How To Kink It Up

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play.

It is the Hera by Jiu. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jjoo is known for.

Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the.

Same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot.

It's super so soft, ultra quiet, and.

It moves with your body.

So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer.

Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20 off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera. That's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r A so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers.

Powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and.

Serious quality, this is it.

So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Hey, everyone. Welcome to tonight's episode of Sex with Emily. You know the recent popularity in Mainstream erotica like 50 Shades of Grey book series and James Franco has an upcoming kink.com documentary. It has shown a spotlight on the previously underground world of BDSM and kinky sex, often to mixed results. And I know a lot of you are curious about how to have this kind of lifestyle. You just want to branch out. And tonight's show is all about that. It's all all about getting out of your sexual rut. Whether it means getting in some kink or exploring and expanding your sexual curiosities. And here to share their own experiences are Lindsay and Ruhn, the hilarious minds behind Pretty Oddcast. It's a new podcast, takes a look into the alternative lifestyle of fringe subcultures. I am obsessed with my no no pro. Usually I start off I'm talking about a vibrator, but tonight it is my no no pro because it removes all your unwanted hair. You know when you're looking in the mirror, like, I wish I didn't have that hair there on your back. You know, for men, you got your back, your chest hair. Women, our legs, our bikini, you know where the hair is and you just want to get rid of it. And you don't want to shave. You might not have time to shave because it hurts. And all that stuff. The no no pro is the very best way I've ever found, swear to God, to remove unwanted hair. And there's no pain. Zero pain. Like I said, for men too. Whether it's your legs or arms or face and you have weeks and weeks of long lasting results. I do it sitting in front of the television set. I do it when I'm on the phone. I just get rid of all my goddamn hair. And it's awesome. It comes with 100% 60 day money back guarantee when you purchase it. Oh, and you also get a $50 gift card to an award winning skincare line. Go to nonoemily.com that's nonoemily.com and I just have to tell you, I've been talking about this offset and everyone's gonna come up to me like, do you think you can get me one? You can think you can get me one, including Anderson. So everyone check out Nono Pro. That is NonoEmily.com.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cause my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my. Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

You're listening to sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, you go to sexwithemily.com go there right now. Sign up for my mailing list. I have to say, I send really good emails. People like, compliments me on my emails. Like, I've done so much. I've done 2,000 podcasts, I've got three iPhone apps, a book, and people are like, I really like your weekly emails, so you should sign up for them because they're actually entertaining. So go to sexlamme.com and also my podcast. I have two a week. Easily, easily. Subscribe on itunes. Do it. Do it there. Go to my website, listen to it, stream it, download it, however the hell you want. I hope you're all enjoying the show and I love hearing from you. As always, you can send your questions to feedbackexwithemily.com and I try so hard to get to all of your answers. I don't even sleep because I'm trying to answer all your emails. It's frigging crazy. Also, as always, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily. Find me there, Ask me your questions there. Whatever turns you on. And I'm here with Anderson tonight, who was, like, napping. I'm sorry I woke you up to the show. What up, yo, Dude, Why are you so tired?

I don't know. You just feel like it's Monday when you get old. Like me, you have days where you're just like, ah, today's a tired day.

You're not old.

Old, tired day.

Honey, I'm still working on the. No, no pro for you. I just. Let's be clear today. No, I'm serious. Because he said to me during that. When I said that.

Be clear. The no, no is not for me. I'm not a hairy.

That's for your wife. Sorry.

I don't want everyone to think I'm Harry.

I'm telling you. But then. But then today Madison, my assistant, asked me for one. I'm like, I gotta get everyone to know she's super hair. I actually told her she should get one. She didn't ask me. Just kidding, Madison. Anyway, so how. This is kind of like a Loveline show tonight, right?

Keeping it in the family?

Yeah, this is like a little cozy, happy family because we met Anderson, as you know who. People don't know. You've worked on Loveline for 60 years.

Everybody knows. I don't.

But not everyone listens to Loveline. He works. Rune is here. Rune Kincaid. And he is the. What is your official title? I just say you do everything.

Web and video.

Web and video for Loveline. If you guys don't know Loveline, it's love I talk about all the time. It's been around for 30 years. Listen to the podcast. And Lindsay Floyd was my intern, and she moved on to bigger and better things. She's the call screener at Loveline. Well, not better. Lateral move, lateral move. What am I insulting myself?

Smaller. Smaller room.

But now. What'd you say?

She has a smaller room now?

She does have a smaller room, but she has her own room, which you do not.

No, I don't.

She has her own office.

I share.

I know.

My back different.

Well, I love that you guys. So Lindsay. Okay, so I met Lindsay. She was my intern for a few months. And then. And then they were looking for a call screen. I was like, oh, my God, Lindsay's amazing. You love her. And then she's been here, and it's like her whole life has changed. Well, I think it changed in Vegas. We're gonna get to that in a minute. I did take her on a field trip to Vegas. But the two of you came together and you started a podcast.

The Pretty Oddcast.

The Pretty Oddcast.

Yeah.

Congratulations, btw, starting a podcast. Thank you. So fun and exhilarating. You can say whatever the hell you've been wanting to say your whole life out loud.

Yeah, I suppose we can say whatever we want.

Yeah. So tell me about your podcast. How did you come up with this? You're examining subcultures.

Mike and Drew, also from Loveline, made fun of both of us individually for liking the Renaissance Fair and cosplay in general. And they were giving it a pretty hard time on their podcast. And I came in and defended it. And the same thing happened to Lindsay later. We came in, defended it, made big.

Fun of us, said we were nerds, and how could we be into something where people just dress up and act fools?

You really. Cuz you truly. Both of you, like, separate. We're like, I love the Renaissance Fair. You're like, me too. High five. Let's go. Is that how it works?

I've actually never been. Ruhn talked about it quite a bit.

Okay.

Okay, let's check it out. Like, I like to dress up. I like cosplay. And we went and we had a really good time.

So cosplay. Okay, so that's like the thing now. So it's dressing. How do you explain cosplay?

Cosplay. It would be dressing up maybe as it used to be, like a lot of anime stuff, but now. Yeah, it can be. Can be superhero heroes. I think you could even consider the furries, the people dress up as animals, as doing some form of cosplay.

But were you into it before? Like, when you say you're into it, like, you go home and you put on a furry bear costume or, like, when you go out at night or you just.

I wasn't into the furries, but, like, Halloween was always a great holiday.

You're not into the furries?

I wasn't into the furries. Now I'm in the furries.

She works at petsmart.

I want to. I want a furry costume. I got.

You don't have a problem.

Not yet. It costs four grand. Yeah.

No, they don't.

Yeah, elaborate.

That's what this girl told me.

Okay, so is any of it. Yeah.

Before we move on. Cosplay. Is that costume play? Is that what the cause is?

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I hear it tossed around, bandied.

About all the time about it all the time. So I. My mind, of course, goes to sex. Is there a sexual. Like, do you dress up, like, in tight sexy.

Hell yeah. That's the thing.

But is that what yours are?

Well, I mean, my Halloween costumes are.

Btw. Rune's pretty cute himself. We're gonna check a little video. Where do we have the show? But. But do you dress all sexy?

Well, yeah, my costumes are probably a little tighter fitting. I won't feel good about how I look.

I'm not gonna wear floppy. Have you ever worn it during sex?

During sex? I mean, I've done like the lingerie type play, but I mean, that's not real costume, you know, but it's not every day either.

Yeah, okay, got it. So you guys are both into LARPing?

No, not really. No.

How can you explain what LARPing is to the audience at home?

Defended the culture.

LARPing is. It's live action roleplay. So basically, these people make characters. They make stories. They dress up. Some dress up, some don't, but they make these stories and these characters that are really in depth and then they, like, make dramas and like.

So it's like you pay to go to a LARPing show.

