Penises, Pineapples & Sex Life Revival

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com because it's a party going on at sex with emily.com. is that Ryan Madness? Yes. It's so cool there because we've got so much happening. We've got the shop with Emily. All the cool toys I talk about, most of them are there on the site. And I would just love you to go there and go, oop, boop. I'm gonna subscribe. And so I'm gonna get your podcast in my inbox twice a week. Cause that's what we do. That's what we do here.

Yeah, we do podcasts, produce podcasts.

And you can also though, find it. You can subscribe on itunes, Spotify, Soundcloud, Google Play. You can also follow me on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Sex with Emily. It's facebook.com sex with Emily. It's all Sex with Emily everywhere, all the time.

And you can email the show.

Yeah.

Feedbackextofemily.com or right from the website now.

Yes, go to the Ask Emily. It's a lot happening our website. If you haven't been There lately. We changed the whole damn thing.

It's the next level now, dude.

Right? It was a little older. The old one was older. It was like, yeah, it's like that. So now it's better. And we love it and subscribe to our newsletter. That's all. That's just a lot of da, da, da, da, da. But I'm just asking. Now that's out of the way. Recently, we've had some great shows. You should check out Hot Wet Summer Sex, because the show is packed with tips. Help take your summer loving to the next level. The do's and don'ts of getting busy in water. And, like, why, you know, it's the summer, everyone's taking trips so hot, have hot hotel sex. And I am here with menace, as I said, but menace. Here's the funny thing. Summer sex show. I just remembered this. So the day after we recorded the summer sex show, yeah, My mom called me and we were talking about, like, going on a road trip. How that can be such a great way to, like, spice it up with your partner. You don't need a lot of money, but you guys can, like, have hot sex on the road. Why? That's such a fun thing. And my mom calls me. She goes, guess what? Ed and I are taking a road trip, and we're going up to. I can't remember what she said. Somewhere in, like, New York, like, Season falls.

Nice.

Not Niagara Falls, but some other falls. And I was like, oh, my God, mom, you guys should have sex in the car. And she's like, I don't think so. He's. Ed's 83 years old. I think we're have sex in the car. Like, I literally, without even, like. I was like, mom, you should do that. She goes, I don't think we'll do that.

Do you think I would ever have that conversation with my mother? Never.

No. But it was like, oh, my God. I'm like, mom, road trip. Were you listening to my show? And she's like, no, I don't have that long to have sex in the car with that. He's 83.

Do you think women are more open to having sex? Open, obviously, but having a discussion about sex with their parents than a guy would. Because I would never have that kind of conversation. And I don't think any of my male friends would. I think a lot of guys don't, but I do. My female friends, I believe that they do have conversations like, yeah, they do.

I mean, a lot of. I think a lot of women, more so are comfortable Talking to their moms about sex. And I think guys talking to their dads just weird, right? Like.

Yeah.

Or their moms.

I don't want to talk to them.

You don't want to talk to your mom about it? Because that's too, like, mom. Oedipal. Oedipus thing. And then I also think that, yeah, everyone. You know what? People don't. They don't. Not only do they want to have their parents, they don't even talk to their partners.

Yeah.

So if they can't talk to their partners about sex, they're not saying, hey, mom, so when's the last time you had an orgasm? Although I say that to my mom all the time because we record some class. Yeah, I should.

Yeah.

My mom, I don't talk about her sex life, but, you know, he's 83, she's 70. They. They still have sex and they're very happy. So. But down on the road, apparently. So the other thing I want to talk about is. So, you know, I've been going to these. The Somatica therapy training in San Francisco, and I go every other month for the next eight months. And it's been. I've learned a lot. Really transformative. And I'm always talking to you. It's a. It's Celeste and Danielle. So celesteanddanielle.com if you check it out, they've been on the show and they inspired me because I've known them for 10 years. They're renowned sex coaches in the Bay Area, and they came on the show a few months ago, and I was like, I gotta take one of your classes. I'm always saying that they're like, sign up for Somatica. I'm like, what is that? I didn't really, even really know. And I was thinking a class. Well, this is a course. And it's actually been amazing and transformative. So rather than, like, there's a lot that is going on for me. I'm taking this because I want to learn. And then once I learn, I teach you. And again, nothing is really new with sex. Just, like, different ways. You can kind of approach a lot of the challenges that you're having. So these are some things that I. I would just like to share with you that came up for me when I was there a few weeks ago. One of the things that stuck out was Celeste, who's one of the teachers. She would say, God, you know, we all have this psychotic optimism when it comes to relationships. And I thought that was such a great way to put it that, you know, people always think that, like, sex is supposed to be perfect and relationships are supposed to be easy and flawless and you're never gonna hurt the person you love. And you say, God, I never wanna hurt you. I'll never hurt you. But it's like, guess what? Hello? Relationships are about pain and disappointment and repair. They really are. That's part of it. Okay. Like, 67% of your relationship, you might be disappointed, but that doesn't mean that your relationship is over. It means that, like, just accept it. Just like, you know that, like, life is about being healthy and taking care of yourself and going to the gym and eating right. Like, it's about working on your sex life. Cause it's just not gonna always be amazing without working on it. It changes your body changes, your life changes, your partner changes. Sex does. So to have this optimism that, oh, my God, it's no longer perfect, I should go have an affair, or it's no longer perfect, we should break up, or it's no longer perfect, we should have a threesome. No. Guess what? You're normal. And that means that you need to maybe listen to sex with Emily and a better sex. Yeah.

