7 Dec 2025 · 47 min
Emily Morse and Anderson Cowan discuss sexting, dating, and how apps like Snapchat are changing the way people communicate about sex. They explore what sexting means in modern relationships and why people do it.
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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
A girl's gotta have her standards.
Oh my. Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?
What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my God, that feels so good.
Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. check out all of our cool things. I think we are actually launching our new website this weekend. Anderson. Hi, Anderson.
What up, Em?
I've been talking about this new website thing for, oh, a few months now. But you know, websites, they take a while, but we've been having some issues with the old one. Finally it's just dead. And our new one is going to be so awesome because I've got 10 years of material on there and sometimes it's harder to find. So now it's gonna be all souped up. You can still sign up for the mailing list. Check out all of our blogs, we update it every day. Videos, all that good stuff. And also check out our YouTube channel. And now I'm on Snapchat. Because you just. The kids got to do Snapchat. I'm into it. I just started it.
I'm so old.
That's the one on everything.
It disappears, right?
It disappears. I know. We are like, right? Everyone. It. You just.
It's been around for years, and when I first heard about it, I'm like, oh, great. So it's for, like, kids to, like, send pictures of their vaginas and then they just go away, right?
But now it's.
But now it's the thing. Like, I've heard everyone's migrated from, like, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Everything is Snapchat.
But it goes away. It does go away. But you have these stories. So you have, like, a daily story that you can tell. So it's like you just start snapping through all the day. Like, here's my lunch. Here's like, yesterday we were shooting videos.
Most of the stuff should be thrown away.
Exactly.
And it shouldn't be put out there to begin with.
I don't understand. I guess I just feel like I'm trying it out, like Periscope and all that stuff, which I'm all sexthemily. If you're digging any of these things. Twitter, Instagram, whatever.
Who's not. Who's not digging?
But the thing is, we're digging. But the thing about Sam Chat is. Yeah, it does go away. It's still a little bit confusing to me. I'm trying to figure it out because I guess people. It feels much more intimate, you know, because it's like people can really see, like, I'm in my house. I'm in. We were shooting videos.
You can do that on Twitter.
Yeah, but Instagram's so much more. I'll show you after.
But I don't.
It's like, you know, I was thinking, like, during love, like, right now. I'm glad you asked.
You can do this with Instagram.
No, no, no, no, no. This is. I'm Snapchatting you right now. Okay. All right, so I'm going to Snapchat. Hi. I. Well, fuck. I see. I'm really bad at it still. No, wait. Okay, let's take a video.
You cussed first.
Okay, sorry.
Well done.
Okay, this is me recording my show with Anderson. Say hi, Anderson. Snapchat of teaching a mitt.
I just flashed.
Okay, fun. Hi. Okay, so now it's done. And then I post that seven minute thing on Snapchat. Seven minutes, seven seconds.
That was a quick seven.
And then you could do pictures you could do whatever, and then people look at your story that lasts 24 hours. So, like, this morning, I did me sitting with Madison, which I really didn't, but I could have. She was at my house. And then I'll do walking, standing.
Why is this different than.
I don't know. I'm still figuring it out.
But vine, it's Instagram, it's easier. Twitter, if you add a picture to your comment, it's the same. It's just kids, for whatever reason. Like, this is the hip place to be right now.
Right. And I don't know.
And it was invented, obviously, for Sexton, I would think.
Well, it was. It was invented for sex.
Maybe we're gonna talk about maybe 24 hours for the nerd kids. Figure out how to capture those. Those vaginas and nipples that were being Snapchatted. And then they keep them and they can put those wherever they want. Because there's always a way to capture it, even if it does go away after.
I'm just including this, my story. Hold on. I'm just doing it. Posting now. I'm less toy.
Listen, do I look good? Do I look good?
I posted it. Yeah. I don't even know what happens. So it's kind of like you don't have to think about it as much. It's really easy just to be like, you know, like, last night I did like six of them. Cause we were shooting videos all day at the house. It was like behind the scenes shooting our videos. And then I was out with my friend Nikki at Cantor's Deli. I'm like, here's my matzo ball soup. And it was like, throughout the day, and it's your story, and then you get it.
You couldn't have done that on Instagram.
Well, but that said, no one wants you to post 8 times a day on Instagram.
Hey, if I'm following you on Snapchat, same thing. I don't want you to post nothing.
No, but then people looked at, like 5,000 people looked at my stuff yesterday.
You know what it's doing? It's just gearing us more towards a throwaway society that we already are.
I know. It's so sad. I think we should give away our phones and throw them out.
Movies and, like, all of television. Like, TV back in the olden days, M. Like, they wouldn't record it. Like, it would air. It would go out on the televisions and it wouldn't be getting backed up anywhere. And you will never, ever see it again. That was the original Snapchat Yeah, it's true.
You're right. Now we're going back to the old time. You're right. But I think it was initially I thought about it like, oh, now you can sext your partner. Or like, send the naked photos. Yeah. And then it goes away. But you can still do screenshots.
But then I guess people, you can do beyond that. The nerds figured out a way. I mean, there's.
They can hack Snapchat.
Yeah. There's websites that are. They can hack by cloud to Snapchats.
Really? That are supposed to be so secret.
Yeah. There's entire.
Dude, I'm just having fun. This is another way to be attached to my phone forever.
You've done it.
Done what?
Have your nips slipped up on the old.
No, I hope not. I just posted and I barely double checked it. That's the thing. I just sent it there. You watch Anderson and I. Oh, it'll be gone by the time they get this, so who knows? But it's just like if we're sitting at Loveline, you're like, oh, what happens in those? You only get 10 seconds. Or you could do a photo and you can't upload anything from your phone.
Oh, yeah, that's totally different from Instagram. Oh, wait, no, it's not at all.
Okay, I'll show you after. Whatever. You don't care. But listen, it's a good time. And I'm sitting here. I just want to tell everyone that I have a new man in my life.
She does. It's true.
And it's. I don't know. I just feel like a different woman right now. Like, I can't believe how he makes me feel. She's got my dog, my dog in the lap. Hi, Stanley. And I have him. You're gonna see a lot. Okay. If you do follow me on Instagram and Snapchat, you'll be seeing a lot of pictures of us.
