Oral Sex Moves & Grooves with Call Her Daddy

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Emily if you use two hands on a man's penis, he is going to feel like he is the biggest penis in the world.

I think a lot of girls assume it's all about the deep throat.

It's.

It's really not.

But first of all, what if you're not into it? What if you're like, ugh, but it smells bad, it tastes bad. We get it all the time.

Absolutely. I think that a lot of girls.

Enjoy it when you're doing this.

This is the thing. I think that a main reason people don't like to do something is because they don't know how to do it or they're not good at it. So I say practice makes perfect.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by Alex Cooper and Sophia Franklin from the popular podcast Call Her Daddy. And we're talking about oral sex tips on both sides and why we all need to speak up a bit more in the bedroom. I'm also answering your emails. Topics include what is the Gluck Gluck 9000? And how do you do it? So Your partner is overly religious. How do you respect their faith and also get sexual? You're a woman who comes super fast ways you can slow things down and enjoy sex longer. And you just can't stop thinking about your ex. How do you stop the thoughts and focus on your current partner? All this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them. In a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. you're going to love our site. A lot more information on there to help you have the sex life, the relationship, the dating life that you all want and deserve. You can also find me Monday through Friday on SiriusXM satellite radio stars channel 109. It's 5 to 7pm Pacific and it's been awesome. You guys should totally call in. You can call in any night even if you don't have Sirius. You can call in 888, 9478277 or get a free 30 day trial at sexwithemily.comsxm and find us on all social media wherever you're at. It's with Emily across the board. All right, guys, I hope you enjoy the show. Oh, I'm so excited. My sexy guest just walked in. Hello. This is exciting. Okay, you guys, I have my guest Sophia Franklin and Alex Cooper. We're gonna get. We've had some tactical. It's been like Mercury's in retrograde in the studio the entire night so far.

Okay.

But it's only been 20 minutes, so it's all gonna work out. They do an awesome podcast called Call Her Daddy. It's callherdaddy. It's a podcast. You can find it everywhere. Call Her Daddy. It's Barstool Sports. They play it here on SiriusXM.

Yep.

It airs at 11pm Eastern on Barstool radio channel. And it's available on demand on the SiriusXM. And you guys are a blast. I love being on your podcast. Yes, but it'll come out soon. I get it.

It will. Yes.

Okay. Which is great. But last time. I gotta ask you something. Sophia, the delayed ejaculator. Just gimme an update. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Emily. Wait, that's so crazy.

You're asking.

Cause we recently just discovered Emily.

So I never talked to him about it, and I ended up talking to him about it, and. Because we're still dating.

Stop.

We're still dating. Okay?

And you know what he told me and you always say, like, to use communication, which I wasn't doing. I brought it up to him. I just assumed he was.

That was in February.

Okay.

Right.

So I talked to him about it and he was like, what are you talking about? He's like, you just never told me to come. And I was like, well, what do you mean? He was like. He's like, you've just never told me to do it. So then I was like, okay, well then show me.

And they had a quickie. And we had a quickie.

And he came in like 15 minutes.

I'm shocked. I could hang up my sex hat right now. Cause a delayed ejaculation. Like, to recap, you were dating a guy that did not. Like, he just took forever to come or he never came. What was it like?

Like it was forever.

It was a two to three hour situation.

Exhausting.

Two to three hours.

I'm tired again, hearing that.

Right.

Like, you don't even need to work out.

Yeah.

Like the sex is your workout every day. Yeah.

So it's kind of like a twofer. But which.

It was fun. I mean, it was fun, but there were times where I was like, okay, I can't be doing two to three hours every single time.

That's exhausting.

So finally you're just like, hey, I.

Brought it up to him. Which I wasn't bringing it up. Which was, you know, my fault, but I brought it up. And he was like, well, what are you talking about? He's like, I could come in five minutes if you want. And I was like, well, then show me. And he showed me.

I gotta say, this guy's just been elevated because a lot of guys don't have that kind of control.

I know. Yeah.

So he's a unicorn.

He is a unicorn. Okay, so, Alex, anything? Dating?

Oh, you know what? I've been dating almost a lot. We always joke. We're like research purposes.

Yes.

And I think it's terrifying to some guys. And We've talked about it with you. Where it's like, they know that I have this podcast. And so when I'm going out on dates, some of them try to pretend they don't know I have the podcast. It's 2019. You stalk people before you go on dates. You know, I have this show. So recently I've started been dating a guy that I think he was right up front and said, I've listened, and I think it's hilarious. And it's been way more successful than the guys that are like, so what do you do for a living?

Right.

And the guys, like, I talk about sex.

And the guys that do that, it always comes out.

Always.

Like, they'll say something that you're like, you would only know that from. Exactly.

I think we talked about the guys, like, idolizing. Well, your mom in Florida. I'm like, how do you know my mom's in Florida?

There you go.

Do you know that?

So that's good. So he's. That's what you want. You want someone to be down with what you're doing. Did you like him?

I do. I think I've realized that going into this business, it's gonna take a very confident man to be with us.

Very.

Because they're so insecure. If you hear about our show, you have to have some big kahunas to take it on.

Absolutely. And you'll be able to find them. I mean, I told you this, and this is still. You guys get this. I feel like they're like, my. We're all in the same boat.

