Mastering Sex and Seduction with the LadyGang

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

Okay, I'm talking to Lady Gang. Let's just. Okay.

This is Lady Gang.

This is their podcast. No, it's entertaining. I'm so glad you guys are here. We're back. I hope I made you feel welcome. And there was no way of Course.

You always do.

You have great energy.

Thank you.

Unlike us, we have.

We have weird, bitchy energy, apparently.

Okay. The lady gang is a hot podcast. It really is. You guys started now like two and a half years ago.

A year and a half ago.

It feel okay? Well, you're kicking ass and I'm really. I'm proud of you all. It's so. It's such an interesting show. Pop culture, everything. Like, just your raw, honest, like, beliefs about. I don't know, how would you explain your podcast? Because I'm not doing a job at that.

It's kind of like some celebrity interviews, some experts, and mostly us talking about, like our good and bad experiences in life.

I love that you open up with your good and bad. I just love all your segments. And I can listen to you. Like, here's the thing that's amazing about your podcast. No matter what you're talking about, you do want to listen to you guys. And I think three women can be hard for some people. Now we got four, but it, like works.

I don't know how that happens.

You guys are funny and you're smart and you're hot and. But you're. You're different enough, but yet you. You just come together.

We're also very self deprecating, so I.

Think that helps it.

None of us take ourselves too seriously.

Well, I take myself very seriously, but they.

But in like a self deprecating kind of way, right?

No, it totally works, you guys. And I'm happy to have seen it grow. Just like you're gonna have it feel.

You were there in the beginning.

I know. I love it.

I did help us. And it's like, nice for girls to be on girl sides.

Well, I had. Okay, so I had two insecurities. Now they're gonna bring this up. After last podcast, we were just talking about someone who's on your show and they were like, you guys had weird energy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which I'm sure who knows what people are thinking? But I laughed and I was like, jack. And you guys probably don't. Isn't it funny you don't remember this? I was like, I'm so proud of you. Cause I don't know what you guys. I follow you all. I'm like. And I saw your stuff like in Sister, and you're like, thanks. And then I was like, and great to see you, Kelsey Beck. I'm like, not that you guys aren't kicking ass as well.

Oh, my.

See, I wouldn't even thought twice.

Yeah, no.

Okay, good. Because you guys are All. Okay, great. That's all. Okay, wait. So let's go around and do your introductions of how you would do it on your podcast.

Okay.

Becca can just do it.

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin, actress and blogger and podcaster. Across from me, Keltie Knight, entertainment journalist.

Hi.

She's on.

She.

Oh, my God, Kelty and her voice.

Yeah, she always does some weird, stupid voice.

Moving into mom humor at this point in her life.

Embarrassing.

And Jack Vanik has Jack Vanik clothing and all these sassy house goods. T shirts, sweatshirts. They're funny. I don't know.

I love sassy.

You are a sassy. It's awesome. And you guys are all doing fashion and your blogs. You can find that. I'll put it on my. On my website as well. But it's at the lady at Lady Gang, across the board for everything.

The Lady Gang.

Yep. The Lady Gang. Okay, I'm gonna ask. Well, first, what you asked me about the blowjob spray. And I just want to start because I feel like from one podcaster to three other podcasters.

Sure.

Help. It's for blowjobs. It makes sure. So your mouth is lubricated enough. You know, when you're dry mouth during blowjobs ever happen to you, however, when you're on the air? Sometimes right when you're doing this, you're like. Like you don't want to be that person.

That's the worst.

Strawberry.

Yeah.

You can try it if you want. And your voice will feel. You'll feel like your voice is lubricated and your next blow job.

Wait, can I just tell you a story really quick?

Please?

So when you're on our podcast last, you gave us a bunch of little goodies, and one of them was Juicy Mouth. Was it Juicy Mouth?

Yeah, Juicy Mouth.

No, it wasn't. It was the Buzz spray. The Buzz.

The Buzz. Literal buzz stuff.

It was like gel. And one night I was going to bed. I have terrible eyesight, I wear glasses, and I accidentally put it on my lips thinking it was chapstick.

Oh, you can actually test it on your lips. That's what we do.

It's a normal thing. So that I was totally just testing it.

Yeah.

I was like, what the fuck is happening?

Put on your clitoris as well.

Not the same night, but yes, eventually.

It's fun. I think that was fun.

We all put it during a show.

During the show.

We did it on the podcast.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

I love that we all reached out to you. I feel like I was there. You were there?

Yeah. I feel. That's amazing. What'd you think?

I thought it was.

I didn't do it.

I know you didn't.

It was just me and Jack.

Yeah, I did.

At a restaurant. One of our clients gave it to us. System Joe. They were like, we're starting this new product. What do you think? And then Madison and I went to the bathroom, and then we put it on and came back to the table. And I was like, are you buzzing? I'm buzzing. I mean, it's just. Anything that can help little clitoris get going.

Yeah, it was a little.

Sexually, I liked it. What else did I give you? Lube. You guys are leaving with a bunch of prizes today.

I gotta tell you, Emily, that you gave us, like, some juicy Whatever. I don't remember what it was.

Lube.

No, it was like some similar to this.

Oh, I already gave you that then.

Not exactly.

Something like that.

And I keep it in the voiceover booth at work.

Oh, good.

Because it really is better than throat coat. Like, I think all the singers, we should be like, what's up, Taylor Swift or Katy Perry? Have some blow, Johnson.

Yeah, so it's by Doc. I think it's on our website. Isn't it good? Johnson. Doc Johnson. Okay, I'm gonna ask you guys a rapid fire round question. One question. Because I know you guys start your podcast. I love all your people like the segments, people like that. It's predictable. And you guys always have great answers. Not predictable, but they get like, oh, this is the part that I like.

Structure.

Structure. See, do you know that my life is such that I can't even come up with the word structure? So hard for me that I'm like, oh, yeah, what's that called? Organization.

Things are in order.

You know when things are in order, what do you call that thing I just did? My Meyer Briggs all over the place.

Yeah.

I love that you have a butt.

Plug on your table right now.

It's true. Okay, what's the sexiest piece of clothing a guy could wear?

Ooh.

Ooh.

I've never thought of this sexiest piece.

Of clothing in my.

It could be like a great pair of shoes.

Okay.

I say like a nice fitted suit.

Yeah, I was gonna say like a really well fitted, like, tailored suit. So maybe it's like my daddy issues, but I really like a man in a suit.

And you also never see that in la.

No, no.

Unless they're going to some bullshit premiere that nobody cares about.

Yeah. Ex angry.

I love it. I get it. But you really don't.

I just feel like if a guy's an actor and he wants to date, that he's not that bright and he's gonna be more into himself than into me. Right?

Yeah.

Is that what we're statistic as well? I'm still. I'm still new to the. I can't say this anymore. I've lived here for four years, but I still feel like I haven't totally noticed the guys in LA are that much. Are that worse than anywhere else. Aren't that much worse? Well, I don't know. I feel like every city has its challenges around men.

Yeah. I feel like guys in general are just kind of shitty.

