Lubricate, Masturbate, and Then Communicate

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jiu. It's a sleek, powerful Rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes JJOO is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super so soft, ultra quiet and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the Hera and right now you can get 20 off the hera using code EMILY20@sexwithemily.com hera that's EMILY20 for 20 off at sex with emily.com h e r A so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Thanks so much for listening to the Sex with Emily show. I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve. I want to give you the best show possible, so I so appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. Fleshlight is the number one sex toy for men. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even when you don't have a partner? The Fleshlight. The most popular sex toy for men. It simulates the sensations of sex. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal and many people think it feels better than sex. Not that you'll never want sex again, but they also have the Fleshlight stamina training unit. It helps you practice lasting longer and becoming a better lover. Plus, you'll experience some of the most mind blowing orgasms of your life. And you ever fantasize about having sex with your favorite porn star? Well, now you can. Janet Jameson, Christy Mac, Joanna Angel, Jessica Drake. They're available in realistic flesh tone color with popular lotus texture or the all new unique signature line of textures. Each custom molded Fleshlight Girl masturbation sleeve is an exact mold of each star's most intimate parts. Go to sexwithemily.com fleshlight to get your Fleshlight.

Now look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that Mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone age. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. That feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com and check out all of our posts. We're doing, like, blog posts every day that'll help your sex life. And podcasts. Not only are we doing two podcasts a week, which we've had some great ones lately. You can find them on itunes. You should just subscribe. It's super easy. And then you'll never miss another show again. But we're also posting, like, shows that I've done, like, a year ago, six months ago, because, you know, it sucks. It's evergreen. Like, if I was telling you about how to perform oral sex six months ago, it's still the same. And some of you are new listeners. You might have missed them. We've got 2,000 shows, and they're not all on itunes right now. So, anyway, I love hearing from you. I've been getting tons of great emails that you send to feedbackaxwithemily.com Lots of you are also hitting me up on Facebook with questions, which is my Sex with Emily page, and on Twitter, sex with Emily. And just however the hell you want to get your question answered, you can ask me. Also, I've got a survey on my site. It will literally take you two seconds to answer. It just has, like, three simple questions. And it'll really help me make a better show for you because I know that's what you want. And if you like the show, help me out. Tell your friends about it. Share it with them. You know, tweet me about it. Do something. I love that. I'm here with Anderson tonight.

Literally.

Literally. I'm sorry I said literally. I felt like. I feel. I felt like the bell had to go off or something.

It'll take literally probably 15 seconds to fill that. Those four.

No, but it's literally. It's four. We hate the word literally.

Literally, though, not two seconds.

And when I said it, I knew that it was wrong. Literally is an annoying word. I'm sorry. Anderson is the sound engineer for Loveline, which I do on Thursday night, but he also has a great podcast, the Film Vault.

Literally called the Film Vault.

Yeah, it's literally called the Film Vault, and he literally rocks. So you should all listen to it. And After Disaster, why don't you talk about that?

Thanks, Missy. The After Disaster is fun, but it's a harder sell because it's three chuckleheads talking about whatever.

But I got chucklehead listening.

Yeah, it's true.

People love your shows.

People love the. People love the Anderson, the After Disaster, but it doesn't have a hook. It's hard to expect.

Film Vault is like Film Vault.

Like, this week we're doing Top five Movie Moms because of Mother's Day coming up, which normally we don't do, but our guests kind of demanded that we have a. A recently mothered guest who's going to be on the show with us, who we disturb on a regular basis, and we'll be talking about top five Movie Moms. I'm sure one of mine will be a serial killer.

Oh, really?

You're darker than I thought.

The After Disaster. Last week, we got a lot of flack because we played audio of two teenagers actually being killed, so. Oh, that's that kind of show. But it's a comedy. It's a comedy.

You know, I love that you all like my podcast, but I don't know. I'm here. I. I'm here to open you guys up to another world of Anderson's world, because he's a good guy and he.

Does a good job. Thanks, kid.

Yeah. Love you. Anderson. So good to see you. And I'm sorry if I've seemed a little. I've been a little off, I think just a little. But I actually had a great weekend. I just. Just, you know, a lot going on with work and life and whatever, but I have to tell you that I had a great weekend. That it sort of turned out. It started out weird. So, first of all, it was so. I mean, I'm sorry to everyone who lives in the Midwest and everywhere else, because it was frigging hot here. It was like 95 degrees.

Uncomfortable, though. It wasn't a good.

Hot, uncomfortable hot. And I, you know, I have air conditioning. Los Angeles, you got to have air conditioning. San Francisco, you never need it. So the point is, I haven't used it in a while. I go to term, I walk in that. It's 88 degrees in my. I have a little cottage Little house I live in, and it's 88 degrees and it's. And the air conditioning's not working. So I'm like, God damn it, what am I going to do? So I text my landlord. I'm like, listen, my air is broken. And he's like, I'll try to come by tomorrow and fix it or sometime tomorrow. So what I do is I land. I landlord proof my home, which is kind of like childproofing your home. But, like, I don't want him to come in and see. It's pretty good shape right now. But as you all know, if you've been a longtime listener, I do get a lot of sex toys that I have to review and try out and, you know, every once in a while, pleasure myself as well along the way. But I happen to. So. So I live in a small. I have a very small bedroom, and I don't have a lot of storage, and. But I do have a very organized space for all my toys. They're in, like, this little drawer by my bed, and I keep them hidden. Cause you never know who's coming over. But my bed. Okay, so here's the thing. So I. He's coming over the next day, I figure. So I. I put all my toys. They're to the left of my bed, but you have to, like, walk around the bed and, like, you wouldn't see them unless you had to walk around the bed. There's a very narrow space. But I was also looking for sex toy in particular from Funt Factory, which is called the Zwe or Zwei or whatever. S W E I. It's like the thrusting thing and good vibrations. You know who I love send me toys. Like, have you tried it? Have you tried it? So I got in this mode. You know when you're looking for something and you kind of go crazy and you dump everything on the ground? So I dumped all my toys on the ground, which is literally, like. And then I decided, like, I started obsessing. Like, I want to charge them all.