I know.

Every day I get asked this the same thing. Is it hard? And I've met guys. It's not a problem. You're always going to meet the guys. Like, they're going to be confident. They're going to be. You'll meet a man. Yes, I agree.

Yeah.

They talk about sex. They're hilarious. I appreciate their art, what they do. They're amazing. And I'm great. We're going to have amazing chemistry, and I'm going to give her what she wants.

And if you can't handle it, then it wasn't mean to be any dude not attractive.

Okay. So how's your sex life going, though? Like, I need to know, like, why? What's. Tell me about it. What's. What's great about it?

I think that my sex life actually has gotten even better because of the podcast.

We're just going to ask you guys. Yeah.

So naturally, like, I know some girls, which we try to get our audience to Talk more about sex. And I know you do, too. It's like, there are so many girls that are so upset because they don't have girlfriends that they can be like, wait, how do you give him a blowjob? And what are you doing when you're on top?

Yeah.

And so, because we're so open about it and even more open because it's our show and it's our job now to talk about it, we have been, I think, exploring more options so that on Wednesday we can give people, you have a story.

Okay, so that makes so much sense. So your sex life actually mean. Yeah, it's gotten better.

I mean, absolutely. And we're having to sit there and be like, okay, so, like, what made this one experience so amazing? What made this sex so great? So we're sitting there, kind of detailing by detail, going through it.

Okay, so when I started my podcast, it was like, before I was even, like, went to school for sex. I was just like. When people would tell me they had amazing sex, I'm like, back up. What does that mean? So is that what you guys are like?

Yeah, I think.

I love that.

It's so good.

It is good. I think the first thing that we really hit with our audience was blowjobs. And because we realize you're graphic on this. No.

Like, dude, not a lot of girls know how to give a blowjob. They just don't.

And they. And I think that we always say, listen, like, it doesn't. You're not gonna not get a man. Cause you're not gon bed. But sex is a huge part of our relationship. However we've been. We taught girls how to do what we call as the Gluck Gluck 9000.

I don't think I know this.

Okay, it is.

This is.

It's the double hand, twist, gawk, gawk combo.

It's every man's kryptonite.

Go, Emily.

Emily. These girls are writing in saying, oh.

My God, this has changed my life.

This has changed my guide.

Did you guys. Is it. Did you make it?

It's on Urban Dictionary now.

People wrote it in.

You can look it up.

Yeah. So basically, think. A lot of girls did not, like we said, did not know how to give a blowjob. So we started with the basics, and we went so into detail. What to do with your hands, what to do with your mouth, the sloppiness, the saliva. Girls don't know how to give blowjobs. And I swear, you can give a blow job.

You know what?

Because I Watched their soul leave them when I give it. So I'm like, oh, my God. No, I'm kidding.

Okay.

But from personal experience, I didn't know. And Alex told me about the gluckluck.

And then I tried it and this.

Guy was like, what?

Where did they come from? Yeah, what is it? Tell me. I wish we had a. Like a.

Okay. So basically the hands.

Yeah.

The glove. Luck is contingent upon the hands. And we always tell girls, like, if you use two hands on a man's penis, he is going to feel like he is the biggest penis in the world. And the thing is, is even small penises, you can use two hands. You just use your index finger and your thumb and then you just get bigger each. As the penis gets bigger, the more fingers you put on it and the more grip. So if it's a small penis, your index finger and your thumb come together and then your left and your right hand, you go on top and then you're going twisting the double twist in opposite direction. So there's a 3,000 where you go in the same direction and then the 9,000, you take your hands and you go in opposite directions.

Yeah. I think a lot of girls assume it's all about the deep throat.

It's not.

It's really not.

I think the sloppiness is one of the biggest things that we've taught girls. And they had no idea. We're like the wetter. That thing is you need to act like you're in the desert dying for water and his dick is a bottle of Poland Spring and you are dying for that dick. And I know it's graphic. No, I know it's graphic. We're being graphic.

But Alex.

But you guys enjoy. No, you guys, it's seriously okay.

We're allowed to.

You're getting kicked off. It's a sex. No, I'm. But first of all, what if you're not into it? What if you're like, but the smell's bad, it tastes bad. We get it all the time.

Absolutely. I think that a lot of girls.

Enjoy it when you're doing this.

This is the thing. I think that a main reason people don't like to do something is because they don't know how to do it or they're not good at it. So I say practice makes perfect. Start practicing. Just say like, I want to try something on you, babe. Tell me if you like this. Because every guy is getting very, very average head. On a day to day basis, girls are just like doing one motion the whole Time. Going up and down.

Are they. I mean, a lot.

A lot of girls.

No, I'm trying to think. I just.

Yeah, the feedback.

You're doing a good service. Because if they don't. Yeah, you should use hand. Your usual play with the balls.

They don't even know to play with the balls.

You guys know about the frenulum, the underside of the penis? Like, this is the. For the tip. So here's the penis. Like, so this is the tip.

We're using a Sharpie, everyone.

So this is the tip, right? And then where the shaft meets the head, this underside is the frenulum. It's like your new best friend. Can you make it like the friend friend. Gluck, gluck 2000. But you lick that little circ. Is that part of it?