People put so much pressure on relationships.

I know.

Because you know why? Because we go into the relationship on drugs. Because you're falling in love. You're on high. So your brains, like, they looked at the brainwave patterns of people in the honeymoon phase falling in love. It was the same as people on cocaine. Like, that's the high you're feeling, that rush, the serotonin, the adrenaline. Oh, my God, it's amazing. Walking on sunshine doesn't last Walking on sunshine it doesn't last.

And it doesn't last.

And I don't mean to say, like, wah, wah, it's gonna suck. No, it just takes work. It just takes it. And it's a good, fun kind of work. I'm saying, like, oh, my God, maybe you need to masturbate more. Maybe you need to, like, talk about what really turns you on. Is that so bad? No, do it now. You have to talk to your parents about it, talk to your partners about it.

I'm drinking coffee right now.

I know. I'm so glad. So much doesn't sleep.

I don't.

I used to be the non sleeping one.

I know. So question.

Go.

All right, so when a guy or a girl. I'm sure. Same thing when they drink a lot of coffee and then they go to the bathroom, you can kind of smell it. Right. Cool. So what about if you're Giving a blowjob to a guy, that's a big coffee drinker. Do you like. Is there a different.

I've never tasted a guy seaweed and thought it tastes like he just had Sumatra blend. No, no.

You know what I mean? Ooh, that's blue bottle.

Right? Right? Was that blue bottle? You're so fancy. I love blue bottle coffee. No, I mean, there are certain things. Like, it's not just like, if you drink coffee or like, it's gonna do that, but definitely having a healthier diet can change the taste of your semen. But drinking coffee, I've never had one. And actually, I'd be psyched. I'd be like, give me some more of that. Let me suck that down. That scene down. Damn.

I forget what movie it is.

You have to ask your girlfriend about that.

Yeah, I forget what movie it is. I think it's. Damn it. I think it is Fanboys or something like that. It's hilarious. Oh, no. Damn it. I'm sorry. I. I forget the name of the movie.

Okay? But it's a really good movie, and.

It was a really good movie. And it was about how these girls, they wanted to give these guys blow jobs, right? And they kept on hearing that you have to give them pineapple juice. It makes it taste better, right? And then so they're like. Throughout the whole movie, they just keep on giving these guys pineapple juice. And the guys are like, what's going on? And they're like, I don't know. I think these chicks are Mormon.

That's funny. It is true. They say pineapple juice, cucumbers, all that stuff. I mean, just be healthy overall. Have a burger, do whatever you want every once in a while. But the healthy you are, the healthier your semen.

I know.

Now you gotta find the movie.

I gotta find the movie. I know what it is, okay. No, I know who it is.

All right? I'm sorry. You know this stuff. Do you mind? Okay, yeah, go for it. Do you mind? Okay, so we've got some sex in the news. And I know a lot of our sex in the news lately are about dating apps because everyone's dating online. So this one is a new dating app that checks the male female ratio at local bars. So the ritual of hitting bars and hooking up at New York nightclubs is getting increasingly high tech. So there's a new dating app. Tell me if you'd use this menace. It's called wepo, and it allows users to check the male to female ratio at a given bar club before they head out. What, instead of finding out the hard way after shelling out for a car ride and a cover charge? Basically, if it's a sausage fest. Yeah, like, you know, you walk in your bar, you're like, sausage fest.

How do they.

So I don't know.

Oh, I figured, yeah, I know how they do it.

Right. Cause it's like geotagging or whatever.

Yeah. Because, you know all these apps, they ask you if they can use their location. So if there's a bunch of guys, I mean, this is. It could totally be off. Because not everybody's going to have this app on.

