Inside Bunny Ranch: The Tale of Dennis Hof & the 37 Orgasms

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they called them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? 'Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean, like laundry?

It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. You can listen to all of our podcasts, sign up for our mailing list, and you know, you really do need to sign up for our mailing list because I send you really good— I do good email. I just got to say, it's not one of those annoying newsletters you get every week. It actually gives you information to help you improve your sex life and your relationship, which is what I'm all about. Plus, you get a report, the 5 biggest mistakes you're making in bed if you're a man or a woman, and follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, which is all Sex with Emily Morse. And on Wednesdays, I answer all your questions, 12:30 to 1:00 Pacific Standard Time. You got a question, you tweet me, I answer it, 140 characters or less, which is really all you need. There's probably only 3 sex questions in the world that you have. They all boil down to that, and I'm happy to help you. Okay, I'm going to get right into my guest because I'm thrilled with my guest here today. I have Dennis Hoff. He's the owner of the infamous Nevada brothel, the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, and he's here to talk about sex, prostitution, legal prostitution, his upcoming season of the HBO series Cat House, which features a look at the inner workings of a legal house of prostitution. And I'm so happy because he walked in with Ava Dora, who's actually a bunny. Hi, Ava. Hi. She's the real bunny. She works there. So there's like no grounds— there's nothing off limits here. We're getting into it.

You ask it. And by the way, I get your email, and I want to tell everybody, I actually read it. I don't think anybody knows more about sex than me. I'm the cat house king, the brothel baron. I, I have 540 girls licensed with me. I, I think I know everything about sex, and I think the gal with me would probably say that too, wouldn't you?

It's true, he has a lot of experience.

And I still learn things from your email. That's the point.

That's so sweet. That makes me feel very good. See, and you got— because we met years ago at a party, which I vaguely— and you're on my list, and I love that you didn't, because you could unsubscribe if you didn't like it.

Oh, of course I would.

I'm so glad you didn't. And I'm glad you guys are here. So I think we've got to give people background. Let's say they haven't seen your wildly successful series on HBO. How did you get started in this business?

Well, everything happens around sex, Emily. You know that.

Yeah, everything.

Anything good and bad in your life happens around sex. So I met a gal. I moved to Reno, Nevada, and I met a gal and started dating her, and she was a prostitute at the Moonlight Ranch, and I didn't know it. And after a few months, she finally told me the truth, what she did, and wanted me to come out and see it. And I was so square.

You were? Okay, so you were square.

Oh, square. I was this monogamous guy, relationships, and just square as can be. And so I went out and took a look at it. And then I thought, you know what, this doesn't sound bad. I mean, it makes sense because sex trafficking is disgusting. We know what's going on with sex in America, and it's, it's, it's out of hand. And, uh, with all these, these websites, these Backpage and things like that, who are, who are terrible in my mind, sex traffickers. And, uh, so I thought, this isn't bad. And so one night I was out there on a Sunday night because that was boyfriend night, and I met Andy Kaufman and his partner Bob Zamuda, the founder of Comic Relief.

Right.

Now, uh, we became instant friends.

You met him at the ranch?

Yeah, met him at the ranch.

Okay.

It was the place that Andy could go and get away and be himself. And he loved it. And by the way, at his gravesite, uh, not one member of the taxi crew was there, and 3 bunnies were there.

Really?

Yeah.

And so he bonded with the bunnies and not even like Danny DeVito himself, right? No, I got that.

I was there the first night he came there, and he, like, they lined up all the girls. There was 28 girls there, and, and he just couldn't make a decision. And, and Zamuda is saying, pick, pick a girl, pick a girl. And he finally says, you know, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. I'm going to pick a girl, but I'm telling you, I'm playing at Harrah's in Lake Tahoe. I will party with every one of you girls within the next week. I promise you. And he did.

By partying with every one of them, you mean had sex with every one of them?

But party can be whatever you want to be. It could be snuggling and cuddling and making out. It could be oral. It could be anal. It could be a threesome. It could be anything you want.

So with every woman, he either slammed a beer or slammed them.

But what Andy liked to do is he liked to wrestle the girls. So he would line them up like he'd never seen them before. He'd say, oh, Emily, you look kind of strong. Did you wrestle your brother when you were young? Yeah. Ava, what about you?

Was it like foreplay?

You wrestle? Yeah.

It's a fetish, a wrestle fetish.

Love it.

He would pick two girls, and one would get a white leotard, one would get a black leotard. And myself or Bob Zamuda would referee the match. I've still got the referee shirt. It doesn't fit me, it's too tight. It's an extra large and I'm a double X now. And the whistle. But he would wrestle, the two girls would wrestle each other to see who got to wrestle Andy in the finals.

Wow, that's so fun. Oh my God. Do you still do this kind of ongoing wrestling? It seems like a good fun thing.

Yeah, wrestling is a big fetish.

Have you ever done lube wrestling? Because last time I was in Vegas, I was in a lube wrestling match. Well, and it's pretty messy but fun. My assistant, it was her first week on the job and she actually sprained her toe, but I think it was a good indoctrination into the family world.

We had some people contact us and we, we emptied out a room and went to Costco or Home Depot and put the big tarps in there, taped them up to the walls, and Ava had a customer, a couple come in and they all three of them lube wrestled in that room.

I love it. It's a thing. It's a Vegas thing, right? Or like Nevada. That's so funny. So Ava, how long, how long have you been at the ranch now?

I've been working for 6 6 months now. I started in February.

Okay.

I'm still—

and how did you get on board with the ranch?

Well, it's actually an interesting story. Somebody submitted my pictures trying to be me to get in, but I guess they didn't realize how legal and safe it was and how we need to have ID and we need to be able to prove, you know, exactly, exactly. You can't have a felony and work here, those kind of things. And so when they accepted her with my pictures, she couldn't go. And so She had, I guess, she did the right thing in the end, I guess, and let me know.

Oh, is she a friend of yours?

She was like a girl I knew in high school.

Was it one of those conversations, "Congratulations, you've been accepted at the Bunny Ranch." It was very bizarre.

So had you ever thought about doing anything like this?

Well, no, I had never danced before. You know, like, I graduated from college in May. I went to Boston University, so I was, you know, planning on maybe paying off my student loans in other ways.

Right, but this is pretty much, you probably already paid them off.

I'm pretty much almost there.

Yeah. Yeah. You make good money doing that. Wow. So I know a lot of your women are college educated. A lot of the bunnies.

Most of them have better educations than I do. At least half of them do.

Okay.

And, and a lot of girls are there like Ava paying off their school loans. I think what people don't realize is it's school loans are now so easy to get and debt is so easy to run up. And how do you retire that debt? Because you get out of school, the jobs just aren't there. Right. And I've seen it with so many girls.

You should have done us.

Huh?

I wish I knew you when I graduated. It's been a while. But no, I mean, you're right. It makes sense. There's a lot. I mean, the whole thing with a lot of women now, like making, what's her name? The, Bell Knox.

Yeah. She just seems like the poster child.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, Ava wants to be a doctor. And so she needs, she wants to pay off this debt so she can go back to school and then go back and get an education. Right.

But Ava, how was your sex before? Like, had you had a lot of sex partners? I mean, obviously you have to be more of a—

I'm sorry.

Oh, if you were slutty already, then you're just a shoo-in, but. I mean, I got to believe that there's some kind of—

I want to hear this, Ava.

Yeah. Dennis and I are both going to learn a lot about you today.

Well, I mean, it was— I wouldn't say that I was necessarily super promiscuous in the sense that I had a million sex partners, but I definitely had sex a lot. And I, um, I had sex with girls. I had sex with guys. I had threesomes. I did all kinds of things. But I mean, but I'd also been in, you know, committed monogamous relationships as well. And so, I mean, I didn't necessarily see working here as kind of sacrificing my, you know, sexual purity, you know, purity or self-esteem or any— or my sense of respect. I don't really see them as mutually exclusive or inclusive.

