Open Minds and Open Marriages with Jason Ellis

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you can check out everything going on you guys. On the website, we have amazing content. Subscribe to the podcast so you'll never miss a show again. Release two a week. You can also go to sexdemily.com podcast. That's really easy. And if you want to shop my store, do that because all the amazing things I talk about, most of them are available in the store. And follow me on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter. It's all Sex with Emily. And since it's May still masturbation month, you guys still happening. I want you to email me your favorite masturbation routine. If you have a special ritual, a toy that you love, music, scent, something that you think about, let me know. Feedbackextextwithemily.com and let me know by May 31st. You'll win a special Sex with Emily masturbation sexy prize. Because that's what I'm all about. Oh, also, here's the thing. I have a subscription box every. It's every quarter. You can get a box from unbound Box. It's on my website and this month's theme, it's a mutual masturbation box. I'm a huge fan of mutual masturbation. You know, I talk about it a lot. I mean, I love masturbation, the umbrella of masturbation. When you go beneath their mutual masturbation, do with a partner. It's got things to. To help you out with that process. So I'm really excited for my guest today. Jason Ellis is here. Hi, Jason.

Hello, Emily.

So good to see you. You're so much more mellow today. Well, because you're kind of in pain and stuff.

I'm not in pain.

No, you're not in pain. I shouldn't say that. You've been through a lot.

I'm worn out, but I'm not, you know, physically. There you go. I'm worn out, but mentally, I'm shocked.

You've never been stronger. You've never been stronger. Yeah. Yeah. You're amazing, man. You're a renaissance Man, I get that.

I'm joking. No, you smell like a cigar. I started smoking cigars today because I wanted to celebrate. I don't feel so good about doing that. No.

Really? Yeah.

I don't know, Maybe I need to get a bed or one or something. I don't know.

Probably.

Maybe I'll smoke too much of it.

How much you smoke? Really?

Like the whole thing?

You smoked a whole cigar?

Yeah.

Really?

Wait, you're not supposed to.

I don't know.

I mean, it comes in one whole thing. You're supposed to smoke it, right?

I guess so. But I feel like guys are always like, passing around and putting it out and like, you know.

It's not a doobie, man.

No, you're right. Okay. So you did that before, just before you came here? Yeah. You didn't smell like a cigar?

Well, I did it on the way to my house because I'm giving my truck. It needs to get fixed. I gave it to my friend, so now he's driving in my cigar.

I'm so glad I didn't lend.

And I've never had a cigar infested car before. So when he texts me saying, your car stinks, I was like, suffer. I've never, you know, like, you're buying my car, right? He's not buying it.

He's fixing borrowing us. Oh, fixing it? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're paying.

He's making it do bigger burnouts. It's one of my favorite pastimes.

Burnouts.

Yeah.

Yeah. Where you just. What do you do?

Just bag the tires up and make smoke everywhere? Make loud noises? I'm a moron. I'm like a 12 year old.

I know you are. That's what I love about you. Because what if you guys don't know who Jason Ellis is? Which I can't imagine you don't. We have a ton of listeners from Australia, by the way. Yeah. So you could say hi to your people.

Oh, man.

From Australia. Right. But you've been here for how long.

26 years or something.

Got it. But you still have a hot accent satellite radio host. You guys are all listening to podcasts. You have to check out his podcast, which is the Ellistronics. Ellis Tronic. That's Ellistronics. You're also on SiriusXM five frigging days a week. Speaking for three hours.

Yep. Three and a half hours.

And that's your own channel.

Is this your own channel? Nah, it's the Jason Ellis show on Faction Talk. And I used to be on Faction Music. And then because the show Got so big they moved me to a talk channel and then they named it Faction Talk. So it's kind of like I'm the headliner of it, but it's not my channel. I just.

Okay. But it kinda is, in a way. You're probably the best one. Yeah. So how. What. What time is it? I don't have that anymore.

Eight in the morning. Eight till eleven. Fifteen in the morning Pacific time, which is eleven to one or whatever Eastern. And then there's a replay on faction 41, which is 1 to 4pm Pacific.

Got it, people. And then also, these are just the other things you need to know. Professional skateboarder, mixed martial arts fighter, truck racer, boxer, rock singer, actor, author, cigar smoker. That's a deviant. I love it. I love everything about you and I love that you like. I was just checking out your Twitter. Like they play your replay of your show and people are like, why isn't there a replay? Like, people are obsessed.

Yes, I know.

Like every day, three hours you're talking. And your podcast, they just love it.

I can't handle all of them because if it doesn't work, it's all my fault.

True, it is all your fault. But people want you. Like they can't get enough of you.

I don't know about that, but I'm very happy that people like the show. I'm very, very fortunate.

Yeah, well, you came highly recommended, so that's why I went on your show the first time. I think I went out like a year ago and then recently. And it was a good time, so. Okay, so you're. We were just saying that you are in a. You're in a good place right now.

Yeah.

You just kicked out this weekend. Best place ever.

Yep.

You're newly sober.

Yep.

Ish.

11 months and 4 days now, so Almost a year.

I'm proud of you. Yeah. Been through a lot of birthday.

It's going to be.

When's your birthday?

When or the sober birthday?

Oh, that birthday.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a big. When you're 45, your sober birthdays are far more exciting than actually.

I get it. I get it. So. Well, congratulations on all that. So you said you're like a kid. Like you're playing around, right? All the things that you do. You're like. You are.

I'm an organized child.

Are you that organized?

Yeah. Yeah. I run schools.

You seem like it. Yeah. You make shit happen.

Hell yeah.

How's your relationship? Because we talk a lot about sex, so. So Jason does all he's been doing all these amazing things just won a big fight this weekend. And I think it's incredible what you've been through. And I love talking to you about your sex life. Cause I'm always intrigued.

I'm super open. So go for it.

I love it. Well, okay. So when I first met you, like, a year ago on your podcast, I didn't know anything. All I knew was Dr. Drew. We played this game. I talked about this. We were on, like, his radio show, and it was like. It kind of was like that fuck, marry, kill game, you know? And it was like, it came out, like, of all the men in the world, like, he would marry you, like, he loved you, Dr. Drew. And I was like, oh. And I expected something different, like, from when I met you. Like, I don't know what I expected.

I don't know what Dr. Drew's.

No, you don't. Like, you're handsome, tattooed, strong, sexy man.

You think he'd be into a little bit more of a girly man?

No, I don't know what. And then just that you were so. Well, no. Cause really, what happened was I walked into your first show, and I really didn't know that, and you said, oh, yeah. So what do you think about, like, my girlfriend, like. Or she pegged me. What do you think about pegging? That's what it was. I was like, we're going there. I just didn't think that the guy that Drew wanted to, like, marry. Well, maybe that makes more sense that you were into that. And then we talked about your sex life and that you were just more open, exploring.

I think Drew finds me attractive because he knows I'm a guy that is up for anything. And he has a lot of quirks about doing stuff.

Exactly.

And he wants to go somebody that is so free. I think that's what he's attracted to.

You're right. Yeah, I get it. I guess it all makes sense now, right? So then. And then I came back to see. Oh, you're with your girlfriend now. Your wife?

Yeah. No, not yet. We're married. August.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's a big year.

Yeah, right?

Yeah. I'm happy for you.

Yeah, me too.

