Ready, Set, Oral

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels good. Feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

Hey, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts. Sign up for the mailing list, which you absolutely should do, because they send you really good emails. But they're not annoying, they're actually informative. And follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. If you want sex tips all day, every day, that's what you should do. And I love you all. Thank you for listening and checking out the show. And I'm here with menace today.

Hello, Emily. How are you doing today?

I'm great. How are you?

I'm amazing, as always.

You always are amazing. It's so good.

I'm always tired when I'm here.

I'm sorry, dude, when are you ever not tired? Like, tell me one time a day that I'm gonna see you and you're like, I'm. I'm bright eyed.

We should do a podcast at 4am and I would just, like, kill it.

Really? Is that really when you.

I'll come.

You're already on the radio then.

Not at 4am I'm getting ready to be on the radio.

Oh, you're gonna have time. I would do it. Don't challenge me.

That'd be.

Maybe that's when that's even. That's my sweet spot, too.

Yeah, the 4am yeah.

Who knows?

I can do it.

I know I could probably do it. Although I have a hard time getting up.

So how you been? What's going on? What's the dating life like?

My dating life is diverse and interesting. Oh my God. So I went to a Lakers game a few weeks ago and I ran into two guys that. Which is random because I've been dating in LA here and there. Two guys that I've dated since I've been here that I, I didn't. That I liked. But I didn't really see it going anywhere. And I probably. I got back to them and I wasn't that clear. Maybe. I think I only went out with one of them a few times and the one just once. And then I hadn't really followed up. Let's just say I probably didn't handle it in the most professional way. And I happened to run into both of them. Boom, boom, back to back.

What?

They're like, hey, that sucks. I know. They were like, boom. And it was funny because we went with us. Like, what, do you date everyone in la? I'm like, no, just everyone who's at the goddamn Lakers game. So that was embarrassing. But I think I redeemed myself. Cause then one of them texted me, hey, when we going on our second date? So apparently the things that I worry about, like these people hated me. Cause I didn't get back. I just said, no, I'm not interested. I had said that, but then I ran into them and then they circled it back again. But as far as dating, I've, you know, I've met some interesting people. There's a guy I've been seeing and sleeping with on and off. That is. Actually, we're in a really good place because I don't have a lot of time to see him. But when we do see each other, we have really good sex. And I actually introduced him to sex toys recently and he never used one. So I feel like it's like a gateway. Like he's like, oh, I'm not into it. I'm not into it. And I was like, well, I've got to try out like this new toy. And, and, and we did. And he was totally down.

Next thing you know, he's duct taped with a snorkel in his mouth.

Exactly that. Goggles. That's what we're working towards. But like, I think it's hot. Like, you know, I don't know. You'd never seen like the insertion vibe. So I use like one of those like rabbits, like the Vibratex rabbit. And, and he was into that. Do some clitoral stuff. He used a penis ring. It was a good time.

Amazing.

But thanks, honey, but I am, you know, I'm. I think I gotta branch out because I've kind of had the same rotation for a little while and so, you know, I'm getting fixed up. Things are going on good. One day I'll have a really great friggin like getting married.

Oh man, that would be crazy. That'd be like the most downloaded podcast here.

I can't do it.

Emily's getting married podcast.

Dude, I don't even want to get married. You know, what a nightmare it seems to like, who's coming to the wedding? Where's everyone gonna sit? Like, what are you gonna. Like the invitations and the planning. Like, I can't handle that.

And then just the financial, the way how much it costs and all that kind of stuff. It's crazy.

But your wedding will be a good time.

Oh yeah, definitely. It would be if I. If I have a wedding.

But she's not pressuring you. The girlfriend of 10 years that I've never met except for once.

We love having fun, just going, spending our money on travel and stuff like that.

That's good. That's a good time.

We're on the same page.

I've met. We are on the same page. We never used to be on the. Oh, you guys are on the same page. Yeah, but you and I are kind of on the same page now that you're not really looking to have the traditional get married and you're not. You're not sure about kids.

