How to Blow Like a Pro

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Hey everyone.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I was bummed too. I know. I had to cancel my steak and BJ workshop. You know, it's the holiday after Valentine's Day for men. Anyway, I was sick. But tonight I am going to. I'm so much better. And I'm ready to give you some of the best BJ tips. Plus the 10 oral sex tricks you're not trying, but you should be. Also answering your emails that you sent to feedbackexwithelmy.com and thanks everyone for listening.

Okay, everyone, I don't know about you, but in Los Angeles. Oh, it's probably winter everywhere, huh, Anderson? But in Los Angeles, we've had a total random heat wave. Which makes me wonder, how's your balls doing today? Even if you're freezing, your ball's probably not that fresh. Okay? Your whole body, you sweat, you think you shower in the morning. And you know what? At the end of the day, you're not as fresh as you thought. So down under comfort I've talked about is voted by men's magazine, Men's Health. The number one product you didn't know you needed. So you better get it. It's a unique formula. It's a light natural powder. It actually starts as a little cream formula, turns into a powder. And you smell amazing all day long, right, Anderson? You've used it. You sweat. It's like if you ever are thinking like you have a date or something and you're like, oh, what if she wants to give me a blow job but I'm not fresh. You're fresh. And she'll keep coming back for more women under your breasts. What?

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that block our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about shrinking?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind.

Of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. check it out. Check out our fun website. There's more. Sex facts, relationship tips. We'll answer your questions and sign up for my newsletter and check it out. And I'm here with Anderson tonight. Hi, Anderson. It's so good. My heart, I miss you.

I know it's been like a month.

It feels like a month. It feels like a year. I've been gone for two weeks. I was in New York, as we know.

Have you had any kids since I've seen you?

I did. I had a kid. I gave it back. Just like my dog did. You know, my dog that I gave back?

You're one of those ladies that gives back a dog.

It was a long story. It Was a while ago. Anyway, it's funny cause I was listening to some throat. You know, I've been doing this show for a long time, 2,500 episodes. And lately we were listening to some of the ones just from a few years ago. And it's pretty funny how it evolved because I never listened to the show. And it's like they're actually still really good because Evergreen, you know, giving a blowjob three years ago is pretty much.

The same as it was back before the show.

Funny stuff. And I talked about my dog, which is a long story, but I did not have children. I was in New York and I was at a Tony Robbins seminar. And then I. You know Tony Robbins, dude, he's like 6, 7.

He's a large man.

Large man. Big feet, big hands. You know what they say, big lobes. He's hot.

Big shoes.

I mean, he's really smart. And people might think, oh, motivation. You know, when you think about it, you might think skeevy or you might.

Think self help book.

Yeah, motivational speaker. Like he was in the 90s. He was like on cable everywhere selling his hawking and stuff. But I was really inspired by it. I have a lot of friends over the years, several friends who were probably the most successful people I know who went to go hear him. And then after that they were like their whole career, like, you know, and they. Not only did they. It wasn't like, oh, their careers just took off. They ch. I saw them change. And it's very rare. Like you can do stuff, take yoga for a while, meditate and I don't know, it just. I'm always trying to work on myself. So I feel like I learned a lot.

Don't take this the wrong way.

What?

But you haven't changed.

Well, dude, let me tell you something.

You came in tonight with a head of steam. And you're the same old Emily. The same old Emily.

But I have done a lot of things that are different since you've seen me.

You look happy. You seem happy.

I'm good. Except for I look too skinny. I know. I got really sick. So what happened? Was a little gaunt.

A little gaunt.

So I went Tony Robbins, amazing New Jersey. It was like 6 degrees, but it was great. Then I went to New York and I went for lifestyle's condoms. Cause I was shooting some videos for them.

What do those videos look like?

Oh my God, dude, they were hilarious. I cannot wait for people to see it. It was so funny. I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about Them. But you know how a lot of people. And the reason why I love lifestyles. I've talked about this, but they make lifestyles brands, and then they have skin Sky N N. And people are skyn. And people are always emailing me, like, what kind of condoms? And because people. There's such a stigma with condoms. Do agree that people.

I know you're married now, so I don't have to deal with them. But, yeah, back in the day, brutal.

What were your. What were your excuses? Like, what's the number? What are the excuses why guys are like, oh, can't wear clothes?

I trust you, baby.

Right.

I think you're clean.

What else?

I don't have one. No, I always rap. I'm not stupid.

Okay, well, typical things are like, oh, too big. I've been with one of those guys. Oh, yeah. He's like, I'm too big. So we did these funny commercials where I. They're gonna be online soon. But I had to put. I was kind of debunking excuses because they make these skin condoms that are actually put polyisoprene, not latex, which a lot of condoms are latex. I know I might be losing here. It's a material that's really thin. It's like, truly next to wearing nothing. And we showed that you could put like five cucumbers in one of them and hold it and it didn't break. I'm like, too big. Don't think so. And then there was another one, another excuse. Guys are like, oh, it's too awkward to put on. And like, I'm embarrassed in the moment. So I actually put a condom on a banana with a blindfold and oven mitts. I whipped it down. It took me like 20 seconds. And then I put them in butternut squashes for people who think they're too big.

I know. I'm always coming up with sex ideas. It seems like whenever I'm with you, I'm always coming up with you. I think it's because what you talk about stimulates the mind in such a way. But you should invent something. Here's another invention. It's a condom wrapper that somehow, like, has little things go over. Goes over the girl's ears. So you can, like, put it on like a mask almost. And then you can put it on with your mouth.

Oh, a woman can put it on with her mouth? Yeah.

It would be like an incentive.

I thought you were saying it was like a dental dam that. Wait, what do you mean something?

Like, there's little attachments on there. Like so you open it up and then you can put it. So it's like over your mouth now as a girl. And then she puts it on with her mouth. Like she's.

She can already do that. I actually do. You know how you do that? You take it out and you put it around your mouth and you suck back and then you.

Sounds very dangerous.

Then don't let it. And you put. You have the rims of it around your mouth and then you go down the penis.

But I know what you're saying of putting one on.

Do women do that?

I don't know. I'm married, dude.

Did they ever do that? I really feel like I've been with guys who are just like, I got this. And I'm like, cool. Because I don't want to put on backwards. I want to break.

I'd be hard pressed to come up with a. More of a boner killer. Like you're right in the middle of sex though than like getting like a little wet nap out of a little packaging and fumbling. You can't tell which way is which in the dark especially. And like a lot. You're 50.

50.

You're gonna put it on the wrong way and then it just won't go down.

Yeah, exactly. It's brutal. But these were actually. I was surprised. Cause it's been a while. Usually again I just have the guys do the pleasantries with the condoms which I always use. But they. Yeah, I did it with a friggin blindfold. I'm really proud of myself and I just. I really love. They've just cool condoms. Anyway, okay. So it was fun. But then I got deathly ill. I got a flu, influenza, had a huge fever. And then I was sick and I wasn't on Loveline or here, which was like, you know, I've never missed.

No. No, she doesn't ever call me.

Made me very sad. Yeah. So here we are. Okay. And tonight you're looking gaunt.

So you're gonna start eating.

I know. So I lost. I couldn't eat. And you know what's sad? This is kind of sad. I don't wanna bring y' all down, but like I live alone. No dog. I have some good friends, but I'm not really good at asking for help. I flew in. I was so sick. I took like an Uber back from the airport. Lied down sick. Went in the morning to my doctor in the back of an Uber. Like couldn't sit up. Had to get my. Like I just. I'm alone. I was so Hungry. I was alone. I mean, I wasn't hungry for the first five days. I know, but I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna ask. But then my friends did all send me food and stuff, but I'm sorry I look gaunt and horrible.

Your Russian landlord help you out at all?

My freaking Russian landlord? No, not at all. Nothing. I didn't tell him I was sick because I'm not really. I'm not great at asking for help, which is actually something that I'm working on a la Tony Robbins is. I realize a lot of things about myself that I do. Like I, you know, hard for me to be vulnerable a lot in many situations.