Right. Got it.

So you were having fun.

Yeah, exactly.

And, uh, you had some sex partners and you tried girls.

I tried girls before I tried guys.

Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So when did you try— like when you were how old?

Um, I'd say my first sexual experience with a girl, I was 14.

What'd you do?

Yeah, um, goodness, a lot of— almost everything, pretty much everything.

Has she been with another girl?

No, we were both— you know, I was in ballet. I was a ballerina from age 6 to 17, and we—

your boobs are too big to be a ballerina.

Well, once I quit, they, they showed up.

You have nice breasts. I mean, they're like almost distracting, and they're real. Wow, they're amazing. We're going to get some good shots on the Sex Family site.

So it was with a girl, and you two were Spending the night? Were you drinking or anything?

Oh no, we were 14. I mean, we had just left practice from the ballet studio and there was a park across the street and we told our parents that we had to, you know, stay an hour later or whatever.

And then did you have an orgasm? Did you?

I mean, at the time I thought it was awesome, you know, so I would assume yes. So they're making out? Yeah, we made out.

And then you got the first base.

Right, you know.

And next thing you know, she's got her hands in your pants.

Exactly, yeah.

That's hot.

Okay, so then she's I know, I, I love the whole like switch. I didn't— but you didn't get mad at your friend? You're like, I'll take it?

No, no, we—

right. So then you get to the bunny ranch 6 months ago, and then you meet Dennis for the first time, right? And he's lovely, right? Is there like a welcoming committee?

How was that anyway?

I don't think we've ever talked about—

he met me, of course. I had some cat house.

Okay, okay, got it. So you knew you were getting yourself into it?

And yeah, I'd been on YouTube and saw his interviews, you know, on Hannity and, you know, on Bill O'Reilly and all over the place. So I kind of knew before I got there, since I was kind of presented with this opportunity to go, I kind of was able do all my research and figure out if I liked it ethically and, you know, all of these kind of things. And it worked. And so I was really excited to meet him. But it was funny, this was my first day. I didn't have, you know, my hair wasn't done, my makeup wasn't done, in normal girl clothes. And he was just like, hi, shook my hand and like walked away.

She wasn't all dolled up for you. Nope, nope, nope.

He didn't, probably didn't, he doesn't even remember this to this day. You probably have no idea. But then it was a Friday and it was maybe my second day working ever. And I had, you know, my red lips on.

I had, you know, I like your red lips. They're super sexy. They work for you. Thank you.

Red lips just work.

They do.

They really do. I feel like I want to go to the bathroom. Yeah.

And so, and I was just sitting there minding my own business, and you walked in with Barbie Girl and Kimber, two other bunnies at the Bunny Ranch. And you just locked eyes with me, and you would not let me leave your side the rest of the night.

How about that? You got his attention.

That's sweet.

We had sex the next day.

Okay, so you guys had sex. How was it?

Great.

Yeah.

It's actually, you told me that that was the first time you had sex in your manager's office.

Oh my God.

I remember that.

Oh, look at you. There's still more places for you to have sex.

I know, I just busted it up.

Okay, so do you have sex with all the girls that come through? No. No?

I'm real particular. Oh, I was about to compliment. I don't mind admitting that I've had sex with 4,000 women.

How do you know though? Like really 4,000?

That's what I want to know. Excuse me.

I have to have a book.

I can't keep track at 4,000. So, but I don't know. First of all, first of all, I never sleep with a girl that wants to go to work, ever. The thing— here's my—

like, if they, if they see you somewhere around town and they want to sleep with you to get it, I would—

to be funny, I never sleep with a civilian chick. It's been 10 years. A civilian is a non-working girl, okay? A non-working girl in a legal environment, okay? I would never be with an illegal prostitute because half of them have diseases, right? And so I quit about 10 years ago because the STD rates are so high.

Right.

In the young girl age group, if you look at CDC site, it's going to tell you 1 out of 4 has an STD right now. Right. Okay. So I don't want— No. Those odds are too high for me.

Exactly.

So I don't sleep with—

We use condoms, right?

Yeah, right. All right. But still, it's just like I don't want to take a chance.

No, I get it. You don't want to take a chance.

So I would never sleep with a girl before she came to work there, if she was applying. I never do that. I typically don't get involved in the hiring unless— there's two things. You know, I've been with hot blondes from 18 to 24 all my life. So if a really hot blonde comes, I see it come through the computer, I might contact her. Or a crazy mix like Japanese and Mexican or Korean and Italian. Some of these mixed girls are just stunningly beautiful. And it's good for our business to have that That diversity, for sure. And so, but I typically don't get involved and I'm pretty picky. You know, she might not agree with you, maybe on that, but I'm picky in that out of all the girls at the Bunny Ranch, I might have slept with the ones that are there now. What, 2, 3, 4? Like that? That's not many. I have 540 girls licensed.

That's a lot. But they're not all there all the time. Obviously not.

There's always about 30 girls working. And I have 7 places in Nevada.

Okay.

In northern Nevada between Reno and Lake Tahoe. There's 4 places. There's the Bunny Ranch I bought in '92, the Love Ranch I bought in '97, the Kit Kat Ranch which I bought in 2012, the Sagebrush Ranch which I bought in 2013.

So all these girls, when you say 500, they're working at all these different places?

It takes 540 girls to keep about 110 working all the time because I have 3 places outside of Vegas, 2 little smaller stores there. Love Ranch Vegas, the Alien Cat House, and that. So the answer to your question is no, I don't sleep with all the girls, and I'd like to think that I'm a little bit particular.

Okay, yeah, well, I mean, she's beautiful, so I might have slept with her too. I get it. Okay, so you started your business then a long time— 30-some years ago?

'92.

'92 is when you first started. Okay, so you said since then— so you were a monogamous man, you said? Were you married? Were you—

well, yeah, I was married. I was I was this genius that got married when I was 17.

Yeah. People shouldn't get married before you're 30.

But the good thing, you know, I was talking to Chuck Zito last night and Chuck and I were at the Rainbow and, you know, Chuck, Sons of Anarchy and famous guy, Hells Angel. And Chuck, our lives had some parallels to it. We both got married at 17 and had responsibility. And because of that responsibility and coming from a poor family, so I didn't have a big support mechanism. I never got into drinking. I don't drink at all. I mean, if the three of us were out, Eve will tell you, if you guys wanted to order a bottle of wine, I'd have about a third of a glass, and I'd act like I'm a big drinker. And I don't do any drugs, never got into it, don't even smoke weed. And Chuck was the same way. He's the same thing. He's the guy that never did drugs.

It's rare, especially I would think in your business, you know.

But it's because you think of him in this crazy life with the Hells Angels, and of course there's a lot of drugs there. Or me being—

Yeah, you think—

You would think that we've always got the best cocaine and we're smoking everything. And no, neither one of us, but because we had responsibility.

Right.

And that responsibility, the only good thing that came from me being married very young is that responsibility where I couldn't get off into that world.

Right. Okay, got it. So then you, but then you switched. I mean, you got there and you're like, wow, this whole awakening. So I said before that you probably didn't have a lot of sexual experiences.

Right. I never—

And now?

It was always straight sex. I mean, like, can we— can I swear?

Anything you want. Whatever the hell you want.

When I was married at 17, it was like I didn't know any better. It was like if you've got a 25-year-old Toyota and you drive it back and forth to work for a year and you love it.

Yeah.

You don't realize what it's like to drive a new Mercedes convertible. Right. So we were like— I found out after being married 9 years, we were like 2 monkeys trying to fuck a football. Neither one of us got it.

You just don't get it. People think they're just going to get it and it's going to figure out, he's going to know what I want, she's going to— people don't know.

I thought it was good. I thought it was good. It sucked. It was terrible.

It was like missionary, in and out, watch SportsCenter.

