Morning Sex & Return of the Ex

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you Got a boyfriend, cuz?

My man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's got to have her standard.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show. You should check out everything we're doing@sexemily.com because it's awesome. We got great blogs and posts and everything up there to help you have better sex. We love when you comment, subscribe wherever you listen to the show. On itunes, Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadio. God, there's so many places listen to podcasts now. If that's not enough, we are on SiriusXM Radio Stars channel 109 Monday through Friday, 5 to 7pm Pacific, which has been a blast. If you want a free 30 day trial, go to sexthelmy.comsxm but you guys can still call us. We don't care. Call us 889-478277. We are there five days a week as always. Follow us on all social media exwithemily and Happy masturbation month. We are doing a contest all month long, so all you gotta do is this. Email me feedbackexwithemily.com subject line Masturbation routine. Tell us how you're gonna switch up your masturbation routine and how you think it's gonna improve your sex life this month. Because I promise you one thing different will improve your sex life overall. And you have till May 31 for a super special sexy sexy prize. You know we're gonna be giving away some good ones on social media. We're also doing contests, so check us out. Exwithemily everywhere. Okay guys, hope you enjoy the show. I have some tips to make sex a little bit easier, to maybe kind of inspire you guys to have more sex. And because I'm gonna be honest, if you are with somebody for a while and even if with your goddamn self, sometimes you just forget sex slips off the radar. You want to get back to sex, it doesn't happen. But there's been a lot of good reasons, a lot of good research, and I know this to be true, that there's that morning sex for the win. Okay? A Lot of people kind of think, you know, we don't have enough time or we're not gonna, you know, we just. I'm too tired in the morning or. People often say we don't have time for sex. And I say set your alarm 10 minutes earlier or 40 minutes earlier. Because women take between 20 and 40 minutes orgasm and men take between eight minutes.

I challenge that. What do you think, 20 to 40? 20 to 40. Because there's like certain touches that they're probably not getting right.

We could speed that up in no time. If people listen. If everybody on the planet listened to this show, you would understand how the reason that's happening is because a lot of women, unbeknownst to them and their partners or, and, or either one, that they require some warmup, some touching, some foreplay, some, some, some clitoral action, activate the clit, do all that stuff. So if that doesn't happen, it's gonna take a lot longer. Yes, so that's a good point. There's been a lot of studies lately about morning everything, morning routines. I'm actually reading this book right now. Has anyone done this? You can call in if you'd like. It's called the Morning Miracle. I'm all for new trying new things. I've tried everything and this and I think stick, you know, I think it's like every self help or whatever you try in your life routines, like I've been meditating for 20 years, but I'm always into learning new ways to do it. So this Morning Miracle you like state it's about waking up. This is the only problem before 8am every day. I think it's just the point of getting things done in the morning before you do stuff. And there's like six things, like meditate, write in your journal, like six things. And it's pretty cool. And I've tried it for a few days, so I'm gonna fill you all in on it. So it makes sense that having sex in the morning can really alter your day. Like it can. It can keep you upbeat for the rest of the day. Having sex in the morning releases oxytocin also, which is known as the cuddle hormone. And that simply just makes you feel more connected to your partner. And then that feeling of having connected with your partner stays with you throughout the day. It's kind of an easy fix. Like if you think about it, if you've been feeling disconnected, which is very common, sometimes we mistake connection with our partner for we think, God, we need more intercourse or we need more touching. But it's all one thing in a sense. So if you could just find ways to connect, whether it's in the morning or at night, or knock out some, even if you can't have the orgasm, you could both mutually masturbate in the morning. But having that, that will connect you too. So. And then when you. I think what happens is you forget that you're not connect. You just feel bad. Like, I know this happens a lot. This is like, I have friends call me and I have to remind them this, like, oh, I'm so mad at my husband. Or I feel like things are so bad. I'm like, when was that time you had sex? And they're like, oh, you're right. It's been like two weeks. Or it's been a week. And they're like, oh, we had sex. They feel so much better. So we know a lot of people call us every night at 888, 947 8277. And there's a lot of other things going on in their life. Like, I think it's sex. I think it's that. But when you really make the effort, like, I guarantee you, if you're like, I'm mad at my partner, I haven't felt like it. But if you decide to set the alarm a few minutes earlier, even tomorrow morning, and have sex, maybe you do it Sunday, too. Do it a few days in a row. See how it feels having morning sex, morning orgasms. Jamie likes to masturbate in the morning and knock it out. And at night, I do both. That's good. It's good for sleep, too. I'm not gonna knock it. When you knock it off. When you knock it out, Anyone. But I'm just saying this might be an incentive.

