Make Sex Fun (Again)

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This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home. With agents who close twice as many deals, when you find the one, You've got a real shot at getting it. Get started at redfin.com. Own the dream. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show is all about you because I love getting your emails that you send to feedback@sexwithemily.com and you have so many questions lately and I just wanna answer them all so we can all have the best sex life of our lives. We're gonna be talking about how to have better sex, dating dilemmas, fulfilling your sexual fantasies, What to do if you or your partner can't orgasm. That and everything else on this episode of Sex with Emily. But first, I want to thank everyone for listening to the show because I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve, which is why I invented the most amazing thing on earth. I mean, I know I invented it, so I don't want to, you know, pat myself on the back, but massage candles, they're amazing, and who doesn't need to spice things up in the bedroom? A massage candle is the perfect thing because, okay, it's a candle, beautiful candle, It's like a regular candle and it sets the atmosphere, it's aromatherapy, and of course, amazing sex will follow because why? Well, let me tell you about a massage candle. It looks like a regular candle like I said, but it turns into the most warm luxurious massage oil. If you choose, after you blow it out, you can pour it on your partner and give them a delicious luxurious massage. That gets you in the mood, it relaxes you, especially with the holidays coming up, everyone's all stressed out. I have to say, you've been warned that these candles actually do lead to great sex because the combination of the oil and the scents just will blow your mind and your partner's. Here is from a listener who said to me, "Dear Emily, my girlfriend was skeptical at first but agreed to try the warm oil on me first and gave me a back rub. Then I reciprocated and we had amazing sex. She could not stop talking about how good the candle smells and how great the massage oil feels." I'm convinced the scent and the candle helped us through some of the barriers to sex that we face lately. So if you support me and you support the show and you want to support my candles, which are amazing, go to emilyandtony.com, use code EMILY for 20% off. That's emilyandtony.com, use code EMILY. Oh, and it's the holidays. I think we're even having bigger discounts now. So check it all out on the website. Thanks everyone for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they called them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? 'Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, it feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts, sign up for our mailing list, and you know, it's the holidays, so okay, the holidays are around the corner and I know you're thinking, what do I get my partner? What do I do? And I've got some of the best tips on my site, in my newsletters, which you should totally sign up for on my website, that is going to tell you exactly what he or she wants. I know they might not have told you this, but everyone wants a little sexy, spicy something. And I've picked out the latest and greatest toys and products that will make your partner very happy. So check all that out. And in upcoming shows, we'll be talking about that and everything else. So thanks for joining me. And I'm here with Menace.

Hello.

Which is so wonderful to see you.

Good to see you too. You're so whispery today. I am whispery?

Yeah. Like usually I'm—

Where's your energy at?

What's going on?

Are you working too much?

What do you think?

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, I'm whispery, but whispery is good.

You're like really low today.

Like you usually am really high like this?

Yeah, yeah. Come on, pick it up. I'm in your presence.

I know, I'm so happy that you're here. I barely got to even say hello to you, which we don't really talk offline anyway.

No, because I want to save it for the show, all my questions and everything.

I know, do you have a lot of questions for me?

I do have a lot of questions. One, how's your brother?

My brother's really good.

He's good?

Yeah, my brother is in a really good place right now.

That's good.

Yeah, he's traveling all over. He's really never home, never working, and having a really good life.

When is he gonna take us with him?

I know, no shit, really. I'm like, I wanna be your girlfriend. No, he's having a great time, and he's, you know, oh, so I didn't go home for Thanksgiving this year. This is like the first year in like a long time because I just really needed a vacation, and family, though I love my family, they're not really, It's not a vacation because I'm running back and forth. I love my nieces and I thought I'm going to go home later on this month when it's just more chill and I wanted just a little break over Thanksgiving. So maybe I sound so chill and whispery because I'm actually relaxed.

Oh, relaxed.

Well, not really, but you know. No, I am. I am relaxed actually. Things are going well. And my brother's great and he loves you. So he's going to come out and visit soon.

I love hanging out with him.

I know. He's the best ever. You missed him the last time he was here. He was obsessed about you.

I haven't seen you in a long time.

I know.

It feels like. It feels like it.

And what the hell has been going on in your life?

I have a really cool story, by the way.

Oh, are you saying that you want to tell that first?

I just want to make sure I remember to tell you after. But how's your life been going?

You know, my life has been really good. I've been dating a bunch. Yeah, and I've been deciding that like I— okay, so since I moved to LA, I've mostly been dating people that I get fixed up with, because you know I've been working all the time and I don't get out as much. And you know, I tried a little Tinder here and there, but that just wasn't my bag. As far as— not saying it never will be again, but I've just been out there, like meeting people and going out more. It's been fun. No one that's like super exciting to me right now that I think is gonna be it, but I'm having a lot more fun.

I thought you were like looking for a boyfriend last time I was talking to you.

It wasn't that I was looking for a boyfriend, which I know shocked you and you almost fell off your chair. No, I mean, yeah, I think I'm at the point now where Menace has known me for many, many years that I've always kind of been open to like dating and then I date guys that I'm half into and not that into. You know, I like 'em, but you know, eh. But now I'm like thinking, you know, yeah, it would be nice to find someone.

You want to be all in?

I think it's better to be either all in or out rather than one foot in and one foot out.

Yeah, which you've always been.

Always. I'm so tired of my pattern. So, yeah, so I feel like, and I'm being just, you know, it's funny, 'cause some guy was asking me, he's like, has the show, been doing this show for so long made you kind of jaded? I was like, well, I was always jaded before. And that's why I started the show, because I wanted to find out what is the secret to good relationships and good sex. And I feel like I've learned so much that I actually am inspired. Because I now have all the tools that I teach everyone. I mean, I do practice what I preach. I've learned to communicate what I want in a relationship sexually, you know? So everything is like so much better now because I've been doing the show for almost 10 years. Yeah, we need a 10-year anniversary show. P.S., 2015, um, just saying. But, um, but yeah, things are, things are good. And how are you? Tell me your story. I need to know everything.

Uh, everything's going well. Um, I've been doing radio in Los Angeles for about 7 months now, and we're doing really well.

The Woody Show.

The Woody Show, yeah. And oh, let's see, so a lot of people who listen to the podcast listen to the show also.

Okay, I love that.

To The Woody Show here on Alt 98.7 in Los Angeles every morning. But it was so funny, I was at an event for our show and for The Woody Show, and some people came up to me and they're like, are you the same menace that's on Sex with Emily? I said, yeah. They go, we just put two and two together right now. They've been listening to the podcast for years, right? And listening to the morning show and not realizing that I was the same person.

Dude, how many menaces are there? There's none on Twitter. You're menace on Instagram. There's another freaking menace. Menace.

I don't know, but you know, there's always casual listeners, right? But, uh, they came out to an event and they're like, we just put it together.

Did they say they love you?

Yeah, they said, well, they love the show.

That's so great.

