Penis Pulses & Primary Partners

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them.

In a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're Listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com check out our website because there's a lot of amazing information there that will change your life. Also, you can find us on social media. It's ex with Emily across the board, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and please, please. We love when you subscribe on itunes. That helps us make a better show and make more shows for you. And also when you comment. We love that. And give us five stars. That's amazing. You can also listen to us on Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadio, all over the place. Wherever you find your podcast, we are there. So I'm here with Ben Morrison, comedian, special friend.

Special.

Special friend.

Yeah.

That's the worst. That's the worst thing you've ever.

Betty, you know what you mean to me.

In my heart, I'm your special friend.

Yeah. Special in my heart. Special to me.

Special friend. Right. Court documents say that she described him as a quote, special friend. I'm glad to be that for you.

You are. What would you like me to call you?

You're my special friend.

I mean, you're technically, yeah, you're my boyfriend, but for what?

No, no, no, no.

I love it.

Not anymore.

You know, it's never felt like I'm.

Gonna be like, oh, hey, do you have an extra ticket for my special friend? It's just gonna be you.

No, no, I. I'm trying to figure out why it's always been a thing like leading with that or my. I don't know. Anyway. Well, I just feel like I felt.

That it made me probably relating to your long standing attachment issues, but we didn't have to talk about that.

Okay, good. No, I'm sure it does, but I was actually thinking if I went deeper than that.

Yeah, how deep? How deep we talking?

So deep. I feel like it's because, you know, Ben, I used to feel that being in a relationship took away my.

Strength and took away my power and my individuality. Like, how could I be my best self when I was on the climb and very much in my masculine. All these years business and working really hard if there was a boyfriend. I just felt like it's to be independent and to be like, that was my strength, the power. And I didn't really. It's been a long time since I realized how. And intellectually I understood it for my own life. How a relationship can enhance you, enhance it, make it stronger, better. But I still don't love it.

They're not listening to vulnerability with Emily, you know what I'm saying?

Which it served me. My attachment issues have served me very well for serving others.

Oh, very true, very true. Your inability to commit has led to a deep dive into the sexual research that America has needed.

It's true. I was like I'm not gonn commit to anyone but my listeners and sex in theory. So yeah, then here you are.

But then someone came along and saw your ass across a crowded field.

It's true, Benny.

And now we're here.

Well, I'm glad you're here today.

Uh huh.

Because I wanted you to come in and talk about being special friends. Yeah. So Ben, you've been on the show in a while since our great trip to Greece. So I thought you'd come by Santorini Live. That was so fun.

After the summer wrapped, I did this insane apartment cleaning purge that just kind of happened. And once it started, I committed to it and word, I just got rid of layers and layers of just crap I'd been holding onto. Deep clean apartment, finished the entire thing. And then it was time to talk about your purge.

Yeah, exactly. And I was a little envious because I have been living in this. So I moved into a house about a year and a half ago, almost two years.

And a beautiful Emily sized house in an amazing location. I mean literally it's a whole house but it's Emily sized and it's adorable just like you are.

But, but I moved in and I've never had a. How I was coming from, I don't know, explain what happened to you. I've never had furniture. Right. I've been busy. It's been a very busy few years. And I'm not a natural like homemaker and decorating. I don't walk into a room and go this is how it should look. I'm much more about people and connections and I want things to be comfortable and cozy and have it feel like my. But time has gone by and I haven't bought any furniture. It's true. I haven't done anything to it really. And so as a result there's a lot of systems in place. Things have kind of piled up.

There was an attempt earlier in the year to do something about it.

I tried to hire to throw money. I tried to hire someone to help me. And what I realized is that your home, much like many things in life that you can't, you have to figure out what you want. I live there. I know, but I couldn't. The project was over. There was a lot of Things that were wrong with the place and that didn't work. Your home couldn't reach any of my closets because the things were too high. So I had to get on stools or I got a hanging rack because I couldn't reach any of the things. So for a year, it's all just. Things were piling up that I couldn't deal with. I didn't know Ben worked. You had a drill to make. I knew he has a drill, but not like a drill.

Oh, yeah. It's cordless. I can detach it to make a metaphor that your listeners will understand. Your home is a lot like your vagina. You have to spend a lot of time in it really thinking about what feels good.

Exactly. So good. Benny, I love all your new sexual analogies. They're good in life.

Yeah. I'm doing a vaginal redecoration show. God, flip this vag.

So we.

Yeah, before the vagina left, it looked like this.

And now what I do, like, is all of your knowledge that you retain such great knowledge and depth around all the sex toys you've ever used. Like, you remember them, you use them. You actually imitate them.

Well, speaking of sex. Oh, dude. Yeah. Wanna hear my womanizer impression?

This is. Yes.

All right.

Do what it goes. The smart sound technology. Because the womanizer turns off and on with your skin. It has this thing. So it's skin.

Holy shit. What is this thing?

It's really good. And I'll be like, maybe grab the pivot tonight, babe. Like, I love that you. I feel like we're really sharing hobbies now. So anyway, we've gotten into my house and it was like some kind of mental block. I couldn't. When I have 2 hours free on the weekend. And I was like, no, I'm gonna lower my clock. It just. It piled up and I was. Got to be a problem. That was really when you're. And also just like when you don't know your vagina, like, you're not connected. I didn't know my home. I didn'. I was never relaxed when I got there. I need a. I need to relax, like, everywhere I go. Needs to be kind of chill. Because in my brain, it's not always like that. So I was getting home and I was like, oh, I gotta. I couldn't find things leaving the house. It got kind of be a mess.

And I would go so far as to say it kind of affected our relationship.

I did.

You know, because it was like. There was no decompression from. There's no Decompression from where you live, you know, and you need decompression. You're. You're like, you're a little hummingbird and you're, you know, and much like a hummingbird, they're always one hour away from starvation.

See, that is like me right now. I'm starving.

Starving. You never eat. I don't know why you don't eat.

I do eat.

I don't know why you don't make getting up and eating part of the routine. But maybe now that you've purged your kitchen.

I got rid of everything last night. Right. So it's been very healing. So to have someone. So Ben came over this weekend and we.

I pulled a thread that I knew could not be undone. Like, your garage was kind of the closet of. Yeah, you're getting tense right now.

I know.

Emmy has this tiny little Emily sized garage. It's adorable. But let's just say the things that she didn't want to deal with were basically chucked in there. And then a designer that she worked with who didn't know how to deal with all of Emily's stuff just boxed it up and chucked that in there.

So it wasn't just my stuff. It was stuff that I actually used. So for five months, I haven't been able to find things that were mine and everything got out of order. It was almost like there was like a mini earthquake in my house and thrown into the garage.