She's like, yes, I know. And even. Even, like the wiener hole. We joke, but, like, that is something you should. Every part of the penis, you should be stimulating. Even the side of his dick. I found a lot of guys, if you start licking on the side, they freak out. There's just so many layers that girls are only going up and down and thinking, that's a blow job. And I swear, if you start to incorporate the sloppiness, the wetness, it's going. Yeah, it's lube.

Have you guys used lube?

Oh, my gosh.

We brought you some lube, too.

We did.

Yes, of course.

And toys, because I know when I saw you.

Of course.

Thank you.

And I actually bought the Womanizer because I heard it on your show.

Okay.

And it changed my life.

Tell me.

It's amazing, right? I couldn't. I didn't like vibrators.

Really.

I wouldn't have orgasms. And then I tried the Womanizer, and I'm obsessed.

Oh, my God.

I'm so. It makes me so happy. Cause it's like a clit whisper, I call it.

It's, like, amazing.

It, like, indirectly stimulates your clitoris. Yeah. So are you guys. I know you're that. First of all, the blowjob thing is amazing. Now, what about oral, though? Like, what about guys going down on you?

Okay.

The Cooch goblin. The cooch gobbler combo.

We have the weirdest words. We put tit with everything, so it's easy to remember. The Cooch Gobbler Combo.

Cooch Gobbler. Okay.

Yes. So we've told guys kind of exactly.

How to do it.

So many girls were complaining. Guys were just going in there, putting their face in there, and just rubbering all over. And we were like, Women's clits are sensitive. So many guys don't understand that. And we gave them a play by play, the Cooch Gobblers. Like the figure 8 motion with your tongue. We told guys to hum on a girl's clit is actually like a great feeling.

And make out with it.

Make out with it. Start slow is a huge thing.

Yeah, you always gotta start slow.

I think a lot of guys didn't know the humming on the clit, which is again, it has to be done very correctly.

But if not every woman's gonna.

Not every.

Cause every woman's different.

Yes.

And that's the thing we tell guys. So start doing something. And if you feel her body tension.

Yes.

And guys I think are just as insecure, even if not more when they go down on a woman than a woman going down on a man. A guy doesn't with his ego, he doesn't want to be wrong. He goes down there, he think he knows he's doing. Sometimes he doesn't want to ask. They're at least our age, specifically.

Yeah.

I love when a guy's like, babe, do you like that? Absolutely. I'll tell him.

Do you feel like guys do ask or they don't ask enough?

I don't think.

Oh, I don't think guys ever ask.

So we're telling guys. They should, right? They should ask.

Younger guys do ask.

But then they don't want to feel insecure. They don't want to feel insecure. Like there's nobody. Right. Like they're like, I got to know the way. I'm a guy. Don't ask for directions. I already know what to do. They're like, no, I don't even know.

It is so hot when a man makes, you know he wants you to come and he's gonna do whatever it takes. And so if it means communicating with you, fine. I'm gonna ask you, look up at you. How does that feel? Do you want more stimulation on the clit? Do you want me to finger you? Etc.

So are there any fantasies you guys are into? Like things you want as a next level stuff you want to try? Anything like you've fantasized about or like.

I, I kind of have been into like the daddy daughter stuff. I think it's kind of fun. Which people don't like to talk about that. But I mean, our podcast is called Call.

It is Daddy. Call Her Daddy. Okay, you guys, Call Her Daddy is their podcast. You have to check it out. It' barstool sports at 11 o' clock on Saturdays. 11 in call her daddy. So that's hot though. Why do people want to talk about it?

Right?

Yeah.

Because they're like daddy daughters.

And that's the thing we always say.

It's like, you gotta get over that.

Fantasies don't mean you actually want that in real life. We've talked about rape fantasies with you. What do you talk about it?

Yeah, Co sex.

Yeah, Forced, Forced, Forced century. Forced sex. It's like you're role playing, not consensual sex.

Yeah, it's like role playing. And it doesn't mean we haven't talked.

About that on our show yet, but that's our plan.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think the thing is, is like, I think you guys should because I think it's so interesting that people. Yeah, right. Not all fantasies are actually. You want to get enacted. But the reason why role playing is great, it's like it's in the privacy of your home with your partner. But also it's like, like, why do you like it? Sophie, if you could explain it. Like, it's hot to be like the little girl.

But like dominant.

I know.

Just him being dominant.

And most women want.

Right.

And that's like what they want.

Do I really want a teacher?

Am I really thinking my dad?

Absolutely not. It's the dominant.

It's like him taking charge.

Him taking charge.

Fantasy for women is that men that they're dominated and their partner dominates.

That's the same thing with the forced sex, right? It's a similar thing.

Yeah, exactly. We just want, we want to feel like with that whole thing with like the rape fantasy or the non consensual sex. It's not that we want all those things. It's just that we, we women have the desire to feel like a man can't do any. He can't handle himself. He wants to ravish us. He loves us. So everything. He just wants us. Oh, needs to grab us and throw us down, you know, and 100% per se. But we want to be the, you know, the object of their offense.

We always say on our show we're like, listen, if it feels good, don't deny it. If you like it. There are so many guys are afraid to talk about, oh my gosh, being stimulated in their, their anus. And it's like, but if it makes you come, why are you acting like, oh, that's gay or whatever. It's not gay. Straight, whatever it is, if it feels good, do it. You know what I mean?