You're a strong woman.

I'm a very strong woman. But that's, you know, we all need each other. And I'm not saying I don't break down and I don't have amazing friends. I do. But my. My first instinct is to, like, you know, take care of myself, everyone else. So I am different. You're going to see it soon, okay? Change doesn't happen overnight. Also. Yeah. So let's just get into. So I thought. Okay. So another thing I had to cancel, which was devastating. Steak and blowjob day likely.

Excuse the lady, the woman. I heard she didn't cancel Valentine's Day.

I wasn't sick then, but I was supposed to do a workshop at Hustler Hollywood, which was. They ordered all these steaks and all these blowjobs. No, they sort of stick.

Did they get a fill in for you?

No. I mean, it was me. It was my event. And we had like a bunch of RSVPs and I felt I didn't have a voice. And my doctor looked at me like I was crazy.

Like, did you explain to him what you had to do?

No, I said, Dr. Sue, I'm speaking tomorrow night at something. He's like, well, you can do a swing by. I'm like, no, I'm teaching a workshop. And thank God he didn't ask what kind of workshop.

What would you have told him?

I wouldn't tell him the truth. I said, actually, because people. I wouldn't lie. Blowjobs. I would have said, it's a blowjob workshop, actually. Did you know today's steak? And so it's like a month after Valentine's Day. If you don't know what it is. It's sort of the men. Did you get a blowjob and steak and blowjob day?

I'm married, dude.

That is the freaking lamest answer ever.

I'm Just going to say, actually, it covers all basics.

I did a great show the other.

By saying I'm married.

Yeah. You know what? Most people would think you haven't gotten one since your wedding day.

Right. That's kind of what I'm implying here. It's not true, but it's what I'm implying.

Well, let me tell you this. First of all, that's depressing.

Not as depressing as having those friends and being in the backseat of an Uber.

No, I have friends. All my friends rallied once they heard I was sick. But I'm not gonna be like, oh, can you come leave work and help me?

Yeah, I think a lot of people are like that.

Yeah, a lot of people are. Although I had friends in San Francisco who get sick, and they're like, can you do this?

And then ask, those aren't your friends now.

And it's not that I don't have friends. It's just, like, when you're sick and you are in your house, like, I was so contagious. It's like you feel alone. Okay, so. But I did another show this week with Lynette Carolla.

Oh, I love her. She's great.

I love her. How does she deal with Adam?

How in the world does she deal with Carolla?

I don't know, but she is so awesome. And she says that she never says no to blood. She gives blow jobs all the time.

Well, that's why he married well. That's one of the many benefits that he gets by being with her. What?

She's beautiful. She's smart. It was an awesome show.

I don't get it. I just don't get it. Love. Carolla worked with him for years. But, like, the two of them, it's just.

I know. They've been together 20 years. We talked all about how to keep the sex interesting. You know, what she does, how they bro, how he broke up with her right before they got married, the whole thing.

Was she on your show or were you on her?

She was on my. I've been on her show. She's a podcast called For Crying out Loud. And I was on her show a few months ago, and then she was on my show the other day, and it was really interesting. And she never says no to the blowjob. And I think, like, that's the thing, is that you just. How long does it take you to give a goddamn blowjob, really?

Well, it depends. If he's got delayed ejaculation, that's a bummer.

If he's delayed ejaculation I dated a guy like that once, and it took about 80 minutes to give a blowjob. I couldn't speak. But you know me, I'm like, I'm a go getter. Like, I gotta finish.

Yeah, but it doesn't make you, like, want to get up and do the next one, though, you know?

No, not at all. Never again. I broke up with him after that, but. Okay, so Tuesday, May 12, though, Lynette and I are doing a live podcast. I'm gonna be on her podcast live in Hollywood. There'll be more information on my website at some point soon. Okay, let's get into a little bit sucks on the news here. I love this. Ready? A philanthropic man makes Craigslist post offering to rate the boobs of all New York City women for free. Isn't that kind?

What a giver.

Good Samaritan, right? So this guy, this is. Okay. He supposedly dated models and strippers. He's taken to Craigslist to offer up his philanthropic services to all the women of New York City. He provides a very unique service, one that's not often found in the yellow pages. And I'm not talking about the plot to take in. This New Yorker is offering to check out the boobs of any and every woman in New York City and provide feedback. He claims that women can't trust their men when asking how their boobs look. So he's going to be the boob judging, knight in shining armor. Dude, first of all, like, what a loot. Who is this guy? No ulterior motive here, right? He's like, oh, I seen boobs. I dated a model once, and I'll be totally honest. I want nothing from you. I'm just trying to, like, help y' all out. You know, women love compliments. You know, they probably thinks that they'll, like, sleep with them or something. He's like, you got really nice rack. Who's he gonna say, you don't have a nice rack?

I mean, does he have to see them, like, bra off, clothes off, everything? I'm sure in person, or.

But it was flagged for removal. No, they have to, like, show up. I think it was flagged for removal, and he thinks it'll help women feel better about themselves and. Yeah.

Is there such thing as a boob doctor? There's not. Right.

Well, there's breast doctors.

There's like ass doctors, feet doctors, eye doctors, dentists.

Like a boob doctor. Like a therapist. Like a therapist boob or her thing.

It's just boobs.

Yeah, he's like, I'll tell you the truth and it is true that oftentimes, you know, women don't give up. I don't think. I think it's hard to talk to your friends for advice sometimes about things about clothes or even about men or about relationships. Like they don't know they're not in it, but who else?

Plus, they're gonna tell you what you wanna hear. He might be.

He's a boo master.

He might be very objective. Who knows?

But okay, just because he thinks a boob looks good, why do I even. Who the hell is he? He dated models and strippers. Like, what a loot, Whatever. Why would I judge him? Maybe he likes big boobs.

He didn't give you a good score then. Is that why you're so pissed I.

Sent him my boobs? I haven't her back yet. And I'm really, really insulted.

Really backlogged.

I'm. I'm. I feel really bad, you know, that.

A lot of women actually probably hit him up.

You think?

Well, people kill their, their wives and children and get marriage proposals. So I'm assuming that women are going to respond to this.

Yeah, maybe I don't. Don't respond to this guy. He sounds. It sounds creepy, but okay. But then my friend freaked me out about my boobs the other day because I actually don't really worry about my. I don't know, I have other. I'm anxious about other things, you know, like I'm weird stuff. Not stuff that most women, but everyone here is a boob job in la, which to be honest, in San Francisco, nobody does. None of my friends. It just. I know you think that's weird, but it's true. It's a very different. I know, like, Dr. Drew always makes fun of me. It's different here. I'm hard pressed to find anyone who does it. So my friend, she's like, yeah, I think I'm gonna get one. They're Jupiter. And I'm like, I wonder what? I don't spend a lot of time looking in the mirror. And then I looked at them and I was like, I think they're great. And I was like, oh, maybe like, I've been in LA for two years. And I'm like, I'm not gonna get a boob job. But seriously, every single woman I know has boob jobs.

It's starting to creep in a little bit.

Yes. More than I. This made me so insecure because she's like few years younger than I am.

Is she looking at your naked face?

She looks hot. No. We were on the phone and she's like, I think I'm gonna get a boob job. And, like, why you? Look. She's like, amazing. Hot body. I've seen her in her baby. I'm like, maybe I should get freaking crazy. Women don't do that. I'm not calling the boob doctor. I'm not. If I did, I wouldn't tell you, but I'm not going to. Just kidding. I wouldn't. I would never. I liked my boobs until my friend, like, didn't like her boobs.

They look great. They look. You're fine.

You're good. They're not great. Whatever. No, they're okay. Okay, so listen, a good night sleep. This is my next sex in the sleep.

You're just jumping right off the boob story.