And I think also the other thing is a lot of you delay sex. You think, oh, well, we'll do it after we go out on our date. We'll do it after dinner. But then there's pressure. Especially if you eat a big meal and you're out drinking, and then you're like, oh, God, tonight's our date night. We should have sex. If you already did everything in the morning, like what this book says, and everything else in life says, get it done in the morning. Workouts. They always say workout in the morning. Because if you delay, like, do it after work. Like, most of the time, you're not going to get it done. So the same goes for your sex life. If you've been thinking, why are we having sex? If you know that you can wake up earlier. You can do it 20 minutes, and you won't feel that pressure. So this is another benefit for sex. If you get it, if you do it in the morning. And I just think that it's like, there's something about the morning sex, too, when you're, like, with your partner and the light's shining in and you're both, like, you know, it's like, it's a way to start the day and you're connected. You can even have, like, spooning. Sex is really easy to have in the morning. Just kind of cuddle up to your partner.

I love morning oral.

Yes. Random acts of morning oral.

Yes.

We were gonna do our random acts of oral T shirt, but random acts of morning oral could be, like, a sub T shirt. But, yeah, random acts of morning oral is a great idea. Set your own alarm. Yeah. So when you wake up, someone's going down on you. Yeah, I've had that. Not enough.

Not enough.

I've definitely put that in your dating profile.

Really? Fan of morning oral. I don't know.

I would get a lot of responses from people and people. I don't want to talk.

No, I am kidding. Don't do that in your dating profile. I'm just all about dating profiles.

I know, but that would be cool if there was an app where it was like, more. Yes, let's evolved people.

Exactly. Who weren't like, oh, my God, she talked about sex in her profile. Which. Yeah, exactly. And you. Okay, so here's the other thing.

You.

You guys can also shower together in the morning. I'm telling you guys why I love the shower sex. Like, because we know all these ways to hack it, too. We've got a little shower vibe. And. But if you guys are both showering anyway, maybe you have kids. Because we have people with kids. They're like, oh, the kids come in, take a shower together. And then the best thing is. Here's my favorite, best water sex position is you bend over while they enter you from behind. And then you could, like, you avoid slipping and falling. You could hold onto a wall or shower door or put down your rubber mats. Or you could also grab your hands if you're flexible around your ankles to keep you from falling over. I think people forget to just have sex at the park. It's fun in the morning.

Well, it is. And then you're like, you already wake up. If you're laying next to them, you're already in bed too. Or, like, if you're going to the shower, like you said, you're already in the same vicinity.

I think we're just. Also, we wake up and we. I don't know, we're thinking about the day and we want to get going. At least that's how I am. But I feel like if it becomes a habit with your partner, like, or at least two times a week, you're gonna have morning sex. What do you guys think of this? Have you tried morning sex and you don't like it? You do like it. What's your favorite time of day? Because.

It can be okay at night too. It can help you sleep. So we're getting to that in a minute. But call us with anything. Triple 894-78277.

I like that it says here you also have an excuse to be lazy.

Yeah.

It doesn't have to be like this crazy sex.

That's true. It doesn't have to be like, crazy marathon. Like, you know, we're gonna do this whole, like, swinging from the rafters thing. Like, you could just spoon or doggy style. Doggy style is good in the morning, too, when you just roll over on your stomach. Like, my doggy style in the past has been like, stomach doggy style. Like, you know, more flat. And I like that. So I don't. I can just roll over and be like, do it. Yeah, yeah. And you can still touch yourself. There are alternatives to how you're having sex right now. Just so you know, I don't think that people.

It's so true.

It's so true.

Like, people don't know.

You don't. And I get it. No one told you. You're like, do one way. There are so many hacks to how you are having sex. Or alternate ways to alternative ways to, like, even do doggy style. You know, just not on your four knees, hands and knees. But it could be like you lying flat on your stomach, putting a pillow underneath you.