I was ignorant and she was too. So anyway, that was our life. Now in '78, so I met Kaufman in '76 or '77. '78 or '79, one night we're there because Kaufman was a—

Andy Kaufman. You met him in Vegas.

I met him at the Bunny Ranch in Northern Nevada.

Okay, the one that you already had going in '78?

No, I bought it in '92.

Okay, then how did you meet him in '78?

So because my girlfriend worked there.

Got it.

Okay, so Kaufman, uh, one night we're in this back room. They treated him special because he's a celebrity, right? They treated me special because I was a boyfriend of one of the girls.

Got it.

So one night he says He said, Dennis, let's buy this place and treat everybody like you and I are treated. And I went, wow, what a great idea, because prostitution worldwide is get in, get up, get off, get the fuck out of here.

Right.

Okay, so that was the plan. So we started putting our ideas together. I still got the 3-ring binder with all the notes, and I kept trying to buy it. '84, Kaufman died. No liquor, no drugs, a vegetarian, died of cancer. And then I kept the fight up, and in '92 I bought it, and all I did was implement— I changed the name from Moonlight Ranch to Dennis Hoff's World Famous Moonlight Bunny Ranch.

Right.

And I took the big sign down that says "Men Only" because most of the brothels in the world don't want women in there. Right. And I took it down and I said, "Someday you're going to see women in there." Last weekend there was 13 couples in there on Friday night.

Really? Like together?

Together. Together.

So were they like swingers?

But I made it cool.

They all came in by themselves, but 13 of them had their—

Oh, they were together. It wasn't like a field trip.

No.

They didn't get dropped off on a bus. No, no. And only 13 couples.

Exactly.

A few years ago, women weren't even involved. In fact, most of the brothels in Nevada, women still aren't allowed to come in because they're afraid it's a wife looking for her husband.

Right, exactly.

So all I did—

Yeah, that makes sense.

Here was the secret to the success. Make it fun. Hey, make it fun. Uh, and not just sex, an adventure. Okay, because the experience is more about the adventure than it is the sex. I told the girls, I sat them down, said, here's the new deal. Number 1, don't ever party with anybody you don't want to. You mean we don't have to fuck everybody? Nope, just the guys you want to.

Okay, so they can say no.

Number 2, everybody has their limit. Only do what you enjoy. Don't ever do a sex act you You mean if I don't want to do anal with a guy, I don't have to? No, you don't have to. Just be nice and introduce them to another girl. And the last but not least, there's no fixed prices anymore. You— I'm not going to put a price on you because I think it's degrading and disgusting. You negotiate with the client what you want to do and how much he wants to pay for it. Because now what I've created is a willing buyer and a willing seller and a great sexual experience. And a repeat customer in a fun environment, and the model works, evidenced by I own 7 places now.

Yeah, I mean, that's amazing that you own 7 places and you've been successful for this long. Now my question about the pricing is, each woman, so how do you, so they're negotiating, isn't there a range though? Like, there's gotta be some kind of range of pricing.

Well, I'm gonna let her talk to you about prices, but here's what I say.

That's a skill to negotiate.

Exactly, yes.

Here's what I say to my friends.

You get them all really hot and then you're like, "Oh, did I say—

I meant 1,000 or something like that, not 100." I think it's more about being nice than it is hot.

I think you get them all hot and bothered and they'll say yes to you.

I tell my friends, I said, "Look, it's their job to take your house, your car, your 401(k) plan. It's your job to get it free because you really don't want to pay." So someplace in the middle Right. Everybody's gonna be happy. So how do you negotiate?

Yeah, explain to me. Give me like— so last weekend with the couples, did you play with the couples?

Yes, I did.

Okay, so walk me through that. So how did it work out? Like, you guys are sitting there, because then we can talk about pricing and work it into this. So you're sitting there and all these couples are there, and then you guys are all just walking— because I've seen the show, you're walking around, music playing, having fun.

Yeah, you're walking around the parlor, there's a lineup, so they meet all the girls. It's called a meet and greet.

Okay.

It's just like a rock concert, it's a meet and greet, except from there the person or the couple can either pick a girl or it turns into the world's greatest singles bar. So the couples are all there, she's there, she's talking to them, and then she gets a couple and says, "Would you like to see my room? Let me show you around." And then where do you go from there?

Yeah.

Well, so once I've gotten them on the tour, they're back into my room and we're negotiating. I mean, the best way to I mean, it's pretty much just like negotiating any other kind of business deal.

I mean, where do you start? Are you like, do you ask them what they want? So here's my question.

Exactly.

God, I have so many. Can you guys stay for 8 hours? No, how many— like, you must know, like, what are they into? She's like, my wife's never been with a woman, or we want to do this or that. I mean, did you guys discuss what their expectations are, what their desires are?

Well, well, one of the things that you just can't train anybody on doing is making somebody feel comfortable enough to explain these things to you.

Exactly.

But you have, you have a few advantages over, you know, being in a real committed relationship in the sense that I'm probably I may not ever see this person again, and it's not— they know as my job I can't judge them on what they're gonna tell me.

Right.

You know, they can tell me they have the craziest, you know, weirdest fetish in the world, and it's my job to be like, you know, okay, great.

Yeah, mine too. Exactly.

Well, you know, and that's fine, you know, and that's great, but— and then from there, you know, depending on what I want to do, you know, and what they want to do, we start in the middle. So if it's something that, you know, let's say I'm not that into, or, you know, I may give it— I may introduce them to another girl who I do know is into it, or the price may be a little higher with me, you know. And so, but the biggest thing is, you know, always start higher than you want.

Just like, what— so tell me what happened with this couple. Can you walk me through this particular couple and what happened?

Um, well, couples are usually really great because there's a woman there. And I'll tell you, if it's just a single man, that's when the single man will try and be like $50 for everything, for all night, you know, because they don't— I don't think they have a concept.

They probably don't.

Exactly, exactly. But with a woman, they're always way more easier to kind of give you, you know, more than what you want.

So what did this couple want?

Well, that was the couple actually where we put the Home Depot tarp up everywhere, and we had— he wanted to watch me and his wife do some oil wrestling.

Nice.

And then we did a nuru massage actually, which is where you rub the special nuru gel all over your naked body and you massage people with your body with just the gel. And it's a very sensual—

well, you're gonna like what I gave you.

A little tingle here.

I am too. I gave you guys a massage candle that I made that's all vegan coconut oil, soybean oil, and it burns. Have you ever seen a massage candle? It's called Emily and Tony, my new product line, and it burns. It's not waxy or sticky or hot. It burns cooler than wax, and you blow it out, you let the oil— you pour it on your person and whoever you're with, and it's—

you'll be using it tonight. You'll get a full report tomorrow.

Oh my God, we'll let you know.

People are freaking out. You're gonna love it. So I gave you one.

We'll have it on Yelp tomorrow.

Please do, tell all your peeps. I'll send you one for everyone at the ranch, I swear, I'll send you a whole thing.

Awesome, we can make it a special.

But you rub it all over them. And then, so have you ever had scenarios where you think you're into someone and then something happens and you're not, and then what do you do? You ring a bell? Do you ever not feel safe, or do you ever feel like—

The common thought process is, the girls are damaged goods. They're there because they have no other choice. That they've been molested, they've had sex, been molested.

It's such a myth.

It's changed, it's changed. I try to tell them all the same.

So that is a total fallacy, and she's a perfect example. And she's not the unique one at the ranch. I mean, most girls are like, probably 50% of the girls have great educations, and they have choices. She's got choices. She's got 2 degrees from a major university. She's got choices, okay. So that fallacy is gone.

Right.

The second one is all the guys are disgusting and they're dirty, they're disgusting, they're obese. And it's just not true, because if a man's time has any value at all, or he's got in a relationship, he can't be out in the dating world, right? And but he wants to try things, he wants to experiment, and he wants to do things that, that he doesn't think his girlfriend or wife will do, when the truth is she will do them, but he's afraid to ask her.