Well, like, I don't know. Like, here's the thing. Do you. First of all, I get that as you get older, you have kids. I do not. I don't have kids. But, you know, your boobs, they do start to change. Sometimes you're taking pictures. They get them fixed.

Yeah, get them fixed.

Like, you get them lifted. That's what you get. You get a boob lift. It's not like I want my bigger because I think my boobs are nice. They're like. I'm like a b. Oh, no.

What, are you gonna go out and have a couple kids so you have a good excuse to get a boob job?

No, I would just do it. I'm not having kids.

Tack on boobs. Don't do that.

Are you having kids? I.

We're trying.

I'm married.

We're trying.

Are you trying? Good.

We're not trying that hard because we're busy, but we're trying.

You gotta, like, get the pee on the ovulation. Do you know how the ovulations thing and have sex?

Got the app, man. But it makes sex kind of clinical. And it's not as hot.

I know. She's got to make it hot.

Trying inseminate.

All right.

Drew actually brought up a real doctor. Drew brought up. He's been bringing it up for years. And it's really interesting that if, like, people from the future were to, like, are gonna find us, like, buried, like this generation especially, they're gonna find silicone breasts, silicone gel packs on top of, like, skeletons that' and they're going to think it's some kind of ritual. We had, like, a burying ritual. How weird is that?

Because they don't disintegrate they don't disintegrate silicone, does it?

So they're going to be in the caskets, like if we get crumbled somehow like the Roman Empire, and then they discover us years later. That's weird.

That's really where they'd be. Like an antique watch, maybe. And then like just little silicone brown.

Must be some kind of like, bear burying ritual.

Does that mean you're assuming then that boob jobs are going to go away and people stop?

I believe so, yeah. Don't you think?

I have no idea. I've never seen.

I mean, really, nothing worse than a bad boob job.

Have you seen a bad. You mean the ones that are really big or. I mean, I honestly.

Like, the skin's taut. Yeah. No good.

Like, when you've seen them close up, you could hear.

Yeah. I've been with girls where I could hear them.

When I hear them, when they're just like talking or walking around, when they're.

Jostling, like when I'm down and we're.

Doing stuff, they make a different noise.

Slashing.

Yeah. You didn't know that?

No, I did not know that.

One girl who, like, one started leaking and go have like an emergency.

When you were with her.

Yeah.

Were you, like, biting our nipples?

It was really. It was like I felt like I was dating a car. It was really nice.

She started literally leaking.

She was leaking? Yeah. She was feeling sick. And then she. They found out that, like, one of her boobs was leaking and you could actually see the one was sagging a little bit. It's like, ah, Christ, what am I doing? I liked it for her, not for her boobs.

But can you tell right away if a woman has a boob job?

I didn't used to be able to at all. And now I can tell.

Now I can tell it's the boob dar. I don't have boobdar or gaydar. I think everyone's.

So what you're telling me is you see someone without a boob job and you're like, it must be San Francisco or some other part of the country.

Yeah, yeah. No, but I'm serious. Exactly. I don't even know if they do. I'm like, oh, do you really like people? I hear everyone so open about it. They're like, look, feel them. I got my boob job.

A lot of the girls like too, like, who have had boob jobs, like, they spent so much money on them or went through so much pain with them that they'll just whip them out like we'll be at, you know, at a barge back. You want to see? And she'll just, you know.

But can you tell? Can you? I've talked to my guy friends about it. You can tell if they're fake, but you don't really care. I mean, if they're not leaking on all over your hand.

But there have been a couple girls who are like, I didn't know until, like, I saw them and I saw the scars when the lights were on. Like, one girl in particular, I was with her for a couple months before I realized I'm like, oh, my God, she's got a boob job.

Right?

But she had good ones.

The scars were like, underneath.

Underneath, yeah. Now nowadays, I think they just make tiny little slivers right. Of the nips.

Yeah.

I'm sure they don't shove them in.

They're like. Right, exactly. So, you know. But it is funny. I mean, San Francisco is like. It's just, you know, it's a different town and no one does. But here, she made me so insecure for a minute, I forgot about until now. Until the boob man. I'm confident you're good. Except I'm too thin. I just need to go and eat a cheeseburger. So that's a good boob talk. We're gonna get to blowjobs soon. And your emails, which are awesome. We've been getting a lot of great questions lately. I love hearing from you all. I love my listeners. I just want to say I love them. Don't you love your listeners? Aren't you so grateful that you make a living doing what you're doing?

Listeners are pretty great.

And your podcast, without them. How's it going?

Film Vault's doing quite well. And the After Disaster is doing well as well.

Good.

We just sold all over shirts. We need to get more shirts.

Really?

Yeah. People love their shirts. How do you.

I want to sell shirts. Can we talk about that?

What would your shirt look like?

My shirt on the back, it says, I had sex with Emily, and all I got was his T shirt. And on the front, it has my logo. And I made a few of them a few years ago for the Treasure Island.

Have I seen your logo? Where's your logo, dude?

It's on my website. You've never seen my Sex Family logo.

I must have seen it.

It's the lips. It's really cute.

Oh, yeah, the lips.

So I. We hosted a. I had a booth at the Treasure Island Music Festival in San Francisco a few years ago, which is an awesome Festival. We made like five. And I posted on a TBT throwback Thursday on Instagram and I got like hundreds of requests from people who want. I said, who wants one? And then I got like about 105. I haven't even got that many emails about anal sex. But like about 200 people were like, I want one, I want one because they're really cute. And I thought, I should sell some T shirts.

You should do some.

But you guys, I would support the show and then I would never read another ad again if you just all bought T shirts.

We'll talk, we'll talk shirts after the show. I got a couple ideas. Got it.

Okay, so here's the thing. A good night's sleep fires up women's sexual desire. Sleeping well does more than those dark. Keep those dark circles and eye bags at bay for a new study claims it boosts your sexual desire. In a study of 171 women, those who obtain more sleep on a given night experience greater sexual desire the next day, reflecting sleep's impact on sexual desire each additional hours sleep increased the likelihood of sexual activity with a partner by 14%. Sleep, most importantly was important for genital arousal, such that women who slept longer on average experienced fewer problems with vaginal arousal than women who obtain less sleep. Which is interesting because it's think about like you always think about people with kids and they never sleep anymore. That's. I mean there's so many things contributing to. Yeah, if you don't sleep, it messes you up. You're not as sharp. But if you have kids and you're sleeping two hours a night like your sexual desire, you've no vaginal.

You don't want to do anything if you're tired.

No. But even in life. But they don't say how many hours of sleep. I try to get eight. So the take home message should not be that more sleep is better, but that it was important to allow ourselves to obtain the sleep the mind and body required. It is true. And I feel like one of the reasons I got sick was because I was in New York and I was not sleeping very well and I don't. Do you sleep how many hours you go to bed? You're like crazy night owl, right?

Yeah, I sleep like six. I try and get six a night. Six hours.

That's not very much.

No.

That's not enough.

No, no.

To do well. This is about vaginas, but you know.

But cocaine girls, coke, horses are more commonly known. They love the sex and they don't sleep much. So that should round out the study a little bit.

I'm sure they really love. They think they love it. Just like guys on coke they think they like better than coke sex.

Nothing better.

Really, dude?

Yeah, it's pretty good.

But can't you not get hard? Or you get hard but you can't come.

You stay for a long time. Yeah, you keep going. Good, long night.

Sounds like a good time. Okay, let's get into some blowjob tips and I'd like you to chime in because you have a penis.

I'm married, dude.

You can chime in about what you like about if I'm correct here, because I'm giving you some tips. Listen, we've done a lot of shows on oral sex for women and I've had and this we're going to get in your emails too. But you know, a lot of women are like, what about I want blow down tips? And every single person intern who's work for me, friends of mine are like, I need a little refresher. So you're welcome to agree, disagree and you're welcome to add things in. Maybe not your own penis, maybe other people's penises if you don't want it because you're married.