We'll put them on Instagram so they don't go away so I can see them when I get there.
I will. You're not gonna go on Snapchat. I get it.
Oh, I also get. You know what? Snapchat will kind of force you to be in the know and be on top of things. You can't, like, just let it go for a few days. Cause you'll miss out on stuff. Cause it'll be gone.
Right.
So it's like. It's like life before TiVo.
Right.
Like, if you wanna see something, you better watch your first run.
Right? Kind of. But it's also behind the scenes. So it's kind of like a lot.
Of stuff is like, that's Instagram. That could be.
No, it's not. It's like seven seconds of like people probably might be interested. What happen now? How do we record the show?
You can do that on Vine.
Yeah, but it's much more producing tags and you gotta like think of. That's the thing on Instagram. You gotta tag and you gotta color correct it. Here I just did it and I posted it. And that's me in Loveline. Cause I said all right, that's me.
Doing Sex with Emily is what this show's called.
Yeah, sex with Emily. So I'm like, here's Anderson. I don't even know what it said. I just posted it. Because if you close out of it, it goes away. It's just much more like if I close out, I'm like, oh, I'm posting.
It's here now. Instant gratification.
So like here's what I'm doing. Here's me driving. I mean, I don't know.
I'm going to get into it. That's bad, dude.
It won't be my lunches. Although I did post a matzo ball last night.
Not while you're driving.
No. I was sitting having matz soup. I was having matzo ball soup. It was fun with my friend Nick. Cause you're Jewish. I'm a Jew. It was funny though because we were with my non Jewish friend and she's like, I love matzo soup. What's in it? We both look at each other, we're like, hmm, I don't know. I mean it's matzah. It was good. Cantor's delay. So okay.
World famous cantors.
It is world famous.
Very bland food considering how world famous that place is.
It took like 16 hours. They were really upset about the credit card splitting and it took like 16 hours to pay our bills.
I used to live across the street.
From Canters did that's near me.
It was my. It was actually my, my go to restaurant for about a year.
I wish you still lived there. Yeah, we'd be best friends.
The weirdest neighborhood over there cuz it's nothing but hidic Jews and like hardcore thugs and a bunch of wannabe actors and tourists.
That's okay. It's like a. It's like a mile from my house. You mean that Fairfax area?
Fairfax where I lived. I lived right there. Right across from cbs. Ah, seven, eight years ago.
Okay. I think.
But it was funny cuz you'd see, like, hardcore crack addicts, like, walking by, like, acidic Jews, and they kind of make brief eye contact and think we have nothing in common and then just keep going their separate ways.
Exactly. What do you think? It's. I think it's been cleaned up a little bit changed.
Yeah.
They got rid of Jews.
They got rid of all the acidic Jews.
They got rid of all the Jews except for the deli. Yeah, I know. I always feel bad, but the Hasidic Jews sometimes try to convert me.
Do they really?
Yeah.
I didn't think they were big on that.
No, they're just like, hey. Well, no, I think this one might have been hitting on me. I'm not sure what it was, but he was like, last year, he invited me to a Seder at his house. It was like Passover. He's like, what are you doing?
Terrible pickup line coming to my Seder. Want to come to a bris that I'm going to be performing?
I love to come to Zabriz.
It's brisk, right? Not brisk.
Brisk. Brisk. Brisk. Yeah. Well, they cut the pee.
You know, the real hardcore Hasidics actually suck the blood out. I'm not making jokes here.
They suck it.
It's dark subject matter, and I kind of regret bringing it up now, but.
Yeah, I regret it too.
I'm sorry. But, yeah, that's a true thing. Actually, certain sex that go way back that are heavily steeped in tradition, actually, the moil is to suck the blood out.
Suck sucker. Is he sucking it out with a device where he puts it his mouth.
Then the reason why this came to light is because, like, a couple years ago in New York, there was, like, newborn babies with herpes, and they tracked it back to this one.
I remember this story. I blocked it. Thank you for bringing it back.
Sex in the news. Anderson said sex in the news.
Ready? Well, do you want some real sex in the news?
Yes.
Okay. If a woman texts lol or ha ha, you're 39% more likely to have sex with her.
Tee hee.
So since 2016.
Since the 2016 edition of the Singles in America survey has been published, we've learned quite a bit. We've discovered some interesting information on how emojis can help your game, as well as the dating habits of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump supporters. Today, we find out the world, the words that seem to be telltale signs that a girl is definitely interested in you. Kind of say for a moment how weird it is that girl came back like it used to be, just like, woman, woman, woman. You can't say girl. Like when I was in college, like, it was so not.
I think that might have been kind of isolated to Michigan. Things that never really came out here. I call them ladies. I call them broads. I call them girls.
Girls. I just. I don't know. I've started to go back to it, but people have to wait. If the women, the girls aren't pissed, then I'll call you girls. Okay? The survey of 5,500 singles for the online dating site Match revealed that when someone used the words LOL or HAHA in a message to a potential partner, it increases the chances of a second date by 255%.
Jesus.
If the individual use those two words, it increased the probability they would have sex by 39%. Now, I wonder if a second date just means you're more likely to have sex.
Yeah, I mean, it starts getting interwoven here. It's not perfect science, but I think.
There is no perfect science to any of these studies. Okay, so.
Or there's this too. Maybe most people do that. And most people have sex and most people do second dates because pretty much everyone does the lol.
I don't know. I gooh.
I hate you.
Hate. Aha.
I hate lol.
I hate lol.
I hate it so much.
I know I do. I do hate it. I just like. I don't think guys do it.
It's just bullshit. It's a lie. You did not just laugh aloud.
Sometimes I do lol, but I'll go hahaha. Like I do. Some people make me laugh out loud.
What about the hahaha?
Sometimes I'll go, I seriously did just LOL to let them know that was real.
Right?
But I won't just lol.
Rolling on the ground, laughing my ass off. No, you're not right. You're not Rolfing.
No, you're not.
Stop lying to me.
