Life's a (Sex) Party with Lynette Carolla

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Emily thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on today's show. My good friend and fellow podcaster Lynette, Carolla and I are taking calls and breaking down your sex and relationship questions and topics include what really happens at sex parties, how to stop stalking your ex, dealing with low arousal in a long term relationship. And the results are in. Study reports, top clitoral techniques that really turn her on. All this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out our website and check out our blogs. You guys, we have some amazing blogs on our site that I'm so proud of. I'm proud of my amazing team, and especially this one this week that you're gonna love.

Tales from the Sex Dungeon.

Intern Shannon actually gets into it. This is, like, the second part of it. She's submissive. She gives her detailed experience. She goes to a dungeon in downtown LA with a dominatrix, and it's super hot. And she gets spanked with, like, different kinds of floggers while someone watches her. And she has orgasms and it's hot. Never look at her the same again. So it's called Tales from Sex Dungeon. Check that out on our website. And there's a lot more going on there. But I thought you guys might like that one because I don't think you know how much great content there is there. Also, it would feel so great. My heart would warm if you maybe followed me on social media. God knows we do fun stuff there. Exwithenley, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, across the board. Without further ado, I need to get into my amazing guest, who I love, who's a dear friend and I adore to a gazillion pieces. Lynette Carolla. Hi, Lynette. Carolla.

I'm wasted. I know.

So Lynette showed up drunk, and that might be a first.

It's not very good for my brand. No, I'm kidding.

Well, you have a drink company. Yeah.

It's not that great when you show up drunk.

Well, listen, dude. So I agree. I wouldn't, but maybe we won't. Well, we're going to dinner later. We'll just. We are.

Haven't eaten. Yes. We haven't eaten. And I haven't eaten.

Okay. That's why with these snacks. Okay. How amazing is that cookie? Tell me if you love it.

Very.

I. It's.

My kids would love this. I would eat a bag of this at the end of the day, Adam would. He would. We'd have to, like, confiscate him. If he's got to lose weight, we would take it away from him.

Okay, so let me tell you, I'm so glad you brought this up, because. Okay. Do you eat, like, organic and stuff like that?

Absolutely.

Okay, so me too. Same thing. Organic, non GMO snacks, food. I don't cook, so, like, everything I get, I have to, like, order in. And it always bums me up because it's expensive. Whole foods, all that stuff. But have you heard of Thrive Market yet? Thrive Market, I've heard.

Yes, I've heard of it. I haven't gone there yet.

Right. Cause you go online. So here's the deal. So you know when you go into Whole Foods. Okay, so here's my problem. I moved to a new neighborhood and there's a Whole Foods. It's so expensive, right? So everything you buy at Whole Foods, like Kind bars or whatever, it's just more expensive. But the thing about Thrive Market is they. It's like one of these, like they cut out the middleman. You order it from their website and all these organic products are like 20 to 40% off regular. So like those kind granola. See, I love this $7 when you buy at Whole Foods, it's like $4 on their website.

I ate those for dinner, for my dessert last night before I went to bed. The kind.

Cause I was starving.

I got into bed, I had to work late. I got in bed, I had the Kind Protein, Healthy Grains cereal. Honest to God, I'm not joking. I had it.

That's so weird.

I had that for dinner last night.

Okay, so I'm taking. You probably paid $7 for it at Whole Foods. I'm just selling. I left Thrive Market. I wasn't even getting into this now. But now that you brought it up, that's where all these snacks came from. Because I never have snacks when I want them and I don't like spending all that money. So you go to Thrive Market, it's like a shopping club for groceries. So you pay a membership fee and then you can get whatever you want. And you save so much money and it's like half the price of everything else. So I'll send you all the info. Thrive Market, it's cool. I'll tell you all more about it later. But we're gonna. I'm so glad I have good snacks that you like. Cause what if you didn't like my snacks?

Are you kidding? You're a Jew. I would love. I'm Italian. You're a Jew. I would love any snack you gave out.

That's true. You gave.

You gave at me.

I gave at you. I'm gonna give at you.

Snacks.

Something funny happened on the way to sex with Emily. What happened on that?

I'm so wasted right now.

I love that.

Oh my God. I know.

First of all, I'm eating a. What am I eating?

Those ginger snaps. The ginger ginger snacks. Obsessed. They're gluten free. They have all these gluten free snacks.

They're Very deli. They're delicious.

I almost ate the whole bag before you got here. I'm glad there's some left. All right.

I know your whole crew thinks I'm a wasted lush. Listen, everybody's shaking their heads. No. Yes. I love you.

It's the most fun we've had in so long.

I was upset with the leaf blower situation in the state of Calico in the state of California. And so I told our guys that are working for us right now with Adam on our construction, and I said, I'm sick of. What can I do? It's gotta be bad for them, right? Because they gotta inhale all that.

I don't even know the state of leaf blowing in California.

You know the leaf blowing situation?

I don't.

Does anybody. Okay. You know that? Nobody knows.

Okay. I hate that.

Yeah.

Okay.

So they basically put out an emission of plume of smoke. This is not why I came on the show. I don't give a shit about this stuff. And you have to inhale all that stuff. And I said, I'm sick of inhaling this. I'm sick of hearing it. What can I do? Jose and Roberto and Alvaro. How can I change the way? And they said, first of all, do a shot. How? I don't know. No, they said, let's do it. Well, once we figured out the answer to our solution, then they said, let's do a shot. So then I did, like, two and a half shots. And listen, I'm a pro. So I got in the car and drove all the way over. Here I am on an empty stomach, and I was like, shit. Once I got here, I was like.

Ooh, but we have food now for you. Look at all those snacks, like, literally. And you can open. They got the Stacy's pita chips. Do you eat those? And the kind things and then the.

Whole bag of those Stacy's, by the way.

Yes, I know.

I'm not joking.

I've done right for you. So you also, Lynette.

Yeah.

And actually, it kind of makes sense.

Don't talk about that anymore because you've.

Got Corolla drinks and you have your podcast, for crying out loud.

Yeah, yeah.

And Sword and Scale Rewind.

Sword and Scale Rewind is my little pet project that I've taken on, that I've enjoyed. I know a lot of women out there love men, too, but they love the true crime genre. And this true crime shit is, like, unbelievable. So I found this podcast called Sword and Scale.

People are obsessed.

Oh, my God. And so there's 90 episodes. If you like True Crime, download it. Listen to those shows. However, because I was such a fan and I talked about it on my show, for crying out loud. The producer of that show said, you guys just be our after show. Like, just be the after show of each episode. And I was like, oh, we do that anyway.

