More Sex (Talk) with Emily: Special Announcement

Okay, let's be real. Confidence is sexy in and out of the bedroom. And when it comes to performance, sometimes a little support makes a big difference. So whether you're craving more stamina, fuller erections, or you're just looking to level up your pleasure game, there's a tool that's been helping people feel more empowered for years. Meet Bathmate, the world's leading hydro powered penis pump. These aren't gimmicks. They're FDA registered, backed by science and designed to give real, lasting results. At Bathmate Direct, you'll find pumps that naturally support size, strength and blood flow, helping you experience bigger, harder, more energized erections over time. And because they work with water, they're more comfortable, more effective, and way safer than traditional air pumps. With just a few minutes a day, the Bathmate hydro pump can help you increase size and girth, gradually boost confidence in and out of the bedroom, improve stamina and performance, support stronger erections through better blood flow. And the best part, it's all natural, non invasive and totally shower friendly. You can literally work out your sexual wellness while you wash your hair. It's iconic. Right now, Bathmate Direct is giving our listeners 10% off when you use code SW10@bathmate direct.com. that's Bathmate Direct. B A T H M A T E D I r e c t dot com. Use code SW10 for 10% off. So head to bathmate direct dot com, use SW10 and level up your confidence. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's bonus show is a special announcement along with some emails and sex talk because, well, that's why I'm here, right? Topics include I've got some news, and it includes me, you, and a whole lot more sex. Why talking about sex with friends can actually lead to better sex, what to do about a swinging situation gone bad, and the best couples toys to use in the bedroom. All this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com, you can also follow us on all social media. It's exwithemily across the board. Today's show, you guys, I have a special announcement for all of you. I'm here with Jamie. Hello, Producer Jamie. Hello. Hello. So here's my announcement. I'm so excited to let you all know that. But I'm going to be on Sirius XM Radio, Starz channel 109 starting on Monday, November 12th. So that's this upcoming Monday. I'm gonna be doing a show Monday through Friday. So that's like every weekday from 5 to 7 Pacific, 8 to 10 Eastern. So you guys can also, if you wanna get a free trial and check it out, you can go to sexthemily.com sxm so SiriusXM sxm. So I just wanna announce this, you guys, because I have to thank all of you for supporting the show all these years. Because for 13 years, actually I started the PODC living room and this is a dream come true. Podcast isn't going anywhere. Of course, I will always be doing the podcast. But I am so excited to be able to be on live radio every day and have a live show to just help so many more people, the audience with such a larger reach across North America. It has been a journey, you know, starting it out and trying to figure out how to actually make a living doing what I'm doing was quite a journey. And just deciding that I'm going to be the person talking about sex in the room, even 13 years ago was a lot different than now, though. Now it still can be very awkward for people. But I still, you know, I really couldn't have done any of this without all the listeners. And all of you guys, like staying on board and listening to the show and telling your friends and sending your emails and my amazing team. Thank you, Jamie. And it's just going to be really kind of like the podcast, but more sex talk, live calls, more guests, lots of tips and your emails. So I just hope you guys will check it out. And like I said, if you don't have serious already, you can go to sex with emily.comsxm and the other thing I wanna say is nothing was handed to me on this journey. A lot of it was just sticking with something that I believed in and continuing to learn along the way. And I feel like there's A lot of times that I probably should have quit. And maybe even, no, I don't think I ever wanted to quit. I have to be honest, I never really wanted to. But there was so much things pointing towards, you know, financially, I was struggling, and people weren't really listening to podcasts until a few years ago. Thank you to Cereal. Cereal was probably the podcast that launched that. I actually ran into a woman the other night. She was saying, like, if I had advice for her, she was starting out, like, in her early 20s, and she wants to be. Do some hosting and some acting. And she's like, it's just so hard. How do you keep going? And I just said, you know, if you surround yourself with really good people and you don't look at things that don't work out as failures, because there's gonna be so many of them along the way. Like, I can't tell you how much rejection I got and how many times really good things would happen. Like, I got a live radio show about six months into my podcast in 2005, which was so amazing. And I did that for, like a year. But then the station went out of business, and it flipped formats, like, in a moment's notice. And then they. I had a TV pilot they picked up, and there was just really, it seemingly, I thought, no way to make money. And I was really sort of hesitant about even figuring it out. Cause I was like, well, I'm just an artist doing a show that's gonna help people. But when I realized how important this was and how many people love the show, I kind of just had to figure out how to make a business out of it. And it scared me. And so I feel like in life or in business, when you're really scared about something or you have anxiety, sometimes it's really a message that it's what you want to be doing, and you just got to push through it. So I was telling myself, I'm not really good at business, or I can't look at numbers, or I'm just going to do the show and do what you love, the Money Will Follow, which is the first book I read after college. And I actually thought that was true. And then I thought it wasn't true, because I was like, how could I be suffering so much and not making any money? But now I look back and I'm like, oh. I actually did follow my passion. And it took. It took me a while, you guys. It wasn't until my mid-30s that I actually found the one thing that I really was passionate about. Too. So I feel like if you are starting out, no matter where you are in your life, keep searching for that one thing that gets you excited to get up in the morning. And that makes a difference. Cause with this happening and this dream really coming true, I just. I really do believe that there was a lot of odds against me, that there really isn't anything I couldn't do, I can't do. And I'm not saying it's always really easy, but it's just. You just got to keep following those dreams. And also, if you are starting something, it does help to have people with you around you. So something I realized early on, this is another thing, is that I was doing it all in my house by myself. And then I realized that, like, that's just really hard to be an entrepreneur and starting a business and starting anything. And so I found interns initially, which I still have always had a really strong intern program, and most of them I've hired. Jamie was an intern, and Sarah works for me, was an intern. And I'm just so grateful for that because I really couldn't even afford to pay people early on. And I just. To have someone there who is, again, sharing your vision and helping out can be just that thing that you need to keep you going. So, anyway, you guys, thank you for following me onto this next journey. Like I said, the podcast is still here and I can't wait to hear what you guys think about the show. If you do have SiriusXM, a lot of cars come with it for free these days. And again, we have a free trial you can check out on our site. So that's what I got for you. That's our special announcement.