But here's something, okay? On the opposite side, if a person uses the phrase on fleek, it decreases your chance of a second date by 26%. What is that right? Exactly. I had this discussion with Madison today. Just tell her that her eyebrows look nice, please, for your own sake. So apparently, right? It's a thing. It's a term. I'd never heard it on fleek. It means like on pointe. But it started by saying, like, your eyebrows are on fleek. But if you say it and I guess right, you, You. You won't get late. But I never heard it before, so I'm not going to say it.
These are valuable little nuggets. You're sending out to your single.
I know. Don't say I've never heard it either. I just thought I was out of it because I don't know a lot of things.
And it stands for what? I'm sorry.
Like, you're on point. Like, your brows are on fleek. I guess it started talking about eyebrows. Yeah.
Is this like, the same, like, turn up, turn down? Are we talking about this stuff now? I am so old, I have no idea what's going on.
Google it. On fleek. I don't have time to Google now.
Hey, I got a stat, too. If she writes, let's fucking. 100%.
100%?
Yeah.
100% means that you're right. That's even better. The study also discovered if a person did not whine or dine their potential mate on the first date, their chances of scoring a second date decreases by 107%.
I would think so.
Of course. Duh.
It's like going to a baseball game and the players never come out.
Exactly. You just pick them up and you're like, sit in the car and look at each other. Like, what do you do if you don't wind up.
What, are you going to a park?
What are you doing? Drive through and be like, you can get a soda. I don't understand.
You know what, though? If I. Let's say you and I were dating and I brought Stanley, I said, hey, our date's going to be walking Stanley. You'd be down.
But I love Stanley. You're right. But that wouldn't be wine and dine. That would just be a plan. I mean, I don't know. You're right. Maybe dog walking doesn't count.
It sucks. If you're a young guy and you.
Have no money, what do you do? You just spend all your money.
You just be awesome. That's what you have to do. You have to really step your game up. And. And you are the entertainment.
No, but I did a lot of artists who had money, and I always had good jobs.
Right.
I was much more, like, type A and focused in my twenties than you are now. Yeah.
Holy shit.
I know. And I don't feel it anymore. I feel so. Not like that. I was like. I wore suits.
Unbearable. Did you have any friends or people around you?
Yes, I did. I hated.
Did they all hate you?
No, they liked me. But I was very, like. It's funny, you know, Drew, we asked Dr. Drew before, like, what's the most healthy addiction you can have? And he said, exercise. If you had to. And I was like, exercise. Like, I'd run marathons every day. I'd run 10 miles before work. And it's funny because that I was. I didn't drink. I didn't do anything.
All lean, bony and sweaty.
And City hall, wearing suits. Like, had a parking spot at City.
I was like, but you know what else, though?
And I was dating artists who didn't have cars. And they would.
But you're never a bitch. You know what? That type of person you just described.
Bitch.
You know what I mean? Because they expect everyone else to be up to their level. But you don't have that vibe.
I'm not bitchy. My mom said that to me, too. She goes, you know what? You're never.
That's what it is. We try to figure it out, Em, because, like, you have all the attributes of people that we hate, but you don't have the bitch attribute that usually, like, is the exclamation mark on that personality.
You're right.
You don't have that.
No, not at all. That's why we, like, yeah, I could do all this, but I so am not judgmental. I'm not too nice.
You're like a hippie type a person. You're an anomaly.
I am a hippie.
You're anomaly.
Me, too. That's the thing, is I'm a hippie a little bit.
I'm a little chill.
I light incense when I go home.
But you're not sanctimonious. You don't tell people how to live their lives. You give them advice.
Yeah, I'm not gonna tell them how. Yeah, I don't judge anyone. I should. You're right.
You're pretty goddamn sweet.
You're sweet. Thank you. Here's another thing that's not really surprising, but drinking cocktails on a first date increases odds for a second date by a whopping 137%.
Is that the Bill Cosby stat booze.
And the most expensive dates were not in New York City or San Francisco, but in Austin, Texas. What? The average cost is $81.42.
I think they have the Riverwalk down there, right?
In Austin? No, that's Alabama, where my aunt lives. No, it is Texas. It's the other city in Texas.
Austin's the most expensive.
No, but it's. What's the one with the Riverwalk? It's my aunt. My brain.
Is it somewhere in Dallas?
No, it's on San Antonio. San Antonio. Thank you.
Let's go see a Spurs game and do the Riverwalk.
Totally. The least Expensive place in the country is Portland, Oregon. 45 a day, but that still seems like a lot. Maybe I don't have guys taking me out Portland's.
Because they're just like smoking weed, transporting dead bodies.
Yeah, that's what they're doing there.
Doing meth.
I want to go there. I want to go to Seattle. I've been to Seattle.
You've never been there? No, I love Seattle.
I've never been to Portland either.
Really?
I've been living Stanley Dog Care everywhere.
You ever see Portlandia?
No.
Great television program.
Okay.
Got to see it before we go to Portland.
I'm gonna watch a lot of TV shows this week.
I don't believe you.
I was a little sad this week. I told you. Yeah, we weren't gonna bring it up.
Em's having bad times. And actually you said something quite insightful. I can't remember what it was. Oh, yeah. As I was. As we were preparing for the show and I went to go get myself a coffee, which I very rudely didn't ask you if you.
I'm out of caffeine. I cut caffeine. Yes, Everything.
You were saying you were longing for the days of neuroses.
Well, I was saying that I don't typically get sick. I'm not like a depressive person. I mostly am anxious. That's my. That's what I. And that's not even an emotion. And mostly I identify with anxiety, not sadness. But I've been feeling a little sad. And I was thinking, God, I just wish I could be anxious again. It's only been two days.
You said. However you phrased it was quite poetic and I liked it. You said you're longing for.
I'm longing for the anxiety.
The days of anxious.
Yes, which sums it up.
I know exactly how you're feeling right now.
The point is that I gave up caffeine. I ended a relationship. Which is cool. Cause it was like on and off, but it's fine. But I just. I don't know.
She doesn't like to admit to her feelings, but she's a little sad right now.