Yeah. I mean, again, I think it all. It all goes. Bottom line, everything goes down to money. It's sad to say, even though it's supposed to be about love and relationships, it all comes down to money. It does your kids.

But if you have like, if you want to have kids, like, you find a way to work it out, you know, you. Love conquers all. I get drive you to make more money. I think, you know, that's what I.

Think it probably would.

So. Yeah. Well, what else is going on with you?

Nothing much. I actually, a couple weeks ago I ran into. You're gonna probably have her on the show recently. Brandi?

Brandi Glanville?

Yeah, from Real Housewives. She was at the show that I was at, the Foo Fighter show in Los Angeles. I don't know if anybody read up on it. It was amazing. It had like 10 special guests that just came out and performed. But it was a really really rainy night. I would share something with you because I think that you would think this was funny.

Okay.

I was so upset because my girlfriend, you know, came out with me to this show and it was raining, and I got her, like, a birthday gift a long time ago, and it's All Saints jacket. Now, All Saints jackets are not cheap. Like $700. And I was pissed the entire time. Like, why are you wearing this? Yeah, it's leather. I'm like, why are you wearing this jacket in the rain?

Did she put any proofing you're supposed to, like, like, leather proof it?

No, I don't think so.

Dude, that's bad. She know it was raining, huh? You knew it was raining? It was raining.

Yeah, but I didn't realize, like, how much in the rain that we would be.

Did you feel like she didn't appreciate your get your five?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Dude, that would piss me off. You got to be careful with that stuff. Yeah. Nice gift, though.

I know. I'm always the best gift.

You are. Like, I hear these guys. Like, I was dating this guy that I'm never the one who's like, oh, don't worry. Don't get me anything, because I really. He's like, yeah. I was dating this girl in the first week. She asked me for, like, flats. Like, when flat screen TVs. Or. He's like, she asked me for a flat screen tv. I'm like, did you buy one? He goes, yeah. And I'm like, I should cash in on these guys, too. I should be like, oh, yeah, I'm looking for this.

I want an Armes.

Yeah. You know, exactly like, I'm feeling like maybe I should just go on more shopping dates with these guys.

No, I mean, you don't want to come off like that.

But if they offer, I can buy my own goddamn shit if they offer.

Just. I mean, don't turn down.

Yeah, but then you feel beholden to them and all that. All that stuff. How about Valentine's Day? You guys can do anything. It's coming up. I know in the real world, you're all like, what? But it really is just a few weeks away.

Yeah. I don't know.

In the real world meaning. Not the sex with Emily world. Yeah.

Well, it just sucks because, you know, October is my birthday, and then. Then you have, you know, December, which is all a bunch of gift giving, too. And then her birthday's in January.

Yeah, but Valentine's Day is a whole different thing, honey.

Yeah, but it's like, when does it ever End.

It never ends.

You can't not do anything these months where it's just like this endless spending on this crap.

Just give you some toys, I'll give you some, like, fun. I think that she. Let me tell you something. So this guy that I was with, I didn't. I just kind of glazed over it. But he's been a friend of mine, and we sleep together sometimes. And he said to me, you know, I've never used a toy. I don't know if you feel about that. So, of course, you know, I have all these ones test. And he was kind of like, wow, that's really hot. That's really cool. Like, I like it. Like, he liked the way it felt on him too. And he kind of had. It was on anti toys as well. So I'm just saying, if you would like me to put together a little care package for Valentine's Day for you, I would be happy to do that, just as your friend. Okay.

Yeah, why not?

Why not try something different? You guys have been together two years. I'm sure it's already really stale right now, your sex life.

Oh, yeah, totally, Totally stale. The most.

Not stale, but, you know, stagnant. This is what happens. It's biology. We're supposed to. It's really good from six months to about 16 months. And that's the range of the lust phase. And then, you know, the dopamine, all the chemicals in your brain, you settle in, and then you're like. And then you gotta continue to work on your sex life. So I'm just. I'm just putting it out there.

All right?

Speaking of sex toys, though, I do have a sex in the news story that is relevant. Okay. A man nearly burns down his home while trying to clean sex toys.

I heard about this.