That's all guys ever talk about, is the best blow jobs they've ever gotten. Technique. That's all we talk about.

Do you?

We go out for martinis, talk funny.

Funny, Anderson, you make fun. But coming up in this show, I do have people who emailed me and said, we asked for your best blowjob story ever. This was all in preparation for my blowjob workshop. And we got some really good emails. In fact, I'm gonna start with one of them before I get into the tips to warm you all up.

I got one too before the show's over. It wasn't me. It was a friend of mine who told me this cause she was like a little bit mentally challenged. It's a great story though. It's a blowjob story.

Okay. And you were kidding that you and your friends share blowjob stories?

Yeah, we don't do that.

Guys don't do that at all. They're like, she gave me a head. She didn't give me a head.

There's usually like in a group of friends, there's usually one weird guy that talks too much about sex and he's probably because he's not getting much and that guy's a little creepy. We don't talk about nearly as much as the ladies do.

Oh my God. We get all over it. That's what we do. Did he do this? Did you this? Fingers. Okay, ready? Dear Emily, the best blow job I've ever gotten was this last Valentine's Day. My mate and I were totally starting off on the wrong foot. All our plans were getting crushed and it was putting us both in a nasty mood. Things really started getting ugly. We left the hotel we were staying at to find. To find sweet suits so we could enjoy the hot tub later and try to turn things around. We found a sports authority and after getting no help from the staff, we decided to just share the dressing room. As I modeled the swimsuit I found. She grabbed my hips as she sat in front of me and took me in her mouth. All that bottled up aggression found its release at that moment. It was totally hot and it managed to completely turn our evening around. Thank you, sports authority, for being so attentive.

Now, I think that one of the reasons why this was probably this is from a guy. He didn't. We don't wanna really release.

His name sounded lesbianic at first.

I know it did. He's like, partner mate.

I think that this was interesting because spontaneity.

Spontaneity's good.

What man doesn't want a spontaneous blowjob?

They're pretty good, right?

And she grabbed him like grabbing his hips. That's hot, right? Like she wants devour you. She was aggressive with it and, you know, she salvaged a rough night. I think any fight could end with a good blowjob. What do you say? No, not any fight.

Any fight could. Well, yeah, it's a little dangerous though. If she's really pissed, you don't want.

She would bob at your.

Yeah, you don't want it around the teeth.

Penis. Yeah. I'm just not gonna do that.

I hope he bought those swim trunks. Hope he didn't.

Ah, he said he did put him back on the. So thank you for sharing that. And also, here's the thing going back to. Through my former my shows, my best of that we're releasing is that.

We'Ve, you know, the show's evolved a lot over the years and people did used to send me, like, I used to say, people like, what is the best sex you ever had? Can you describe to me your best sex or your best blowjob or your best, you know, oral man going, whatever it is, threesome. So I love those stories. So email me feedbacksexwithelme.com okay, so here's some blowjob tips that you might not know. And again, Anderson Married Anderson. You can agree or disagree.

I don't like that name. Per.

What?

Married Anderson. I don't like it. It's not sexy.

Okay. What would you like to be? Swinging Single.

Just Anderson.

Okay, perfect. The Deep Throat. I'd like to preface this by saying that not all guys, like, need the deep throat, and those who do like it, don't need it all the time. Agree or disagree?

Totally agree. I think deep throat is a little bit overrated.

Really? Tell me why.

Well, a. It shows me that she's been working with that gag reflex maybe a little bit more than I'd like with others. You know what I mean? And it doesn't feel that great once it gets back in the bony part of your throat.

So then what is it about?

Lips and tongue is way better than the deep throat.

So you mean moving up and down, like, more variety and usually, yeah, more.

Variety and then just more sensual. But a lot of the time, it's very hard for them not to at least, even if they got good practice, not to gag a little bit. And just.

Oh, the ones who don't gag, you're like.

As soon as they gag at all, it's like, oh, Jesus, stop choking yourself with me.

But some guys find that hard.

I know some guys really like that. I think those are the guys with the. And sorry to all guys listening who might have this problem, but who think their man, who's not quite big enough, like Mike Catherwood, would love to choke a woman to death with his penis because he's got a small one.

She'd have to, like, pretend that she was choking, like, put her finger in there, too.

He would love that. Yeah.

Okay. Got it. Okay. So deep throating is just one ride at the blowjob theme park, though, people. Because I actually forgot about. You know, I go in phases with it. I didn't forget about it, but I was with a guy who really loved it, and then I incorporated it again. And so even writing these tips to you all, I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I. I was really trying to think of, like, my best tips. I was like, I should do that more with this guy. Because you get into a rut. Gotta mix with the blowjob.

Get into what?

You get into a blowjob rut sometimes. Or anything. Rut. Sexual. It's gotta mix it up. Oh, rut, rut, rut.

I think it's a blowjob rot.

Blowjob rut.

Okay.

Don't get into a blowjob rot. It's not necessarily the main Attraction. Mix it into your repertoire, but feel free to use other techniques as well. Rule number one in perfecting the deep throat. Maintain control. Feel comfortable. A lot of guys do the head push number, but that doesn't fly with me. And I mean. I mean, when you're sitting there and they have a hard. This is just in general, the head push. You're hanging out, you're talking, you're fooling around, and then all of a sudden, like, he's. You're making out and he's like. With the head push. But I feel like that's. I feel like I've said this enough over the years that I don't even tell you why that's so offensive. It's like, I know you have a penis. I know that it's probably really hard right now. We're making out. You do not need to push my head there to remind me it's offensive. Now, if I'm giving you blowjob, I don't mind. Like, a little put. Like, I get that. But don't do the attorney little guide.

Maybe even, like, guiding, like, the tempo. Like, maybe.

Yeah, yeah. But not pushing it. Like tempo. Exactly. Thank you very much.

If we had a penis where we do as well as one, like, in the middle of our back, I think it would be acceptable to maybe push because you're, like, letting the girl know which penis you want sucked.

Right.

You know what I mean? But since there's only one, there's only one place to go. Let her go there on her own.

Exactly. So Exactly. We figure it out. We don't push you down there. How would you. Would you like that?

Oh, that'd be so weird.

Like, here, go down at me. Okay. Before you start pleasuring him, let him know that his hands are free to roam, but he can't do any pushing of any kind. Hopefully you don't even have to tell him this. But if he does, don't just give in and be a pussy. Chicks just say no to that push. You can explore your own gag reflex without having to worry about a sneak attack. So go at your own pace. Okay? Positions do matter for the deep throat, I find depending on the guy's length and girth and curve and all that deep throating sometimes works better from a different angle, so different sides coming at him from different directions. Just get a feel that works. So you can, like, lie on the side of him or be on top. Is there a position that you prefer, women just going down in your general.

Well, it's nice if there's like, eye level.

You want to see them.

A lot of contact. Yeah.

Like, so would it be more where she's between your legs or she's on.

The side, like, sitting down and her, like, on the knees would probably be ideal.

That is universally acclaimed. I agree.

Yeah, yeah. Looking up.

Looking up with the eyes. Oh, this is so good. I love it.

If he's, like, curved upward, she might have to be upside down.

Exactly. There's a whole thing. Or 69. My least favorite position.

Little vitamin E can fix that. It's Peyronie's disease.

Right?

That's what, 800 milligrams milligrams of vitamin E? Yeah, 800 milligrams.

Vitamin E fixes it.

It does correct. If it's not too far.

But, like, is it, like, correct? It's about, like, a millimeter.

Doctors like to.

I heard Dr. Drew talk about that stuff. Okay, so. And also, my third tip for this is relax. If you're thinking, I'm gonna gag, I'm gonna gag. Guess what. Your throat is all tensed and you are gonna gag. It's just like anal sex, being tense. So you gotta breathe and you gotta release your. You gotta just, like, your. Relax your throat muscles. And you don't worry about keeping your lips super tight around his penis. And if you let your lips fall open, you open your throat more. So you might be worried also, you might get drool everywhere. But that's kind of the point, I think, when you get the gag reflex and you have more lube because you need a lot of spit or lube. A dry blow job.