Like a really cute photo of you wearing that adorable little blue gingham dress at a barbecue where you're trying to reach something and you're like actually climbing over, like actual mountains of trash in my possessions. I mean, like, it was crazy.

And it's been like that for five months. So every day I'm like, I should really be doing the garage. Whenever I'm home, I'm like, I should be.

Because the knowledge that any actual deep dive into the house would have to involve untangling that garage, that became such a. An overpowering thought for you that it kind of paralyzed you and not really ever tackling it in any real way. So, like, I knew that you needed to. It was time. Like, I had just done it. And so.

And I haven't slept now and been doing it though, but it feels amazing. Like, I'm telling you, I've clarity. I've got rid of a lot of things and I've been able to.

Yeah, you get purge happy. You get like addicted to purging. You're like, you start throwing away trinkets and Then you just look around your house. You're like, I don't need a bed. I'm gonna purge the bed. Sleep on the floor.

Right.

But you're in it. That's what I wanted. You're in it now, like, where you're really obsessing about the space and making decisions, and it's painful and you're tired. You stay up all night and you listen to good music and you get rid of stuff.

It's true.

But once we started clearing out your garage, it became clear the volume of sex toys.

I sort of. I'm not a hoarder, but I have, like, literally every sex toy I've ever had, pretty much.

But they're just. They're in every nook and cranny. Like, I'd lift up a box being like, oh, you know, more like Christmas wrapping. And then, oh, under it. Oh, there's a rave.

Exactly. There's a lot in boxes. I save the boxes. Cause I'm like, oh, I want to show people. Cause here's the thing. Whenever I get these sex toys, I always think I love them, and I'm grateful. I actually did do a purge year. I'm doing this for 13 years. I don't have every sex toy, but I probably have most of them for the last seven, eight years. So I always saved everything because I think for my. I am really always thinking about the show because that has been my life. Less than having a man about the show. And I'm thinking I'm gonna save the boxes and the packaging because I want to, like, take video and take pictures and show people all this cool stuff. And a lot of times doesn't happen because that's how life is. So I've saved them. And we just. And it was. We kind of went through Walk down sex toy lane and Ben and like, I was like, now I can bring the Sabian back to my house. The Sibian's here in the office. I think. Yes. See, there's a whole thing. And then I'm like, having visions that, like, the garage could be. Because I don't actually use it as a garage. Like, that could be some kind of sex debt. I am liberator bed.

Having visions of you using the Civian.

Exactly. See? Planting the seed. But I think, yeah, being vulnerable and having you in and seek all that stuff has been a great release.

Oh, yeah. We found, like, old love notes on the floor of your garage all crumpled up. It was like your whole life has just been.

My entire life has been in there.

So it feels but now. How does it feel now?

I think we're constantly peeling back these layers in life, and I don't know what I was not dealing with. And now I feel like it's all being released energetically and creatively speaking. And just visually, it's not. I don't. I don't know yet. But it's changing. I can tell that it's changing my life. I think that holding onto stuff, that whole book that. The Japanese Art of Cleaning up. What's her name? The Heart of Tidying Up.

Oh, yeah, I had it, but I threw it away.

Exactly. You're like, your book is useful. The Art of Tidying up that she talks about. You have to hold on to something. Does this bring me joy or not? Like, you hold every object in your home and you say, does this bring me joy? Yeah, but it's fine if it doesn't. You throw it away. I thought that was silly when I read it, but the truth is, even if it's like something that I like, a makeup that has stains on it or it's always kind of bent or things that just don't work for me, it could be like a wrap of. It could be wrapping paper, it could be a sock, it could be a purse. But if it doesn't, you just. You can tell if something has a. Is a hell yes or hell no, and you just pitch it. And then just like in life and in relationships, when you. Whenever you get rid of anything, it could be a partner. I'm not getting rid of you. It could be your things. You release things that don't serve you, and you bring me so much joy. You release things that don't serve you, and then all the good stuff can come in, and other things that are waiting to come into your life can come in. So I feel like there's going to be a huge shift energetically in my life now in so many ways, because of this, because of all the stuff that's waiting at my curb right now and all the stuff I'm realizing. I think it's the. It's growth and gonna be. Take me to the next level here.

Yeah. I think for the people listening to this, just look. Look around the room you're in and just throw away all your stuff. Just get rid of all of it. All of it. Except the device you use to listen to sex with Emily.

I think for me, why this has been what I've realized about. About our relationship and this whole process is that when you try to do things for so long, I've been oriented towards doing things on my own and being. And not asking for help and not. And. And so even when it comes to house stuff, right? No, I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a. I don't have anyone that I'm gonna be like, come over and hang this, like, I'm gonna call a handy. I'm not the most, like, get things done. It's hard. You know, with work, I can do that. But with my home stuff, it's very overwhelming. So to be like, it's a whole project and how I need help with simple things, moving things around and drills. And I never thought, like, Ben, could you. You might have a drill or you might not do this stuff. And I'm just gonna figure it on my own. I'm gonna someday sit down and figure this out and have someone help me in a way that's meaningful, that it's also very vulnerable. Cause in my life, it's gotten so much messier now. And I. It's hard for me to say what I. I need to walk through step by step in each room and all these things. And hard to say what I want. And I realized that. And you're like, I want to help you. Because I realize this has been such a. For months now, it's been like this. All I talk about is, like, I have to get this stuff out of there and figure it out. It's been like this kind of cluster fuck I've got myself into. And then you came in on Friday, and you're just like, show up with your drill, which, by the way, didn't know you even knew how to. You had a drill that you were handy, which is like, whoa, you're almost a year in. Like, you have another drill that's useful that you could use wield and that I realized that I am so. So all these years of having the masculine. The energy in my life is that my dad died when I was 19. Right. I've always been on my own. And I love men. I've had many boyfriends, but not in this level of. At this stage of my life of realizing that I. How much.

It helps. And I need that. I love it.

You built a certain empire on not needing.

A. That was round of applause for some vulnerability. That was amazing. No, you kind of built your empire, your life around the fact that you didn't need.

I just couldn't make time for it. I didn't think I needed it.

You didn't need male energy in order to be a girl boss. And that has been kind of your rallying cry. And one of the things, frankly, I find most amazing about you. But with your house, it was such a knot in every way, spatially speaking, that you needed a male energy to come in and work with you, to dive deep. That was not able to be purchased.

They couldn't just hire that man.

You couldn't. You can't hire someone to understand you deeply enough to know that when you're going through, like, a box at the bottom of the drawer, what should get tossed and what, like, old photos of, you know, you and your friends should be framed so where to put them? You know, I think you're. You're so amazing at thinking huge and big that the little things of which in this case, there were maybe like a thousand, that needed to be thought about kind of are maybe a little more confounding to you because in your head, you're busy saving the world.