I love listening. Um, I thought it was really cool.

That's really funny. Well, yeah, there definitely is a crossover. And it's so funny because I feel like even though I haven't seen you much lately, that I, I'm spending a lot of quality time with you because I drive past your billboard every 5 minutes in LA. Menace has a billboard for his show on every street corner. I'm like, there's Menace, there's Menace. So it's kind of like—

It is super random, isn't it?

Yeah, there's one right above my house. Like, I have, like, literally I walk out, I go for a run in the morning, I'm like, there's Menace. I wonder how he's doing. I love him.

I'm so proud of you.

Yeah, it's really cool.

Yeah, it's really cool. Like, I'll be like, you know, of course I'm always at Disneyland. And so we're leaving, leaving Disneyland and then there's like a billboard right there and it's crazy and like all like the workers and stuff there like know me and like listeners and we don't really, the show, the other show that I'm on, we're not really attractive people, we say that on the radio all the time so we don't actually have photos of ourselves on these billboards that are like cartoon characters and it's so crazy that the people.

People recognize you. It kinda looks like you with the glasses.

It does but you're not gonna be able to tell.

It's not you, you, right.

Yeah, yeah. You're not gonna be able to put two and two together. But thank you for all the people that, you know, listen to the show.

I love it. You should have me on the Woody Show.

We should.

I'm serious. Every other morning shows have me on to give relationship tips and all that stuff.

I know, it's just weird.

I hate when I ask you for— I'm just saying, it'd be fun.

No, but I do, I do give you shout outs all the time because when we talk about like sex toys and stuff like that—

I learned this from Emily.

Yeah, it was so funny. I, I just talked about you like probably a week and a half ago. Okay, we're talking about, uh, sex toys And for some— oh, so, so the guy that I do the show with, he used to do a show in Missouri, right? And they do these bar nights and they would give away, you know, tickets to concerts and stuff like that. And so there will be all the people at the bar and then he'll be up on stage and he goes, all right, I'll give tickets to, you know, this band if someone here has a sex toy on them, right? And he said that one time that girl goes, okay, hold on, hold on. She ran to her car and she grabbed a butt plug.

No way.

And brought it there to the stage and got the tickets.

Did he touch it or he just looked at it?

He just looked at it. But it's funny 'cause so then, you know, he's like, oh yeah, we should do that here, but we need to get some sex toys. I was like, oh, I know Sex Toy Emily, she'll hook me up with a ton of toys.

Sex Toy Emily, I've been called Santa. What am I called now? Sex Toy Santa.

Yeah, so I was like, oh, she got like a warehouse, she probably wants to unload a bunch of them.

Exactly, I do.

Yeah, so I was talking about that on there.

Maybe we can give it away to kids for the holidays or something. Just kidding. You know those toy drives? It's a total joke. We should do a sex toy drive. That's a great idea. I know, I've got— and now I'm getting more and more and more in the office, like every day. It's like I have to move out of my office, it's so big, which I actually think I am moving out of my office. But it's funny you should say that, because if you asked me if I had a sex toy on me right now, I do, and it's actually in plain sight.

Are you wearing it?

Yes.

Or is it the underwear?

No.

The remote underwear?

You can see it right now.

Oh, that thing?

This is a vibrator. So this is Vesper. It's by Crave.

No way!

Dude, check this out. It's gold, 14-karat gold.

What?

It's a vibrator and it's by Crave and they gave it to me at ILS. Dude, it's the best thing ever. Oh, I gotta take a picture of this. You just thought I was wearing a cool necklace. And listen, you can't even hear it. Listen how discreet it is. It's really powerful.

What?

Yeah, and so if you guys like, I mean, it's a great gift too. I wear it every day 'cause I just think it's cool. So it's funny that you said that. And I'm like—

I thought that was a pen.

No. And I'm like, oh, what if I hook up tonight with something? We should take a picture. Let's take a picture after the show of Madison and I. And then you guys can see what—

No, I don't like photos.

No, but dude, it's called— And so anyway, you can get it at goodvibes.com. Use code Emily. But the point is, yeah, this guy made it, Crave. They all make these really cool wearables. I got these little like—

I gotta take a photo of that. Keep on talking. Vesper.

It's called the Vesper. I know. I was like the first one he gave it to me at a show. Because he knew I'd wear it every day. Okay, wait, he's taking a picture during the show now. Wait, just of my chest? I feel like I should, um, show my breasts or something. Okay.

What?

Dude, isn't it awesome? So if I was there, I wouldn't even have to run to my goddamn car. I'd be like, I've got one on my neck.

Got one right here.

I'm just having to use it right now.

Incredible.

Thank you, honey. I can get you one for your, your, your love.

I'm sorry, I know this is a very, uh, It's just an audio, not visual podcast, but you'll have links or let's see if I can post it.

Yeah, totally, we'll have links and pictures of this and all that. Did you get your partner and your lovely girlfriend anything for the holidays? Have you thought about that yet?

No, we're actually, we're gonna go on a trip, so we're going on an amazing trip, so I'm not gonna get her anything.

You think you're gonna tell me this, but you're going somewhere great, right?

I'm gonna go back to San Francisco. I probably am gonna go to Disneyland before I leave.

Jesus Christ.

I'm always there.

Every time I go on your blog, I'm Instagramming.

It's so incredible though. So you know I've been talking about on the show for years, Um, there's these private clubs inside Disneyland. You have to, you know, 5-star restaurants, all this stuff. Anyways, one of the listeners, um, of that show that I do is a, uh, is a member. So every time we go, they're like, oh, just come on in. It's like insane.

You already had an in though.

I did, but you would have to like— I go ahead, I'd have to plan 3 months ahead. But now they like just say, hey, come hang out with us like day of, which is insane. It was voted like top 10 places you'll never go in your life. Like, that's how hard it is.

You should go kind of thing, or they'll never go because you won't get in.

Yeah, it's like there with like Area 51, right? And like, to get into these spots—

that's cool.

So it's really cool. But, um, where was I going with that? Oh, anyway, so yeah, we're probably gonna go to Disneyland, but then I'm gonna go back to San Francisco for about a week. I got a really long vacation. See some family.

You bringing the girl with the— to see the family?

Um, yeah, she'll see— she's seen like a bunch of my family before. And then, uh, Christmas Day we're gonna fly to Hawaii, and then we're gonna go to Vegas.

Oh my God, I love it. After Hawaii, you invite for New Year's?

For New Year's, yeah, of course.

We're in Hawaii.

Um, we are gonna go—

you don't want to say because you think people stalk you?

No. Oh, I, I don't know. It's like, it's not on the Waikiki side.

Uh, okay. Yeah, you have an awesome time. Have you been there?

Oahu. But I'm trying to think of like what area of Oahu is I don't know. I know it takes a while to get to where I wanna go.

It does, but it'll be amazing. That's great, and romantic. I'm glad you guys are still going strong.

Yeah.