You don't pay to go to a LARP.

You.

You create one with like a little community. It's not usually something, is it a party?

Like, I'm having a larping party.

Closer to a party than a spectator event.

Got it. Got it. And then you went to a larp.

Yeah.

So we were defending these weirdos and we decided to go to a larp, I guess. And then we decided to do a podcast about that. Then we decided to find more weirdos doing more weird stuff with their weird times.

Okay.

That's the premise, is we find people doing weird stuff. Or alternative lifestyles.

Alternative lifestyles is a better way to say it. No judgment, right? We can't judge.

I say weird as a neutral.

It's not weird, it's a neutral. I think alternative is such a great word because I guess I just don't judge it. People are like, are you ever surprised by anything you hear? I'm like, no.

Well, I can say weird with affection.

Weird with weird with love and affection. Because you're curious about it.

Or weird.

So you're trying to. No, I'm just. I'm just saying I'm PC, you know, San Francisco. No. Oh, so it's cool. So I get it. People with weird people. Most People listening are be like, that's frigging weird. So I get it. So then. So then you. So you start a podcast and then what? So what so far you went larping. What happened? Did you larp?

We explored larp.

Lindsay, do you throw yourself into it?

I larped. I made myself a character. I was like a wolf girl. My name was Red Renee.

And who did you larp with?

So I found this group of people who have been playing these LARP games for like 30 years. And I got in contact with them and they let us come over to their backyard and like, get it in.

Like, it's in their backyard. Like, they're having like hot dogs and stuff. Like, yeah, they have food.

I was stuffing some cookies down.

Where do they. In la, they had a magical stew.

I was in Long beach magical stew.

And they're like, hey, come in for the larp. What will your name is? Did you make up a name there?

Well, Rune wouldn't play. Who's being kind of lame?

Rune.

So I was read the name.

So Rune, he's too cool to larp.

Yeah, right.

From afar. And also I'm too cool to larp.

I was like a merchant.

So larpy. You can see her being like, I'm just gonna fucking larp. Bring it.

Yeah, right. Come on. If I'm gonna sit there for hours, everyone's just play.

So you got into the role play, but nothing. It's not sexual at all. People, they're doing for fun. It's like playing. It's like playing charades.

In fact, there was a no touching rule.

I think this is what people do instead of sex. Like, usually you have a party and people end up breaking off and having sex. I'm like, no, we're gonna do this larp where for sure no one has sex.

It's like the new Pictionary or something.

I mean, really well, like, people came up to me and they're like, oh, why are you here? Oh, you're selling things. Where did you come from? Cause I was supposed to be like a merchant character and bag of so throughout the night.

It's not like it's a beginning to end. You just. Everyone adopts a character and they talk to you as that character the night.

Right? Well, it's not even for the night. It's for, like, they played a game for seven years where they were the.

Same characters came in as like a new character.

I was just like. Just like walking into a new school. I was like the new girl at school who showed up one day. Except I was the new girl in someone's backyard there.

Strangely, like drinking a beer in the background or something.

No, he wasn't drinking a beer. There was no alcohol allowed. But he was standing there eating pizza.

Need to be drunk. I'd be into the character thing.

Lindsay had to be initiated by the queen of the queen of the Stronghold. Stronghold.

The Freehold.

I think we should do next. Have you guys heard about this? This is what you should do. You should find dates on this Tinder cuddling.

It's called Cuddler.

It's a new app on Tinder. So it says. And I have to talk about this because it just reminded me, like, you guys could totally find it. Like, go on this app and find someone to cuddle with and then talk about it.

That'd be interesting.

But it's freaking crazy because if you guys have abandoned dating apps like Tinder or things like OkCupid. Because doesn't everyone say everyone? You're on Tinder. It's a hookup app. I'm like, it doesn't have to be if you don't wanna hook up. But they're like, this is G rated. People can just get together and say, I just wanna cuddle. You know, instead of receiving like a barrage of dick photos, you get, I don't know, like, someone's arms are holding a teddy bear.

My strong arms to hold you up.

I don't know. Like, you log into the app, it links up with your Facebook profile, start browsing for nearby cuddle partners. And the app is so convinced that users are using it for platonic purposes, it actually omits age and gender in the profile.

Which means that people are like, I'm cuddled my 5 year old. That's not good. I mean, I think this could be dangerous.

I think this app is going to last until the first guy tells someone else that he had sex through it. And then it'll be a day and it'll be over with. It'll be crashed.

Exactly. It's going to be done. It says the guy who invented it said, oh, yeah. Came to the realization people need an app like this because we need touch and we need cuddling in our day to day lives. Which is so true. I actually have to read you a quote that I was hysterical. I listened to Howard Stern, like every day. And he, you know, I'm not gonna find it in this moment. But he was so funny because he was talking about it last night on a show and he was talking about cuddling. And what he said was, because the truth is, like, there was a study that I read in when I was in. Hold on a minute. I'm gonna find this really quickly. There was a study that I read. It was a book. Hold on, I'm gonna find this. Fuck it. I can't find it. Okay, so it talked about a study that a scientist did with these bunny rabbits. And it was. And they took two bunny rabbits. And the bunny rap. Some bunny rabbits were held. And you'll like, we're fond of Lindsay's. A pet person. Dog, animal for everything.

I like bunnies.

Okay, you like bunnies. Good. It was at the bunnies that, like, three times a day, they'd go in and they'd, like, hug the bunnies, and they, like, cuddle bunnies. And then the other set of bunnies didn't get touched for the same amount of time. And then those bunnies got all, like, behavioral problems and were, like, eating each other. But the, like, bunnies for love were much, much sweeter.

We better get cuddled. Ruin. And we might start eating people.

I'm serious. So I think.

This was very true, because I actually love cuddling. And I have to be honest. Like, there's some times where I'm like, I mean, I don't want to cuddle with a stranger. Right. But isn't there lots of times that you just want to cuddle because you don't want to have sex, but you just want to cuddle? But it's really hard for women because guys are like. They get hard, and then they stick their penis against you. Like, I just want to cuddle. Right?

Yeah.

The penis is jabbing your back.

Is that what happens?

Yeah. Yeah. Guys don't want to freaking cuddle. Cuddling. This is what Howard Stern said. Cuddling was invented when one person wanted to have sex and the other person didn't. That's exactly. I don't know. It's not that profound. But that's. I thought it's funny because it's kind of true. Like, no guy was ever like, I assume, like, honey, let's just cuddle.

Let me just hold you, babe. Yeah, right?

Because they get close, you're gonna get a boner, you know? Yeah.

You only do that.

So you guys could do. You could do the cuddle app next. But tonight we're also going to talk about. Because I want to hear more about your latest experience, which I was terrified by your Instagram photo.

Thank you.

They've really branched out, and so tonight I just want to talk about sharing their experiences. But also, we all get sex. Stuck. Sex. Everything I say is sex. Like, I like fumble. I'm like sex. We all get stuck in sexual ruts. Okay? It's, it's. I feel like people are so surprised when this happens, but I receive hundreds of emails a day. Listeners, literally, you see them, Facebook feedback, they're like, I don't know what happened. We've been together three years, we moved in together, but we no longer have sex. It's not that good. And everyday people think they're the only ones suffering from this. And here's the deal. It's gonna happen. It's biology. After about a year, year and a half to two years with someone and you're lucky if it lasts longer, you're gonna have to mix things up. It's just like exercise. You don't do the same exercise every day. You don't have chicken pot pie for dinner every night. And you don't have sex missionary style. Every position. So there's now when I say kink here because we're gonna get into some crazy kinky shit that Lindsay and Ruhn did, which I just, I don't even know what happened, but they went to some crazy club we're gonna talk about. But, but, and I'm not saying you have to build a dungeon in your house, but I am going to give you some tips. Just that like one little thing you can do in your sex life, this one little move once a month, I'm telling you, it will make a world of difference and it can reignite that spark that you are complaining about has dimmed. So I get an email from Ruin a few weeks ago and he's like, hey, Lindsay and I want to like get hooked. Can you hook up with some sex clubs in la? We want to go to like a sex club. And so I know happen to know some of whatever people like them. I haven't actually been yet in la. San Francisco, I was into it, but here I just have been really busy. Anyway, I sent you some names and that's all I know. And then you said to me, should I tell them that I'm coming as a, like investigative or should I just play law? I said, just no, just go in incognito and then talk about it. It'll be great. But I don't know where you end up. All I saw is that you had some wounds. So tell me what happened.