We talk about it. Yeah.

You're gonna pay me to do that? I'll do that anyway. Yeah, absolutely. So episode one through 92, we've been doing. We're at episode 17.

Oh, my God.

And every episode, we're just going one by one by one, and it's. That his show is unbelievable. So basically, it's 30 minutes of me doing. And my. For crying out loud. Co host. We're doing a after show of us just basically breaking it down.

That's good. It's a good. I mean, I've heard about it. I don't have time to listen to as many podcasts. Time.

I don't have time to even listen.

You listen to my. I know that you always make me feel good because I know that you've tapped me. And you listen to the podcast, like when you're at the gym. Sex with Emily. And that makes me feel good.

Yes.

Cause I don't have that expectation of friends. I'm never like, have you listened to my show this week? I've actually never had that conversation with a friend. Nah.

Emily, listen. I listen to your show all the time. I go to the. I try to go to the gym three to four times a week, and I listen to your show when I'm at the gym. It motivates me because I'm like, did.

You get turned on?

Yeah, I'm bored. What am I gonna listen to?

I don't know. You're right. Sword and scale. Just like. But sex is kind of like.

Yeah, sex is way. Are you kidding?

You said you came with some questions for me, though. Is there anything off the top of.

Your head right now you want to get into it?

I do. Yeah.

First of all, have you watched the Showtime show Naked Sanctum?

No.

What the.

Why am I the only pervert?

Tell me about it. No, I. No, but I don't have time to. I'm watching TV now.

You're fired. First of all, I have to take the show away from me.

It's like my mom, she yells me for not watching tv.

You guys have nobody's heard of this? All right, this is a docu series. So it's real. It's not fake. It's a real documentary of this guy. In Los Angeles, who throws sex parties.

Oh, I've heard it. Yeah.

Thank you. One. One.

Shannon. Yeah, she goes to Sex Dungeons. She. Of course she's listening to it.

Oh, you're Shannon.

Yeah. Oh.

Oh, okay. Now it's starting. Okay. You know Damon. Okay, so Damon is the guy that started this whole thing in Los Angeles where he came. Oh, he.

Sanctum. The place we've talked. Oh, now it's a TV show?

Yeah.

How come I don't know this?

Because you're.

I just talk about it.

You're too busy.

You're gonna be too busy.

You guys have to, like, you know, download her.

I know.

All right. Anyways, it's un. It's so fascinating. This guy started this whole thing, and it's. It's.

We're going.

Shannon and I are going.

When I want to go.

Lynette would come and be fun. Please. She's always fun. She invited me to one. I couldn't go. It's like a party. It's like a. How do you explain it? It's like a traveling. Come on, Come on, Shannon, talk about it. Shannon, you're the real deal. So get in here. Shannon's first podcast.

You know, how I found out about it is I was a guest on.

Suicide Girls. You know the Suicide Girls?

Of course. Yeah. I love them.

Their podcast. One girl met her fiance at a Sanctum party.

Oh, my God. It might not be too late for me. My fiance. Yes.

A lot of them go to Sanctum parties.

Yes.

Yeah. Oh, the Suicide Girls.

Suicide Girls.

Yeah.

She's in the first episode. So any episode you see a girl tatted up from, like, more than likely suicide. Yeah, that's my girl. Yeah.

Okay, so you love this show, right? So you've been Shannon to the Sanctum, and it's a monthly party they do.

About once a month, every Saturday in Los Angeles. Saturdays. And now they're going to New York, and they've started to have parties in New York as well.

So once a month in New York.

It is considered a we try to sexual open party or a sex party. Not. They don't designate themselves. Swingers is defined as more just open sex. They have an amazing performance where the workers come, and they actually do a full performance that's organized, choreographed, beautiful costumes. It's technically masquerades. So it's very incognito kind of suits. Guys wear a tux.

Guys don't wear suits enough. To me, I'm already turned on.

I mean, it's actually not even a suit. It's A tux. They have to wear a tux.

It would die. Yeah, it would die.

And then the women wear either cocktail dresses and. Or very sexy, like lingerie, masquerade. And it's very dark and.

And you can choose to have sex or not. Or not. And you've had sex there? Yes. Okay.

Yes.

You've had sex there?

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

So correct me if I'm wrong. They do this whole. It's like a theater. Okay, so in the docu series, it's four episodes in, the guy started it, right? He hired this hoity toity like hotel British guy who knows how to run five star hotels. So he runs the whole like dinner parties. Everything's no, like nothing is out of place. Everything is in place. Then he hires this like German. Is she German? I think she's German.

She. I can't remember if she's German or Italian. It's Elena.

It's not Italian. She's German or Russian. I think it's German. She's a ball busting little ball of fire. And she choreographs, she hires.

She.

She has a casting call. Everybody comes in. She wants to see how you look naked.

She wants to meet up with her.

She wants to.

You want to do this? Look how cute she is. You could do it hot Shannon.

Oh my God.

We'll go. We'll support you.

Okay. Yeah. Elena, she wants to see what you look like crawling on all hands and knees, like as a kitty. Like I could do that. Yeah.

I want to do it.

Right. And they cast it.

Not Shannon.

So then they put. It's like a black tie, you know, masquerade thing. However they do this whole thing.

I've heard of gat.

It's a whole choreograph.

So what's your question about it though?

My question is, have you been there?

No way.

I answer my own question.

I've been to parties like that. Parties that are like masquerade and sex. Parties that are really fun and you do things like that. But not to Sanctum, which I've heard about for a while. And I'm going to go with you and Shannon.

But.

Yes, yes. And you can have sex or not have sex.

$16,000 membership.

I don't think we have to pay. Is that you? So.

No, but that's like one of the costumes.

Oh, look at that.

She does amazing. Her brand is Rocket Chick as well. She has beautiful.

We should have them on the show too. Why don't you ask? I went to their website once because I wanted to go. My friend Wanted to go, too, and I was like, oh, there's 18 pages. Can we just go there?

Press.

We'll get. Come on the show, talk, if she's interested in that. So we'll get into it later.

But. Well, basically, it is expensive for couples to go. It's expensive for me.

Yeah.

However, there is. They always want more women, more girls, so I'm on the their girls list.

What if Emily and I, we want.

To be in a girl?

We're fine. Do I have to, like, bring the ball and chain with me?

No.

Like, literally, if you want to do.

That, then he has to pay.