That's what I'm saying. I read this, I'm going, well, what if they don't have this repo app but 50,000 people have signed up for it? And they say once a venue with a favorable ratio is found, it allows users to swipe through the profiles of others who are headed there to Tinder styles. You're like, hey, you're heading to this hole in the wall. See you there. So the big idea is to cut short the prolonged chats that have long plagued other dating apps, ending too often with no date at all. So. So you can again hit up these women and be like, hey, you're on the way there. But again, I don't know how you'd know you're on the way there. I guess you'd have to tell the app where you're going because it also does it while you're in the bar. I guess that's how it sounds. Right. So a lot of the girls, it says here, go to high end clubs like Tao or Number eight or Marquee, which typically requires stiff drink prices and drink covers. Young guys meanwhile, gravitate towards no cover bars, particularly those with cheaper drinks. So people want to get effed up having a good time. They want to meet you. This app makes the process a lot easier. I don't know. I don't know if that's right. I mean, honestly, do we need another app to find like, like, literally, like, I'm not going to go to that bar if there are enough chicks there. I just think this sounds kind of lame.

No, it sucks. I love the old stories on how, like, people met at, you know, the grocery store and stuff like that. And now it's just like, I know when it's going to be so weird when there is. They're going to be like grandpas and grandmothers. How you guys met? Well, we're on Tind.

We hooked up.

We hooked up on an app. I Gave your father a blowjob in the car.

And he loved it. So we knew we were meant for each other.

His semen taped like a double latte. It was delicious.

And I was like, mmm, that's scrumptious.

That's a scrumptious semenicious sandwich there.

Yeah.

Yeah. So that's my sex in the news for you medicine.

Nice.

But let's take a little break. We're gonna give a quick shout out to our sponsors. Cause we love them.

I almost had that movie title, by the way.

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Okay, emails, real quick.

Okay, this is the name of the movie with the.

Finally found it. But I think that you would really like this movie, by the way, too, because it's. The movie is called the to do list, Right. Oh, and it has. And it has Audrey Plaza, who I absolutely love. And the movie is about how she's feeling pressured to become more sexually experienced before she goes off to college. So she makes a sexual to do list bucket list.

Yeah.

And then one of them has to do with the blowjob that comes up with the, you know, drinking a pineapple juice.

I already saw the movie, though.

Now there's a pretty good masturbation scene with her too, which I think that she's, like, full on masturbating for real. Really crazy.

Oh, my God, I love her.

Comedy is hilarious.

I don't know.

She's very dry.

I love it. Old movie.

It's an old movie. I think it came out in 2010. So watch it with a partner and then maybe you'll get aroused.

It's all about getting around the to do list. Don't be so afraid to watch some sexy movies with your partner, baby.

I know.

Okay, we're gonna talk about one of my favorite topics in this next email. Hello, Emily. I'm a longtime listener. My question is, I'm totally in love with a girl who is 15 years my junior. I love giving oral, but she won't reciprocate, stating she does not like the taste of my semen. Whoa. We were just talking about it.

She's talking about it. It's crazy how they come together. What, drink pineapple juice.

Sex is amazing, but I would love attention down there. What can I do? Emily, please help. Floyd, age 54. So she's 15 years as junior. So do the math. So she's like 39. Okay, so this is funny, Floyd, because Menace and I, we were talking about this. Not just now, but recently on a show. You don't know about this madness, but you know, because you were there. But you called me out for double standard. There was a girl. There was a girl who called who emailed and said her boyfriend won't go down. And I was like, listen, that's important. Like, you've got to prioritize that if he won't go down. I gave tips and stuff. You're like, emily, that's double standard. You. You Wouldn't say that. If a guy called in. Right in about a blowjob, I'm like, y. Yes, I would. I would give the same exact advice, because oral sex is important, and it's not true.

All right.

Oh, I even got either.

You got butthurt. Because people. Cause I got tweets about it. Guys, like, yeah, you tell Emily. Put her.

I know.

Set her straight. Because I was.

When would I ever. When am I ever just, like, helping the girls or helping the guys? I think oral sex all around. Men should get blowjobs, and women should get oral. Get cunnilingus. And I do not discriminate, no matter if you have penis or vagina. And if that's what you want, that's great. If you want your armpits. I'm not changing my story. Just called me out for nothing.

No, I didn't. Because I said. Because in the past. And anybody can listen to any of.

These podcasts, go to 5,000 podcasts in the past.