So my own world typically gets chaotic.

Not to a crazy degree. I mean, her house is beautiful, and it looked beautiful in the house. It's just there was not.

There was, like, no order, no systems.

Yeah, it was chaotic in how it was assembled and put together. It was chaotic in how it was expected to run as an organism. You know, just. Even the flow of the rooms and what they were to be used for because you. Your brain literally didn't have the time or capacity to be able to think that way because you're kind of busy saving the world. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I know what you're saying.

So it took a weekend of drilling the house and you to get it.

We did. We had some good sex.

Oh, there's nothing like putting shelves up.

And then it's hot. Like, I actually get a.

Taking a dip into your girlfriend.

There's all these studies that are like, women find housework sexy and, like, I don't find that. That's not what. I don't need that. I was like, I don't get that I'll empty my own dishwasher, but you with a drill and, like, helping it was hot.

Well, what's nice. I would encourage ladies to explore the handyman fantasy with your guy, because not only will you have just a super hot role play, you'll finally get that door fixed. Everyone wins. Speaking from my own experience with the purge. Right. And the week that I was doing it, you, I think, were a little jealous of the fact that I was diving deep into my living space.

That's all I talk about, is my house. And you're doing it?

Yeah. Because for six days you'd be like, how was your day? And I was like, oh, my God, I threw this away. And then I went and I got these new carpets. And you were like, I think you're being selfish. That's what you. That's how you describe me.

No.

And now you understand it. And now you understand it that diving deep into your house. Diving deep into your house is like going to a year of therapy in one almost insanity, boundary pushing week. Because if you do the deepest of dives where you open up that, you know that cabinet that's been closed for four years and just has crap in it, and you go through that shit like, it is a physical tour of your attempts at shielding yourself from reality over a period of years that just builds up like a crust and you have to chip away at it layer by layer by layer. And it sucks. But it's really weirdly rewarding and kind of addicting once you know that you're going so deep that you're gonna clean out every closet. And that's what you're going through now. And it's raw because it's kind of a referendum on how you got here, you know? And I think, what do we talk about? Like, don't fixate. Don't fixate on how you got here. Fantasize about where you're going.

Yeah, you know, how did this happen? How did this happen? But then when I get into the moment, I'm like, God, there's a lot every. Yeah, I just have to.

I just have to assure you that the whole how did this happen? Thing, once you're done and you have your new space set up and you're meditating in a room that you fucking love, the whole how I got here thing will then become a useful question because you're able to answer it in a space that represents the next phase of your life. And you can reflect on it in a way that's like, wow. That. That really was incredible to me now that I was living like that for such a long time. And I'm so thankful for where I am right now. I should always be wary of that feeling when I think about it and never let it back into this new, incredible circumstance that I'm in. And I think it's gonna. I think it's gonna change your life, honestly. Finally having a space that feels like Emily Morris the second you walk in, you know? And that's what it is with me, dude. I walk in every night when I come, you know, if I Come home from a show or from your place. I fucking. I sound to music that shit in the middle of my living.

I know you did a good job, but can I just. I can't get past the cel. It was only because I was so happy for you and of course I was.

You were so happy for me. You were a huge.

I was having intense meetings in New York. No, see, this is. You know. And you were like, I saved it.

For when you were away for a whole week.

It was a throwaway comment because I was like, for four days. You were like, I gotta. You weren't like asking about anything about me and I was listening to you and I usually just be like, how's it going in New York?

I'm sorry, baby, but I was into it for you.

But I was like, I don't care. That's why I said, can we just talk when I get back?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were like. We had a conversation. It was like Emily and I, our conversations are always really good, but sometimes when the energy's off, it's just a little like.

Well, when I travel it's hard. We just.

Okay, yeah. Uh huh.

That's a tug. We get bad.

You know it's bad when you're like, so what else is new? Oh, you're fucked if you ask, so what else is new?

Have I said that?

No, I mean, if you say that in a conversation after, you know, something of a pause, the energy's off on that one. And then you were just like, how about we just don't talk until I get back? And I was like, what?

It was like Monday I would get back Thursday and I just couldn't. So that was good for you. It was inspiring. And I've done this even like 10 years since I moved here, so I just feel like it's a growth. It's a, It's a growth phase. So thank you for supporting me for.

This and I am very proud of you. You're doing an incredible job because you're in.

Yeah, I'm in it now. And I found like all the cool, like, stuff from the beginning too. Like I'm. I have every letter I've ever received from any guy I've ever dated in this. We haven't gotten there. This one folder, this one huge box. What box? All my love. It's in the garage. Every sex toy. And then all the old sex. I'm like, the first show, the first 20 show. Like all the.

Yeah, talk about the memorabilia you found.

It's all in there. Like I found the first. So when I started this, every single podcast, I did the first day of podcast, I filmed them. So I have the mini. The mini tapes, mini DVs, mini DVDs from the first 50 podcasts from 2005, which I haven't looked at. Cause who has a mini dv? Who has a camera?

I also have a bag of mini DVDs.

Well, you do those I found. So my first notes from like writing. I used to hand write everything. So I have these whole thing of journals and notes about, like, the first ideas and what shows and what guests I was gonna buy. And I printed notes from every show and how long it's been and press articles and just the climb, you know, it's like everything in there is this. Is this from San Francisco and making the show and the initial ideas and the thoughts and the guests and every single sex book. Now the most were in the office and toy and just. It was just. It's been in a. For so long. It was about creating this show from a place of passion. And then it was the struggles of being broke and putting everything on the line to. Sometimes when you go through periods like that in your life when you struggle, like, financially for something, and then you have a fear, first of all, that's gonna go away. So there's a part that's like, is it really gonna. Is everything really gonna be okay? So there's a lot of that in there. Like stuff I can get rid of that I bought years ago that I don't need to, and things are gonna be okay. And knowing. Trusting the process and knowing that, like, you're in a different place now, so. Made me feel like. Like it was emotional too, because I was like, I'm not in the same place that I used to be. And it's come so far, but for so long, it's. It's. It's been everything my entire world has been about the show and making, you know, company support and I've Support people and their families and, you know, it's amazing. But to look at that and then realize that a lot of it, the stuff that I even talk about, right, That I need to. All the answers and all the things and all the help by people, I have to start giving that to myself as well. Now I'm at a certain place where I can kind of have a full life. It doesn't have to just be this. I'm no longer in that struggle, that climb. It feels good to have gone to another place.

I left you alone for the last two Nights after we did the major rearrangement, knowing that you're in it and you're just gonna spend. Like, you're gonna stay up late. You texted me, like, three in the morning. You never stay up that late. And I was like, whoa, she is in it.