Exactly. See, this is where, this is where I always—

what I always— here's what I always say. I'd say, you know, a guy wants to come to the ranch because his girlfriend or wife won't do a threesome. Because if the Family Feud had a number one sexual fantasy, it's a threesome.

Oh yeah, it's for sure a threesome. Hands down.

So he comes there and he grabs Ava and one of her buddies and has a threesome while the wife is having a threesome with her tennis pro and his girlfriend.

Right.

Because there's no fucking communication. Exactly. Okay. They try different things. So they want— so the image is that they're disgusting guys that have no other options. Right. No, it's bull. You get billionaires in there, you get rock stars in there. I mean, Vince Neil was there last week partying with his girlfriend. OK. And why? Because they don't want to get out in the real world. Right. They don't want diseases.

It's a safe haven where they can do what they want.

Exactly. So if you have any— if your time has any value or you have any respect for the relationship you're in, The smart guy is going to go to the Bunny Ranch because the girls are tested. She's tested. Well, tell them about the testing.

Yeah, every week, every Wednesday actually, we're tested. A doctor comes into the ranch and we get— we have our blood drawn, we get cultures taken, we're tested for every STD under the sun. And if you have one, you can't work.

I mean, you are right. And so it takes a while though too, right? Like you could have it and not be carrying it and then you could have the information.

The brothel industry, not state mandated, on their own put in condoms, mandatory condoms in 1981.

Right.

33 years of mandatory testing, never a case of HIV because they're pre-screened. Okay, and, uh, and we've never had a case. Now, in Las Vegas, where the, where the sex business is illegal— because it's not legal in Vegas or Reno, uh, those two counties, uh, are—

but you're right outside of that.

Yes, exactly.

They decided they didn't want it in 1972 when they legalized it. Uh, so, uh, though in, in Las Vegas they've just arrested their 1,000th girl because it's mandatory STD tests working with HIV. So that's 1,000 girls.

So many guys are in Vegas and they're looking for—

and the sad thing is, the women are everywhere, they think it's legal and they think the girls are tested, and it's just not that way.

I know, I get it. That's been your big— that's been your big— but you've been very vocal about it because some people like So many people in your position would try to keep a lower profile, but you have been, you know, very vocal about your establishments. I'm wondering, like, you have had a lot of backlash, but you've maintained— I mean, for— you've been in this business for a long time, very successful.

The backlash came from the old-timers, my competition, uh, the big brothels in Nevada. And you know what? I own all of them now, okay? And because during this depression, when it came—

which one?

Recently, 2008. Yeah, so the sex industry in Nevada, that always thrives, right? Through many— you're right, through, through many recessions, the gaming has never had a problem, liquor's never had a problem, and the sex industry, no problem. This one took a huge hit. The brothel industry is off 50 to 70%. Now, uh, in that same time, the Bunny Ranch is increasing 10%, and, and so We just do it right. We do things right. And I sat all the girls down and I said, look, financially the world's coming to an end. And I'm going to tell you what Roosevelt told my Depression parents. The only fear is fear itself. If you fear, if you're fearful, you need to leave. I'm going to go out and I'm going to do more media than I've ever done in my life. I'm going to promote this place. I'm going to drive traffic to it. We have HBO as our feeder to feed us new clients. That's huge.

Congratulations on all that success.

And, and we're going to get through this. And turn off, turn off CNN, turn off Fox, don't read the papers, and focus on your clients and give them more bang for the buck. And we're going to work.

Literally. So how have you— so did you, did you change any practices then that are like— did you add anything or change your business model, something that really worked?

Nothing.

You just kept promoting it?

We just worked, we just worked harder than ever. And we told the girls, take, take more care. One of the things that is really huge for us is is that we're always driving traffic to BunnyRanch.com. And when they go into BunnyRanch.com, it's an interesting site. We get 125 to 200 million hits a month. And all the girls are on there. There's a great photograph service. She just shot for Penthouse. All the photos are in there. And so people go into our message board. We have a very active message board community. And so guys are able to meet girls through the message board.

And they talk about them and stuff? They're like, "Hey, what'd you think of this or that one?" They talk to the girls. Kind of like Yelp reviews?

They talk directly to us and about us.

And they private message them. And we also have a chat, a live chat, so they go in there and do that. And the other thing that works well for us is we have a Ustream show every Saturday night at 6 o'clock. So it's basically a video lineup. And it's me or Ava hosting the show and talking to girls. So where did you come from? Tell us about yourself. Tell us about that day when you decided to go to BunnyRanch.com, hit Be a Bunny. What was going through your mind? And then when you were hired, how did it feel? And then when you got—

Kind of like what we just did. Exactly. Because it gets them engaged and you're real people, it's a good sales tool. Exactly right.

And they can see, see on the website you can see photos and you can read bios and that's okay. But some people want to see video so they can see that Ava can put 3 words in a sentence.

Yeah.

Okay, she's not a hillbilly, you know, she's educated and they go—

And see all the beautiful women and I mean, okay, I have to take a quick break. When we come back, we got to get into some sex stuff. I want to know what's up, not that we are, but I want to hear what's on the menu Menu.

Okay, definitely.

Yeah, I got a menu for you.

For me?

I brought one.

You did? I can't wait to hear it. And some more of the sex stuff we've got to do, but first I have to read a word for my sponsors. Um, NoNo. I love my— okay, so Ava, you're a woman. Yes, I obviously don't, so you might need this too, but hair removal, shaving, waxing, all that stuff, it's an everyday thing. It's everything, and it's a pain in the butt, and it's expensive. All the money you spend on razors. Do you know the NoNo Pro? It automatically You can do it. I did.

I've heard of those.

Yeah, it's amazing. You can just— I mean, anywhere on your body that you want to remove your hair, it's long-lasting, no pain, and it's for men too. I don't know, Dennis, if you got hair on your neck or your back, you've probably taken care of it. But if you're listening to the show, you want to take care of it, um, whether it's your legs, your arms, your face. You guys will freak out and love how easy it is to use and the weeks of long-lasting results. NoNo Pro comes with 100% 60-day money-back guarantee, and when you purchase it, you get a $50 gift card to an award-winning winning skincare line. Go to nonoemily.com. That's nonoemily.com.

You know what, hair removal is, is a serious thing at the ranch.

Oh, we got to talk about that too.

And I, I want to, I want to get, I want to try this No No product.

You should. Okay, I'm going to spell it out. Let's get one.

Great.

No, like, you, yeah, no, it's amazing because it's like all that stuff you get laser, but you can just do it at home. I do when I'm watching TV. No more hair, like, everywhere. And we, I have one more sponsor, Hustler. Hustler Hollywood Stores, I know a lot of you live out there in the LA area or you come here often, and there's also Hollywood Stores all over the country. That could be your main destination for the best toys, erotica, sexy lingerie, and the easiest way to find answers you've been looking for to spice up your sex life.

And get yourself a Ron Jeremy while you're there.

Yeah, they have a Ron Jeremy, right?

Yeah, they have a Ron Jeremy drink there that's amazing.

Have you been to Hustler Hollywood? It's amazing.

I've been, you know, my girlfriend was inducted into his Hall of Fame there. Larry's a great guy. It's an amazing store, and this ain't your daddy's old dirty bookstore, right? This is a place that couples go. Now we're staying right down in Hollywood, okay? And, and later on tonight when we drive by there, I'm always shocked because it's 1 in the morning and the place is full of people just hanging out on the patio, and they're having a little coffee drink and, and, and a little something to eat, and they go in and buy a new toy, pick up a— let's pick up a dildo and some lube and go home. And, uh, it's a great, great store. Uh, and I, I've many times thought that maybe the evolution of the Bunny Ranch is in the Bunny Ranch boutiques, uh, which is sort of like a Hustler Hollywood.

Yeah, you guys should do a boutique because Larry's—

he's got it, he's got it done. It's a great, great store.