Research project says that. I mean, that you get extremely offended when a guy won't perform cunnilingus. True, true. Now then I said. I said, if a girl didn't want to give blowjobs, they're like, well, she just. Just doesn't want to do it. Then you got to live with it.

I've never in my life.

Yeah.

Said that. Just live with it. Because girls never are high.

Right now.

I don't. I wish.

I don't even do parallel.

I don't even do that with my friend. My girlfriends who are like, I don't want to give my husband a blow job. I'm like, let's talk about this. It's really important. It's like flowers for women. How can we make the blowjack out of you? So you're wrong.

All right.

And let's go back to Floyd.

So, Floyd, I'm just gonna.

You're oral.

Do I look more classy holding a Good Vibrations mug. Mug. As I'm talking to you, drinking coffee.

You do. I've never seen you hold a mug. I've never seen you hold any. Like, it's like, you can, like, put some silverware and put a napkin on your lap. Like, that's so civilized.

It's good.

We've never been in a restaurant together either, have we?

Yeah, we have plenty of times. See, you don't remember anything. Like the statements you made before.

Okay, listen, but it's cool.

I'm just gonna let you, you know, it's the Sex on Me show. It's not My show. It's not your show, so do it.

Do it, man. Okay, whatever you think. Here's the thing. Your needs for your penis to be sucked by your girlfriend is totally valid. You're 54. You know, it's important to you. You've had blowjobs. You probably know what it's like to go without them. And. But what you gotta do is you gotta figure out what happened in her past that made her not like blowjobs. This is the conversation.

Sounds like you just had better tasting jizz.

Nope. Listen, this needs this, maybe, but I think she does. Okay, here's the thing. Perhaps, but she won't even go down on them because in the past, she says. She says she doesn't like the taste of semen.

Like the taste.

So she needs to. To be. She needs to say more to you than, like, I just, you know, you need to. Okay, back up, Floyd. You need to change your tune to. You can't just say, I want you to go down to me and her saying no, and then you think you talked about it. That is not a conversation. That's the actual, real communication. So you might want to bump it up a notch and say, you know, I'm wondering, babe, why. Why I know that you don't. You said you, like, perform oral sex because it's about taste. And I'm curious, is there anything else, anything else about oral sex? You know, why you don't want to do it, or, you know, and see what she says? Because the thing is, if it really isn't, maybe, first of all, maybe there was another instance in her past where a guy did have bad tasting jizz. That could be true. Or maybe she feels like she lacks some skills in that apartment. All it takes is one parter telling you that you suck at blowjobs or you suck at Cunningus, or you're bad at sex to, like, ruin you for life. Unless you, like, check in with yourself and go, wait a minute. That was one person's story. I am not a bad cunnilingus provider. I'm better than that. But I don't know what her story is, but it's really important that you get to the bottom of it, because I think that that, to me, would be a deal breaker.

I have a suggestion.

What?

To call her bluff. Maybe she doesn't even like doing it at all.

This is what I'm saying.

Even jisting. Maybe it is. Here. This is what. This is how you can call her bluff. All right.

What?

Get a flavored condom and see if she'll do it with the flavor condom.

Well, there are flavored condoms, and I was gonna talk about flavored lube. Right. Flavored lube is a great idea. So if it is. Okay, Joe, lubricants I love. You need to check out their line. If you go to the shop, go to sex. Com. We've got a shop site, but they've got lube. Listen to their lubes. All right? Hazelnut espresso, mint chocolate salted caramel. I mean, they've got these amazing flavors. So if she doesn't like the taste. And here's the other thing. One of my top tips for blowjobs is they're never like, you got to make it wet. She puts a little around her lips, and then she goes down you, and it's, like, slippery, and you taste like mint chocolate sundae. She's psyched. So she could put a mint in her mouth also right here. I have. I use this every single show. Doc Johnson's Goodhead blowjob spray. I use it for the show because, like, that. I just sprayed it. I'm addicted to it. Because what it does is it makes your whole mouth taste like strawberries, and it lubricates your mouth. So she has a natural lubrication, and she just sprays this. And I do it for the show, so I'm not like. So I have enough lubrication to talk. So she could try some of that also. I mean, dude, would you complain? Would you really complain and feel bad, Floyd, if maybe she just wanted to give you, like, a really good hand job with Luba, maybe she just focused on the tip. Just the tip. So there's other things she can do if she's really into this relationship. Sex is about compromise. It really is. Couples have to figure out where they can, like, you know, give and take. And if she'd still be willing to work with your penis with her hands and a little bit of mouth, a little bit of lube, you might have a solution. But if she's like, nope, I'll never do it, then you need to decide if this is something you can live with. But have a kind, open conversation with her where you're not making her feel bad and you're not attacking her, but it's open.