Cause all that crazy stuff in the kitchen, like, what is that stuff? Like, I don't even know what was happening in the kitchen.

What was the most ra. You found in the most random place?

Oh, my God. I.

I don't even know what something I was gonna ask you. Like, I saved weird.

Like, I had a. I held onto a bagel slicing machine.

Why?

That was my granddad's, but it was huge. You put it on the countertop and you'd plug it in, and it was this big box, and you'd drop a bagel into the top and it would slice it.

You saved it. What?

No. No.

You didn't save it. You got rid of it. See, that's the thing also, like, getting. Right. The kitchen just said everything. Like, why do I have underwear in the kitchen? Like, why do I.

Why did you have underwear in the kitchen?

No, there's just like, piles of things that have come out.

Why is there underwear in the kitchen?

I'm a very. I don't know. Like, it was like in this box or someone had sent me. And then I was like, oh, it was like a pair of. That I'd been looking for, and it was in some bag that I'd used for something else. I have a lot of little bags I'm obsessed with. So here's the other thing that I've learned. I am obsessed with being organized. So for many, this has been an iteration of my life. Like, I've always wanted to be organized, right? So I. I used to go to like, the dollar stores, like in. This is in San Francisco too. And I would just go. Because I. And I would try to buy organizers and I'd go study classes like that. This guy wrote a book, David Allen, Getting things Done. I read it like, six times, and it's a. And I went to one of his seminars, like, 15 years ago at organizing. Because my dream. I have notebooks and the. And the tabs. And, you know, I'm very 80. It's hard for me. And so I realized that most of my how is like this attempt or failed attempts to organize so little organizers than organizers to be organized, but yet I'm not. I haven't executed. So, like, it's all I want is to have order. But yet in that striving. It's just chaotic.

It was a lot of unorganized boxes of organizers.

Exactly. So that's what we're all. Yeah. Putting together.

The advantage being, however, is that once you. Once you finally dive deep and get organized, you already have all the organizers, you know, now it's just. I mean, it's just time to use them, you know? I think now you can wake up and look yourself in the mirror and say, I am no longer the kind of person that will find underwear in my kitchen.

Do you think so?

I think so. I really do.

You think I can, like, find the phone before I'm leaving? And the keys. We'll have a bowl.

I mean, you're still, you know, Emmy, like, there's gonna be a little bit of that, but not like it was before.

Every time you come over, you call me. Call my phone.

Oh, yeah. Hey, Siri, call Emmy.

It's fine. It's all cool.

We found a lot of crazy sex toys. And then you found the one that you just gave me. That pulse thing.

Exactly. That was your present. Oh, baby, tell me, what do you think of it? I knew that you. Okay, so this is the pulse by High octopus. Pulse three.

And it's a male masturbation device.

It's a guy braider.

It's a guy braider, and I needed you to try it. I was excited. And I'm glad that you were excited about it because you had mentioned to me, like, why don't they have anything for men? I'm like, wait a minute. I just got it. Potted octopus. My friend Adam started it. He's now a friend since he started the Adam who I met. He started the company, like, four or five years ago. And I was like, this is gonna be big. And now you gotta get your.

It's basically a robot that hugs your dick and has a seizure until you orgasm.

Yeah, that sounds amazing.

It's pretty cool.

So it targets the frenulum, which is. I think it's interesting that men don't know the name, but it's kind of the clitoris.

Frenulum.

Frenulum.

Frenulum.

F, R, E, N. F as in frank and penis.

Who the hell's thinking of these terms for my junk? My. My frenulum, which is on my penis. What?

I don't know why they named it the frenulum.

How about the hat?

Maybe like the G spot, named after Grafenberg. Like a dog. A male doctor.

Wait, that's named after a dude?

Yep.

So if I found it, you'd be like, oh, Hit my B spot.

Yeah, exactly. But you didn't yet.

Whoa.

No, you have. Find out your sake.

Take that back.

You have. It's all good.

How could you say that?

I thought it'd be funny. You found all the spots. The Freddy lung is the most sensitive.

I have made you scream like you're walking on a loved one getting murdered in front of your face.

Remember Grease in the cave? Remember that?

Yeah, Yeah, I know you love talking about orgasms. It's fun.

They're great.

Yeah, I know.

So you were talking about how I have never found your G spot.

Yeah, no, you have found it. It's fine. But your frenulum. The men have it underneath the tip of their penis and people don't.

Can we call it my benulum?

Much better.

Yes.

Let'S call it that. Who's Fred? Yes.

So the pulse goes on my benulum and I turn it to turbo mode.

Because I know you like your phenylalanine. Not every guy. But I want. Right?

And. Dude, turbo mode. Oh, my God. It's intense. It's a little. Sometimes it's too intense. I'm like, do I want to go use the.

What does it feel like, though? So the frenulum is a sensitive spot, like I'm saying, under the tip a little on the underside of the penis. It's where the tip meets a shaft. That's the frenulum. For everyone who doesn't know yet, but you've always known. There's my question about you. When the tip meets a shaft, when you always. You've liked that spot on your penis before just because we didn't have a name for it.

I've always liked that spot on the penis.

I don't know, though, every. I think many men do, but they don't know that it says, but. So when you're masturbating on your own, do you target the frenulum?

Yeah. You have to.

Okay.

I don't know that if I'm tugging from the bottom, it's just gonna wave around like one of those.

So your thumb's always over that car dealership. You're what?

You know, one of those big floppy guys in front of car dealerships. If you start from the bottom and you're not fully, fully erect, that's kind of what it looks like.

Your penis just goes back and forth.

Yeah. And I paint. Like, I paint eyes on it and put little hands on it just because if I complete the metaphor. Yeah. And. And I offer a great discount on a 2003 Corolla. I mean, honestly, if the guys are listening and you want to try something completely different that you will use, give it a go.

What does it feel? How is it different than your masturbation sessions?

It's very different. It is very different. It is very. There's such intense.

Concentration on the one. On the one most sensitive spot I have found. I like using it with actual motion.

You know, because you could just let it. You could just rest it upon your penis.

Oh, I've done that. That's for the lazy jerker. That's great.

But that's. That's true. It actually was created for people with disabilities, so people who don't have all brains of motion, they could just have it sit there and masturbate their penis.

It was great for people, really.

Initially it was like a medical device.

I can't wait for my favorite sex toy. Emily has a house. Once that's set up, I'm. Once that's set up, you have made a promise to me that once I help you get your home set up, you and I are gonna start an exploration journey together.

Right? So that's another interesting thing which I wasn't gonna ever bring up, but I'm clearly.

I mean.

Go for it.