Oh, the ball and chain, meaning your husband. I thought you meant your costume.

Yeah, no, I'm like, dude, I've got, like, stuff in the closet you could wear.

Yeah, no, no, we got plenty of that.

Wait, so I don't have to.

I think that Adam is gonna want to go anyway. No, no, he's.

Have fun. Like, report back.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And, I mean, I'm sure, you know, you could always ask, does your, like.

You go with your boyfriend? She's submissive, Shannon. And she's in a relationship with a guy. But they're polyamorous. Yes. I don't know. I mean, there's so many different ways to. I don't want. I don't want to box you in here, but that's pretty much the Damn.

It's hard to describe exactly what we don't really have. I don't. I don't know. But open poly. Yes.

Okay. So they do a lot of fun exploits, hence the blog. We open up the show with. It all comes full circle.

Yeah.

Sounds like a really sexy experience. It is.

It's a lot of fun. If you're. It's one thing that. If you're ever interested in something like that, it's a good way to kind of get a taste of it.

Right? Because you don't have to have sex either.

You can go.

You could just watch the show. You can be turned on. Just watch amazing foreplay. Yeah. Yeah, it really is, because I've actually been to a few sex parties, and when I go a handful, I'd say more than that, maybe, but I've gone with guys that I didn't want to have sex with there, but it was so hot, we left, had sex in the car kind of thing. Like, it's good fodder for there or for now or for later. Put in your spank bank, the whole thing.

Okay.

Thank you, Shannon. That was awesome, Shannon.

Just call me next time again.

Just to let you know next time we have discussion.

So I'm married. Not buried exactly.

Right.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad you're here, because you're also gonna help us answer calls today and questions from listener who you know. You've got the experience of being married for how many years to Adam?

Married, I don't know, 14 years. But together, 22.

Yeah. That's a long time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you were on my show, like, two. I can't believe it's been two years because Facebook told me. Yeah, but those were such fun shows, and you told a lot about how you guys met and your relationship.

So much fun. I had a ball. I know. I know.

So we're gonna get into a little bit sex of the news right now. I thought you could help me discuss this, because this section of the news is what women want in bed. Intercourse is not everything for. For an orgasm.

No, it's not.

No, it's not. So not experience. Not experiencing an orgasm every time during sex. Very common occurrence for women. I talk about this on the show. Probably every single show. That about, you know, only 30% have orgasms during intercourse every time without clitoral stimulation. So 85% of men had an orgasm during their last sexual experience. Only 64% of women reported having one. And we're not even talking about orgasm. We're not talking about intercourse. We're saying just in general. Okay, so there's a new study. Women said, many reported that penetration alone not enough to achieve orgasm. I know you're all going, Emily, I know you say this all the time. Don't worry. I'll get there. According to women, the key was clitoral and other stimulation techniques. Only 18% of women. So this is lower. Said they achieved a climax during sex from vaginal penetration alone. 36%. They need more clitoral stimulation. I fight with you about this still all the time. Yeah. They're like, oh, my God. Really? I don't understand. Every woman or guys, like, every. Every woman I'm with has an orgasm every time? No. What about Lynette? Do you need more clitoral stimulation?

I need as much clitoral stimulation as possible.

Hence why you love the woman eyes or the clit whisperer.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

You're gonna leave with so many toys. Okay, so this is what I found. The best part of this is the news here, though. Researchers asked the participants to check off stimulation techniques they like best. So this is actually. Everyone take some notes here. This is what women liked best.

Okay?

Dun, dun, dun. Most women preferred a light to medium touch, while only one in 10 said they liked firm pressure. So don't be like, I know your clitoris is. And press down on it with your thumb. Or don't. Just.

It's always light, light, light.

Like, if anything, you guys. Five times slower, Five times lighter, like, light. Also, they preferred the shape and style. Methods that were most popular were side to side movements over the clitoris. Up and down and circular motions. I'm showing it right now with my finger, even though you are not. Can't see me. So side to side, up and down, circular, or in the vicinity of the vagina or vulva, meaning the clitoris is just that little love button. But there's so many nerve endings throughout the clitoris, like a little wishbone, right? So you see, like, there's the clitoral legs and there's just the whole teasing aspect of tease. The inner thighs don't go right for the clitors with your hard, pounding pressure.

Emily, I agree with everything you're saying, okay? I'm married 21 years. Whatever. How long I've been.

22, 21.

Whatever. I tell him what you're saying, and he. By the way, Mr. Loveline, Dr. Drew, he knows. So it's not anything. It's not news. So when we're getting it on, I'm like, slow down. And I say to him, him, Emily says slow down. Emily says, slow down. Yes, I do. Honest to God, I'm not joking. I tell them. I tell them, slow down.

Okay?

Then I talk to my friends who go on their dates and blah, blah, blah. And they go out on a date. They have the third date, the fourth, and they're getting it on. And the guy they're getting it on with is like. Like you said, like, this happens to me still, too. And I tell them. Tell them Emily said to slow down. But why can't guys even. They can't figure it out.

So what do you do?

Okay. That's a great question.

I've been married. I've been with the same guy, and.

He was always a Loveline.

Mr. Loveline.

Can't slow down.

Drew.

Dr. Drew.

I bet Dr. Drew can't slow down either.

Should we call him?

Yeah, let's call him. Let's get him on the phone. But. All right, we'll work on behind the Scenes.

I was gonna say, I think he's on the radio right now, but he's not.

No, he's not. Fuck him. Drew, he could get on our show, okay?

He could call her. Matt. Okay, listen.

But how do you. Okay, here's the thing. You have a husband that should know this.

I know, I know.

But what do you do?

I think that in the moment, you literally, like you. It's almost like, first of all, learning a new behavior is hard. It is. And it's not just like, saying, slow down, and then it keeps going. It's like, no, you stop him. Like, literally, like, you sit up in bed to the point where, like, we are not even having sex until you get this down. Like, I feel like if you just say it, it doesn't happen. You keep going. There's no consequences for him. I'm not talking about, like, withholding sex. I'm not talking about spanking him unless he's into that sort of thing. But we can get into that later. I just mean more like there's some kind of disconnect that's not happening there, and there's a way that you're communicating it, that that's not getting through to him. Cause we all learn differently, right? Like, I learn by hearing things, and I learned by experiments. So if you, like, try to tell me a recipe on the phone, I'm, like, talking about cooking, because I still can't cook. Yeah, anything. But I would be like, no, show me.

I would need to make that lasagna organic cheese.