I'm surprised I haven't done that yet. A husband with very good intentions nearly set fire to his home when he tried to clean he and his wife's collection of dildos. After getting into an argument with his wife, the man figured out he'd dig his way out of the doghouse by tending to their neglected silicone dildos. Wanting to be thorough, I brought these downstairs, set them in a small pot of water to boil, and headed upstairs for a moment to call my dad and wish him well. Quick convo with my dad turns into an involved talk with my mom and dad. About 15, 20 minutes later, suddenly, my smoke alarm is loudly going off, having completely forgotten about the dildo boil. Sounds like an event or something. Come to the dildo boy. I Casually crab feed. Exactly. I casually get up, prepare to disarm the false alarm taking place in my house until a huge weft of black inky smoke winds its way around the bedroom door. I immediately think, what in the ever living hell is burning? And at the same time hear my wife scream, what the F. And I rush downstairs into kitchen, billowing, disgusting black smoke, see a massive pillar of flame exploding upwards out of the tiny pot which has now been boiling dry for few minutes. Wife is panicky, fire distinguisher, the whole thing. And you know, there's a blast, there's a noxious dildo blaze with the entire contents of the signature. So basically, in the future, if you want to do your wife a favor, don't do her any favors.

Aren't you supposed to put it in the washing?

Well, it depends. I mean, there's silicone. You could just use some light soap and a little thing. You don't have to. I mean, that's their glass dildos, like.

The dishwasher or something.

You can put some in the dishwasher. But I don't know. I mean, I have this problem too, which is why I don't cook. Is every time I goddamn try to or boil something, I forget. And then my house goes up, my alarm goes off. But it's a nice gesture. But it's funny that of all the things he's trying to do to get out of the doghouse, he's like, I know, I'll wash our sex toys. Probably just send her some roses next time or something. That would probably work.

Well, did you see in the news.

That huge divorce that's going on between an oil CEO and his wife? He tried to cut her a check for 900 and like $87 million. And she said no.

Why'd you say no?

She said because she wanted more. She thinks she deserves more.

More like a billion. Like, why cut her short of a billion? Yeah, what happened? Was he like, is he. Because she could also lose it at that point. I know, they could be like, you get, you know.

Yeah, you only get, you know, 400 million.

Well, he might be worth 10 billion. So she's like, yeah, I think he.

Is worth about 10 billion.

Well, you know what, it's interesting. If he is worth 10 billion, she, you know, deserves half. Not deserves at all.

Does she deserves half? Okay, she run the oil company.

It doesn't matter if she were. Do they have kids? Do they have a family? The law says that you get half in many states, so I can understand that. While to many that seems Like, a lot. I'm not saying, like, I can just imagine why a lot of people are growing.

I just could imagine you being a billionaire and some guy's like, well, you know what? I deserve half of the sex with Emily empire. You would, dude. My prenup would be so you lose your effing mind. So, please, that she deserves half.

My prenup would be such a strong glad. Well, let's say prenup.

Let's say you got married, and let's say you got really high one day or drunk, and you decided to get married.

And I'm going to Vegas. Yeah.

And you got married without a prenup. And then they're like, well, you got to give half up. You got to give half of your money. Even though this person didn't, you know, stick with you for the past. Whatever, 10 years. 10 years of doing this, but suddenly we want prenup.

I wouldn't do that.

See, I get it.

No, I get it. I get it. I get it.

I'm not saying when the tables are turned.

It's not when the tables are turned. I'm sure they've probably been together 30 years. I mean, how old is this, like, oil tycoon and they've got billions. I'm just saying, you know, it's tricky.

You're saying, like, how much do you need to.

You're so in love. Everything's great. We're getting married. We're just going to plan it. We're going to get the dress up, be amazing, and then cut to, you know, 25 years later, you're miserable, you don't have sex and don't give her any money.

So. So I.

The lesson is.

So I started researching. Yeah, I started researching this about, like, big payouts. I'm like, that has to be, like, one of the most expensive divorces ever, you know? No, not even close, really. So there's this woman that. Her face is online all the time. You can't go online without seeing her face, but you might not know who she is. So she's had a lot of plastic.