I do know what you mean. Have you guys had a guy to ask you to do that. Have you pegged anyone a good man?

I haven't pegged anyone, but I've definitely, like, played around with finger. Yes, Finger, mouth.

Every time. But how do you. How do you guys test that with a guy putting a finger?

I just.

I usually do it. Obvious. I usually do it during, like, a blow job. And I'll start to just kind of ease there and play on the outside and then maybe start to go in a little bit. And I've had guys, usually, they'll be very upfront if they don't want it, right.

They're like, no, no, no.

I'm not in the.

Also the licking. I know some girls are so grossed out, but, like, when you go down near the taint area, I find, like, a lot of men love that. And so if they stop you. Totally. But I'm, like, totally down for it.

Yeah, go look around that whole area. I love that you got the whole thing with all the hands and.

Because it turns me on to turn him on. And that's why I think giving a blowjob is so hot. To me, it's like, you can make it hot because you're watching him like you own him in that moment. Like, you can do whatever you want, and he's gonna love you for it. And so it's hot.

I love your. Concentrate on that. Because we get a lot of calls from women on the show. People call in. You guys can call us, Triple 894-782-777. Call her Daddy.

Call her Daddy.

Awesome women here, and they say, like, I just don't like it. How do I get into it? Kind of like they either had a bad experience, someone told them they were bad, or grossed them out. And it's like. It is. First of all, you're in the power position, and you're like, this is an extension of this person that I love or I like enough to have sex with. And you just look at it like it's another part of it. And you get into it. I'm there. I'm one with your penis. I'm licking it, I'm sucking it. And I would love to just tell women that it's not. Like, if you can get out of your head and just be like, this is something. I'm pleasing him. And the more you're doing it, you realize you're doing the right. Enthusiasm's, like, the number one tip.

Oh, yeah, that's huge. Is the enthusiasm. Like the Poland Springs. And you're in the desert.

You look like you're dying for that dick. No, but seriously, whenever I talk to my guy friends, he's like, listen, every guy loves a blowjob, but it is kind of shitty when you look down and this girl looks like she wants to fall down. Like, she's miserable.

She's miserable.

You hear that from guys that she's.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, okay, well, let's just have sex then, because this is boring.

Right?

So, you know, show that you're into it. Imagine if you saw your guy going down on you and he's, like, falling asleep.

He's done that. He's not my guy.

Right, right.

Well. Well, historically. But do you feel like guys. But I think it's the same thing. Look, if a guy goes down and he's like, yeah, I'm gonna do this. And then he goes down and he's like, two seconds, like, he does like, lick, lick, and then comes back up. What are you doing, dude? That did nothing for me.

No things. We call those little sandwich.

Right?

Come on.

Come on.

But you like it? You guys like receiving oral?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

100, right?

Like, you give it to me all day.

Do you require. Do you tell, like, go down to me first?

Absolutely. If that would. That would be like, a deal breaker for sure. If a guy said he wouldn't.

I think, for sure. 100%.

Almost. Yeah, almost.

Like, I. If a guy is not. Especially because of how much I'm reciprocating oral. Like, if you're not gonna go down on me, then I don't really.

Right. Why would you. It's like a quid pro quo. I'm trying to think if it's like, if there's a kind of a blowjob, like a quid. Blow quo.

Well, I also find, like, when I am so giving, as you would say, in these blowjobs, like, I find guys then are more eager to go down on me and, like, want to do give the same amount of. So it's great.

I'm afraid for you guys to be single now and dating. Like, look what you're talking. Jesus. You know what I mean? We're scared.

Why?

Just because I want you guys to be safe here in New York talking about giving the best blowjobs ever. That's awesome.

My parents were scared, too.

No, I don't know. My parents were. I just like. Yeah, no, it's a big place. It's awesome, though.

Yeah.

Okay, so you guys have kind of gotten into toys. You said. You said you did the Womanizer, but then did you do a show you talked about getting into toys or so.

Yeah, we talk. I mean, we talk about all of them. I think a lot of people have never used butt plugs, which is like, girls are like, oh, my God, I'm so scared. It's like, no, no, no. We try to explain to girls, it' not scary. Butt plugs are great. Vibrators, clit stimulators, and we've kind of tried them all.

Yeah.

What's your favorite womanizer?

The womanizer is great. I think the butt plugs is huge because a lot of girls don't know if you're having your stimulated and you have something in your ass.

Yeah.

Like your orgasm feels so amazing because of kind of like that fullness that you have. We talk to a lot of girls that are like, college. There's even a little bit of high school and, you know, early 20s. And a lot of people don't know this stuff.

Guys, I'm so glad they have it. They don't know.

A lot of people don't even have vibrators. And they're like, oh, my God. I'm scared to order it because I'm connected to my parents credit card.

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do with your parents credit card? They're like, can I have it sent to your friends? Exactly.

I mean, come on.

Work around it. Work around it. Or go buy your own. It's like, we bought you some toys too.

Oh, my gosh.

And we got you some fun things. I know. So what else has happened lately? Like, sex thing. Anything new? You said you're being guinea pigs. What else have you tried being guinea pigs?

What else have we been trying?

I mean, just every Wednesday, you've, like, the pressure, right?

You're like, it's definitely a lot of.