Wait, so there's a. Wait, there's a mountain of sex toys.

Yes.

In your bedroom, but it's to the left.

Yes, but my bedroom got that. You can't see it.

What's your landlord like? I'm trying to imagine.

Okay, so here's the problem. My landlord is an old Russian man who doesn't like me very much, I don't think. But I don't think he really likes anybody. I think that he. He. He kind of gets annoyed with me. He knows I do for living. He goes into the garage where I keep all my sex. Like, I have my own garage there. But it's like all sex stores. Like, literally, storage. One day, if you walk in, you'll see, like, a sports sheets, like a gag thing for your mouth. You'll see, like, a whip. You'll see change. You'll just see some weird stuff. Liberator wedge. So that's my landlord. And I know he knows what I do for a living, because one time he goes, I know you do that sex stuff. I mean, but he always gives me weird looks. No, he's. Was that Asian. That was a Russian. I thought that was Russian. So. But, you know, he's older, and he just seems a little cranky sometimes. And so I just. I don't want him. I don't want anyone coming in, seeing all this stuff. But.

All right, so you have them in a pile. You dump them all out. Cause you're looking for one in particular. And then. And then it occurred to add, Emily. Hey, I should charge all these while they're.

Right. So then I was like, oh, my God, this is a great time to organize them. Because it's. Stresses me out. Because what happens is there's so many great toys these days. They're all rechargeable, but all the quarters of it. So then I start pulling out my label maker, because I'm obsessed. And I start labeling the chargers of which toy they go to, because I have, like, 50 of them. And granted, I've weeded them out. So then I have. I pull out my charger, my extension cord charger. You know, the power charger. With like, 10. What is it called? With the 10 different charging.

Like a bar.

Power bar. Power bar. Whatever it's called the charging bar. So they're all charging. And then. And then I get in this drawer. That's annoying. This three. And I dump them all out. So they're all charging. I've got, like, on the. So I leave, right? And I leave for the night because I go to stay with some friends in Venice because I have friends in town in San Francisco. But I figure I'm shutting all the windows. All he has to do is come and fix the air conditioning. There's no. And the window is next to my bed. There's two windows in my place. One in the kitchen and one next to my bed. Buy the sex toys. But I figure he's not gonna come in and open the. Why is he gonna go around there? Because the windows are shut. He'll fix the air conditioning. Which means that he won't have to open them. Whatever. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, I'm very foolproof that my toys are out. There's no way he can see him unless he ekes into this little thing. Long story short, I come back the next day in the evening, and the windows are open in my place because my landlord came in to fix it, realized he couldn't fix it, and so he opened the windows so I wouldn't be so hot.

That means he had to walk around to the side of the bed with all of the sex toys in and.

Step over the mountain of fixtures.

But not only that. I looked down and I'm like, oh, my God, the windows open. They were supposed to be completely opposite. The air conditioning fixed. So he was trying to be nice by opening the windows. But let me tell you what it looked like, and I should take a picture of it. There was like. There was a whip. There was a few whips. There was a paddle, like a leather paddle. There was a huge liberator wedge. You know the liberator wedge?

No idea what that is.

Okay, so liberator is amazing. It's furniture. It's like sex furniture, but it has these cuffs, um, all for everything. I'm talking about. If they sound interesting, go to goodvibes.com, use coupon code Emily, and you get 20% off.

It does sound like the opposite of a liberator. I gotta get it right.

A liberator makes sense.

Sounds like you're unliberated while you're wearing.

It's a wedge. So women should often be to have orgasms more readily. I often say, put a pillow underneath your bum to rise yourself up. Or if you're doing doggy style, it's really comfortable. Like the wedge. It was like in a famous movie with Brad Pitt years ago. He carries the wedge around. Do you know? Oh, you're a movie guy. Yeah, it was like six or seven years ago. It was Brad Pitt, and he plays kind of a geeky guy. He runs a business and.

Oh, yeah. Burn after reading.

Yes, thank you. I love you.

Did not like the movie.

So anyway. But then there's like six toys charging. They're all phallic shaped.

Wait, so the mountain is no longer there? You've already organized?

Well, it's. It's. No, it's an unorganized mountain. Because there's.

Please tell me, Emily, that there's like a trail right through the middle of the mountain. Like he just trampled right through.

Trampled through the mountain to open the window. Because it's like a. It's like. It's probably about a foot. Like you have to lean. You can't quite. But he had to lean over all the toys. So that was very embarrassing. And then I told him that the dryer was broken. And he. And it was turned. It turns out that there was two pairs of my little underwear panties stuck in it. And he puts them with the lint on my walkway. So I think he's angry.

No, that's a sign.

No, it's not a sign. He could have put him in my house.

It's a message.

It's a message that your little panties are the one who broke the dryer. And you. You, you, you. You are a crazy sex fiend.

Word. Panties. Is that okay?

I hate that one.

I've seen a couple times now.

But underwear.

I was surprised by that because most ladies don't like the panties.

I hate the word panties and I hate the word literally. But I'm just messing up here. But do you understand how embarrassing that is? That it was the one time, because I'm very discreet about my toys. That there was a mountain, there was DVDs, how to, you know, anally penetrate him. I mean, it was like all of my sex world was. I vomited my sex toys and he had to open my goddamn window in the one spot of my house.

So landlord Sergey. I had to actually put a hand on the wall. He had to put a hand on the wall.

He had to lean over the. He's a heavy man.

What if he slipped and fell? He might actually be one of the.

First people that would actually go to.

The doctor and have something stuck inside of him. And he wouldn't be lying. I was mortified by the first ever.

Exactly. So I was mortified by that. But that's how it started. No heat. I had to leave. And the sex toys everywhere.