They're not good.

No.

And so another thing. Okay, no, that's all. That's all with the deep throat. Okay, so do. So. Okay, you all agree with the deep throat stuff there, but there's anything you didn't. Except for.

No, just don't. You don't have to do it. Ladies, all the time, don't. Stop trying to impress with the deep throat, because it does. It's not the end all be all.

Okay, got it. And it is about variety. So here, mix it up is another tip. They say variety, spice of life, and there's nothing more worse than, like, a bland blowjob. Like, can you. I should actually ask people to send me their worst blow job they've ever gotten. But, like, have you gotten a blow job where you're like, I'd rather be eating pizza right now?

You're gonna get dozens and dozens from guys just saying, yeah, she didn't open her mouth enough. And there's a lot of teeth involved. That's what you're gonna hear a lot. It's always the teeth. Yeah. Cause it makes sense. They're right there.

Yeah, but it really. Like, how bad? I mean, is it like some girls.

Can'T open their mouth very big?

Then use your hands. That's what your hands are. You gotta mix it up.

That's right. You can use the hands.

They say varieties of spicy life and there's nothing worse than a bland blowjob. Like I said, although rhythm is extremely important, your moves should have some variation. So you gotta mix things up. Varying between, like, slow, sensual slurps. Do you like hearing it?

Nope.

No. Light quick licks and the oh so popular head bobbing maneuver. And just move your. You don't like licks? Slurps.

No, no slurps.

You want to hear nothing. You want silence.

I don't want to hear that.

Not a slurp.

Like a. I feel like I'm at 7:11.

Don't you want to hear anything?

Yeah, maybe a little.

Like a mixed humming. Not the whole time. Okay, well, humming is coming up next.

It's coming up. Cool. Humming is coming.

Humming is coming. So here's the thing. Oh, you know what? Before the hummer, I'd like to give a shout out to my people at Good Vibrations because we love them and they help it. So you can listen to the show for free. Although if you do buy my T shirts, we will no longer have advertisers. I'm just gonna say it. This is what your one stop Shop for everything that you need sexually. I mean, seriously, you go to the website, click on my banner sexthog. Com. They have everything you need for blowjobs too. You know, you could put another blowjob. Tip is to get flavored lube. If you don't like the taste of it or the taste of semen or the taste of just. It's. You don't. A lot of women just don't like penises.

Well, the idea of.

You think it sounds like a locker room. Get some flavored lube and put it on your lips like a lip gloss, and then go down and then you will taste like strawberries or cherry or cherry. They have the magic wand. As you know, I've talked about the Cadillac of all vibrators. Well, in a month, I just want to tell you all, two months, masturbation month. They're making a magic wand unplugged, not plugged into the wall.

I can't believe it's still plugged. I had no idea.

Yeah, totally. No cord, no limitations. I'm so excited. And also they just have the best brand, so anything you ever want, they have. Penis rings. Big fan. That's also great to use during a blow job. And check it. So sexeven.com click on the Good Vibes banner. Use code GVMILY20 for 20% off or yeah off your 200 order or GV or just Emily for 15% off and support our sponsors and buy some friggin sex toys. The Hummer. So it's that cute move when you hum while going down in a guy that gets a lot. Gets a lot of positive word of mouth from the guys. You like it? Because I've heard from guys that it's really not that mind blowing. See, every penis is different. Like snowflakes. Like vaginas. You love the humming.

No, you just put me on the spot with like sounds I give you. I'd rather hear humming than slurping.

How about a hum? Slurp, hum, slurp. Like.

Dangerous territory if you really want to. Wow. Next time you go down, grab like I said, grab your. Okay, this is for sure and I doubt that you've had this happen to you. And I friggin beg you with all your banal sex right now with your baby. No, I am pointing at you with all your friggin baby sex. This is what you should do. Cause you're trying to have a baby. Dude, will you just tell me you're trying to have a baby? I don't know. Why?

Okay, listen, I imagine babies having sex.

I'm sorry, on the wrong road. I recommend grabbing your favorite handheld vibe. I've given you vibrators.

I got a few.

Okay. Like a bullet or an egg or just like a little like the Jae Jou Mimi.

I love the little V. The little.

Vibrator when you have him in your mouth.

What, with a little triangle?

Yeah, it was like a skipping stone. When you have him in your mouth, turn your vibe to the lowest setting and touch it to your cheek when you're going down. Mmm, it'll vibrate.

That's the sound I like to hear, is a vibrator. Yeah.

Okay.

There you go.

You like that? Oh, I have one on me. I have my Crave Vesper if you want me to.

Is it around your neck?

No, it's at home. I mean it's in my bag. It kept turning on because I was like leaning up against things and it was turning on. It kind of felt good on my breasts, but. And then Another thing is that it's so funny. I'll be sitting there, I'm like, oh, it's a vibrator. Sorry. It's a necklace vibrator. Okay. The thing is also about vibrators. I have found in my experience with penises and balls, that.

A lot of guys like the vibrations around their shaft and a little bit on their balls. Not too much, but like, a little vibration. And you think it's just for women. You're gonna be like, let's get that thing on again. So you could start with it on your cheek and then move it. Have you ever had a vibrator on your balls or your shaft?

Mm, I'm married.

So boring. You are so boring.

People had an egg on there once. I had an egg.

You had the egg. Did I already have the egg?

Somebody put the egg there. Yeah.

And it was cool. It didn't hurt, right? You didn't, like, call the police department?

No, no, no, no. Nothing to worry about, guys. Let the egg go. Go there.

Okay.

You know what? Can we. Having one.

Yeah, go.

And I don't like to get graphic, and that's not really my style. In fact, on the after disaster, that's kind of one of our catchphrases.

His podcast, which is awesome. Yeah.

Is we're not that show. Whenever something filthy comes up, which happens often. But I'll you' in with that. We're not that show. Let's not talk about the filth. But not to get too graphic. But I think it's important. And being the voice of the guy in this conversation.

Yes, you are.

We don't have a clitoris necessarily, but we do have an area that's closer to the clitoris and the rest of the penis as a whole. And that is like, if you're.

The frenulum.

Is that what it is? Yeah, right underneath where, you know, the. Everything comes out. Yeah.

Like, here's the. Well, here's your penis.

No one can see this, but. Yeah.

Underside of the penis about an inch.

Right. So, like, if you were super sensitive up. If you're on your knees in front of me, you're looking up at me, it's gonna be the underside of your penis.

Underside of the penis.

Right where? Like the middle of the. Where the mushroom. You know, if you're circumcised.

Underneath the mushroom.

Right there? Yeah, right underneath the mushroom. Right below. An inch below your urethra. Is that what it is? Getting clinical here? The hole in your penis and that little spot right there is pretty. Pretty good.

Right Below the inch, like right below the muscle.

Wiener. Yeah, the top. The tip of your bottom.

Right, the tip of your. Exactly.

Yeah.

That's called the frenulum. And it is the most sensitive part.

Focus on there, ladies.

So what. Okay. When you mean focus as much as.

Like, you know, it's kind of like.

But what about lick it with your tongue? Like licking swirls.

Very good. That's nice.

So that's a big. That's a good tip too. Is going up and down. And then like when you're going up and down, swirl your tongue around. And you can even just like go up and down. But then like put your tongue on the frenulum. Or would you. How else would you like your frenelum?

Like, that's good. Good. A little pressure, right?

And hands. Are you good with hands?

Hands are good. Yeah.

So I think use both. Right. The whole time, though?

Yeah, not the whole time.

The whole time. So would you like it to. I mean, I know it's different with everyone, but it's like you use the hands. We have so much going on. I mean, it's like you could use your hands. You could do your mouth. You could have the hands and the mouth go up and down together. Or your limber.

Get your feet.

They could be different. Get your feet involved. Give a foot hand job. Lots of lube.