But it's.

It's so exciting because we have so many people writing in stories. We had a girl write in, actually. She was into, like, BDSM with this new guy, and then recently, she walked into his apartment and he was like, take off all your clothes. Go into my drunk drawer, take that marker and write all over yourself what you want me to do to me. So, like, she wrote in her inner thighs, like, bite me and, like, lick me. And then, like, on her tits. She wrote stuff on her ass. She was like, daddy's little cum, whatever. Like, oh, shit. And she said it was the craziest sex ever. And it was great because she wrote all this stuff all over herself. And it was another form of foreplay.

It is another.

And, like, dressing up so hot. So I never thought of that.

No, that's a really good one. So you could do that, but permanent marker or just regular marker?

You said it ended up being permanent marker. And she had to go on, like, a beach trip the next day with her family.

And she was like, dude, that's the flu. She, like, faked the flu. And she was like, oh, my God, I have, like, daddy's little kamsla above my belly button. I'm like, I can't go to the family beach trip. I'm sorry, dad. So she, like, faked she had the flu.

Like, my God, that is amazing. So good, you guys. I love you guys. You're awesome. Okay, wait. I have questions to ask you guys. Right? This is what we ask everyone. Okay, ready? How would you describe your sex life in three words, each one of you? I could ask you. Oh.

Oh. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Progressive. Oh, I like that.

Fun and sexy. I know sexy might sound lame, but.

I think it is. No, nothing lame about the Call her daddy. Girls.

I would say wild, adventurous, and, like, hot, steamy.

Nice. Okay, that's four, but I like it. Okay, you can add another one. Okay. What's your biggest turn? On one thing, I think when a.

Guy can finger me really well, that's, like, the hottest thing. I'm so attracted to a guy that knows how to finger a girl.

He knows what to do.

Okay.

And I would say when a guy knows how to give me oral.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay.

Good, good. Big female pleasure.

Biggest turnoff when a guy is clearly so in it to get. Get off, and he doesn't care about you getting off.

You can tell.

Jackhammer with the fingers. Jackhammer with his dick. You're like, oh, my God. I'm just literally, like a pocket pussy right now. What is going on? Yeah.

Okay, wait.

What is yours?

Oh, this is gonna sound super lame, but if he. If he sucks at kissing.

Oh, my God.

Kissing is the important thing.

Immediately, I'm like, so is this gonna translate into bed?

Yeah, it can, but you can. There's a workaround for that, but I hear what you're saying. Okay. Your number one sex tip, Confidence.

Fake it till you make it. Even if you don't feel confident in that moment. You go in there, you get on top, you ride that thing like an equestrian. You do your thing, and you're good.

I would say communicating. Like, this guy thought he had delayed ejaculation for four months, and he didn't.

This is amazing communication. We've covered so much on this. Just this little Time here, you guys. Thank you for. I so appreciate you both. You check out Sophia Franklin, Alex Cooper. It is hell. Her daddy everywhere. Where else do they find you? Right? Podcast.

Call her daddy. The podcast comes out every single Wednesday.

Yes, it's awesome. Thanks for being here. All right, we're gonna take a quick break and we come back. We're gonna get into your emails.

All right, guys. Love answering your questions. I like when we get to this part of the show. If you have a question you want answered on the show, just go to my website, website sex with emily.com, click the Ask Emily tap belt to short form and boom. Or you can email feedbackexwithemily.com but please, please, please include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. Okay, thanks, guys. All right, Jamie, you want to read the email?

This first one comes to us from Pamela, 46, in Ohio. Hi, Emily. I'm a divorced single mom at the young age of 46 and have been in a relationship with a wonderful man. He's 54. He's very, very strong faith and does not believe in premarital sex. He says I'm different and does not want our relationship based on sex. He asked me why I'm willing to give up the marriage benefit without being married. He's also divorced. I've discussed with him my concerns. I've told him that sexual chemistry is very important to me. I've even asked him about oral sex. He says he's attracted to me and we passionately kiss and make out, but he hasn't even tried to touch my chest or any other body parts. How do I argue with what the Bible says? I'm trying to respect his faith and not seem like a sex crazed inflammat maniac. But looking for any insight you may have on this matter. I have not experienced anything quite like this before in my previous relationships. Thank you.