We did not go incognito.

Oh, you told them you were there for research.

Yeah, yeah, there was, there were some other clubs with some stricter Looking guidelines that I thought we might have to incognito if we wanted to go to them. And maybe we will. And we won't say who they are. So they don't know we're coming.

Yeah, don't tell them.

But yeah. With the Threshold Threshold Club in North Hollywood contacted their board. About five people had a long discussion about whether or not we would bring this, you know, shame to their club if we stepped inside.

That was a big deal, us coming.

Wasn't really sure. You like talk to them on the phone, you'll meet with them?

No, it was all emails back and forth from a ton of different people. Just it came down to we weren't allowed to use names and they were going to post a sign that there was going to be media present and we had to sign a. Oh my God. Like a non disclosure agreement. But it worked out well because we.

Were able to get a lot of information. Okay. Because people were willing to talk.

Yeah.

So you go in. Okay. So it's, it's, it's Threshold. And is it. It's a private club. Right. But you could apply and it's. It's bdsm.

Yes.

Okay.

It's actually a non profit.

To promote like people learning about the lifestyle, basically.

Yeah, exactly. And when you say the lifestyle, you mean bdsm. So it's not like swingers. It's like just like getting into like bondage, discipline, sadomasochism, which is if you don't know what it is. Okay, so classes.

Several classes.

That's great. They used to have a place in San Francisco. It's great. Like rope tying. Yeah, like a spanking 101. Which to be honest, who doesn't like to be spanked? I like being spanked. Girls like being spanked. Not, not all of them, but. And there's a way to do it. Like if you spank them once wrong, it's gonna hurt. But there's like a upward motion. Like go take a one on one class. It feels good, Whatever. So you went in, but this was not class night. This was party night. Right.

We went. Well, we went to an orientation first.

Okay.

Which was called clothes on orientation.

BDSM 101.

No, it's just orientation.

Okay.

You have to go to the orientation to be a member of the club. And then we went to a party that Saturday night.

Saturday night. What'd you wear?

I wore a black T shirt and dark jeans.

Okay, got it. So you'd blend right into the darkness.

No, they said to wear if you don't Know what to do. Wear black.

All right. That's what I do all the time.

That was pretty much me too. I just wore black.

Sexy.

Yeah. Tight black tank top and some black heels.

Jeans. Nice. Okay, so you go into the party.

We weren't. We didn't look like we were going to a BDSM club.

I wanted to wear a dog collar, but I was a little nervous. I have a few. I mean, I have dogs. I got spikes. I was like, I clean this up, but at the same time.

Time, you're like, let me just ease into it.

Yeah. I don't want them to just grab you by the collars.

Okay. So you walk into the party. What's it like? Is it at a house, a restaurant?

It looks like an converted warehouse.

Oh, that makes sense. Totally. Of course.

Nice high ceilings.

Yeah. I don't even know why I didn't say that first. Okay. Yeah.

Fire extinguishers on hand.

Music.

Yeah, music. It was low lit, you know. Of course. Had the leather top tables and chairs to tie you to and the sideways crosses to, you know, bind hands and legs.

And what was the crowd like?

Diverse. Very diverse.

Okay.

Of all ages, men, women, sizes.

All ages, yeah. What was the median age?

30S.

Yeah, late 30s.

For median age or was there singles?

About 50%. The people we talked to said it was usually about 50%. Came with a partner.

Okay. Someone they've been with. Okay. And then was it any organized, like, no, we're gonna go paddle or. No, it was just kind of like play. It was a play party.

It was a play party. It was one big main room where anyone could play. You know, you could watch people playing. You know, just be respectful. Don't jump in between them without asking.

And no solo masturbation.

That was no me. No solo masturbation.

Then off of the main hall, there was like a. After the main room, there was a long hallway with like, eight smaller rooms that were set up with different themes. There was like an older style classroom. There's like a spider room. A medical room.

Oh, right. So you could play out different scenarios. Yeah.

So you could play out different scenes. And you were able. You were actually allowed to.

Dirty bathroom, right?

No dirty bathroom.

Oh, they had that. They had that@kink.com in San Francisco. Had a, like, it looked like a truck stop bathroom. Oh, but they had all the other things you said in medical with a glory hole. Yeah.

For a good time call.

Yeah. And a jail and all that. Okay, but exactly.

Jail. And a throne room.

Okay. So you go in and you Start. Is there alcohol?

No, this is a non drinking.

God. Jeez. Okay, so then no alcohol, and you just walk around. You start talking to people or do you. Yeah, you walk up. What was the first thing you saw?

The first thing I saw was a lady strapped to a bench with her shirt off, being whipped on the chest with what? I think like, either a belt or a whip.

Do you know the difference? Like, was it. Was it a. Was it a flogger?

Not that moment then. I was just saying, whoa, boobs, whips, yao.

There's a lot of boobs out. That was like the first shocking thing.

And did it look painful? Like, were the women like, oh, or was it softer? Was there feathers, too? What was it?

I would say, I mean, so you did hear. I mean, especially as it got later, like, you were hearing, like, people getting slapped, people crying out, like, moans. It was just like sex everywhere.

Were people having sex, though?

They weren't allowed to have sex at this party.

Okay. Because that's how. Because. Because it turns you out a lot. So everyone went home and had. It's great.

Yeah. No oral to genital and no genital to genital contact.

And it was mostly heterosexual couples or was it both?

It was both.

Okay.

Yeah. I mean, we didn't see any male on male, but we saw a lot of female and female.

Okay, and what did you learn? What was shot? What was.

Well, we learned all about the toys. And like.

Like, they took you around. They're like, this is a flogger with leather.

This is a pad.

Okay, what did you, like, what did you learn? Kind of. I don't mean to say.

Oh, no. Well, they were showing us the paddling. They were talking about not wanting to hit people along the spine, you know, not wanting to hit the top of your butt because it can be more sensitive.

Right.

Kind of hitting below the cheek.

Exactly. You got to get the chee.

Yeah, you kind of like slapping it up. They talked about starting soft and then working up in intensity. So that way your body's, like, adjusting. It's not just shock.

You have to work up.

I thought it was really interesting, too. They talked about something called aftercare. And it was like, after you guys are done, you know, with your play that you seen, or your scene, as they called it, you sat there with your partner and you, like, almost comforted them because they talk about how you get kind of a high from it.

Yeah, Endorphins.

And it's. You know, you come down and you're kind of out of it. So it's Important to, like, sit there and make sure you're okay after that.

Absolutely. That's. That's one of the main tenets of it. And then also. Safe words. I'm sure they talked about that.

Yeah.

And then did you participate?

We participated a little bit, Ruhn. More so than I. I just got some paddling and flogging by one of the board members.

Okay. How did you like it?

I liked it.

Had you been paddled before?

I mean, I've been spanked by my partners with, like, a bad.

How you guys doing?

But this guy, he's drunk, but, you.

Know, did he use an upward motion?

I'm kidding. I don't know her boyfriend. But. But did he.

Did he strike the bottom?

No. See, this is true.