But I gotta tell you that it feels really good. And it's like, wow. It's like a whole new. Not that I don't feel. I do feel like I was talking to my mom earlier and I snapped at her. I called her back. I always cried. Cause I felt so bad. Like, it's weird.
You know what you should do one day if you really can't. If you're miserable and you can't get off, write yourself an email and then give yourself advice on the show.
You're so right.
That'd be sweet.
I know, it's so true. But now I feel better because I have my little Stanley here.
Stanley.
Okay. The optimum amount of time for a first date is two and a half hours and gives the highest potential for a second date. If you're there for two and a half hours, you're likely gonna have a second date.
Over 70% of those on a date with a man prefer that he be clean shaven. Blasphemy.
Why is that blasphemy?
Okay, now I must question legitimacy.
Whoever wrote this article obviously has a thick beard.
Yeah, I don't care about that. Clean shaven?
No.
Are you? No. You're not clean.
Well, I mean, I'm not a lady, but I can imagine that, you know, women would have preferences with a scratchiness. Especially if you're going to like the Cottalingus town and, you know, the scratching of the beard there.
I think that some women just think it's kind of like clean. Like it looks. But I don't know. I don't think it's about the carnalingas thing. I think it's just like women are sort of kissing.
Like I could. If you have a really coarse beard and there's like food in it. No, I wouldn't want that. But I'm a straight dude, so, like, the idea of kissing someone with a beard is a huge turn off.
Right? But you don't have a beard. You have this scruffy. I don't know, that's just whatever. That's what match. I actually, they do this survey every year and it's. If you go to match or whatever, they have pretty good stats. That was interesting, right?
For sure.
But now we're gonna. We're gonna talk about sexting. Okay. Because sexting.
I missed this boat. But I'm familiar.
I know you did because you're married, but. Are you choking Stanley? This is what happens when I get Stanley.
Oh, I should have brought you the. I have my combs and a brush.
And I know I brought him a brush. Next time. Oh, do you have. No, shed stuff they make.
It doesn't really work though. And it makes him smell funny. He smells like a hippie.
I washed him last time in the sink.
Oh, are you saying my dog's dirty shower?
No, I just like. I like to wash them. But then I did buy him a brush. I have it at my house.
Okay, good. Because he sheds like a mother.
I don't even care. Okay, okay, so. But it's getting in my nose.
Yeah, I feel like you care right now.
I feel like I care just because it's getting in my nose. So sexting is a whole thing now, right? I mean, it used to be people used to email me, like, how do I. And they still say, how do I talk dirty? But it's more like it used to be, how do you. Phone sex, Right? But no one's really having phone sex.
I never understood that. No, no, didn't do it for me.
Didn't do it for you. But just like hearing your partner's voice. But the great thing about phone sex and the same thing about sexting is there are a few really good things about it. But there are some rules, and I just have five right now that I'd like to go through. Because the truth is, it can be a fun way to turn up the heat in your relationship as well as start up something new with a partner. Like someone new that you're dating. Like, before you even get into the bedroom. It's kind of like a modern day love letter. Sexting. You're not sending him a letter, but you're saying, like, it can be personalized and meaningful.
How far have we fallen, honey?
I don't know. But really, it should leave you both aroused and primed and ready to go. And the other great thing about it, like, just, like, dirty, like phone sex. What people do is that.
Oftentimes it gives you the permission to talk about things that you want, but you can't really save. Like, when you're face to face with your partner. But if you're sexting it, you could be like, hey, I can't wait for you to come over and tie me up. And then, you know, you want to be tied up.
That's a good point. You can learn what your partner's doing, right?
Because you can say it in the safety of your own house with your phone or wherever you are texting and, you know, at work. But the first things, there's a few things that you need to know about it if you want. Because I get questions all the time for friends. They're like, sending me screenshots. Like, I should start a service, actually, where I answer people's sex for them because I do it for my friends. I'm like, oh, you'd be like, yeah, screenshots.
What's it called? I call it Roxanne, but it's Bergerac.
Right. Cyrano de Bergerac.
I'm gonna just go with you there Right, right.
Who wrote the love letter? Who would do the type?
Yeah, he would tell the person how to back and out.
I kind of do that. Like, I help my friends. I'm like, no, say this, don't say that. So consider timing.
There should be an app for that.
There should be. Maybe that should be my next app.
You're killing me with your rubbing of your nose.
What do I do? It's all over my. It's hard.
She's being.
This just happened the first time.
She's enveloped by Stanley's shedding hair.
Is it. Cause I'm hugging him so tight.
Yes. And you keep rubbing him. Stop.
I love him. He's like human Prozac. Okay, so the first thing is consider timing. You need to choose the right time in two ways. Okay? First of all, if your partner's at work, like, timing matters. Like, there's always, you know, open up the sexting session. Like, hey, what are you up to right now? Because, like, if they're at work or they're in the middle of a meeting, you're gonna feel rejected.
Don't come hard.
Yeah, yeah, don't come hard. Like, I'm coming hard right now. I don't ever leave that.
I don't know what.
I mean.
That.
But if they're meeting. I know what you meant. But if they're meeting or they'll have dinner with their parents, for example, you might want to hold back on the sexting session and also make sure they're on board with it. Okay, but the other thing is, if you're in a relationship, you don't want to start sexting too soon. Like, and by relationship, I mean, like, probably a few dates even. Like, you gotta. You gotta feel the waters out.
But you just said that it's a courtship.
It is a courtship when you're already dating. But when you've already met someone, like, the one things that you can't do is if you've never. Okay. Do you know any people start sexting with people? Like, they meet on Tinder.
I can't wait to meet you.
And then you have this whole.
You get dick pics.
You get dick pics. You get naked pics. I get so many guy friends are just like, hey, look at this pic this girl. And Tinder sent me. I'm like, she's already sent you naked. Like, what is there to look forward to? And now maybe this is something that I'm not understanding. Like, girls feel like they have to do that to get to close the deal. But, like, you're Getting the whole shebang like it used to be.
No, it's two dimensional and it's cold.
But do you even want to? Yeah, you would if you're a guy. You'd watch.
If I'm a dude. Yeah, absolutely.
And editing and like. Like face tune.