I'm planning on going to Mexico or something like that. I don't know yet.

Nice.

Yeah, I haven't planned it yet, but you know me, last minute. 'Cause I need to get away again. I was gonna say, there's one thing that—

Wait, weren't you just in Mexico recently?

Oh, I was there for 2 days with Dr. Drew and his wife.

That's amazing, how was that?

It was really fun, because last minute, Drew, Dr. Drew Pinsky, I host Loveline on Thursday nights with him, People don't know about Loveline. And we— Drew was saying that he had a party there, 'cause you know the whole island Cabo got blown out in this hurricane last month. So his friend was having like a 60th birthday and it got canceled and he's like, you know, we're still going 'cause he took off his HLN show, he had Loveline. He's like, you should come and the tickets are so cheap 'cause it was like the Thursday before and I went and my friend Charlotte came in, you know Charlotte from San Francisco, and we had a blast.

It was a great weekend.

It was really fun. So I was there for 2 days and it was a vacation but then I came back and Monday was hell so then I feel like I kinda got wiped out. But no, it was super fun and I love hanging out with Drew. And his wife. They're friggin' awesome.

Do you guys turn up or what?

Turn up what?

Did you and your friend turn up?

Turn up, what does that mean? Is that a sexual thing?

Yeah.

Did we like have sex with them? No.

No, I'm not, I'm looking through and everyone.

Oh, do we like meet dudes? No, it wasn't like that at all. We like, what does she want?

I'm making fun of you.

I know, I love it.

No, I'm just saying turn up like you and your friend, did you guys like party?

Go crazy, party. We did, we did. We went to town, we were drinking. I mean, we had lots of margaritas.

Nice.

I was actually— okay, I shouldn't say this because I have an ex-boyfriend who said, "Don't tell me what you were gonna do, just do it." And this might bother you, but we were buying really nice tequila when we were leaving Mexico because they were buying some. I'm like, "It's Manus's birthday," which was like a month ago now. And I said, "I want to get him some really nice tequila." And then I got really overwhelmed by all the tequila and I didn't know what you liked and then I didn't get you anything. Don't worry about it. So I'm still gonna owe you some tequila.

I'm not really drinking a lot. Really?

Uh, how come?

Rarely, because it's— I don't know, maybe because I'm older now. Wow, this is like—

you're done.

This is not because I'm more mature, just like it takes too much.

No, it's true. To recover.

To recover.

I agree. I've never been a big drinker.

I hate it. And then I gotta do, you know, I gotta get up super early.

Yeah. Okay, well, good. Well, I'm glad I didn't get you a tequila then. All right, I'm just gonna get you some food.

Well, it's the thought. It's the thought that counts.

Thank you. Um, one more thing I've talked about though, coming up— God, I've been telling this for months, but I can't believe it's only like a month and a half away— is that I am the host of the Sexual Health Expo, and it is the very first of its kind, and it's in Los Angeles. It's in West Hollywood, and it is— if you go to sexualhealthexpo.com, you can check it out, and it's like the leading sex— it's for 2 days. Top sex educators from around the world are teaching workshops for everyone on every different topic you could think of— men, women, couples. There's an award show at night, one night. There's a super fun party. I'm giving the keynote. I gotta write that. Then, there'll be a bunch of stuff. What else? Oh, there's gonna be a really fun party, It's in Hollywood, and if you want to go, you can email me feedback@sexwithemily.com and tell me why you want to go, and I might just give you a ticket, and it's worth 2 tickets. And so also, it's January 7th to 18th in Los Angeles. We can meet. We can hang out. It'll be a good time. So you should go to that. And then also, as always, follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, Sex with Emily, and you're menace.

Just menace.

Just menace. That's all. That's it. So that's what's happening for me, and then, oh yeah, and then January coming up is my huge month of just sexual, I might go to AVN, the porn awards again.

Oh nice.

And yeah, there's a lot going on. But I'm excited just to get through. But I like that, the thing about LA is it's funny because before I lived there everyone was like, everything shuts down over business LA over the holidays. But it really does, like after things get, things are just kind of mellowing out a little bit.

Yeah, no one's doing anything.

I know, I love that. But you have to do your, or you have 2 weeks off?

Yeah, but that's like later.

Okay. Another thing I've announced is that on Thursday nights, Madness is in Therapy, you should make a special appearance from 8:30 to 9:30 Pacific Standard Time. You can watch and listen to the show live at sexwithemily.com and even call in when the phones work because we never know if they are, but it's through Ustream in the Love Line studio. We've been talking Ustream for years, but actually now you can watch it, which is a good time, and you should come in one night.

I would love to do that. Do that.

It's so awesome. It's fun. I know you're sleeping by then.

One night experience.

I totally get that, that you are sleeping by then. What else? Anything else I need to know? I miss you. I love you.

Yeah, no, what's going on with the people? What's going on?

Let's read some sex in the news.

All right.

Okay. An Arizona woman has up to 90 orgasms every hour because of a rare sexual disorder. So this woman, Cara, has— can have 90 orgasms in an hour. That might sound great to a lot of people, but the 30-year-old Phoenix area resident says, it's not something I wish on anybody. It makes doing the most basic things— going to work, going out shopping— extremely difficult to achieve, she says. To outsiders, it sounds wonderful, but to me, it's unfilling and shameful. I do anything to find cure. And they actually can't find a cure. They're calling it the persistent sexual arousal syndrome or persistent general arousal disorder. And she says it's ruining her life. It messes with your head. Your body's running on a high of up and down, which is true when you have an orgasm and then you're down. And she says it's so bad. She's like, some days I just want to shut the curtains and never get up. And she said it's really hard is that like while you're with your kids at the school, she says, it feels like I'm molesting these kids because I'm around them and having an orgasm. And she's like, I feel like a pervert. Like, I can imagine the extreme of anything. Like, we're like, we'd all love to win the lottery tomorrow, do all the— have an orgasm. But I can understand this could be true.

Yeah, I actually know about this story, and, and it's funny because you think, oh yeah, that would be amazing, you know.

But no, I get that it wouldn't.

A lot of, you know, super creepers would like think, oh, I want to live my life this way. But it actually— I see now, I don't know like how it is for women because I'm not a woman. Immediately after sex, you know, a guy falls asleep— no, doesn't fall asleep, but after he orgasms, it's actually like Imagine that pain, like how, if the guys that are listening, imagine that pain that you have immediately after your orgasm and you just wanna be away from the woman as quickly as possible. Because no, no, there's actual physical pain. No, I understand.

Pain after the orgasm? Is it pain?

Yeah, because you can't, that's why guys can't keep on going.

Well, there's the refractory period where you get turned on again in like 20 minutes to an hour.

Yeah, yeah, no, but I'm talking about immediately.

Immediately after it's pain, like get your penis out of the vagina.

Yeah, because it's painful. Right. Now that's what this, uh, these people, these orgasm problems, that's what they're feeling. They're feeling that pain. They're not feeling like the, the orgasm, the like good part. They're feeling like that little tiny in-between part where there's actual pain.