All right, Pamela. Okay, here's the deal. I understand that this guy, you've been with him for six months and you're the young age of 46, which I love. 46 is very young. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you of sex. And I. He might be a great guy and you feel like you really know him so far, but you are never going to get him to change his beliefs, especially at 54. It's who he is. And so I, I just think even the fact that he's not even willing to be touching you right now, you must be like, maybe I should marry him so I can actually figure out and have sex with him, you know, because he's not giving you what you need right now. And I'm not sure you can't guarantee that you're going to marry him and you're going to get what you need then either. Especially if he's not that into oral sex or even exploring right now. Now he haven't even touched you at all. So I think you have to really decide, is this guy the one for you? If you've been listening to the show, you know how important sexual communication is and you know how important it is to give up some beliefs that might no longer serve you and figure out to how to be a great partner to yourself and to others. And so I'm not sure he's going to be the guy that's going to be able to even communicate about sex once you are married. I mean, once you tie the knot. What if things aren't as great with him? What if he's not as giving in the bedroom or he's not able to, you know, to. To participate sexually in the. Because you know that relationships take work and to keep the sex interesting, you want to keep expanding and growing. We don't even know any of this yet. It's like you're signing on this dotted line without knowing what you're buying. And that to me is really of concern. I mean obviously you, you can't argue what his interpretation of the Bible says. I understand that. But you have to think about your own religion and what you want and what's important to you. It sounds like you are doing all the compromise here and he's not. So you're saying I'm trying to respect his faith. Faith and not seem like a sex crazed nymphomaniac. There are zero things that make you a sex crazed nymphomaniac because you want to explore with him sexually before you get married. I mean the fact that there's not even any touching or oral. He hasn't touched your nipples yet. I would be jumping out of my skin. So what you could do here is just sit down with him and say that there has to be some give and take here, that you're going to need some more intimacy with him before you can actually decide if you want to walk down the aisle with him. I also don't see what the rush is. Six months into me is not enough to time to really get to know if he's your guy. Remember, it takes us sometimes people the first year, we don't even show our true selves. We just bring our Representative. So I think at least a year you'll know more. Have some of these really serious conversations with him so you can figure out if he's a partner for you or not. But I wouldn't jump into it yet and keep talking. Thank you so much for your email, Pamela.

This next one comes to us from Alexis, 27 in Paris is a male. Hi Emily. I'm contacting you because I haven't had sex in two years and I feel like I'm losing my flirting confidence. So I figured that you might might help. I'm pretty sure I'm dating material, attractive, sociable, fun, and I pursue many interests like Latin dances. But I constantly have this feeling of being friendsoned by girls or maybe it's just my lack of confidence. In your podcast, balancing your sexual energy, you talked about us having masculine and feminine energies, which made me realize that I'm naturally attracted to women with a very feminine energy, but my dominant energy is feminine as well. I talk about my feelings easily, I listen to my intuition, and I have a lot of empathy. It's ironic because in my life I'm very proactive and when I dance or when I'm in bed, I'm very dominant, masculine and energy. I take charge. Unfortunately, I often don't make it to the bedroom because I'm not masculine enough in the flirting process. I know that it's in me naturally, but I just feel like I'm unable to express the side of myself due to the lack of confidence. So it's a vicious cycle. I really want to unleash my masculine energy to better flirt with women. I was hoping you would have some good advice and that it would not only benefit me, but all men who don't feel confident enough to openly flirt at love at first sight. P S. Your show is awesome.

Thank you Alexis. And thank you for listening to the show. I really, really love this question because there's so much about dating that is about our self confidence and being confident and just to go out there and start talking to people and not second guessing yourself. So that is really real. And I think that you've such a maturity that you're actually noticing this in yourself and women have it too. We start to second guess ourselves and then we actually keep ourselves from putting ourselves out there and finding what we want. So first let me let's talk a little bit about the masculine and the feminine energy. So. So what I was talking about on that podcast and what I often refer to is we all have masculine and feminine energy, whether a man or A woman, you know, same sex relationships, we talk about masculine and feminine. So typically I think I was saying that I'm more masculine during the day. I run a business, I'm doing a show. And then when I'm sexual, I'm more feminine. So I want to be with a partner who brings the masculine. So you have that polarity in the bedroom. So I think what we're talking about here is that is you bringing that polarity to your flirting process. And once you get into the bedroom, so what you really have to do do is practice taking. When you say that you are more masculine when you're dancing or when you're, when you get to bed. When you're in bed, I think the thing you got to do is think about who Alexis is in those moments and then bring that confidence into the room when you're walking up to someone to flirt with them or when you meet someone. Now typically the masculine brings the structure, right? The masculine is sort of a container for women to feel safer, to express who they are and express their feelings and feel like it's going to be held by a man. Man, right. And so the masculine is receiving feminine energy and that's, it's sort of nurturing him and it's a cycle. So the more that a man can hold the energy for a woman, the more that she's seeing, feeling his masculine energy because she feels safe around him. So that means that, you know, you feel past her words, you feel past what she's saying and you just hold a safe space, you know, and that is about breath and that is about you feeling connected to your body, which actually brings confidence. And so you want to make her feel like you are the kind of guy that she could open up to and flirt with. You sound so evolved to me for your age especially. And I know you haven't had sex in two years and I feel like the only thing is you're you getting your practice just like you practice dance or other things. Remember that flirting and talking to members of the sex that we're attracted to takes work. I mean, it's like a muscle. It's like a muscle and if we don't use it, we lose it. And the problem is the more we're not doing it, these, those, those messages creep in our head like, well, now no one's gonna like me. It's been so long. I don't have the of kind confidence. And so I feel like leading with your masculine would just be going up to women. You say that you are definitely talk about your feelings easily. But this would be more listening. And maybe it's also the way you hold yourself. And it's practicing a confident stature before you go into a place and being more in your body and presence. So if you do any meditation work, it sounds like you're dancing, so you must be very in touch with your body. And I feel like you're closer than you think. And I think for a lot of men, it really is just. And for women, too, it's a practice. So maybe, Alexis, when you're older out, you're at parties or you're at an event, or you're even in the workplace or getting lunch at work and you see someone attractive or you see someone you'd like to talk to, just practice talking to them. There's not a pickup line. Those don't work. It's really just in your most confident way, saying, great weather we're having. Where'd you get that sandwich from? You know, literally just asking about something that's happening in the moment, observing something. Like, if you're waiting in line for coffee, you can observe something. And then you. You ask a question. I didn't realize they started selling lattes here. Have you had their lattes? They answer your question, and then you respond. You said that you're sociable, you feel like you're attractive, and so I think you've just taken yourself out of the game. So sometimes practicing of people that we maybe were interested in, maybe not, but just exercising that muscle, asking the questions, observing things that are going on, and listening, being a really good listener, that's half the battle. Think of when you meet a new friend or you go. You go somewhere someone likes you. When you're at a party, it's because you're talking, you're exchanging information, and you're truly connecting. So maybe this will also help you take these women that you're flirting with off a pedestal and just realize it is a conversation. And we all want to feel safe, we want to feel heard, and we want to feel that people notice us. So noticing certain details about them and. And, you know, maybe compliments are great, too. Compliments. Something very specific. Like, I really like that color of your eyes. It's a really pretty green. Or even I like your shoes. I think that you're way closer than you think. I can tell by your email. So just get out of your head. Don't beat yourself up for this. And just. Just start talking to people and continue to do activities you like, Things that you're interested in. That's also where we meet more like minded people. And I think you're going to find that that flirting is just there and it's a natural skill that you already have within you. Thanks, Alexis.