Like, how do you know what I started?
Dimples. What?
We've fallen so far. Imagine back to the Victorian days when like the. The man would court the woman with like, poetry, you know, my lovely. And he would like, seal it with wax.
And I'm saying it's a modern day love letter.
But now it's just like, here are my tits.
I know. Here are my.
Check out my dick prematurely tits go inside you.
Yep.
Let's fuck.
My friend, I was out there last night. The same one I was having soup with at Cantor's, the nice Jewish place. We were talking about this and she had a whole. I'm like, well, let me see the dick pics. She had an entire folder on her phone, a folder of dick pics. Her giving blowjobs, her tits, her sexy photos. She's a friend of mine. And I was just like, so impressed. I kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. Well, just sort of pressed and amused and sort of like, you don't care.
Do you remember Steven Soderbergh's breakfast?
Not impressed. Like, not impressed. Because I don't want dick pics. I mean, just like, just found it curious.
Sex, lies and videotape.
Yes.
It was like such a huge thing because it was about this guy. James Spader would actually record his videotape, his sexual encounters. And now that's like par for the course, right? Like, they made an entire movie about this insane person who actually cataloged and filmed his sexual encounters. And now that's just what you do.
That's what you do. She had a picture of her at Canters Deli. She. She's like. And look at this. And she's like, there's me giving him a blowjob. I'm like, does he have this? She goes, no, we took it on my phone.
I'm like, okay, but does she like, color catalog them? Like, no, no. Like the whole rainbow of Bennett's in there.
No, it's just like they were all. But they were all in the folder. I got to give her that. But you also, like I said, you want to save the sex for down the road. It could be a fun way to lead someone into sexing. Like when before you actually have sex, but not before you actually meet. So a suggestive sex sext. At the beginning, it's like a tiny suggestion of, like, what might to come. Like, what? Like, I can't wait to see you. Like, it was so hot making out with you last time. You know, you can send something like that at the beginning. So again, timing. You don't want to sext before you meet someone. And maybe if you make out or you've gone out twice, you can start mildly sexting and then also just check out where make sure they're in a good place. Number two, you want to build up to sexting when you're sexy with someone. You don't want to start off like, I just came on your face or something.
Jesus.
Well, I'm just saying, you know, I'm trying to understand me. You gotta. It's like foreplay. It's like digital foreplay, so you don't go straight for the genitals. Which I've often said on the show is that, like, the biggest buzzkill is when you're hooking up with a guy. I feel like this is a male thing, but you're making out and then they go right for your pants. And I always thought just like, when you get into a relationship with someone for a long time, they're like, forget your boobs. I just want to get busy.
There's this protocol you gotta start.
Yeah. You gotta, like, you know, don't go over the general. Yeah. So it's like teasing. Start small. Don't get dirty too fast. Use your wor to get things started. And naked pictures and highly sexual language right off the bat. You know what it reminds me of? Like, the finger and the butt. Like, right before you, like, doing that too quickly when you don't even know it's coming. Like, oh, my God, a finger in my butt without lube. What the hell just happened? We were making out and you stuck your finger in my butt. That's what it's like.
A very good friend who was making out with a girl in a bar, like, actually at the bar, and he tells the story. So, like, casually, he's like, yeah, I was just making out with her. I put my hands down her pants right at the bar, right up her butt. I'm like, what, dude, you're in public at a bar and, like, that's.
Was he testing if she was like, oh, kind of into that kind of thing.
I don't know. But, like, you ignore the boobs or in the bar. I guess when you're in a bar, you get a. Yeah, but why not.
Put him up her vagina?
Because like, the. I guess his hand wasn't in the appropriate place. This is the same man who actually broke his arm while fisting a woman.
Oh, my God. Well, that makes sense then.
He broke his arm while fisting a woman? Yeah. He had to have a cast.
How did he not?
But she liked it so much. He was a giver. He liked. She liked it so much that he felt the pain, but he just kept doing.
Are you serious? Did he marry this woman?
No, he's not married. No kids. This guy's a player.
And some people listening to the show right now, they know exactly who I'm.
Talking about because they listen.
I'm not gonna out it, but I'm not gonna. I'll tell you after the show.
Okay? I know him.
Oh, yeah?
I don't want to know him anymore.
No, you should. He's one of your guys. She enjoyed it so much that he kept. He pushed through the pain.
I don't know who it is.
Quiet.
I'm not gonna say it, dude. Okay, so this is the thing. You want to open up the conversation ambiguously as a way of drawing your partner in getting them interested. So, like, innocuous. Kind of like, I've been thinking about you all day. I miss you. Can't stop thinking about the last time I saw you. Are you laughing?
I'm laughing because I'm picturing, like, three minutes from now what the texts are gonna be.
Okay.
You can't wait for you to suck the cuff.
Exactly. We're gonna get there, people. You can also start with a question. You know what I was thinking about this morning. And then, like, she say, or he'll say, what? Or want to know what I planned for us tonight. And that piques their curiosity, gets their mind racing, invites their participation. I like texts like that when a guy's like, hey, I've been thinking. Guess what I'm thinking about? That's hot, right? Keeps your deepest, like, inner thoughts and kinky desires to yourself at first. So be flirty and playful, and then don't jump, like I said, right into the sex. You want to play up the romance. Allude to candles and rose petals, that kind of thing. Essential massages. Just, like, foreplay sex. So much of sexting, the mood takes place before the sex act themselves. So again, when you're starting out early, it's just kind of like the flirty foreplay. Guess what I'm thinking about. Cause, like, dirty talk, when you, like, go right into it, like, fuck me, like, whatever you like. Whoa. Is this making sense to you? Complimentary beak?
No, I just hate the idea of a guy wanting to get to the sex scene, which I could understand. And having to talk about rose fucking.
No, I'm just saying it's an analogy. Like, it's an analogy you have to.
Light a candle in your room that smells real nice.