Exactly. No, no, it's true.

If you think it's going to be awesome, just imagine that.

I'm joking. This is not awesome.

But I'm just— no, I'm thinking about the people that are thinking like, oh, this would be great. Like, that's what they're actually feeling. So it's not fun.

No, it's not fun at all. And she says, you know, She worked as a waitress, but she had to stop, and she said finding work seems next to impossible. She says you can't say to your future boss, I may not be able to come in today because I'm suffering from orgasms. So that's a bad excuse, but it is a real disease, and I wish I had one.

Well, we've been talking about—

We've talked about this before.

Stories in the news for years, like this happens to people.

Yeah, I know, I know. Usually, yeah, I mean—

There's like crazy stories of where, you know, outside of this, where like a guy falls from a tree, and then he becomes a— sex addict, you know?

Exactly.

Bumped his head.

And I'm wondering what her history is. Like, I wonder if she couldn't have orgasms before, if she's highly sexual. I have no idea. We don't get that background, but maybe we will soon. Okay, another thing. Your favorite topics, um, technology and money. I don't know if money is your favorite topic, but for sure technology. Take preference over making love. A study questioned 4,300 British, American, Chinese, and Brazilian women. They said they'd rather go 3 months without sex than technology. 80% also said they prefer money over sex and power. The modern-day woman prefers sleep and technology to sex, and new global studies revealed that as the world gets more complex, females are turning to simpler life choices that make their life easier. So, um, it says that 68% of British women revealed they would prefer a good night's sleep to sex compared to—

doesn't it seem like—

well, you know, we always hear these stories.

You put like just women in that category. I think men also would be in that category.

Well, there was a study a few weeks ago we talked about that a man, uh, men would prefer the new iPhone than sex.

Yeah, probably. But this is so messed up.

This is so messed up. Exactly. Well, it does. Siri sometimes can talk back. But no, I guess I get it. I mean, the thing is, it's just kind of a bummer, like these kind of studies. And I almost think they're doing them to get headlines, which they actually are now because I'm reading it on my show. But it says, you know, it didn't— it wasn't any better in a battle against money either. When asked if they would prefer more money, sex, or power, 80% prefer money. Money secures the family's future, which women prioritize over their own needs. And I just think this speaks to, you know, that after you're— and these probably women are probably all in relationships. I think when you're not in a relationship, it's like the grass is always greener. You want more sex, you want to have sex. Then you're in a relationship and you settle into it and you're like, oh, sex is okay, I can live without sex. You know, if we had more money, it'd be nice to, you know, have a vacation.

I'm trying to promote the thing— I'm trying to promote that, uh, men are not always horny every single day. They just want to have sex. I had the conversation earlier today because, uh, a friend of mine He had a— he had this woman get upset with him because he was just tired. He just wanted to go home. And it was at the point where she was like saying, hey, I want to go home with you. And he's like, you know what, I'm tired, I'm just gonna— I'm just gonna leave. And he goes home. And she got extremely upset because he wouldn't have sex with her because he'd rather go home, right?

Read or something, right?

And then, uh, we ended talking about this in a public forum, the radio, and she got so upset, blew him up on an email about it, you know? And it's just like, hey, you know, sometimes guys are not always horny. Believe it or not, I know society thinks—

no, it's a total myth that men want sex more than women. It's true. And in fact, I've heard from more women that they're with their— not more, but equal amount of women have said they're in relationships with guys who don't want sex as much as they do. And it's a perfect example of mismatched libidos, that your partner wants more sex than you do. And it happens with men and women across the board. And men always seem as if everything they think about is sex, which is true. And just because you might be thinking about sex a lot doesn't mean you actually want to have sex. You might be sexualizing things, but it's not like you want to go home and bone every night. Like, we all get tired and whatever. But I could see this woman feeling rejected because she's like, how, how could you not want sex with me? I know, I feel so rejected, you know. And it's funny because I was talking to a guy friend recently and he's like, God, I really— he was— he's kind he kind of sleeps with a lot of women all the time, and he was feeling like he needed a break, like how I did my manatorium. He was feeling— years ago I did this manatorium, which is like a moratorium on men, and I for like 6 months did not date or sleep with anybody, which was a good time. And I was actually considering doing that again, but I decided that now I just— I'm not doing it. But the point is, he did it for a while, and he was saying that— he was saying, well, I said, well, and now he's back to dating. But I'm like, well, why can't you just not have sex? He's like, but they always come back to my house and then we have sex. I'm like, well, why don't you just not invite him back to your house? He's She's like, okay, well, what happens on the date if things are heating up? Like, can't you just say I'm trying something new and I'd like to hold out and not have sex? He's like, okay, and then I won't sound like I'm gay. But I don't know, like, do you think that that—

She accused him of being gay.

Exactly, 'cause women can't imagine. It's unfathomable that you don't, 'cause women are so tied to their sexuality and that affirmation that we get from men. And that if a man actually doesn't want sex, you're like, what, what, what?

I know, well, you look at every movie and TV show, it's just the horny guy trying to go after the girl.

I know.

And it's better to play that— men, it's better to play that game like you're not interested anyways, because then, you know, then women don't feel like they have you in the palm of their hand.

Okay, let's go back to this, okay? Because I know you've been saying this for a long time, so Menace and I—

it works.

Okay, but okay, so Menace's whole thing is act like you're not into her, um, don't, you know, maybe reject her for sex, don't compliment her and tell her she's beautiful, which I always say women want affirmation if you're in a relationship. Like, it feels good to be you're really sexy, I'm into you. And men are like, no, no, she's just gonna think she wants you. Be the aloof guy. That's what you say, right? Act like you don't care. So my question for you is, you say it works, it works, it works, and we completely disagree on this because if a guy was acting aloof and he wasn't into me, I'd be like, next, because I need that.

But that's you. I'm not saying this is like every single woman out there.

So then it's a certain type of woman then that wants a challenge and she thinks she can change you.

Mm-hmm, definitely.

Okay, so that's a different type. So the woman that you're with now that you've been with for a while, did Do you still play that aloof game with her or was it only at the beginning to get her?

She wasn't, I could tell she wasn't that type where I had to play that game, but there's definitely women that you can read.

A genre of woman.

Yeah, that you could read.

What are the signs?

Signs is maybe the woman that takes a lot of selfies online.

Dude, that's a whole nother thing. What is the deal with women? This is why no one meets anyone anymore. They're at a bar or they're at a club and they're all like, okay, selfie, 5 minutes "Let's take another selfie." I can't stand it. I can't stand it either. I've taken like one selfie.

I put these jokes online like, "Oh, my picture of my burrito got more likes than your selfie." It's just like, I get it, you think you're hot, but you're not really that hot. I'm sorry. If you were a model, you wouldn't be working the checkout counter or something like that.