Surgery, and she's, like, known for looking. Really?

Yeah. She looks like a lion or a cat. Well, come to find out, she is the number one most paid out wife in divorce history of $2.5 billion. And on top of her $2.5 billion in her divorce element, she gets $100 million each year for 13 years.

Oh, my God.

This happened in 1997.

Wow. And then ever since then, she's just been at the doctor like, Puffing up her face and getting cut up.

Yeah.

Can't you think of such better thing? Couldn't she, like, start like a, you know, a school for girls or something in Africa or do something like that?

Something crazy?

I mean, do something for the world, really?

Yeah.

That much money. I don't. That. That messes.

So do you remember, okay, Rupert Murdoch, Right. So he got remarried, I think it was.

I remember this, like, 15. Just.

Just recently, not too long ago. Oh, and he got divorced in 2013. He gave his.

His.

His wife $1.8 billion, and they're barely married. But you know what? I. I think that she gets a little bit. She deserves a little bit of that money because he was up doing a speech one time at some, I don't.

Know, TED Talk or something.

Some like. I don't know if it was a hearing or something, but somebody came up and just started attacking him. Attacking, like punching him. Right. And with like, at a drop of hat, she went running and started being the crap out of the person that was attacking.

She did. Yeah. Little wife.

Yeah. So she's down for a man, right?

I didn't know they got divorced.

Yeah, they got divorced. They were so happy in 2013. But his. His first wife before that, he gave her $1.7 billion.

So the money machine.

So $3 billion he's already paid out.

Yeah, but he, like, prints money. He's like, that's nothing. That's pocket change.

Rupert Murdoch. It's crazy, right? So if you just go on Google and check out these high.

So what's our point here? What's our lesson here? Prenup? Nope. Someone. You spend a life together and, you know, you help they. You know what, they helped him build his career, supported him, you know, then. Then they're just. They deserving of some money and like, wow. The whole thing that goes on is like, you know, we. I'm accustomed to some certain lifestyle that we've had, and you have to keep me up to this. These conditions in which we've. I've grown accustomed.

It's just crazy.

Okay. So anyway, I have a penis story as well.

Oh, okay.

Which I know is really going to be popular.

Way more interesting because people love billionaires.

Whatever the money stuff. I just wish I was married and divorced by now because then I'd be like, your brother.

Wish you were married and divorced by now. Right.

I know. He just wanted me to marry someone he. I should have married and divorced by now. He's like, I can't believe he didn't marry that guy, he's got a billion dollars now. Thanks, bro. Okay, if your penis is smaller than a pop star's leg, well, then condoms will fit you. So men have invented a number of clever excuses for why they won't wear condoms. Latex, allergies, lessen sensations, inability to maintain erection, and always the popular they just don't fit me. Yeah, haven't you heard all these? They're like, oh, I can't do it, my penis is too big. You can't really feel anything. Okay, well, 17 year old Swedish pop star singer Zara Larsson has a message for men who tried to weasel the way out of safe sex by claiming condoms just don't fit them. Take a seat. Larson Instagrammed a photo of a condom stretched all the way over her leg like a knee sock just to prove that the whole but I'm just too big for them argument your high school boyfriend tried to deploy was total bs. So assuming whatever you're working with is smaller than a woman's leg, and sorry dudes, it is, you should be just fine. Were you ever one of those guys?

No, never.

Okay. Because this is. And I feel like that, that it is. The condoms have come a long way. I remember like you used to have to go into the drugstore guy to unlock it or remember like 711 behind the counter and they were like thicker and latex. But now there's like, people don't realize this, like, hello, new world of condoms. They make condoms now that are like next to wearing nothing skin S K Y N condoms. They're amazing. These condoms, they're non latex, they're poly isoprene, they're super, super thin. And honestly, they do feel like you are wearing nothing. I've been testing out like a bunch of different condoms. I've been just getting different partners on Craigslist as a research study and I'm obsessed with them. And skin is great ones. Lifestyles make some great ones. And so they're not like too big. They don't. People just think maybe condoms used to be more uncomfortable. But anyway, I think this is a good message.