This next one comes to us from Myra, 33, in California. Dear Emily, I love listening to your podcast. I've been married 15 years and we have a good sex life. But the problem is I come way too fast. I'm very kinky and into pretty much anything until I come. Then it's like a bucket of cold water is poured over me. The dirty talk becomes almost annoying at that point and I cannot wait for him to be done. We're interest in having a threesome and I love fantasizing about it, but I'm scared that if we go through with it, I will be over it and I will regret it. What can I do to not be completely out of it once I finish?

All right, Myra. Okay. Thank you for this question. I think a lot of you are probably going, wait, what? She comes quickly. I wish I could come quickly. Most women don't even orgasm through sex, so it's not as common. But this definitely happens. And what I'm going to tell you is you have so much potential here to learn to have sex and pleasure in other ways. Now our first step, I'm going to tell you is what I tell a lot of men who come before they want to or come quickly is edging and teasing yourself, meaning when you're masturbating or even your partner can do this. They can tease you until you feel like you're about to have the orgasm. And then you bring it back down, you breathe and then you bring yourself up again and then you bring yourself down so you can extend your pleasure and extend your orgasm. So when you finally do come, it's gonna be a lot more intense. And so I also think like, there's potential for you to also focus on other areas of the body. It sounds like if you have this one, you know, orgasm just from sex and you are really kinky. I think getting into other areas like power play or BDSM might really help you, you know, just take out the penetration, even take out the genital touching, but maybe some more playfulness with your partner and bringing some more like kink into it, like you said, and not going right for penetration will be great for you. Also, the part about like, oh, when you're done, you're done and you feel like you got cold water poured over your head, that's your brain telling you that that probably is how you have felt, but that is not how you have to always feel. You really just need to learn to retrain. I suggest you retrain your brain and your body. And that meaning that when you're done with that orgasm, just breathe into it, okay? Breathe into it. And maybe you start to please your partner at that point. I know you don't really feel like it. You said you're done. But what if you just breathe and see, am I really done? Maybe you have your partner sort of touch you in other parts of your body. You know, fingers off the clitoris, not even the vulva, but maybe they start to tease your neck or your chest or give you a massage because then that sexual energy can start to build again. So once you retrain your body, you'll realize there's potential, there's more potential here to experience more types of orgasms and more types of pleasure than you've even experienced before. I would definitely take the threesome off the table for now. Even though you love fantasizing about it until you guys figure out a new way to expand your sexual repertoire together. And I think you got to bring him into this process. You've been together for 15 years and I think letting him know that this is what's happened in the past, you feel like it's a cold bucket of water and you're done. Which he probably knows, but saying, I'm going to try some of these new things. So the masturbation part you can do on your own. But let him know that you'd like to try new things right after you come to see if you can have a different experience. And I totally think it is possible for you, Myra.

Alright, this next One is from Austin, 25 in Louisiana. Hey, Emily. I've been having thoughts lately on my first real ex. I'm currently in a really nice relationship that's doing fine, but it seems lately I can't get my mind away from her. Now. This ex was my first real and longest relationship relationship. The breakup wasn't bad and we hooked up once or twice afterwards, but it didn't go anywhere. I'm afraid that my mind drifting to the thoughts of my ex have been keeping me from holding a relationship since even now I'm beginning to feel like I'm drifting from my current girlfriend and I really love her and don't want to lose her. What do you think?