What I'm telling you is that if it's really important to you and him, I'm sure your sexual pleasure is that it's like, we're such creatures of habit. So I would say it's like a. You gotta just show, like, his hands. Like, I don't know how he learns, but it's like, you put his hand there, you take it away, you put. You, like, don't do anything else. And that's what you focus on. And then he sees the pleasure you're getting, and that's what he does.

So do you suggest I.

Okay, should we call Adam?

Do you suggest I say stop right there. Nothing until next time.

And do I said that wrong? Because you're gonna get so angry. You should never use sex as, like, a bargaining chip, like, tool. You should never be like, oh, I'm not gonna.

Yeah, but maybe you should.

No, I think it's more like.

I think I've said it a million times.

I think it's the kind of thing. First of all, if you say this to him in the moment, stop.

Everybody's uncomfortable.

No, we're not uncomfortable. This is what we do here is that. Here's the thing. Communicating about sex is almost hard as Challenging as having sex, saying it the right way. So if you're like, stop, don't. He's gonna have some kind of post traumatic sex thing with you. So you absolutely don't want to be like, stop.

No, don't.

It's more like, is there anything that he does that you really do enjoy?

Yeah, a lot. A lot of stuff. A lot of stuff he does that I. Sexually? Yeah.

Like oral maybe, or.

Yes, oral, yes.

Okay.

And he knows I like that.

Great.

And then he does that. And then I get in, I get turned on. But then it's like.

Then it goes fast.

It goes too fast.

So I think it's just like, if he knows how to do oral, then I think it's more about that.

Why can't he be a lesbian? Like, I just want to make out with him. I just want to, like, put on, like, a. I don't know what the kids listen to these days, like, Sade or something.

I don't know.

And then just, like, make out with this. You want the romance for a while.

It's about the romance. It's about the romance and the kissing and the slowing down.

The romance.

You have dollars in your car.

Oh, my God. Yeah. That's my son's money from lunch.

And her bra.

Okay, you see? Yeah, I told you I was buzzed.

Okay. All right.

Yeah.

But I feel like he goes down and you. And everything moves too fast, and you want the kissing and you want to be turned on. So I feel like it's more about talking about, like, the state of your, like, saying, like, I love you doing that. And you're, like, literally, like, pulling his head back. Like, lightly. Be like, no, slow down and keep having him repeat. Like, if we're talking about oral sex and he's going in too fast and hard, you kind of, like, gently guide him back. Guide him back. You don't keep going. You don't say, eff it. I'm just gonna give up and go back to sex and, like, literally show him. And maybe there's a little bit of how you masturbate and how you touch yourself. So does he have a pain?

I'm not bringing him to that arena. Like, that's my own thing. Like, that's your thing. Listen, I know what he does on his own. Well, I don't know, but I do my own thing on my own. And I.

Well, here's the thing about the fast thing. I think that there's so many men that just really. I mean, I'm amazed too. Right. I'm going on dates now. I'm dating all the time.

Yeah, I know, but I feel like she just.

Oh, the guy. She just met a guy that I was dating, not dating.

You want me imitate him?

Yeah, do it. Go ahead.

I'll imitate him throughout the rest of the scenario. I'll be him.

He does have a little affect to his face.

I don't know what you're talking about. Am I. I don't have a name.

He has this, like, weird slur.

Not a slur. It's more like. Yeah, he's from the Midwest, but yet he's got a weird.

It's we. Yeah, I agree.

I agree. I don't get it. He's not like, date. Okay, so.

I've not fooled around with him.

You have not. No, no, no. I swear I'm gonna get the truth.

Out of you, dude. I have nothing to hide.

You have not fooled around with that guy.

I want. I will, but it's been. We've been so busy. I don't remember what happened. I don't remember why, because there's, like, a lot going on in my life sexually right now. So back up. So not the guy you met, but I've gone on many dates the last few years where I'm shocked, shock, and awe. These men in their 30s and 40s are literally, like, tearing my clothes off, if that. Not even my. Taking my shirt off and going right to the pants, ripping off, and then trying to put their penis. And I'm like, yeah, I know. First of all, what part of, like, arousal and turning me on and kissing and stroking through the clothing that can feel so amazing? Like, don't they understand? Have they not listened? Have they not learned? So it's not just your husband. Although that is sort of a surprising fact. But it's more common than you think. And I just feel like you'd think that maybe they would have listened. Even though I always say I don't want guys to listen to the show beforehand. Like, listen or read a book or something or pay attention. But if I could teach every single person listening here, like, 99.9% of women, they. They require. I always say foreplay is not a suggestion. It's actually a require. Men are frying pans. We are slow cookers. We need to be warmed up, turned on. And I'm not saying you need to spend 40 minutes making out. No, there's just. Even if you make out for a little bit and you take a while to undress, even start rubbing through the clothing, like, outer course, like, when you.

Were in high school, like, can't you guys remember Kate?

That was fun, right? That was so hot. Do a callback. Call back to high school. So I feel like you could do some role playing and be like, no.

Like, wouldn't that be hot if you.

Like, you've been together 22 years and you wore something sexy. No. That he likes.

No.

No.

I think that we should have him listen to this episode. That it's a state of emergency.

Okay, well, thank you for sharing that, but I feel okay. So back to this.

Okay.

You could even send him this. Want me to send this to him?

Yes.

Emily says.

Emily says side to side, up and.

Down, circular and I think adding lube. That's. Oh, you said to me.

Oh, up and down and circular, up.

And down, circle over the clitoris. But it's not just. And again, you don't go right for the clitoris because for many women it could be hidden under the clitoral hood. You gotta be aroused. So lube is your best friend. I've never given you that.

No. Yes, you do. You've never given me personally lube, but you do say that because I listen to you all the time.

Lube, Lube, Lube. So women are more likely to orgasm when you add a few drops of lube. So just Indiana University, 80% of women's study came out like we are. It's true. Even if you're already wet.

Okay.

It may make sure natural lubrication.

So why even if you're already wet.

The clitoris is not self lubricating. If you're like starting out, like, it just. It's just feels so good. I'll give you some. Did you see the vats of Joe Joe lube just dropped off like a hundred cartons here. So we're gonna give you one carton to take home.

Yeah.

The other thing is the other styles, they like, were tapping and even being pushed together like a sandwich were ticked on the list.

Okay. So back to the clitoris.

Yeah.

I find this interesting that they. So you know how you can. The women. These are the three moves. I told you what they like to also push together like a sandwich. So they're pushing your clitoris or your labias? Yes, yes.