So it has to. But I'm not saying saying that. I was saying it's analogous to, like, setting up the mood in the room. Like, you can't just jump right to it, so you want to set the atmosphere. And then the third thing is be complimentary. You know how I feel about compliments. So warm them up. Tell them. They tell. Okay, this. This is one of my favorite points in all of this, is that you want to make them feel hot, desired and wanted. I can't stop thinking about your soft, full lips. That thing you did last night in bed. I get so hot thinking about it every time I take a shower. I cannot wishing you were there with me. Like, these are fairly benign ways.
Just make them the center of your universe.
Yeah, make them feel good.
Make them feel like you can't think of anything other than them which might be the case.
It is the case. You're thinking about them. Other things probably. But you want to make them feel good. Talk about the things that you want. Okay, this is my main point here, though. This is the one that it was funny because when Madison and I were talking about this during the show, I thought, this is one thing that has pissed me off. And if guy sex me this stuff, I'm done. Because it says a lot about him. So you guys pay attention to this. This is what you want to do. You want to talk about the things. This goes for men and women, but talk about things you want to do to please them. So rather than saying, I want to see you riding my dick, or tonight, I want you to go down on me for 20 minutes. Is that tempting? No, I'm serious. Make it all about them. You wanna run your hands over every part of their body. You wanna go down on them till they're shaking. You can't wait to taste every inch of them. Because there was a guy that I was dating for. Actually, this was a sign. And I dated him for too long, but he'd be like, I can't wait to think. Yeah, that kind of thing. Like, all about his penis and his pleasure. Like, I want you to suck me right now. I'm like, yeah, I'll bet you do. Or like, look what you made. Look what like, you made me do. And he Sends a picture of his.
It's like, what did he send a picture of him?
Like, his heart? Well, this was Madison.
His heart.
His heart. His penis in his pants. Going like, you gave me a bulge.
That's bad. I would think that'd be okay because, like, it's about you.
It's kind of a compliment, but it's like, you just really want to show me your penis.
What do you. What do you. What? This would have been better if he sent you, like, a Brawny ad with, like, a wet paper towel. This is what I want to do to you.
No, that one would be a brownie ad. Like, a Brawny ad. Wipe up the mess.
The paper towels?
Yeah, the paper towels.
No, like, I want to make you wet. No, no.
Good.
All right.
You're getting there.
He went from his hard dick to you.
All I'm saying is some guys are. That, to me, showed that this guy was really selfish. Cause he was talking about what he wanted me to do to him. I'm like, what about me? And there's also something. Same guy who wasn't into pleasing me.
So it turned out the same. Turns out in the bedroom as well.
So the next thing is you want to be descriptive. Like, with anything this goes where, you know, phone, sex, sexting, all of it. We're all really busy people, but you want to save the abbreviation. So, like, you don't be like, I'm so horny. What are you doing? Like, W, T, R U D O I N. Like, no emojis. It's.
You shouldn't use emojis.
Well, you can, but you want to be like, winky face, thinking about, like, what you doing. Thinking about your clamp, you know? So it's your chance to paint a picture of what you'd like to do to your partner. And more importantly, how you want to do it. So this is where you're descriptive. Just like dirty talk in the bedroom. Vivid and specific in what you want and what turns you on.
It almost feels like a pitch.
What this does.
Like, you want to make your movie and you're pitching the studios your ideas.
I am. Right now. The way I'm doing this.
No, like, that's what you're doing in these texts. Here's what I have in mind for us.
But think about it, though. That's what's going to happen.
You wanna green light this sex. You wanna green light this back in.
Yeah, exactly. Because it also, like, you just wanna be specific. Details. Like, I'm thinking about walking into your room and you're Wearing that. I love when guys tell me what they found sexy. Like, you're wearing those, those thigh high boots again and that skirt. And I'm gonna lift up that skirt. Like, it's great. It's not that hard. Like, think about something that we've done in the past and then describe that. Like, if you don't feel like you're that creative sexually, and this goes both ways to, by the way, men and women saying text like this. And then it also provides, like I said, opportunity to communicate desires that are hard to talk about face to face. So if there's been something that you've been wanting your partner to do or you'd like to try with them, you can say, for example, like, if you're telling a story, then I'm going to reach to the nightstand and pull out a set of handcuffs and lay back while you cuff me to the bedpost. So you can, like, let your partner know, I've got cuffs in my nightstand, cuff my ass up, cuff my arms up.
Or like, I'm gonna open the front door, let the pizza delivery man come in and rail you while I watch in the corner and beat off.
Exactly. And then you know that they're into that kind of thing, right? So when the doorbell rings, you're prepared. But it is a good way to communicate because you're like, God, he doesn't quite know that I'm into, like, bondage or I want to be spanked. Like, you spank me hard. I think that's a good way to do it. Then next time he spanks you. If he does, then it means you can't read. Okay, one more point. But first, let's take a quick break and say, give a shout out to the people that we love that support the show.
Make the show free.
Make the show free. For example, texture. So texture is amazing because you can get any single magazine you want, literally any magazine that you check out on that you've ever thought of buying or that you look at. Like, I look at them at the grocery store and I'm like, really? $6.95 for a magazine? I don't even buy them anymore.
And you're killing that tree.
You're killing the tree. So texture. It's less than $10 a month. It offers unlimited access to all of your favorite magazines for less than the price of three magazines at the grocery store.
It's like Netflix for magazines.
It is. It's the Netflix of magazines. I catch up on all my women's health articles, Glamour, Time magazine, and it's so easy to use. You click on the headlines and the COVID page and they take you right to the articles that interest you. Plus they recommend stories for me daily. And the best part, they have every magazine to choose from. And this is the thing. I signed up for it. Cause we're giving away everyone a month free, which I will tell you about in a second. But as I mentioned last week, like, they actually. I hate notifications. And since they were, like, tracking what I was reading, they're like, this might interest you. And it was an article about procrastination, which at the end of the day, didn't really help me because I ended up reading it. But it was actually a really good article in Scientific American, which I wouldn't look at Scientific American, but they knew.
It makes you smarter.
Bother me. It made me smarter. And rather than like, sitting on, like, Instagram or whatever, like, I'm like, oh, I'm actually reading more now because I have Texture. And I used to hoard magazines at my house because I did get subscriptions. It's so much better.