And we just talked about how's it you said, so right now your sex life is a little. You've taken a pause while you were working out, getting ready for the fight.

It's not by choice. It's just my sex drive has gone down dramatically because I think that every bit of testosterone that I have, I put into the gym. When you're 45 and you train to be a mixed martial artist. You know, everybody in the gym is at least 10 years younger than me, maybe younger. And they're probably, most of them are better than me because that's their life. And you know, I mean, I'm a guy that used to be a pro skateboarder, that is a radio host who's broken like 30 bones and been knocked out and tendons and all this. So I have a lot of injuries, a lot of other stuff that I have to deal with. When you put in the effort that it takes to fight three five minute rounds, it's a lot, it's a lot of cardio. It's a lot of like. And it's not just normal cardio. Like, can I run for an hour? Of course I can run for an hour. But can you sprint for, you know, I mean, for a minute and then rest for a minute? It takes a lot.

And your body last two months, you've been doing this intense.

Yeah, I mean, I've been training, but to train for a fight's a different thing entirely.

Yeah.

And it's very demanding and you need recovery time. And I have a job, I have two kids, I actually have like four jobs and I run a lot of other businesses and you know, I'm a good fiance. I work hard on trying to keep a lot of people happy and I got a lot of arguments that I have to have with other businesses and companies to keep going because I handle my own shit most of the time. So you can cuss, right?

Fuck yeah.

Okay, so you need your rest, you need to, your diet and all this stuff needs to be critical, you know what I mean? So it takes a lot, a real serious amount of energy to. It's not a 25 year old, it's a 45 year old. So when I get my, I have to get my rest. So to try and be involved in sex after dinner, that's like another hour where I could be asleep.

True.

And that's just. I know that sounds really cold.

You gotta pick and choose. But, but here's my question for you. When you said you're trying to keep everyone else happy, are you happy?

Yeah, I mean, I'm happy keeping people happy. And I'm not talking about everybody. No, I mean like my, my, you.

Came here today, maybe you wouldn't have.

To, you know, but it ain't going to. If it's going to break me, I ain't coming.

Right?

It ain't going to break me. You know, I'm smart, I'm calculated with things. Can I do it? Can I take care of my. Like, I'll tell my fiance. I'm like, I can't move. I'm like, I cannot move today. Like I'm just going to sit here and ice myself. Maybe I'll get up and I'll go in to the cryo place and freeze my body.

That's amazing.

But that's it. Like I can't move. And then I'll sleep and then I'll. And then I'm okay the next day. And that's how our team works. She knows that I don't bullshit. Like, if I can't walk, it's cuz I can't walk.

Right.

That's the end of it.

Would you say this is your. The healthiest relationship you've been in?

Yeah. Well, that's not really saying too much because all of them have been pretty bad. But this is the first time I've ever been completely honest with myself and with my partner in every single aspect of a relationship.

Tell me more about that.

I mean, we were just talking about bachelor parties today on my show, and I was like, if you have a bachelor party where you can't tell your future wife what you did at your bachelor party, you shouldn't be getting married.

I so agree with you.

So if you need to go to a strip club secretly, or you think it's necessary to have sex with a prostitute, then you shouldn't get married. I like, you should just like, for me, they're like, you know, you're getting married in two months. What are you gonna do for a bachelor party? I'm like, I don't have a bachelor party. What the hell is that?

My entire life was a bachelor party. My.

My entire life is still a bachelor party. The day after the wedding. It doesn't. I get to do whatever I want.

Right. Because you guys are like an open relationship still.

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't get that crazy because we can't because we're allowed to. And the novelty is worn off. It's like we could have sex with everybody and everybody, everybody wants to have sex with us. Let's do that. And then, you know, the, the drama that comes with it and the conversations with people because usually, you know, not.

It's very rare to talk to them.

It's rare to want to have sex with a couple or with another girl or another guy. And they don't have an issue. Look, we're very stable and we're super open and we have no fear when it Comes, like, obviously make sure you don't have any diseases or anything. But once that's, Once that's clear, we'll do anything with you, right? And then the next day, there's no weird hang up. Like, I don't. You could have a bigger dick. Or she could have. She could be the hottest chick in the world. I don't care. Like, I. Like, you're coming home with me and that's the end of it.

But how did you get to that place, would you say? In the past, you said your relationships weren't as healthy, but because we have a lot of questions, a lot of people ask us, should I be in a relationship? How does my wife get over jealousy or I'm jealous, or how did you get to this place?

You just got to be comfortable with yourself and you got to. You got to trust your partner. And I mean, when I was younger, it never really worked. If people ask me, you know, should I. Should I get. Have a threesome? I would just say, honestly, if I have, because it's a stupid question you should be asking me. She could ask yourself. But if you're asking me, I would say no. Because if you're asking and then there's a little bit of hesitation, then you've got drama on your hands. And if you really love the person you're with, do you want to add drama to it so that you can have an extra pussy in the scene?

Because it doesn't solve right.

And it's, it's. It's kind of overrated.

Tell me more about that.

Well, I don't know, like, very. I mean, I've had three. I've had so many orgies and threesomes and dicks and pussies everywhere, right. And probably one hand, I can count the ones where I was like, that was amazing. And there was no backlash from it, Right.

The rest of it, you gotta be really right heading into these things. Maybe it's part of the process. You learn from them, you know, each one, I guess you learn how to do it better. But you're right, people are like, that's like the holy grail. Cause they just want something other than what they have. That's right. They want the newness. They want something different. So it also comes with experimenting. Age at 25, you couldn't have felt this way because you wouldn't have had all those orgies and pussies.

Well, I also think you don't, you know, there comes like a, you know, wisdom, you know, when you're 25, you're like, maybe that maybe she does like him more than she likes me or, you know, or, you know, a girl that I haven't slept with. Like, I want to have sex with her more than I want to have sex with the girl that I'm with because I've never had sex with this girl. And then the girl that I'm with is like, wait, you're paying too much attention to her. This is a. This is. This is a. No, do not do this.

Right.

You can't. If the girl's like, you're pumping that girl too much, then you shouldn't be pumping anybody.

Exactly.

Because that. You're looking at it the wrong way. It's like, I want. If somebody's fucking my fiance really good. Good. We didn't get into this for him to fuck her poorly.

Right?

Like, we're.

That's such a healthy attitude. People don't understand that, but they can't walk through it because they haven't had. We have, like, three questions out of here about.

That's what it is. You're like, I want to have a threesome for me.

Right? And I.

Most guys have sex with a girl and another girl because they want to have sex with two pussies and feel like the king of the world, and they don't care what they have to do to drag their significant other into this thing. And a lot of sad stories are that the girl is okay with it to keep the man.

And that's not the best solution.

It's the worst solution.

The worst. So what would you tell a guy then? Because. Yes, now every guy's emailing me now about her calling. Is 45. They're like, in their 20s. Can you have this wisdom then? Like, do you think that you would have known this? I mean, I'm telling couples all the time, wait till you're on solid ground. You don't have a threesome to solve your relationship. I'm always, you know, we talk about this on the show, but we're on the same page with this. But I don't know how else they're still going to want to do it. It's almost like you had to go through that. I can let people make their own mistakes, but I'm telling you now, if you love your partner and you're with them and you guys are in a good place, but you just need to spice things up, that's not the right way to do it.