It's so comfortable that way.

It is very comfortable. Just have a lot of pillows on your bed. Yeah. The. The. The. The. The doggy style hack. There's a lot of hacks. My book has hot sex has some good positions in there.

It keeps you healthy. You guys, here's the thing. And this is morning sex strengthens your immune system and it boosts your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection. Orgasm does, too. Like, for women. Like, it helps us with pms. It's healing for you to have orgasms. This is also all the things we're saying here goes for masturbation too. And apparently your partner can last Longer testosterone levels are higher in the morning. The penis had a chance to recharge from sleeping. It wakes up yawning, happy. Like, I just pictured, like, a penis going, oh, good morning.

That's interesting.

Yeah, exactly. So. So obviously, they're, like, more horny when they wake up, but higher testosterone, more energy during sex, so maybe last a little longer in the morning. And I think more people are doing it than you think, for sure.

And I think people prefer to make it have sex in the morning. And I think that what happens is they forget or they never talk about it, or one person doesn't like it. So then they decide for the next 10 years they're never gonna do it, but they don't revisit it. So here's the other challenge around sex. When, like, there are alternatives. Most of us are very set in our ways. Like, we have sex in the same exact way every single time since we've had sex, since the beginning of our sexual history. A lot of people, it doesn't change. It doesn't shift. Like, Like, I remember talking to a guy, and he said to me, you know, I had sex with a girl when I was 24, and then again when I was. I think I was, like, 35 at the time. He's like, when I was 35. And it was interesting because it had been, like, 10 years, but, like, she gave me a blowjob then. I guess guys remember these very specific details. He's like, she gave me a blowjob then, and then she gave me one ten years later. And it was the same exact blowjob. Like, the way her hand moved and the way her mouth. And he goes. And I remembered it. It was very specific, and nothing had been. And he goes. And it was good. It just. I'm like, I wonder. Every time she has a penis in her mouth, she does the same thing. And I thought, you know, it's kind of like high school. I remember once, like, did a show about this, like, high school sex. High school sex still happens in the sense of. I think that we are doing a lot of the. We don't think to, like, how can we do it differently? How can we. Like, how can we give a blowjob differently? How can we have a sex position differently? This one, like, you think you don't like gaggy style. You think you don't like, one time, because it wasn't great or anything, but. Or a missionary, but there's, like, hacks on all of it.

Yeah, you just change up your angles. I'm trying to Think too. Like I guess cuz this I had sex with the next. And I literally told him because he started like massaging my shoulders and stuff and all this. I was like, you still have the same move when we first. First ever hooked up.

Yep.

And he was like, but it's a good move.

It worked.

And I was like, I mean, touche.

Right.

But what else could work? And think of all the women where maybe they didn't wanna be touched right away and then he touched their shoulder and then they turned away. But since we don't know how to communicate and say, you know what? Not right now, I'm not ready to touch yet. But I'm happy to make out with you or something. I don't know. Like some people don't want touch first.

Yeah.

And we prematurely touch people. And what you have to learn is if that happens. This made me think through that whole thing. Is that like he's probably been doing that forever.

Yeah.

What happened?

Keep talking, keep talking. You're good.

Oh my God. The premature. The touching thing. Yeah. I mean, I think that we don't know what we don't know. And what I'm trying to tell you is all the things you don't know. I tell you that most of you don't know anything about sex. Most people don't. And that's okay. And that's why I'm here. But I think when most of us don't know a damn thing, that's why.

I'm trying to think. If I give like first time blowjobs the same.

I know I'm probably to die.

I just actually grabbed. There was the tickle.

Tickle. The pickle. Yeah. What was that book? Tickle is pickle.

I just took that to grab some tips because I felt like I was.

Doing it the same way every single time.

I knew some tricks because like I've asked my friends. But then I was, I was, I was taking a little sneak peek at it and I was like I really like this and the illustrations and it's.