No, that's how you're feeling. You're dating, though. You're on the league.

I'm on the league and I'm on Raya. The league is for people with jobs. Good jobs.

That's what I was laughing at. You're like, how sad for our generation that there has for people with jobs.

It's like, oh, you're getting paid well. You're like an executive position, like, great. And then Raya's for people in entertainment, but it's like a bunch of creative directors, AKA people without jobs.

Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Photographers, quote, unquote.

Did you have to apply? Who? You have to apply to dating that's famous. Anyone that you can talk about?

No.

Okay.

I don't want to date anybody that's.

Is there anyone that's, like, legitimately good? Like, is there a Hemsworth on Raya or is it all, like, people, celebrities you wouldn't want to date anyways?

It's a lot of, like, B listers, but there's a lot of athletes. Like, Kevin Durant's on there, John Mayer's on there.

Really?

Yeah.

Would you want to match with them just to like, write an angry song about him or something? Or about you?

Yeah. Hell yeah.

Right?

Yeah. I mean, I love musicians. Just new actors.

Right. I gotcha. I'm down. I mean, who knows, right? Have you guys ever had a deal breaker for someone? Like, what is your main deal breaker? First of all, when you're dating cheap.

Like, I cannot handle a guy.

I get it.

I cannot handle it.

Guns.

I know that sounds stupid, but, like, anyone that's like, it covers such an umbrella. Like, don't take me to a shooting range on a date. Don't be like, when I go to your house and I see that halo and you have like, an Xbox and, like, you like to have PlayStation. No, it's a Shooting, like, it. And if you're like, I'm gonna take you to a movie and we're gonna go to a movie where it's just like guys shooting up each other the whole time. Like, all of that I hate.

Okay.

If you're that kind of person. I don't like violence. And gamers, it's all one big thing. It's like any entertainment that comes from, like, shooting at things or people is not for me.

Yeah, interesting.

But your thing.

But some people love it. There's girls that are like gamers.

I don't.

Didn't you say you wanted to go to a shooting range on a date?

Oh, yeah. It's fun.

Yeah, it's horror. I went on a date.

We have a gun.

Okay. There you go. I love it. See? Protected.

We both know how to use it. It's like he travels a lot. I'm home alone. I only feel safe if I have a gun.

Okay.

I'm that person.

But like, don't take me on a date.

But don't explore yourself.

But if he was like talking about guns on the first date.

No, that wouldn't be hot. No, no, it's like.

It's like, don't talk about politics and. Yeah, yeah, right.

That's true.

Okay, so that's mine.

My deal breaker is bad grammar and texting. Or like saying you like with the letter U or lol. Actually, LOL is the worst one.

Really? Women. Can your girlfriends get away with that?

No, none of my girlfriends do.

They don't go you. I do you.

You know, I say LOL only if it's like, ironic.

Yeah. So do you haha?

Yes, I'm a haha.

Okay, you go haha. But LOL is just. It's just lame. I don't know. I do the you thing cuz I'm just so. But you can spell. I really should stop doing that then.

Well, it's. Especially when you're like starting to date somebody.

I'm like, you're stupid. I don't think I do it with the guys I'm texting and dating. Yeah.

Your other deal breaker, Short.

What is it? I know you can't do short.

Can't do it.

Like, like you like six, seven.

Yeah. Six, seven was my ex boyfriend.

Yeah.

So now anything under that seems short. And Becca just can't wait until I get married to a guy that's like, no, six.

I know she's gonna get married and she's gonna be walking down the alley.

That's why I was gonna ask, because don't you think that there are some things that you think I could never deal with, but then you end up maybe with that person. That's right, my ex for sure.

My ex had kids and that was always like a deal breaker for me too. So it's like kind of.

But you see how if you find the right person or if you find someone that you want to. Okay, guys, I have a question for you that I've been. I really wanted to bring this up today because I really. Taking a survey of my women friends. You're the first I've asked. So I went away with a guy recently for the weekend and we were talking about oral sex. And he said, I think that women. He's found that more women than not don't like receiving oral sex. He's like, they just don't like it. And I was like, well, maybe it's what you're doing or it's uncomfortable. And he's like, they just don't like it. And I think that when I was younger, maybe in my early 20s, it really wasn't my thing. Like, I don't. I think I wasn't as comfortable. I think guys don't know what they're doing. And now I'm like, dude, you better give oral. We're like, we're done. Game over. Did he. Oh yeah. This guy, was he good at?

Might just be him. And he sucks at it, so nobody.

Wants him to do it. But that's the thing. I don't know. So then. And then Dr. Drew used to always say when we were on Loveline, he's like, some women just don't like it. Women who are multi orgasmic, if you can have a lot of orgasms at those women, it's too sensitive for them to receive oral. So I'm just wondering across the board, how do you feel about oral sex? Receiving?

I love it, but it's like you have to be good at it. And there are so many men that aren't, so then it's just like a.

Pain in the ass. But do you teach them if they're not good at it? Jack. Jack. Yeah. How do you teach them? Jack Vanicure, Jack Van.

Jack Vanik.

Teach us about both sides. The problem with, I feel like a lot of that kind of stuff is men just move too fast always. So with oral it's just like, slow down. We're very sensitive. And also it's not like just the clit.

Like everything is the whole thing, right? Exactly.

So take your time and. Yeah.

Do you feel like You've taken a guy who was like, hurting you, not that great with oral to being like, no can make you come.

Because it's just like, not into it.

Not putting the time in. Yeah, okay. Yes.

I also love it, but it has to be at the right time. I like it like after a shower, like when. You know what I mean? Like, come home from working. 12 hours is not the time for you to be like, I want to go down on you. Like, I get why women probably are like, I've never liked it because it's like, you have to be so comfortable and a little bit confident in your body and yourself to like. I also like it with some lights down. Like, I'm not about to, like, show you at all with the lights up. It's like, ah, fluorescence. So, yeah. And then I agree. I think it's. People really are bad at it.

They are.

And they don't know. And the problem is we started so young, right? Like, when people first lose their virginity, you don't want to be a letdown. So everyone's faking. All the girls are faking everything because they don't even know what an orgasm is. And then guys get trained. They're like, well, Jennifer in 12th grade loved this move. And you're like, well, no, she didn't. But you know it's true.

They always remember it. They're like, well, no girl's ever faked it before. I'm like, every girl has probably faked it. But we've, you know. Do you still fake it?

I don't anymore.

I don't fake it, Becca.

Not with. Not with my husband. But I was a regular faker before that because I just was like, I'm too tired to explain to you why I'm not going to get there.

Right.

And I think it just, you know, we don't even need to discuss it. Like, I know why I'm not going to be able to get there. I'm distracted, I'm stressed. I'm whatever. But like, let's not make it a thing.

So it's like, that's why most women do it. It's really for them. We think in our head it's for them. But then we're just creating these legions of men who go out and they're like, I'm the master of the universe. I can make a girl come just by looking at it.

Yeah, I know. It's a suck embarrass.

And I'm okay with having sex sometimes and it just being like sex for you.

You Know what I mean?