But how do you translate that into a dude that doesn't really like, he's.

You gotta take his hand, it's a.

Blowjob and go to bed or, you know.

Right. But I feel like you have to let him know that that's also really. That he's gonna get the Blowjob. He knows that. But this stuff is important to you.

I. Yeah, I tell him that. And, you know, I'm not trying to goof on him. Do you guys ever go away? I am trying to goof on him. Yes, we do. We do.

And that would be a good time to say, push it together like a sandwich. My Libya.

Yeah, I. I tell him that.

He's like.

He gets a little squeamish. He doesn't know what a labia is.

Right. Most guys don't. That's true. I could send you home with a vulva puppet. Or by book. I know. Did I give you my book?

He did a show called Crank Yankers. I don't know if you've heard, but, like, vulva puppet would have went really well back then.

No, no, I've heard of it. I should give you. Should I just come over and we'll have dinner?

Yeah, that would be really.

She like it.

I like it needs to come from somebody but me or Susan pinsky. No offense, Dr. Drew's wife.

Right.

But it's gotta come from somebody else but me.

Right. And we talked at the party. We talked to the summit. We were at Drew's birthday party. Right. So.

Right. I think that's the plan, maybe.

Here's the thing. You know how kids like sex education. I feel like oftentimes they don't really want to hear it from their parents.

Yes, that's true.

What if maybe I needed to pull Adam aside? Is that uncomfortable? I mean, I know I'm saying this on the air, but, like, I feel like it could be casual and just be like, this. This is a thing. Only because maybe he's heard you say it a certain way, or you and I need to come up with a plan offline because everyone wants me to keep going here.

Maybe. Yeah.

And I. Because now I feel like it's my mission to help you with this because there's so many couples that can relate to this. Because you deserve to have this.

I absolutely deserve it. Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

So I did we cover this whole thing. Let's see what else?

Oh, here's the thing.

Women also disagreed with the notion that longer duration of sex gave way to a better orgasm. So that doesn't mean that you have to pound for 45 minutes. That does not mean she's gonna have a better orgasm. And here's the most common contributors. This is the interesting thing, too, that we can break down for your husband and everyone else. Bringing a woman to climax included spending time to build arousal.

That's What I'm saying, that's all I've been saying. That's all I want.

Right. You want to make out. You want to teach your breath over your clothes. Slow down. And it's almost the same amount of time that you could spend pounding away and roughly swiping at her clitoris. You could spend that with foreplay over the clothing. That's the same amount of time that would help build arousal. This is what's problem is that men, when I said they are frying pans, what I mean by that is he sees you, hot, sexy wife ready to go, and you're like, I've just having shots with the gardener. No.

I was just helping with the kids or making. Whatever. Whatever you're doing at home. We're not turned on at the same time as our partners. So there's building arousal, emotional intimacy. So you need to feel like you talk about things and you connect.

He's not gonna get that.

Okay, I get it.

He does.

Okay, well, maybe we skip that one. Yeah, skip that. You can't have them all having a partner who knows what they like. And clitoral stimulation.

Okay.

Clitoral stimulation is just. It's like a tool. Mm. So I feel like you could teach it. Like, it's almost like you need to isolate it, which. Hence the vulva puppet. If you isolated it and showed em how maybe that would work.

Would Jim Florentine be the voiceover for the puppet for the vulva puppet?

Honey, we could do whatever you want. And this is not a bad idea, actually.

Yeah, I. Listen, I agree with all. All of that. I agree. It's just getting the conversation started, that's the.

Well, I think we're just gonna send them this podcast. Yeah. Would you? Okay.

Okay.

We're gonna go to calls, right? Yes, I will. That was fun.

Okay. Lynette, this is very special. We don't do calls in every show, but for you, I wanted calls. I love the call shows. Cause I get to talk to the people. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, you can text me your question. Just text Ask Emily. It's all one word to 797-979. You do that, you get a link, and then in that link, you fill out the form, you ask a question. Also, go to sexwithemily.com via the Ask Emily tab and ask your question. Always include your gender, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show.

Great.

First call. Let's do it.

Yeah.

Okay, we have Nick. He's 25 he's from Boston, and he said that his friend is sending mixed signals and it's messing with his feelings. So let's help him. Hey, Nick, thanks for calling in.

Hi, Emily.

Hi.

So happy to hear from you. I'm with my friend Lynette. Carolla. So you've got two people here to help you.

Two gals.

Hi, Nick. What's going on?

Thank you so much for taking my call. And just as I said in the email, I've had a really close friend. We've gotten close over the years, and it kind of started one night when we had maybe a few too many drinks and we ended up cuddling for the whole night. And since then, whether we're out drinking or sober hanging out, there's been more than one time where he's. I felt it's kind of crossed the line of friendship, and there's a lot of cuddling, a lot of tension, feeling it. He told me that he loves me, and I'm not sure if it's just being friendly or if it's more than that.

Okay, you're gay. Is he gay?

No.

He identifies as straight.

Okay.

I have a girlfriend.

So the only time he's with the touchy and feely stuff is when he's drunk. Buzzed.

Also when he's sober.

Oh, okay. So when he's sober, he is too. But what do you think? I mean, I'm feeling like he has a girlfriend. Correct.

Yes, he does.

And so. And you got. How long have you guys been friends? Friends.

We've been friends for about five years now.

Okay, and when did this. When did the attraction start to kind of escalate? I'm sure you maybe since the beginning you've been attracted to each other or. Tell me about the history of that.

So it started. We were roommates in college during my senior year. We got really close, but it was just very much a friendship. He's a year younger than me. When I graduated, I had come back to visit him, and that's when it started. And I. That's when the attraction kind of began. And I would say since then, it's escalated.

Okay, so here. Here's the thing. You can't push him to kind of do what you want him to do. I mean, you're not gonna be able to convince him that it leave his girlfriend. He's gotta be with you and, you know, have this experience, although he might be attracted to you. And so I feel like you guys are really good friends, but it sounds like it's just really distressing to you correct?

Yeah.

I would say that that's the hardest part for me. In no way do I want to force him into anything or change what he's feeling. But I guess what I'm kind of looking for is a way to remove myself from the situation. And it's kind of tough because we have a mutual group of friends that we spend a lot of time together. So I don't know, really know what to do and how to get over him and move forward.