No. No. It's a risky move, to say the least.

Oh, I wanted to go back to the bachelor party thing, just real quick. I think that's really smart, too. Again, that's the other thing, though. Like, the whole Guys are like, I want to. Even girls in their bachelorette parties, they're like, this is why I'm doing it, because I can never tell my partner again. They have this idea that once they get married, they. That's when they stop experimenting and stop doing all the stuff that's crazy and fun and exciting. But it doesn't have to be that way.

It's the opposite, right? I'm gonna get mad. Wait. I'm gonna get wild one more time before I get married and spend the rest of my lame life with you. Like, wait, what?

Right? It's like, I don't know where that comes from. Society. No one's talking about this, really.

I think it's because. Cause we talked about it today. I think it's because when people got married when they were younger, and it was like, maybe this is. It is too soon. And when you get married, you are giving up your life. Things have changed now. You get married when you're older, a little more stable. This is not the end of it for you, you know, this is not the end of the road. This is the beginning. I think if you're 20 and you're gonna get married, you know, and you're under the impression that this is the only person you're gonna have sex with for the rest of your life, and you're 20, that's some harsh.

I know.

I might want to get drunk and have sex with a prostitute, too. That sounds, like, terrifying.

I just say people shouldn't get married before 30, at least.

I agree completely.

Right? Like, what you don't know yourself. But they don't know that. They don't know their self. They're so in love.

It's the first thing I say. I mean, Rocky, I'm not sure what to do. I'm like, how old are you? And if it's under 30, it's hard for me not to laugh at them.

Right. Do you get these questions?

You don't understand. I really love her. I'm like, you're 25. You don't even know what really loving anyone is.

Exactly. Yeah, it's a mistake. But, you know, people have to go through their own things. They meet someone, they learn, and they're like, oh, now I.

The hard way. Sometimes that's the only way you learn it is.

Well, I love it. You see? Seem like you're, you know, in a good place. So you Guys are not. Can we go back to your sex life for a minute? So we were talking about. I love your. Even if it's right now, you're. Yeah, it's still there.

No, we. We didn't have sex for maybe two weeks before the fight. We played around a little bit, but no, actual. In the end, it was like, maybe we could. In the last two weeks, I was just like, you know what? I'm not gonna actually come. I'm just gonna hold it off because I just felt super low in sex drive. So that told me. And this could be. I'm not a doctor. I felt like if I'm super low in texture sex drive, then my testosterone is being tapped to the max, so I'm not going to lose anything. And then I had this theory that if I get an erection a bunch of times, see some hot shit, look at my girl from a different angle, get her friends to, like, take their tops off, get a boner, and then leave and go to the gym. That's building more testosterone, right? I'm farming more testosterone.

So that's what you would do. You'd come to the point of not even.

Not close to orgasm, but you just.

Get turned on and then you go to the gym.

Yep.

God. It's like having a cup of coffee, but better in a way.

Like a joke, something like that. I just Adding it.

I get it. No, it's good that she.

And then the last couple of days was getting pretty close, and I was like, I'm just still not gonna do it. And then she knew. The last two days, we didn't even touch each other. And then the night after the. The night of the fight, we had some friends over in. Things could have happened, but I was. I mean, I still had blood pouring out of my face.

I mean, you've been through. Yeah.

So they left, which I was okay with, because I was still. That's the other thing. I figured after the fight, we're gonna have, you know, I'm gonna do this, can do that. But the fight didn't go the way that I thought it would go. It went to the very bitter end. And I was drained. So I got to have sex the next morning. And that was really cool because it had been two weeks, and since then, we have not had time to do it. But it's coming.

I know you guys. I'm sure you will. I gave you a lot of sex toys last time I was in your. Do you remember this? I gave you all the sports sheets.

I've got them.

Okay. Awesome. Okay, I want to talk to you about masturbation real quick. It's masturbation month and we had a bunch of questions that came in. So here's the thing. Okay? So everyone, what Jason is talking about, he just came in. He's been knocked out. He won a huge fight this week, last weekend. Just didn't. What was the name of your fight?

It was a king of the cage fight.

Okay.

It's like, it was huge and it.

Was like you got knocked out at the beginning. You came back.

I didn't get knocked out. I got knocked out.

I don't see. I don't want to talk about it because it's like a chick talk about sports. I suck at it. But you did something awesome and you came back, right? Okay. So proud of you for that. But masturbation. So think back before the fight, before the training. How often do you masturbate?

Well, I masturbate in the steam room all the time because guys try to jerk me off or whatever. So there's that kind of thing that happens, but I don't finish myself off. I don't really want to say the actual statement.

You got it right. Okay. You're right. Because, well, maybe you'll get a lot more blowjobs.

I get a lot of blowjobs.

You do. You just. And you just don't even know.

I'm the hottest person in. It's like being a pretty girl. I know what it's like kind of to be an attractive lady.

Right, Right.

Because when I go there, everybody shits a brick and I'm like, this is fucking crazy. How can anybody, you know? I mean, I'm a chewed up man. It's kind of weird. You walk around there because I have a very straight, large penis. Well, that too. But I have a straight and I'm uncut. And that seems to be a thing that gay guys love as well. There's like a. I have all the things that a gay guy's really into. Being straight, they love that. Having a big dick, it's uncut, all those things. And I look buff. I've got a lot of tattoos. I look like a warrior of sorts. Gay guys love that shit.

I love it.

So there's just a constant, like, I get like a little harem of gay guys following me into different steam rooms, like, trying to jerk off in front of me and stuff. And I'm just a. I am like a stuck up, pretty lady. Like, I don't touch anybody. I just sit there and they're like.

Can I give you. Right.

Yeah. And then I'll like, maybe let somebody jerk me off or maybe blow me if you're lucky, like a. Like a stuck up little bitch.

And this was not you a year ago.

No, I mean, it might have been. I just didn't tell anybody.

Okay.

Right.

But now you've come out, you got so. I mean, this is like the whole. What an amazing transformation.

I'm allowed to. I know. This story gets told to my fiance when I get home from it. So this is.

No, see, this is what we're saying is that you shouldn't get married to someone that you can't share all these stories with. And people are like, but I couldn't. But you can. You really can find someone that would be. I. I've yet to. I haven't really been looking for it, but now it's a longer story about what I want. But I get that this is what I would want. I don't want any secrets. I don't want to cheat. I used to cheat.

It's hard. Like, I mean, I was squeezed to tell the truth. I felt like. Even when she was like, you can tell me anything, I was like, I don't. Not this one. I mean, you gotta admit the story I just told you right then. I don't think a lot of women find me attractive when I say that.

About what the men think about me. You're saying that it's sexy when you say it. See, I get it that women might.

You know what I mean? But my fiance thinks that it's hard. And we laugh about it. We laugh about guys that, you know, I'll be like, this guy came in and had like a giant dick and just sat in the corner and she's like. Cause she loves the time of Finland stuff. She's super into the gay guy with the big buff gay guys that wear like leather chaps and stuff. She's kind of a gay guy. That's why it works out. But if there's anybody that's really big in there, I'll tell her the story when I get home. And she just thinks that it's the funniest shit ever. And we laugh about it.

Right? That's. That's awesome. And she's with women and men.