And then I like, I was on vacation recently, we went to Tahiti and I called it like the sexcation because it was like this reconnection. And it's like sometimes we had sex and he got off and I was like, meh, get me later. You know. And then sometimes I was like, literally hold out my vibrator and be like, it's my turn. And like, you know what I mean? It's just like it's a give and take. Like it's not gonna happen every time.

That's true. And it's okay if it doesn't happen every time. Yeah.

Okay. So it's exhausting to think about having to like, you know, especially.

What are your hacks then? I mean, that's.

I was gonna say because it's so mental. It's like you have to be in the right space or else. Yeah.

Because you guys are strong entrepreneurs, busy women. You come home and it's like everyone else I know listening. And my friends was like tired. Like they walk in the door. Men are more turned on. We're not. We're like really? Like, you walk in, you have a boner because you think I look hot. And I'm like in the middle of 18 things.

You do.

There's no way, there's no way that I could fucking relax right now enough to get into my body and have an orgasm. So where have you guys found then that. Is there anything that you've learned over the years and. Or now would you say is a sex hack that can get you there in the mood? I mean, I, I still work on it too. Like I'm.

I'll say that I learned. It took me 31 years while I've been having sex for 31 years.

But close.

But I lost my first sex.

Yes. I learned that like when I would get into long term relationships, I would get a little bit like lazy with the waxing, you know, and if I don't feel clean, then it's not happening. Like with the hair and with the shower. So I find now that with my husband it's really important for me to be always ready. Like especially with the wax. Cause otherwise I just get into this place of not feeling sexy. And so it's like an instant. It bumps me up from like a 2 to like a 7 if I have a wax and a shower.

Yeah, it's true. It's for us too. Right? You're absolutely right. It's like lingerie. It's like everything.

I don't want to get lazy how.

Do you know if you're ready with a wax, though? What if you're, like, right before the wax?

I mean, like, just always keeping it maintained and, like, not going as long between waxes, even though that was my habit, because I just. We have so much stuff to worry about.

So much stuff. One thing grows, the other thing's chopped. I'm like, oh, my eyebrows. Done.

It's insane. Like, at any given moment, there's, like, six things I can do on my body to make myself feel better and.

Look better, but I just.

Who has the time, right?

Nobody has. So you're right.

In pain.

We just let ourselves go.

If I have a fresh wax and a fresh mani pedi, I walk out like I'm on a cloud.

Oh, give me a spray tan. I'm, like, so hot.

Oh, my God. Spray tan.

Look at this.

I just went to Mexico. Oh, disgusting.

Doesn't feel good when it fades.

Where do you go? You have a good place. You got to hook me up with where you go.

Well, obviously not.

Well, no, exactly. But, like, I feel like the thing about that. I just went to Mexico, didn't get one. So the whole time I was like, I'm not.

But then you smell. Then all day long. Who's got a full day where you can't, like, wear the makeup and do the thing? But that's a whole other chick thing. Okay, so any other. So you were saying that you give. You use a vibrator? Kelty. Do you guys all use. Oh, here's the other thing that happened. So the oral sex thing is, like. We feel like it's a skill thing, is what we're saying.

Yes.

But we all enjoy it here at the table.

I love it.

Love. Love.

And you can't teach.

You think you can?

I don't want to.

I don't want to either.

I don't want to.

Especially at our age.

Listen to, like, my last 86 episodes go out right Then put your head between my legs.

But you can, like, positive reinforcement, which I learned from you, actually, the first time you were on our podcast, it really changed my life because.

Yeah.

You gave the advice of, like, just say yes. You were like, it's like working out. Like, nobody really wants to work out. Just wants to have sex long. Five minutes into it, you'll be like, okay, this isn't so bad.

Yeah.

And then also, you were talking about, like, saying what you like after the fact. So I've really started doing that, where I'll be like, out with my husband. Will be like, three Hours later. And I'll be like, it was so amazing when you did that thing. And then he'll like. He's like. And then the next time, he's like.

Oh, and do it again. Right, Right. That's great reinforcement.

Not like, you really changed my life.

Sex with Emily changed my life.

I love it.

One orgasm at a time.

That's what I want to do. That's it. Did I give you toys last time or I didn't. Because you guys are going to go home with some things. You're going to go home with some prizes, as I mentioned. But did I give you toys or.

Just the best lube? What was it?

Joe?

Yeah, I've got more of that Copa.

I need that.

I've got everything for you. But do you guys. Okay, because this is another. I had. I thank God I'm dating again. Because when I took that year off and it wasn't like, I'm not going to date for a year, I just looked up and a year had gone by, which is fine. But I know I'm having all these experiences, and I realized that I forget that some guys have never used a sex toy with a woman, and they still have some kind of judgment around it. Or think, like, sex should be natural between two people. Or like, like nothing else is natural in the world. Meaning there's advancements in everything. Technology, you know, we use technology to get court. We supposed to be in, like the horse and buggy or. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

So even with sex, to use something that's gonna help you get over, you know, he was like, I just don't think it's this. And like, so when women had orgasms using a shower head, you know, a lot of women, their first orgasm. Is that a bad thing? Right, Right. So was that not really an orgasm? So I'm. I kind of have to go backwards and be like, listen, it's just like if you were having ice cream, and then you can have ice cream every night, but then some nights you want a little sprinkles and it tastes a little better. It's not better. I can't say better, but it's a little addition. Point is, have you guys used toys with partners? Without.

Yeah.

What kind does it do feel like? Guys come along and they're like, okay, yeah, I'm down with it.

Yeah. I mean, mostly with my ex. I don't know how early I would, like, bring it out with, like, a random.

Okay.

With like, a guy that you're, like, just started dating.

Right.

Without maybe, like, talking about it first.

Okay, yeah, I see that.

I don't know.

I do. But sometimes it feels stupid. Like, there's certain things that are, like, accessible. Like, you're like, here's my vibrator. Here's whatever. But then the time I tried to, like, bring out the, like, feather whipper, and I was like, what am I doing with my life? Cause I covered that, like, 50 shades of grey movie, and they came out with a second. They gave me, like, one of everything, and I was like, I'm your dream woman. I was like, what the fuck do I do with this? Sorry, I know I can't swear.

You can swear.

What do I do with this? Like, then I felt stupid. So there's certain things that I think work, and then there's certain things. Hello to orgasm calling to Mexico.

Right?

Anyway, so there's certain things I like, and some things I'm like, this is.

So embarrassing because you're, like, not a dominatrix. And then you feel, like, weird.

You're so popular.

It's like, the same thing going through.

To the phone that never. How do we make that stop? No one calls. She's gonna leave a message. Now. What kind of toy. No, I'm not. What toys?

I love a vibrator.

Which one, though, do you use, like, when you hand it to your husband? I'm just curious, okay.

Why?

Two of my favorites are the one we had in our lady box. We have, like, a little subscription box, so we put the bamboo rose gold. It has, like, 10 speeds. It's just like a little pocket.

Oh, I love it.

It was very cute. And then I like the ball that has a cord that has, like, a. Oh, the egg.

The little egg.

