Multiplying Orgasms & Pleasure

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them. In a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. you're gonna love our website if you haven't been there yet. And our podcast. Thank you for listening. We released three a week and you can comment and subscribe wherever you listen. We so appreciate it. We so appreciate when you subscribe. When you comment, you can easily let us know. We will share it. Let us know that you subscribed and what you said. If you share on Instagram, we'll share it. We'll tell you we love you so hard. We're exassemily across the board on all social media. Oh, and we're also on Sirius XM radio. I'm there five nights a week and I love it. It's Monday through Friday, 5 to 7 Pacific. And you guys should check it out. It's sex talk. You can take your calls, we chat. You'll change your life. Get a free 30 day trial at sexwithemily.com sxm all right, guys, enjoy the show. I need to fill you in on a little hack here. I'd like to talk to you about multiple orgasms. Okay? So this is for women. You can do one for men another time because men penis owners can have them as well. But I feel like there's a lot of women who say to me.

I can only have one or it really hurts after. I've never had multiple. And this is one of those things that you can actually learn, okay? It's just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it can't happen. So.

I think the first thing is that you have to. You have to be patient and know that anytime you're trying, even if you're trying to masturbate for the first time, you're trying to figure out your G spot, you know, I had to figure it out on my own. It wasn't happening for me during sex, during intercourse. So just know that you gotta be patient and that is your ticket. Like if you want to have a ticket to multiple oland, you might have to put in some time. And that's okay. It's the journey. Because on the journey you're gonna find that maybe your labia is really sensitive and there's other parts of you that really feel good. So that's okay. And then also remember that a big part of it is to. You want to be present and you want to stay in the moment the whole time you're figuring this out. But you also want to do this whenever you're like. I think a lot of this is mostly for masturbation. So if you are masturbating, let's say you do your normal trick, you know, your normal masturbation routine, so you're present, you're okay, that the multiple night might not happen this time. And you're breathing, you want to breathe deep and you want to make sure you have your first orgasm. Knock it out. However you do it, have the orgasm and then what you do is take a deep breath after that. So just because you have an orgasm, you can take your hands off or the vibrator or whatever you're doing and then start to like move your hands over other parts of your body. You can start to touch your nipples, you can start touching your clitoris. You can rub like the inside of your thighs and just stay connected mentally and physically. But don't stay connected to your body. Don't be thinking, is it going to happen? Is it going to happen?

Pay attention to the sensations. Like even after the first orgasm, don't like, I think that we have a habit of shutting down after because we've always been done after the first one. So just pay attention to what's happening after that orgasm. Breathe. You know, you don't have to keep touching and then to keep touching your clitoris. And then, you know, think about your clitoris, Think about what could feel good to you. So that is the focal point for a lot of women, that's where they have the orgasm. So if you explore new techniques for stimulating your stuff through like indirect touch, like I said, like other parts of the clitoris, varying your positions. Like for me, I know that I can have one, but then I can have my clitoral orgasm. But then there's like my labia and there's like just. It's not. It's very complex. So know your clitoris, become clitorate about your own body. Get a mirror, take a look. Actually, next time you're doing this, you could have a mirror, check out your clitoris. This is amazing, you guys. If you have a mirror when you are masturbating and you look at your before and after, even when you're starting, it's really hot. But then you're like, oh, there's my clitoris. And then you see after you have an orgasm, becomes swelled, it becomes more engorged. I don't Love the word engorged when talking about it doesn't sound sexy, but it does becomes engorged. Minicasa could be hot here in gorgeous.

Seeing the contractions. The contractions actually pretty cool, right?

When you have an orgasm, you watch contractions and you see, like, oh, my, that's happening. And then you start to, like, take your fingers, and you can kind of see where you're going, and you can kind of like, rub around and then. And then play with, like, pressures and play with, like, different strokes. Maybe you want, like, a lighter touch. Maybe you want a vibrator. Or you can use a sex toy. You guys, if you normally have it one way. You could try, you know, a toy. You could try a G spot toy. You could try a. Any kind of clitoral toy. Magic wand. I know for me is like, a personal record. I think it was, like, 23 orgasms.

That's insane and amazing. I mean, I don't think I ever.

Made it out that night.

I mean, how would you be like, how would your legs even work after that?