So exciting. It really is.

It really is a dream. I mean, I really couldn't. I couldn't tell you guys. We've kind of known this was happening for a while. We did a test week in June and, um, I actually can't believe it. I actually had given up on this dream for not giving up on the dream of sex with Emily, but radio, because I just thought. I didn't know how that was gonna happen. Like, I thought. It just seemed like maybe there wasn't money in radio, people weren't listening, but they really. SiriusXM is such a great place for me to be.

It is us all to go. I think, like Sirius XM and just podcasts in general kind of has, like, is bringing, like, you know, keeping radio really around. Cause it is. Cause it was everyone's like, oh, radio. Like, why would you do that? When you can, you know, watch TV or you can watch movies, or you can listen to music and it's like, I don't know, there's something soothing about like driving along in your car and hearing someone talking to you, right?

There really is. Yeah.

Or when you're cleaning your house. That's when I listen to stuff is when I'm cleaning my house, I always.

Have stuff going on in the background. It's true. Podcasts or radio. And I just love that it's immediate and live. And then people can be like driving like. And what. Another thing I love is it's drive time in Los Angeles. So people are in their cars. I mean, Pacific Coast.

Yeah, we all know how terrible that is.

It's terrible. So like, if you're like in la, you're like, actually, what would Emily think about this weird thing that happened to me last night? Or this thing, you know, that I want, or a date I had or something I wanted to change in my relationship? Because I feel like if people are driving in their cars or even if you're just listening on their app, which I love, I actually listen on their app, is that you could just be thinking you could actually change your life at night. You'd be like, what do I want to do about this? Then when you get home, have that talk with your partner. Masturbator. Do whatever you need to do. Little inspiration. Every day, 10 hours a week.

Why not?