A lot of guys would like that, though. A lot of. A lot of the foot fetish.

Foot fetish would be like, oh, my.

God, they actually have porn.

That's the top of the dream.

That are only foot jobs.

I did that once, I think beating.

Dudes off with their feet. Bizarre.

I think I did it by mistake once.

I would love to have a foot fetish, Emily. I would love.

I would love to have any.

I would pay money that go to the beach every summer. Just. It'd be like seeing topless people everywhere. It'd be so great.

But what if you had a. But boobs you can save everywhere too, but not the actual boobs.

Like, I'd be like, I think most.

Boobs look better in a bathing suit than out of a bathing suit. Especially mine.

Especially big boobs. Big boobs are a gamble. Like, you never know what you're going to see. Like when you get. When the. When the bra comes off and they get unleashed. You never know. One could go this way, that way. You know what I mean?

Have you seen a lot of breasts that kind of were like, good to.

A lot of the time? Honestly, sex is better if, like some of the clothes are still on okay.

Tell me about this. What do you mean?

Cause everything is kept in place and you can't see any kind of shortcomings underneath. Yeah.

And by keeping clothes on, do you specifically mean the bra?

Bra. Even like, the underwear? I know girls don't like to hear panties, no panties.

I know. I wish panties wasn't a bad word. Wasn't an annoying word, because it's. It is. But I agree. And I think it's. I think it's hotter, too.

It's way hotter.

But, like, is it because her vagina doesn't look pretty when it's going up and down in your penis?

No, that looks fine. I think something. There's something about the. It definitely adds the element of spontaneity and, like, wow, she's still almost presentable to the public, but we still managed to bang right here, right now. I mean, there's something about.

Yeah.

Something makes it almost more wrong.

Right? You're absolutely right. And I have to say, tips for guys is that a lot of women like the feel of their panties. I'm gonna say panties because what are.

You supposed to say for underwear? Underwear. Yeah, underwear. Doesn't sound right.

Is that it actually feels really good. So you know how I'm always saying, go five times slower than you should and that. So foreplay, rubbing a woman over her panties, the material rubbing on her clitoris can feel amazing. And the longer that you can wait to actually touch her and leave them on. I had my first orgasm from a guy that way in high school.

Cotton panties. They weren't polyester, right?

No, they were.

That probably wouldn't be good.

No, they were cotton. And I remember I was, like, in my mom. I was in the. God, I've never even talked about this. I was in the downstairs basement area. We had tents in the Midwest.

Is this Detroit?

Yeah.

Yeah. And my boyfriend, Emily in the basement.

Emily in the basement.

With her cotton panties.

With her cotton panties. And you put my pants on and you just. Just rubbing me. And it felt so good that I had my first orgasm with. Yeah.

And you're at 24, right?

Yeah. Well, I just said I was in high school. No, here's the thing. My first, like, real orgasm during intercourse. I was like, 22.

I noticed you said real.

What?

Meaning suggesting that you had many fake ones.

No, but during intercourse. But this was just him guy touching me, and it was hot. And I'm saying, till this day, even, like, when you rub, like, over her material, over nipples. But is the penis the same? Like, do you like being rubbed I always.

No, I've had scabs. Got to be careful.

Like, you don't want your.

You're like, okay, scabs from too much rubbing and too much dry scabs. Not like actual, like raw open wounds on my penis.

I was thinking of. What's the. What's it called? Scabs. The disease.

Oh, scabies. Scabies.

You mean you've had scabs because they rub the underworld.

Yeah, like. Like dry hopping.

You were dry hopping.

Yeah, right.

But for women, it feels really, really good. So I would say linger and have her linger in her lingerie.

You still chasing that dragon for the Conti. The cotton panties.

Orgasm? You still looking for that again?

Yeah, I am. I think guys move too quickly. Leave my panties on and with their lace. Whatever. Leave them on a little bit. And I think it's hot when they just pull it aside like you're saying, stick it in.

Let's do it.

Hot, quickie, do it. Just mix it up, people. Okay. Balls. When it comes to balls, we're talking about blood jobs. Proceed with caution. You might find yourself with one guy who really likes his balls tugged and batted around like a cat with a toy. It's true. Every guy's different. But there's no guarantee the next guy won't have a hypersensitive. Don't even friggin come near them situation. True.

Yeah. My very good friend Mike Carano, he's a huge phobia of anyone touching his balls.

Really?

Yeah.

Nobody.

I'm glad I'm not his girlfriend because that would be a pain in the ass.

Why? No, that's easy. I didn't know for years I had post traumatic ball disorder because I heard a guy once. I don't remember what happened. I don't think it was like, my knee. Something happened during sex. I don't remember. I did something and it was painful. And for like, years I completely blocked that the balls even existed out of my head. Like, this is my 20s.

For, like, you were just afraid of them. Like, they're.

I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I do want. I don't touch them. Don't hurt. Guys don't like it. And then I was finally with a guy who was like, okay, here's. And I told him and he's like, no, here. And she's like, cup him. Like, you know, like, can you show me again? Like, how to do it? Like, cup them like those Benoit balls.

You know, like a Russian nesting egg.

Yeah, exactly. And now I'm good. Now I'm down. But it's true, not every guy likes it. So the best move, like I've had success with it usually is involves cupping his balls while you're going down on him. So with one hand and your mouth working his penis, let the other hand gently cradle his little danglers.

Try cupping them. Don't squeeze them too hard. You just never know. And so the other thing is, when a guy's really into getting a good bj, his whole body is really sensitive. So it's a good opportunity to multitask, which is what women are really good at anyway. And there's a couple hot spots. So there's a lower back, top of ass. Do you know this? That when guys are really turned on, it's very sensitive. So you can kind of grab his ass, bring him in towards you.

That's a new one.

Do you know that?

Well, I guess it gives the idea that, like, she wants it even harder and deeper.

If he's standing and you're on your knees, hence every guy's dream favorite position. Try lightly stroking the lowest part of his back and the top of his butt with your fingertips. If he starts to giggle, stop because he thinks it's funny, but save the spot in your arsenal for later. Like he, if he, if he's really into it, but he probably won't laugh. But if he likes, he likes it. Can you see that?

Kind of have long arms to do that.

No, if you're like on your knees and you're like, grab his ass and tickle his.

I guess.

Okay, we gotta move into some emails. I mean, from the people here. Anyway, those my blowjob tips and they're all gonna be on the website and I'm gonna teach another blowjob workshop in Los Angeles. I have to make up for it because we have a steak. You know, I told one of my guy friends who's straight that I was having the steak and blowjob workshop. And he's like, wow, are they really gonna have steak there? Like, isn't that funny? I was like, you don't wanna know about blowjobs.

I like that.

I like that.

That was true. That guy's funny.

He's like, no, he was serious though. He's like, they're really gonna have steak? Like, he was excited. I'm like, what about the frickin blowjob part?

But you know what? I was thinking the exact same thing. Cause it's not a restaurant, it's like a porn shop. Hustler. How do they get us?

It's a beautiful shop. Hustler Hollywood Porn.

Hey, he would not be mad if I called it a porn shop. It's a. No, it's a nice, hilarious shop.

It is so freaking awesome. If you go to Hustler Hollywood in Los Angeles or anywhere, there's like 13 of them, and you use. You tell them that Emily sent you. You get 20% off anything, and I freaking love it.

There's secret shoppers over there. Make sure they actually do that.

No, I should.

Yeah.

They'll be like, who the hell's Emily?

Yeah. What if some dingbat up at the counter says that, uh. Oh, how do they make stakes over there?

I went in there once to shoot a video. They're like, sorry, you can't do it here.

I'm like, you're like, emily.

I'm like, I'm Emily. You don't know who I am.

How do they make steaks there, though, Em? Did they bring any?

They ordered the steaks. This is why I felt bad. I never cancel anything. And I was like, I couldn't talk. I had to cancel the whole event. And that's why I'm making up for you now on the blowjob show. And I will have it.