I don't want this. My life. Yes, we're gonna start a journey because all the. I've actually become one of my listeners that my boyfriend is asking me to make it more interesting right now. When I've been super overwhelmed with things.

That's the thing. I get it, dude. Look, I love you. I'm happy to help you, ferry you into this next phase of being. You know what I'm saying? Like, big things are coming up for you and it's. I think if we do one thing, you and I is like, we have a unique ability to tunnel into each other's psychosis and be like, dude, fucking give me a hug. It's gonna be okay.

Yeah, you know that's true. Thank you.

You're my best friend. Ylam.

Now that your new house is dawning, do you think you're gonna be one of those people that makes their bed every morning?

Yes, that is one of my goals. That is one of my goals. Ben, all those self help coaches and all those performance coaches, they're always like, make your bed every morning. Successful people make their bed. Happy people make their bed. So their make your bed for a better sex life was in the news this week. Making your bed can actually boost your sex life and happy relationships, according to a new study. So look at the differences between those of us who make our beds and those who are guilty of leaving the sheets untucked. So it turns out that people who make their beds have more sex.

Yeah, because they have a made bed to have sex in.

Obviously. But here's what's interesting, that non bed makers are identified as introverts, more likely to be night people, and those who make their beds are more like morning people. So I have all the traits of an. So listen, people who make their bed, these are their profile. Ready? They are a morning person, wake up without an Alarm, has sex three times a week. Their average nap is 43 minutes. They are. They work in the health or tech fields, they enjoy jazz, they watch episodes of House Hunters and romantic movies and personality traits. This is make. Make their bed. So I'm not going to.

They enjoy. They enjoy jazz. Nothing, nothing goes with a tucked in duvet like a little Miles Davis. Am I right? What?

Folding the corners of my bed.

How did that happen? I don't want to be a bed maker because I'm not. Because here's the people who don't make.

Their bed because you hate jazz.

I don't love jazz. They don't make their bed. They are a night person. They snooze the alarm for getting up. They have sex twice a week. Their nap is 50 minutes instead of 43. I don't know who's saying nap. What I'm seeing is time to nap. They're more likely to be in business or financial fields and they enjoy rock music. They watch episodes of Seinfeld and comedy movies. And their traits include shy, moody, curious and sarcastic. So I don't know if this is not science here.

That just sounds like to me that people who make their bed have a job and the people who don't make their bed either or depressed or like.

Right. Anyway, I'm gonna start making my bed more just because I know that that is part of a habit of having a healthy life in the morning. Not that I don't make it, but it's been messy lately.

I don't necessarily make my bed as much as you just fold the comforter back over. You know what I'm saying? The key to keeping your bed made is to tuck everything in at the front of the bed. Right. So everything at the front of the bed is tucked in so it's anchored. So then you just kind of get in and get out.

You mean the foot of the bed?

The foot of the bed, yeah, the foot of the bed. Tuck all that in so it holds everything in the right Place. And then when you sleep, you just sleep. And you get up, you just, you know, toss over the covers. Get up.

Duvet. You just throw it over.

Yeah. And then just. And then just fold it back down.

Got it. Thank you. True.

Boom. Life fixed.

Life fixed.

Now you can enjoy rock music and not feel guilty.

Exactly.

Take it to a jazz concert.

We are going to take a quick break. Go make your bed if you want to. If you don't, no press. And we are going to be answering your emails back with Ben Morrison.

All right, Ben Morrison, where can people find you? What's your.

I am Ben the Morrison on all social platforms.

That's true.

And places.

So check him out because he's funny.

You kicking me off already?

No, we're gonna answer your emails. Okay? So I love answering your questions, so please send them along. You can text Ask Emily all one word to 797-979. You can also go to our website, sexwithme.com click the Ask Emily tab. Include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. This is from Amelia, 33, in San Francisco. Hey, Emily. I love the show. I'm currently 33 and in a long distance open relationship. My boyfriend and I have known each other since high school, but this first time we've been together outside of friendship. I originally brought the subject of an open relationship to the table to help with the long distance, but I'm starting to feel like I'm the secondary and the new partner is the primary. My boyfriend is in a casual relationship with a 46 year old woman who is a showgirl and the physical embodiment of perfection. He talks about her all the time and never seems to have the same excitement when referring to me. Even their sex life is more active when they're together. And. And she also lives in another state. It's breaking my heart and making me feel like I'm worthless. Is this a sign that open relationships aren't for me or is this just a rough patch to work through? Okay, Amelia, everything you're feeling here makes total sense. So you're in a long distance relationship. And I understand why you might have said open relationship. Could. Could help us out. We're not in the same city together. You want to have sexual way, I want to have sex. When we're away, the challenges are when you're in an open relationship. I mean, when you're in a long distance relationship, first of all, you want to make sure that you actually have that you have a plan to see each other as frequently as you need to, but also you plan to eventually move to the same city and that you're really working on that part of it. Because the sex can't be as present. You have to enhance intimacy in other ways. On the phone, using FaceTime, all these things. There's all these great ways now to be in a long distance relationship. However, an open relationship, I think isn't the best, best solution for people in a long distance relationship. If you haven't talked through all of these things and practice like how. What are our boundaries? Are you allowed to sleep with other people? You know, more than once, are there going to be sleepovers? You know, you need the boundaries. So it sounds to me what you're realizing is you have a boyfriend, you love him, but this isn't working for you. Whatever, long, whatever open relationship you've negotiated isn't working. So I think you have to go back and talk to him and let him know exactly how you're feeling and that maybe you need to restructure this arrangement. Because that wouldn't feel great to me if I was like, you're not. When you're not having sex with your partner and you're a long distance thing and then you're out with someone who's. You're jealous of, who's hot. Like, you don't need all this information, so you probably just need to. Emelia, handle this setup of the open relationship part differently when you're in long distance.

Part of the kink of open relationships is the coming together of partners where while you're having sex, you kind of discuss the other experiences you've had. It's the turn on of this is what you did. And now it's our time together and with the secondary partners. You know, you and your primary partner, if it is going to be a true open relationship, need to be physically together frequently, much more so than secondary partners. Or you're just setting yourself up for disaster because you're doing this in a long distance relationship. You're stripping yourself of the ability to have a lot of physical proximity to your partner where you can sexily and lovingly discuss experiences with secondary partners. You kind of set yourself up for disaster with this. And I think these are, this is the natural outcome of the situation that you decided would be the best answer. So my advice is to entitle, break up and stay friends while he does his thing.

I don't think they need to necessarily break up, but what I think is that not everybody.

What's the alternative? Live together?

No. Well, they could Decide that they're really. That they really actually want to make it work. And they're not going to no longer be open and they're going to work on their intimacy. They're going to work on him visiting each other.