Exactly. It's gonna be fun. So it's on Stars 109. Okay, should we get into sex in the news?

I think so.

Okay. I loved this because there was a study that came out and I was kind of like, yeah, of course. Women's sexual communication with their female friends is linked to their sexual health and well being. So the study says that women who talk to their female friends about sex tend to have higher levels of sexual self efficacy and self esteem, according to a new research published by the Journal of Sexual Health. And I thought about this because my very first sex talks was with my girlfriends. I mean, part a lot of this journey that I'm on with sex was because I wasn't having great sex. And I remember in college saying to my girlfriends one day who are still like my closest four best girlfriends, and I was like, you guys, what is the deal with sex? Like, my boyfriend was coming in from another school every day. It was like freshman year or sophomore year and. And we would just be having sex. He'd be like pounding away like jackhammer. I didn't know not to do the Jackhammer. I didn't tell him. I didn't know. But I wasn't having orgasms, as we all know. If you've been listening, I was a late bloomer on that, that thing. And I just. They were like, well, don't you masturbate, Emily? Or orgasms? And I was like, no. And then they, we were all on this mission. They were like, well, this is how it works. And this is, you know, I just hearing their experiences and feeling like my first out of the gate. My friends were so open and warm about it. Just really until this day, I'm always talking to my friends. I'm always that one talking to my friends about sex. And I do believe in their talking back to me. I think it's, it makes sense that it would help women with make healthier sexual decisions about partners consent. So sexual self efficacy means that women basically, if they have higher efficacy, they. Women are feeling like, yeah, I'm. I trust myself, I trust that I can find good partners, you know, that are, that are good to me, that I can ask for what I want in bed, that I can have sex, sexual practice, sexual consent. They also have higher self esteem so they feel better about themselves. So just knowing that you're not alone and others are going through similar things. And I think also that the other thing is if you like. I feel like most of my friends, we go into these categories, we do talk about sex, but not all of them. And some other women I talked to are like, God, I don't talk to anyone but you. None of my other friends talk about sex. But I feel like I bet if you venture into this territory with your friends, if you be the one that brings it up, you're like, I wonder what my friends are doing in the bedroom. Or I wonder how they could be supportive or what I could learn from them. Be that friend. Be the one who brings it up. I mean, Jamie, you were that one with your friends.

I am that one. You still are.

You must be more.

So like it's interesting because. And I've actually just started really thinking about this in like a perspective away from myself. But, but I really am the one that brings up sex. Like I'm the one. I'm like, we're talking about it. I'm talking about like what I did that was new. I'm talking about something I learned at work. I'm talking about all these. And even before I worked here, like I was always like asking questions about like. Cause I had a lot of guy friends and I was just like so what is it? So tell me about a blowjob. Like, what makes a good blowjob to you? Just because I thought it was interesting. But I'm like, no one is bringing up that conversation to me except for I have one other friend that's just down all the time to talk about it. So it's just very interesting. But they never shy away from it. They're always like, yeah, cool, let's talk about it. But I do realize that they don't really bring it up on their own.

Right. They're not like having side conversations.

I'm sure they are, but they're just not as in detail. I'm very like, no, let's get down to this.

Right? I wonder. It's. Yeah, right. And I think they probably appreciate that. And my friends now are sometimes like, saving up the questions for when they. For when they see me. But I, you know, I wasn't like this always. I was not born this way. So I feel like for people, you.

Know, you can learn to be this way.

You can learn to be this way. And I feel like, you guys, we don't shy away talking about what we had for dinner last night or the workout we had at the gym. I mean, sex is the same thing. We're all sexual beings. So I feel like we can talk about it now. I think it's interesting what happens to men who talk about sex with their partner. It's just there is no study that has come out. But I think that men could also benefit from talking to each other.

They could, but I feel like they don't get into it like women do.

No, I feel like they don't. I feel like they're like, yeah, it was really hot. Or I had sex, or I didn't have sex. Either I had it or I didn't, or it was hot. It wasn't, but we're like, granular.