Mm. She made out with a. I was making. After my fight, one of my friends, she's in porn. She cut her. She got her. Her tongue cut, so it's like a snake. And I made out with her. That was all we did. We made out with her. But she's got a. She's got a split tongue. She's so hot.

She's got it split. I don't know that. I don't know what that is.

Like a serpent. Her tongue goes like this.

But she cut it, so it would do. Yeah, yeah, I've kind of heard about that.

Stitched and then stitched up so it's permanent like that. And she can make both, like, sides move around.

That's fucking crazy.

I know. I'm gonna get a blowjob from her.

You did. Are you going to.

It was. There was people in the room. It was inappropriate time, but it's coming.

Okay. I believe. I believe that. I believe that you could probably get a blowjob.

She said she.

Which is a pretty good place to.

Be in the world by a serpent.

Dude. I don't know anyone else who's done that.

It's so metal, right?

Yeah, dude. I mean, I don't even know. But you're happy and getting lots of blow jobs, and I'm really happy for you.

Thank you. Appreciate it.

Here's the thing about masturbation. You know this.

Yes.

I think probably people are like, why do you need a month for masturbation? I didn't make it up. Why do you need what, a month for masturbation? I didn't make up masturbation.

Why not?

However, I should have. I didn't think of it. I didn't make up anal. August.

It's good to teach yourself you have to come fast if you masturbate.

Exactly. So let's talk about some of your masturbation things that you've learned through masturbation. Because. Yeah, let's go. Because people. Let's go with that. But people. Guys don't get it. They're like, I can just come this way. What do I need to know about masturbation? How can it improve my sex life? Understanding of my body? You've done. Talk to me, Jason.

Well, I've got a jacket, so that's cheating. I don't need lube. I could just jerk off in my foreskin.

Right.

So that's. I've noticed a lot of guys that are cut need to add a lot of lube to stuff.

Well, that's for. Fine. That's all right. We love lube. Hair and lube.

Well, I mean, lube works for me, too. I'm just saying there isn't enough.

You're lucky that you don't need lube.

Yeah.

Because you can.

It's kind of like jacking off another T shirt. Okay, that actually wouldn't work, but it works for me.

I get it. Okay, so you. Anyway, I need her to practice.

I feel like for me, especially when I was.

Drinking and smoking weed every day, when I first got sober, I started coming early. I didn't have the control that I used to have for months. And it was freaking me out. I was fucking like a 20 year old again. I was like, man, I was thinking of other things while I was having sex to try to slow it down. I was like, are you seriously doing.

That for a mustache?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started. Because I can't spell stuff, so I started spelling things. That slowed it down big time.

This word. Is there an apostrophe? Okay, so you. So because a lot of guys, they premature ejaculate. They don't know. So it was after a minute, 30 seconds.

Wait, having like. Well, in general, jerking off is different. Jerking off. I can jerk off for 15, 20 minutes. I can come in in two minutes. Big. That's.

You're saying during sex?

During sex, usually I could. I would let Katie come two times, and then I'll go right this time for at least two months. She's about to come the first time, and I'm spelling in my head because I'm gonna come right?

And that's after whatever half the time that it used to be.

Yeah, yeah.

What'd you do? Tell me about your technique. You sat down with a cut member?

Yeah, I just go back to edging myself. Like, I would jerk off till I was about to come and then I would stop, let it go down a little bit, and then jerk off again and just keep pacing myself.

How many days do you have to do that for in a row? You gotta be. Stick with it.

Like over, like a month.

See, this is like.

I do it all the time.

Right. So, guys, do we have some questions? Did we have a question about this? I feel like we did. Maybe about edging or. Cause edging is when you get to the point. Guys, I gotta practice this. You can't do it once and be like, it didn't work. Oh, I still come quickly. Like a discipline. But you're masturbating anyway.

How do you shoot hoops?

Right?

You know what I mean? Like, you just like go over there and shoot it and it goes in over and over again. No.

Right. So you kept going. Exactly. So you start masturbating your home and you're like, of course you want to come, but then you're about to and you stop. It's like, ejaculatory. Control, learning that point of no return. So you successfully did that and now you're back.

Yeah. And then things just not. It wasn't overnight. I would say it was longer than that, really, like. Because I feel like I'd be in the clear. And then all of a sudden it would start again and I'd be like, wait, is this going to happen again? It was probably six months, really, of, you know, me with. Things would get hot and heavy, and all of a sudden, you know, I mean, the sex would be good. And I'd be like, oh, my God. I'm like, I gotta stop. She's like, what? I'm like, I'm gonna come. She's like, really? Again? And I'm like, yeah, I know. So there was. And it used to be I was just like, porn star style. I'd just be like, how much more do you want?

Right.

Because I'll just keep going.

I will be here all night.

And then. And then I could make. And then I could pop when I wanted to, like a porn star. But not. Not for, like, I want to say longer than six months. It got to the point where I started to get angry about it. And she was like, it's okay. And I'm like, it's not okay.

And then you started doing the edging after that. That's what I'm trying to understand. So then you did the edging for like a month, too?

Yeah, probably longer.

Okay.

Just kept going. Just kept doing it. And then it's sort of like a frame of mind when I realized that there's that part where I know I can reach an orgasm. Then you're in a head space where I'll just stay in. In that spot before I come. And then you stay in there long enough, maybe a couple minutes. And then it's like a wave and you go past it. And then you can just stay in that.

You train your body. I love that because a lot, you know. Guys, should we go to the. Let's go to those questions on the. There was some good. You can help me with this because I don't have a penis, so. These are from Snapchat. I ask people on Snapchat. You do Snapchat all the time, too? All the time, yeah. Where are you on Snapchat?

I'm Ellis Mate, 41.

Every time I go to computer, I find it hard to resist porn sites. And I masturbate. How can I stop this? Do you have a problem with porn or do you watch porn?

Not a problem, but not really. I Mean, sometimes I watch porn. It's very. I'm so critical. So watching porn is. I usually end up making fun of somebody. So having sex while you're making fun of somebody doesn't really work. And as I said before, I'm not jerking off anymore. If I'm gonna have sex, I'm having sex. So jerking off in front of porn is once again wasting that.

But a lot of people have like these, you know, sex addiction or whatever. I mean I think that to stop watching, you know, resisting porn sites when you masturbate, it's like you just, it's. You gotta have discipline. Yeah. People, you just really that every time you go to the computer, you just go this time and you say, you know what? I'm, I'm not gonna do it. Like I know that I want to impulsively in this moment and I'm not. And then you wait five minutes and you have your go to site that you go to and that's not porn. Or take it off your, you know, you can't take it. You can put child safe locks in your computer.

I think it's ridiculous.

I'm kidding.

It's Snapchatting you about having a problem going to porn sites. You made the effort to hit you up, but you don't make the effort to not go on the porn site.

Right? Right, Exactly.

Like, if it's that much of a problem, don't go on there. It ain't tobacco. Don't try and tell me it's in your system and gives you the shakes for three days.

Right. I don't know. I know. That's what people got to do.

Eat a sandwich.

Exactly.

Buy your girlfriend some flowers.

So true. Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show. Thank you, Jason Ellis, for being here. You're awesome. Thanks for supporting my sponsors. Yeah, we love you. We'll be right back with the questions. We're going to answer your emails and change your life.