He did. That's the thing is. Yeah, he. He started light. You know, he smacked under my bottom. This guy, you know, he had different paddles. He got spanked by a Bible. Oh, I was there. I turned on flogs. He had, like, this rowel type tool. Looked like a spur that you might use when you ride a horse. And it was pokey. And, like, he rolled it across my skin. Like, it felt kind of good. It made rune itch.

So you turned on, but not because of the guy, or was it more about how it made you feel?

Because it was kind of how it made me feel. It was just. It felt good, Right?

Like. Cause it's also. Like your butt. Like, it's also close to your genital, right?

It kind of jiggles everything.

It jiggles. It's not like you're in your butt. Like you're all those things. Your clitoris, your labia. Like, it's all shaken together. It's all connected, right? Yeah. It's hot. It's turned on. Yeah. Okay.

Lindsay spanked my butt.

She did? With a paddle?

Yeah, with the Bible.

Did you like the Bible pattern? The Bible?

Yeah. A solidified Bible.

Those are so altern.

My grandma's rolling over in her grave.

But really, I mean, I'm Jewish, but that doesn't sound good.

Count Boogie was the guy showing us this stuff. He also had, I thought was creative. A paddle he'd constructed out of CDs he didn't listen to anymore. So he just had a stack glued together on a stick.

People have so much time on their hands. No, but really, people are into it. Make their own things. Okay, so, Ru, what happened to you? Because I saw. I thought, like, it looked like you were, like, a burn victim or something.

I did. I did a scene. I did a s. And m. Scene.

A scene.

A scene. That's what they call it when you kind of sign up for a room and you go in and you do a scene.

Who did you do the scene with?

Lady Shiva. One of the board members of the club.

Great. So she knew what she was doing.

Yeah.

And what happened, Expert?

I went in, I went to the harem room where they actually have stocks. So you can put people in the stocks and then auction them off to other people. But the stocks were a little broken, so I just leaned on it. I had my shirt off.

Lean onto what?

On the stock.

On the stocks.

On the top of stocks.

If you imagine it's like a wooden frame and you would lock someone's head and arms inside of it.

Like the old timey. Remember, like in the medieval times?

Yeah, yeah, totally. I got it. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I got it. Couldn't. My brain fires slowly sometimes, believe it or not. Yeah. So she locked you in. You were leaning up against it.

Yeah.

So you're not. You're just like on a. Like a 90 degree, 45 degree angle.

Probably 45 degree, just angle.

That's what I mean, 45 leaning over. Got it.

I meant 45 standing up with something to lean on.

Okay, got it. Your hands are up.

Yep.

Is your black shirt taken off?

Yeah, I took my shirt off.

Okay. So you rocking the sexy black jeans?

Yeah. I thought that was a good look. Thank you. Someone else made fun of me for that look.

Who made fun of you?

I think it was the after disaster.

No, actually, I was standing outside the room with some girl. We were kind of biting our nails and watching.

Okay, so what happened? So did she warm you up?

She showed me all her weaponry.

All her efflements? Yes.

Her crops, her whips.

How old is she? Is she attractive? Are you not attracted to her?

She's attractive. She was. I don't want to guess an age on her.

It's okay. It doesn't matter. I meant were you attracted to. It doesn't matter how old she is. But she was okay.

She was not unsightly.

Perfect.

Yeah. She had a baseball bat, an aluminum like child's T ball bat painted pink.

That makes it cheery. Were you nervous?

Not one. No, not once we'd arranged it.

Okay, so what happened? So your arms are up?

Yeah. And she hit me with stuff.

Like for how long? Because you're back. No. What's your Instagram Rune?

Kincaidkaid R H U N E K I N C A I D And his back.

There's like scratches and welts it looked like.

Well, she started with her hands. She would kind of rub, like a massage, and then bat. With a closed cupped hand kind of. And she'd scratch, like, her nail.

Those were scratch marks. Did it hurt?

Yes.

Okay.

It hurt.

And were you did. But was any part of you aroused?

No. It was a. No, not a boner moment.

Not a boner moment. You're like. It was just like a painful, like, I knew my Ben Gay moment.

Oh, what?

Whatever.

Beng Gay.

I don't know. Isn't that for your muscles?

Yeah.

Icy hot. Oh, yeah. Didn't think of that.

Was it more like in the name of art? This is gonna be a great story. Is that what you're doing? My podcast is gonna work.

I was determined because Lindsay didn't want to do a scene with anyone or.

That's not true.

Lindsay didn't do a scene with anyone.

Organized. I thought she got spanked.

I got spanked.

Mr. Crazy Cast or whatever.

I didn't get crazy sexual. I had a few people I was eyeballing, I won't lie. But they were busy, so I didn't get.

They would have taken your ass. Sweet ass. Anytime, though, even if they were busy. But so ruin. So how long did this whipping session go on?

You got an introductory spank on the pants. I got whips on bare flesh. The whole thing.

Yeah. How long were you. Because that looked serious. I was like. I was gonna bring you some. I was gonna bring you some Neosporin today and, like, call the hospital and some band aids.

I think I kind of lost track of time. It felt like maybe 10 minutes to me.

I mean, you weren't miserable.

No, it was.

Because you said on the podcast that you enjoyed it some.

Yeah, it was relaxing.

It was relaxing, really. And not more. More relaxing than painful or after a while, you. Because a lot of people, you know, they. It is connected. Feel like. I can't imagine that being beaten or whatever, but there it is. Very similar. Pain and pleasure are very linked, and that's what they were talking about emotionally and physically. And so it's the same kind of endorphins. It's the same kind of thing that can easily transfer for some people, and it's not for everybody, which is what I'm gonna get into in a minute is about how to bring this stuff into your sex life. Not necessarily. You don't have to be scratched down by a woman at a club, but other things you could do. But we're gonna get to that in a minute. But you were a little Then, you.

Know, it was painful, but it only lasts for seconds. The. The whips and crops and canes and flails and flogs back and do it.

Or this is purely.

Well, the.

This.

It's like the snap lasts for a second, but then it kind of. It just kind of. It. It clears your brain out a whole lot.

I know it does. It totally resets you. I mean, I've, you know, I've had my fair share. I was a guy who's really into spanking and I. And I think. I mean, granted, it's not like I need to be spanked every time, but. But I feel like a lot of women. Anderson, before your wife, do you ever spank a woman? He's chewing.

I've spanked.

You've spanked?

I've spanked some people.

I have a woman who doesn't.

I have little sisters, so I have to spank them all the time.

You know what I mean? And I don't mean, like in an aggressive way, but there's something about it feels. I don't know, it's good. It's like naughty. And it really does get your things jiggling around. But when we get back, we're going to give you some more tips on how to just kind of spice things up in the bedroom. And it might have to do a little bit spanking, but I've got to give you a little bit of tying your partner up. But first, a shout out to our sponsors. Thanks, everyone, for listening to this show and supporting my sponsors who help keep this show free so you can enjoy it and have better sex. So Fleshlight is the number one sex toy for men and it's probably the only one you actually want, even if there was something else to choose from, which there isn't because they're the best on the market. So how's this? Here's the Fleshlight. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even when you didn't have a partner? The Fleshlight, it simulates the sensations of real sex. It's a male masturbation sleeve. Ruhn, don't you have one?

I have.

Didn't Fleshlight send him here?

I have three because the other box full, so I took some home.

Did you try it?

Yeah. And it's more like a vagina than your hand.