No.

Cool. But then I went to. Does that make sense to you? That was crazy. So then. And it's embarrassing. Cause I try to be so discreet with him because I know what he already thinks of me.

I don't like the move. Leaving your panties on the. All the school kids in your neighborhood to grab.

But it was sort of like he was pissed at me that I broke the dryer.

You know what I think that he might be suggesting? Hey, maybe you're using your dryer as a sex toy because you're bored with all these other ones, obviously. Or you got to recharge them. So maybe you ran out I'm afraid I'm gonna get your panties in there because you were using the thing inappropriate.

They had lint on them. So I know that he fixed the dryer as well, but by saying, like, it was your mess up that the dry. He's just angry I'm gonna get evicted. I feel that he already has these feelings on me. So there was that. But then Saturday night, I went to a lingerie show, which was super hot in Venice. I was back in Venice, and it's this new line called Wylie Wilson. W Y L I E Wilson. And she makes super hot clothes. And there were all these models there, and we were all trying on lingerie, and it was super hot, sexy scene. But you should check out her stuff. And she's gonna give me some product.

Explain more. Is it in a publix?

So it's a little. No, it's on Abbot Kinney, which is a really hip street in Venice. And it was.

Paparazzi's always hanging around up there.

Yeah, there was tons of photographers, and there was all these sexy models walking around. But her lingerie, her whole thing is so. Okay. If you're a woman and you're listening this. You know what I'm saying? The underwear bra is a pain in the ass. If you have a size. If you're over a size A, you have to wear underwire because it pushes your bras up. But, like, the second you get home, you want to take off your bra. So she has developed this system of underwear, of bras that are super sexy, that don't need an underwire, but they have a lift with, like. With, like, a band. And all of this stuff is, like, little shorts, and it's mesh and lacy, and it's just all different kinds. Bodysuits. Remember hot bodysuits from, like, the 90s? And I was just, like, trying it all on. There were models there. They were in the dressing room with me, like, helping me try stuff on. We were all kind of getting naked. They were touching my breasts. It was kind of hot. But there's no sex.

Kids are so different.

But I got drunk, and it was sexy, and I never get that drunk. And I was like. It was really.

When they're touching your boobs? Because, I mean, is there any kind of excitement going on a little bit.

When they were, like, snapping the snaps with the batty suit?

It was snapping the What's.

Well, it was a bodysuit. Snaps.

Oh, okay.

Those little love snaps on. You remember body suits?

Really? You said that just now.

So they have these little snaps so it's a bodysuit, but it snaps in your vagina, like right there. So you have to.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Remember girls worm.

So it's tight and if you undo it.

And they were like kissing my breast and snapping me. And it was kind of sexy, guys. There was like chocolate covered strawberries and lots of guys walking around. But it wasn't like creepy, like lurking men. It was just sort of a fun vibe. And it's all about lingerie. And it was really fun and sexy and there was a fashion show and her stuff is just really cool and unique and I like to support her and I put it on my Instagram. Check out my Instagram sex with Emily. So it's like a fun weekend overall, except for me coming back and finding out that I could possibly get evicted for being crazy. So that's fine. Not crazy, but just being me. And. But then I think, like, he's seen guys drop me off. Okay, I don't want to get off the whole thing, but I go, I date and I share a driveway with him. And oftentimes he pulls up and I'm making out with a guy in the driveway.

Oftentimes he pulls up.

Okay, I'd say in the 60s, random dude in the driveway. Like probably four times in the last six months.

How many times do you think this Russian landlord of yours has pleasured himself to you?

I don't think he does.

How many times?

I don't think he does.

And then hates himself afterwards. Hates himself afterwards.

But then he's like, no. He just looks angrily at me like, you're in my way. Making out my driveway with another guy in a different car.

Are you actually in his way when that's happening?

I even look at the small driveway he's trying to pull in and I'm just like, oh, God, I'm making. And then I duck because I hope he doesn't think it's mean, but he knows I don't have a weird situation. But I have a great deal in my place and I don't want to get evicted.

If you do get evicted and if he puts down for reasons why, it's gonna be difficult.

If you wanna evict me for having sex toys, I could sue him. I'm not like loudly using my sex toys as far as he knows. So that was my weekend. How was your weekend?

It was good. I can't remember it.

Awesome. That means it was good. So today's show, we're gonna be answering your emails because I'M getting so many great emails from you guys and I wanna get back to you. So that's what I like to do. We're gonna be talking about masturbation because you know, may is masturbation monthly. Satisfying inexperienced lover of a woman feels a little inadequate. Some anal sex tips and a guy who lasts a little bit too long on what to do and a few other things. We'll see what we can get to tonight because there's a lot and I've got a little bit of sex in the news for you all because you know, we love a little craziness about what's going on in the world with sex in the news. A woman was arrested after advertising on Craigslist for sex act with a horse. But she's actually transgendered. So she's a woman. In Maricopa, Arizona, a 22 year old woman was charged for seeking to play with a male hors.

She used to be a man and now she's a woman.

Yes, exactly. Cops used their own police horse and went undercover to prompt a meeting with the suspect. The suspect was immediately taken in custody where he admitted he. She admitted to placing the ad and stated the intentions to consummate the act. So the police had to get their horse in Arizona. Giddy up, giddy up. And arrested her. Now first of all people, Craigslist is per patrol. The Craigslist is like heavily.

Just like that. She was excited.

He think the horse was pissed that it didn't get to happen.

Yeah, probably they arrest him. But like really people, Craigslist, they're watching you on Craigslist. But you shouldn't even be having sex with an animal. So I don't even know why I'm giving you tips on that. You went in the wrong place.

There's a really creepy documentary all about this called Zoo. It's very creepy documentary.

I've talked about it on my show.

Mr. Hands up in Washington area.