Oh, okay.

I like an egg because it's so easy to take with you wherever you're going. And it doesn't feel like your penis is too small. So let me bring out this big, other vibrating penis. You know, it's like. It's not, like, so scary.

Does the egg go inside of you?

No, you just kind of, like, rub it around.

You just totally hold it.

Like, you can. I can be having, like, sex and also, like, hold it on myself just.

Yeah, it's a clitoral toy. Yeah, it's like a clitoral.

I like to look a little mini me, too.

But do you require it, like, during? Like, you can still have orgasm without. Yeah, that's good.

That's awesome.

Not good or bad.

You can have an orgasm without a.

Toy just having sex. Yeah, just, like, can you not no.

Really? No.

Can you?

Yeah. But it has to be, like, a very specific angle.

Me too.

And otherwise, though, wouldn't you kind of be like, Well, I know it's the angle. It's gonna take some time. I'm just gonna use the vibrator for sure.

I mean, there are many times that it's like, you just take out the vibrator and, you know, everybody's gonna have a good time, and it's gonna be like, easy, easy.

It's not like you have to focus for, like, 15 minutes trying to make it happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You haven't had the pushback then from someone who's like, I will not use a toy.

No, no.

Okay. Just put it out there. No, that's all. Okay, we're gonna get into sex and use. But the other thing, I kind of wanted to talk about masturbation. I had a really important question for you too, about that. Ooh, Becca.

Only just me.

Okay. Do you masturbate a lot, Becca?

Not more than. I don't think more than the average person.

What is the average?

Oh, but I will say sometimes this is weird. My husband will be like. He'll go out of town and we'll, like. If it comes up, like, jerking off or masturbating or whatever, he'll like, did you masturbate when I was gone? Like, I never tell him I do.

Oh, you always say no to say that you do.

Does he want you to?

But that's the thing.

I don't know. I mean, I don't think he would care. He's not like, one of those people who's like, what are you thinking about if I'm not there? But for some reason, it feels like my private time and my private thing, and it's like, it's not about him.

Right. I get it.

You know?

Exactly.

It's like being on a date with myself.

Yes.

Well, I feel that's my thing. Because, you guys, this keeps going. And it's true. It is self love time. It's so important for women. Like, I even forget. And it's my job. Like, it's on my calendar. Like, try the new weave. I wish today I'm like, God damn it. Talk about the show. I've tried it.

That would feel like, pressure.

I know. I know.

Even sex toys can give me anxiety because I'm like, there's so many. They're all charging.

So many.

Of them charging in my house. Thank you. And I do. This is a good. Great question, because I actually want to interview her because there's one here now. They're the same ones that clean my house and here. And when I came in the other day on Saturday or whatever day that was, Lark Friday, I walked in, I came back in to get something, and he was already here. And I want to be like, what do you think I do? Well, it's a he. It's a man and woman, but he was here. I'm like, because if you guys see there's, like, dildos sitting up, there's, like, a butt plug on the table. Like, what exactly do you think? Like, what I do want to know what I think I do care.

We should ask them.

So I was thinking about it that the one more thing is that it's. When we look at trends in sex, there's been so many questions lately from my listeners who are very. Just confused by masturbation in the relationship. And I was just wondering if it's ever been, like, an issue in your relationship, whereas your partner was like, why do you masturbate? Or do you want. Do they, like, hide it from you or poor. No issue. You guys are open.

Yeah. No, it's not an issue. Especially because, like I said, he travels.

I bet he thinks it's kind to say one thing. I bet you he thinks it's hot that you masturbate.

Yeah. Not that, you know, he knew.

If he only knew. No, like, my last relationship was long distance, too. So it was like, if you, like, incorporate them into it and, like, make it, like, a mutual thing, I think it's like. Yeah, it's super.

I think so, too. Mutual masturbation or doing it together or saying, like, I was thinking about you. They love it. Like, narrate. So for anyone listening who wants to know about dirty talk, I get tips all the time. I feel like. Just narrate whatever happened last time. What you thought last time you were masturbating, like, I was thinking about you putting your fingers inside, you know, works.

I'm turned on right now.

Oh, my student, My student. I want to change your life this time. What else? The blowjobs. Oh, you already knew about the blowjobs, right?

I did, but I.

Butt plug. There's gonna be more. You want a butt plug?

You probably want a new butt.

I don't want the one that everyone's touched.

I know.

I agree.

I can't do butt anything.

I can give you some butt stuff.

No, I don't know.

Okay, let's go to sex in the news. Okay.

Sex.

Because we have to. Phubbing.

Whoa.

Yep. Phubbing. P H U B B I N G worrying new phone trend may be killing your relationship. So what it stands for, it's a mix of phone and snubbing. And it happens when somebody mid conversation will become more absurd with their mobile than with the company they're in. It's bad news for relationships. It can dramatically diminish our satisfactions with the ones we're with.

I'm a fubber.

Yeah, you are.

You're a fubber.

100%.

She was a fuber in the middle of her.

Wait, what do you fub in the middle of the show?

Yeah, I did yesterday. It was an accident.

She was posting on Instagram while she was like. But here's supposed to be wrapping up the show.

Like, she was bored.

And no, everyone close to me knows that, like, I can't multitask. And so when I focus in on something, it's like laser focus. And so if I get like, it, if I'm standing on set and my makeup artist is, like, making small talk with me while she's powdering me, and, like, I look down and there's something on my phone, I will go, like, into the phone world. And now, like, and then she's. She just looks around people, she goes, don't be offended by Kelty right now. This is just how she is.

See, that's good.

But then, like, I feel like a dick. But then I'm also like, well, right. No, this is who I am as a person. Can't do anything about it.

Going back to why everyone loves the Lady Gang podcast, I had, like, a friend from Chicago staying with me, and she was. My best friend, was talking to her best friend in Chicago, and she was like, oh, my God, I like Emily. I heard her on the Lady Gang. She's obsessed with your podcast. And it was just like in Chicago.

Thanks for the listeners.

She asked me all these questions, like, what? You guys were like, no, I'm sure there's many. But she was obsessed with you guys just because you guys are successful, strong, smart, hot. Smart and hot. And then also, like, you're fucking real. You're like, this is how it is.

Authentic.

We're very flops. Talk about the floss.

I think we like our flaws.

We're flubbers.

But that's. Don't you think that that's the secret in life is learning to love? I think there's or accept them.

There's like a balance between accepting them and if it's something that can be fixed, fixed. Being active in trying to fix it yeah.

Not, like, using it, is it as an excuse of, like, that's how I am. I'm just, like, a fucking asshole. It's like, no, you don't have to be.

Right. That's true.

So the power is, like, surrounding yourself with people who can be honest with you. Because I think we're so full of shit. And what works for us is, like, we love each other and we will call each other out in the same sentence. So it's like, I've learned so much about the way that I am. Because your friends and people around you are the mirrors to you.

Absolutely.

And no one, especially when you're in show business, like, it's just all yes men. So everyone's like, you're so great. And then they talk behind your back. It's nice to have people around you that are like, you're a fubber. And it actually is offensive to people, so you should, like, work on it. Even though I don't know if it's possible.