Honey, I'm sorry. Cause it's so hard. It's like you're going through a breakup. And so I would say, like, the things that you have to do are the. You gotta make the break. You gotta, like, have a talk with him. Cause not like you're in a fight, but it's really hard for you. So you have to remove yourself from the situation. That means blocking his phone number. And I know you might not do all these right away, but let me tell you what it looks like, okay? No contact for six months. You can't follow him on social media. You know, no Facebook, no checking the Instagram. I understand that you all have the same friends. You know, you're 25 years old, though. Like, there's a lot of people out there. I'm sure that you. You're going to be friends, that you have friends. You just going to have to avoid that group for a while, and it's going to be hard at first. Kind of quitting a person is like. Kind of like quitting a drug or like, quitting drinking or breaking any habit. But this was going to continue to happen if you stick with him. So you have to start taking these steps to distance yourself. Can you do that?

I know.

I think I can do that. It's definitely tough. I have tried before to kind of have a conversation with him and tell him where my feelings were and how it's confusing for me. And it worked for a little while, but then. And then after, like, a month, we were just right back to where we started.

Exactly.

I guess I really just have to work on it.

You do. Well, Nick, I'm really proud of you because it's a really mature question to ask, because a lot of us, I mean, God knows I know I've done this. I've stayed too long, or I'm like, we shouldn't do this, you know? And then get drunk and you hook up with someone and you keep doing it. Right. Lynette, what do you think?

Yeah. I have a question. Hi, Nick. How do you quit? Somebody like, you Say, you gotta like, stop. Emily is saying, stop with the Instagram. The. What kind of suggestions can you give to people to.

How does he get through that?

48. I'm following people that I used to know. I don't know how you.

You literally, it's like, okay, so I've had to treat you like alcohol. You do. I broke up with someone a few years ago and I was constantly like, I'd be embarrassed. Like, I had to, like, I know, like, my office, like, logged into my Facebook. I'm like, if they saw how many times I'm checking his profile, like, I would clear it, right? I was like, okay, you've checked it every day this week. Or I've gone to his Instagram and I'm like, you know what? I talked to a friend about it. I'm like, I'm not gonna do it. I think I had like two days sober from checking his. And it got easier. It just got easier. And then like a week went by and then I thought, okay, you know what? I didn't think about it anymore. It got easier, just like everything else. So you just stop. It's like you just have to have the self control. And so that's why I'm saying, Nick, this is such a great question you're asking me. I'm so glad. And it's really mature because of course your boyfriend, he's not having consequences. Your guy friend, he's like, yeah, Nick, I love you. We're good friends. We can be flirty, but I've got my girlfriend. So you probably want to find a relationship, Nick, and you want to be surrounded around people that make you feel good. And this doesn't totally feel good anymore. And that's what you got to do.

And Nick, you deserve it.

Of course. Yeah, you do.

You deserve it.

Yeah, Nick. Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Keep me posted.

Sorry.

Yeah, keep me posted. What were you going to say?

Yeah, definitely. I was just going to say to your comment, I definitely feel like at this point he kind of has his cake and is eating it too. And it's been really tough for me. And that's why I kind of wanted to reach out, because I feel like I deserve better and I want to be happy. And it's just trying to figure out how to navigate that and move forward.

I'm telling you this soon. You know what, sweetie? You so deserve better. He is having his cake and eating it too. And the longer that he's in your life and that you've got this connection to him, it's Blocking the other people from coming into your life that are actually are going to make you happy and that are right for you. So that's. The sooner you do it, the more the. The faster that all the good people and good energy can come in. Thanks, Nick. Thanks for calling, sweetie.

Thank you so much.

Emily.

Hi. Thank you.

I can't even imagine being a millennial.

I know. Or being anything and being in love and everything. Here's the thing. You break up with somebody or you date somebody, even if you're dating them. I'm dating a few guys. You know, one of them.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Friends with all of them. I can see what they're all doing. Like, he had a date last night.

I know how you can do that.

Well, thank God I have a job and I have friends, but swear to God, it's very hard. And you gotta be like, I don't. I actually don't really try to check that. I know already. It is kind of like an alcoholic. We're eating, like, you know, I only.

Eat these healthy snacks now.

I know that eating really bad foods make me feel bad. I know that if I go to this person's social media, that's gonna make me feel bad. So you just. It's like, right before you stop, you just do it, and you get into a habit. It's like, it's a whole new world, and it's really not fun, but it's not easy. But we can all do it, and I think we all need to do it. Even if you're not in a relationship, we need to stop being so addicted to social media. Yes. Including myself, which I am.

Yeah, I agree.

Okay, another call. So our next caller is Joshua. He's 24 from Oakland, and he wants to talk about lasting longer during sex and challenges with. With his girlfriend and his sex life. So let's get into it. Hey, Joshua.

Hey, how are you?

Good.

How are you?

Tell me everything. I'm here with my friend Lynette Carolla. She's very experienced, here to help me answer questions. For you, with you, with you, for you, with us.

We're all together.

Yeah.

2020.

So let's recap. Tell me what's going on.

Okay. So basically, prior to being with her, I. I've always. I've always been able to go at least anywhere from, like, an hour to two hours. And it's. It's always been a constant thing. And even with her, from the beginning, it was. It was that way. And then somewhere in between, when we started getting, like, really Serious. It just. It jumped down to like 15 minutes, and that was it. And it caught me off guard because I've never been able to come that quick in my life. I've never really experienced.

How long have you been with her?

We've been together two years now. And started, I guess we got serious, like within like six months is when it kind of started changing.

Okay. And that's when it started changing. And now you're. You're basically. You're saying that you're. You're ejaculating before you want to every time you have intercourse.

Yeah.

And it's. It's not like. It's like, like really, really quick. It's just. It's not what it used to be. I don't understand what the difference.

It always.

I mean, well, sex does change over time. It changes when you're in a relationship with somebody. And the truth is, longer isn't necessarily always better. So is this a problem for you or is this a problem for her? Have you guys talked about it?

Yeah, and it's more for me. She's perfectly fine with how things are. And I've always been, I guess, known for that. And then for it to change on me. It's just different.

Right?

No, absolutely. So tell me, is there anything going on with your health? Have you been to a doctor, checked out? Have you changed? Are you drinking, smoking? What's your diet?

No, I mean, every. I live a pretty active, active lifestyle. Everything seems like I'm going to the gym at least four times a week.

I eat really healthy. It's. It's just different. I don't.

And you live together. What about masturbation? Talk to you about your masturbation routine?

I mean, that's maybe. Maybe twice a week.

Okay. And what kind of porn are you watching?