Do the condom test and then go to the loop.

She could. That's true, though. No menace. That's not a bad idea. You. She could use a condom with lube over it or a flavored condom, and then she doesn't have taste semen. So that's another thing I'm saying, gradually.

Go to it if she, you know, is afraid of doing it. That's all.

Yeah, okay. Like the idea. Nice. Shedding wisdoms.

Where are all these lubes at?

Oh, my God. They're over there. Do you want we taste them on ice cream? Joe on ice cream? At the sex conference I went to a few weeks ago, they were giving out ice cream and they were pouring these flavors on, and literally I poured it in my mouth. It's so good. Do you want some before we go?

I would like to look at it.

Okay.

I would like to read the bottle.

Hold on, let me get. Well, Madison, can you grab the bottle?

Let's peep game.

Next one. Dear Emily, by the age of 30, I have extremely little sexual experience because of my shyness and negative body image. And I've never been in a serious relationship. I'm sure most high school students are more experienced than me. Now I'm finally looking for a relationship and hope it's not too late. But I'm afraid that my negligible experience can be a deal breaker. What would be the best strategy? To honestly speak to my prospective partner or to act naturally without saying much about my sexual past? Best wishes, Julia, age 30 in Hungary.

Hungry.

Julia. What's up?

Hungry.

What up?

Speaking of which, I'm gonna be in Germany, and I'm gonna be in Amsterdam in October. Speaking of Hungary, where we're talking about being Europe, Eastern Europe. So let's all pay attention to when I'm gonna be there. Soon. I'll let you know. Okay? Julia.

Brownies.

Julia. Julia, Julia. Listen, I am so glad that you've gotten to the point where you feel like you want a partner now and you're ready to put yourself out there. Sounds like in the past, like you said, you had some bodies, some insecurities. And, you know, we've all got insecurities when it comes to sex. We all have anxieties. Like, that's what this show. If you guys didn't have anxieties, insecurities, like, I wouldn't have a job here. But we all go into new sexual experiences all the time, worried, concerned what our partner's gonna think. Am I not gonna be good enough? I'm not gonna perform. Is my penis gonna fall off? You know, will I perform? Well, he know it that I. It's my first time. You are not alone in this. We all suffer from inexperience, like menace. You probably do all the time.

All the time, right? It's my whole life.

You're like, is that a vagina?

I've never seen one of those before.

Exactly. You're scary, right? You're like, belly buttons are your nipples. You don't know. You get confused. I'll give you, like, a little map, but I get it. So the best strategy.

What do I do with this?

What do I do with this? Kittaries.

I need to put my scuba gear on.

Right?

Whatever works for you. But here's the deal. Julia hungry?

I know. That's really cool.

So I think the best strategy, sweetie, is I wouldn't say you gotta, like, go on a date with someone. Be like, and I don't have a lot of experience. No, wait until you're with someone, you've dated him a few times and you know that you're feeling safe with them. Because again, I think that safety, you know, is. Is a really important thing for women and men. Like in sex, when we're feeling like, an experience or especially if you're like, for anything we want. Well, mostly women want to feel safe and secure in a relationship when they. All the time. But also, if you do have a lot of experience, so make sure it's someone that you trust and you have a real connection with. It's authentic, not just some dude you meet out.

Let it happen naturally. And, and, and when you're with them, if you start hooking up and you start feeling like, God, I'm worried, you know, then you could say, you know what? Let's take it a. I haven't been with anyone in a while. You can say that. But you just might surprise yourself and you might start hooking up and be like, oh, I know this. I can kind of get into this, and it might just sort of naturally happen. You might not be as out of touch with this whole experience as you think. So I would say, you know, you can also just go with the flow, but see what happens in the moment. But you don't lead with this. You don't put on your dating profile. You don't tell them on the first date. What do you think? Madness. If a girl didn't have a ton of experience. How would you like to learn that information?

Well.

It'S not a big deal. Thank you.

To be honest, it's not a big deal.

You don't have a ton of experience. Cool. Let's figure out things together.

Nice. Menace.

Easy.

God. Dr. Menace. That's so good. You're right. Figure it out together. Like, I think that we all trip on this stuff that doesn't necessarily can be concerned. Be A concern to our partner. In the meantime, though, I just. I cannot. I cannot encourage you enough. I cannot reinforce this enough that the more that you get to know your body right now, you masturbate, you make yourself, you know, feel good, spend that time. The more it will. You'll feel better in bed, It'll improve your sexual confidence, and the whole experience will go a lot smoother when you know your own body. Because I can tell you this, no matter how many women the guy that you're with have slept with, your body is a. Is a whole new wonderland for him.