It is a great store.

Teresa's a great friend. I love Teresa. She runs it, she runs an amazing store, and I would highly recommend anybody, especially people that might be listening that really don't feel comfortable going into an adult video store. By the way, most of them shouldn't. They should feel uncomfortable going in most of these stores.

Most of the stores are kind of seedy.

Exactly. Well, this isn't— this isn't a seedy store.

No, it's a classy store. They have everything you want.

Great magazines, periodicals, uh, toys. Uh, it's a great store. And I love Larry. I was at his, uh, at his bachelor party, and, uh, well, that's a story I can't tell on air.

Oh, that's a good one. I want to hear about— I just met him recently. I also I also gave him a massage candle. But it is Great House of Hollywood, and if you guys go there tonight, tell them Sex with Emily sent you and you get 20% off. Awesome.

Really, they give you 20% off by saying that?

By saying Sex with Emily. There you go. You guys should go shopping tonight. But it is true that so many couples have a hard time, like we said, your customers, they have such a hard time talking to each other about sex. So I say, you know, a lot of people listen to my show together, or just go to the store together, use that as your third party and just see what floats your boat. Maybe a dildo, maybe some handcuffs, Spline board.

One thing leads to another. And, uh, but by the way, we, we use a lot of Hustler Hollywood products at the ranch.

That's so great.

Absolutely.

Oh my God, I'm gonna— okay, so what about— well, God, now I want to talk about toys for sure, but I want to talk about the hair thing. So do you find most men prefer no hair?

Actually, no. It— there's really no one way that men prefer.

So what do you do? What do you choose then?

I usually go with none, you know, just because for me it's an easier maintenance kind of a deal.

It's easier. You don't have to do like the perfect square or the perfect line. Exactly.

I don't have time for geometric design stuff.

Right, exactly.

What about a happy face?

Yeah, happy face, like the show.

But everybody's idea of what's sexy and what's attractive is different. It's different. It's so different. Larry, by the way, I'm telling something out of school, Larry is a bushman.

He is a bushman. Well, he would be a bushman. I could see that back in the day, right? Do you ever think the bush will come back? Because like, I got a lot of it lasered and I'm like, what? I still have some though, because I was like, what if it comes back?

I feel like I'm already coming back.

And I think so too. I do think it is.

I'd like to see you do the Bunny Ranch humping bunny logo.

Humping the bunny logo?

We have two bunnies. Two bunnies fucking is our logo. Okay, how we call it the humping bunnies. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Yeah, like to see me Do— what do you mean?

I'd like to see you—

wearing it?

No, I'd like to see you cut that, cut that into your bush.

Oh, the bush. Yes, I'm always open for suggestions. That's a great idea. Okay.

Or Dennis says hi.

How about that? Do you have other girls with your name tattooed on them?

You know, I don't know.

That's a cool question.

Uh-oh, Emily, you might be the first next.

Well, you know what? It happened once before. And I just never saw the girl again. And so I finally agreed once with a girl to allow— I said, listen, here's what we'll do. Put some red lips, because I love red lips, on your butt, and that'll be the sign. That'll be our deal. Okay? And the next thing I know, like 10 girls had red lips on their ass.

Oh, they all—

I'm like, stop this. I'm not going for this.

Because they all want to be with you, right? Because you're the man, you're the master, you're the guy. That's gotta feel good.

I don't know, Eva, what do you think?

Well, I like being with you, so.

But Eva, how old are you?

I'm 23.

You're 23, and how old are you?

I'm 23. I'm as old, a man is as old as a girl he dates. I'm 23.

You're 23, right. You're a little bit older. So, is that, was he the oldest man you've been with? Yes. And was that a good experience? Did you learn stuff? What did he teach you?

Oh yeah, this is the best sex I've ever had.

Tell me why. What happened? What do you know? What'd you learn from Dennis?

Well, you have to— I guess a lot of the sex that I was having before I started working, you know, was with people my age.

Yeah, other guys don't know anything about sex.

Right, exactly. And it was, you know, the most selfish experience, you know. Unfortunately, I feel like a lot of guys in their, you know, early 20s, 30s, 40s, you know, right now they don't know. It may just be because they don't know. They don't know exactly, but they just—

they're much more into, you know, like what we were saying, get in, get out, right, right. He probably takes care of you, this man.

Yes, and it was amazing. I think there was this one time, because he has a whiteboard above his bed, and there's, you know, and we'll count orgasms with, you know, a tally marker. And I think one time I got it— I got up to 37. I mean, yeah, yeah, I was already— Gold Star Sunday.

You want to give me a high five now, or you want to wait till the show's over?

Hey, fuck, 37! We're using a vibrator, just your—

oh, all the toys. We use toys every time.

Yeah, fingers, elbows, nose, you name it, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Because what happens— here's what Guys don't understand.

With each girl's name like sectioned off?

No.

Oh, you erase it by the time they leave. Oh, because you want them to be competitive.

No, but what guys don't understand is that intercourse doesn't get good until a girl's had 6 or 8 orgasms. I would never penetrate her without her having at least 6 or 8, and typically more, because that's when it gets good. And guys—

that's what guys in the past did.

Exactly.

It's a silly It's a silly saying, okay, but a woman's like a frying pan. You got to get them real hot before you put the meat in them.

It's true.

And it's like, it's so, so true. And guys don't get it, and especially young guys don't get it, that you make them climax orally with your fingers, every way possible there is. And guess what? When it gets down to the intercourse, they just climax and climax and climax, and they can't— you could You could look at them wrong and they'll climax.

Right, so it's so true. And this is what I try to teach on the show, that there are— because I remember so many guys, they don't know that they realize, oh, I'm hard, I got an erection, she might shut me down. I don't know what it is, but they just want to stick in as quickly and they don't have the information about pleasing a woman.

Here's what I hear.

This is what I talk about every day.

I've been hearing this for 22 years now. My wife's frigid. My wife doesn't get it. My wife doesn't want to do this. And you know what goes through my mind? You don't like her, how do you organize it?

Right, exactly.

Because why would she want to come back and do that again if she's not getting the thrill out of it?

Exactly.

I think the thing that, you know, one of the things that I did a long time ago is a media ploy that I used. I hired John Bobbitt, and it came out in the trial that he—

The Bobbitt got his penis cut off.

Yes, penis cut off. And the reason— It came out in the trial that his sex with her was he'd go out and get drunk, come home, catch her sleeping, jump on her, pump her a couple times, and that was it. So she had no respect for a penis. If a girl is having 6, 8, 10, 15 orgasms at a time, she's not cutting anything off. She's cutting off her nose to spite her face.

Right, right. She's not cutting off the penis if he'd been pleasuring her. Guys, I mean, I try to teach them this and like, you don't understand when you give to her and you learn how to become a good lover and you start with her pleasure, it'll come back to you even more. But exactly, so many guys who I just, I don't know if it's just an intellectual experiment, they don't get it or they never will. But I think once they start to do it, they'll realize that it is this reciprocal beautiful thing and they'll get off on her getting off. But there are still guys who are like, what?

I'm sure some of the other girls, but I hear it more because I I sleep with her, right? I hear her about educational classes that she puts on and with couples and, and guys, how they want to learn things and they want to, they want to ramp it up. They want to take it to the— well, the Bunny Ranch, they can do that.

Do you take— you teach classes?

Definitely, definitely.

So they can sign up for a class and come teach from you, or you just teach one-on-one?

A one-on-one.

I hear you.

Yeah, it's a party.

I should send all my exes to see you.

And they come back, they come back, they learn things, and they come back for for continuing education, uh, because where are you going to get that experience? You guys don't get it. Like, I, I shared with you, you know, a secret, you know, the sex I had with, with my, my wife. It was— we were— I'm serious. I jokingly say we were like two monkeys fucking a football. We were.