It was fun, though. I was like, I don't think I'm gonna make it to dinner.

Sounds like a great time.

It was a good time. I gotta say. I'm like, I'm not missing anything right now. So really, it's about teasing yourself, breathing, and knowing that it can happen. Working your kegel muscles, very important, you guys. Your kegel muscles are responsible for your orgasm. Those are the muscles that are contracting. So when your doctor tells you or when I tell you, strengthen your pelvic floor. That's what we your kegels. I have an iPhone app called Kegel camp. You can download it. You can try that. It can remind you. You can buy kegel balls. We have some on our website. Kegel. Kegel. I like mixing it up.

Yeah.

Why not? Yeah.

So what I like to do is I like to use the womanizer, but I think I like to do, like, I'll use the womanizer to get the first one, and then I'll use my hands after to get the next one. Yeah, I like, kind of.

Right, because you're already warmed up. Yep, I've done that too. Because you're already going, that's great. You could use the vibrator for the first one and then see, like, what else feels good? Oh, the other t. Definitely use lube.

Yeah.

Have you not heard that I'm obsessed with lube?

Where have you been my whole life? But you know, and just, like, change your mindset about it. Like, know that like, it can happen and it will happen if you just have patience and you breathe and you just explore. And so all the things I talk about, masturbation doesn't excite you. Maybe a goal oriented, like, let me see what else I could experiment. Experiment with to have more pleasure. So. And nipple orgasms, also very popular, you guys. If you have not had one, it doesn't mean that you can't have one. So another fun thing is just like playing with your nipples and lube, like after you have an orgasm, like, go up there. Because the clitoris and the nipples both the same part of your brain, they send signals. The same part of your brain that's responsible for orgasm. The clitoris and the breast, the nipples share the same part of the brain.

I have so much trouble trying to.

Verbalize that I always say it wrong. Yes.

No, it's so hard to say.

Part of your brain is responsible for both, which is why nipple orgasm is really common and popular. Common, popular. It's possible for a lot of women, but they just don't know because they don't spend enough time touching it. So these are all the paths to pleasure, you guys. Multiples. If you have any more questions about it, you can totally call us. You can call us about anything. But I think you'll be amazed at all the pleasure that your body can deliver you just by having a little patience and a little fun and taking some breaths and making your pleasure a priority. Whether you're in a relationship or out of a relationship, your pleasure should be a priority, especially your sexual health and pleasure.

And. Yeah. So if you have more questions, you can also. We have some stuff on our website about multiple orgasms. Check it.

There's a really cute video. Emily does a sex hack.

I do multiple orgasms. She put that. Okay, great. Do that. Check that out. 8, 8, 9, 4, 7, 8, 2, 7, 7.

Okay, let's talk to the people. We have Tristan, who's 36 in California. He wants to know how he can get his fiance to make the move on him for a change.

Oh, hey, Tristan. I hear you.

Hey, how you doing?

I'm good. How are you? Yeah, right.

I'm all right. Coming up on my year anniversary tomorrow, so.

Oh, how many years?

One year.

One year.

Oh.

Happy anniversary. I hope it was a good year. Okay, so you want her?

Excellent.

Good, good, good, good. So has she. Has she ever initiated before?

No.

Okay, so here's the thing. Yeah. A lot of women just never do. We're used to men doing. It was never part of our thing. So she probably doesn't know how, really. Like, she could. Like, she could think about it, but it's, like, might be scary to her. She wouldn't know where to start. Or she just doesn't think like that. So what you could do is tell her. First of all, back up. Have you guys ever talked about your sex life?

Oh, yeah, we've talked about it. We thought about it.

Okay, so have you ever said to her, what, that's good. Have you ever told her that you thought it'd be really hot if she initiated?

Oh, yeah, numerous times.

And it doesn't happen. So here's why. She needs to know what that looks like for you. So, Tristan, it might be as simple as, like, you kiss my neck. But. But tell her specifically what it looks like because she might be going, oh, I forgot again. I'm not in the mood. I didn't know. Like, it becomes stressful. Which I know might seem silly to you because you're like, I've been doing it all year long. But for women. Yeah, right. Yeah. But it's really common. I get this question a lot. So this is my best solution for you, is just to, like, tell her specifically what. Do you know what it would look like for you?