Okay. Right. So did you think it was kind of nice to mix it up sometimes? Like you don't. Not every time. But did it feel good? Yeah, it felt like a vagina to me. That feels better than a hand. But I don't have a dick, so I don't know. But it's a male masturbation sleeve and you have the option to use your hand for the rest of your life. But I've got 600 sex toys. Personally, there's thousands of them on the market. Women have all these choices and there's a reason for it. It's not because you can't get us off. It's because we like little different sensations everywhere. And this is what the Fleshlight would do. Just mix it up. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. It's like sex in a can. It's body safe. You can use it over and over again. And it provides variety. Because men want experiment. Also help you last longer in bed. So check it out. Go to sexwithemily.com if you love me and click on the Fleshlight banner. When you buy it, that is. Go to sex with emily.com, click on the Fleshlight banner. Oh, and my. And Madison, my intern, you got to check out her post on my website, sexwith.com about her boyfriend. My boy's new toy. And did you write two on the Fleshlight or just one on the Fleshlight? You wrote it's two. She's got Madison's great. Check out our blog is hilarious. And this blog is great. How she handed over to her boyfriend and she hasn't seen him, so. Just kidding. It's not about that, but it's how we like it also. Okay, Down Under Comfort, everyone. You know I have a product line, emilyandtoni.com and there's nothing else like our product called Down Under Comfort. In fact, Maxim magazine, Men's health magazine named it the number one product that you didn't know you needed ruin. You've used it as well, right?

I use it on my fingers.

You do? Oh, playing guitar.

Yeah, playing guitar.

Yeah.

But keep sweat off the strings.

Like we started out saying, yeah, it's your balls sweat, but it keeps you fresh and dry. Women use it. Lindsay, you sit under your breasts, lower back, ladies, like anywhere, you sweat all day long. Keeps you fresh. And you might think I just showered this morning and I'm so fresh. But guess what hygiene number one complaint from men and women about in the bedroom. So you think you're all fresh because you showered and she's not gonna give you a blow job because you're not so fresh. So use Gender Comfort. It's a cream to a powder formula. Talcum powder is carcinogenic. Stop using It. And this from a listener. After being a baby powder man for most of my adult life, I can't imagine a day without this. My girlfriend's a big fan as well. Any guy who says that his girlfriend won't go down needs to try the stuff. She loves it. Balls are no longer lonely. From one of my listeners. Go to emilyandtony.com and get down on an offer right now. Use coupon code Emily for 20% off your first order. And one time. And you know, I have the candles as well. The Emily Tony candles. Rune. Okay. Not like you. Rune was like, emily, do you have a candle? Do you candle? Because I've given everyone here at Loveline candles. They're the amazing massage candles that smell great and you massage your partner. Anyway, I was like, sure. He's like, can I get like. Like a fougere or something? I'm like, yeah. And I gave him one. You said it was for someone else or for you. For someone you may.

It was gonna be. But you gave me Lindsay's favorite flavor.

I know, but then he said to me, oh, it was actually for Lindsay. She didn't want to ask you. Why wouldn't you ask me for a candle?

Because you'd already given me like three of them. I felt a little bad.

But you're like, I love you. I love you. You guys here family. You want candles? I'll give you candles. But it was like, I'm like, why would you not.

Smells so amazing.

Which is your favorite?

The fougere.

I know. I love fougere. That's actually. It's hard to explain.

Yum.

I love the coconut and the vanilla, but it's like. Like, we thought that it's more musky, but I just. I love the fougere as well. It's awesome. So. Okay, so let's talk about some kink. Okay, guys. And so pretty oddcast. You gotta check it out. Rune and Lindsey's podcast. Get iTunes, Prettyodcast.com.

Yeah.

So they're gonna start doing. Is all your stuff gonna be sex and alternative stuff?

No, it's not all sex, but we'll probably visit it a few times in a few different ways.

I've got some ideas for you too. And I'm actually doing some stuff that you guys. We could do together.

Nice.

It was a threesome. Actually. Ruin. This was my way to ask you to.

I'm so excited.

Really? Yeah. You wanna have one?

Let's do it.

Okay. We'll talk about it.

Sweet.

Okay. Off the air, though. And you can come to Anderson. We can have a foursome. He's not even listening. Okay, listen. So what I'm saying earlier is that people, all the time, they're bored with their sex life. What the hell do I do? And a lot of times, here's the dilemma is that I get emails from male listeners or female, not discriminating. They're like. Like, my partner, you know, my husband, I really want to try something different. And I keep talking about watching porn together, and he says, no, nothing, we're fine. Or vice versa. And that's a problem, because if you're in a relationship where you want to try something, your partner's just completely shut down. It feels like a dead end. It feels like you're like, I don't know how I'm going to get my partner to open up to. This is something I really want. And when someone just says no, I'm shut down. Just like all those couples are like, I want to go to therapy. She won't. It's like, it's hard to convince your partner, so. So the thing is, you got to work into it slowly. It's not like you're gonna come home with, like, some whips and chains and stuff, but it starts with conversation. And it starts with, you gotta figure out the way to get your partner to start talking about this stuff. Because if you just say, I wanna spice it up. I wanna have a threesome with your hot friend, which you should never say, by the way, or, I want you to watch horn, that kind of sounds like a demand. And if it's something outside her box or his box, they're gonna completely shut down and say no. Because I think mostly what we're talking about here, about being kinky and spicing up, is just about being. Because a lot of people, you know, missionary, doggy style, we do this, we do that, fall asleep, you know, watch SportsCenter, whatever guys do. But there are so many, like, different variations.

I always try to mix the sports center in.

Do you. You're one of those guys. I know it. So. So if. If your partner is, you know, a little, like, I'm gonna give you some tips here. So first of all, what is kinky sex? And the definite definition, it definitely varies on who you're talking to. Like, how would you guys describe kinky sax?

I think it's anything outside of missionary.

Yeah.

You know, just kind of basic going at it. You know, it's kind of pushing limits.

Pushing limits. Yeah.

I liked when you had that lady and she had the Flogger with the like metal bow.

Oh, she was. That was such a great show. What was her name? She was at Bondessage.

Yeah, Bondessage.

That was a great show, everyone. Check it out. Bondessage.

Even in your book, talking about using just like a feather. A feather or like a strand of pearls.

Exactly. It's just so little different sensations. You blindfold your partner.

Well, first of all.

Or a baseball bat. It goes.

No, baseball. We're not starting with that. What would you define? Kinky?

Yeah, Extraordinary. A little different.

A little different. Little out there.

I don't think like as when we were at the club, they, you know, described us, you know, it doesn't take much to really define something as kinky.

It doesn't have to be scary either.

No, it doesn't. That's what I want to talk about. Go back to the feather thing. So I always say, like, okay, if your partner. What if you just say to your partner who isn't agreeing to try something kinky, this is what you do to ease into it. This is my perfect scenario. You say, honey, I want to give you a massage tonight. It's all about you. I want to relax you. Because first of all, the reason why massage works is. And guys have been using this for years. Did you guys in high school, Lindsay were like, can I give you a massage?

Only one. But it was only feet. It was really weird. He's a weird guy. He like always wanted to touch my feet.

I had this guy, he was helping me with my math. So I let him do it, but he gave me a back rub. And then he like to do a little side boob. I was a senior or whatever. And I let him do the side boob because he was finishing my math for me. But no but always have been like, I'll give you a massage. But the truth massage is that one of the biggest killers of all of our sex drives is stress and anxiety. And we come home from work, you move some for a while. You're no longer in that ripping, you know. You know, when you first date someone, you've sex like every time. You see each other three times. And after a while you're like, you make a turkey sandwich, you watch tv, you know, you don't get around to sex. So I want to give you massage, you know, because so stress is a huge killer. You come home of it. So you're like, you set the atmosphere. It can just be candle. And that's why again, I was think. People think I over. I've changed my ways. And I'm not trying to overplug my candle, but it is a massage candle.

It's amazing.

And, and it just smells like, people are obsessed with it. It just, you can just light it as a. It looks like a regular candle. Like, I gave it to my friend, she's like, can I open in front of my 6 year old? I'm like, it's a freaking candle. It's not a vibrator. I mean, really. They're beautiful candles from France. And they're all vegan except for the beeswax part. And it burns, it burns cooler than wax. And it turns into oil. Like lovely, warm massage oil. Not hot, not waxy. You're gonna burn your partner. It's not sticky and, and it smells amazing. So it's like aromatherapy. And again, you could, you don't have to use a massage candle. You could use massage oil, light candles and use just regular massage oil.