I don't want to know creepy. I've heard about this stuff. I can't even watch it. Okay. Sending and receiving sex messages is a normal part of teen relationships. So this is for you parents out there or just you young ones, listen to me. A survey of high school students has found that sending and receiving sexually explicit messages and messages is normal part of most teenage relationships. Researchers found that more than half of all those surveyed had recently received a sexually explicit text message. And 26% reported sending sexy photos of themselves. Like, what are like 14 year olds are people? I don't care what age you are. I Just don't think it's a good idea to send naked pictures of yourself. Sexting is fine, but in high school. I get it. But don't ever send naked pictures, because this is what's happening, especially if you're in high school. This is for the women. The guy that you sent the picture to, he looked at it for a second, and the next thing he did was he turned to the entire football team or whoever was sitting next to him and showed them your photo.

That is true. About 90% of the dudes are douchebags in that sense.

Yeah, 90%. And my guy friends, who are not necessarily douchebags, they share them with me as well. So not only you sending this guy because he asked you to, because he probably did. I think that's what they do. I think it's like, there's an expectation now that women should be sending sexy photos.

We're just at the level where selfie generation. You got to do that.

You got to do it. I mean, guys, like, send me a sexy photo, and they do it, and it's upsetting me because they're gonna go apply for a job in five years, and there's your sexy photo on the Internet.

I'm so pissed at my parents for not having me, like, 15 years earlier.

I know.

It's so upsetting.

Earlier or later?

You mean later? You're right. Yeah. Because it's like, it's. It's these kids nowadays. God, I feel old and sound old. But they don't have to have the balls to actually go up and talk to a girl. Because you can just text her.

Exactly.

And then they can see her naked without ever even making eye contact with her. It's just not fair.

I know. And they could break up with her too, after that, the whole thing. And they're not talking to each other. They remember, like, I used to in high school, talk on the phone for hours. Like, with guys.

Remember when the phone would be ringing and you'd be, like, nervous and sweating and, like, what am I gonna say? And then if you got the voicemail, you weren't sure if you should leave a message or not. And every time you did, you're like, why did I do that? Yeah, that doesn't happen anymore.

No, it doesn't happen anymore.

These pussies, they don't have to deal.

They don't talk. They. No one talks. And even people in their 20s, 30s, whatever, no one talks anymore. It's all text messaging, which was how I found if I like someone or not was like, Getting to know them on the phone and if I would go out with them. But now it's like if you're a good texter or you know how to woo someone. But I guess it doesn't surprise me because it's all about the phones and they're all doing Instagramming and all that stuff anyway. But I'm just. I worry about my nieces is what's upsetting me.

Snapchat.

I do. They do Snapchat.

How is Snapchat so popular all of a sudden? It's a thing that just. I understand.

I have it. I don't have it.

How it's useful for memory because, you know, it doesn't clog up your phone with a bunch of old pictures.

Yeah.

But the whole thing is like, you send a picture of your vagina.

Yeah.

And then it's supposed to go away, but every guy knows how to take a quick screen grab.

I don't know. It's. Snapchat is my nieces are crazy, but I have it. Have you ever done it? Like, I've done it like once or.

Twice, but it's been around for a long, long time. But it's just become like the new thing that everyone's doing now.

People send out to their whole networks. You could pick who you send it to. I don't do the Snapchatting thing. I barely have time to eat dinner at night. But I get that people are doing it. But don't send naked pictures of people. I know that I'm. You're not going to listen to me because you think if you do send it with a headless. Without your head, faceless.

Make sure tattoos are not visible.

Everything like that.

It's gonna happen, though.

And also, why don't you be that one that says, no, I'd rather have you seen in person when we get to know each other or something. Like, why not be that person?

I was talking about this on the After Disaster. Actually. This is the kind of stuff that we talk about. And it occurred to me that especially when you're younger, women are like lottery tickets to men. You guys are like scratchers. And we don't know if you guys are a winner or a loser. Most scratchers are losers. Right. So once you scratch or have sex with the girl, once you scratch a scratcher, if it's a loser, you lose interest immediately afterwards.

That or after you had sex.

Just because after you have sex, you realize you conquered her and she's. You know, there's a thrill there. But it's not Like a jackpot, right? So you move on and you don't care about that scratcher every now and again. Guys are stupid and they don't realize they won because they misread the scratcher and they'll come back later. But for the most part, be like an unscratched scratcher and you'll continue to be.

Meaning what? Don't give it up so fast.

Don't give it up so fast because.

It'S part of the chase. Because here's the thing about attraction and about dating and about love and finding love and all that stuff. The hottest part is the buildup, is the anticipation, the tease, the longing, the waiting for it to happen. The, oh, my God, are we gonna have sex tonight? You know, the few dates. If you blow your load before you've even gone on a date with someone, literally. Literally blow your load. I mean, if you're sending pictures and you're sexting and before you've even ever had talked to this person, barely in person, except for maybe you pass in the hallway in school, you're totally taking away the entire part of romance that is the most fun. The getting to know someone, the waiting, the anticipation. That's why I always say, and I'm no prude, okay? I've had sex on the first date before. I've done it. I'm. You know, I don't. I try not to. I do not do it as often, but you might do it sometimes. But the point is, it's. It. There's no point to rush sex. There's no point to rush sharing your photos because it's just. It's. It's part of the getting to know each other process. So I would say just not speed it up and to slow it down and to be the one person that says, you know what? I'm not sharing my photos with you. I'm not even having sex with you on a first date or a second date or a third date.

And it goes back to, like, what's expected. It's not expected.

Right?

It's not. And you don't have to do it. And it goes with the sending the photos as well, like you said. Yeah. Now, I'm sure there's a lot of guys that are listening that hate this conversation.

They're like, they're to ban me or something. They're going to delete my packet. But, But. But I'm telling you guys, I'm doing you a favor because you're just moving through these women. They're scratchers, and you're never gonna hit the jackpot until you have a woman who holds out and you see what that it's physically in your body. You feel it. Like the serotonin and the chemicals in your brain get excited, but then they just like blow it all and you move through them and you got six naked photos in one day. And the whole thing.