Oh, wow. John Mayer Shout out. Right there.

Yeah, it's true. Your body is like. Every woman's body is different. So he literally has no idea what to do with your body.

John Mayer slay.

No, I know. I would. I'd bang him.

I've met him. He's very nice.

He looks like someone that I would bang, probably.

He's not a douchebag. So maybe you won't bang him because you're really into.

Wait. Madness. Do you know that I've never date douchebags?

Says you.

If anything, John Mayer is douchebag. Isn't he?

No, he's not. He's super cool. He's super nice.

Because he was nice to you and you didn't dump and he didn't dump you.

Okay.

The guys I date are douchey. Ish. In character. You think? But they're not mean to me. They're not like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, they just.

You just think they seem douchey. Yeah, but you think everyone's sushi. No, you generally don't like most people.

No, I found a. I found a good guy for you on Tinder. I didn't think he was douchey.

Which one? I don't know. I have to go. Look, so the more that you just. You know what? There's.

I don't know, people that you hang out.

You don't know any of my friends.

Yeah, I do. Some are cool. You like. What's her name? Anna. She's super cool. Yeah, I like her. She's not douchey.

She's like my. I know. I love Anna.

And.

Kevin who works in the office. He's cool.

Who's Kevin?

Is it Kevin?

There's no boys here. Except for our.

Okay, my bad. I'm high right now. My bad.

Okay. Are you.

Oh, okay. You know who I'm talking about. Never mind.

Kevin.

Nevermind. Ken.

Ken.

I don't know why I said Kevin. I'm on. How could you not Put that together. Kevin. Ken. Jesus Christ.

Did you know he's talking about. I had no idea. Who? No idea. So not close. Ken.

How's that? Kevin and Ken. It's not like it was like.

He's not in the office.

Jacob and Ken. I know, but he. He was cool when I met him.

He's so cool. We love Ken.

The douche meter didn't go off.

That's awesome. I'd love to. The douche meter. Because your douche meter starts at 10 and it's got to go down. So you think most people are douchey?

No, no. Just the dudes you hang out with. A lot of them.

You never met them.

Crazy.

So one more thing I got to say to you here, Julia, is that there's lots of blogs on the website about how to masturbate if you haven't done it before and, like, how to make it the best experience for you. So that's my advice to you, sweetie. And don't be so hard on yourself. I'm glad you're putting yourself out there. And I think you're gonna surprise yourself at how much you do know and how comfortable you are with sex. And if not, so what? It's a learning process.

Sorry, Ken. I'm running on no sleep.

He hasn't slept.

I know your name. Ken.

Okay.

I don't know why I said Kevin.

Ken has a thick skin. Skull. Thick skin.

Skull.

Thick skin. I'm tired, too. Okay, so. But this is exciting. We're moving to voicemails. This is our first voicemail. Thank you for calling.

Hi, I'm Courtney. I am in the Sacramento area, and I had a question about how to revive my sex life with my partner. We haven't had sex in over two and a half years for a number of reasons. My partner is more vanilla than me. I tend to be a bit more adventurous. I'm into kink and I'm bisexual. So not quite sure how to fix things. We really want to try to settle down and start to raise a family. But first, we want to figure out how to improve our intimacy. So if there's any books or anything you might suggest to try to do this on our own without getting a counselor, that would be great. Thank you so much. I appreciate your feedback.

Sweet.

I feel like Courtney is here with us in the room.

Yeah.

That was great. That was really personal. I love it.

Courtney.

In the house.

I love Sacramento. It's capital.

Raise up.

So, Courtney.

So weird that that's a capital in.

The middle of the. Courtney. Courtney. Okay, so thank you for calling you. This is a big moment here. First voicemail. Okay. Two and a half years. You said no sex. Let me just make sure. You said you've had zero sex and you want to build a life together and you're bisexual and you're kinky and he's not and he's vanilla. So we're already starting from a challenging place. Okay. But it sounds like you really love him and you want to be with them. And so I would suggest, and you don't want to see a counselor, that you guys have some work to do. But this is some fun work you already know. The good news is you know what turns you on. And I'm not sure if he's just not into being, you know, bondage, because he's never tried it or domination or kinky or stuff. So I think that there needs to be some educating here and I think that some real conversations about what turned you both on. And the book I would recommend is Making Love the Intelligent Couple's Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion. It's by Danielle Harrell and Celeste Hirschman. You can buy it on Amazon. It's called Making Love Real by Danielle Harrell and Celeste Hirschman. And it's part of the somatica work that I'm doing, the courses I'm taking in San Francisco. And really when I read this book and what I'm going through, I feel like it helps couples connect with what they truly want on an intimate, on a sexual level, like your erotic energy, like what turned you on, what turns him on. He might kind of intellectually understand that you're into kink, but not know how to. How to do it. And you understand. Think he's vanilla, but maybe he's not as vanilla as he thinks. So if you guys can go through this book, there's exercises that you can do as a couple. I think this could save your relationship or at least let you figure out if this is really the guy that you should be marrying and spending the rest of your life with. So that's my advice.