But I think the failure of that is probably what led to them having this arrangement in the first place.

We don't know. We don't know how long they've been together and how long it's been long distance for some people. They're like, I just feel bad that we can't always have sex. Let's try this out. And without having a stronger foundation. Like, I don't know if they were living in the same city for five years and then that happened, that might be different. But I know they've known each other since high school. But if you don't have that basis and that open relationships, swinging all that threesomes, you have to be. Be held on your house. If your relationship has to be built on rock and not on sand, you have to have this very strong foundation to use house analogies throughout the show today. So if.

But you have to actually both live in the house built on rock.

Right. Or even the foundation has to be strong. I'm not sure that they have that yet. So they have to go back to. Yeah. And not all couples want to have sex and talk about it.

Correct.

But I think I know that's your thing that you like.

You hear about long distance relationships a lot. You hear about open relationships a lot. But you. You rarely hear about long distance open relationships.

Right. As I'm saying is that sounds.

There's a reason for that.

Yeah. Because you're basically outsourcing the sex.

My advice is de title the relationship. Assume that he's your best friend. And if in the absence of an actual title in the relationship and continued exploration in your separate worlds now, which is now legal, you just can't take it and have to be together. Then you're in love. And you need to rearrange your life to facilitate that. But the way it's going now with this situation, you're only gonna drive yourself nuts.

This is harmful for her because you're saying to me, it's breaking my heart and making me feel like I'm worthless. So what I feel is I don't want a negative pattern to get set up here where you're feeling worthless and that this isn't working for you. But if he can kind of, you guys can agree that this no longer serves you the open part and go back to Just see, you have to talk to him and see how he feels about this, because this particular arrangement isn't working. And that's totally okay.

Well, I mean, I think he's probably gonna wanna keep this arrangement going because he has this person who's to have all the fun he wants with, and then he can come running back to you for all the emotional. The emotional support. So I think it's a great situation for him. I don't think he's. There's.

But he might think she's here. I'm glad they're playing this out. They might not have discussed the fact that if it gets hard for either one of us, we're gonna keep checking in. We're gonna once a week, we're gonna talk about how it's going. And so this might. It might have just been happening a month now. And she's like, oh, my God, he's seeing someone in a few months. So I just think she has to share with him. He might be like, babe, I will drop the showgirl for you. Let's get back to this. Or they might say, you're right. Let's keep it open.

I think we both know that's not going to happen. I think the well has been poisoned at this point and they need to de title their relationship so they don't go crazy.

Okay, Ben. Yeah, that could be. That could be an option. That could be true. Yeah.

The male and female perspective, it's very.

Hard to get back to when she's always going to be picturing him with someone else. It's hard. I agree. There could be a lot. But they got.

If she's this. If she's this jealous and hurt right now, this is only going to get worse if they keep on with this.

So thank you. I think you just have some serious talks with him and be honest with yourself. And if you have no plans to move to the same city, you're not gonna see each other frequently. And this doesn't work for you. You don't stay in the relationship. Get some more information. This is from Confused in the Midwest. Dear Emily, I'm writing you because I'm madly in love with my wife. We've been married for a few months, but have had intimacy issues for years. We've been to couples therapy. The therapist suggested we have more sex, but because eventually she will become more comfortable, this had the opposite effect. She began to let her mind and body part ways. After each lovemaking session, she cried her eyes out. A couple of years ago, she remembered being sexually Assaulted by a family friend as a child. She said she blocked it out, but something sparked her memory. I'm stuck, Emily. The last thing I want to do is leave my wife, and I'm afraid I will if she does not try to repair the damage from that piece of shit family member. As a kid, being physical is how I show my love. And I want to protect my wife. I understand this is a traumatic experience, and I'm willing to do what it takes. My wife thinks we'll get. This will get better without therapy. That is what we've tried for the past two years with minimal improvement. I have no idea what to do anymore. Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Okay, so here's the thing about sexual trauma. Untreated trauma really doesn't go away. It stays with you. And so she really needs some more time in therapy by herself. So. And it can be really hard for her to deal with it on her own. So just let her know that this is not. I'm not just saying this. If you talk to any other expertise, trauma expert, therapy, trauma therapist, she's got to do the work. So it sounds like it's good that it came out in couples therapy, but this is the kind of work she, again, she has to do on her own. Like, EMDR therapy is great for people with trauma. There's a lot of other things. So I think it's going to be a slow process. You have to be patient and learn to be really supportive in other. In other ways with her while she's going through this, because I know that you love her, and it sounds like she really. She does want to do the work, but it can also. This can also be a very, like, you know, trying time to realize you had trauma, which a lot of people are going through right now.

I mean, the good news is that I don't. I think this is a lot less a problem with your new marriage than it is with her stored trauma. So I think this is gonna be your opportunity to, as a new husband, man up and hold her hand through what has got to be a long and dedicated course of her own personal therapy about this. Because if she's crying after sex, it doesn't have to do with you. It's relating to a lot of horrible memories that she's never processed. And that's gonna keep happening until she gets into a long and dedicated talk therapy program that you are going to be loving and supportive through. If you want to get your sex life back and you want your wife to not Be haunted by this.

The really important thing here. And Ben, you reminded me this when you said this, is that this could be the thing that if you really show up and you are the loving, supportive husband as she's going through this, you're gonna build communication and enhance intimacy through this one experience. And I think your sex life will be so much better, deeper, more satisfying than it ever would have been before had you guys not get into this issue right now. So you could look at it that way, that it's going to be serving you for a lifetime of connection. So right now I think you gotta hold her hand, support her, go to. If she, if she refused to go to therapy, I have a problem with that. I. I think that, that she has to want to go and do the work. But if you're with her and supporting it, I think it's gonna. It will heal her and heal your relationship and your sex life.

Emily is having much stronger orgasms now that she sees me also as the man that fixed her house.

It's true. I feel more love for you. Okay, so this is from Ben 25 in Florida.

Not me.

Another Ben. Hey, Emily, New subscriber to your show and it's life changing. Recently, I broke up with my fiance because I noticed she had mentally checked out. Our sex life had plummeted and I knew she wasn't happy. She was okay with the breakup because she knew that she had given up on the relationship. We ended up having sex the night of our breakup and a couple more times since then. We're currently still living and sleeping in the same bed while trying to figure out our living situation and how to split everything. I'm honestly still madly in love with her, but I just knew that she wasn't happy. But I regret the breakup. She wants to continue having fun and hanging out since we're both best friends and we're still living together. We continue to go about kind of like nothing has changed and it's really messing me up. We work on every level together, but she believes that we just don't click. And she loves me, but she's not in love. She's acting very hot and cold loving and then now acts like she wants to live together while also finding another place. It's confusing me entirely and would greatly appreciate any advice. Sorry for how long this one was. That is Ben. It was long. I understand what you're going through, so I understand. There's a lot going on in her head. She's back and forth. She's back and forth. It doesn't sound like this is the healthiest situation for you right now.