All the models are doing something, but I get that's their career. But what you're saying is, with your girlfriend then, you don't do any of this stuff? Because you're in it. You're not like playing games and not—

no, no, no.

Yeah, we don't play any games, but I'm just saying like a lot of men though, I've had this conversation with a lot of my guy friends and they agree with you.

And I'm like, oh, and it sucks because you don't want to play the game, but you're like, damn, like how am I gonna get this?

How long do you play the game for at the beginning with a woman? Like, have you ever like been like, I want to call her, I want to call her, but I'm not going to because I'm playing the game? Is it conscious?

Uh, yeah, definitely.

So give me an example, like, but not your girlfriend now, but like from a while ago. Obviously not your girlfriend.

A while ago? Well, you know, there's always been like, you know, there'll be like a work situation where everyone's like kissing this chick's ass, right? All the guys in the building are like, they want to bang her. They want to bang her because she's like super hot, right? And then, uh, then I would like say, I'll just like talk shit to her, you know? And like, she'd be like, wait a minute, why, why is this guy talking shit to me? Everyone over here like sucks my dick all day long, you know?

—or my clit, right? Yeah.

And then, and then, uh, then that gets their attention. They're like, why doesn't this guy like me and everyone else does? So she goes right for you? Yeah, it works every time.

But are there some women that you've done that with that were like, I'm not into you? Like, not into me, right? Well, because you were aloof and they didn't notice, and then they went—

yeah, yeah. No, no, definitely. I'm not saying that it—

like, it works for everyone, but there's a certain type of woman that you can just tell. Yeah, you can totally tell. Yeah, I got it. I guess I just feel like I have this argument with my guy friend too, just like you.

You should— you gotta— it's like You gotta work this angle on a woman that you feel like gets constant attention. Attention online, attention in work, attention out in the public.

So super desirable. Yeah. I guess I think it's nice.

Just talk crap to them and see what happens, like joking around.

Okay, but after you got her because you got her attention and then you slept with her, did you still continue to not be that into her? Or once you're with her, you put your guard down and you're into her?

I think it depends if you want to be with that person.

But usually you just want to conquest because that bitch was—

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just like you kind of make a decision on where you want to go after that. Okay. And then—

but I think it's more of an— I seriously, because all my guy friends in LA do this, what you're saying, and I don't know if I was just— San Francisco was another planet, but I feel like guys do that here. And it— and I— it does, it does make me a little— I'm like, is he playing a game? So my question for you is, when you were doing this with women, were there times you're like, I really— like, would you pace it out? Like, I won't do this for an hour.

Give me an example. You can't be thirsty thirsty.

So you're like, I'll text her back tomorrow, or I won't ask her out again for a week.

Yeah, or you just won't even communicate with them. You know, just go and do your own thing.

And then they follow up with you.

Yeah. It's so easy, it's ridiculous.

Okay, but it depends what kind of woman you want. I guess it's a woman who might be a little more—

I don't want to be with a woman that wants to play games like that.

But you know how to play the game.

I know how to play the game.

Okay, I'm just curious, it comes up all the time.

And then, what was the other thing that I was gonna tell you?

About a lot of important things.

A lot of important things is that guys, don't be afraid. We've already talked about this many times, but don't be afraid to talk crap to them if you like, if you like them. But not like, not like the— no, don't talk, don't talk down to them, but just like tease them, tease them and see what happens. I'm telling you, okay, it works.

It's crazy. Is the reason why you've always been teasing me all these years is because you actually want to sleep with me?

Because I'm sick of secretly in love with you.

This has been like a 10-year battle.

Yeah, and the end result is I hope we get married in Mexico on the beach. Oh, that's sweet.

See, I knew you'd come around. I friggin' knew it.

But then you would annoy the hell out of me and then I would leave you.

See, there's the neg, but you really want to date me. In like an hour. I get it. I'm not annoying. In fact, the guy that I'm with—

You talk too much, though.

Dude, that's what I do for a living, but now when we're alone, I would not talk. I would read a book on the beach.

Like you were talking before this, uh, before we started recording this, just going like, uh, with your assistant. I'm sorry, I forgot Madison.

She's new. Madison's awesome. She's not new, she's been with her 5 months.

I know, and I've met her like 4 times. I'm sorry, I don't remember anyone's name. I see people every single day in my building and I don't know their name. But I know it's terrible. Um, but the, uh, Madison.

Madison, what was I gonna tell her? You were saying that you just like Madison here. I would— before the show I was talking.

Oh yeah, you were talking to her. Sorry, I did. I've been up since like 3 AM doing the morning show. So I apologize. But the thing was, I can—

I was talking a lot.

You were talking a lot and it was exhausting.

Oh my God, I wasn't even talking.

I was getting tired listening to you talk.

It was so much work.

I can't imagine like going and eating and look, I love you to death and I'm telling you, there will be guys that will sit through a meal with you. But if you talk that much during a meal, I would just die.

It's give and take. I ask questions. I know. If they don't answer quick enough, I'll ask more.

But it goes like a mile a minute. I talk fast.

I'm trying to slow down. Okay, so, but when we come back, we've got a quick, I got a word from our sponsors, and then we're gonna be answering all your questions about sex that you sent, and relationships that you sent to feedback.

I'm sorry that I was like pausing and forgetting what I was saying.

Dude, it's okay. That's so bad. Whatever, that's boring, okay? Talking is more interesting. I know, right? Just kidding. Okay, so everyone, thank you for listening to the show and for supporting my sponsors, and I gotta tell you about Promescent, because 1 in 3 men suffers from premature ejaculation, and you might be thinking, I don't suffer I ejaculate after 5 minutes, 10 minutes, but you know what? The thing about it is it doesn't even mean traditional PE, which is like a minute or two. It's if you just want to last longer in bed. It can double the amount of time that you last in bed. You know, there is an orgasm gap between men and women, and women typically take longer to orgasm. So, what do you do? You use Promescent. It's a quickly absorbing delay spray that you apply to your penis and allows you to have the sex that you want, and you can now focus on your partner's hot body, and you don't have to worry about orgasming too quickly, because now you can make them orgasm. And it closes the arousal gap between men and women. Like I said, the arousal gap, the orgasm gap, whatever you want to call it, there is a gap in the time. You all know this if you've had sex, that women take a little bit longer sometimes. So, check it out. It is the only, and I mean only, FDA-approved treatment for premature ejaculation or just for lasting longer in bed. Go to promescent.com to find more. That's promescent, P-R-O-M-E-S-E-N-T,.com. Check it out. Also, with the holidays coming up, this is the best time for you to go to goodvibes.com. What you should do is go to sexwithemily.com, click on the Good Vibes banner, and I have a special store created there that you can see my favorite, favorite, favorite products, toys for men, women, couples, singles, whatever it is. The holidays, I know you're all like, "What do I get? What do I get my partner?" But you know what? Who doesn't want to put a little something sexy in their stocking stuffers or in their presents or whatever, something to spice up your sex life because all year long you run around, you're busy, and you're like, this is a great time to buy her something really, really nice. So, you can get, I am in love with the Vibratex Girls. It's a little clitoral vibrator for her. She can use it during sex, she can use it during masturbation, and it comes in the cutest little pink leather pouch so she could use that for her makeup and it's a great gift. It's called the Girls. Also, you can get the Dahlia. Which is D-A-H-L-I-A, which is extra G-spot stimulation. You can get the We-Vibe Plus, which is amazing. Menace, you'll appreciate this. It is a new couples vibrator that is all operated through technology. So you could be like somewhere— I could be using it, you could be controlling it like from your phone. The vibrator, that's a whole thing. Remote control technology, like you could be in China and control it.