A nice quick Sadie Allison. Awesome. We love Sadie. And she. This book was classic. She wrote it years ago. It's like it is a great refresher course. Like if you are wondering what's some hacks for a blowjob or a hand job or something, you have to check out this book. Cause I just opened it and I'd be like, I remember when I first got it 10 years ago, I just started the show or 15 years ago and I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. And he was like. And I did something. And I've talked about this before. I can't remember which tip it was. It was something with the balls or my finger. And then he's like. Like I'd been giving him a blowdown for years. What did you just do? What? I'm like, just nothing. What do you mean? You know, I don't know. I probably told him, but I was like, oh, this thing with the hand and the thumb. But like, we. Again, that's just one example. There's like, you know, we tell you about the Kibben method for oral. Like, I love. And we also on our website, have a bazillion tips at sex with emily.com. so, you know, that's what we're here for. All right, we're going to take a quick break and we come back. We're going to get into your calls.

We're gonna talk to Brenda. Brenda is 40 in California, and she's thinking about getting back with her old boyfriend, Brenda from 15 years ago.

Oh, Brenda. Gosh, I need to know every single detail. Thanks for calling.

Hello, lady.

Hi.

So I've stayed friends with this guy, but we dated actually more than 15 years ago. And you know, we were intimate then and we ended up breaking up because he cheated on me and went our separate ways. But we stayed somewhat connected because we have mutual friends.

And maybe like in the last year, year and a half, we've reconnected as friends, but lately it's getting flirty again and we've made out a couple times and I'm 40 now and he's 50. And when we dated the first time, I was in my 20s.

Oh, wow. Okay.

You know, and you know, I. My body looks different now. I was always heavy. I'm a little heavier now. And he's older too. And I'm just really nervous about being intimate with him again because I. I mean, obviously he can see me. I just feel like, is he expecting the 20 something year old girl that was with him then and was a little more wild and, you know, I can't move the way I used to.

No. Oh, no. I totally get it, Brenda. Not at all. He's 50. He's in a different place, too. He's exactly in the same exact. He's not like he stopped grow. Not like he's still 35 or whatever. He was 40 when you were. Oh, no, you were together 15 years ago, so it's not like he's. Whatever he was. You were 25, 30, you know. No, we all change. And Grow. So that stuff's old. You guys are. Wait, I want to start where you are now, because where you are now is. It's been great. You've been made out a few times. And. And how long were you guys together? 15 years ago.

It was probably about a year. Oh, that's.

That's pretty significant, you know, in your 20s.

And you broke up because he cheated and then did you go, yeah, okay, sorry, go ahead. No, he cheated. Like, how did that go down? Did you, like have to find out or he told you or was it.

Yeah, so he started seeing his. He had had a long term relationship with another girl and he had started seeing her off and on, and then I guess it was on. And she called me out of the blue and just started getting into this, like, ridiculous fight with me. And I was pretty much like not gonna have a fight at that point, even though.

No, I get it. No, but still you're like, I don't need drama. Good, good.

Yeah, I walked away from the relationship.

Okay, and so now you're back and what. And have you been married? Have you been. Have you been in and out of relationships over the years? What are you looking basically? Answer me this. Yeah, what are you looking for now, too?

So now I. I don't really want, like, I do kind of want something serious that I feel like I'm, you know, I'm in my 40s and stuff, but I don't want to rush into it because we've both been through a lot and my life is somewhat complicated because of, you know, kids and whatever other things, and he has his own, you know, kid that he's dealing with. So it's like, I don't want to rush into anything, but I feel like, you know, we're adults and it's gonna happen sooner or later, and I. I'm just nervous about it.

Because you're nervous about the actual sex.

Yeah, I am. I got married and then a divorce, and then I dated somebody off and on for years. So, I mean, I've had sex, I've had other relationships with other men and everything's been fine. You know, I haven't been uncomfortable with them. But with him, I think I'm uncomfortable because of the fact that, you know, I'm really scared that he's in his head, he's expecting.