Right. It's kind of hard when things are coming in. In the. In the. In the.

I think when I'm with a fubber. As long as they say, like, hold on, I have to be an asshole for a second.

Yeah.

Like, it's the. As long as they're, like, saying. I see they're aware. And also not mid sentence. Like, if you're telling a story and someone starts looking down at their phone and then they're just gone. Like, it feels like shit.

Yeah.

So if you're with somebody who. It's like, let them finish. Get it out. Even if, like, you're. Your phone is vibrating like crazy in your hand. That's something I had to start doing, like, turning my phone off.

Right.

Never ringing.

Except for just now. I do that.

Well, I mean, you're working, but, like, when you're with people and then, like, with. If I'm with my husband and it's something important, like, we're all texting on whatever. I'm like, I'm going in the hole right now. Like, it's.

I think that's a really great way to handle it because I think there's some people who just don't.

They don't even feel, like, oblivious.

Yeah. Right. How about with dating Jack? Almost 18 million men that are in love with you that you're dating, I'm.

Guessing so many billion. Do they do this? Are you asking?

Yeah. Do they fob.

No. I've actually been pretty lucky with it. Like, especially on dates. It's like, I don't Even have my phone out with me. And I would assume you, like, leave it at home. No, No. I mean, I put it, like, in my purse.

Got it.

Okay.

I'm like, what, dude? What if I get killed?

Like, yeah, or kidnapped.

That's.

I love that.

That's where you go. Not like, what if I have to get another date and pretend someone's sick in the hospital? What if I get killed?

What if they try to kill me? I got to be able to call 911, but, yeah, I haven't really had anybody that's, like, gone on their phone, especially on, like, first dates. I think that's, like, the worst quality in some way.

It is. So I think everyone's gotten the message now then.

Yeah.

Not to be a fubber.

Yeah, it's hard.

Okay. Well, I feel like I've been out with a few guys, and some of them are just completely clueless lately. One that I really liked, and he. He's addicted. And he even said, I'm addicted to my phone, and I don't know what to do about it in like, mid sentence. And then he's like, there's an article that was, like, came out or some blog post. It was like, people look at their phones 150 times a day, and then they do it during sex and stuff.

During sex?

I was sleeping with it a while ago, actually. He's like, well, at least I didn't take it out during sex.

I'm like, at least like, that's.

That's, like, lame. I know. I'm just telling you that's.

I'd literally slap somebody.

But I think some people work on. We talk about it, but I think there's a lot of people who. I don't know. I think it's a good reminder. Just. Just people just. They're strong.

Don't be a dick.

Okay, can we go back to your friendship for a minute? So when you said one of the things that's really helped you all, like, kind of grow and accept yourselves and be authentic. Did you know each other very well before the lady gang podcast?

Not very well.

I mean, I didn't know Becca was not gonna do anal with you.

We weren't that close.

Like, Kelty knew both of us, but.

Not like, I didn't know you, like, super, super well as acquaintances.

But you guys are like BFFs now.

Well, well, me and Becca met the first day that we were like, to podcast one.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they connected you.

They're like, Kelsey, like, connected us all, I guess. But, yeah, Becca and I hadn't met before that, and we're like, we're best friends.

So you get, oh, right. You're like, I. Then it works. But you guys call each other out on things. Like you said, like, it's a mirror. You'll be like, things that maybe other friends have not.

I don't know what it was, but I think the reason the podcast works is because we're not constantly in communication unless it's work stuff.

Yeah.

Like, I don't hear about Kelty's date night or Jack's date with, like, Tom, Dick, or Harry. Like, she saves everything for the podcast. So it's like our listeners are getting to know us as we're getting to know each other. Yeah.

We become good friends. Literally.

I.

People have heard us become good friends.

But you don't all hang out. But it work. But in the moment, you can call each other on stuff because that is a sign of good friend. Okay, Just curious. Well, it works, you guys. It's beautiful. Thanks. We're gonna give a shout out to our sponsors, everyone. Thank you for supporting them. You know, they help keep the show free. And I would never talk about a product or service that I've not used or put in my vagina. I've been wanting to say that lately, and I'm like, that's amazing to say that. But I was, like, thinking to myself, if I haven't used it, you should. Shouldn't use it and buy it and try it. So I love everything that I talk about, and I love you all for listening. We'll be right back.

Okay, we're on to emails. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show. I love it. It's so easy. You can now text me your question.

Oh, I'll.

I know. Do the texting thing. 797-979. Just text one word. Ask Emily. People that get confused or like, ask Space Emily. It doesn't work. That won't work. It's Ask Emily 279-7979. Or submit a question from the sexwithemily.com website via the Ask Emily tab. We love it. Include your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. Okay, lady Gangers, let's do this. You're gonna help me with this.

We love helping people.

I know.

We rarely do.

No, you guys, a lot of women look up to you young, and your audience is women and men.

I feel some gay men.

Yeah, we have a few.

And a handful of straight men.

Okay, so here's my first Question. Hey, Emily. Oh, this came in via text, which we love. I'm a 39, female, I'm Asian, currently divorced, no kids and two dogs. I eloped at 28, divorced at 32. Dating has been really hard for me. My longest relationship since my divorce was six months and it turned out he was engaged. I've kept myself busy, but now I'm ready to date. I'm grappling with my own rules. I don't date coworkers or my workout maintenance, and I haven't had any luck on the major apps. I've asked all my friends to introduce me to at least one of their single friends, but no luck. Last night I went on a blind date, but I didn't feel a connection at all. Am I too picky? I've been in a lot of first dates. How do I keep guys interested enough to ask me out on second dates? Is there anything wrong with me? Maybe I'm a weirdo. Thank you, Emily. Love your show. We love the and love the we vibe sync. One of the best investments I've ever made. Better than all the guys I've dated since 2012.

I hear you, sister. Mindy, 39, Seattle. Okay, so this sounds like some self confidence challenges. Self esteem challenges we can all deal with. And I always say to people, like, tell everyone you know that you're single. Let your friends know you should date online. Has ever been a time, you know, how do you keep guys interested to go on a second date? And we're not there with you, Mindy, at all. I'm just wondering if, first of all, you said you have your own rules, like you won't date coworkers or my workout mate. I mean, I'm just wondering why, first of all, you spend more time at work and you spend a lot of time working out. And I'm wondering what other rules you have that might be cutting you off meeting people.

Well, number one, if it's not a thing that the work cares about, I don't know why it should be your role and working out. Who cares? I mean, I guess go to a different gym if shit goes sour. Exactly. And you're like, really uncomfortable.

Right.

But yeah, I have to say it's nice to like, push yourself out of your comfort zone if there's like a lot of rules that you're holding on the type of men that you're going out with. Like, yes, I've gone out with a couple short guys since I've been single. You guys. Oh my gosh.

How was it for you?

Can you believe it?

Right?

It wasn't good because.

And you're tall. How tall are you?

Well, I'm not that tall. Five, seven.

Okay.