That's how most people are because they don't— couples are not trained. There's nowhere to go for— there are places out, but they don't, they don't look— think to seek out information. Couples, they'll talk about everything else under the sun, but sex, they'll never ever talk about it. They'll never talk about their fantasies, what turns them on. That's why I say like go to Hustler Hollywood, go to a store, go here, go there, and just see, spice it up, to have a conversation. I know it might be really hard at first and might make you really stressed out and nervous, but just start the conversation. What's your turn-on? What's your fantasy? How about this toy?

Here's another thing that I see in the world today that I think's wrong is that I was raised that a woman needs to be a lady in public and a little whore in bed. I see the world is changing. The girls are whores in public and they're conservative in bed. And I see that. It's like you're with a girl, I see them at the ranch, and some of these girls are very just crazy. We talked about one earlier. And in bed, they turn into something else. They turn into very prim and proper.

So they're like drinking and wearing a sexy outfit, maybe drunk and crazy, but once you get in bed, they don't really know what they're doing as much. So it's more like they've got— it's switched.

That girl we were talking about earlier, you know, I think she'd probably be a terrible lay.

Oh no, and I've heard, you know, a few stories about how she's not necessarily comfortable in threesomes. And threesomes, as we were talking about earlier, is one of the most common things we do at the Bunny Ranch. You know, so I don't necessarily think, you know, that's the woman's fault necessarily. I think, you know, there's a, there's a value system that, you know, a lot of women worry about getting judged. Exactly.

So there's just so much going on with couples that don't talk about this because they think if I become— and the guys who still think like, oh, I can't do this with my wife and they haven't talked about it. I mean, that just pissed me off because she might be wanting that. You might want to open up and they— and even the guys who say, well, I tried and she shut me down. Well, you didn't try hard enough or you didn't say the right thing. You freaked her out. You said, I want to have a threesome with your best friend or something, right?

When a man hooks up with a girl, right, he puts her on this pedestal, okay? And she's so special. And then you get married, you have children, and she's the queen, she's this and that. It's hard to take her off that pedestal and make a little fucking tramp out of her in the bedroom. So they don't have the nerve to ask her when she has those desires that are suppressed anyway, and she thinks that her husband's a square. He thinks she's a square, so they come to the Bunny Ranch.

You think every woman wants to be like a slut in the bed?

Well, I think women would like— all women want to expand their horizons. I think they want to learn more. They want to try different things. I think most women are— at the ranch, the survey says that 60% of the girls like girls, okay? Another 20% or 25% are are gay for pay. They'll party with a girl if there's enough money. And then there's another 15-20% are strictly dickly. They just want cock.

I think another big thing too is that the idea that monogamy is the social construct that we as humans physically, and women as well, you know, don't necessarily agree with physically. I mean, we've been taught as women that we have to be with this one guy to wait for your true love, you know, that if you are a slut in the bedroom, or wherever you want to call that, This guy may think differently of you. He may think you've been with everybody around the block, and that may make you less attractive. When, you know, that's just this crazy society idea. Absolutely.

Where does it all come from? It comes from religion.

It does all come from religion. Everything.

All the repressions you hear from your parents, your society, wherever you grew up. The girls that don't have religion beaten into them, or have been able to kick it, okay, are amazing lovers. Because they're free from all that guilt.

Exactly.

And I don't mean to be putting down any religion, but I'm here to tell you that girls that don't have religion in their life are amazing.

Well, oppressive religion. They might have other kinds of religion or other things they believe in, but the religions that say it's shameful if you masturbate, your eyes are going to fall out. Exactly, not if it's used towards sex and sexuality. I absolutely got that. Okay, so can we talk about the menu for a second?

Of course.

So on the menu I've got— well, I have There's some things here like the Girlfriend Experience, Love at the Y, Half and Half.

Mm-hmm.

Yes. So do people all have to choose from the menu?

Oh, of course not.

Okay.

No, I mean, the menu is really just kind of like a jumping point.

You know, like a jumping spot. Or like an appetizer.

Right. Well, we were talking about earlier about making people feel comfortable, and this, our cute little menu is a way of doing that. You know, so some guys, you know, his first time isn't going to walk in and be like, I want anal and I want this and that. So this is our way of saying, you know, Here's our cute little half-and-half party, blowjobs to have sex, you know, cute names, love at the Y, it's going down on a girl.

What's the Viagra party?

Well, it's letting guys know that they can bring their Viagra. Some people are ashamed to take ED medicines, and it's just a fact of life that some people need them. But I see the usage being more in younger guys that don't need it. Because they can bang 4, 5, 6 girls in a night.

Right, oh, because they last longer.

So there's a lot of recreational ED medicine.

A lot of it. And also they're doing other drugs and they can't get hard, so then they take Viagra.

Exactly. I get it. Here's the idea of the menu. The idea of the menu is to take you out of your normal once-a-month missionary position and all that and let you expand your horizons. Do you think that is once a month everyone just has missionary and I think sex, a lot of sex is, uh, is once a month missionary right after my TV show. Uh, she pulls up her t-shirts, uh, he pumps her a few times and gets off, goes to sleep.

That's America.

She turns over and masturbates when he goes to sleep. That's— I think that's a lot of sex.

Yeah, I do too. I do too. So, okay, so then we've got the two-girl party, outdoor, indoor, like you and Emily and Ava. So we could have a So if I was there, we could like have a threesome with like someone came in the jacuzzi.

If you were a girl that came in there by yourself and you wanted to pick another girl to have a threesome, great. If you bring your man in there and a lot of, you know, we've got an A-list celebrity that about once a month—

Who?

I can't tell you.

Oh, come on.

We're very discreet.

I know, but who are the celebrities that you can't tell? Andy Kaufman, he's dead.

He's dead.

I know, but can't we talk about any good celebrities that we know? Let me think about it.

But we actually send a driver to LA, we rent a minivan, we go to a certain Starbucks in Beverly Hills. She walks out, gets in the car, they drive 7 hours because that's a 7-hour drive because she can't go to the airport because the paparazzi is always checking out where she's going.

So they drive through the middle of the desert in the middle of the night.

This is one of the A-list celebrities still making A-list It's a single girl. Beautiful too.

Wow, amazing. Because yeah, they're following around. I got it.

So what else, what else would pique your curiosity on?

I'm trying to think, like, okay, orgies. So how many people make an orgy?

More than 3.

More than 3. Okay, so that would not be the threesome, right? Um, and now the orgies, do you ever— are you combining guests who come in? Or usually they come in like, is it 3 dudes? Like, are you ever with like 4 guys, 5 guys who want like the—

well, I haven't done that yet. And one of the rules that we do have for the safety of the girls is that for every man that comes in, you have to have one girl with you. So in theory, you could, you know, have a 5-guy, 1-girl gangbang session, but then I need to have, you know, 5 other girls kind of in the wings, you know, watching. Right, you know, which would be fine. They could be making out, doing each other, you know, beautiful orgy like you said.

Yeah, but, uh, yeah, we like to have the numbers.

And I see that your women are treated well. You pay them, they make a percentage of the earning. What about health benefits?

They make half the money. So if somebody comes in and spends $500 on that party, then they get $250 the next day. The average Bunny works 7 to 10 days a month and has a 6-figure income. The top girls that put in more time and effort and work on the message board a lot make half a million a year.

That's a good job. But what are your neighbors? Are people, like, still pissed at you and trying to take you down all the time? No. They're not? They're happy? They love us. Is that good? So it's pretty like things are good now over there. Like you've gotten your message out, you own all these places. It's not— there's not— you're not fighting that fight anymore.

No, I mean, people say, well, how do you get along with the church? I remember once Geraldo said, Dennis Hoff, the Bunny Ranch, how do you get along with the church? So great, the limo shows up on Sunday and 6 or 8 girls go to church and, and we call it a day. He's like, really? I said, yeah, really?

Yeah, they go to church because it's legal, right?

