet than others. But if you're wet most of the time and you guys are going for 30 minutes, there's nothing wrong with adding a lube. It's like. And this is why I started my Emily and Tony line. I said, I met Tony, who's a, you know, skincare guru, and he's an old friend. And we were having dinner in San Francisco a few years ago, and I said, I think there needs to be a lube on every nightstand. It pisses me off that, like, people that you gotta start dating someone you gotta like. Do you mind the lube? Because there's all these issues. It enhances sex. Ask anybody. Even if you're wet, you know, it can even add more to it. And if you're wet, you get dry after a while. After 30 minutes of anything, you're gonna get dry after 30 minutes exercising. If you had a whole glass of water before, you're gonna be thirsty again. So your body can't stay wet that entire time. So it's completely normal to use lube. And we actually do have a lube that is waiting FDA approval at Emily Tony. It's not out yet, but. So there's also other things. It could be stress, low estrogen, birth control pills. There could be other stuff going on, Kate, but you're a young woman, and honestly, 30 minutes is just about the time you should be adding the lube, if not before. And there's so many great lubes out there. Like, again, if you go to good vibes, sexualmoney.com, click on the Good Vibes banner, there's the Please lube by Goodlodge vibes, which I really like. I love uber lube. I like liquid silk. Just leave him there, nightstand and he just have him listen to this. That it's gonna enhance your experience has nothing to do with him turning you on. It's not a bad thing. It was that goddamn movie. We were talking about this. What movie was that? With the super bad. Do you remember that? With Jonah Hill, his friends, like, I wanna have sex tonight. I've got the condiment in lube. He's like, lube's for sissies. And he tosses it over him. Do you remember that? Lube is not for sissies. Lube's is for people who want their partners to have pleasure. It really pisses me off.

Yeah.

Do you have that feeling about lube?

No, I just, you know, you just never use it. Never have used it.

It's not needed. Maybe she'll like it. It'll make.

Yeah, but I. Yeah, use it. But it's just extra slippery, you know?

Yeah, but it dries out after a while. It says not messy, it's not sticky. It's like, useful.

Yeah, no, everyone should try it and see if it's for them.

Exactly. You know, I totally agree.

Speaking about Jonah Hill, super bad Bad again. I saw. I saw. Oh, you did?

He's like my big celebrity. The one celebrity that I've seen that actually noticed, like, someone like, hey, do you see that's, you know, Robert Jr. Next to you. But I saw him. I'm like, that's Jonah Hill.

No, you. You said that the Seth. You saw Seth Rogen.

Oh, right. But I mess it up. You're right. But they sock it celebrities.

No, it's all good. But they. They're in a lot of movies. They're in a lot of movies together.

See, aren't they confusing? I can't even think of them part right now.

One worst guy. Glasses. One doesn't. Which one is which?

It was the one without glasses.

Without glasses. Then it's Jonah Hill.

No, it was Seth Rogen, okay? I don't freaking remember. Jesus Christ.

But anyways. But anyways, I. I did see 22 Jump street that's coming out.

Was it great?

And it's super hilarious and fun.

I'm excited.

Sex in there and people sex. Talking about sex and stuff like that. But, yeah, if you just want to go see a really funny movie, I suggest you go see that.

Okay, sounds good. Anything else? Because we got to sign off now, so. Oh.

I mean, not to pimp anything out, but dream has come true for me.

What?

I. I'm doing radio commercials for vegas.com.

Shut up.

Yes.

Oh, my God. I've never heard of a more perfect match. Are you really. Are you getting free? Tell me everything.

Oh, I'm not getting free anything, but I'm just doing commercials for them now.

Are you, like, go to Vegas and get messed up like me and say, no, no, no.

Just like, you know, if you want discounts and stuff, Stuff. You just.

Do you have a code? They can call out menace. What is it?

Take 10.

Just vegas.com. take 10. And what do they get?

They get 10 off. They're already extremely low rates, so.

Awesome, dude, you are. Did they know that you, like, go there every five minutes?

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's how they. They hit me up and asked me.

You got a car?

Got a car. You know, dude, you have a good life.

Not so bad. They give you a free car.

Yeah. But you know, the only thing I. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I get to do a lot of crazy, awesome experiences, and a lot of stuff is handed to me, but I always have it in the back of my mind, like, every five minutes that it all can be taken away.

It is like business. It's a very Scary business.

That's why I never get super excited. I know about anything.

Well, that's what's so hard about being in entertainment, is it can get taken. We've seen it happen. Like, you know, the first radio station we worked at together, I was about to go into work, and they call me, like, sorry, we're now like. Like, classic rock or whatever.

Yeah.

Really? You're not talking? Okay. I guess it won't come in. I mean, that's really what happens. Toss you out any day.

Yeah. So imagine, like, all that kind of stuff and then also, like, thinking, okay, I want to have in a family. You know, it's very rare that people in our industry, unless you're at the tippy top making, you know, high six figures, then a lot of. A lot of those guys are not having families because it's just too risky.

So that's why I think you people should support us radio people and buy all the stuff we talk about. Okay. So, Menace, you rock. Thank you for being here. You can find Metis on Instagram and Twitter. M E N A C. Yes. Anywhere else you care them to find you.

No, Instagram is always the best.

Yeah. And.

But I love all the tweets that people send me tweets all the time after we.

You know, they're like, ha, ha. That was funny when you told Emily she was. Yeah, I love that.

I mean, you have so many other podcasts going on. I mean, you have. I mean, I do.

Too many.

How many release a week?

Two. A week?

Two weeks.

Tuesdays and Fridays. So just subscribe. You know what the best thing to do is just go to itunes and search sexademily and then you'll see all the shows there, and then you subscribe, and then you'll get the new show every week. You don't have to worry about it.

Got a lot of people listening because I was on the Stitcher website the other day, and you were, like, in the top 100.

Really?

People listening? Yeah. That's cool.

I'm in the top 100 on iTunes, too, which makes me feel good. So thank you, everyone.

You were beating Oprah in health and sex and stuff like that.

Kicked Oprah's ass. So thanks, everyone. I love your support of the show, and thank you, everyone, for listening and supporting and emailing me, because, again, we're gonna do more of these shows so we can get to all of your answers and I'm sure all your questions and answer them. And again, you can always get in touch with me and any way you want. So follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. It's Olsex with Emily across the board. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com hi, I'm Dr. Emily Morse from sexwithemily.com do you want to last longer in bed? Promescent is the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. One in three men suffer from premature ejaculation, but they don't have to go to Promescent.com to get the desensitizing spray that will allow you to have the sex you deserve. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health Health magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.com sex with Emily for 50% off. And here's a bonus, use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A l I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.