It's a good blowjob show. I actually learned a couple things. Did you? Yeah.

So you're gonna carry it on to your wife. Would you like an egg for your balls?

I'm married, dude.

I just said wife. I know that. I was gonna read some more blowjob stories, but I think we should. I'll read one more. Okay. Wanna hear the best blowjob story? And then I'm gonna get into emails. Dear Emily, for me, it has to be the time. It has to be anytime. My girlfriend and I have been away from each other for a while, Tension builds quickly as we both have very high sex drives. So when she goes down to me, it feels very passionate, and she gets really into it. Makes it feel so much better. She used a lot of tongue. A lot of tongue work and uses her hands either on my shaft or sometimes my ass. The work and passion she puts into it when we've been away from each other makes it that much more intense and mind blowing. Thank you, dude.

All right.

Absence makes the blow job stronger. That's what he's trying to say.

Makes most things stronger. Let me real quick, because I told you earlier in the show that I had one, and that's nice. The passionate ones are nice.

I want to hear yours, dude. Give it.

It's more fun if it goes the dark direction. And you should elicit some from your listeners to send in feedback.

Com.

Disastrous blowjob. So this girl who was new at sex and she was dating some older guy. It wasn't me. I'm. This is a friend.

Oh, sure.

An old. I swear, okay, Friend of mine.

Friend.

And she was talking to her friend before she went out on this date with this guy about sex and about things. And her friend's like, you need to, like, take Tic Tacs with you, because guys love it if you eat Tic Tacs and then blow them because it gives, like, some kind of mentholated. I don't know.

It's like Monica Lewinsky with the mentosing. Bill Clinton. Do you remember that?

It's the late 80s.

Okay?

I'm late 90s, I should say. And so she is panicking, and it's later on the date, and she's going down on this guy, and she takes out her little Tic Tacs and she got it confused in her head, and she. She takes a Tic Tac and she puts it in the hole of his penis. And he starts screaming, and it got stuck in there.

Oh, my God, that's horrible.

And it was, like, down. She couldn't get it out. He had to go to the hospital.

That is terrible blowjob story.

Yes.

How old was she?

Bad when she was like, like young 20s, 40s?

It was like, put it in your mouth.

Deserves it for going out with somebody so younger. So much younger than him. I kind of.

You know what? You're right. That's. I mentioned date younger women because your penis could fall off.

It could. You could get a Tic Tac stuck.

Totally. What an idiot.

You said put in my mouth. I thought you said put in his hole.

Not too. Not too bright. And what's funny is when she was telling me the story, you know what's going through my head the entire time? Because I'm a guy, this chick wants to get it on with me. She's telling me the sex story.

Wait, she was? Was it. She the one who put the TikTok.

She told me the story.

Yeah, she put the Tic Tac out.

She's the one.

Yeah. Was it years later?

It was years later. Yeah. But I was thinking, how many years later? Probably five. She was like, late 20s when she told me the story. But I was thinking, as a guy, if you open up ladies and tell, like, graphic sex stories like that, chances are the guy that you're telling it to is thinking, yes, she wants to do something with me.

So true. Yeah, and that's why it is true. And what if she just talks about sex in general?

Yeah, a little bit. Especially if she's drinking. Yeah, but this is your job, so.

I know, but people are already thinking it. But I'm like, can't we talk about politics?

Yeah, you probably want to talk about something else, because it's like me with Loveline. Like, when I get off work and I go to bars, if I hear girls talking about sex, I don't want to hear it.

Right.

It's like, ah, sounds like work.

But it's not like you don't want to have sex. People are like, do you ever get sick? I mean, I don't get sick of sex.

No, no, no. Sex and talking about sex, Two different things.

Two different things. You know, as soon as I go to parties, I'm like, please don't bring up what I do. And then they'll be like, hey, she sicks them.

I'm like, especially after a few drinks. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Everyone's got a story. Everyone's got a problem. Okay, Excuse you. Excuse me. See, I'm sick. Not. I'm all better. Dear Emily, I'm emotionally attracted to a girl that I'm dating, but not physically attracted to her. Every morning she asks to have sex, and I really want to. I feel like a jerk because I don't want to hurt her feelings. So I regularly go through with it. Am I an asshole?

You're a coward.

Am I an asshole? Is this gonna eventually break the relationship? Should I just end it now? Are there things I can do to turn it around? Help Devin.

Did he say how long the relationship's been?

No. And here's what I want to tell people. I've been saying this lately, and I hope this sinks in. Please, please, when you email me, tell me where you're from and tell me how old you are. Helps, but don't. You don't need to tell me much more. I don't need pages and pages, but it helps to know. I think he's younger. Sorry to say this, Devin, but having a physical and sexual attraction is probably the most important thing. You need that as an anchor. I mean, emotional is great, but emotional without physical, it's just eventually you're gonna want to start having sex with someone else, and it's a problem. I think without it, you're missing a huge part of the relationship, and that's the physical intimacy and the connectedness. So I want to know, were you attracted to her at first? And then you lost it. Or have you always felt this way? Because if you haven't, you know, he didn't say long years together. I always tell people that the physical attraction can return if they had at the beginning, but you got to work on it. But if you never had it, just cut your losses.

What were you gonna say if you haven't by now? Yeah.

If you're with someone and you're like, oh, I've always. I love talking to her. She's awesome. But I've never been able to get it out for her. She's your best friend.

And the physical is more powerful in the sense that it's instinctual, and it's where everything begins. I mean, we're always first physically attracted to someone, and then we get to know them. There's no way to be emotionally attached to someone.

There's no guy who's like, oh, I loved the way she listened to my problem tonight.

Now, I have been with girls who, like, I wasn't attracted to them at all at first, and then I fell in love with them, and I did find them very physically attractive. Women do that, and they haven't really changed. But my mind, the way I saw them, changed. But if this guy's already.

Wait, you've done that with.

Oh, I've totally done that.

You've been like, I don't think she's that hot. And then she gets hotter.

Yeah, I was with. I was with a girl that I was, like, really good friends with for six months, and then. And I had no attraction to her. She was, like, pudgy and bad acne, and just there was nothing. But I loved her so much as a person. And then.

So what happened when you were drunk one night and.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's actually the one always. Yeah, but she was tic tac in the psych. No, no, no, no. She's the one that. From too much dry humping the first time.

Oh, she gave you scabbies.

We ended up dating for, like, three years. Like, I was in love with this girl, and then.

Wow, her personality. I was gonna say that men typically. That usually it's women. Guys grow on them, and they're like, but this is great. Tell me where she's at.

Well, I got a lot of girl in me, too. I should say that I got a lot of girls.

You're emotional.

But she ended up cleaning up her act, lost a bunch of weight, got her face all clean. While we were together, she turned into, like, a very beautiful girl and ended up marrying my Best friend.

Did she leave you for your best friend?

Yeah, she did.

Oh, no. You're crossed. Are you still, like. Is it still hard to talk about?

Thank God she got away because I got a great wife now. But, yeah, she.

Sweet. How long were you together? Three years.

Three. Three and a half years.

And then, like, one day you found out, or she said, hey, I'm in love with Joe.

She went to. She went away to college, and I was still going to visit her because it was, like, in San Diego, so it wasn't that far. And then, like, I actually heard. I went out for a cigarette and one benefit of smoking, which I'm quitting April 1st, but, like, you can, like, you know, go outside, have a cigarette, and you might overhear your girlfriend through the window talking to your old best friend about how she's bummed because I am. I'm there.

Oh, dude. I mean, tell me you.

It was tough.

What did you just. They're divorced, honey. They are three kids. And he. Was he really your best friend? And it's done and done.

It's a long story, but he was my best friend.

He's sorry that I'm hurt. I actually need to, like. I'm, like, so sad.