It's all over the spectrum. I'm very much into Dom, so I guess that could be another thing.

You want to be dominated?

No, I guess. Okay, yes, in a way, sometimes. But then it's also a little bit different on the fact of I'm a very dominant person and everything that I do. So I guess I. I guess it's both hands. So I'd like to be dominated. And then I also am very dominant in that.

Right. Okay. So I think. Okay, so I. To me, there's a few things going on here. So the first thing, for lasting longer in bed, I mean, there's so many things you could do. I feel like during masturbation, you know, maybe when you're not watching the porn, you could practice edging. Have you ever done the edging? It's a. It's a practice where you masturbate and you. Until the point where you're just about to ejaculate and. And you're about to go over, and then you stop and you bring yourself back down again. It's like a breathing technique. So you could start to kind of learn ejaculatory control. So when you're actually having intercourse, you're having sex with your partner, you can, like, know when that's going to happen and know how to bring yourself down again. Right. So that's a practice. If you're interested in lasting longer, I mean, that's okay. I talk about it a lot. There's a lot of information about my website, but that's part of it. But it doesn't sound like that's the main problem to me because no one's complaining. And to be honest, a lot of women, like you said, you last an.

Hour and a half.

I don't know, Lynette. Have you ever even beginning a time like one. It's. Alexa. Sex last an hour?

No, not unless the guy takes his time. Then.

We've been talking a lot about men slowing down and foreplay and all that stuff. So how is your sex life besides, like, overall with your. Your partner? You've been together. I'm sorry. You said two years.

Yeah.

Okay. And how is the actual, like. Besides the fact that you. You feel like you're not lasting long. Long enough. How is the sex?

It's. It's really good. We live about two hours apart, so it's. It gets. It's a little bit different having to. To travel the time, but.

I make the trip at least shoot probably three times a week.

Okay.

So every time that I'm up there.

Normally.

Normally we're having sex, but there are those times that it's. You know, it. I would. I would assume that it'd be a normal sex.

Right. So I. Have you guys ever talked about your sex life?

Occasionally she says that I talk about it too much.

Well, I mean, that means that maybe the way you're talking about it, she's not really able to hear you because I believe that she probably does want to connect with you intimately and emotionally, and she loves you. And so I feel like. Like. Give me an example of the last time you talked about sex. What did you say? Or one time. One thing you've ever said.

Yeah, I think. I think the last time that we spoke about it, it was. It was about me going down on it. And she used to have a really big issue with that. She was at the point where she was actually. And we. This is something we've talked about. She was afraid of pretty much squirting in my mouth, and that's what was holding her back. So.

Right. She squirt. She typically squirts, yeah. Okay. And you told her, no problem, babe. That's hot.

Exactly, exactly. Exactly.

So does she masturbate on her own? I feel like that she's. She your age as well. 20, 24.

And this is another thing. She's actually one of the youngest girls I've ever dated. She's 20, 22.

Okay. So she's just starting out. Actually, you might be one of our first few partners. A lot of women in their early twenties are not comfortable with their bodies. You might be the first guys ever gone down on her. She's got so many insecurities and doesn't quite feel comfortable yet. So there's like a learning process. Like, no matter. Like, just at her age, like, she can't even be where you'd want her to be yet because she hasn't had that kind of. Of time and assurance and conversation. So I'm sure when you're like, babe, I want to go down you. It's okay if you squirt my mouth. She's like, what? Like, I'm just figuring out squirted beforehand.

Exactly.

Has she ever squirted? Has she ever squirted before you?

No.

No.

Okay, so she has orgasms.

It's got to be a freaky thing, right?

Yeah. So she's having orgasms.

It definitely caught her off guard. And that was probably the second time that we were ever together.

Is.

Is when that happened. And now it's. It's a normal thing. And she didn't really seem to have a problem with it, but.

Okay, so she doesn't want you to go down. Right. So I just feel like there's more of the. The way you guys can talk about this is you gotta just say, like, I want to please you. I love you. I love being with you. And, like, let's talk about some things that, like, turn you on and understand your body and just kind of take the pressure off. Not so much like, I need to go down on you. Why won't you let me? But you guys, you know, it helps to listen to the show together. I'm sure you've been listening. You know that it helps a lot of couples, But I feel like you just need to kind of, like, probably slow down and listen more and not tell her, like, what you want, but to say, babe, I just want to help you learn about sex as well. And, like, what can we do to turn you on? And maybe you, like, watch some porn together, buy some books, go to a sex toy store. Like, there's. There's things that you could do that isn't giving me that pressure of, like, let me go down on you. Let me do all these things. It sounds like there's a lot of different things going on here, and you just have to kind of let this all sink in with her and let her learn at her own pace.

Okay.

And just go easy on it. Go easy on both of you and let it happen gradually. Okay. And. Okay. Thanks, Joshua. Have a great day. Thanks for calling. Bye. Bye.

Thank you.

Wow.

Right? It's tricky Stephen twice.

Yeah.

I can't imagine being.

I mean, the girl squirted for him.

I've never squirted.

No. Have you ever had the magic wand? No. Okay, that helps. I'll give you the magic wand before we leave. But it's a good vibrator. No, but no, squirting doesn't happen to everyone. You're right. 21, 22. Yeah.

She's so young.

She's still. I feel like a lot of women in their early twenties. Mid twenties. Yeah. Twenties. They. They're very. They're just not comfortable with oral sex. They're not comfortable with their bodies at all. So there was a lot to unpack here.

Yes.

And it would have been like. I would love to just see him, like, you know, Joshua, this is what's going on. But I love these. Asking. I love these. It wants to improve her sex life, and hopefully they can fight again. It's about communicating. Like, the way he's saying it could be pushing her away.

Yeah.

Okay, we got our next call. It's Derek and Melissa, 47, Sacramento. They want to talk about their relationship. Low arousal.

Hi, guys.

This is Lynette Carolla. She's here with me to help you. Hi. Thanks for calling, you guys. It's going so well. How are you? We're really excited to talk to you.

I'm a little buzzed, but other than that, I'm fine.

Yes.

Let's have fun. Let's have fun. This is all good. I know. This is kind of a first for all of us, so let's have fun with it.

Right? Good. So fun. Yeah, tell us.