Yeah, I have an idea.

Okay. Would you feel comfortable telling her?

Definitely. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Okay.

So that's.

I don't know why. I don't know why I haven't. Because we have a relationship where I'm the dominant and, you know, we have all our toys, whips and stuff like that. But I backed off from that so much.

Why?

In a sense.

I got tired of doing all the work.

Oh. Oh, I totally get it. Okay, so, Tristan, I get it. So. So here's the thing. You're the dom. You're doing all the things. She doesn't. She doesn't think of it as work. She just. Her brain isn't there. She doesn't. She's never had to do the work that you're talking about. So this is a conversation about her, like, learning some new skills, essentially. And without you. When you have to talk with her, you can't be like, I do all the work. Can't believe you. You know what I mean? That's the dynamic that you set up, right? That you both set up. So now it's like, you have to tell her, like, you know, it would make me feel really loved and really be such a turn on if I came home and you were lying on the bed wearing this thing that I bought, wearing the negligee. And then you had the toys out. And then you. Whatever it is. And then she'd have a script, right? And then she could see if she likes it. So that's all it is. And you're already at the frustration point, but just give her a little time here and remember that. Then you can ask her what turns her on. How does she like it when you initiate the most? And you guys could figure out what your next level is. Make a plan for your on your anniversary. Why don't you guys write a sex plan for the year? What do you guys want to try? Do a bucket list, exchange. Say, let's play a fun sex game. Let's each write down three things we want to try in the next year, you know, and, like, have fun. By next quarter, we want to be, you know, I don't know what you guys want doing anal, swinging from the rafters. That's a fun annivers thing to do, I think. Figure out your sex plan. Prioritize pleasure this year.

Yeah.

Yeah, Tristan. So there you go. It's all gonna get better.

Definitely.

This is your year. You're so welcome. Happy anniversary. It's the best gift ever, I think. What else do you want? Talk about your sex life on your anniversary in a really fun, positive way.

Yeah, I like the idea of making, like, the sex plan for the year because then the whole year, if you do set it up, like, quarterly or however, then, you know, you're like, hey.

Would you guys join me for a sex plan course? If we could talk on the phone and we could do a make your sex plan, would you follow through? Would you do that with me? 888-947-8277 or just email us. You guys can always email us. Questions, feedbackexwithemily.com all right, let's talk to.

Melissa, who's 53, met a guy online, and he wants to jump right into sex before going out on a date.

Oh, Melissa.

Hi. Hi. So tell me. Yeah. What? Tell me everything.

Well, so actually, so we. He's been on a project, and so he hasn't been in town for the last month. So we have been talking on the phone or in doing a lot of sexting, and, I mean, he's really hot about, like, the things he likes to do or wants to do or. And he's constantly reaching out to me throughout the day or in the evening and that kind of thing. And he's like, when I wrap up this project, I'd love for us to, you know, I'd like to take you out and all of that. He goes, but I just feel like we've been through so much. He's like, can we just go ahead and jump into the sex and then go out to dinner? And there's a part of me who's like, oh, my God, you know, I would love to. But then there's a part of me who's like, okay, Michelle, you know, you're being crazy.

Yeah, no, I think. Wait, and you've never met him, Right?

Right.

Okay. But you sent an email, correct? Yeah. Did you?

Yeah. Emails, cell phones and all of that.

Yeah, yeah, we got treatment. Awesome. No, but I think. No, you. Yeah. So wait, listen, this is my thing, Melissa, I. You sent. Did you send us an email about this? Okay. I was gonna say we were gonna talk. We loved your email, and I'm so glad you called in. So, like, here's the thing, Melissa. I think that you should go to dinner with him. It's more. You've never met him, and you've never met him. Just remember that sexting and words are just a tiny part of the whole equation, like body language and actually seeing him in person and smelling him and the whole presence. And you gotta see if you actually are gonna want to have sex with him. And this is my. This is what people do. We escalate. We escalate. We text. Sex. Sex. And you never met, so, no to sex before dinner. Not this time. Go to dinner, see if you like him, meet him in a public place. You might feel totally different. So it feels really great that he asked that. But to be like, oh, that'd be great. But that'll have to be our dessert. Let's get dinner. That's what I think.