We've talked about this like 5 years ago, and I said "You know, it would be amazing," and you talked down to me. I didn't.

So if you're in a long-distance relationship, these are great, and you can also get the most orgasmic vibrator of all time, the Magic Wand.

No, you didn't talk down to me, but it was just like— No, but you're not talking to me.

It was just so old-school. The BlueMotion, they're panties that you can control from wherever.

Yeah, it was like so far ahead of your time, it was like blowing your mind. Yeah, but it was amazing. But it's awesome that it's finally here.

It's here, there's a bunch of 'em. So that's a whole new thing, is like tech and vibes, so if you're into technology and vibes and sex, you should check it out. So again, go to my website, sexwithemily.com, click on the Good Vibes banner. And here's the best part: if you click on the banner and you go to my store and you use coupon code GVEMILY20, you get 20% off all items. That's GVEMILY20. Check it. People just can't mess up on the presents thing.

You got to get it. No, you got to get a good—

you do, you really do.

Okay, so, so what are you gonna ask for this year?

From who? I'm not sleeping with anyone.

Your brother. He doesn't give me anything.

He doesn't get you anything? My family doesn't do gifts. What? Which pisses me off because my brother could buy me a really nice Christmas gift. I know.

Can he buy me a gift?

Yeah, what do you want? He probably actually would buy you a gift over me a gift.

Oh no. What's your dream? My dream? Dream gift. Uh.

You probably have the iPhone 6, yes. I already have it.

Uh, no, I think I'm good.

Okay, I would ask him and he would send it to you. Yeah, no. Because he loves you, fine. Can I ask him for what I want and then tell him it's for you?

Yeah, I guess so. But it would be weird. What do I want? Oh, Menace wants a YSL purse. Right, exactly.

I don't want a YSL purse, I already have one. I would like a Chloe bag, but—

A Chloe bag? That's so 2 years ago.

Chloe is timeless. Okay, so your emails. Thank you, feedback@sexwithemily.com. How to make scheduled sex fun. Dear Emily, I love your podcast and reading your posts on Facebook. My partner and I are trying to get pregnant. This has led to a lot of supplement taking, planning, and limiting of sexual activity. It kind of takes the fun out of it. We have to limit sex/ejaculations to the good days. The way my cycle requires us to have sex before Aunt Flo is coming is completely gone at times. Needless to say, scheduled sex sometimes during my period is not much fun. It kind of embarrasses me. Additionally, we have crazy work schedules that don't always sync up so well. So there are times when we are almost too tired to even deal with it. "It's like sex is just another chore that sometimes gets pushed aside, like the dishes or dusting. Help! I would love to try to enjoy sex again. Sincerely, the baby-making robot." Okay, baby-making robot, it is true that when you are scheduling sex to get pregnant, it can feel like a chore, and your guy's like, "Really? Am I just like— you just want my baby batter?" which is a term I learned from Menace. Really? About what you could do to spice up this time. During this time, you won't be able, you know, think about this, when you're pregnant, you won't be able to have as much fun as you can have when you aren't pregnant. So this is the time to dress up, wear your sexy lingerie. And again, if you guys are all rolling your eyes, I don't even care if guys aren't into lingerie, but women wearing lingerie makes us feel a lot sexier. You could do role-playing, there's nothing wrong with like wearing a sexy nurse's uniform and having him come home and be like, whatever, just play. Have fun because you're gonna have a baby in your life very soon. I know you're gonna get pregnant and this is the time to kick your sex life into the knot, into a level stratosphere where you've never taken it because after you have the baby for at least 6 months afterwards, you won't be having that much amazing sex. So bring in some sex toys, experiment. This is the time to get creative. Don't focus on the baby, put the focus on the sex. So don't think about it like something you have to do and don't be nagging him. I'm sorry, I hate the word nagging, but don't be like, babe, we gotta have sex at 1:20 because that's when I'm ovulating today, so come home for lunch. It's like, think of it, you know, as something that you get to do. You know, it's about your perspective on everything. And try to keep the fertility talk out of the bedroom. I mean, you know that you're both doing it because you're trying to get pregnant, but just kind of just take it, just bring some fun to it. Like I said, you know, I've got these candles which are amazing. They smell amazing. They're aromatherapy, so they relax you. You can say, hey babe, I'm going to give you a massage right now. Like, if he's not, and then it takes everyone— who doesn't get a massage and your mind completely leaves every thought and then your mind becomes connected to your body and you can— the thing about this candle is that like the massage oil goes over your skin. I mean, I don't care what kind of candle. I mean, that's atmosphere. You can use regular massage oil. I'm just saying a massage is a way to get your thoughts quieted and to get yourself both primed for sex. And if you're ovulating one weekend, you can take the weekend off because another thing is couples get in such a rut when they're always having sex in the bedroom, like the same place, the same time, all the time. So go away, you know, go away for the weekend. And if you can't afford a vacation house, try house sitting for a friend. Just literally anything anything you do to get out of that, that mindset of like it has to be here and now will make this baby-making part a lot more fun.

Speaking of making babies, are you pregnant? No. Oh, uh, I was watching this news, this news segment, and this guy is like volunteering to have sex with all these women to help them get them pregnant, like the old school way. What do you mean, like actual sex, like without a condom? Yeah, without a condom. He's like some college guy.

Is he gonna get money from it or he just wants to impregnate women?

No, I think he's— I've heard about this. Yeah, I think he's getting money for it. I only saw like the promo for it.

He could just donate his eggs to a sperm bank. He could. Or his sperm to a sperm bank, not his eggs. He could, but then, um, but then he wouldn't get to have the in and out.

Yeah, I think that's what he's like.

Is it like on eBay or something? He's like, you can bid on him to have sex?

No, I don't know how he's like— he's doing it, but Yeah, he just did a news segment on it.