And then you feel like such a loser because you see them laying around your house. You're like, I paid for that. I didn't even open it. And now it's all old news. You know, I used to get Entertainment Weekly delivered to my door every single week, right? And they just stack up because they're coming, they're coming, they're coming. And if I don't have time, I feel like, defeated seeing them in the house.
Exactly. And so that's how I felt. And I finally threw all my magazines away because I'm starting fresh with Texture. So go to texture.com emily try it free for a month. That's T E X t u r e.com emily. And it's free. Check it out. All the magazines you want. And it's just so cool. Okay. Also, Intensity. I. You've heard me talk about my Intensity. And if you've bailed on your New Year's resolution to, like, work out more, I mean, how many of you made resolutions to work out more? Quit smoking. It's rough. It's February. Okay. Feels great to be in shape. Boost your confidence and your libido. But if you're ignoring one muscle group that can have you to have the biggest impact on your sexual performance. Don't worry. There's a product that will do the work for you. The Intensity is unique insertable device. It strengthens your pelvic floor with gentle electrostimulation, delivering an extremely effective and Automatic Kegel exercise. So you don't even have to do it yourself. You just lie back. The shaft inflates it perfectly, positions it to conductive pads where they will directly stimulate your pelvic floor muscle. You don't even have to do the squeezing part. Like, you really just lie back and read my texture on my phone. That's what I do every day. This muscle group gives you more control over your pleasure during intercourse. It's also responsible for, you know, preventing urinary incontinence, sneezing, and peeing. Not fun. Which is what the intensity was originally designed to cure. And, like, do you know in France that postnatal care, when you have a do for baby, they actually make you. They give you these devices, and they make you do your Kegel exercises. Because so many women don't realize that after you have a child, you have a lot of issues going on down there, right?
They make you.
Yeah, they make you. It's part of the plan. It's like, no, they don't make you. They're like.
I highly suggest you've done your Kegels. No.
Prepare the muscles. You had child come out of your vagina, and the muscles are looser. So they just happen to have a vibrating option as well. Because, hey, why not have an orgasm while you're working out? So I really have increased my strength control, and I have the best orgasms of my life. And I even stopped doing it for a few weeks because I was super busy and it pissed me off. And then I realized it.
Then you started peeing yourself.
I did. No, I'm not kidding you.
What?
No, I wasn't peeing myself. But there is a thing when you cough or you sneeze, you get a little drop. And I was like, oh, I gotta go back and do it again. It's like when your jeans don't fit, when you stop working out, right? So you don't have to worry about it. Like, so people pee when they do yoga, the whole thing. So order your intensity, go to sexwithelmy.com, click on the intensity banner, and get it. Poor mod.com and I think they're having, like, $30 off or something. So check that out. Okay, here's my fifth point about sexting. And then we're going to get your emails. Think before you selfie before you send a naked photo. Newsflash. According to Adam and eve's sexting survey, 60% of respondents said they save nudes and sex to their phone. And I'm telling you, it's True, because all my friends show me it. Men and women. That means that every naked picture you send, there's a 60% chance it was kept for later use, whatever that use may be.
60%, what's wrong with that? 40%.
I know. Why aren't they saving it? So here's the thing. Once you send a sexed or naked picture, it's gone forever. You've no idea what the other person will do forever.
That's the thing in your brain.
You think it's gone forever. So the majority of people know that a sex could be shared, but they don't think it will happen. There was a study at Indiana University and it revealed that 95% said that, you know, hey, we believe the sex could be shared, but only 12% reported it happened to them. So they think, well, it would never happen to me. And you may think that it won't happen to you, but it does. And Madison was also telling a story that in 2008 she was dating a guy, sent him all sorts of naked pictures through the relationship. This wasn't her, it was a friend of hers. And when they broke up, he sent them in a massive group text to all their mutual friends to make it so she couldn't be friends with them anymore. This girl, like he kept. People are malicious with your sex.
So I'm taken aback with guy friends that I've had who they're just like, hey, check it out. Like your friend did a cantor's other.
Night all the time.
And they're like showing me like girls that I know that I'm like friends with. Cause we all go out together and I'm like, dude, I don't wanna see. Why are you doing this? And they just, they don't get. They're like trophies almost, right? And I'm, I'm sickened and annoyed by guys candor in, in doing that. And there's more. I, I would say more. Sorry fellas who are listening. But I would say that more guys actually share their sexting pictures and their naked pictures of their girlfriends than don't.
Oh yeah.
They all, I mean, and I, I think it's hugely inappropriate.
I do too.
And upsetting.
I mean, you got to think about who you're sexting, what kind of person they are, are they typed to share intimate detail details. But the truth is you don't know anyone. You might break up with them. You think that they're not going to sex. So that's just, I think that's an important message for you. People pay attention and don't send naked. I just. I don't. I'm not a fan. We can do some emails.
Yeah, one.
Okay. Okay, everyone, thanks for emailing me feedback at sex with emily.com. love hearing from you. Always include your name, where you live, how old you are. Okay. Hey, Emily. Happy New Year. Is it too late to be saying that? Anyways? The one question I've always had is how can I build on my partner's self esteem confidence so they won't be willing so they will be willing to try new things in bed? Oftentimes I find the initial reaction to a crust is no or I'll feel silly or I won't look sexy. Is there something more besides communication and compliments to foster a more open mind and convince your partner that you find them sexy in any way?