There's just something really sad about a girl without self esteem who doesn't get it. And she's worth so much than she knows she is. And she's attractive and she's smart, but she doesn't know because she's been beaten down by her parents or by abusive old boyfriends and they feel like, well, that's what I want to. I'm a people pleaser and I want to make him happy and this is what he wants and.

Right. And I want to be validated by a man telling me that I'm high.

Even if it's just for that moment and then it's over. And then they get cast aside and it's just, it's really sad.

It is sad. And it's a quick fix for your insecurities, but it's not a long term fix. The long term fix for your insecurities is an inside job, as we said. And what that means is working on yourself, working on your self esteem, in fact, sexually speaking, relationship speaking and life skills speaking. Figuring out where your weaknesses are, why you're insecure. We all are. Whatever your self esteem challenges are, work on that stuff because then you'll be a better person, a better lover, a better friend overall. Wow, look at that. All this study just turned into a whole thing. Okay. Teacher accidentally shows porn in class. Okay, I'm telling you, I've heard this story like six times, but it happened again. Not from the same woman, but teachers somehow put up a PowerPoint and oops, there's their porn. Kansas City teacher allegedly showed porn to his high school biology class. But it was his two students who got in trouble. The teach turned on an overhead projector only to spotlight a pornographic image of a naked woman. Students immediately snap pictures with their phones and posted the pic on Facebook. An investigation is pending. Both the student that took the photo and the teacher had been suspended. People should just test this stuff out before teachers, like five minutes before class. Just make sure your PowerPoint's going well. Make sure it's all on there.

I mean, really, how did it get there? Did a kid set it up?

What happened was the teacher was about to do a presentation and oops, PowerPoint there. Puts up the projector.

But why is there porn there?

Who knows?

Was it his porn? Was it of him?

I don't. It doesn't say. But I'm sure it was on his computer.

Kids got in there during the lunchtime to play little pranks.

What happened was it was on the screen and kids all whipped out their phones and took pictures of it.

I get that. But like, how did the porn get there to begin with?

He's probably as porn as a computer.

Maybe he's a bit of a weirdo and he wanted like there's some like hot 18 year old student that he wanted to see her reaction. It's like flashing.

He didn't want to get fired. I don't think so. I mean, really, Really.

I don't know this man. I know that there's teachers out there that make kids eat cookies with fluids on them.

Oh, God. Yeah. Teachers have done so many disturbing things lately. Sleep with their students. Can you just be teachers? I understand you don't make a lot of money, but you have to be like perverts as well. And I do think that teachers should be making way more money than everyone else because they are, you know, sculpting young minds. Everyone else not. Well, people on radio should be making more money as well, but that's a whole other story. Speaking of that, I have a few words here from my sponsors. So thanks everyone for listening to the show and for supporting me and my sponsors, which I am going to get to in a. Hold on, Anderson. Just mark this that I can't find them right now. Okay, there we go. Ready? Sorry. Mark this part. Okay. Thanks for listening to the show. I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve. I want to give you the best show possible. So I appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. Okay. When you're just drawn to someone and you're not exactly sure why, it's because of pheromones. A pheromone is a chemical animals produced that attract other animals. Crazy Girl makes pheromone infused products that make you feel and look great. Some of my favorites are their wannabe dazzling body lotion and body mist. I swear to God, Anderson, I'm not kidding you. Every time I wear it, I get swamped by men and women wanting to know why I smell so good. Plus, Crazy Girl products makes. They make great gifts, great Mother's Day gifts, fun packaging, and they're super reasonably priced and they're just really fun products. They also do shaving Creams, oral sex gels, warming heart massagers, and dozens of products that are a great way to get closer with your partner. So if you want to look and feel your best and attract your best, you can't go wrong with crazy Girl Intimate products. Check out crazygirlproducts.com use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off your purchase. That's crazygirlproducts.com and here's my last sponsor before the end of the show. Let me tell you about Promescent. Did you know one in three men suffers from premature ejaculation? And a lot of men just want to last longer in bed because there's an arousal gap. I guarantee you your partner probably wants you to last a little bit longer. Women, they orgasm about 18 minutes. Men take four minutes. Whatever it is, you don't have to worry about this anymore because perescent is a quickly absorbing delay spray that allows you to have the sex you want. You don't have to think about baseball or your great aunt Margaret. Is that what you think about Anderson when you don't ejaculate? Baseball. That's all guys.

When I don't want to?

Yeah.

No, because my aunt Margaret's really hot.

Oh, really? Okay, so don't do that. You can focus on your partner's hot body, especially now that you have the time to make them orgasm. Also, promescent closes the arousal gap between men and women. You might want to get there faster than she'd like. So promescent helps you last twice as long. Thousands of urologists are recommending promescent. I'm recommending it. It's the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. Go to Promescent.com to find out more. That's promescent. P R O M E S E N T. It's not rising to the top. That's a challenge. It's staying there.

Amen.

So amen. Okay, let's get into some emails from the peeps. Thanks for emailing me. Feedbackaxwithemily.com as you know, I live for you hearing from you. It makes my day. Dear Emily, I want some more info about masturbating. I am masturbating daily. Are there any side effects? And if so, what are they? Thank you, Madhur. No. People, it is masturbation month. As you all know, May is all about improving your sex life. So I thought we should answer this one. Here's some good things. There are no bad side effects to masturbation unless you are a chronic masturbator Unless you are a sex addict and let's say you and how you define that is if you masturbate so much that you're in pain that you lose your job, you can't, you know, show up for your family, you can't have sex and you're doing things that are, that are, you know, you're consequences, consequences, consequences.

And you continue to go.