She wants to break up, but you guys are together and she still has feelings for you. Because when you break up with someone, you still love them. Like it's not the end of it, right? Well, unless it's a horrible breakup. I know you've had some of those, Ben, but I feel like. Like it's still loving enough that you guys can share a bed. But she's just that sure and confused. Which sounds like that still hasn't changed. You just happen to be living together.

And so she can't share a bed. Get out of there.

Well, he's gotta move out as soon as possible.

Get out of there. Stop it. What are you doing to yourself? I've been in this situation and it was the most toxic situation ever. Yeah, where I broke up with someone, but we were still living together and shared.

But why. But you're doing that because you probably can't afford to move out.

I was doing that because I was biding my time with someone that I knew I needed to get away from. And it was really only a month and it was horrible. And that was. It was the most toxic situation ever. And that was without the other party thinking that everything was hunky dory and we could keep doing this. In this situation, if you're madly in love with her, this is torture to you. You need to go and stay at a friend's place. You need to go and get a hotel. You need to have her go stay at a friend's place. But you have got to stop sharing a bed. And you have to cut off contact with her because whatever she's going through is causing her to need all kinds of emotional support that are contrary to where you are and where and what you're able to give. And you're warping yourself to be able to facilitate her need for emotional support and all these crazy random levels and you can't do it anymore.

Ben, it sounds like this is really personal for you. You've had this. This exactly what happened to you. But I think this is. See what I wasn't sure here is if he still loves her, that he's still like. I mean, I'm not sure that. Ben, hold on a minute. I think you're. Here's the thing. I didn't see all the damage and the manipulation that she's doing because my brain goes to like, oh, well, maybe they're still communicating on level. But you are right to look at this and say that she.

She's saying, hey, I don't want to be committed to you, but I still want to own you.

I was that. I was like that girl. I've done that. Yeah. Just in a way of like, I wasn't committed, but I still love you. Let's not be in love. Teeth are 25. So I agree. If they can move out, he just. He's got to move out and get his own place because it's not going to change. And then if you guys are meant to be together and you're in separate places and it works out.

You know what? Now that I believe it meant, here's my prediction. You listen to us, you take our advice, you move out, you establish your own life. You have probably the hardest year of your entire life, but then you get on your feet and you're doing great. The phone rings a year later, it's her. She went on her little fucking journey of finding out that people suck. And lo and behold, she has not been hugged and snuggled like you snuggle her. And she doesn't like watching Netflix with anyone else. And you know, maybe she got involved with some weird people and you know, she's like, got a fucking STD or something like that. Trust me. Get out of her toxic path right now. Establish a life independent of this whole situation. Thrive and watch her come back to you.

Wow, Ben, is that what happened to you?

Yep.

Did she have an std?

No, no, no. I just thought I'd throw that in for some flair.

No, but.

But the point is, I. I got away from a talk toxic situation like that and re established my entire life. And it was difficult. It was the hardest two years of my life, the most rewarding two years of my life. And at the end of those two years, after I had done the work and walked through the fire, I met you. And because I had done the work and gone through the fire, I was able to hold on to you. Because I deserved someone like you. Because I had done the work and walked through the fire and gotten away from toxicity. You have to do that now too, Ben.

Wow. He's like your. Your soul brother here. I think that was really. Thank you, Ben. Thank you for sharing that, for being vulnerable. I think he's got to take care of himself. You gotta go, you gotta move out. Establish your place. And when couples stay together because they can't afford, go stay with your friends. It's not a real breakup if you are sharing a bed. This is from Mark, 32 in Chicago. Hi, Emily. I have a question about my penis and My fetish. Is it normal to have a slight curvature to the penis? Is this caused by masturbating or is it normal? I am in a new relationship, the connection is great and the sex is amazing. I'm a little nervous to mention my pantyhose fetish. I don't wear them. I just enjoy the way they look and feel on women. Should I just keep this to myself? Should I slowly drop hints? What's your advice? Thank you for creating a sex positive atmosphere. Okay, Mark, here's the thing about your penis. Some penises have a curve. It's totally normal. It's not for masturbating. It's just how you're born. And I actually think a curvy penis can be very beneficial if you are looking for G spots or something like that, or just in life.

That's exactly my note too. If your guy veers to the left a little bit, spin yourself to the right when you're doing the do. And that little curve is gonna hit her G spot in a way that no penis before ever has. Make your curve work for you, buddy.

Make work for you. We're not looking at your penises like men are looking at their penises way more than women are.

How many perfectly straight dildos have you seen? They all got a curve. And your dick has that same curves. You got a dildo dick, son. Use it.

Here's my thing. I think the more comfortable that we all are talking about these things, the sooner if that's really your fetish, you're calling it a fetish. A fetish means you actually, it's a requirement for you to orgasm. So I think that if you want to be honest and truthful and you like this person, I think.

You gotta talk. You could just bring it up. You could talk about it. And I wouldn't say this is a first or second date thing unless you guys are sleeping together right away. But as long as you know you're gonna get intimate, be like, hey, let's talk. So what are you into sexually? See what they say? You can be like, oh, yeah, you know, I got this thing for pantyhose. Do you have any? I think it'd be so hot to see you in them. Done. Like, don't make it weird. Cause it's not weird to you. So I feel like the more comfortable you could be about it and just say, would you be into that? Or I think it's hot. Or, you know, I don't know, like just normalize it and have a conversation about sex that it will. It's gonna be great practice for you, Mark, because this is your thing. Like, this is with you. So I think the more that's the thing you come up, you talk about in every new relationship. Like, and if the person's not into it or she freaks out, you could probably just, you know, explain to what it's meant to. You don't have to rush. She doesn't have to wear pantyhose. Maybe having pantyhose presence would serve you, but I think just the more comfortable we all get talking about these things that we think our partner's gonna freak out about. You're going to find that nine out of 10 times, your partner is not gonna run away and freak out. They're actually that whatever you're afraid to talk to your partner about is actually gonna make you closer and bring you closer together. But take it slow. You're gonna know when you're with someone you can trust and bring it up.

I also don't sound like none of this sounds like it's a big deal at all.

None of it.