Love it.

Love it.

I'm still thinking about Sacramento. They have a really good sushi place there. I forget the name of it.

They have sushi in Sacramento now.

Oh, yes. So good. At the mall.

Okay, you lost me with sushi at the mall.

No, no, no. It's a high end restaurant. It just happens to be at the mall.

Oh, sushi in the mall.

You don't know. You don't know. I don't knock until you try it.

I don't have time. I'm not going to Sacramento for anything. And not for sushi. No, I like Sacramento. I used to work in politics. Dude, I was there all the time.

Yeah.

Yep, it's true. Okay, should we get. We have one more voicemail. Yes, for today. I'm just testing this, you guys. I want to freak you out. Voicemails, but I think it's kind of fun. What do you think of that?

I loved it. It was great.

I loved it. Like, I love hearing from listeners. Just like I say when I see you out on the street and you come say hi, like, makes my friggin life.

Now. If you want to leave your own voicemail, go to sexwithemily.com and click on Ask Emily.

I'll give you the number again. I'll give you the number again just in case. And that is 818-275-7931. That's 818-275-7931.

And if you're driving, you can't write it down. Once again, the Sex with Emily website. Ask Emily. It's right there.

Okay.

Okay, let's check this out. What do we got?

Check it.

Hi, Emily, My name is brandon. I'm age 37. I live in Wichita Falls, Texas. I have a question regarding your most recent episode about surviving a breakup. I just happened to work with the person that I broke up with most recently. And I was wondering if you have any advice for dealing with a situation where you see each other on a daily basis. Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you so much for calling. That is such a great question for men because he banged everyone in his office in San Francisco. Literally everyone. Is that true or not true?

True. But I, I don't know.

Like, it wasn't really a relationship. So he broke up a little. I don't know how. Like Manus just banged him once.

No, no, I've definitely. I, I had like long term girlfriends that I worked with and then we broke up and we continued to have to work with each other. I don't know. It depends, I guess how bad the breakup was. I never really had. Well, I kind of maybe did have a bad one. But it's just like when you're at work, you just like. And you're just work focused. You don't even. Don't even. I know you used to have a relationship with this person. You see them all the time. But when you're at work, you pretend that never even happened.

Guys are so good at that. You just turn it off. You're like, you are the secretary. You are the production assistant. I am the. Yeah. I mean, you could. But here's the thing.

It's like, that's how you have to. I mean, how else would you.

Yeah, you gotta, like. And here's the thing. I know that you're gonna want to really try to, like, you know, you might. I'm sure you still have feelings for. It sounds like, you know, you're actually. The fact that you're calling and asking leads me to believe that it was probably, you know, an intense relationship and you were together a while and you're having emotions about it, and you got to see her every day. And I'm. My heart goes out, too, because I know when I break up with someone, it's hard. Like, I just. You need distance. Like, I typically tell people you need to, like, six months, three months, you don't see them. And so you got to see her every single day.

Yeah.

And so I would just say, you know, do your best to. I don't know how big your office is, but just to. If you know that she always goes to lunch at this place to avoid, you know, going into that place. And I would just say that like. Like Mena said, if you can just, like, keep your head down and, like, make other groups of friends and don't go to the happy hour for a few weeks, I know they're your friends too, with the work happy hour, but things you can do to distance yourself and also I would say start to, like, you know, make. Maybe there's stuff after work. You can start planning things that you look forward to, like taking a class or going to the gym, and start, like, rearranging your schedule a bit. The other thing I would just warn against is talking about her and talking about your situation. You don't want to create drama in the office.

Yeah. And even if people ask you about it, say, oh, we're cool.