That is very good.

Because I feel like people just don't wear condoms enough. And people, you can get diseases. And this is what I hear all the time from people who are very smart and educated and Ollie just. Well, I've known her forever, so we can. Okay, so you guys have known each other since high school. She would never lie to you about having a sexually transmitted disease or anything like that. She's probably. Yeah. Since you Grew up in the same town. I mean, there's no way that anyone in your town could have herpes or could have any kind of transmitted diseases.

Nothing.

So don't listen to that people. I mean, that's just. People say these things. Or I didn't have one. Or in the heat of the moment, you're really drunk and you're like, whatever. I'm just, you know, this is your public service announcements. Use a goddamn condom.

Just get some fellatio. If we can just get some.

Yeah, get some cunnilinga instead as well.

Have a condom.

Seriously. If you don't have a condom. But I get it. In that moment, you're like, I want to just do it. But don't. Okay. Because then you live a lifelong.

You have a life filled with bumps and things.

Yeah.

And your pain sticks.

Did you bump your head just now?

I did. Okay, now we're going to get your emails. So I love hearing from everyone. And thank you so much for emailing me@feedbackexwithemily.com Dear Emily, I recently started dating again and gave my first blow job in over a year. I'm not mentally ready to sleep with a guy yet, but since I enjoy oral sex, I told him I wouldn't mind giving him a head whenever he wanted it. Do you think I should just get over myself and do it? He and I have both expressed interest sleeping together. Or can I keep up my oral game until I just want to have sex already? Please help, Veronica. Well, Veronica, there's a few things here that concern me. First of all, what about your pleasure? You're saying, I'm just. This is the problem, I think, with women today. They think, well, I'm just going to do it for him. You're going to give him blowjobs? You'd give him blowjobs? What about him giving you pleasure? So that's one thing I'm not thinking. I like that you know yourself well enough to know that you're not ready to have sex yet after you are in a relationship. And there's nothing wrong with this foreplay. And you give him blowjob and he performs oral sex on you, or you, you know, do a bunch of other fun things. So that's one thing. So don't just be doing, like, I'm gonna give the, you know, the stand. I'm just gonna, like, give him a blowjob to, like, so he'll, like, stave off having sex. But I think that you need to go at the speed that you're comfortable with and don't rush into it if you don't want to, but build it slowly, so don't. I hope he's not pressuring you. It sounds like he's not. And sex is a sprint. It is not a marathon. There's a lot you could learn. In fact, I wish that more couples would stave off sex for a while and spend time learning each other's bodies. You know, it's a great thing to do, too. Veronica, is mutual masturbation. One night, you can just sit there, you masturbate. He masturbates. It's really hot. You see what he likes, he sees what you like. And there's a bunch of other things you can do besides having sex, so don't pressure yourself into it.

Yeah. And also like doing the setup where you're just giving oral until you have sex. Like, that's bad.

That is bad. And I actually. I actually talked to a guy friend recently. He's like, it's so weird, Emily. He's like, I was dating this girl, and all she wanted was to give me blowjobs. Like, we'd meet up, and she never wanted to have sex. And she said she got turned on by it. And I get it. I'm not saying that it's not hot. Like, I don't get turned on by giving a blowjob, because I do. I really like it's hot, but if that's the only thing you're doing, you know? But it's funny because he was like, is that it? Is that it? And I think, yeah, you can get. But if that's. She wouldn't even let him touch her. So I wonder sometimes if women are still in this. Like, I want to do it. What? It was a guy now. But if women are still in this mode of, like, I want to please a man, I want to feel desired, I want to look really hot doing it. And so he'll like me if I give up sex. And so I just think that. That women that need to start taking responsibility for their own pleasure, their own orgasms, and have a grand old time as well, just like he is.

Yeah. Oh, speaking about guys, did you hear about this thing with Michael Phelps on how he was dating, supposedly dating a tranny?

Yes, I did. So what's the deal with that?

I don't know what's going on, because he hasn't really said anything, so. Which scares me to think that it was actually. It was actually true. Not that it's a bad thing, but that he was actually sleeping with a man. And not knowing it, you know, Which I don't think is, how could you.