Oh, that's a good idea.

Okay.

Dessert.

Yeah. Get to know him. We can wait another through a meal.

Yeah.

And then let us know what happens. I want to see if you still like the sex.

I know. For God's sakes, you can wait an hour.

Yeah, exactly. We've never even met. Like, why do we gotta jump right to sex? Right. No, have a bite. Get some dinner. Get some food in you. See if you actually like this guy who's a great sexter. Believe me, I've dated many great texters. And then I realized I like them more on the phone than I did in person. That happens, right? So, like, could you just go in the other room and sex me? Okay. You're so welcome, Melissa. Let's let us know how it goes. We'll be here. Triple 8, 9, 4, 7, 8, 2, 7, 7. We like that when she sent the email, we were gonna get to that. It's like, no, wait, go to dinner, you guys. Yeah. Meet someone. Remember you guys, this sexting. You never met someone. You don't know anyone until you meet them.

Even in general. Like, like I said last night, I wasn't really sure what to expect on the date I went on. And he was completely kind of different than I thought he was gonna be, which was, I mean, good. It was refreshing. I was like, I actually had a nice time, but I didn't think he was gonna be, I don't know, just the person that he was. So you never, you have to meet them, right?

You have to. Like how they different? Like the way he looked or just everything?

Like, no, like kind of like. I don't know, I just had this like, kind of like pre.

Right. Cause you've been texting, like barely though.

So I didn't really know him. That was really just off his profile. So I was like, sure, he seems alright, but I don't know. But then when I met him, I was like, oh, you're actually like really cool and just a different personality than I expected.

Right, because people can't market themselves. Well, maybe you look. Market himself well enough for you to like his profile, but. And also our pictures of us is not who we are. Exactly. So it's such a small part. Small part, you guys. So remember, I think it's always best to. I think it's okay to have sex with someone right away. We all do it, We've all done it. But I think the longer you can wait to actually have sex, whether you're in a relationship or not, or it's the first time, the better it is for the relationship and for the sex. We all love a tease. We all love the drawing out of the sex and the tension. That can be some of the best part of sex. All right, we're gonna take a quick break and we come back. We're onto your calls.

All right, so let's talk to Griffin, 22, in Massachusetts. He decided to have sex with his girlfriend outside and his mom and dad pulled up and caught them.

Ooh. Uh, oh, was it after I told. Hey, Griffin.

Hey there.

How you doing? When did that happen?

Well. Oh my God, it was bad. It was really, really bad.

Okay, tell me what? When?

All right, all right, so it happens, I would say a couple weeks ago, okay. When the weather was very nice out and you know, we were having a lot of sex, so we want to, you know, make things interesting. So we Were outside. You know, there weren't a lot of cars around. Familiar neighborhood. So we were like, all right, let's get on top of the car and let's make it interesting. So I said, all right, he's down for it. We get on top of the car, we start fucking. And I'm near my house, but, you know, thinking me like, oh, you know, there'll be no problems. And so I'm just.

Honestly, top of the car, naked, fucking. Okay.

Yeah.

So I'm going to town, and all of a sudden, my mom and my dad pull up, and they park right next to me.

And they're asking, oh, like, what's going on? And my dad's laughing, and so I'm just. I get off the car. I mean, we're caught at this point, right? And my mom's yelling at me, like, yeah.

Wait, but you were in your driveway of your home?

No, I was like. I was like, the street over.

And.

They were trying to get home.

Oh, the street over at night? Like, I don't know, maybe go, like, into another neighborhood? I mean, is that the street? I know, but still. That's hilarious.

I wasn't thinking at the time, but it was daytime. That was the problem.

Oh, man.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

So what's your. So what happened, Griffin? Your dad was laughing and your mom.

Mom what?

Oh, my mom was horrified because, you know, my penis was out. And that's never a. No, never a good moment.

What about your girlfriend? What was your girlfriend doing?

My girlfriend just completely got off the car, jumped into the car and was hiding and just put on a sweatshirt. She put on my sweatpants.

Oh, my God. I would be dying. I would be dead if my boy. If I. Yeah, but good. But good on you for a little. Little experimental.

My dad yelled at me. My dad tried giving me hints after how I wasn't hitting it right was the worst part after it.