I did hear about this and it just sounds kind of creepy to me. Because then he's responsible for the child technically. One of these women could be like, oh yeah, it's cool, no strings attached, I totally want a baby, and then like in a few years she'll be coming after him for child support. Yeah. Unless he has them sign paperwork or something. But really, but whatever, anything to get on the news. Okay, next question, sexual timing question. Dear Emily, my girlfriend and I can never get our sexual timing correct. "It takes her a long time to orgasm. We use toys, we use tongues, we use hands. Problem is, I can't stay hard for the 30 to 45 minutes it takes for her to get there. I'm in my mid-40s, my libido isn't where it used to be. Once I get hard, then it's soft. It's nearly impossible to get hard again. I don't want this to be the reason for her to leave me." Phil. Help, Phil. Okay, Phil, here's help on your way. It's totally common for guys in their 40s, their penis starts to change. It's not— it doesn't stay as hard long. It does.

It gets hard. It doesn't. It's harder to get it hard, isn't it?

You know, and to stay hard. Yeah, it's true. It's more common than you think. It's the orgasm gap, and it's very unfair.

And that's why foreplay sucks when you're older, because a guy can't stay hard as long.

Why don't you just wait until it's your turn, make sure she has an orgasm, and then she can get you hard and give you a blowjob, and then you can have sex.

I guess if you want to, you want to do it that way. But how's a guy not going to get an erection?

I know when all that is happening. Well, it's tricky. So here's some things you could do. You could have sex first, ejaculate, and then work on her so she can have an orgasm. That's what I'm saying, right? So if you know that you can't get hard again, Phil, just have sex with her, and then afterwards you can go down on her. You could use toys, you could do whatever you need, or If you want, you could, you know, try to just try to get, you know, maybe if you take some time away from your thinking about the fact, like if you got hard at the beginning because you're turned on and then you please her and then she gives you blowjob, gets you hard again, and then maybe you'll be able to stay hard for sex. And again, like I talked about just now, you could also try Promescent because it's for a lot of guys your age who just, at any age, who just want to last a little bit longer in bed. And it's totally safe, it's FDA-approved, and you will, you won't go from the hard to the soft. From the hard to the soft. And it's— I'm telling you, it's funny because I've slept with men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, and it is true, just like with women's bodies changing and our sexual response cycle, that men in their 40s, their penises start to do things that they didn't used to do. And it is a bummer. Like, I've been with guys like, I'm sorry, I can't. And the thing is, women, we're not tripping out about it. We get it. And so, Phil, like, I don't want you to feel like it's going to ruin your relationship. And you see, he just said, I don't want this to be the reason for her to leave me. And Phil, the only way she's gonna leave you is if you act like it's like the elephant in the room, meaning the subject we're not gonna talk about. She's gonna think you don't care, but if you bring this into your conversation, like, babe, I love you, I've got this thing going on with my penis, like, you know, this is what I'm thinking, sex, Emily said we could try this or that, you know, you could also go to your doctor, you should always get checked out anyway, but I'm sure this is just how the penis is in the 40s. So, I would say talk to her about it, make this, she's not gonna leave you if you are communicative and open and talk about what the issue is, and she can help you. She can help you. Maybe you need a little oral sex to get your heart— I mean, have you ever been getting a blowjob and not gotten hard? No. Right? So what if you went hard and you lose it, you give her oral sex, and then for her to get you up again, she perks you up with a little blowjob?

Yeah, but I don't think his sex would last as long.

That's okay, because she already had an orgasm.

Oh yeah, whatever. Whatever, you know what I mean?

Sex is so— it can be so complicated, and I think that we all are painted this ideal way sex should be. Like, we come at the same time, and we're both aroused, and we both come home and want sex at the same time. But that's not real life. That's called the first 6 months of a relationship. That's called the first 6 months to 2 years of relationship. But that's not long-term sustainability. You're gonna eventually have challenges with your sex life, just like you'll have challenges with money or with children or with anything. Things are gonna come up. Sex doesn't stay perfect, and everyone's always surprised, but that's why I exist. Is to help you all connect. Of course. Right? I'm sure that— not that you— well, I'm not gonna ask you about your sex life. Forget it. I already know better now. Okay, so, "Dear Emily, I have a question for you. I am naturally shy and it makes it hard to meet new people, especially women. I used a dating site and finally met someone. We became a couple. She got pregnant and I was about to start a family, or so I thought. The long and short of my situation is that I was dumped the day after the baby shower and later on found out the baby wasn't mine." Damn, I was concerned about putting myself out there before this all happened, but now I'm more afraid than ever. I feel like I have no trust for anyone now, anyone new. What could I do to get myself back in the dating scene? Thanks, Adam.

Well, if he had— I know that the chick was crazy, but that's usually how it is online. But if he had some success with that, then why doesn't he just try? Because he's traumatized.

Traumatized? Ah, he is. No, this is trauma. You think she's pregnant, they have a baby shower, and then she leaves him and says it's someone else's baby. And he loves her. Is that what she said? He said, right? So, so here's the thing. A lot of people— Adam, what did you just say that I was going to refute? I was just— women are crazy. Men are crazy too. Yes, it's very much more— men are much more, um, covertly crazy, and women are more overtly crazy. So we're like, we wear our crazy on our sleeve, but men have got a lot of crazy going on too. I just want to— all right, preface all this. It's equal. But here's the thing, Adam, as hard as it may be, you do need to let go of the past and move forward. And I understand, like, you can still go through this, like, missing her, and you can still, you know, this is— and this actually is kind of trauma. Like, you think you're getting married, you think it's your baby, and the whole thing is taken out from under you, and you know, they're in love. And so I just think you got to ease back into it, and you have to start— first of all, don't isolate, because a lot of people, when they're feeling kind of down and they're never going to meet, it's like a cycle. We dump all— we just get more and more bummed out, right? It's not gonna happen again, we're gonna get hurt. And so I want to say, since online dating worked for you in the past, you know, you didn't have a great experience, it might be a good idea just to like start putting a profile up again. I'm not saying you got to date anyone online, but just to like realize that there, you know, there are other people out there. But also, if you like, know I can't even go on OkCupid ever again or Tinder, that's fine too. Why not do the old-fashioned way of meeting people by being out in the world? Because when you're feeling really down and scared and traumatized by this thing, the thing you have to do, which is the most unnatural, is force yourself to go out in the world again and to start meeting people. And this way, which is even better than online dating, or has, has pros to the cons of online dating, is that you actually get to like meet someone in an environment that you get to see if you have chemistry. It's not this whole online hype where you create this whole image of them before you meet them. And so I would say don't even think of it as that you're going out to look for dates. Think of it as like you're going out there because you want to start getting your life back together. So You can start— take a class that you've always wanted to take, you know, take a wine tasting class or take an athletic class. There's always these like singles things too you could do. Um, you could, you know, go to a museum, like go for a walk, put your cell phone down. This is my like number one tip for people. We were just talking about girls taking selfies at the bar, like hot chicks. They're probably not banging anyone or getting enough likes on Instagram because all they're doing is like staring at their phones the whole time. And that is— when you're looking down at technology or when you're talking to your friends, you're not going to meet someone. So like I've said in the past, you just have to be open to meeting someone because I promise you, Adam, you've been through this experience. This is not how it's going to be for your lifetime. And you're allowed to go through this like depression and feeling really bad about it right now. And I think it's good that you're feeling this because a lot of people just kind of want to get under to get over, right? They just go bang a bunch of chicks or guys to get over it, but you're actually mourning and feeling that it's painful. So I love that you were able to articulate to me what is going on. And I'm saying you can still feel those things, but maybe once a week, You know, I always say, say yes to every invite you get for like a month. Maybe if you're feeling like, oh, I don't want to see this friend or that friend, it's probably just you're bummed out. Maybe you're a little depressed. So force yourself to do one thing a week that you wouldn't normally do. And again, you cannot even think that it has to do with dating. It's just about meeting people, like going out there and starting to socialize and let your friends know I'm single because that's also a great way to meet someone. Tell everyone, you know, I'm single, I'm looking for someone. If you haven't think of anyone, you know, and, uh, get yourself out there. So it'd be a fresh start. and especially if you're shy, great way to meet people and get into the dating scene.