Yeah. Because you can't trust anybody where everyone talks about everybody and you don't want to triangulate, meaning you're going to start tile everyone's going to talk about each other. You don't want to bring your drama because this is your job. I mean, obviously it'd be great if you could quit and get a new job. That would be maybe easier. But I'm not going to suggest that because you have a job I'm sure you really like and you can get through this. You can. And right now it's probably really hard because, gosh, I get. I would not want to be in that situation, but Just, just, you gotta, like, use some self control here because I know part of you might want to see her and check it out and see how she's doing and rekindle and it'll be easier to like have a late night hookup. But just don't, do not cross that barrier. And eventually it will get easier and you'll just see her as that girl who works in the office.

Act like you never even dated.

Yeah, don't be mean to her and don't talk badly about her, but just keep moving on your life and then maybe don't fish off the company pier in the future. But I don't warn against it because I feel like I get why people do date people they work with because we spend so much time in the office. But yeah, I just wish you luck. And again, just take care of yourself and be strong and keep just your wits about you.

Godspeed.

Godspeed. Yo. That was fun. I feel like.

Oh, you love the voicemails.

I really do. I feel like I understand. And we connected.

Yeah, that's great.

Helped. Yeah. And you guys. Yeah, your age also helps. People did that. I don't know how much time we give them, but a little more information is fine. But not too much. Like we say, like, leave it to a minute, but like a minute or two is fine. Yeah, right? That was good. What else? Time to wrap up this party.

Wrap it up. But it's great again, if you want to leave a voicemail, you don't have to leave. You don't have to say your real name or your real city or whatever. But definitely give your age. Go to sex with emily.com. click on Ask Emily. I'll have the phone right there for you if you need it.

So true.

And you can still go old school, send some emails or whatever. And there's always Emily stepping up her hot pics for some reason on Instagram.

Yeah, she's trying to.

She's going out there fishing for something hot.

That's why.

Okay. Instagram.com sex with Emily. Also, the Snapchat is super fun. There's sex toys and all kinds of craziness that's happening in the office. You know Emily, she works in office with the all women. So they're. They're getting dirty in here, so make sure.

Yeah, we're having an orgy right now. We're gonna snap it, so you better calm.

And I'm super exc. Excited for you to be in Brooklyn coming up.

I know. September 24th and 25th, I'll be in Brooklyn. In October, I'm going to be in Germany and the UK and traveling all around there. So I can't wait to see all my listeners. And is there anything else? I think that's what we got for you today. Aw, love you Menace. How about you Menace? Find you Menace. The Woody Show Podcast live.

Yeah, the Woody show podcast. Monday through Friday we post. It's about pop culture and news, what's going on in the world. You can download it on iTunes and SoundCloud and all that. So download the Woody Show.

Do that. Okay. Thanks Manus. Love you. Thank you producer Madison. And thank you Lori and Jamie and Ken. Or Kevin. Hire Kevin and Seymour, our intern. Yeah, Maurice. Sorry, I always come Seymour, but see.

You messed up on the name. Don't give me crap.

Where did I get Seymour from?

Okay, how did you guys not know that I was talking about Ken when I said Kevin? It's not a far from fetched. It's not like it was Jacob and Ken.

We both didn't know. And Maurice the intern didn't know. Okay everyone, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

It's almost that time again. The Sexual Health Experiment Expo is back. And this time it's taking place in one of my favorite cities on earth. New York City. I'm so honored to once again be hosting this one of a kind event. Like, seriously, what other event brings today's top sex educators and the hottest pleasure products together under one roof? Exactly. It's the only one. The Sexual Health Expo will be taking over Brooklyn September 24th and 25th, and for the first time ever, you can attend for free thanks to our good friends at We Vibe. The first 2,000 people to register will be given free admission to the two day event. Sexual Ed sponsor the Pleasure Chest has planned out a weekend's worth of seminars on today's most relevant wellness topics, all delivered by an array of sex experts I know and admire. Not only will you be expanding your sexual horizons, you'll also be able to see brand new products from Jimmy Jane, Doc Johnson, Joe Lubricants, Fleshlight Lifestyles and Skin Condoms. See youe in Bed, Hot Flowers usa I Am Toy Caution Wear Condoms, Kama Sutra, Babeland Pure, the Pleasure Chest, High Pleasures, Unbound Box, UV and more. You can learn more about the sponsors on my website. Just click on the she banner for all kinds of information. And a lot of you asked me to let you know when I'll be on the east coast, so mark your calendars for September 24th and 25th and get ready to come visit me in Brooklyn. Whether you walk, run, drive, fly, swim or Uber, you're in for two days of sex, positive education and fun. Just reserve your free tickets. Visit sexualhealthexpo.com today. And remember, the free tickets are limited to the first 2000 reservations, so don't wait. These will disappear quickly. I'll see you there.

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