There's a consequence due. If there's consequences from your masturbation, there's a problem. Otherwise, here's some benefits. It prevents cancer. A study found that men who ejaculated more than five times a week were less third less likely to develop prostate cancer. It makes you harder. As you age, you naturally lose muscle tone even down there. Regular sex or masturbation works out your pelvic floor muscles to prevent erectile dysfunction and incontinence. And it keeps the angle of your dangle perky. The angle of your dangle Aim to arrive three to five times a week for rock solid results. Aim to perform also Kegel exercises like my iPhone app, Kegel camp.

Do you still have that?

I still have that.

You haven't talked about that in a while.

I know, I forget because my iPhone app Kegel camp, more men and women download it. Kegel exercises peace stopping muscles. This helps you last longer. It helps women have stronger orgasms. And doctors tell you to do them. It's those muscles when you stop and start the flow of urine. And it's five minutes a day. And it will help your whatever sex challenges you're having, it will help most of them. And you never remember to do them because they're so easy to do. You can do them at traffic light. So my app, Kegel Camp pop. You can set a reminder every day at 11:30 on my phone it says time for Kegel Camp. 5 minutes, 4 minutes. My voice walks you through the exercise and you can get up to level 20. So it's a little game and I have guys who've done it and they're like, oh my God, I'm shooting across the room like I was like 18 years old again. And it helps you stay longer. Masturbating an hour before date will also give you more control. It ups your immunity. Ejaculation increases levels of the hormone cortisol, which gets a bad rap havoc wreaking stress hormone. It actually helps regulate and maintain your immunity in small doses. It also boosts your mood. Masturbation makes you happy. I do that some days when I'm cranky. Like I should have Done lately. I masturbate. Makes you feel better. It really does. Like there's neurochemicals. Like this is a real chemical thing. I should have orgasm before I came in. I know. And orgasm is the biggest non drug blast of dopamine available. So get off all the drugs you're taking and just friggin masturbate.

This sounds really dirty and I'm not suggesting you do that, but have you ever thought about doing that actually on the one of your programs?

Masturbating on my program like a porn star.

It is a sex. Well, like if. I mean there's a lot, a lot of your show. And I can say your show because I'm still kind of new to it. You know, a lot of your show is about how to. But you never actually do.

But it's audio, so we should get some video in here.

Actually, no, you don't have to change.

The whole nature of the show. It'd be a little personal. Not that I'm not personal.

Right.

I'm telling you, I've had a lot of listeners who say. Who have requested sexy photos and stuff like that.

Not even that. Just keep it audio. But like explain what you're doing.

I think that would change the whole thing.

I feel creepy now that I even brought that up.

You just want me to do it.

I don't. I'm not suggesting that at all, Emily. Sister.

Sister Anderson. No, I don't think I would do. It's not my wheelhouse for my show.

All right? It's got a porn star up in here.

It would probably be a very good show. Speaking of which, I did get a Facebook message a lot. Like a lot of you lately are messaging me. But we've talked lately about doing that show with Joanna angel and Mike Catherwood with her. She's a porn star and she wants Will ejaculate on his face with a woman going down again. Yeah, Mike said he'd come on the show and do it. Mike Catherwood's the host of Loveline as well.

He's married now. I don't feel like he should be doing that.

He told me he would before.

I know he does that kind of shit all the time. Yeah, but then he'll like the day will come. I've seen him do this and be like, I've talked to my wife about it.

She'll be standing here with a woman going down in her. With his goggle with his. With his face mask on.

And he'll say, no, I think Drew would be better.

Drew's gonna be.

We should have Dr. Drew do it. It should be a medical thing.

Dr. Drew would not watch that. But anyway, so how to get on female ejaculate. Oh. Cause you're telling me to masturbate on the show. Not gonna happen. But I will. I will help you out. But that's. Thanks. Thanks, Anderson. There's a lot of people who are happy that you asked that. Hello, sexyman. I'm afraid to ask my girlfriend for blowjobs. I'd even like for us to try 69ing. How can I talk to her about this? You. Thank you. You rock.

Okay. Talking to your partner about sex is like developing an entirely new language with your partner. Many couples never develop this language until there's a problem. They don't know how to ask for what they want. They don't know how to talk about what feels good. They just go along doing their thing. So I think it's great that you're asking me this question, because you have to start somewhere. Like I said, the worst time to start is when there's a problem. So you just want to try some new things. This is no biggie. Open it up. When you're talking to her one day, not in the bedroom, maybe you're having lunch, maybe you're on a road trip, maybe you're having breakfast. And say, what do you like when having sex? What's your most memorable part of us having? What's your favorite sexual experience that we've had together? See what she says. What's the favorite? What's your. What's your number one favorite sex move? What's her favorite position? You know, like, start getting her to talk about it, and you could chime in.

How do you ease into that, though? Like, need a cold cocker. Like in the car when you're just driving in a Slurpee.

Talk about it after sex and say, God, that was really hot. Well, I've been thinking lately, like, what do you love about our sex life? Tell me, because I think it's all really hot. So you could do it after that. But you could also just be like. I mean, if you're in a relationship, you could be like, okay. Or you could be like, last night was so hot. And it got me thinking, top five top five times you've had sex.

Go with us.

Yeah, with us. Now with other people. Do not share your past history.

Mystery, ever.

History is a mystery.

More history, less history.

Exactly.

More mystery, less history. That's what Drew says all the time.

More mystery, less history. It's so true. Anytime you should. Well, don't get me off on my whole. Don't talk about any people you slept with. But. Because I will go off on that. But yeah, Top five times you've been together. And that's a great natural way to be. Like. Because, babe, I've been thinking, like, I would sort of please you more. I want to make sure you're having the best time that you could have. And I thought 69 would be hot because I could perform oral on you and you could perform oral on me. That's a great way to ease into the 69 conversation. You could also perform oral sex on her if you don't already, because she might want to reciprocate. And if she says, you know what, honey, I'm not really comfortable with that. I don't like giving oral sex. Performing blowjobs. Well, there you have your answer.