But, yeah, I mean, there's nothing wrong with, like.

Yeah.

Going outside of the envelope and seeing what happens and. Yeah, Keep putting yourself out there. I guess it sucks and it's annoying, but.

What's that girl's name?

Mindy. Yeah, Mindy.

Mindy. You sound like the kind of girl that texts first and.

Oh, I love it.

You can't be that kind of girl. So stop texting first. When he drops you off or, like, the date is over, don't immediately write and say, I had so much fun tonight, like, he's dead to you after the first date. Do not reach out to him ever again until he reaches out for you and he's gonna wonder where you went and absolutely date people from work. I met my husband at work. Now, I don't remember meeting him for the first three times I met him because I. I was so in my own thing, and I was so busy being my own woman, I was. What is it, phobia?

You were fubbing him?

I was phubbing hardcore that I didn't even notice the man of my dreams was in the hallway. And, you know. And now we're married very happily. We both have jobs at different companies, so, you know, don't text first. Here's the thing. Just because you're a divorcee and you're 34 and you're feeling like my time is up, I gotta find my real match and have my babies and not just docs. Don't put all that pressure on yourself. Your eggs last way longer than people scare you that they do. And you're gonna be fine. You're a hot babe. Don't lose your confidence. Don't ever text first.

Okay? Okay. Would you guys believe in this, the texting thing? I mean, this. I didn't even know this until about two years ago. My friend was like, you what? She would look at my bubble. She's like, okay, do you see? He wrote these three lines and you wrote like 16 lines. I didn't. I know. I've gotten better since then, but it's true. Like, those basic things. You think that women just.

Just.

You can't even say thanks for the date after. No, no. Never, never. Never even. It was amazing.

Never initiate.

Okay, What? Let's talk about.

They'll never text first with my husband.

And we've been texting.

See, this is ridiculous because they still won't text their Husbands first. I'm like, in a relationship you can't be.

What if you like, pick up the milk? No, that's okay.

But like, yeah, I think that there's something that. What happened when women like all this empowerment and, and like self assurance that we've gotten over the years, like in asking for what we want in business and like being assertive and not being a do. These are all incredible, incredible things. But you can't have it spill over into dating. Yes. Have like some self respect and don't get treated like crap, but, like, allow a man to chase you.

It's the chasing thing.

Well, it's also turned men into pussies about it too, because they think they'll be like, oh, well, the woman can take initiative. Women can do this. So I agree with that totally. It's like, be a man. Text the girl if you're into her. Chase after her a little bit. A little courting doesn't like, hurt anybody.

Right? How about not being available, Jack? Even if you are, or like kind of waiting to text. Do you guys have the rules? I love your advice, Kelty, about the. Not right away. I just think it's interesting because people are always wondering, what are these little hacks? Or what are the. The rules? I don't know if like, everyone's gonna.

Agree, but it starts when it starts to become a game. And then you're like, well, you waited hours. I'm gonna wait two hours. It's like, then you get in your head too much, you psych yourself out, and then you end up like, sabotaging whatever it's going on. Yeah, I'm always just like, very honest and very myself and like, like, whatever.

But with a guy.

But you don't text first.

But I'm not desperate.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, okay.

And if a guy's into. He's into you and he's texting you.

So I have a single friend who has this really bad habit of being like, I'm just gonna put it all out there because, like, he's gonna see it eventually. So he's gotta see it. And if he likes it, he likes it. And if he doesn't, he doesn't. I'm like, no, that's not at all what you do.

What do you mean?

Put what. All of her issues. All of her first date, like, first date.

Like, she's like, I want to have. I want to get married. I want to have kids. I want this. Like, this is what I want and I'm not scared to ask. Asked for it. And like, this is who I am. And like, if I had acted like this way, who I really am on my first date with my husband, there would not have been a second date. Like, you have to ease them into.

I like it. It's all good advice. I was gonna ask you, what have you learned in this life dating? You guys are in your all in your early 30s. Yeah. You know, I'm in your 20s. What have you learned?

I love that so much. So good mystery. But more mystery for me is that, like, I less history. A very powerful, powerful woman. I have my own career. I'm a go getter. I make money, you know, Like, I can really take care of myself. Very independent. So I purposely, like, make my husband a God in stupid ways. Like, I'll come home and I could absolutely carry my suitcase upstairs to my bedroom. But I'm like, babe, oh, my suitcase so heavy. Can you carry it upstairs for me? And then he, like, comes down and.

I'm like, oh, I need your muscles.

Like, I'm so stupid about shit like that, but it's like, I can't. Then reach the coffee maker. Like, I need you, tall man. Like, guys want to be our heroes.

And they like to play a little.

Bit into that and, like, really feed his ego. And I know. It's so stupid. And Chris, I definitely know you're listening because you, like, stalk me and you're definitely listening. I love you so much.

Stalks you.

Yes.

He listens to everything. Yeah, he loves it.

Love it. I love you guys.

Anyway, it's amazing, but I'm just saying, like, you know, men need to be needed. And when we are the like, 20th century women.

I think you're right.

Well, yeah, I think that goes for.

We're all independent, strong women have our own things going on. And people say, oh, can it be intimidating? That's a whole another conversation.

Yeah, but still you want.

But it's the feminine energy and masculine energy is still why you're.

Keep it intact.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Any other things that you've learned? I just find this interesting that you used to do that you don't do now. I love this. The not chasing, the not texting. Just interesting from women to think of.

What I don't do now. I think it would.

You've always been perfect. So perfect at dating.

Dream girl.

Yeah. I think I don't like what you were saying with your friends. That's like, I'm gonna put everything out. Like, yeah, I think that. That regardless of what it is. And like, I don't have any like, weird, freaky, like, crazy skeletons in my closet that I feel like I'm pretty much. I wear my heart on my sleeve a lot. But I think that there is a difference between, like, not being vulnerable and holding that back into yourself and not being like, oh, my God, well, this guy seems so great. And then you're getting heartbroken after two dates because it didn't go where you wanted to.

Right?

So it's like, you know, be realistic about things.

You never know why it's gonna end too. Sometimes.

You never know.

Like, you know, don't let it, like, damage your ear. We're already hard enough on ourselves, and there's, like, guys. You don't know why he didn't call. It doesn't even matter.

And there are guys that are, like, way below you that still won't be into you. It has nothing to do with that. It's just fucked up.

It's true. Okay, so, Mindy, back to you. Mindy.

Sorry, Mindy.

I feel like.

No, I think we started with the texting. Maybe she's a little too eager. Yeah. And, oh, you were married for five years, so maybe you're just kind of. And maybe have other things, I think other things going on. Take a class, do something that's interesting to you that you haven't tried in a while. Cooking class. There's single trips, all those things. But don't give up. There's nothing wrong with you. I guarantee there's nothing you're doing wrong. Okay. Hi, Emily. I love listening to the show. Thank you so much for all you do so that people can have better sex. Here's my dilemma. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. About six to eight months ago, we went through a bit of a rough patch, and we have the dreaded, mismatched libido. You talk about this all the time on the show. But in my case, I was wanting a lot more sex than my partner. I now have a lot of confidence problems in the bedroom and almost never initiate sex. It hurt to be rejected. So I adopted the mindset that he will initiate when he wants it and stopped trying to come on to him. When I was in the mood last night, he brought this up to me. Now that he's always initiating, do you have any advice for how we can get out of this rut that we're stuck in? So what she's saying here, sis, like, I wrote it.