Yeah. Like, we get into it and it's not even like, I don't know, it's just, it's. It's just also more. I think we do that so that we can kind of understand it better and break it down with our friends. So our friends are like, oh, okay. Like, yeah, I could see why that happened. Or like, oh, okay, that was interesting. I wonder if that's going to feel good to me if I try that or something like that.

Right.

I feel like a guy would only get into somewhat detail of something really wrong happened. Like, oh, my God, like her parents walked in or like, you know, her roommate, like, condom broken, broke or like, she's like. She let me put it in her butt.

Right? Like that's it. Like highlights.

Yeah.

Right. So I just think we would all. I mean. Yeah. Come on. So, guys, be that guy in your group, too. I think this is for everybody. I'm assuming that men who have healthy relationships with guys could also benefit from these kind of conversations. Okay, let's talk about some more sex then. We're getting into your emails. Morning sex. Good for your health. It is. And here's how to make it happen. So I hear from a lot of people there is no time for sex. I get it. You've got kids, jobs, life, families. But what about just setting the alarm in the morning 20 minutes earlier? Then you start your day off with sex. So I think, you know, this is just an opportunity. Thinking about why, because this study actually says that morning sex is actually good for your health. That it doesn't have to be a huge thing. It doesn't have to be like a whole ordeal as long as you're both getting pleasure from it. So I think morning sex. Great. Great for random acts of oral.

Random acts of oral.

Would you guys buy that T shirt if I bought a random acts of oral T shirt?

Yeah, we had a Twitter poll and people want it, so.

They did. They do, right? Okay, guys, we're going to make T shirts. What was my other new T shirt I wanted to get? Vagina is the new kale.

I don't like kale.

Jamie doesn't like kale.

I don't.

I know a lot of guys are like, well, what if I don't like kale? I'm like, but it's good for you and you should eat it. So isn't that good?

But I eat spinach.

I know that's good. Kale is controversial. It is. Or, okay, here's my new mantra. This is my other T shirt I came up with. On the way to talking to you guys about morning sex, I was thinking my new thing that I'm trying to do in the morning is meditate, masturbate, and manifest. So I like to meditate, like, right when I get up, if I can, and then masturbating in the morning and then manifesting. And by manifesting, I mean think about three things you want to accomplish that day or picture your day. I mean, whenever I do do this, I visualize something. Like, a lot of times at the end of my meditation, I have, like, a few minutes where I just think about the day ahead. And there's an amazing power in either writing it down or visualizing it. Like, if you're nervous about something and you're like, well, how do I want it to go? Or how do I want to feel at the end of that speech or that meeting or that show? Or picture yourself, like, how it feels when it's happening or how you're standing. Like, the more you can visualize something and how it, like, looks, feels, smells, tastes, sound, you know, and what your goals are for it, it can actually. The manifestation part actually can help. And bigger than smaller scale, you could be manifesting for the day or manifesting for your life. So would you buy a meditate, masturbate, or manifest T shirt?

I would definitely buy that. I think a lot of people would buy that. I only do one of those things in the morning. Ooh, I just masturbate.

Oh, wait, I knew that. I know you're not a meditator.

I should, though. I think I should start.

I know.

Trying to do it, but it's like, I don't know.

You don't know how? Maybe you haven't done it. Meditation.

Oh, yeah, no, I've done.

I had to study. Like, I had to go do silent 10 days of silence years ago. But you could just get one of these apps that are awesome.

I should. I should do that.

Okay. On the list, put out of the list of all the things you have to do in the morning. Even if you do one of those, you're good. But the thing about masturbation in the morning is it actually is good for your health. So I'm saying this whole thing about sex in the morning could just be masturbation in the morning. So here's some of the benefits to it. Start your day off in a better mood and less stress. Sex has been proven to reduce stress because you're releasing all those feel good hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, which can help you bond with your partner. But also orgasm releases that if you're alone, so your day can start, you'll feel calmer, more relaxed, feeling connected to yourself, your partner, hormones, you guys. In the morning. For men and for women, they are working in your favor. Testosterone's higher, which is linked to your sex drive. Like your morning wood, your morning boner doesn't mean that you're horny. Just means that your testosterone is higher in the morning, so might as well use it, right? For women, estrogen is higher, also linked to sex drive. So biologically, it just works in your favor. And then you're not thinking, like, I hope we have time for Sex tonight. You kind of just. The more stuff you could knock out in the morning. All these people who talk about like all the friggin self help gurus or whatever they are, he's like do make your bed in the morning, do everything. It's all about the morning.