No, I'm telling you, I can just tell you that, that he's attracted to your essence of who you are, and he always was. And you guys had that attraction 15 years ago, and it's still there. So I say just the best thing you could do right now is to get into your body before you see him again. So do some masturbation, some walking around your room, looking in the mirror, knowing how sexy and hot you are. Go out dancing with your friends. Like, get into your womanhood, your sexiness. Feel it. Feel that you're a hot, sexy self. He's not. I don't know any men. I don't feel like you'd be with a guy who'd be like, you don't look like you were 25. Like, that's just. I think it's you. I don't even think that's. I don't know. I don't think you have to worry about that at all. Brenda, you are amazing. And I can already tell. I can tell by your energy. They're just not looking at you like that. I don't know how to say it. They're not. Brenda, this is a story that you're creating to maybe. Maybe you really like them. Like, sometimes we confuse. Like, we put up these, like, roadblocks of all the things that go wrong. And maybe it's excitement. Maybe you actually like him and you're afraid that I understand. Like, where I thought you were gonna go was, he cheated on me and that's why we broke up. That's where I thought this conversation was gonna go. Cause that was what you told me. But it's more about. You're worried about, you know, in your 40s and. No, he's into you. Just go have some great sex. In fact, our 40s are for rockin it. We know our bodies, we know it feels good. And he's gonna love the confident Brenda at 40, probably much better than the Brenda at 25. I know Emily in my late 40s is way better than Emily at 25. Although I was a good time. I'm way better now. You know what I'm saying?

I mean, I do have a little bit. Yeah, I do have a little bit of the self conscious, not self consciousness, but a little bit of the concern about him still kind of being a player.

Well, that's what I mean.

You know, he's had his. Yeah. Like, even after that girl, he. He ended up hooking up with some other girl and he got her pregnant, got married with her, got divorced. And it's been jumping around. And the only reason I think we kind of gravitated back to each other was because, you know, we stayed friends through mutual people. And it's like every now and then I would hear the Comments, they would be like, oh, you know, you know, Richard still mentions you, and he always brings up the fact that he really screwed up. And you're. You're the one, right? You were the one.

Well, just try. Yeah, yeah. I know those people from the past, I think. You don't have to know yet. It was also at 50 men. They're. They're. They're. They're. Their estrogen rises and their testosterone drops, which is kind of like men become more sensitive, they change a little bit. Not all men, I'm just saying, go in with an open mind right now. But. But forget the stuff from the past. But I want you to be very present and ask very specific questions right now, because you also don't have a lot of time to waste. It just started. But it's okay to say, what are your intentions? Some character things, like, what's he look. You know, what's he. What's he looking for now? And just start to find out sooner than later so you don't spend too much time, you know, but be honest and ask questions and find out more about his character. Ask him some of these questions we were going through earlier, you know, because those are all things that you're, like, tripping on, the stuff that could happen. And we don't know yet until you really get to know him. So I think you just have to get into your body, have some great sex with him, have some good talks, and then, you know, step. Take it slow. Absolutely. Take it slow. I love taking. I think taking it slow does everybody. It's so literally everything when you're hiring. One of the big things in business, right? Hire slowly, fire quickly. I think that that's the same goes for relationships. I think we go way too fast into relationships. Especially now in your 40s, you know what you want, you have your life. So just take some time and get to know him and see, you know, it's good that you have mutual friends. That's great, because you can kind of find out more and just keep your eyes open and have a good time. Let them. Let them love you up. Have some great sex. See what happens.

Awesome. Thank you.

You're so welcome. Have a great night. Thanks for calling, Brenda.

All right, let's help out Valerie, who is 38 in Illinois, and she wants to know if it would be acceptable to have sex outside of her loveless marriage.

Hey, Valerie, thanks for calling. Tell me more.

Hi, ladies.

Hi.

So I've been married for about 10 years, together for almost, like, about 18. And, you know, we. We Just kind of like drifted apart. I'm pretty much just over the whole situation. But we live together, so financially doesn't make sense to move out in our separate ways. But we've already had discussion that, you know, the next, you know, two years is all we're going to do. And we said that we were going to remain friends. I don't know, you know, just like the beginning stages of it. I don't know how if that's actually going to work out. But you know, I enjoy my time with him and we have fun together. But romantically there's been nothing going on for about three years.

Okay.

No, nothing. So I'm kind of wondering like, okay, well, if I'm ever ready to. Because I'm kind of working on myself to get myself more confident. Okay. So I'm wondering if it would be acceptable for me just to kind of have me be like a one night here and there, like once in a great while, you know, just to kind of give myself their pleasure because I don't think I would feel guilty for it because I just don't. I'm kind of checked out already.