I love your dad. He's like, son, son, let me talk to you about this. Don't do the jackhammer. That doesn't feel good to her when you are hamming her away like that.

Well, he gave me credit because I was using protection at least.

Oh, there you go.

Points for protection.

Got it.

Thumbs up.

No. Yeah. Yeah, Griffin, you. You did good. I love that Griffin brought a condom for the outdoor. Spontaneous sex, but, you know, next time, I guess we'll make decisions outside the neighborhood. That is an amazing story, Griffin. I love it. That is so great. So your dad's amazing, but really, I guess you got to be more father like son, like father, like son. He gave you some tips. Oh, my God, Griffin, that's great. So how's your girlfriend doing? Is she recovered? Because I know if I was 20, I'd be like mortified.

I think at first it was a little horrifying and it was probably the last time we'll ever fuck outside, but.

I mean, but now.

You said it was an experience. It was a great experience.

Okay. That was a great. We joined it too. I feel like we were there with you. So now. Thank you for passing that along. You made our night.

Oh, no problem. No problem. I mean, it was interesting. It was. It was actually one of the best. You know, one of our best times just having sex. I mean, it was warm out, I was feeling good. I. I mean, I went to town, she loved it. So maybe I didn't get to finish with the problem, but my parents saw my penis.

But, but, yeah, but, but, but I love it. It's gonna be a good story. You'll never forget it. So, you know, never forget. And I'll never forget it either. I mean, don't let it stop you from having set crazy doing wild things. But, you know, now you got something else to try. What's next on the bucket list?

Well, we've already fucked inside of a Chili's before, but.

Inside of a Chili's, like in the bathroom or just. No, I know the restaurant now. I'm never gonna eat there again. But that's cool. But.

That'S cool. Okay, well, you guys sound fun. Just, you know, be safe, keep calling you do, Griffin. 22 year old man. This is good, Griffin. We're all learning a lot from you. We all need to keep it interesting. At all age, at every time, at every stage of the relationship. And it's not that hard. Just don't get caught.

Of course, I'm in my prime right now. You are. Man, I gotta go get it.

Yeah, Griffin, Griffin. Do it with you. Grab your condoms and just fly into the universe and do you. He's like a superhero. All right, Griffin, thanks for calling. You're the best. Call us back. Keep us posted. Triple 894-782-77. I love that story. Oh my God. I could see the dad like son, you know? Son, really? You're not hitting it right. That's funny. Oh, man. Because we were. I was afraid because yesterday we were talking about fetishes, fantasies people have. We were talking about sex in public. That was our whole thing that we did a little segment on it and then I thought, holy shit, Griffin. Did it last night and he got caught, but he was doing it before us. Yeah, that's a great story.

All right, let's talk to Cherie, 51 in Nevada, and she's got a question about selfish lovers.

Sheree, what's going on? Tell me. Hey.

Hi. Well, okay, Big Dan, thank you. I enjoy your show. Thank you very much.

Of course.

The problem I have is I've been dating this guy for nearly five years and he's very selfish. He doesn't.

Reciprocate oral. He, he. I tell him the moves that I enjoy that will allow me to have an orgasm. He's. He's done it once.

Right.

I'll remind him and tell him, oh, I really love it when you do that. I really love it when you do this. And he may or may not do it. Most times he won't. But I'm the type of lover where I'm. I'm very giving. I'll do whatever it takes to make him, you know, come and get there.

Right.

And no, I get it as long as it takes.

Yeah, of course.

Well, have you enjoyed. He won't do anything.

I got it. So, Sherry, here's what the deal. So this is a really. Just so you know, like, this happens a lot, right? You're like, I told him. I told him. And like, why wouldn't he do it? He loves me. So here's the thing. He just does it. Even though you've told him. I think you got to talk about it. I know you have to talk to him about it in a way that he can actually hear. Like not just a one time thing, but like an outside the bedroom where you're like, listen, I really love you in our relationship, but I feel that I feel so much more turned on and attracted to you when, like, when you go down on me, it feels so good when you, like do this thing with your tongue. And I know that you know that because I've told you. And I'm just wondering, like, I feel like I need it, like I require it. Like foreplay. Like, not just a suggestion, a requirement. So I'm curious if you have ideas around, like, why. Is there a reason maybe why that doesn't happen as much or tell me your thoughts about it. How do you feel about that? That that's what I need?