It is.

Except for I'm not exactly a morning person.

Me neither. I want to so be that person that works out in the morning. Like gets up at like 6:30 or 7am and like I just, my body's like you're waking up at 8 and that's the time.

I know, but the reason why I've had such a hard time with it is because I used to be like the older I get, the better I was. That's my favorite thing to say lately because I feel like I used to get up really early and. But now it just. Yeah, I can't. It's eight, I'm an eight, 8:30 person. But whatever if more if you are a morning person. A lot of studies I've read around habits forming that if you just. Let's say you want to work out. If they say if you just do one push up or two push ups in the morning, like right after you do something that you already know you do like brush your teeth. If you do that every morning, you add like one task for like a week. Like just two push ups. So you meditate for two minutes. That's how you build habits.

Oh, that's cool.

I could have a whole other show called have It Forming with Emily. Not that I've been as successful with it, but I know all the ways to do it. Just like organization. I'm not that organized but I could tell you guys how to be organized. Sex I do know. So not to worry. Okay. It's also a good workout. It's not P90X in the morning having sex, unless you're into that. You're still somewhat doing somewhat of a fasting workout. You might burn a few calories if you haven't worked out, but it can make you feel more energetic throughout the day. And I know you're thinking, well I always want to go to sleep after sex, but just get up, jump in the shower and you will feel that energy. Research shows sex makes you look younger. Orgasm produces more estrogen, good for your skin. God, that's a good incentive everyone.

That's why I do it in the morning. If I feel like I'm not looking very like sprightly, I like masturbate a little bit and then I look in the mirror. And I'm full of color.

It's true. It's so true. I just feel relaxed. All my anxiety goes down. Your blood flow's increased as well as DHEA levels, which are an anti aging hormone, which is true. DHEA is an important hormone. And you have a nice natural glow like Jamie. So look at the mirror. After having sex, your complexion looks better. And so if any of this grabs you at morning sex, I think it's important. I think Jamie's gonna add some. I should actually masturbate more in the morning, too. Like I'm saying, I haven't.

So. Okay, so you start masturbating and I'll start meditating.

I'm more meditating and manifesting than I masturbating, but lately I've been trying to. Yeah, let's just keep each other accountable here. Okay, that's great. Okay, so now we can get onto your emails. All right. Okay, guys, we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back.

Okay, guys, that was sex in the news. Let's get onto your emails now. I love answering your questions. It's why I do what I do. If you want a question answered on the show, you can tell. Go to our website, sexthelmy.com, click the Ask Emily tab. Include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. First email. This is from Dave, 30, in Canada. Hey, Emily. About a year ago, my girlfriend expressed interest in wanting to try swinging, telling me the idea of watching me sleep with another woman turned her on due to previous jealousy issues on her end. I was skeptical and made sure that we spent some time discussing anything and everything we could think of, as well as attending swinger parties and talking to people and lifestyle. We went out with a couple, we drank too much, ended up back at our place and started to soft swap. I left the room and started to get sick. She kept going and told me that our hard rules were broken while I was blacking out. When we talked about it, she just tried to justify it as we were all pretty drunk. I'm not sure how to get over this. We've been together for seven years. I'm super analytical. I just want to know why. But anytime I try to bring it up, she gets upset that I end up consoling her and not getting any closure on my end. Should I just shrug it off as a drunken mistake? Dave, this is an interesting conundrum you got yourself into here. You know, I, you know, my first thing is like, I get it, like I understand guys like you or people like you, like, your brain just like, it doesn't compute. Everything doesn't stack up. She had jealousy issues, and then she had liquid courage, and this all went through that night. So I'm just trying to figure out which part of it is upsetting to you. Like, is it more that she got drunk and broke the rules? Is that she slept with someone else? Is there other times in your relationship where she does drink too much and if other things happened. So I just want to say that because, you know, if you do do this again and this, everyone listening, you know, getting blackout drunk and having sex is just. Especially if you're going to be swinging and opening up your relationship and breaking through some boundaries or testing new boundaries, just not great. So anytime someone does something wrong in a relationship or anytime alcohol, like, you can't just plead, I was wasted. Right? I mean, it's a tough excuse because in a sense, we've all been drunk and done things we regret.