All right, Austin, so just so you know, you're not alone here. Our first boyfriend, our girlfriend, Our first relationship is really the one that we hold. Is it's the most difficult breakup. It's the one we often remember the most because it's the first time we really fell in love, and it's the first time we really went through a breakup. It's a very common pattern to kind of have this thing, this euphoric recall that everything we remember about them is amazing. And we put them on this pedestal and we think it was the best relationship. And how can we get back to it? But a lot of it just has to do with some nostalgia. And it doesn't necessarily mean just because you're thinking about them all the time, that you should be with them. It could mean so many other things. Like maybe you just miss romance. Maybe what you're missing right now is you guys had more romance with that partner and you're not not having that now. Or maybe you like the way that she made you feel, and you're not necessarily having those feelings right now. You know, like, it's essentially you. There are certain aspects you liked of that relationship that you are telling yourself you're not having now. So it's sort of nostalgic now, I think. I think what you could do. Another thing is it could also be keeping you safe by have. By. By constantly having your ex to think about it. It's sort of a process that it's allowing you to. It's keeping you from being able to really commit to your current partner. Maybe you have some fear partner. Maybe, you know deep down she's not right for you. Or maybe, you know, deep down she is. And you're afraid of those emotions. You're afraid of getting hurt again. You're afraid of really opening your heart again, which is really a process. A lot of us just. We go through breakup, we shut down and we're afraid. So all of these things could be going on. But I don't think it necessarily has to do with the fact that you should leave this woman and go be with your ex. I think what it does is just take. Don't fight it to say, oh, there I am again, thinking about my ex. What am I thinking specifically? And then you can go granular. Are you thinking about you and your ex on a vacation together? Are you thinking about things you used to do together? And then you could think, well, I actually want to create new memories with my new partner. What could I do to turn all the attention I'm putting toward the ex towards my current relationship? Because then you'll know that you're actually trying to make this one work, and you'll be Able to really make a great decision. Is this person for me or not? Without having the shadow of the ex hanging over you. So that's my best advice for you, Austin. But don't beat yourself up, because we all do this a little bit. Gotta tell you, never forget that first.

Never. All right, this last one comes to us from Tina, 34, in the United States. Hi, Emily. My husband struggles with anxiety and depression for which he takes medication. As his dose has gone higher, his libido is nearly non existent. Ironically, he hates taking medication. So I'm hoping you can guide us in the direction of a more natural remedy that may help lift him up, pun intended. And get him in the mood. Love your show.

Hey, Tina. Okay, so anxiety is rampant right now. I feel like everybody's got some anxiety and we keep hearing about it and reading about it. I've. Anxiety, anxiety. It's just common, right? Very. The most common thing. It could be for a million different reasons. But let me tell you the best things that I know about anxiety. And it takes work and it doesn't go away unless you stick with specific practices. Let me get to those in one second. But first, about the anxiety. If he has to say on his medication for anxiety and depression, the first thing he has to do is go to his doctor and let your doctor know that I no longer have a libido. I. I'm not feeling aroused anymore. Can't have a direction or whatever, whatever it is. And then the doctor can play with the medication. He can take them down. He can take them down on some medication. He can bring other medications in. So there's definitely ways to work on this. So many people suffer from these sexual side effects and they don't have to. So that's the first thing. The other thing is, I can tell you from more natural holistic remedies is breath. Our mind dictates everything that we feel in our body. So if you learn to breathe and to meditate every day, there's so many great apps out there right now. Simple Habit is a great app that you can use because it's like, you don't have to think of a meditation routine on your own. You can find one on different apps. He could do it two minutes a day, Practice breathing, practice meditation. Movement also really, really important for anxiety and depression. Yoga, stretching, just moving your body. And also sleep. Sleep is super important, too. If we have really good sleep, like eight hours a night, we will lessen the symptoms of anxiety and depression. And diet. Diet as well. If he's drinking a lot of caffeine, a lot of sugars, a lot of foods that are not great for him. That's also going to amp up the anxiety. So I don't know of a natural remedy, cbd. Actually, many people like cbd. So Veritas Farms is one that we love. V E R I T A S I like them because they actually have a farm and they make their own cbd. So we know the source. And I know that CBD has helped me taking some of their tinctures. And I think that you can kind of explore that. I mean, if you could try some CBD and that could help him and that's a more natural remedy. It's a plant. So I think that would be great. Try some of these things out. Talk to him about it first. Talk to the doctor. No one should ever stop taking medication without talking to a doctor. And then also, Tina, it's really hard to start new habits. So I know you've. You've heard of breath before. You've heard of meditation, you've heard of yoga. You've probably read about it every time you pick up a magazine. But really, sometimes having a partner do it with us, Tina. So maybe along with your husband, you guys could wake up in the morning and meditate for five minutes together. You could go for walks at night. So you're in nature and you're moving. So perhaps there's a way that you can also help him with it so he's not on his own trying to figure out how to deal with the anxiety and depression which is also the biggest killers of our sex drive. So I think all of that is tied in and I think it's great to get more information from the doctor and to work with them. And for more information about Veritas, you can go to sexwithemily.com versus veritas. Thanks for your email. All right, guys, great show. Thank you to the Call Her Daddy women for being on the show. That was a blast. Thank you everyone for listening and for supporting the show. I love getting your emails and it's so great when you subscribe to the podcast that helps us. Well, wherever you're listening, you subscribe. And also when you tell your friends in listening to this, maybe there was an email in here that you really thought was helpful for someone to hear. Send it to them, share it. It's really easy to share podcasts. Tell your friends about it. So spread the word. We so appreciate that we're releasing three podcasts a week, and we do it because we love doing it. So the more you spread the word, the helpful the more helpful it is for all of us. So thank you everyone. Thanks to my amazing listeners and my team, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, producer, Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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