Yeah, well.

Yeah, I don't think it's good. I mean, unless you guys have an arrangement that it's okay for you to go outside the marriage, I don't think that you should. I think you should. It'll be really hard for you to just. You think it'll be easy go out and find someone to have a one night stand, but it's going to get tricky and it's not honest, honest either. So if you haven't, you gotta clear it with him either. Now why are you staying with him then? For the kids?

Well, just financially doesn't make sense to. We've already separated once before, like early in the relationship when our child was a lot younger. Now I mean, she's in high school, so there's, you know, so we're, you know, she's older, so. But I mean we haven't had discussion of, you know, we go step outside of our marriage. But I already had mentioned to him, like, listen, whatever you do, that's your business. I don't want, I just want to know about it and respect the home, that's it basically. And he never agreed to it. He kind of stood quiet and so, I mean, but I'm just speaking more for myself. I mean, I'm not going to go on these dating apps or anything like that because this world is way too small and I would hate to have something come out, you know, and it's supposed to be a discreet, you know, kind of thing.

Right, Right. I mean, I. I just don't. I mean, I know you're saying financially, but I feel like, I mean, I don't think that you should just stay together for finances or for the kid. Because your kids pick your daughter. You said your child. They're picking up on the distress in the home. Like they can feel it that mom and dad aren't romantic or they're not together anymore. I mean, I think that if you feel like you've truly done everything and it's done and you don't feel like you, you should start moving out, you just, you should end it, you'll be okay. Things work out. But. Or go back to therapy if you haven't and stick with it and say, you know, let's try this again. But if you are certain this is someone that you never want to have sex with again, you're already over it completely, then I don't think it's healthy to stay together. And, you know, or. Yeah, I'm not going to say it's okay to go. People do it. They do have sex outside the marriage, but it, it's just not healthy. Like, I just want you to have the freedom to do that outside, you know, to end it or either stay together and work on it or leave and have sex with other people.

Yeah.

Finance is an excuse. We all, you know, you could make it work. You know, I think it's an excuse.

No, I do. Because financially, really the financial part is excuse. Well, it's real because we can all make our way or I don't know, I'm scrappy. I've had a job since I was 14. Like, I can make things happen if I need to. And I believe that you shouldn't stay in a situation that is not nurturing you whole how you need it. If you've tried it all and you know that he's literally just your friend and not a lover anymore. And you're to the point where like, can I go outside it? No, you'll make it work. You've got friends, you probably have a job, you've loved ones. You could make it work. But I think it's scary to leave someone after 18 years and then just having sex will. Just with someone random will make it more confusing for you. That's what I think.

Right. I mean, I just. Yeah, I know. I see. That's. I wanted your insight on that. I mean, we haven't touched each other in about three years.

Yeah. And that's not good.

Like, anything.

Yeah, I don't like that. I don't. I don't think that's. That's what I'm concerned about. But I get why you want to sleep with someone else. So now you got to say, we haven't. Are we gonna try again, or are we just done with sex? And then if you're done with sex, you could say that I need to sleep with. You know, have that conversation, but get clear on it, because I. You're 38. You're young. I want you to go have some sex. We all need sex. So, you know. Yeah.

You know, there's just a lot of problems. Like, I was. My other child. He never said. And he has, like, issues with being honest and even about the little things, and I just don't have that trust there anymore. And he knows about it, and I just. And I, like, left. I reached my limit.

But, yeah, it sounds like it.

We just can't get our own place right now. I mean, it's just. Honestly, we have a clause in our. In our home where we have to wait a certain amount of time before.

No, I get it. I don't think it's easy. I understand. I don't mean it's like a. Like a lame excuse. Like, it's like, it's. I think we can get. I understand. So maybe just have one. Know that you've done, like, have a really hard conversation with them again, but, like, be like, we. This is not how I want to live. Like, we can't do this anymore. We need to figure something out. Like, and then bring up the seeing other people, because I don't think that you want to wait three more years and not have sex till your kid goes to college. So try talking to him again. Sounds like you're done and done, but maybe it'll surprise you. Who knows? But I'll be here. Let me know what happens. Okay. Thank you for calling. Thanks for the question. Bye, Valerie.