Yeah, go for it.

On our honeymoon, my husband was like, I want you to initiate sex. More like it bothers me that you don't want to, because when he initiates, I'm like, most of the time, game, you know, like, 99.9% of the time, I'm like, oh, yeah. And we had kind of like a disagreement because I said to him, I think in general, women just. It takes us longer to figure out that what we want to do is have sex. So it's like, I don't. I'm not sitting there eating popcorn and suddenly, like, I get a boner and I want to have sex.

Exactly.

You know what I mean? He couldn't understand that. And he felt like it was like this big thing that I was like, almost like there was something wrong with me, you know? And so I had a meltdown, Full blown meltdown. And I was like, aren't you so.

Happy you married me?

I know. I'm like, here's all my crazy. He's gonna kill me, by the way. He doesn't listen to anything, so he's never gonna know. But, yeah. So I had this meltdown, and I felt, like, really insecure. And suddenly I felt like he wished that he had married a porn. And all these things came flooding in. And then finally I realized that I just had to sit. I had to be so honest with him and be like, I don't look at you and get a wet vagina.

Doesn't happen that way. No.

I look at you and I see a man that I love, someone I'm very attracted to. But, like, it's not. Like, when I'm naked in the bathroom, he's like, jump on top of me and ready to go. Like, when he's naked in the bathroom, I have a million things I'm thinking of, and it's just not that. So I was like, I'll try better. And I had to really, really try harder. And still, sometimes that wasn't enough. But he did notice.

That's good. I think it is true. We always hear that men want more sex than women, and women don't, you know, initiate. We hear from a lot of men that say, women don't initiate enough. And then this mismatch thing goes back and forth.

She wanted it, and then he didn't want it at the same time. So then she felt rejected and stopped being the one to initiate sex.

I also wrote this because I did this to Chris.

Okay. Yeah.

I literally tell me. I would be like.

And then he just stopped and, like, would wait for me. And I was like, well, if you wait for me, it's gonna be like, Six months. Like, I'm tired. Like, I'm going to bed. So it was like a whole.

It is a thing.

Because the thing is, for me, I don't realize I want to be having sex till it's like 20 minutes into the scene.

Exactly. Like, oh, actually, this is fun.

I'm having a great time. So it's like, I'm exactly the same as Becca said.

Okay.

It's just.

We're going to talk about this. This.

Give some tips. Yeah.

What do you. What do you think?

I think that something that might help with it is. And I feel like you've kind of said stuff like this in the past is maybe start it, like, earlier in the day when you're not with each other, and text him something sexy, and then maybe that can get you both in the mood and, like, kind of both on the same page.

Yep.

Where it's like, okay, well, I'm getting in the mood for sex tonight. This is going to happen.

Right? Because you got to lay the groundwork. Because the brain. The thing is, I'm with all of you. I'm talking about sex all day. It doesn't mean that I'm all day long. Like, oh, my God, you're so corny. I'm being started. No, I mean, I wish it worked like that. It doesn't. It's like an intellectual thing. But for me also, it feels like. And for a lot of women, first of all, the rejection is hard. Like, you go back and forth. I get that. But you'll get over it if you kind of just start making the moves again with. By planting seeds ahead of time. I think you're right. I think a lot of times we make requests of our partners, initiate more, and we don't even know what that means. Right. You're probably like, well, what do you mean? Like, you walk in the door and do you want me to drive to my knees and give you a blowjob? And they're probably like, yes. And you're like, well, do you mean that when we're in bed and I'm already washed my face and I'm going to bed, but you want me to surprise you? They're like, yeah. And you're like, but all that sounds horrible. Right? So I think you could get from them, like, well, how would it look to you if I initiate it? Like, when do you want sex? Get some more information from the partner that's making the requests. Because then you could be like, okay, it's more of when you get home from work. Or get like, A timing thing down that can kind of help what it would look like to them. And then I think what really works, like Jack mentioned, is plant it like later on. Like if you feel like you don't. Becca, or. Same with you, Kat. You can say tonight. All day long I've been thinking about how hot it was Saturday night when you went down on me. And I can't wait to like suck you when I see you later. And then you've already, you've already said it's gonna happen. And then you're thinking like, okay, I'm gonna suck them later when I get home or I'm gonna do whatever. And it's in your mind because for women the big disconnect is that when our brain is not on board with sex at all. Like our body is just like, what? What's happening? Yeah.

So you're like flipping the switch.

You're like, it's gonna happen, it's gonna flip it. And then you're thinking about it and then you're shaving or whatever and wearing something sexy.

No, but then my husband's sitting there on his phone, like waiting and waiting. Like if I tell him it's happening that night and then if God forbid it doesn't, it's like, oh, it's.

Don't make me promise. You can't keep girls.

You gotta commit. End of the world, you gotta commit. So I'll be like, it's 8:03. When's it happening?

When's the media?

It's literally the opposite of like when women are waiting for their engagement ring. It is like when the guy first talks about like, we're gonna get engaged, then you sit there for like the next like seven years of your life. Is it happening today? Is it happening now?

That's true.

Is it happening tonight? You want me to wear a dress?

Yeah.

Don't say something you're not gonn going to commit to.

That's true. You could be. Over the next few days. I'm really excited to within the next.

Week we will have sex.

Good luck.

It's confusing, but I'm glad you guys are talking about it. Cat also back to you, but we got to move on. But she's going to just. Just talking about this that you're going back and forth. I mean really, it's all communication as a lubrication.

Why don't you do like a 30 day sex every day, like spree?

No, because that might be scary for him if he's not as into sex as she is.

But it's kind of the rejection part that he stopped doing it. But okay, let's move on. Hey, Emily. I've been with my boyfriend for eight years and he's been my first and only sexual partner. I recently discovered he had a one night stand while being away on a business trip. I decided to give our relationship a second chance. However, sex is not the same anymore. I can't have an orgasm, nor do I feel seduced by him. Please help. I know he loves me and I love him too. I'm having a hard time enjoying sex with him. Do you have any advice so I can enjoy sex with my boyfriend again? Thank you, Rose. At 23 California, everyone's horrified, in pain, and is can relate.

I just wish he didn't tell you, man out there. If you're gonna have a one night stand in a long term relationship, go do it and just keep it to yourself because like.

And make sure she'll never find out.

Like if you want to stay with this person. If this was an oops moment and was a true oops, do not tell.

I say that too. If it's a one off thing and you still, you love your partner, you want to make it work. But she says she discovered it, so it could have been some deep diving on the cell phone.

Right.

And I just feel like it's gonna be really hard for you when someone cheats. The trust is broken and you don't just get over it. Like, I'll just. This is something that needs therapy. You gotta rebuild the trust. You can't just, you can't get out of your head. You're just thinking, he ran to the 7 11, he's not back yet. He's probably getting a blowjob in the car. Like, you just get crazy.