Yeah, it's time to move.

Time to move, Time to leave. Or time to say, Ask her why. A lot of women might tell you they don't like certain sexual acts because they had a bad experience once or twice or a guy shoved it in or. You know, a lot of young guys do this. We were talking about this the other night. That when guys are younger, like in their 20s, it seems that they just like, shove your head down there. They're like, give me a blowjob. But when you're older, men are more concerned about pleasing you, it seems, first. And then they shove your head down there for blowjob.

Why is that?

Because I think younger guys are not as experienced and they don't know that if they please a woman and they learn and they listen to my show and they learn how to please a woman that you will be having not only the best sex of your life, but everything that you've ever wanted sexually. But they are selfish and they think, oh, I've got an erection. There she is with her sexy mouth. She should put it on my penis. Because guys, I think when they're younger don't know that pleasing her. What comes around goes around. Why do you think it is? You were a young 20 something man shoving women's faces.

Never.

No.

Yeah, I'm a total.

You weren't that guy.

Because I got like a mom that I love and two little sisters. I'm a puss the other way. Like, I never actually asked for what I wanted or anything. Everything that I got fell on my lap. Thank God it did occasionally.

So they fell in your lap?

Yeah, yeah. Like literally. Literally. But I never ever was forceful. And I don'. In fact, it makes me sick.

I know it's not every guy, but. But you're absolutely right that a lot of guys do that. They do that. And I think it's just an inexperience. And I think a lot of women think, oh, gotta do what he asked me, and I wanna be that girl for him. So Girls don't do that.

It's like, as soon as you feel pressure on top of your head, ladies, that means you should use more teeth. The more pressure on top of your head you're getting, the more teeth you get.

Right? Exactly. Bite his dick off. But seriously, the head push is the worst move in the world. Yeah, don't do the head push, guys.

I do it to my wife. Don't get me wrong. I do it to my wife all the time to be funny. And she does not think it's funny, but I think it's hilarious.

But right now, it's funny if you're talking about it. And also, you can also just help her to relax. Maybe she's stressed out. Give her a massage, make her dinner, and then you can maybe bring it up then. So there's lots of different ways, but it's really like biting the bullet. Like, there's no easy way to, like, segue into the sex talk. But once you do, and once you develop that way of talking about sex with your partner, it's there, you've established it, and you keep building on it. And you'll have the sex life that you want and that you deserve, but you're never gonna have the sex life that you want, deserve if you don't talk about it and you don't go for it. Hi, Emily. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, and it seems like we are on totally different pages sexually. He's had more sexual partners than I have. He's had a threesome, done anal. He's used to being with partners who would participate in bdsm. I was honest and told him I never did anything like that. I think he was so afraid of overstepping my boundaries that we just don't have much sex, and when we do, he's not into it at all. I'm open to trying, like, light bdsm. I've encouraged him to tie me up and spanky me, but we don't ever do it on a regular basis because he thinks it's too much of a hassle. Sometimes I feel like an object that is being used for my partner's pleasure and that my pleasure isn't being considered. Maybe I just don't understand the dominant submissive relationship. I'm afraid he's restraining himself during sex and doesn't enjoy it. I'm worried we aren't sexually compatible. How can I make this work? I'm willing to try new things, but I have certain limits when it comes to being submissive. Please help. Our sex life needs a reboot and fast. Love your show, Andrea. Okay, Andrea, there's a few things going on here. This is what we talked about. More history, less mystery.

How does she know all those details?

He told her about it, and then she felt insecure about it. But then she said, he's starting to try it, and then he didn't really try it. So here's the first thing. Forget about you pleasing him. You said he's not pleasing you. And I want to know. Have you asked him? Have you told him, Andrea, that you. What? You need to get off. Do you know what you want in bed that you're not getting? Do you know how to have an orgasm? Do you masturbate? If so, I'd say start out with some mutual masturbation. That's really hot. He watches you, you watch him. He knows exactly what you like. That's a great thing to do. But I'm concerned that you're so concerned with pleasing him and he's not pleasing you.

So that's my first thing. So I think that, you know, I love that you're willing to try all this stuff, but he's not pleasing you. So I think you need to talk to him again. Like I said, the previous listener, you need to start a dialogue about sex because it sounds like you tried it and then he pulled away and all that stuff. But if you do. If you do want to start trying doing some, like, you know, submissive stuff, it's really easy to take it lightly and not get into, like, whips and chains and canes, but still be doing some, you know, dominant submissive stuff. But first of all, don't compare yourself or whatever. Tenth of all, don't compare yourself to his past partners or lovers. You should never, ever compare yourself to anybody, actually. Which is a life lesson, because just think about this way. Next time you're comparing yourself to someone, like, I wish I was like her. I wish I had his, you know, job. You'll never be as good at being that person as they are at being themselves, because they're a unique individual. We are all unique individuals. So why don't you work really hard at being the best you so don't compare it as best lovers. So when it comes to submission, start with something easy. He can tie you up. You think it's a hassle? Does he have like ropes and stuff? Buy some goddamn bondage tape. I don't know how many times I have to tell people. It's like $7.95. Go to goodvibes.com use coupon code Emily. I love bondage tape. It looks like electrical tape, but it's not. It's plastic and it sticks to itself. You could rip it with your hands or teeth, but it binds. So you can easily bind it. The bind your partner up. He can bind you up and just rip it off. He just leave it by the bed. It's lightweight plastic, it's reusable. He can easily blindfold you with it. It doesn't stick to your eyes, so it's not sticky. It just sticks to itself. But it can bind you pretty tight. So if he ties your arms behind your head, you're gonna be bound up, but he just unwinds it and it's done. And it's not messy and it's easy and it's so easy to use. Blindfolding is a great way to start with some easy ways to do some submissive stuff. Also try a candle. If you've never tried a massage candle, they're amazing. They burn cooler than most candles. It's just oil, it's warm. He drips it on you, it's hot. He gives you a massage. Maybe he blindfolds you and you don't know what sensations are coming next. I mean, there's little things you can do that are a little dominant, submissive, but not too hardcore. I do make a massage candle emilyandtoni.com that you might like. And also you could do a little research, start reading about it, or talk to people that you know that have tried some healthy bdsm. You can practice, you know, talk to him about it. Like, what do you like about it? Again, this all goes back to talking because there's a whole host of things going on here.