Right?

Big and small. So I get it. But it's never been okay to say, sorry, I was drunk. So I do think you're gonna get past this. But I'm just wondering, like, why won't she talk about it? Is because she's embarrassed and she feels bad? Is it cause she actually.

Just really, like, liked it and doesn't want to do it again? Is she like. I just. I'm not sure why she wouldn't. But maybe you guys don't. You know, this would be a great time for you guys to practice really good communication skills about things other than just sex, but about, you know, if you guys have been together seven years, like, I would like her to show some compassion here for your feelings, too, about how it feels to have those boundaries, you know, broken. And, you know, let her know that you're not actually bringing it up to get mad at her, but you want to understand. And maybe both of you, and maybe this isn't just like a back and forth that maybe you both together needed to figure out where to go next. Are you going to keep swapping?

Yeah. And like, they both got really drunk, too. So it's kind of like maybe there should have been some kind of word or like, you know, a safe word in a sense, but kind of like, okay, like, we're too drunk for this to be happening because I'm picturing him being sick in the other room. And then. And, you know, she could have just been really drunk and been like, oh, he's somewhere and he'll be back. And Then just going through with it. But at the same time, I feel like I would be more upset that I'm like, you didn't check on me when I was sick.

Yeah.

And you just continue to hook up with these people and then break all of the rules that we set out for.

Yeah, no, that's a good point. Right.

So I think maybe don't swap for a while.

And yeah, I think you guys got some healing. Yeah, you've got some healing to do here because, yeah, we're. But if you're. But sometimes, you know, when people drink so much, they can't really. They're not making the best decisions. But you're right that. That feels hurtful. And I guess it's okay to let her know how it made you feel. Not that you're, you know, kind of like, don't angry, but let her know.

Yeah. Like, just kind of be like, look like, I don't want you to, like, get defensive and cry or anything. I'm just letting you know, like, this didn't feel good to me. So how do we prevent this?

Right. Cause I don't want her just to shut down about your sex life. Like, I think you guys need to continue to. To talk. So she's got to open it up. And I think you guys will learn a lot more about each other and see where you want to take this next. Our next email is from Errol23 in New Jersey. Hey, Emily, Jamie and team. First of all, I'm obsessed with your show. I listen on my commute to and from work, and I have to say, it's a strange yet invigorating feeling. Becoming all hot and bothered on the train. I love that. Anyway, I'm wondering your recommendation on the best couples toy. I don't have the easiest time orgasm during vaginal sex. Usually I only can while using a vibrator ring. A vibrating ring that provides constant pressure vibration on my clit. My boyfriend is super open to trying all toys, so any recommendations would be amazing. God, I love help people with sex toys.

Mm.

I wish I could be like, who's the woman who go to like. Like Mary Kay cosmetics? Like, when was that? Like, back in the 70s or whatever. Like, I could. I know they have these parties, but I'd love just to be able to help everyone. Like. Like, this is what you need. I will match you up with toys.

Right? Like a. Like a dating game, but with like, vibrators.

Yes. Here's the vibrator that's right for you. So the we vibe sync or the We Vibe actually was invented as a couple's toy. Like, the original We Vibe is the. Another latest one is the Sink. It's a couple's toy that you wear during sex. And so you might really like that one.