It was tolerated from the 1850s And in fact, like, the Bunny Ranch was a stop on the Pony Express Trail.

Right, I mean, it's the oldest profession in the world, you know, right?

Exactly.

So it's been there a long time. It was tolerated from the 1850s to 1971, and in '72 it was legalized. And we're a big part of the community, and we're, you know, we're the answer. We're a 60-year-old social experiment that works real, real well.

Right.

The rest of the world's got the problem.

Right, okay, so what, yeah, I hear you, okay, good, I'm glad, I'm glad to hear that because you'd be like, oh, you know, it can be so controversial and, but you're taking care of the women and— Oh yeah. What is an Asian wet room on the menu?

Well, it's a wet room that's got slick walls and it's got things from the ceiling, it's got a bed in it where you can do the nuru and you give massages, girls and guys.

I know about the nuru, I actually saw that, didn't we see that in Vegas? Yeah. Yeah, that's so much. I go to the ILS, the International Lingerie Show, do you guys ever— with all the sex toys and stuff? Um, okay, cool. So it's all— so it's all wet in the room. I got it.

Okay, great to be able to be wet and slide around.

Yeah, well, I always say like you can never be too rich, too thin, or have too much lube. That's how I start. I have a lube too, but I didn't give you one because it's not on the market yet. I know, but I love my lube. But I feel like lube is so underrated that everybody needs—

everybody needs lube, even if she's wet.

There's no such thing as too much. Stigma. Oh, she's dry. It's like, no, just add some lube, it'll make everything better. People, put it on your freaking nightstand.

I'm glad to hear you tell people that.

I tell them all the time.

Great advice.

I know.

And they need to understand that there's numerous different types of lubes that can be used for different things, right? I mean, of course, when you— if you're doing anal, you need a silicone.

Oh God, yeah.

And you need to skip the lube.

Don't skip on lube and anal. We're doing it. We do anal.

This is actually—

it's Anal Pleasure Month. Happy Anal Pleasure Month. Did you know that?

That means something to do tonight.

Yeah, you know, with the candle, we're celebrating.

Oh my God, you guys are gonna have so much fun. But it is, and it's true. I always say you got to use, you know, I write about things like—

I have, I have an ongoing column in Penthouse.

Okay, great.

And we, uh, one of our bunnies like Ava is going to be in Penthouse coming up real soon. And I, I write about things like that in Penthouse Forum, and we talk about that because it's little things that people just don't understand. They just think Well, a girl gets wet, that's fine. No, it's not fine because she doesn't enjoy it, and when you're not enjoying it, you can't have an orgasm, right?

Exactly. And she doesn't— this is because she's wet at the beginning and she might not stay wet if it's a longer session.

Exactly, exactly.

You got to add it. So yeah, I mean, Ava, what have you learned in the 6 months from there about sex? Have you feel like— like, were you having 37 orgasms before you had sex with this man?

Oh no.

Okay, so that must have been pretty crazy.

Oh my gosh, it was a mind-blowing experience.

Yeah, I want to hear about this. So what went down? Like, there were Okay, his mouth, fingers, hands, elbows. And then toys? What toys? Like which toys do you like? I'm a huge toy advocate.

My toy of choice, I have 3 of them that I think are the best. The Celebrator.

Oh, love the Celebrator.

What's a Celebrator?

Celebrator is basically a, and we've got them on the—

How do I not know?

I will get you one. We got them on the bunnyranch.com site, but it's basically a sonic toothbrush with a little rubber tip.

It looks just like a toothbrush.

Okay, right. Yes.

And it will— we were on Stern once and we had 3 girls and they were all using each other and each one of them had an orgasm within 8 to 10 seconds.

And it looks like a toothbrush or it's the same technology.

No, it's on the clit, okay. And then I like the G-spot vibe. The little, like an egg with a long—

Right.

I like those. And what I'll do to her sometimes is I'll have her standing above me with the G-spot vibe in her, which is, for those of you that don't know, is in. Up 11 o'clock, find the corduroy, and that's the spot.

Corduroy meaning the rougher spot.

Exactly.

I love this. I've never called— I've called it like a— keep going.

But it is like corduroy.

People hear me say it many times. Yeah, keep going. I love this. So I love not being the one giving G-spot tips. Go. I love it.

So now 11 o'clock, the G-spot vibe on the G-spot with the celebrator, her standing over me with this beautiful dark-skinned body, these beautiful breasts and I'll actually— she'll have such hard orgasms, her knees will start bending where she can't even hold herself up any longer.

Because you're standing and it's hitting you, right?

And you also have to hold the toy in you at the same time and hold the other toy on your clit, and he's looking up at me, you know.

It's hot.

Oh, it's a squirt position. I have before, yeah.

She has many times. And so that's one of our favorites. I like a Hitachi.

Hatachi, yeah.

Magic Wand, whatever you want to call it.

They changed it from Hatachi, now it's called Magic Wand, but that is the best. I mean, that's a sure thing. Everyone should have a Magic Wand.

Of course, lots of oral. I mean, it seems like with us, every second or third orgasm is oral because she's got this beautiful body. She gets extremely wet, and I like it. So after every orgasm, you know, And I don't want to ejaculate immediately in her. And so we'll do that for a while. And then we'll go back to oral and just move it around.

Right. You've got to keep mixing it up. That's how we talk about sex should always be expansive. And so many, like we know couples are together and they never expand and try new things.

Cowgirl is my favorite. And then she'll make the twist into reverse cowgirl.

Reverse cowgirl. That's hot.

She's got an amazing ass. And I love to have her—

Men love it because visually you can grab the ass and see the ass.

I love to have her have a a vibrator on her clit with reverse, and so I could slap her ass when she's having an orgasm.

I mean, I was just actually gonna bring up, like, one of my favorite, you know, positions with toys that we do is actually in cowgirl, where—

which is like missionary, right?

Right.

Isn't it cowgirl? I mean, when you're on top, it's cowgirl.

Well, I'm on top, right?

You're on top, right?

So, and we'll have been to the point where maybe, you know, 30 orgasms at this point. This is the point where, you know, he's gonna start fucking me. Right. So he'll just be inside me and I'm on top of him and we'll get the Celebrator or the Hitachi, which is not a Hitachi anymore. Right. Imagine why we're not doing that.

Right.

Just put that on my clit and he'll just be like, "Just squeeze your pussy." Right.

I won't let her move.

Right. He'll hold my hips there and say, "Just—" I'll hold her hips.

I want her just to squeeze and release.

Squeeze and release. Like doing your Kegel exercises. Exactly. Exactly.

And when it happens, she just explodes. But it's really sort of— I like orgasms like that.

Some of the most powerful orgasms I've ever had.

You probably haven't done that before, right?

Never, never. And I was very confused the first time he asked me to do it. I was like, you're inside me, I wanna bounce on you.

That's what we learn, but it's not necessarily right, but you're squeezing really good.

He's taught me to slow down so much.

Sex, I always say, people always say across the planet, what's your number one sex tip?

I say slow down. Exactly. But then when she starts having the orgasm, then I'll move her. Okay. I'll make her work for the orgasm by squeezing and squeezing and squeezing and squeezing. And then when she starts to have that orgasm, then I'll start moving her and I'll take and I'll slide her where I'm only in her a couple inches. So I'm right on that G-spot and just working that G-spot to death. You don't have to be in all the way.

I know, people think the pounding and you have to go in. I always say like the inner two-thirds of the vagina are the most sensitive anyway. But guys think they've got to stick it in. You should be teaching men.

You should be making them— If I pass the test, you'll know what I'm talking about.

You do. I mean, 4,000 women. If you were talking to me about the jackhammer right now, Sax, I'd be worried. No, you do know. Those are some great tips because I tell guys all the time and it's like you've got to slow it down, inner two-thirds, everything. That was perfect.