Okay. Jason Ellis, you're amazing. I love listening to you and your stories and I'm so glad you're going to help me because I get a lot of emails and questions from listeners. We're actually starting to take calls, which has been great. Everyone, you can just email me sexwithemily. Com. Click on the Ask Emily form, fill it out and if you wanna be called, we will call you. Just click the yes button or send your emails. This is an email show as you're gonna see. You can also text me your questions. Text ask Emily to 797-979. That's a whole new thing. We tried for 69, it wasn't available. I know. That was your next question. Um, okay. As always, include your information that will help me. Your, Your age, where you live, how you listen to the show. Here we go. Oh, I need my blowjob spray. So do you know what this blowjob spray is?

No.

Okay. You know when you're on the radio.

Like, you know you're gonna blow me.

I feel like it wouldn't be special. I mean, I know it would be awesome, but I feel like you get so many blowjobs now. I just feel like I. Oh man.

If I shut myself down kinda. Wait, you're spraying yourself with blowjob spray?

Because it helps with the. It helps with the. I don't wanna be like make that you know, my mouth. So I want to be my mouth to be well lubricated.

Wait, is there lube? You spray it in your mouth and.

There'S in your mouth. It's like. No, it makes sure it's so your mouth. It's dry mouth spray. It's by Doc Johnson. It's called Goodhead. So you can also give a good head or good radio. It's a twofer. You can have some.

Eh, I'd rather a blowjob.

I just feel like you could. So you'd be like, oh, like it wouldn't even be. Well, okay. I know that I'd be proud of my blowjobs.

I mean, that's pretty fucked up that you would say that.

You were just telling me about the people lying. There was a line of people I.

Said took everybody up on it.

I know.

I'm 45. I don't just get sucked off all day.

No, it doesn't sound like it. Just like on the weekends, every now.

And then I will have a suck off party. And that's one day.

Oh, well, maybe you can invite me to that one. I could just wait.

You're a special person to me and it wouldn't matter. I would definitely wouldn't have a bunch of blow jobs before you. But even if I did, you blow me would be a fucking extravaganza. It would be. Just know that I would have to reciprocate.

Yeah, okay. We could start there maybe.

I would prefer to start there.

My man. I love it. She comes to you.

I'm getting tingly in my pants.

I know, me too. This is so fun.

Okay, Jason, we'll readdress that. We'll address that again later. I'm losing my speech. But I have a Moist mouth. Hi, Emily. Love your show. I enjoy listening and get a lot of helpful tips to make my sex life way better. I got a question. My girlfriend and I really want to have a threesome, and we're talking about it, and we're getting really excited. We've never had a threesome before. And I'm going for she comes first, which is the whole thing I talk about on the show. She has to come first, which makes sex life great. How can I get into threesomes without giving one the feeling of being neglected? I want this to be a nice, relaxing time with lots of fun and no jealousy. What can we do? Thanks. Regards, George from Germany. We kind of touched on this earlier, but you. You are the threesome. I think we had a threesome once. You don't even remember. That's how many.

I didn't say that about it.

Okay, I'm kidding. But you've had a lot. And so this is like the kind of questions we could ask. We've been talking about it. We're both kind of excited. I think there's another question here. Like, another girl. His wife's not so excited. But anyway, let's say they are both. Let's. Let's say for the sake of this question, they're both really excited. They're on board. They've covered all the ground. They've set the rules. They've set the. Yeah, we can't kiss her or whatever.

Can I kiss.

I don't know. People make these rules. You can't have sex. I know. Because when you're in the moment, you.

Want to do it all threesome. Everyone has mouths and vaginas and buttholes.

Lots of orphans.

Everyone's gonna touch everything.

I gotcha. How do you do it? That's fun. And what have you learned?

Well, the first rule of threesome club is that if you. The other.

The.

The person that is the guest in this threesome, and I'm assuming there's a man and a girl here and then another girl, the other girl is last. She's the girl that doesn't get as much attention as your girl. Your girl gets the most attention. So you need to remember that at all times. And the second one would be, you need to make sure that there isn't a situation where one of them is sitting there out of the game. You need to make sure that they're both in play at all times.

How do you do that?

I mean, you've got a penis and a mouth, you know, I mean, so you should have connected to one of them.

Right. Or.

Or they're connected with each other and you're organizing that. And you can, like, tickle their. The bits that they have free.

Right.

But you're definitely. It's.

It's not about your penis.

No, I mean, you're the. I mean, you're the one. You're the only one there that has one. So of course it's gonna be about you in the end, by default.

Yeah. But in your brain, you got to prioritize.

You get too giddy. Guys get giddy and they start slamming into one of them and they. And they can't use their hands or their mouth well. Because their penis is busy. And that's. That's. That's a game that you need to learn quick. And you need to. And you also need to not come. You need to make sure that they come at least once each before you even think about it. I feel like, really, that you need an athletical penis. You need to be like, have you girls had enough orgasms? And then the end of the threesome is when you come. Unless you're, you know, a guy that can come and then. And keep it up. I don't know that guy. Because usually there's a break there.

Right? So there's a lot of men a little longer. Those are great rules. And also, I tell, you know, some. They establish rules ahead of time, meaning, or even. Are we both. Are we truly comfortable with this? And some couples say, look, I don't want her to sleep over, or, I don't want you to have penetration.

No, you don't want her to sleep in the bed.

Yeah, yeah, you don't want to sleep in the bed. Figure all that stuff out. And then. That's a great answer. I agree that you got to prioritize because that's how she'd get jealous if she thinks if you're kissing this girl for one second longer, she's going to be pissed at you. It's a good answer. Okay. Hi, Emily. My boyfriend and I are coming up on a year together and have recently started experimenting with adding toys to the mix. We've both used toys alone, but never with a partner. We are both loving the new freedom and exploration with no judgment. More recently, he was playing with me at toy and performing oral, which was amazing. But then he added himself inside me while the toy was inside me. When I started to have the big O, which happens intensely and multiple times, the toy begins to push out of me. Are there any suggestions for toys that may stay in place better and outlast the intense pushing and tightening of the muscles. And do you have any advice for more risque toys and oral sex tips besides in positions? Besides typical positions, Any advice would be great. Some of our new exciting play has been. Because we've been listening to your podcasts about four foreplay and partner masturbation.

Beth, 34, Pennsylvania isn't there like a. I mean, there's a plug that is like on a ball so you can sit on it. That way you can stick. You keep your pressure to keep it on. Or you could have those ones that stick on the wall so you can push up against it if it starts to come out.

Oh, like a. Like a vibrator that sticks on the wall or butt plug. You're talking both.

There's ones that stick on the wall. There's ones you can get on a ball. Like, so you sit on the ball and it's.

How come I don't. Instead of the ball, a vibrator that.

Sits on a ball.

I know, like, the sibian is the only thing that I know that you, like, sit on.

No, you can get, like, balls. So you blow up the ball and then the device sticks on the ball and then you sit over it.

So it's a suction, like, it's like coming up like a. Like a penis.

The one I had, we had as a butt plug that was attached to the ball. Yeah.

Okay, got it. So this is for. Right. There are butt plugs like that. That.

Or there's the chill dog. Do you know what a chill do is?

What's a chill do?

There's no way that's what it's called. It's just what my fiance calls it. But it's that dildo that you stick on your chin. This is like a really hard workout for your jaw, though. Licking pussy with a chill dough is. Is. Is probably one of the gnarliest jaw workouts I've ever had in my life.