Sleep with the man Meaningless. He is.

Yeah, no. Had like full surgery and everything. And now. And now this person who is a she, now she is going everywhere telling everybody about it. And now she's like doing a porn.

Dude, everyone does porn. Like, I don't care what you do. You could like, give the biggest check ever to some high school Olympics team, like, and all of a sudden you're like, I'm really famous. So now I'll do a porn. Yeah, porn is like, I. Wow, I could really be famous. Really? It's all Kim Kardashian's fault. Yeah, right?

It's crazy. Everyone's doing porn now.

I know. I'm glad that I'm not yet on a porn.

You're gonna go that way.

I have done a porn. Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah, you did.

Oh, my God. But I was not naked and I just saw it for the first time.

Are you serious?

Yeah. Dude, do you remember on my birthday I went to San Francisco and I shot. It was for Adam and Eve. It's called Marriage 2.0. And I play myself, I play sex educator giving advice to the couple who's thinking about opening up the relationship. And I just saw it at Expo. So I actually did do porn, but not no nudity. And it will be released soon. Yeah.

Did they get like a body double? Something that looked like you and then they just didn't do any face shots?

Dude, I was sitting there talking to my full on clothes. What do you mean? No, I didn't have nudity, but I did film a porn. So I'm wrong technically.

Okay, you finally made a porn.

I finally made a porn. Exactly. But no nude photos on me out there are on the Internet ever at this point. Really? Like, if I haven't done it by now, don't you think, like. No. Okay, we have to take a quick break from. Talk to our sponsors. Talk about our sponsors. Like Promescent, for example. Okay. Promescent is blowing up. Okay. Promescent. I've been talking about it for about a year now. It is the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. But not only that. Even if you're like, well, I last long enough in bed. There is an orgasm gap between men and women. Have you ever noticed that it takes your partner a little longer to orgasm than you?

Yeah, right.

The guys are like doing everything they can to hold it in.

Yeah. They're like, what can I. Right, right, Exactly. And you're like, Thinking of baseball and you're thinking of like your aunt with their furry mustache. Per messenger is the thing you can use that it has no side effects at all. You put it on five minutes before sex and it's a quick, quickly absorbing delay spray. And you just put on your penis. Doesn't transfer your partner helps you last twice as long as usually lasts. If you last 10 minutes, you last 20. If you last four, you last eight. There's thousands of urologists recommending Promescent, the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. So check out promescent. It's P R O M E S C E N T dot com. Check it, check it, enjoy it. Have some awesome sex.

You've been. Yeah. Been down with them for quite a while.

I know, but now I just got an email from the CEO. They're like, we are like there's a huge article coming about them because the whole. I won't get into the whole thing now but this doctor that invented it was like really like a urologist and he really cared about like helping men and he invented this thing in a bottle. And the guy, Jeff, the CEO was like his best friend. And Jeff's a businessman. So the CEO, the doctor was like what do you think about this project? And Jeff's like that's cool, I'll help you grow your business. He's like, I just want to help men. I see everyday men come in and they have penis issues. Long story short, terrible story. This doctor got, he was in the high. He was in his. He was in the hospital working and the guy came in and shot him down. Thought he was a mistaken identity. Thought he was someone else. Like a vet. A vet came in and thought he was a doctor that had done surgery. Yeah. And he could died. So the whole point of remesant too is that they're like trying to get enough money. Like you know also like this guy's wanting to carry on his legacy.

Yeah.

But also you know, help support the family and all that. But it's a great product too, man. Yeah, there's a whole friggin thing to it. Okay, next email.

So you're doing a good thing by buying.

I am doing a good thing. But yeah, you're doing a good thing by buying from us. And if you need it, I'm not saying like just do it. But it's actually a really good product. And the thing why it's blowing up is like, it's just crazy. The sales have like quadrupled since I started working for them. Because doctors are all getting on board now recommending it, like the. The urologist always recommend. But now there's like all these other whatever, hospitals all over the country getting on board. So I think it's really cool because, you know, men's got issues with their penises. They need to some help. Dear Emily, I work at a hardware store and I'm currently dating one of the main managers. From there, it was something unexpected. We have a month dating. I'm 25, he's 33. Do you think. Do you think we would be able to keep business and pleasure separate? Thanks, Jacqueline. Probably not. Probably not. Jacqueline. I'm gonna say that's a no.