It consumes your entire being.

It does.

Yeah.

And so, you know, eight years. I get it, you still wanna try, Rosa, but it's gonna be hard for you. I think you need therapy. I mean, I really do think that the only way for couples to get through kind of cheating stuff, because I know couples like everything in life. When you don't deal with stuff, it doesn't just like magically go away. Like it could be like 15 years going like, well, he cheated on me 15 years ago and I haven't moved on yet. Rosa, if you want to really be with them, you're 23. My whole thing is.

Oh God.

Go on. And I've been with one guy for nine years. Right?

I mean, she. Yeah, she's. I don't know how old she was.

I also also feel like most time people cheat. It's not just like a one time thing. Yeah, because once you break the seal, it makes it really easy to continue it.

Especially if he's going on a lot of business trips.

If it was a one night stand, you don't think they'd be like texting a bunch or something? That seems sketchy.

Yes, I. I totally agree with you. I agree that you should not.

This might not be your guy.

Might not be your guy.

Dude, you're 23.

Well, see, this is the thing. I don't think that people should get married before 30. A lot of people.

I agree.

And I think that you've been with him for eight years, probably should go out and sleep with some other guys. This would be a great time.

He might suck in bed. And that's also why he can't have an orgasm. You just don't know.

Okay, Rosa. So Rosa, you're 23 years old. I think your choice here is that if you really want to stay with him and you love him, get into therapy with him or take some time off in the relationship. And I understand that it was your first love. It's really hard to get over it. First guy you've had sex with. It's not going to be easy, I promise you. But if you surround yourself with your friends, your family and just start, you know, get out there and start dating when you're ready, you can even take time off. You don't have to rush right into a relationship. But going through a breakup when you do end a relationship is a great time to learn about yourself and truly take that time. It took me. I said that for years and never did it. And I finally did it. Best thing ever.

Yep.

So important. Okay, ladies, gangers.

Gingers.

Gingers.

Lady gingers. It's my Michigan accent. Okay, you guys are successful, smart, independent, entrepreneurial, hot women in your early 30s, some in relationships, some not. But what would you think? I have a lot of listeners who are younger and you guys, your audience lady gang. I think it's a lot of young women really look up to you or all age. I know people of all ages are obsessed with your show, but I always think, like, what is different now with sex in your 30s than your 20s? Like, what would you tell your 20something self or your younger girl self about sex that you've learned now? And you're like, God, I would tell her that. I wish, I wish I knew that at 19, 20.

So many things.

I would say that I think that in my 20s I thought of myself as a. Like a toy. Not a toy is a bad word, but like, a prop for other people's pleasure.

Like sexually?

Yeah, sexually. And, like, in life, like, in your 20s, it's like a lot of my confidence came from being, like, a hot girl, you know, like wearing your hot girl outfit and, like, having wild sex with the hot guy, you know? And it's just like when you're 30, you're like, wow, like, quality of life is so much more important than being lusted after by everyone and being, like, so crazy, you know? Like, I never cared about myself or my own orgasms, my own happiness in life. You were just like, this thing for other people. That's probably why I'm so messed up.

No, I think that's really healthy.

And I see it on the Internet. Like, I see it on the Internet. I'm a real mom. Right?

You have a kid.

No, but, like, all these young girls are, like, they just put so much out there just for, like, the love and, like, attention and, like, sexual desire of the world. And it's like, you know, you can do that for fun in a place of confidence. But, like, when you're really young, it, like, messes with you a little bit.

It really does mess with you. That's true. I think it's about. It's about confidence. So you would, you know, you would have asked. You would have figured out your own body and asked for those orgasms. I like it. Okay.

So I didn't lose my virginity until I was, like, 23.

Wow.

And I didn't have sex, a lot of sex at all for, like, a couple years after that because I put so much weight on it. And then the guy that I lost my virginity to, I was like, quote, unquote, in love with. But, like, it was like a young, like, fucked up, like, masochistic kind of love. But because I put so much weight onto that, it, like, fucked me up because it wasn't good. The sex wasn't good, and he was freaking psychopath. So I think for me, as I've gotten older, I've learned that sex doesn't always have to be this, like, super serious. You have to only have sex with somebody you're in a relationship. Like, you can explore yourself with other people and, like, find out what you really want sexually and in, you know, emotionally, spiritually, whatever. And it doesn't have to be this, like, end all, be all thing with one person.

It's good. Good advice. I like it. Becca.

Mine would be.

Be careful. You're Very fertile in your 20s.

So safe sex, like, a lot of it.

Right.

But I think more than anything, don't get. I know that for me, I was really caught up in my number. Like, I didn't want to be slutty, and so I was like, you know, not that you should run around and, like, have sex with anybody and everybody, but I think that the more experience that I got, I still felt a little guilt, you know, like, there was still part of me. My mom and my sister have had sex with one man. Their husbands, their whole lives still together, all of them.

Right.

So, like, I think for me, I had to be like. Now, in hindsight, all that sex. Not that it was, like hundreds of people, but all that sex. Like, it. It got me to here, which is, like, the best sex of my life. Because I got to know my body. I got to know what I liked and didn't like. And it also really made me appreciate who I have. Cause it's someone who's really good at sex, and I know that.

Yeah, right.

I like it.

It's true. It's like soy roots, I think is what I'm saying, too. Like, they always say it's about guys, but women, it's okay. And I know the number thing.

I feel like that is the number thing.

Never talk. I always say on the show, if someone asks you, never bring it up. More, you know, more mystery, less history. Nobody's goddamn business.

Yeah, we've talked about that. Because we had a question from a virgin.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was on our show. And it's like, whether the number is zero or it's 50, it literally doesn't. It's nobody.

Nope, Exactly. Never reveal that, because. And women, double standard. You're gonna be called a slut. You're prude. Doesn't matter. Okay, that was great advice. Thank you all. Thanks. Thank you. Lady Gang. Tell me what's coming up with Lady Gang Podcast. I love it. I'm obsessed with it.

You guys are killing new episodes every Tuesday. You come out on Tuesday too, right?

Yes, Tuesday and Friday.

Yep. So when. After you finish listening to Sex with Emily, head on over to itunes and subscribe. We also have our summer lady box going on sale in mid July. And so it's gonna be filled with all kinds of treats for your staycation life. And so please go to theladygang.com to check that out. And while you're at it, follow us on Instagram heladygan.

Thanks, guys. Thank you for being here.

What's really coming up next is our orgasms we're gonna have tonight with all the treats sex with Emily's giving us.

Gonna be a good friggin time. Okay, thank you guys for being here. It's so great seeing you and also thanks everyone for listening. Remember to follow me on social media. It's all sex with Emily across the board. Subscribe to the podcast you guys. We all love people. Subscribe to the podcast. Love it. It means a lot to us. Love it. We love you. Thanks to my amazing team. Thank you to Ken, producer, Lark, Jamie and Michael and thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? You email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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