But wait, you're licking your pussy and then you're putting the. The other dildo in her butt?

No, it's inside of her.

Yeah, so you're licking outside and using it.

You lick the clip while the chill does go advanced moves.

That's a good one.

But it's a chore workout, dude.

I know, but how are you even like. I'm trying to think the positioning of that.

You hold her legs up like that and then the chill, though, comes in and you're.

You like you're talking about. I don't even know the chill, though. I wonder if it's made of body safe silicone and if it's something I would talk about, we should find that. Find the chill, though. James. Okay, so I was going to say, first of all, do you know, well, this experience I have when I have orgasms, if I'm using like a G Spot toy, it pop. It does come out because you push your Kaggle monster's like, and it comes out. So I was gonna say a great one to wear because then his penis was inside and then the toy came out. She was saying the sink is a great one by WE Vibe, which is the couple's toy. And you wear it. It's a shape like a C. And you wear it. So she can wear it. It vibrates and it goes. It touches her G spot and her clitoris at the same time, and then his penis goes in. But the C sync is amazing. The WE Vibe sync because you can use remote control. You could use the remote. You can use your phone and control it, but it's vibrating the whole time and it's like clenched in so it can't move around. And it's penis. There's nothing with penis.

How's your penis get in there with that?

Because it's the same time because it's not thick. It's like. It's like the size of my thumb. But it's got a powerful vibration you don't like. The G Spot doesn't need anything huge against it. I mean, you would stay in there because it's like made of this sil. It's bendy. It's made of, like, silicone and, you know, like material that it adjusts to fit any size. Any size woman. So you like it clamps into place, but it's plastic and bendy. We have one in the. We'll get one in the closet. You can play with it. It's really fun. So I recommend the sink. I also think that. Okay, so when I first read this, Beth, I was thinking that maybe he was going down on you and the G Spot toy popped out. So I was gonna say my favorite G Spot toy I love is the Rave, also by WE Vibe Remote controlled toy. Same thing that you can control with your phone, whatever. But he could be holding that in place. So even if you're pushing it out, he's like, shove it back in. And it just hits your G spot like that. I love when that happens. I want to do an app called, like the G Spot locator app. So you can just find your G spot for a lot of people. It's hard. This toy does it. Okay. The other one, you'd love this one. It's the FT London has a brand I had to check before I talked about this to you guys if it was out and it just came out this week. There's the G pop. And the G pop. I gotta show you this as well. It stimulates the male prostate. The prostate, The P spot. Well, of course, men only men have a prostate. The P spot. And the G spot on the woman because it's the way it's ergonomically shaped and women's anally as well. So it looks like a. You can put it on your finger and it sticks out and it's got all these vibration patterns. It's super cool. How cool is the P spot?

Okay, what's this for?

Okay, that's for men, for your prostate.

Oh, okay.

And for women. So this is the thing going in.

No dick goes in a vagina with this. In the vagina at the same time?

No. Oh, that's the. That's the we vibe. Let's show them the unite or the sink in the closet. So I think.

Does this vibrate?

Yes.

Oh, yes.

We'll get you one.

Yeah.

Dude, you're going to leave with some cool special prizes.

Hell yeah.

Yeah. No, that's. That's brand new. So then they have one that's a butt plug that's on my desk over there. Just sitting there on my thing, my mirror thing. I think it was the butt plug maybe I put in my drawer. So they have another one that's a butt plug that's controlled by a ring. So it's. The FT London has a. What's it called? It's their G plug and their G ring. So the G ring is like your finger turns into a vibrator. You wear it like a ring and it controls this butt plug here, which isn't. Anyway, FT London, check it out. My website. Those are great oral positions for. Oh, that's the we butt.

I'm telling you.

Right?

Dude, I don't.

What? Okay, this goes in. He's looking at the we vibe.

Yeah, I just. This is the bit that's in the pussy. Right. And this sits on top.

Uh huh.

And your dick goes in there as well.

Yeah, well your dick can't.

But I'm not, I'm not.

It's big, but it's not like a.

So that would fit, right?

No way. I would kill my chick if I had that and my penis in there.

No. That is so thin. No, look at that.

Oh, I'm maxing her out. I'm absolutely positive of her. I wish she was here. I'd be like, babe, can I put that in?

But that is. Whatever. That's like, not even. That's like.

I don't know.

Okay. I mean, that's not.

Can I have this? Because I'm gonna try, but I can guarantee she'll be like, yeah. Are you serious? Try to put extra inside of this?

Yeah. I promise you. And that part of that. That part will go against your. It'll feel great to you.

I can put that on her and then I can bang her and I can have this in my butt at the same time.

Yes. And if you want. No shit, right? You can control it all on your phone.

I got stuff to do.

I know.

Wait, what's that? Why are you telling me to put my finger in there?

Okay, that's a G pop. And then there's the G. Okay, I got you.

I'm not banging myself with it. I say the G ring, too.

I just want to show you after that. This is a butt plug that you could wear during sex. And then it's remote controlled by their other vibrator. That's a finger vibe. Just. Just have a good time here. We're going to. You're going to need all of the fun stuff. So oral positions. Some. She wants some fun, like, risque oral positions. I don't know. I'm thinking sit on his face. Have you ever done that?

Yeah, that's pretty stuck. Okay.

Dude, not for everybody. Not everybody just sits on the face.

Really?

Yeah. No, I know. You're a kid. I love it.

Everybody has a bed, so it's like, they can, like, hold. Most people are just the bed mount thing. And then you can grab the. The boobs above you while you're. While you're getting sat on.

Exactly. Grab the boobs. You're getting sat on doggy style. That's okay. These are all going to be tame to you. But think of my audience. That is not Jason Ellis. Okay, so they're get. No, it's. And I would actually like to hear your. That vibrates, too. Is it vibrating?

What's. I think it's called the cow couch or something where you can. It depends on your penis, but if you kind of try to get hard beef. Try to angle your penis out of the back of your legs like a tail before it gets really hard, because otherwise it won't go back that way. And then you get blown from behind so it's like out of the back of you, like a tail.

But wouldn't that hurt if it's bending the other way?

Yeah, but not if you. But you could. If you.

Until you get hardy.

Yeah, but if you get it hard pointing backwards, it kind of stay. It can.

Stayed in stays. Okay. Yeah, that could be it. That could be something. And then also, you. You could get oral just doggy style. Like, that feels. I think people just don't think like this. Like, when you're on your. He could just come at you from behind. That's awesome. And then get on your knees. Giving a blow job. And where's the most. Where's the most unique place or the most creative position you've ever gotten a blowjob in? If you can remember, just go through your blowjobs. Index brain. Yeah, you. Oh.

The most creative place I've ever had a blow job.

I don't know. Or, like, position or way or memorable.

I mean, I can. For me, getting on my knees and having my legs spread is like the. If I can't come, that's like a guaranteed. That's my last resort where I can split myself. Which is funny. Cause I'll have my feet behind me. Oftentimes it'll take so long, and I'll have my feet behind me where I cut circulation off in my toes or whatever. But. So if I go on the couch, I can put my feet in the back of the cushions behind the couch so I don't wreck my ankles. Cause I've broke my ankles so many times. And then I can arch back. Back on the couch and like. Like push my dick out super far to the point where I'm looking backwards on the couch getting her. And then they could be on their knees on the ground in front of the couch. And that's how I get the blow job.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's like.