Love the show and all your tweets, Daniel. Okay, Daniel. It could be the way that you're presenting these new ideas to your partner. So when sex things get brought up, like, seemingly out of the blue, that could be a problem. You might have to take a different approach. Because if you're just like, hey, let's try this, let's try that, she might not necessarily, like, know where you're coming from with it. So your mind is probably in sex a lot. Your partner, she might not have been thinking about a lot, but. But. And she's not even thinking about ways to take it to the next level for her. What I'm thinking, if I'm in her position, these requests might feel like they're coming out of the blue. She hasn't thought about it. She doesn't know what she wants. And when you suggest it, she's like, thinking, maybe she's not enough for you. So positive reinforcement of all. And I know you said, y', all, you're already doing compliments, but I'm talking about positively reinforcing the things that she's already doing to help her feel more confident and sexy. Like, I really love when you climbed on top of me during sex last night. That was really hot. You can say it in a sext if you want. That was so hot. You seem like you're really enjoying it and you put the focus on, like, these specific things that she's doing or trying. And that will help build her confidence surrounding sex versus just telling her, like, you're sexy. So this really is different than a compliment. It's more of, like, a very specific, like, I liked what you did sexually. And then also, have you ever, Daniel, asked her what she'd be interested in Trying versus asking her to fulfill your fantasies. Because right away she might not know off the bat what she wants to try. But we'll get her thinking about it because you say that her initial actions are, no, I'll feel silly, I won't look sexy. So it sounds like she just needs a little more encouragement and maybe some time to think about what she'd want to try as well, rather than you just saying, let's do this, let's do that. And I'm going to be honest that a lot of women don't. Many women, not a lot, but women. The majority of women. Not majority. What am I saying? Women, ladies, ladies, girls don't always have these fantasies. Some women just don't fantasize. They're not like, God, I'm dying to try this, I'm dying to try that. So you might need to help her come up with those things. You might even say to her, like, what have you been thinking? She's like, nothing. But maybe you can suggest some things, watch some porn together, go online shopping for sex toys and be like, oh, this might be cool to try. So maybe you can together have a discussion rather than a one way thing of telling her what you want to try.
I feel like I know the ladies pretty well, Em. I've been around the block and I've been around for a while, right? You've been married and, you know, I, I seem to, I know my wife inside and out, but every now and again, you guys, you always hear like, you know, girls and guys are so different, they'll. They'll never understand each other. And I don't know if that's absolutely true, but I also grew up with sister. My point is, my point is every now and again I get thrown for a loop. And just a couple nights ago on Loveline, a girl called up and she said that she'd never touched herself before and never tried to masturbate. I immediately thought of you because you kind of went through the same thing. And her reason was, I mean, I'm telling this for your emailer because just to let him know how out there some girls can be, right? Her reason why she's never touched herself was because she's not attracted to herself. And she doesn't think of herself as sexy. She doesn't turn herself on, so why would she even bother to bang herself? Essentially, right? Imagine that, guys, imagine like the only way you could do yourself is if you, like, were sexually attracted to yourself. That's where her mind was at. That's what she thought she had to be.
Right.
And actually I dated a girl in high school. I remember she wouldn't, like, I tried to get her to do stuff and she'd be like, I don't want to dyke out with myself. Like what? Yeah, like it's diking out with yourself.
Exactly. There's so many. That's a great example. There's so many women who just don't think about it. And we're so busy, we're on our phones. Like, we. Our brains don't go towards masterminded. Mine didn't go to masturbating. So that could be another thing. Maybe she doesn't. So mutual masturbation is great. You might get figuring out how she touches herself. So I just think, yeah, you got to bring her into it. That's a very good point. We get a lot of those calls. Okay. That people don't think about it. So women are not like men in that way. Okay.
Mars Venus, you know?
Okay. Thanks, Anderson. Great to see you. Thanks for sharing your dog. What's going on with all your podcasts? Yours, Your podcast, Cinematics is the one.
That I'm kind of still trying to get off the ground. We just did week seven last week. We did Deadpool and Where to Invade Next with Michael Moore. We see these movies a couple days before they come out. We release it on Wednesday. And then, you know, you have an idea of what's coming out that that week and this week.
That's great. Like, I don't think anyone should see a movie without listening to your podcast.
Yeah. And we don't give things away and we actually will bring up stuff that you might not notice had you not seen it. We get the press notes and we get, you know, studio stuff and we see behind the scenes stuff. So we have more information that enhances your movie going experience. We also hit race this week, which is the Jesse Owens true life story. But the 1936 Olympics, where the gold medal. He went into Nazi Germany and he was the first ever black track field. And Jason Sudeik is actually his first dramatic role. And you know what? This movie's good. And they're not making it look good on tv. This is a good little movie documentary.
No, it's.
No, it's Jason Sudeikis playing the coach.
I got it. I want to see it.
It's well acted.
I'll see a lot of movies this weekend. With your dog?
Yeah.
Can you bring dogs into the theater?
It's frowned upon.
Okay.
What if I. Oh, I gotta get you his vest too. Not that you should abuse it, but he can be. He can definitely pass. He's my therapy dog. Cause he doesn't bark. He doesn't. He's a mellow.
He's already.
I should have said this on. No. Everyone's gonna hate how people do that. I've been doing it with Stanley for 10 years and he's never caused a problem.
Well, Stanley's the best dog on the board. On the planet.
All right, let's go get us.
Okay, Got it. Okay. Okay. Thanks everyone for listening.
The name of that show, sorry, Cinematics. Cinematic Sick Cinema. And then addicts, like with drugs. Because we're. We're addicted to cinema. And it's on itunes.
Yeah, check it out. Okay, everyone, thank you. Also, follow me. Do it, do it, do it. Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Frickin, all of those places. It's at Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.
Okay, but first I'm gonna tell you about the end. You know, gonna tell you about promescent. One in three men, they suffer from premature ejaculation or they just wanna last longer in bed. I get that. I hear from this from guys all the time. They're like, how do I last longer? How do I last longer? You might last five minutes. You wanna last ten. Try out promescent. It's a quickly absorbing delay spray. Allows you to have the sex you want. You can focus on your partner's hot body. You don't have to think about like baseball or all the things that guys do so they won. Just take perescent put on your penis. It doesn't transfer to your partner and it will help you last twice as long. Thousands of urologists are recommending permesent, the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation or just for lasting longer in bed. Go to promescent.com check it out. Or check it out on our website. Click on the banner. Thanks for listening. Here's a message from podcast one. Okay, they've got a really important listener survey@podcastone.com your responses will help make this show the very best it can be. And you'll have podcast one continue granting your requests. It'll only take three minutes of your time and you get the instant gratification that comes with knowing you helped support the show. It's just as important as supporting our sponsors. You can tell us how you really feel about the show and help us get to get to know you better. Do it now. Take the survey@podcastone.com that's podcastone.com thanks.
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