Or use a regular candle. There's wax play.

There is wax play. But I would not recommend that because regular candles hurt.

Take a class first.

Take a class first at the threshold. But, yeah, so whatever you're using and then you just, you pour. If you're using the candle, you pour it on your partner and you just say, you know, you play some music and you start massaging them. And you might be like, I don't know how to massage. Just. I'm telling you, if you rub oil on someone's body, it's gonna fucking feel good on the back. And then you could flip them over and you could say, you know what? I wanna blindfold you. I have a surprise for you. And it doesn't have to be a fancy blindfold. It can be a necktie, it can be a scarf. And you blindfold them. Okay, I'm just gonna use a male, for example. So Lindsay's with Rune. They're not a couple yet.

Oh, Jesus.

Just kidding.

So, and then Rune comes home, he's stressed. He's like, those love loving people. Anderson was driving crazy. Emily just kept talking all night. Whatever. He comes home, he's really stressed. I'm just pretending hypothetically. And she's like, let me give you a massage. She gives you a massage and then she's like, wait, I got a little surprise for you. So it's not like weird or whatever. And you know, and she gets, she's like, I'm gonna blindfold you. I've got something. Now, some guys might be freaked out by blindfolds, but I think you should just go with this or girls are Too. But it's if you're with someone you trust. So you leave the room and you come back and you're gonna get a bowl of ice cubes. You're going to have a feather and what else we have like those balls and.

Yeah, like maybe just a necklace.

Yeah, a necklace or a string of pearls or just a necklace, a little.

Chain, a light chain.

And then the great thing about. So you flip them over. The great thing about blindfolding someone is that the second you take away one sensation like you, one sense, like everything else becomes intensified. So your hearing, your scent, your taste. So automatically you're feeling more intensity. You don't realize it, but you're blocking out your eyesight. So then the next thing you could do is, you know, you could already pour the warm oil on it. And then you mix and you put an ice cube in your mouth. Pretend you guys are together and you put that ice cube in your mouth. And they don't. See, the thing is they don't know what's coming. And you take your teeth and you like slowly like drip it down. Like you rub it down as chowder. Right. Turn them on a little bit. Maybe you get just right to the part where you're gonna, you know, whatever, and you just go back up again. Because you're teasing, right? Teasing is another thing that goes away in long term relationships. He was like, what do you mean tease? Or the anticipation that the build. The build that is also especially for many women. I think we need to be turned on. So now we're turning Roon on, whoever it is. And then after that he's like, oh, it's cold. And then you could go back to the, you know, the hot, the wax. And then you could take like yes, a feather and just start tickling them like around his face. Kiss him. Light kisses. And this is all just. That's not too kinky crazy. But it's kind of sexy and hot, right? I mean, you don't know what's coming. It's fun because you massage and then you whip off the blindfold and you have great sex. But it's a great way just to get you out of your head and into your body. And it's exciting and thrilling because you're. What do you think? Have you ever done anything like that?

Yeah, I've done it a little bit. I think it's bonding too. Because you don't know what's ties, you know?

Oh, it's bonding.

No, yeah, like bonding with a couple. Bond with your partner.

Absolutely.

Because you don't know what's coming. And you know, and then once you get through it, you're like, oh, wow. Like, that was nice. I didn't know what they were gonna do, but it turned out great. Or I liked it or. Or it didn't turn out great. But we talked about it. Now we're closer for it.

Exactly. And it was just something different. And it felt good and it wasn't too threatening. How do you feel about your massage?

I don't think I'd trust Lindsay with a blindfold. She's a little wild.

She's kind of wild girl.

And angry.

She's still not angry. You made her angry. I don't think she's angry. No.

I think she's a bar fighter.

I'm a bar fighter.

Yeah. You want to start bar fights?

I do, yeah. No, not me. I'm peaceful.

I don't know. I gotta go out and party with you guys because I hear these things. But some other things, again, that aren't like, so like if you don't have to build a dungeon is, you know, bring a vibrator into the bedroom.

I've talked. If you just your first show, you'll be surprised to know maybe, or not that I'm a huge fan of sex toys. Not just for men. I am. Not just for women, but for men. Have I given you a vibrator yet? I give you a cock ring? No.

Yeah, you did.

Did you use it?

No, dude.

Sorry.

Okay. Lindsay, I gave you vibrators.

Oh my gosh. I got so many toys.

How many? What was your favorite?

I loved the Aquarabbit.

Is that what The Aqua Rabbit from Good Vibes Pleasure Works. The one that, with the little.

Oh, no, actually I like the Mimi way better.

Oh, the Mimi. I gave you the Mimi. Yay.

That's amazing.

Well, you guys know that is my absolute favorite. You can get it@goodvibes.com and use coupon code Emily. Or just you know what you do, go to sexemily.com, click on Emily. The Good Vibes banner on all my favorite toys. I've been talking to them. Do you know that I didn't even know, like, they weren't my sponsor. Nothing. They still aren't. I increased their sales by 54% last year.

Did you really?

I friggin love it because. Why? Handheld vibrator rechargeable.

It's easy. Yeah, it's rechargeable. I don't have to put batteries in it. It's really easy to clean. I can take a shower.

I Take it anywhere, Quiet, discreet, and great to use during intercourse. So women, a lot of times need extra clitoral stimulation, Rune, if you didn't.

Know this I've heard.

And you can use it during sex because your penis might not be hitting her clitoris in the right way. And this way, she'll make a double org. It's not like it's taking away from you. It's actually making it more pleasurable for her. And men like the vibrations, too. Men think vibrations are only for women. But I'm telling you, put a little Mimi on your balls on a low thing, it's gonna feel good.

My friend confessed to doing that. He was telling me how he and his girlfriend love. Oh, can you get us one of those vibrators? We love it. Like, she holds it on my balls while we have sex. It feels great.

Exactly. Not too. I know you gotta be careful with the balls, but a lot of guys. That's why the vibrating penis rings are great. There's one called the Mio, also by Jaeger.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, the Mio cock ring. It's a great one, reusable. But then there's some by screaming O, which, if you've never tried one, it's like seven bucks. So I'm just thinking that they increase your chance also of the woman of orgasm during intercourse, which only 30% of women orgasm actually during penetration. And if you choose a position like doggy style, like, or missionary, with your legs over shoulders, you can place the vibrate on your clitoris, apply pressure while he thrust in and out. Now, that's not too crazy. But if you've never done it before, try it with your partner. You know, say, hey, I've got this toy. I'm telling you, I've never heard from a guy who's been like, we pulled out a toy. It was the worst day of my life. Like, no one ever says, bad idea. Okay, then spanking. Okay, let's get into the spanking. Since Lindsay's a pro now, there's something about it makes you feel naughty. Like girls, like the little. I think it's because we're supposed to be good girls. And we don't want to admit, like, this goes back to, like, archetypes. But we don't want to seem like we want sex and body or being punished or we're not allowed to. We're bent over our lover's knee. Kind of like that scene. Have you guys ever seen Secretary Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader?

Lindsey doesn't watch movies.

I Don't either. What do you like my movie reference? Anderson?

That was a good one.

Thank you. If you decide to receive a little nice spank, be open to it. This can be. You gotta let go of feeling silly so your hand can deliver hard slack like you guys learned. So start slowly and alternate between butt cheeks. Did you guys learn that?

Yes.

Check in with your partner to make sure you're both enjoying the experience. And if you need to mix up the pressure, the best part is the padded part of the butt and the thighs. You don't want to injure someone, and you want to go slow and you want to check in. But I'm telling you, like, just try. See how it feels. Ask her. So can I, you know, start lightly and again. Soft spanks don't go whap. If you've never spanked her before, you.