You know, so what, you got a curvy, you got a little curve in your johnson, and you like stockings, man. Big deal.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? And, like, I wouldn't, like, sit her down and be like, we should talk. Just be like, if you're looking at a photo, just basically just hang out, be cool. And if you see a girl in a photo or on TV or something who's wearing some sweet pantyhose, just be like, that is hot. And then they'll be like, ooh, what? And you'll be like, ugh, those pantyhose. Those are hot. And then she'll be like, oh, my God, should I wear them? And you'll be like, oh, my God, that'd be so great. And, like, it's not a big deal. Just point it out casually. Let them take the lead, and then follow up from there. And then it's like, they brought it up.

Yeah. It's almost like saying, like, looking at something for Italian food. Like, that restaurant. Just be great. Let's go try this restaurant. Like, if you point, you would point that out in a relationship, I'd love us to feel more comfortable. Like, I love if you're watching a movie or someone has pantyhose. Like, I think pantyhose are hot.

Do you wear them like, I want to fuck you on a pile of fettuccine Alfredo. Wait until Top Chef and let them do the work for you.

Exactly. Whatever works. This is from H36, Austin, Texas. Hey, Emily. I love your podcast. I like how naturally and openly you talk about sex and pleasure. First, let me say that I'm divorced, currently single, straight, but wishing I was having more sex. You mentioned you were able to have a vaginal orgasm with a toy. What toy did you use or recommend? I have the womanizer, by the way. Thanks for that. But the internal toys.

It's so good.

Thanks for that.

The internal toys. I've tried hurt me. Number two, how do you have safe oral sex? I recently discovered oral and I love it. God, can you imagine being the first time you discover oral? Like, that is good. Go back to that day. I've always worried about STDs. It just doesn't. Does not seem fair that I gave a blowjob with a condom and he gives me oral sex without it. Thanks in advance for your help. Okay, h. This sounds. I love your questions here because first of all, love to talk about G spots. Okay, what did I use the first time? I think it was the. Yeah. The Njoy Pure Wand, which is a dildo. It's an amazing steel dildo. The We Vibe rave is awesome for finding your G spot. It's like. It's. It has all those little facets and faces on it.

It's the G Spot gps.

It is. The GPA knows all my toys. It is a G Spot gps. So I would try the Rave and go slow, patient, and also do your Kegel exercises. I'm telling you, doing your Kegels will help build that G spot and help.

You find your G spot with the Rave. They can pair it with the We Connect app and they can swipe through the different patterns and intensities to find the one that most appropriately stimulates your G spot.

Ben knows my toys so well. You're right.

This is what happens when you go out with Emily.

It really does. You're right. So you can use an app with it, which is fun. I actually love the apps. I like, literally wish every toy had an app now. Like, we connect. Okay, so. And here's the thing. I love this also, that you actually use condoms for oral sex, because. For performing on demand. Because that is the way we're all concerned about STDs. That is a. You can catch it that way. So it's great to use one for you. You can use a condom. You can use a dental dam. So when your partner's going on down on you, a dental dam is great. They can still get an STD from giving you oral. And then you can also have the have you been tested? Conversation.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah. Who uses dental dams?

Who the hell uses dental dams?

Let me tell you about this.

And could they maybe think of a better name that would make people want to use it? Be like, oh, baby, I can't wait to gently kiss your clitoris and bring you to slow, sultry climax. Now just put on this. Dental. Damn.

So not hot. You're right.

Dental. Nothing is sexy about dental. The word dental.

Because they got it from dentists. We need a new name for it. Like, I think you're right.

The dentist is scary. I don't want to think about that when I'm going down on you.

Can I be honest? I agree.

The only thing I want to do involving the dentist is drill you good. I want to feel your cavity.

So here's the thing about dentalism. No one uses them, but they should.

No. I mean, come on.

They feel good. No, here's my. They do.

The clitoris, which is so sensitive with 8,000,000,000 nerve endings that it's a different sensation. So putting that thin piece of, like, latex or whatever, it actually can feel good. It's like, I think everyone's. You could put a vibrator over it. Like, it feels good. So if you are truly concerned.

Yeah, but I mean, it would feel good to stick my dick into a can of baked beans, but I'm not gonna do that. I actually. I think I want to try that out.

You could do that?

I have a can at home. I was never gonna eat them.

Yeah, I thought. Men, right?

Hey, baby. I'm fucking the beans. How's show? Too.

Be careful. Listen. But people don't typically do this, but I'm telling you, I've tried it, and it doesn't feel great.

You fucked a cannabis?

It feels great. No. Did you? Don't get cut on the metal can.

Oh, yeah. No. I probably put them in a microwave safe.

Right. Of course. First, don't hurt your junk. First of all, have the. Have you been tested Conversation and dental tams, though they don't sound sexy. They might feel good to you, but that's really your solution to it. And you could also take a condom and make your own dental dam by cutting off the tip. Let me go back to your G spot real quick. Is that it Took me time to find it. Make sure. Make sure you have clitoral orgasms first. If you already have orgasms that weigh. So. Yeah. You like the womanizer, dude. Use the womanizer. Get Turned on. It's great to have something under your back. So you can use a pillow. Lift up. You can lift your pelvic floor up. That can help. Just try different angles and move that toy around. Like it's kind of. If you get the rave, like, it does have these facets and faces because all the T shirts in different places.

You need clitoral stimulation while also being able to stimulate your clitoral legs, which extend past the vulva.

So true. It's like an encyclopedia knowledge here. Go slow and reapply. Reapply. Use lots of lube.

I love lube.

Be patient.

You got me into lube.

I did, right? You didn't use lube before. My whole entire nightstand is filled with lube. That one. It's way too much right now. All the bottles we put together.

Oh, yeah. It's really just the thin system. Gel ones that tip over and then kind of open in the drawer and you're like, why does this shit sticky? And why does it smell like watermelon?

Okay, I think we're done here.

I think we're done here.

Jesus.

This podcast has been. It's like playing that old game, the Oregon Trail. We finally made it to California.

Only a couple kids died at dysentery along the way.

Thank you, Ben. The Morrison. But people can. You're doing a show at the Improv in la.

Yeah. Very excited too. I can announce this now. It's official. My show, Superfluous Funny, is now at its new home on the Hollywood Improv, the best night of live comedy you are ever going to see. And the next one is October 28th. Super funny is getting super spooky. And what you listening should do because the lineup is going to be huge. Big names, amazing show. Go to Superfunny show and join the private email list right now because I am going to release the block of comp tickets for my people and the lineup very, very soon. So you want to be the first ones to find out about that. So you can grab some of them comps before they fill up. And they will fill up. So go to Superfunny show, join the email list. I will only email once about this show and be on it so you can come out. Los Angeles, October 28, the Hollywood Improv, 9pm for Super Funny. It's gonna be huge.

Will be funny.

Very funny.

Cool. Okay, thanks, everyone. Thank you to my amazing team. Thank you, Ken, Sarah, producer, Jamie and Michael. And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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