They were dating when they were, like, before me, and I actually stopped being friends with him because he was such a. He took so much of. He'd get drunk and strike out at the party, and then he'd call this, like, little girl, so she was, you know, freshman in high school, and say, like, come blow me. And she would. And I'm like, this girl that you dated? Yeah. Yeah. So I stopped being friends with him, and then she ended up going back to him four years later. Anyway, long, long convoluted story. But, yes, long story short, if you are with this girl and you're feeling like it's a chore to bang her and there's nothing there, and, like, you got to think of other people to get it up. It's over.

It's. It is. And if you're young and you. You're in college, whatever, you don't have a lot as much experience. Yeah, I would say that either. Yeah. You could try to give it the whole college try, but I. You know, and also.

It'S common in relationships for the physical attraction to go. You know, to not be as strong as it was the first 18 months. That's how we're wired. It's biology. However, you know, if it's gone and you can't get it back or it's only Been a few months, you know, you got to work on it. So. Also, are you sexually attracted to other women? If not, it's possible that it's you that's changed recent stresses. Life, life. I mean, if you're not attracted to other women and you just have no sex drive is what I'm saying, you could be stressed out. There could be a life situation. A lot of times when guys are stressed about work, money, they can't get it up, they don't wanna have sex.

I think that's great advice considering how little he gave you. Thank you. As far as information, you know what I mean?

We'll do one more real quick. Emily. I'm having some serious problems with sexual insecurity. My boyfriend says he's like to go down on me, but only if I take a shower first or only if it doesn't seem stink. This has been an ongoing issue for our four year relationship and I can't shake this insecurity. He thinks he's being honest with me, but it just hurts my feelings and makes me not want to have sex at all. I do care of my. Take care of myself down there. No, there's nothing wrong with me. I just can't get those words he says out of my head to enjoy sex anymore. Please help. Love you. Love your show, Vivian.

What a dick.

What an asshole. Seriously. He claims he enjoys it, but only ifed that talks about him and not you. I can't. I know, I can't get out of my head. Now listen, this is. There's no way you're supposed to be calm and collected and into this sexual situation. If he's telling you that you're doing everything right, you're keeping it, you know, clean. This is his insecurities and not yours. And you have to have an honest conversation with him if you still like this guy. Regarding his comments. And he needs to know that they're hurtful and they make you feel bad. And does he actually believe you have a hygiene issue? Because here's the other thing. Some women do. We've talked about this a lot, you know, that they don't know and they could have an infection.

Tough to tell.

It's very tough to tell. So you might. I mean, I'm just saying there's a possibility, but he's been saying it for four years.

She has a good friend though, that maybe can tell her, yeah, come over.

Betsy and sniff my vag.

There's some girls that are very close, right?

Yeah, that's true, but it's an immaturity on his part, I think. And after he talked about it, you gotta give your vagina a break. Stop worrying about it. But listen, he. If again, if you'd been dating for four years and one day he said, listen, babe, something's kind of funky and maybe you should go to the doctor, because if you're listening this and that happened, that happens to women. They don't know that. But this is four years.

I don't think this is.

That he doesn't like oral sex.

I think he's just lazy and he's probably a negotiator. He's probably a negotiator in life. He's probably, like, works in the stock market or like he's a real estate.

Agent, or he doesn't like it, or he just is insecure about it, or he's OCD and like, thinks it's going to give him a disease. I don't like this guy, Vivian. I'm sorry.

Yeah, but four years, she's. She's in love.

This is going to ruin her for whole life.

Yeah, he's. He's ruining you.

She's got to bring the badge back. Yeah, you got to go with some guy who just loves your pussy. And he's like, all I want to do to sit here and go down pussy. What am I gonna say? Panties and pussies? I could say vagina, but I actually dislike the word vagina and I'm trying to come up with a better one. Okay, everyone, that's what we got time for. I got a few things to say though. First before we go. I love you, Anderson. And check out Anderson's podcast, the After Disaster and the Film Vault. And one of my goals for 2015 is to see more movies. Film Vault. You talk about movies. So what should I see? Anything out right now that you guys have reviewed or that I should talk about? Because I saw one in the last five years and I don't even remember.

Yeah, that was. That was 50 shades of gray that you saw. I know what you saw. You know what? The critics are really hard on it. But Chappie, I love Chappie. I've seen it twice now. The movie is. There's a lot of problems with the movie. It's Neil Blomkamp's latest movie. He's the one that did Disc nine a few years ago that was up for best picture. Everyone loved it. But this is his latest one. It's Chappie. It's an R rated movie about a robot. Robot cop that's kind of Like Short Circuit. And he has AI lot. A lot of going on here. But the movie itself is not very good. But Chappie the robot is great. I love it.

The robot is a great actor.

Yeah, the. The guy that the. The actor that played him is great. And if you fall in love with the robot like I did, I think you can really enjoy this movie. So it's only got like 30% on rotten tomatoes right now, but I've seen it twice.

I mean, I mean, I mean, African.

Band that I'm obsessed with called the Antwerd, which they star in the movie. It opened up this whole new thing for me. I love.

Wow.

This movie.

Okay, you talk around the film vault. This week's podcast. Okay? Check it out, people. Also, I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona. Uh, shoot. What are the dates? April 25th and 26th. You remember the sexual health Expo I did in Los Angeles? She. It was such a success. It's open to consumers, men, women, couples. It was 2,000 people here. We're doing in Phoenix April 25th and 26th at the Doubletree Hotel. I'm actually giving away tickets too, so email me if you want to go. It's in Scottsdale.

Is that by asu?

It's in Scottsdale. Oh, yeah. My brother went to school there. No, he was at U of A. Whatever. It's in Scottsdale.

I think they had the most STDs of any school.

I've heard this. So also, if you like the show, I love you, your friends about it. Tell your friends to listen because friends don't let friends not have the best sex of their life. Also, if you like us, please. Oh, social media, you know, I love it. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. It's all sex with Emily. And finally, my Kaggle camp, my iPhone app was just re released on itunes. It's better than ever. It's for men and for women. Remind you you're Kegels. We need interns. Email me feedbackexthealmy.com we love you. Thanks everyone for listening. And thank you, Anderson. And thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

Speaking of penises, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. That was a lot of penis, right, Anderson? But what we didn't talk about was a promescent.

What a lot of dick.

Lotta dick. So if he comes little. I don't like that word.

Dick.

That's fine.

Which is worse, dick or pussy?

Dick.

No way.

It's not sexy. Cock is sexier. No, no. Would you Ever. If a woman was talking dirty, would you rather say, I'm gonna suck your dick, or would you rather say, I wanna suck on your cock?

Dick.

Really?

That's me, though.

Interesting.

That's me.

Jesus Christ. We're all so freaking different. Listen, one in three men, they come a little quicker than they want to. Call it premature ejaculation. Just call it being a dude. Women, women, typically, men take about, you know, six to eight minutes. Orgasm. Women can take 20 to 40 minutes. I actually had an angry email Lister say It takes me 40, 50. Why are you saying 20? So what I'm saying is there's an orgasm gap between men and women. Permecent helps you last twice as long. Thousands of urologists recommended it. You put it on your penis.

Thousands of what?

Urologists.

I thought you said your relatives.

My relatives we talk about at Thanksgiving all the time. Yeah, they love it. Promescent.com, check it out. P R O, M E S.

Check it out. Thanks for listening. Sex family. Love you. Hello? Hi, it's me, Ross Matthews, America's Gay. Listen, I get it. Life is hard, okay? We all struggle. Boyfriend problems, girlfriend problems, job problems, life problems, which TV show to watch. Honey, I get it. You need help. That's why I'm here. I'm the gay best friend you wish you had. And honey, you know you need. It's straight. Talk with me, Ross Matthews. This is tough love, honey, but it's worth it. Like plucking or waxing. Get your weekly gay pep talk right here on podcast1.com. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles, and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being, which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free, and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.comsexwithemily for 50 off. And here's a bonus use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q U A L I A life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.