The. The Dame Eva 2 is another one that's a wearable vibe. And then the mystery vibe. Crescendo. That's a good one, too, Jame. Right. We got those. You could bend it into a million different shapes.

Well, that's why I like that one, because it can be so many different toys at once, and there's so many different motors in it. And it's, like, similar. Like, it has an app that you can use it with, which is really cool because there are so many different motors. But you could use. That one could be fun because you could use that, like. So you can never use it the same way twice almost, if you wanted to.

Yeah, Yeah. I just found that when I was going through all my toys. It has a different. Yeah, it's like. It looks like one of those. Did you those.

Those snap bracelets?

Snap bracelet? It's like a snap bracelet, but it's like. Looks like a ruler, but it, like, snaps. So you could, like, you could just curl it into any shape you want. Also, you said you used it a ring during sex. I'm wondering which one, because I do love the pivot ring. Because I feel like the pivot is a great ring, but also I like it as a clitoral vibe. I like it, you know, as a twofer. The mimic. The mimic by Clandestine can lay in your stomach. I like this one. It's a little butterfly. And have it on your clit while he enters you from behind. Most women actually can't orgasm during vaginal intercourse. Pv. So we need something extra. You need your hands, you need a vibrator, something extra. So use lots of lube. Make sure that, you know, maybe a little oral before. And any of these sex toys are great.

Yeah. I think people just forget to, like.

Sometimes for me, because it is sometimes hard to stimulate your clitoris while you're having sex, depending on the angle that you're in. I like to pull up on my, like, pubic mound because it kind of makes your clit come out more than you can stimulate it that way.

That's true. Pull it up, adjust it. See what the best position is for you. I'm always learning, too, you guys. You're never. You're never really done. So every time you have sex, just try to, like.

Mental notes.

Yeah. A little positioning. Right? Okay. So have Fun with those. And always use lots of lube with those toys and with every kind of sex. Okay. Kyle, 31, Texas. Jamie, you want to read this one?

Yes. Hi, Emily. My soon to be fiance and I have great sex, but we're experiencing issues with birth control. She's on birth control, but we also use condoms just to be safe, but we can't find a condom that's comfortable for the both of us. Extra careful. I like them. She's allergic to latex and I'm too big for every non latex condom we tried. Even getting it on and off is a painful experience for me. For her, the pain from sex can be pretty severe at best. We have sex. We can have sex once every other day because she gets sore. And we use plenty of lube to make sex less painful. We consider it a vasectomy for me because our ultimate goal is to adopt. Oh, that's cute. But are hesitant. While I know this sounds like a BS problem and actually limits the amount of sex we'd like to have, do you have a few suggestions for non latex condoms to try or alternatives to make sure we're still safe? Thanks so much. We love the show.

Wow. Yeah. This is a good question. I totally. It is not a BS problem. Like I've often said in the show that we've heard more. We get more questions from listeners about penises being too large than being too small. So hopefully there's a lot of men listening. There's a huge sigh of relief there because all of your penis insecurities.

Are not really necessary, I'm telling you. So yeah, if you. How long have they been together here? So if they. It's your fiance. So if really, really. If she's on birth control pill, you don't have to really worry about condoms if you guys are faithful and you're not worried about STIs, STDs. So if you guys have gotten tested, you should be fine and not have to worry about condoms. My favorite non latex condoms are skin condoms and they do make the king K Y N G just like Skyn. So they make large condoms and they are non latex and you put a few couple drops of lube on the inside of the condom. That can also help. I love dental dams. Dental dams are coming back too. Like that woman who's making the dental dam. Yeah, Laurels.

They're not out yet, but they're like almost out. And they're great. I think it's a great idea. It's like a latex underwear Underwear.