All right, so as you mentioned, Melissa and I have been together for 25 years, and we've gone through, like, some really Cool ups and downs and things like that. And, you know, sexually, lifestyle, it's different, and we do different things. We did the swinging. We even kind of did the poly thing for a while. And it was all good, you know, it was totally cool. But we needed to take a step back and kind of spend some time on us. And so we did that. And it's been really cool. But Melissa wasn't one to, like, show a lot of, like, interest in sex. I mean, she did have it, and once things got going, it was kind of cool.

And.

And I'm aware of that formation and physical touch. Emily, I think you can relate.

Yes, that's my love language.

I know, I know.

I know my research.

But you also know that lack of words and lacks lack of physical touch. X actually has, like, a really big impact too, you know, and so it's been kind of a bummer, you know, and sometimes it's kind of, like, sad and stuff, but it's all good. We would actually get into the act of having sex. And it was cool now, but recently, I'm kind of finding out that there hasn't been a lot. A lot of arousal during the sex, which kind of. It's kind of sad for me, of course. And then, you know, most has talked about testosterone and hormone levels and things like that. So I'm just kind of trying to figure out, like, how do I navigate?

Well, that's the thing I was gonna say. I'm telling you when I read your. When I look at this, I read. I saw your email. I read the agency. I wanted to know about Melissa, if she's been tested. Hormones.

You're both 47, right?

No, I'd like to set the record straight. I'm actually 45.

Okay, well, that's. Let me just tell you, that's about the time. Have you ever had your levels checked?

Actually, it's funny you asked that, because this last week, I did go to my primary care physician, and I had talked to her about that, and she. She is sending me to a functional medicine physician, and I'm hoping to get all the tests when I go there.

First of all, you've been together a long time. You're trying all these things, and I love how open and how you're communicating. I mean, that's. I mean, really, you guys are great. You're in such a great position. But I got to tell you, arousal, desiring sex. So you're saying you're not even turned on? Like, you're not getting wet and you're not desiring sex. So there's like, arousal and desire. Neither one of those is really like. Melissa, can you. Do you know the difference? Kind of. It's kind of hard to sometimes. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, when you're having sex, are you turned on, or do you just think about sex? Like, where are you at, Melissa?

I don't.

I don't have it just pop in my head through the day. It's not something I think about a lot or very much at all. Like Eric said, it used to be I wasn't really into it, but once we would start having sex, then it was fine and it was great, and. And I would, yeah, definitely show the signs that I was into it. But I'm noticing that that's less and less.

Well, okay. So I think. And I think, Lynette, I think this is a great time to talk about it. I can't wait to hear what your doctor says. And I gotta be honest, though. Western medicine doctors aren't always great handling women with hormones. And you might have low testosterone, estrogen. A lot of women, they're giving them the estrogen patch. It doesn't necessarily work. And actually, Lynette, I'm so glad you're here. I think that you could. Again, I could give you a lot of different things to talk about right now, but I actually. What you're describing to me sounds like it might be hormone. So, Lynette, will you talk about your experience? Because I'm actually, What she's gone through has been amazing, for sure.

So, Melissa, have you had your hormones?

She just did. She said she hasn't gotten tests back yet. Okay.

So I went to an ob GYN that specializes in hormonal therapy. And what. What that means is they basically check your hormones, and they'll decide whether you need more progesterone or testosterone or whatever it is. They'll level it out, and they'll give you what you need. And I had to get pellets because I had no testosterone, which means my sex drive was very. Was basically zero. So they gave me these pellets. What they do is they just give you, like, an insert in your. In your side, in your. In your hip. And they just.

It's. It's.

It's. A lot of obgyns do it now, I think.

Do they? I haven't heard that many do it, but I. I'm very interested as well, but I feel like it's not as common of a practice. But you should look around. They're not talking about testosterone. As a month much. I feel like it's newer science and you guys are in Sacramento, maybe.

Ollie, I highly. If you can find a doctor that can do it, I highly recommend it because it changed my life. It really.

You did it at 45, right?

Yeah, I'm 48. I did it at 45 and it changed my life. I didn't have to be on antidepressants. It made my sex drive go up. It took a while to get even into. My levels were even. But it doesn't take that long. And you go every four to five months, they insert the pellets and first they do the blood test, and then they see what your levels are. And then after that they figure out how much testosterone progesterone you need. And then after that, they adjust. They adjust, adjust, adjust, Keep going. Every four months.

And I feel like there's a lot of women who don't really have this kind of information about this. So what do you think about this, Melissa? Well, that is.

Actually, we just stumbled upon this this last weekend because I was listening to a podcast, the Lady Gang, and Candice Birch was on, and she's a hormone health educator. And so I learned quite a bit about the hormones and that there could be a lot more connected to that than what I realized.

Because what you're talking about is arousal. Yeah. I mean, that's what you're talking about right now. So I almost feel like, why don't you get your test back? If that's. That's not it, then I. Then you guys are calling into the next show. But I feel like you guys are trying all these things to make it work, and you're telling me that it used to be that you got turned on in the middle of sex and now you're not. And I feel like that there's not a lot of information out there for women right now about this. And so if your doctor's like, I don't know, I don't know, I would find another doctor because there are doctors that specialize in hormones and you're right at that age. Yeah. So perimenopausal and. Yeah. So can you keep us posted and let us know if that works for you?

Yes, we can.

Yeah. Okay, cool. Thank you. Thank you both. Good luck, you guys. Good luck. Thank you. Bye.

Oh, thank you.

Bye.

Thanks so much.

They don't realize that it's out there, that there's something out there that can help you with your sex drive and your just in your energy.

Right.

Like your day to day.

It's so true. And women, I think also to say, like, take an antidepressant or do something like that before that that we'll talk about. But people do that. They're on antidepressants and other things can help.

We all need it. I don't need it.

Yeah, I love it. Okay, so this has been a fun show. Lynette, I'm so glad you were here. How can everyone find you?

Lynette, you can find me at lynettecarolla@l y N E T T E C A R O L L A At Twitter, Facebook. I'm AnnetteCarollette. All across the board. And for crying out loud. For crying out loud. And sword and scale. Rewind. And Mangria. Yes, Mangria.

Which are delish. Yeah.

IPA beer, which is out now.

Yeah, I want your beer.

I have beer. I brought it for you.

Oh, my God. Okay, so we're gonna put all that on our website as well, but follow Lynette. She's awesome and beautiful and smart and hot. Thank you to my amazing team. Thank you to everyone for calling in. You're so great. The listeners, callers, right? Yeah. I love my team. Thank you to everybody. Ken, Jamie, our intern, Shannon, producer, Lark, Michael. God, I have a good team. I love them. Okay. And thank you, everyone, for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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