Okay, you can come sometimes. And your eyes. My ears are ringing. That's when I know I've had a really good one.

When your ears start ringing?

Yeah. God, I'm, like, deaf for, like, five minutes.

All right. That's like a good kind of thing, you know? It's gonna come back. Hopefully it will.

I don't care.

It does, really. If you have to go that way, if you have to lose your hearing or any kind of other thing.

I've heard it's peaceful.

Yeah.

A lot of deaf people don't want their hearing back, you know?

Exactly. My stepdad. I mean, I think he's, like, losing his hearing. He's like, I want to hear these women talk Everyone around me, women just chatting. I don't want to hear them.

I see that when I'm older.

Yeah, you're like, I'm done wanting to.

Hear who I am. Yeah, you guys are boring.

Okay, wait. Do we answer all your questions here, Beth? I think those are some good. Those are some good toys for you. Positioning. You're good. 69's a good one. Don't forget about that sitting on the face, doggy style. There we go. Okay, Emily, thanks for making a space where sex can be talked about in a way which is healthy, safe, and fun. I've been musing over whether or not an open relationship is a good or bad decision. My wife and I have been married for about a decade. Our sex life has definitely started to flatline. My brain, on the other hand, is wired for new experiences. Not necessarily with other people, but new experiments in the bedroom that light my brain on fire. Plus, my sex drive seems to be quadruple hers. I think we've had healthy conversations about this, but she's hesitant to try things. At one point, she suggests an open relationship, but she retracted. Our situation is causing some tension. An open relationship might release that for both of us. But I also don't want to treat the symptom and not the deeper problem, which might be a lack of sexual connection with my wife. Two questions. Are there ways to help make an open relationship healthy and more comfortable for her? And are there things we could do better to connect sexually? Thanks. Denzel, 29, Minneapolis. Yeah, he can't push this one. You can't push an open relationship on your partner. She's not on board. It's not just like a threesome or anal. Or anal. Thank you. Thank you, Jason. You actually can't push any of these things on your partner. You're not gonna talk her into it. You'll regret it. She won't really be on board. So I'm gonna answer your. Because it's gonna go wrong. Have you ever been in situations, Jason, in your past relationships, where you tried to force open relationships? They didn't want it. Or swinging. It didn't work right.

I've done everything incorrectly. That's how I know how to do it.

That's why you're the epitome of health right now. You can't make an open relationship healthy and comfortable for her unless she wants to do it. So you're not going to convince her. She's hesitant. She's gone back and forth. You love your wife. You want to stay together. So I can answer your question. What can we do to better connect sexually? Because that's where the problem is. Going out and having a threesome, open relationship. That's not going to heal your relationship. That's not going to feel better. You're going to go have sex with people, and I'm telling you it will not. And your wife probably won't because she's not feeling like she's having sex right now. It's not going to work. But to connect sexually, you got to just start the first. You got to start talking about it with her. Like, really, like, communicating with her about what? You know what? Because really, it's about enhancing intimacy. So if you guys have never talked about sex, and there are so many couples who just don't. Don't know how to talk about sex, it's not comfortable for them. We never learn the language, how to talk about. We think it's like this, it should be amazing. And when it's not, we don't know what to say. And then we cheat. We want to have a threesome, whatever. But you gotta say, like, babe, I love you. I love our relationship. Let's put that open relationship, like, let's take that off the table and let's talk about us. And like, what? You know, she might not even know what turns her on. You can go to a sex toy store, you can watch porn together. You can just talk about some hot sexual moments you've had together. Because I don't know what level your wife is at. Girlfriend, wife, your wife. I don't know where you guys are at. So you gotta just. Yeah, I mean, and then you could start, like, you could even take sex off the table if you guys are.

Like, might be a good idea to do that actually.

Right. And then start, like, exploring each other again.

She's just gonna think that's all you care about and it's all about sex. You have to talk about everything else but that you have to be a friend again. And a lot of girls say that they're not into sex or into certain things when it comes to. In the bedroom because they don't know about it and they'd rather just deny that they were even interested in it in the first place, I find. But if you get on their good side and then it's sort of like you're doing it together as a team and they're like, well, maybe I would like to initiate some stuff. Because now you're not going to be ridiculed for attempting to discuss something that in the bedroom, though, you're usually you'd be like, whoa, I didn't know you'd be into that kind of stuff. Like, I think girls get weird about that. They don't want to be the first person to bring it up. They don't want you to think that you're freaky in the bedroom because freaky in the bedroom's been related to. You're a slut.

Right?

They don't want to sound slutty so.

Bad for women because it's like, we can't win because then we're like, if we're super slutty, then people call us slutty, which is so wrong. I mean, and then if you, like, you're. You're not having any sex at all and you're prudent, like, it's just. There's no end of this. There's no right end for women except just to, like, do you and figure out what makes you.

I feel like being super romantic and all that stuff. And all that stuff that was awesome is the way, is the only way. Like, if you're super understanding, romantic, and you do things that she would never see coming, that doesn't involve your dick, then other things like that maybe later on they come later or maybe they don't. But I guarantee your relationship will be better, right?

I mean, there's something going on. After 10 years together.

He's only 28, too. He's like, come on.

Oh, yeah. He's 29, so, yeah, there's some things that are harboring. You're probably like, she's upset about some things. She doesn't even realize it. Who knows what's been happening? So you guys gotta unearth whatever is holding her back from this intimacy. And then when I say take sex off the table, what I meant was also, I like the idea of the romantic gestures. But, like, say, like, let's just start with the foreplay again. Let's start making out. Let's start doing. Exploring each other's bodies of rotten stones again and build up to, like, how great it was at the beginning. You can bring that back.

Girls you really love when you don't just go for the pussy. Yes, they love. I can't believe how long it took me for me to figure this one out. But you can do stuff to them where you kiss them and kiss their neck and, like, tickle their legs and their feet and stuff. And don't touch their pussy, don't touch their tits, don't touch too close to their asshole. Like, you could touch the butt, but even that, you're getting too close. But you can go every now and then, if you go near their belly, which is near their vagina, you back off again. All those ones go, yeah, but I just wouldn't. I would never know, which makes me feel like a lot of guys don't. It's like. It's like we're making out. Okay. The making out is getting pretty serious. So I should probably start grabbing your pussy.

Exactly. Dude, I've been talking about this for 12 years. I'm like, don't go straight for it. So how did you. How did you learn this? Just from.

I learned this is cheating. But I learned from a lesbian friend of mine that was super into my girlfriend and would do this stuff. And it was the first time she told me about it. I was insulted. I didn't like that she was telling me what I should do with my fiance with my girlfriend at the time that would make me better in the bedroom. I'm like, I know how to fuck my girlfriend.

This is. Bitch, like, you don't know, right?

But then I started applying it. It turns out she was spot on because girls know girls. It's like, guys know how to suck.

Sorry. No, we know. We want the teasing. And I think that guys, when I say this to them, they. I've said this for a million times. Like, we. The last thing we want is when we're making out for you. Go right for it. And this still happens with men that I've been with all ages. And I love that you finally learned this. And so it's more like the teasing thing. You realize that's what we're talking about. Arousal that will build. And in fact, you'll have to do less work in the end because she's so freaking turned on. You want her, like, being like, I need you to touch me right now. How did you learn this?