Well, I find that most of the. Well, this is how it'll go. It's like foreplay. It's like he enjoys me going down. So I, I do it. I enjoy it also.

Okay. But not as much. Okay. Sorry. Keep going.

All the time is spent doing that. Okay. That's a lot of time. And then there's, you know, we have sex and then it's over.

So do. You're not having orgasms?

I've had one in five years.

Yes.

Sherry, Sherry, Sherry. There's an orgasm deficit going on, and I. We need to feel it, Sherry.

I know. I. I enjoy everything else, but he's only.

What else?

You know, brought me to climax one time.

He does it. Okay. I'm gonna give him the benefit. Out. Ready? I'm gonna give you. He's like a lot of men. He doesn't know, like, literally, he's never had a woman in his life. Share the information with him that women do not orgasm, mostly during intercourse. Only 20% do. Like. Like, I just. But I feel like that's why. Unless he's just. I mean, then I'm gonna say, is he selfish? In other. Is there other ways in the relationship that this feels familiar to you?

Yeah.

Okay. For example.

Gifts, Things like that. Gift giving.

He doesn't go all out, but enjoy reciprocating.

Right, Right. So he's selfish. A little bit. He doesn't really take care of your. He doesn't. He doesn't take care of your needs?

No.

You don't feel nurtured by him?

No. Right. So it's kind of like all. It's all the things. So I don't know if it's just about the sex, but it's that. And how long have you guys been together?

Nearly five years.

Near five years. Oh, yeah. You said five years. Okay. And it's been happening. Okay, so. So have you ever had any talks, like, is this your guy? Like, you're with them for forever, whatever that means, or a long time?

Yeah. Well, I won't say forever.

No, I get.

I enjoy him. I mean, he's a sweet guy and everything. I love him, but. And like I said, we have fun, we have a good time. I enjoy having sex with him.

Right. Okay. So maybe he just needs some little, like. Like, I think he just needs some reminders here About.

About what? Look, here's the thing. He. There's information he doesn't have, and that is that, like, that's foreplay. Like, it's. And I. And I agree. Like, Sherry, I came. You like your generation. Like, we. We just gave blow jobs. Like, that's what we did. I didn't expect oral sex in return. Most men weren't offering it up. But it's a new time now, Sherry, and we required like all the studies and science and like, women that we are told and too, not their fault, really. This is what we see, that penetration is the mess where that's the main act. The main act is when his penis goes inside of you. And oh, my God. Because that's the main act for them, because women didn't know how to speak up as much about it. So I think that there's just gonna have to be, like, a talk with him. You let him know, like, I require these things, like. Like oral and foreplay. Like, I do too. I'm actually. It makes me. And when you do it, I feel so good. So you're not, like, saying, why haven't you? And I'm mad and why don't you know this? But you encourage him and let him know that it turned you on. It's actually something that's like a deal break. You need. You requ. Foreplay, oral, and, like, you could, like, say, and let me know what else you might need from me. But, like, I think it's time. Five years in that we really have a great. I was driving along, listening to the show, and she was talking about couples and communication, how important it is for them to talk about their sex lives all the time. And I realized we haven't talked about it much. So I started thinking about what we could do to, you know, make it even, take it to the next level. And here's some thoughts. What do you think? What are your ideas? And then you might have to have it again next week. Don't be afraid to keep having these conversations with him. If he's your guy, you might as well figure out if he can give you what you've been giving to him because you deserve it. And you will find someone who demands they go down on you. Like, they'll be like, I am not even putting my penis anywhere near you until I go down on you for 20 minutes.

Exactly. That's what I want.

Right? You should have that. You should have that. We should all have that.

I.

You're like, do everything for him. I know. So he just got lazy. He doesn't think he has to. No one's ever given consequences. No one's ever called him on it. Maybe his mom took care of everything, you know, you're taking care of everything. I don't know. But he just. I just like to give him the benefit of the doubt that. That we've grown up in a certain time in societal norms and no one ever called it out. And he's not listening to the show. And he doesn't get it. So let's just try it out. Try some. Like, no. And. But don't get, like, apologetic. Don't. I'm sorry. Cause you're a pleaser. It sounds like so am I, so. I know. Like, it's weird and awkward to state for what we. Takes a while. Like, you gotta learn to set boundaries and ask for what you want. But you. I'm telling you, girl, you deserve this. And you gotta. You haven't had it for five years. One orgasm. Like, I don't even know. Like, I need you to move. I need you to have this conversation today.