All right, let's Talk to Keith, 46, in Georgia, who says his wife is interested in group sex, and he wants to know your thoughts about it.

Hey. Hey, Keith.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, Emily. Love your show.

Thank you, Keith. I love your question.

My question? Well, my question. We've been together for 24 years, and we have a pounding sex life, and pounding.

Did you say a pounding sex life? I've never heard that, but it sounds awesome. Like, banging pounding. Okay, good.

Well, it works, but we watch porn and everything, and she. She watches a lot of porn where. With two males and A female and everything. And then she started watching some adult bookstore sex where the girls and the guy would go in and she would have a, you know, a few partners and so forth. And she said to me that that looked interesting and that was something that maybe, you know, she would like to try once and see what it would be like. And I was just thought I'd pick your brain and see what you thought of that.

Okay, well, Keith, what. Tell me what you. What you think about it. When she first told you that, how did you feel?

I don't know. Well, I can't say. I don't know. I thought, wow, that's definitely.

Yeah.

And excited a little bit. I don't know why that.

No, but that makes sense. 24 years together. Okay, well, what I think, Keith, here's the thing. So was it a group sex? Like, would it be with men and women or just a group of men and women you like, what was the. Her fantasy?

Well, the. The adult bookstore thing is basically, I think, all men and me. Okay, what some of the.

Well, here's what I think, Keith. I think that it can work. You guys have made it out of 24 years. You have sounds like you really good communication, but like, there's gonna have to be some. A lot of talking and a lot of feeling before you jump into this. Because you guys haven't been with anyone else. Correct. In 24 years.

So this would be like a next level thing. So I think you should do some more like role playing around it. Like, maybe you guys, when you're having sex, she could start to explain to you there's some pre sex, some foreplay. Like, oh, I'm picturing us walking in the bookstore right now, and there's three men in the corner and they all come up from behind. Or, you know, like, I think that you should start to, like, role play with her and see how that actually makes you feel. And then if you're like, yeah, that could be kind of hot to watch her do this. But then you guys have to decide, like, well, what are the boundaries? Like, is she allowed to make out with them? Is there actual penetration? Would you want a woman in there, Keith? Is part of you, like, well, what about having a woman? You know, I think that you get to have a play in this fantasy as well, if you have any fantasies around this. So, like, I think that couples should never just jump into like a threesome or group sex to solve their relationship problems. But it sounds like you guys are having. Still having great sex so that you could be A good candidate. You guys could be good candidates for group sex. But I think there's still some more figuring out to do and talking through the scenario.

Well, she had the. She has explained a little bit on some of the rules and everything, because. And it's stuff that she's come up with that, you know, she will make the decision on which one, you know, that penetrates or stuff like that. And she has, you know, went through the fantasy and everything, and, well, how did you feel?

I mean, like, the thing is. Okay, so that's good. So she's clear. And you want to know, like, I don't. How do you. And you said it was kind of exciting to you.

Yeah.

Okay. I mean, you guys could. I mean, you know, I. You never know what's gonna happen until you get into that room and there's three other men and three other penises, and they're there and you're there, and, you know, it's like. Could be. It's a big move for a couple. But if you. You could also have a safe word. You could. You could, you know, try it out, make sure that you use protection and see how it goes. But make sure that you have an out plan. But I feel like you're not certain yet, so. But if you're asking me what I think, I think couples can make any, like, make scenarios work when they're really open and honest and they discuss the boundaries and all the rules and all that. So I'm not gonna tell you no. But I'm gonna tell you that maybe you just need to have a little bit more talk about it and think about it. Don't just do it to please her, because you said she brought up all her stuff. But what do you want? Like, what's your fantasy, Keith? Because why don't you get yours?

Right, Right. Okay.

Well, that's some good advice.

Okay.

And I will have a good discussion with her. I appreciate it so much.

Of course, Keith. I'm here for you. Let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear group sex gone. Right. Because often it does. Right. All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed the show. Thank you all for calling in and being vulnerable and sharing your stories and participating. It's a big part of the show. So thank you all. I appreciate it. And thanks to my amazing team. Ken, Kristen, Michelle, producer Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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