I think guys are overly sensitive about size. They think that you've got to be just big. You've got to be Ron Jeremy to satisfy a woman when it's really not true because if they're big, it gets painful and they need to learn not to put it in all the way.

Exactly. Right? And it's right. If you're small, that might be perfect for some women, so, or any women. Some, and just like men, like some men like large breasts or smaller breasts. Some guys, women might like larger or smaller, but doesn't mean you're out of the game if you have a small penis at all. What do I like? I'm, I'm open. I like all different kinds of breasts. Yeah, I don't have like a certain fetish for certain kinds.

My list, my list goes like this: face, that's number 1. Okay. Ass, number 2. Legs, number 3. And, and breast, number 4.

Now it happens is that she has beautiful breasts and a mass. Spectacular breasts.

And of course I enjoy them and I know what to do with them. But if she didn't have them, she'd still be right there. Right.

Ava Adora.

People can check you out on the site? Yes, AvaAdora@BunnyRanch.com. I'm also on Twitter if people want to follow me.

Yes, let's follow you. Okay, so Twitter, what's your Twitter? @AvaAdora. Okay.

Nice and simple. And yeah, right on the—

And you're Dennis Hoff? @DennisHoff or @BunnyRanch is easier. Right. And we throw lots of pictures up there.

Yeah, now everyone's going to be crashing it because they got to check out your site. So what would you say, Dennis, is your top sex tip? I know you already gave us some really good ones, but if you had to really break it down, because I think there's so much in there that you've learned. Those were some great ones. I'm just milking you for a little bit more because we need it. People need it.

The thing that I learned is that speed kills. Okay? Take your time. If you just only have the time for a quickie, don't even mess with it. You're better off just waiting.

Because she's not going to get off. She's not.

But you know what? I never have a time. Like, I'm pretty busy. I mean, if I think if she was truthful, the thing that she would say she likes the least about me is that I'm just not available. I'm busy. I'm moving. I'm traveling. I'm getting things done. Right. Got a big job. And so, you know, that's it. But because I make her orgasm so much, She's never busy when I call.

I can't imagine that anybody would be, so that's a good one.

Okay, it's pretty accurate.

So what about the men who come in though? Because you're working for this, I'm sure a lot of the guys come in, it is just about their pleasure. That is your job. So do you actually get pleasure from being with the men? Sometimes yes, sometimes no?

I mean, I would even say that's a myth, that guys just come in wanting just to pleasure themselves. Well, I mean, of course they come in and expect expect an orgasm and expect to, you know, be sexually fulfilled or whatever. But a lot of it, I mean, they want intimacy and they want to feel connected to you. And just as it's my job to make them feel like the most important person in the room and, you know, make them feel like I'm, you know, they're all I care about, you know, if I do my job right, then I'm— they're going to reward me, not just financially, but also in the bedroom and emotionally. Okay, good.

I just want to make sure you're taken care of. But it sounds like with Dennis, it doesn't even matter. You're like, get this guy out of here. Dennis. Okay, everyone check out the premiere of your show, which is on HBO this Thursday night, 11 o'clock PM, The Cat House. Cat House? Yeah, yeah, everyone check it. And it's a fun— it's a fun show. It is a fun show. I mean, so much fun. Are you in this latest, or did they shoot before you got there?

Yeah, not this one on Thursday, but I'm in the next season. Oh, awesome.

Okay, good. So everyone can see you. Okay, Dennis, anything else? They got to check you out, got check out your new show. I love that you're here. Well, I'm so excited. It's been great.

If you girls— my fantasy right now— I have fantasies too.

I bet you do.

Right now I'm thinking about the two of you masturbating on this show.

On my show? Yeah. Hmm, I've never done that. People always say your show is called Sex with Emily and you never have sex on your show.

Well, we should right now. Yeah, maybe you and Ava.

Let's make an exclusive episode.

A little making out or something.

This should be the episode that I charge for. Exactly. So that is your— I'm not prepared. I have to do another show after this, but I totally might consider that.

Well, let's see, on the show, if— then just promise me this: if you have sex on the show, on the council here, that it'll be first with Ava.

I promise. How's that? I think he's better. 2,000 episodes and I— you just got a really big promise. If I have sex in the show, it'll be with Ava.

We have each other's cards.

We do. It's a real deal.

What about— let me ask you this. What about producer Lauren? Do you and her party?

Producer Lauren? Yeah. Yeah, um, we party. We party. Like, party how? Together? Are we— do we hook up? No, she's my assistant.

Judge, make the witness answer the question.

What do you mean by party?

Do you have sex with her?

No, I don't. I think— I don't think you guys ever kissed. No, no, she's my— she's actually takes care of my, my whole business and my life and my stuff.

I don't— that's why you should.

Oh, right, because you guys do. Exactly. Um, I've never— you know, it wasn't in her job description.

But neither was it in mine either, and I took to it great. I'd recommend it. Go for it, Lauren.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can talk about it. We're actually going to be revamping some things in the office.

No, I've never slept with her. I'm feeling like the ringmaster, and I want to—

You are. Is there anything else you'd like to change about my brand?

I'd like to orchestrate a threesome with you and Lauren and Ava right in here in the studio someday.

On this table? Okay, well, we'll pass it by. I'm sure the guys here would be cool with that. Yeah, Podcast One. Exactly. Right? They need a bed in here. They have a nice couch, but then Okay, we need lights.

We can make it work. We can make it.

We've got the candle and I've got lube and toys in my car. Perfect. Okay, then we should wrap this up. I've taken the menu home. I've taken the menu home.

And now I'm gonna, I'm gonna crown you as a junior bunny. So I don't want you, I don't want you giving anything away from now on. Okay. A little shopping trip, 5-star restaurant.

I should, I should hit up dudes for more money. Exactly. Who shouldn't? I just don't. I look at the stuff and I'm like, if I was your age, like, I couldn't Yeah, totally, because I've always been good. Age means nothing. I know, nothing. Okay, but still. Yeah, it kind of goes— I paid off my loan. I'm just kidding. I would do it. It just seems fun.

Well, honey, if I did what you wanted me to, could we go to Louis Vuitton tomorrow? You can do that.

I actually got this Louis Vuitton in Vegas.

But you know what?

I didn't do anything really. I did sleep with him, but he was my boyfriend. And he did say, let's go buy you a beautiful handbag in Vegas.

Let me tell you who carries that bag. Who? And I bought it for her. Huggers? Me? Judith Regan. Oh, right. That is one of the greatest bags. That's a publisher?

A publisher.

Judith Regan is my New York wife, and I got her that bag for her birthday 2 years ago. That's one of the greatest Louis Vuitton bags made anywhere, especially if you live in New York because it's got a zipper on it.

Right, because now the open ones are more— I like it because— I like the Neverfull a lot.

I think that's a great bag. An amazing bag, but this one works because it zips. I like it.

I've had it forever. But I mean, this guy I was dating, but still, we were in Vegas and it's like, hey, Louis Vuitton. I'm like, hey, yeah. Anyway, okay, this was awesome. Thank you guys for being on the show. And anything else? Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Also follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. We're also gonna do a little video after, so if you want to see these beautiful people, you can check that out and check out the show. And thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback@sexwithemily.com.

And sign up for your newsletter.

I love it. I love that you love my newsletter, right? I love that you read it. Sign up for my newsletter, check me out everywhere, and oh, I do have one more. Oh, you guys are gonna love this. Put your headphones on. This is my last sponsor that you have to hear about. Okay, do you guys know about Promescent?

No, I've never heard of that.

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And I think that the bunny ranch should be the International Testing Center for Promescent.

I literally have 5,000 bottles. Oh my gosh. You sweeten my water.

Can we have some? That's great because you know what? Guys want to last longer.

I know. And there's no side effects. Just a little bit, like a little bit slightly numbing, but not in a way that—

What a great product. I know. It's huge. That is really worthwhile. I want to buy you some.

Anyone, everyone check out Promescent. Thanks for listening to the show.