Have to be careful to avoid those. The front side of the thighs also be painful.

That can be really painful. Right? So spanking is fun. Take a course on it. Just do it slowly. Watch a video.

Also, one of my favorite positions for couples, mutual masturbation. Have you guys ever done it? Mm, yeah. Okay, because the thing about mutual masturbation is over there.

No, I don't think I've done mutual masturbation.

Okay, so let me tell you why mutual masturbation is so hot. Because let's say you've been with some for a while. It's getting a little bored, or maybe it's even new, and you're like, I don't know how to make an orgasm. Or what does he like? Like, you both masturbate naked. Obviously you're floating around, and then you both touch yourself and you look at each other, which is. Can be very hot to have them look at you. Plus, you're giving them all the information they need to know how you touch yourself. So, like, I've been with guys. I'm like, oh, so he's. He's touching his balls or he's not, or he's moving his hand up and down. Like, I kind of learn stuff. And then, like, with guys, you'll see, oh, she's rubbing her in circles or whatever it is. You just learn, and it's super hot. And then you have sex after.

I think that might have been allowed at the threshold party we went to.

No, I think hands were fine.

They said you could.

No, but you could touch yourself.

No, you could touch. If you guys agreed that you were comfortable to do that with each other, then, yeah, I was totally okay. They did no mouth to Genital. No genital.

But then. So penises were out.

We actually didn't see any. We saw a lot of boobs out. But vaginas, yeah, we saw. I saw a lot of vagina.

A lot of butts.

Nice vagina. Do you see a variation of vagina? I mean, they're all like snowflakes, so.

A good distance from exposed vagina when you're in the hallway and they're in the room. So I don't want to judge. Oh, you went up close.

I didn't go up close. Just from outside the room out. She completely spread her legs. I felt a little bad, but I thought I witnessed.

Yeah, I went to a sex party once and everyone was just having sex everywhere. And after a while I was just like, oh, I'm just jumping over women.

Yeah. I felt after three minutes I was like, super comfortable.

Yeah, cool. I know. I was on a porn set once too, and I. Not the one that I filmed this year, which I wasn't naked in, but. But a few years ago, it turns out it was James Dean's first film and I didn't even know. He wasn't famous then, obviously, so I didn't know. But after a while you're like, wow, I'm in a porn set. And then I was like, I'm on a porn set. Like 12 hours later. Will he just come already? I'm hungry. And you just like anything. Like, you get in there and you're like, oh, it's so exciting. But then it's whatever. So role playing, another great way to spice it up. Like, if you wanna, like, dress, dressing up. Women like feeling sexy and dressing up. And don't you like if a woman did a striptease for you?

I do not. Every guy does. Some guys are pretty serious, straight to business. But I do.

Most guys are straight to business. And I'm saying women like to be. Feel sexy and cherished. And so if she dresses up for you, guys don't give a about laundry. I don't have to do a survey about this women. It makes us feel sexier. And yes, we want you to notice it, but most times you don't. But if you could just take a moment and be like, oh, that's hot.

I have noticed every single time a woman has worn lingerie, for me, I really, absolutely noticed.

Oh, you're a good man.

Made comment. You did? Yeah.

How is that? So I know you've gone through breakup up. It's been like, how long now?

Seven months.

Okay, you're good.

You're like, yeah, I'm good.

Color in your cheeks. We were worried about you for a while, but okay. Have you. Are you doing better since the breakup and you feel like it was a good thing?

I'm ready to get back.

Have you had sex yet? Since.

No.

Okay.

Sorry.

And you guys have good sex? Have you. What's the best sex you've ever had in your life? Like, can. Do you have a moment in your life where you're like, wow. I always ask people, why. Why was it so, what was it? What made it. What was the most amazing sex you had?

I don't know what it was, but it was a one night stand really. It fit in very nicely.

Yeah, exactly. You never talked to her again, obviously. What made it so great? One thing that happened that night that made it so great, was she just so hot? Were you just so drunk? Did she do something? She gave you the best blowjob of your life. Like, what does that mean?

It was like a five night stand, but high and very high enthusiasm, a lot of passion.

So she was just like into it?

That was the intuitness.

Yeah, it is. That's the number one tip for blowjob women.

And I don't even care if I'm real or not.

Right? Who cares? Who cares if she's facing it? You got to be enthusiastic. If you're giving him a blowjob and you look like you'd, you know, you're about to throw up or you, you'd rather be anywhere else on the planet, he's gonna know and he's not into it. Like, fake it till you make it. Cuz I think they are. I find them very enjoyable. I think a lot of women have negative. You can change it around if you don't enjoy it. But what are you, what about your, like, best sex ever? Like, is there like a night or something happen in your life? You're like, wow, that was. Was fun. Or that was my most memorable.

I think I wouldn't pinpoint it on a specific night, but there have been instances and I think the biggest factor was just being really comfortable with the person. I think that I was brought up in a way where sex was like really bad and I felt shameful even thinking about it. So by the time I started doing it, I was just like super uncomfortable. And I don't even feel like. I feel like maybe I haven't even had a full orgasm at this point in my life.

You haven't?

Because I just was so ashamed.

Oh.

At that point, you know, so now I feel Like I've finally been having good sex and it's because I'm comfortable. I mean, it hasn't been much recently.

But I'm too busy LARPing.

I'm comfortable with myself, but I'm comfortable with my partners. And it makes like such a big deal and just knowing that it's okay to have sex and we're all doing it.

We're tending far too many events with no sex or no alcohol.

I know you're. No, but it is true that a lot of young, young women and older women of all ages, but especially when you're in your 20s, you're both. I heard today that you're not in your 20s.

I'm out of my 20s.

I thought you were like 24 7.

Barely out of my 20s.

Barely. But, but it's true that younger women and men, we don't have a lot of confidence. We don't have a lot of experience. Actually. We're worried about like our bot. Is he looking at my left boob? He's bigger than my right. Is he looking? No, he's happy he's having sex with you. But we take a long time to get over that.

Comfortable.

But once we get comfortable with our bodies and we know what we need to get us turned on, it's freaking awful. Awesome.

Yeah, let's speed that up, ladies.

Yeah, I know. I'm trying. Last week's show with Robin Anton, who's from the Pussycat Dolls, we talked a lot about like self esteem and how women can kind of get comfortable in their own bodies and men too. It was really good.

So yeah, I think the AVN's really kind of.

Oh my God. I want to talk to you about that. Okay. So I took. I gave the keynote at the AVN Awards this year in Las Vegas. It's the basically Oscar. Porn.

Porn Oscars.

Porn Oscars.

I gave the keynote, it's in Las Vegas and it was, it was crazy. Like when women were getting like their vagina. Fleshlight vaginas molded public people were having sex. It was porn stars everywhere. And Lindsey's like, before I knew it, like just started being my. You were my intern for a few months. Yeah, she works at Petsmart and she seems sort of innocent and just sweet. Yeah, I know that you're not innocent, but she's like sweet. And she was friggin amazing. First of all, she's my intern. She kicked ass. She sat at my booth. She was just like the hardest worker and so amazing. But you also had a lot of fun.

Oh, I Had a great time.

And I feel like it was, like, somehow transformational for you.

I think it really was. Like, it took me from person A to person B. I completely changed.

How could you explain that?

Like I said, I was brought up where sex wasn't really something I was comfortable with. And I think in my relationships, I wasn't comfortable. So I kind of let everyone else do, like, the talking and the controlling. And at the point, going to the avians, I was recently out of a relationship, which wasn't the best one. And it was just all these people.

And all the guys loved you.

It was all these people who are really comfortable talking about sex, comfortable with their body, comfortable about talking about just pleasuring themselves. And I just realized, you know, it's okay to want to feel good. It's okay to have sex.