Yeah, Em, for this particular email, I feel like you're doing everything he should be doing. And I feel like he's like, it's over.

Relationships over.

Yeah, he's not doing, he's not helping her out. She's kind of like swimming. He knows about all this stuff. She wants to know more. And he's like, yeah, whatever, maybe he's not.

Yeah, that's true.

I picture like a 50 year old man, like a 25 year old girl, and he's been through it all.

Maybe that's it. That's why you gotta talk to him first, sweetie. Because you're not getting your needs met. And that's almost more important than him. Equally as important as him not getting his needs met. But let's spend more time getting your pleasure met, and then we'll talk more about bdsm. But I just gave you some good tips. Cause I'm like that now.

You're a solid.

I'm solid like that. Dear Emily, I've been listening to your latest shows, and I'm thinking about doing analysis. Imagine that there are some scary facts out there and kind of killing my desire, but what do you think? Thanks, Sydney. Okay, here's the thing. 30% of the population has tried anal at least once. So they say that percentage is on the rise among college students every year. And I think the thing about what you have to know about anal sex is that it is kind of scary if you've never done it. And you have to be with someone that you trust and you have to take it slow. A lot of people have really bad. We were talking about bad sexual experiences. A lot of people have, like, really bad anal sex first times because a guy's an idiot and shoves it in without lube or prepping you and making sure that you're ready. So you have to use lubricant. Like, you have to be well lubed and you have to be warmed up. He can massage you down there. He should start with a finger, a butt plug, something like that. But don't have him just stick it in. Plus, you have to relax. You have to breathe those sphincter muscles. And you just have to be, like, in the right mindset of, you know, this is going to happen. But first, you know, and not tense up, because we tense up when we're afraid. So just relax and breathe. Make sure he's using lube. You're with someone that you trust, because there's nothing wrong with trying it. And if it hurts, you know, if you're in pain, stop. It doesn't have to happen all in one night. Again, have him start with a finger and see if you like that. So I wouldn't rush into anal, but I'm glad that you're asking. And it's a great place to, you know, just to start out with just some fingers and light touching around there and see if you even like it before you rush into it. What? Anderson, What? Why are you laughing?

Because you're talking about how anal is Going. The percentage is going up every year. Right. And if it continues, I mean, we'll get to a point where, like, we're having nothing but anal.

I know.

And it occurred to me, like, how. How long before the human race would actually have to evolve so that we could actually get pregnant that way? And.

Oh, my God, we can't get. Right. I know. And I don't know why I just started that stat. I just, like, found it and put it there.

But human beings, what they would look like if they started getting pregnant anally.

Oh, my God. You can't. Well, you can't. You know, first of all, you should use a condom because people think, oh, I can't get pregnant. But what if that. What if he comes inside you and the semen drips into your vagina?

Yeah, that happened.

That totally happened. So use a condom. You can get pregnant.

Question. We used to get a lot. It's been years, but we used to get it on Loveline a lot. Like 10 years ago, about once a week, a girl. Can you get pregnant with anal about once a week? We get that call.

Right? I haven't heard that one lately.

We haven't had it in, like, 10 years. I guess that people finally learned that you can.

Did we say that you can? Is that what people said?

No, we say, no, you can't. Unless you. What? The cream pie that you're talking about. Yeah, it's. It's a. It's a long shot, though, right? It's a long shot.

It is a long shot, but you could still. Sebum drips everywhere. I mean, you can get pregnant, but you can't. But you should use condom. Is that what you would say during the.

Cause, you know what? They didn't mean, like, gonna drip out and drip into my vagina. Obviously, that's probably possible, but they actually thought that, like, inside your colon.

Sorry.

To get grabbed.

You will not get pregnant that way. Only if it drips in or if.

You have Crohn's disease.

Right, Right. Oh, really?

Yeah, because then it kind of.

Oh, right. It confuses it. Right. Don't do. Right. If you have Crohn's disease, you probably won't be wanting to have anal sex. And also shower before. Make sure you're comfortable, that you're emptied, your bowels, all that stuff. Okay, I think that's all we have time for today, Anderson.

That was a good one.

That was.

Sorry if I got a little dark. I'm sorry.

What about your afterdraves?

About everything. I just kind of. I get Dark Sometimes, Yeah.

I don't think you were too dark. I don't think you're dark. I mean, I think you're angry. The thing I like about you with the horse is that you don't like most people and you like me.

That's what I got. You're hard not to like. You're a barometer. I'd like to bring you places. And if someone doesn't like you, like, if someone in the room doesn't like you, I'm like, oh, there's an asshole over there. That person sucks.

That's good. I will be your litmus test barometer to know that. Right? Because I'm pretty nice to everyone except for my landlord hates me. But besides that, I'm all good. So, yeah, everyone, I just appreciate you listening and check out my survey and follow me and all these forms of social media and just keep listening because I'm doing two shows a week and I love you all. So thanks for everyone for listening. Thank you, Anderson.

Thank you, Em.

Thanks, everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

So, you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles? Okay, so get this. I always light candles when I'm enjoying a glass of wine with friends and I. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emily and Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aromatherapy massage oils that when warmed like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use it during foreplay. And you know me, I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa, and fougere. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today@emilyandtoni.com and you're welcome. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles, and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive of magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualia life.com sex with Emily for 50 off and here's a bonus use the code code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q-U a L I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.