I know.

Yeah, you can call me back. You can just do the first step. Because it's gonna be hard. I'm telling you. Not hard, but, like, you don't often have these convers. Most people don't. But just know that just once you start. You can't mess it up by speaking your truth and how it feels. And don't worry about hurting his feelings. You did. Okay.

That's where it is. I did say something, and that was really difficult for me to do. And I felt good that I said it, but there's nothing changed.

Well, because we don't. You know why? Nothing changes. No, we don't make behavioral changes based on one suggestion from someone. Like, you know, many friends told me I should meditate before I did. Or maybe you should take a yoga. You know, like go to the gym or eat healthy. Like, I know I shouldn't be eating gluten or whatever it is you told him once and he changed. Or twice. But to actually change behavior, you need to do some more explaining to him, Sheree, where you're like, this is why it makes me feel good. Actually, that's how I get turned on. It makes me feel love from you. Maybe you guys could take the love language quiz and see. Cause it sounds like gifts is one for you. And the love language quiz takes.

I did.

Okay, so then go over the results. Listen, people need. Well, so you know what? He's not. For whatever reason, he's not prioritizing your pleasure. And he needs to. And you're gonna find out soon enough if you are strong and have this convers, but in a loving way. And you see if anything changes, give them a month from now, because then you'll be in it for five more years. And I want. I can't have you wait that long for another orgasm.

Okay?

Okay. All right. Okay, Sheree, keep me posted. I'll be here. Thank you. Let me know.

All right. So Mike, who's 52, New Jersey, wrote, I've heard you talk plenty of times about the Kiven Method. There's one thing I get confused about. When I lay perpendicular to her, am I looking left to right, as in clit to perennium or up and down labia, clit labia, or better yet, north to south or east to west with her head being north. Thank you and love your show, God.

Thank you, Mike. Okay, we've talked a lot about the Kiven Method on the show, and we've had wild results. Crazy people are like, oh, my God. It's an amazing sex method that we actually have it on our Instagram in the saved. In the saved stories. Doesn't say, like, Kiven method or oral sex method. But here's the deal, Mike. I get it. A few people were confused about this. Essentially, you're sticking. You're licking from labia to labia. So essentially, your tongue itself is going up and down, but it' side by side on her, if that makes sense. So you're licking like you're licking up and down labia, clit, labia.

Yes.

It's not clit to butt, clit to perineum. Perineum. It's labia, clit, labia. So it's like a windshield wiper across. So that would be east to west. If her head is north, I'm so bad at that. I know we're all bad at geography. I was like, oh, shit, North. Her head is north.

Her feet are south.

Yes.

But you are licking east to west. I think we all got that on the clitoris. So this is the best. I'm telling you. It's because when your tongue is swiping over all those. Swiping, swiping.

It's a swish swash. I'm swiping over the. Swishing and swapping and swishing over the. That's what it's doing. It's like a swish. It's like a. It's like a lick, lick, lick, swish, swish.

Your tongue's all swishing around west to east, east to west, whatever. It feels amazing because you're hitting all these nerve endings that I always talk about about the clitoris, which is 8,000 nerve endings. It's not just that little bulb. It's also in the labia. Because when you're licking the labia, remember that there's clitoral legs that extend down behind the labia. So it's like a wishbone. So if you are licking, if you're going labia, clit, labia, Essentially you're going click, click, click. Because the labia can also be the clitoral nerves. So you're just, you're, you're, you're. It's a larger swath with your swipe. That's what it is. So I hope that clarifies it for all of you. And now if you want to know about the given method, you can go to sexemily.com or you can just go to our Instagram and watch me perform.

It on the vulva puppet.

I perform it on the vulva puppet that we have in here for teaching purposes. Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed the show. Thanks everyone for listening and for participating and for telling all your friends about the show. Because come on, they need help as well, right? Thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, producer, Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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