No, no.

They actually. They're like. I think they're kind of shocked, but at the same time, I'm a lot happier.

I'm so glad, you know, I'm a lot more comfortable. That made me a person.

Emily changed my life.

I love it. I love it. I love it. No, I'm glad because I just remember, like, you were like a different per. You were, like, cried. It was good. It was cathartic.

It was good stuff. It was all good stuff.

It was a good time.

And you met my favorite porn star. Who?

Which one?

Siri.

Siri. Oh, did you? Oh, I gave you the Siri. She was on our show.

Yeah, I met Siri, too.

And I gave you the. Her photograph. Her autograph, didn't I? Or did another porn star. Oh, she did. Oh, I told her to give it to you. That's right. No, Right?

No. There's another one. I gave you porn star that you had. Cheer me up.

I can't remember. She cheered you up, like, with a blowjob. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Autograph. But thank you.

I try. Honey, I just wanted you to cheer up all these months, but now you guys are doing pretty oddcast, which is awesome.

Yeah.

That's fun, right?

More adventures on the horizon.

I love it. What's next?

Either Octoberfest at Alpine Village or Roller Derby. Some haunted houses on the menu.

Okay. I love it.

Some elaborate interactive haunted houses on the menu. Kamikaze.

Kamikaze.

That's. And we did do Comic Con. Kamikaze is a little more intimate.

We already did Comic Con. We went to a cat show.

A cat show.

That was interesting.

Cat show was awesome.

Excuse me, please hold the doors. It's a cat loose.

Oh, my God. That's great, you guys. Okay, everyone can follow it. Pretty oddcast. Find you on iTunes, prettyodcast.com and your Twitter is pretty oddcast. Okay, same on Facebook or same on Facebook. Like them be support new podcasters because we love them. One more thing I was gonna say though, about like in your relationship. Cause I kind of started this thought about people talking about not being able to get their partner. And I'm like, well, let's go home and put them down and give him a massage. But I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes the talking and the way you're talking about doesn't really work because they're just hearing I'm not pleasing you, whatever. So. So there's. These are the little things I'm saying that you can do to ease into it again, like watching porn together. You don't necessarily have to, like, have a whole conversation about it first, but there's a lot of like, female friendly porn that like, you both might like. And then if you're watching it together, you can talk about. Oh, that turned me on. That. So that's another, like, way to use.

Like a third party.

Like, so you don't have to actually talk about what your fan. Cause I always tell couples, like, talk about your fantasies, talk about what you desire, like, or if you've never talked about sex, like, what was your favorite night of sex together? And then tell what, like, get it talking. Like, you gotta break that. Crack this code. Because people just get so shut down by their partner. So again, watching porn could give you some erotic pleasure, right? And you can unwind and relax. And if, you know, if your guy gets excited about what he sees, don't get jealous. I just wrote my blog this week for Patty Stanger at PattyKnows is about what to do when your boyfriend's porn habit bothers you. So I say, just watch it together. Don't let it bother you. Another thing I was gonna say is. Oh, talking dirty. How do you guys feel about talking dirty?

Love it.

I like it.

Right? It's awesome. Again, that's another thing that turns us on is sound, right?

Well, actually, when we were at the BDSM club, we were getting like our little, you know, he was showing us around Cat boogie was. And he took us into the classroom and he started kind of role playing with me. And he's like, sit down. And then he's like, okay, go to that map and find this country. And then he starts counting down. 10, nine. And like, he's speaking more intensely. And like, I'm starting to feel nervous. And then like I've managed to point it out right before he hits one. And I sit down and he's like standing over me. He's like, good. I was gonna have to discipline you.

Oh my God.

And I was just like, wow. Like, I don't know you, but shit.

Okay, that's hot, right? Yeah, right?

All right.

See.

Everyone, go out in your. Every neighborhood's got some kinky, weird something kinky weird something going on. Go try it. So I think it's great you guys are doing that. And Anderson, what's up with you? What's up with your podcast this week in your life? You're tired. Are you paying attention Now?

I got a new cat and it's. It's freaking out. So I have to sleep in the room where it is. And it's waking me up.

Cause I wanted a cat because cats are adorable.

I do love cats.

Relax with your cat love. Over there.

There.

Run.

Settle down.

I like cats, but still. That's good. So, okay, what's on your pot you don't want to talk about?

Oh, no, no. Film vault. Yeah, we did top five baseball movies because the. The old playoffs they were mentioned them. Bad News Bears.

That's right. I see one story about Bad News Bears. You know the guy who played Lucas in Bad News Bears? The little kid?

Yeah, Lucas.

He has the office next to me in my building.

Is he a porn star now? That'd be awesome. He's like, please tell me he uses bats on girls butts.

Yes. No.

He's like, do you remember? Have you been in my office? No, you haven't been.

I've been to your office.

He's like 50 something. He looks like a total hippie. I thought he was like a. But he's. He has.

What's he do?

Pr. He looks drunk, but I think he's sober. Like one of those like drinks for so long that he always looks drunk. Even teeth. And he comes around in his office. He's got all these celebrities. I don't know. It's like a kind of pr and there's like pictures like, look, I'm like, oh my God, you're Luke.

He's a booger eating.

Yeah, it's kind of funny. So great. Everyone check out Anderson.

That's. That was a quote from the. The Bad News Bears because everyone settled down.

He didn't even quote it.

It.

Yeah, great. Great movie. I don't say the N word though. Don't say the N word because you'd have to if you quoted the entire movie. There's some filthy language in there. It's a 70s different time. Bull Durham, it was mentioned. Film Vault. It's a good episode.

Film Vault. Check out his podcast. Check out pretty. I guess check out my podcast. Okay, everyone, thank you. Run and Lindsay, you guys are awesome. We'll do a little video here so everyone can check you guys out. And yeah, thanks everyone. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter, Instagram. Only if you love me me. That's what I got to say to you. So thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sex with emily.com.

Okay, so every single day I hear from friends they want to start a website. Like Roon and Lindsay here. You guys probably had to start a website and they think, oh my God, it's a blog. Well, how do I do it? It's overwhelming. Well, let me tell you about weebly.com. it is the coolest concept. It gives you the freedom to create a great website for whatever you want. Any idea you have, you can implement a Weebly website in minutes. Weebly.com truly stands apart because it's so goddamn easy to use. And you create your own high quality site and you don't need any technical skills at all. If you're like, come on, I don't know coding, you don't need it. You drag and drop, you're like, banner, sidebar, click. And it makes it so easy. And your website can work perfectly on web and mobile, which is not easy these days. So no matter what kind of site you want, business or portfolio to show your work, or if you're ready to sell online, Weebly brings your ideas to life. Right now, we all know that making an idea come to life is very hard. But making a website for it should be easy. Create your free website today@weebly.com that's W E E B L Y.com TrueCar.com is.

Changing car buying forever.

That's right. Every day, TrueCar users receive negotiation free.

Guaranteed savings, though some features not available in all states. Not available in all states. That's right, yeah. In the first six months of this year, over 2,275,000 cars were sold by TrueCar Certified Dealer Networks.

TrueCar users save an average of $3,221 off MSRP.

That's a pretty good average. When you're ready to buy a car, just follow these three easy steps. First, go to TrueCar.com and find out what people paid for the car you're looking for. Then register@TrueCar.com to see upfront pricing information and lock in your savings. Then third, you just simply print out your TrueCar savings certificate and take it to the TrueCar certified dealer for a better hassle. Free car buying experience remember, every day TrueCar users receive negotiation free guaranteed savings. Save time, save money and Never overpay. Visit truecar.com today that is truecar.com there's.

One overlooked mineral behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health health Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver.

All of its benefits.

That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger, and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.com sex with Emily for 50% off.

And here's a bonus.

Use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q U A l I a life.com sex with emily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.