Doesn't mean I still haven't gone back to my old school methods of grabbing the pussy.

Of course. And I'm not saying you should never grab kids.

Sometimes I'm in a hurry.

Yeah. Yeah. Nothing wrong with the quickie. Nothing wrong with grabbing it. But this. This buildup that just got me thinking about it, That's.

That's how I win. I control. You're winning the pussy by not grabbing the pussy.

Exactly.

Sound like you could.

You could say it all you want and that's it. Don't grab it to get it.

That's right.

This is a whole new thing. I mean, I feel like I've been talking about it, but it's Almost like I probably need to explain it in a different way. And having you on and you the.

Success the caveman way.

Okay, we got time for another email here, Jason, and then we'll let you go. Hey, Emily. I love the podcast. I'm not always in the mood for sex, and I've recently discovered a few things that turn me on. My wife and I listen to your podcast in bed before starting the act. I read sexy forums online, and I definitely feel like my sex life increased after a strip club visit because the strip club visit turned me on. I've tried to convince my wife that we should go to a strip club together. However, she is fearful out of both jealousy and her own negative body image. So, two questions to work on increasing my sex drive. Any idea how I can help my wife feel comfortable with my exploration about strip clubs and stuff? And any further tips how I can increase my own sex Drive? Thanks, Mike. 33, Southfield, Michigan. Which is where I'm from. What up, Mike? In Southfield, Michigan. Okay, so she's not cool with the strip club thing. Have you ever, like, had. You're trying to convince to go to the strip club. Here's the thing. You're not gonna. This is like the threesome. You're not gonna convince her to go to. You're not gonna convince her to go to strip club. You're not gonna be able to make her feel comfortable with that. This all starts with work that you have to do with her together at home, making her feel safe. If she's got jealousy and she's got body images, the last thing you want to do is take her to her goddamn strip club. God damn.

I mean, she doesn't want to go because she has an insecurity with her body and she thinks that people at the strip club have a better body than her. That's why she doesn't want to go. And she sure as hell doesn't want to go with him.

Right? And I don't blame her if that's her issue. You can't help her get through that. I mean, you can help her get through that, but no matter how many times you know, she's hot and she's sexy and you want her, like, for women it's an inside job and for men to get your self esteem. And so, you know, I talk about that a lot on the show. Like, I don't know where, you know, it comes from so many different places. But if it's really, you know, she really can't, you know, she doesn't want to explore sexually. She doesn't want to have sex because this negative body images bring her down. She might need some work, some therapy. Figure out what makes her feel, you know, figure out.

Which means going to a strip club is not going to be helping her at all.

Exactly. And then how do you increase your own sex drive? Dude, I feel like you said you're eating healthier at the beginning. You've been at the beginning. He said he's been doing some diet change, exercise. I didn't get into this part, but I feel like you're already doing that. And you're 33. So I feel like your sex drive is on its way. And if most people have a low sex drive because of anxiety, if you're taking some kind of medications, age, but you're 33, so I'm not going to tell you. Take testosterone and I don't even know. I mean, it's true. Don't you think? When you're healthier and you start eating and less stress in your life. So there's really nothing that I can tell you to do other than what you're already doing and not to like be obsessing about your sex drive because.

I really think sleep is really important too.

Sleep.

Like, as a guy that trains all the time, I would. If I'm sore going to the gym and taking a bunch of protein versus getting a good night's sleep is which one do I pick? I pick sleep every time. So did my trainers, everybody. If you burn out, I get told to go home and go to sleep. Like, I don't give a shit, man. Don't come to the gym. Don't come for two days. Get eight, eight and a half, nine. Scientifically proven that, like, some of the real fighters get nine and a half hours sleep. I'm like nine a house. Do you know how much work I do, dude? He's like, look, I'm just telling you, if that's what you want, that's what you need to get. Figure out a way to get it every now and then and you will benefit from it. So you've been doing that when I. You know what? There was times there where I was going to bed early and trying to get. I could do nine. Nine was as long as I could go.

Yeah.

Just because habit of. I wanted to get up. But you know, transcendental meditation is like. Like a nap as well. So I do both.

I do that too twice a day. Do you do it?

I do twice a day when I'm doing it. Otherwise it's Hard to stick with it.

But I finally am after 20 years. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, here's the thing, Mike. I feel like you don't want to. Yeah. Don't go to strip club and with her and just. You're so. Don't go at all with her. Yeah, just don't, like.

I think she's going to know.

Oh, here's the other thing about it. Yeah. You guys, I think you guys, if you're into that. What is it? Yeah, if you're into the role play. I mean, if you're into strip clubs, bring some of that home, like, watch some porn with her, like do some role playing, do some stripping. Like have her. Get her to feel sexy. Go shopping for things that make her feel sexy. Play with your. Play with each other. Don't go outside the relationship. That's what I got to say. Thank you, Michael. Mike. Hi.

Hey.

Thanks, Jason.

You're welcome. Thanks for having me.

You're awesome.

I like you.

It's really fun. I like you, too. And Jason Ellis, we can find you at the best places.

Your website, official Jason Ellis.com or Wolf Mate on Instagram, Else May on Twitter and else mate41 on Snapchat. I answer everybody. Unless, of course, it's like, hey, man, you're awesome. It's kind of difficult when that happens the lot. I'm like, what do you want me to say? Yeah, that's a little egotistical. But if you ever need help, you any ask for anything, sobriety or any of that stuff, or any questions about the show or health, fitness, anything. If I feel like that you actually need advice, I'm there, man. My fiance constantly reminds me. She's like, I do not know how you do that. She tells other people. He will sit there for literally hours answering everybody that listens to his show because I know how I got here.

Yeah.

And I love SiriusXM, but they don't pay me because they find it in their hearts to give me the money. They do it because everybody listens to the show, so I owe them.

That's awesome. That's really cool. So you're saying if they email you questions or if they snap them or Email.

I don't have email. I mean, I have email, but I don't have any people. I just. I'm a social media maniac. My Snapchat, I answer everybody. My Instagram, if you DM me on Instagram, I answer it. Same with Twitter, I just answer everybody.

That's great. I've been doing that. I've been Doing that at Snapchat. And I'm starting to do that on Instagram. Not as much. I got to do it more on Twitter. That's good. That's smart. I love that.

I got boobs just before this show started.

You got boobs?

You really did. Sometimes. That's. No. And I sent boobs back. That's the kind of guy I am.

I play the game. I love it. No, it's true.

But I sent them.

Yeah. You what?

I sent my boobs back.

That's good.

She probably won't be that pumped, but that's, you know, you do what you got to do.

You do what you got to do. You're doing good. You're doing the good work.

I try.

You're awesome. Thank you. And thanks everyone for listening. I do. I answer your emails. I do. That's part of our show. And your snaps and your everything. Everyone, follow me all these across the board. We're gonna do a little video here.

Oh, cool.

And thank you, everyone. Thanks to my amazing team. And thanks, everyone for listening.

Oh, the podcast. Tell everyone to check out my podcast.

Check out your podcast.

That's a deal.

Duh. You guys are all podcast listeners. If you haven't checked out his podcast, you just gotta do that right now.

Tronics would be much appreciated. Every Friday.

Subscribe. It's awesome. I had a blast on there. Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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