What would you say, Menace? Uh, well, I did say like, go, don't be afraid to go back online if that's what you're comfortable with and you've had some sex, uh, some sex, some sex and some success with that. And then also, again, yeah, changing up your, your routine. We always talk about we're going out to the— people can hear you say People can hear you 3 more minutes. Don't worry about it.

No, wait, of the show?

Yeah, you're good. Okay, got it.

We have 3 more minutes. Sorry guys, it's trying to be under there.

But no, like, you can, uh, you know, like, change up your routine. We've talked about this over the years where, if again, if you do the same thing every day, you— we just said that. But change, you know, change up. Like, if you take a bus this day, take a bus that day.

Take a different bus, right? Take a different route home from work. Don't eat at the same restaurant every day for lunch and say hello to people. Just say hi when you're like, really, like it's not like there's some major pickup line.

And it's so weird because I do that to every single person, not that I'm trying to sleep with them, but it is so, it throws people off so much these days where I say hello to every single person I go by. When you're walking down the street?

Huh? Just like when you're walking down the street?

Or yeah, like, well, kind of here and there. If we like, we make, if we make eye contact, I say hello. Okay. Definitely. Which is good practice.

And then this happens to you. So when you're in the office, you mean?

When I'm in the office, I say hello to everybody. I do not email people. I go and I talk to them in person. No, that's great. It is so crazy. Like all these offices are like, people are emailing each other like 3 cubicles over. Like why?

Because we're losing the touch of like human connection. And I have a real problem with it lately. The way that texting, we're doing shows on this too, but the way that texting and everything's taking over our lives and nobody has face-to-face communication.

Yeah, people are social— like socially inept, dumb, you know. It's so true. And it's funny because like there's so many guys in LA are— I don't know, I'm sorry if you're listening. If you're, if you're from LA, born and raised in LA, I think you're okay. But if you're like a transplant or something, like most people, why the eff are guys in LA the biggest freaking vaginas of life.

Okay, tell me why you think that, because I think that too. But I want to know.

It's so crazy because like, so when we do the radio show in the morning and we do something that people maybe find like offensive or like edgy or anything like that, we automatically, uh, we're gonna assume like, oh, women are gonna complain. It is men that complain the most. About what? They're like trying to stick up for feminism and all this shit, all these, and it's just guys. They're like, hey guys, that was, you know, you were talking about vibrators and, you know, I had my kids in the car. And then like, dude, for one, you are the parent, so you decide what your kid listens to. I'm sorry, right, if we ended up talking about vibrators, all right? But you are a man. Like, why are you bitching and complaining? Like, I'm like, all the complaints are from men.

That's interesting, you always think it's more so the woman.

You assume it's gonna be the woman, and then it's so crazy in Los Angeles, because we've done radio other places, and I've been everywhere, I do not know why men in LA are the biggest fucking pussies of life.

But not about, I thought you were gonna say in a dating realm, but you mean they're just more—

Well, it's funny because my friends from New York, that move here and like friends from other places that move here, they're like, women in LA, it's like shooting fish in a barrel because other guys are, they don't even know how to talk to women or they're just pussies, you know?

Yeah, they're running into your morning show.

But I'm not talking about the people that are actually like born and raised here.

I get it. We're making an exclusion for people who are actually born here.

Yeah, because the people born and raised in Los Angeles that I find, I think they get a bad rap because people are like, oh, people in LA, they're stuck up and all this stuff. Like anyone that I met born here is super cool. And then like 50/50 on the transplants or if they're like cool or not, you know, they're trying too hard.

Hey, but we're cool because we came here after San Francisco.

I know, right? So cool. So cool. Okay, everyone.

Well, that's all we have time for today.

Sorry, I had to vent about that. No, that's true.

I mean, I don't think— I'm not gonna make a blanket— No, I don't know.

We'll talk about it on the next podcast, but I want to say, like you said, in the dating realm, that's really important to me.

Well, in the dating realm, I just have to say that it's just very different here because I feel like, and I just did an article for Elite Daily, they just interviewed me about this. About this almost boyfriend syndrome that people are dating. We talked about this actually another time, but people are— no one's really dating. Everyone's looking for the bigger, better deal. They're kind of like not really committal. There's always other options. And that's kind of been my— which I guess that's how I've been in the past. But also, I haven't even met that many quality men. I mean, friends I have, but we'll get to this another time. Okay, love you. Find Menis at @menis on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter. And all that good stuff. Yeah, let's do that. And, yeah, find me. Also, you should totally be following me on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook, and I just want to thank everyone for listening and joining the show, and was it good for you? Email me, feedback@sexwithemily.com. Okay, everyone, speaking of toys for the holidays, I don't want the guys to feel left out because Fleshlight is the number one sex toy for men, so you should probably get one for the holidays or get one for your partner, and it's probably the only toy you want because let me tell you about it. It is a male masturbation sleeve, and you could actually feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even when you don't have a partner. It is body-safe material. It was invented by NASA. It actually looks and feels like the real deal, if you know what I mean. You put your penis in it, use a little lube, and it feels freaking amazing. We've written a lot about it on our website, and I've just— every person I've given it to has been like, holy moly. Every guy, straight, whatever, married, single, are like, this is the best thing ever since sliced bread. The Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit also can help you last longer in bed and become a better lover. And if you have a particular porn porn star that you love, you could probably get a Fleshlight that is molded into her private parts, if you know what I mean. So, oh, and here's a great deal that the people at Fleshlight love me, you, and my listeners, loves my listeners so much, and I love you too, that actually now if you buy a Fleshlight, they are throwing in their Flesh Lube with every single purchase. So all you have to do is use code Emily. So go to my website. This is what you gotta do. You have to click on the Fleshlight banner. When you get there, pick out the toy you want, use code EMILY at checkout, and you get a bottle of award-winning lube. Because you know why? Lube makes sex better all around. So, go to sexwithemily.com, click, click on the Fleshlight banner, use code EMILY, and buy yourself something special or your partner something special for the holidays. Thanks for listening.