Right. Which is hot, I think, because it actually feels good. No one ever really uses dental dams that much, but I feel like it's kind of like the same material. Like, it can be latex or non latex, and you just put it over her vulva. And then you could also, you know, go down on her. There's also the female condom, which I don't have a lot of experience with that, but there is a female condom. And so her pain from sex could be a separate issue. So I think this is something that she could talk to her doctor about or see a pelvic physical therapist. Like, we had a great show with Heather Jeffcoat a few months ago. So it could be an overactive pelvic floor. I'm not sure if she's always had pain, but it's very common. 80% of women have had pain at some point in their lives. And I'm glad that she's not normalizing it, but I. Because she's clearly having pain. But I think it's important to talk to a doctor and see what that's all about.

I'm glad that you guys are aware of it. And at least using lube.

Yes.

To try to lessen it, but it seems like it is a kind of a separate problem.

Yeah, that might be a separate problem. And you just remember. Yeah, you gotta go. Go slow. Make sure you're both. Really. The more turned on she is, the easier could be to enter. She's aroused.

I do want to say, though, I just think it's adorable that you guys are, like, planning on adopting.

I know.

That's really sweet.

I do, too. I do, too. I think that's really sweet. I love it. There's a lot of kids out there who need homes. Babies. All right. This is from another Kyle. You have a lot of Kyle's. I feel like over the last few years, Kyle's have gone up.

Which is funny because I don't think I've ever. I've only met probably one Kyle in my life.

Yeah, same. They're all listening to the show, though.

Don't know.

I haven't met any either. Okay. Dear Emily, my wife and I have been married for 11 years now and have an excellent sex life, but have been slowly exploring new things. Love it. I suggested anal to her, and she was a little unsure. The question I had for you is about, after having four kids, she has hemorrhoids. And I was just wondering if you had a tip for that or should I just forget about doing it? Thanks. And I love the show. Okay, Ouch. I read that. No, no, no, no. You cannot have analog sex when she has hemorrhoids. So I just want to make sure that she is getting treated for her hemorrhoids and make sure that she's fully healed. I mean, even if she has chronic hemorrhoids, if this is happening, I don't know how old your kids are now.

Then you just can't. Because the more you have anal sex, the more agitated it's going to be. They're going to become more irritated and will take longer for her to heal. So I think you got to spice things up in a different way. I mean, she could still. I was gonna say she could still use a butt plug or something, but you really, you gotta be careful in that area. Cause it's so easy to get them irritated. Maybe she could do anal on you, Kyle.

That could be a thing.

Have you ever wanted any kind of prostate play that could be very exciting for you. Talking dirty, dressing up, having sex in different locations until she cures those hemorrhoids.

You can like put a blindfold on and just like tell like she'll just be like, you're in my butt. But not really, right? Exactly. I don't think that would work.

That wouldn't work, right? Get like a robot bump. Don't listen to me. Get a flashlight.

No, I'm not the expert.

No, no, no, no. But yeah, I think you want to wait because you won't know. And you have four kids. I love you guys. Really. I think you guys, I love that you want to spice it up, but there's so much to do though. I'm sure there's a lot more you've done. Get my book. Hot sex. It's a great tool. I think it's. If you guys are. Just want to leave it by the bed or hide it from the kids though. You want to put it under your mattress or something. But you open up to any page and it's got a lot of ideas that you can look at and be like, oh, we could try this tonight. We could try that tonight. I'm all for spicing it up, but let's hold out on the anal. Alright, that's what we've got time for today. This is a little bonus show because I wanted to thank everybody for supporting the show and to tell you about. It's just very surreal that this is happening, that the show's gonna be on SiriusXM and I think it's gonna make it for a better podcast too because the more. I know in the past when I've done live radio often and you're doing it every day, it just, it feels so good and I feel like it's gonna be like a new energy and a new life. The show will still be here, the podcast is still around, but I'm just excited and grateful to all of you and I have such amazing team. Thank you Jamie.

Thank you for this like whole journey that I've been allowed to be a part of.

I'm glad you're here. Thank you. Thank you to my amazing team. Ken, Sarah. What up Sarah? Producer, Jamie and Michael everyone. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger, and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.com sex with Emily for 50 off and here's a bonus Use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q U A l I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.