Are you crazy? I mean, it's just crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's her boss, too. I mean, when you combine the two, like they're intertwined, you can't help but you see each other every day.

No, I think you're fine. I'm in. My current girlfriend, we met at work.

Right, but then. What, you fired her?

No, she ended up leaving.

I'm not saying can't work, but I don't think you can keep it separate. Like, if she. They break up, she might get fired. Like, it'll be tense when you see him in the office.

Yeah, you gotta be, you know, you gotta be really into it if you want it to work.

Yeah. I mean, and if you really love your job, you are putting it at risk. However, a lot of people date people they work with because that's the people we see every day. Happens all the time. You dated your assistant? I haven't dated anyone I work with in a while. But, you know, years ago, I used to.

All the time.

All the time. So I get it. But I don't think. I don't even know what you mean by separate, but I'm saying, yeah, you could go to work and not make it romantic at work and then take that on the weekends. You guys spend some lovely time together. I'm just saying there is a risk if you love your job and something happens and it goes wrong. And you also slept with people at work that you did not continue dating and you'd have to see them every day, right? Matt, didn't you sleep with, like, everyone in your office?

Everybody, years ago? Yeah. No, you got to make sure, like, you have a really cool relationship with anybody that you sleep with.

You know, make sure he's a good guy.

Just don't do it willy nilly. Like one night you're just. You just randomly hook up with, you know, your co. Worker.

Exactly.

Like make sure this would actually work.

Right? Exactly. I mean, I'm glad you're having fun. And also there is something about that attraction to someone you work with because you're seeing them in their element. And it's really sexy to see someone who like a man in charge and she's doing her job and there's some passion there. I mean, that's really what fuels a lot of attraction, is when you see someone kind of in their element in a powerful role.

Yeah.

So I get it. But don't be seduced by all that if you think it's gonna risk other things.

Dear Emily, new listener to your show and I'm totally hooked. I am two years out of my first serious relationship. Three and a half years in which I lost my virginity. In that time I've had a handful of other sex partners ranging from I can't believe what I've been missing out to. At least my friends will get a laugh out of this. But even during the most mind blowing sex, I've never had an orgasm and just always thought I was one of the girls who couldn't. You've helped me realize that all hope is not lost. And it's high time I start making my orgasm my responsibility. I've never really masturbated before, but I'm looking for a vibrator or two that's powerful and versatile. You mentioned so many on the show that I just can't decide where to start. Any suggestions? Thanks for all your sage words. My morning commute and sexual curiosity have become a hell of a lot more interesting since I started listening to sex with Emily. Samantha. Thanks Samantha. I'm so glad the show has inspired you. And you're so right. I talk about so many different toys on the show that it can be a little overwhelming. So let's figure this out. So first of all, I love. You're right. Women are responsible for their own orgasms. It is not your partner's responsibility. If you don't figure out your body, he's not going to figure it out either. So I would say if you'd like it and you've never really masturbated, I would say that you should start with just something small like a clitoral vibrator. Play with your clitoris. I really like the Leia by Fun Factory. It's a little one that like curves in your hand and you can just like. I think it's battery, I can't remember. Battery operated. Or maybe it's rechargeable. It doesn't really matter, but there's so many of them. If you go to goodvibes.com and you could just, like, try your clitoris, see how that feels. Because that does have 8,000 nerve endings. And it'll probably feel really good. Use some lube. And I would also just start with your hands and see how that feels. Start playing with your body. Set time aside. That's masturbation. Because, listen, you haven't had an orgasm. You were in a relationship for three and a half years. Don't expect quick results. This happens. We all want a quick fix. We all think, oh, I tried. It didn't work, or it should happen right away. It's not going to happen. You know, for some women, it does. Some women have orgasms like that, right?

Yeah.

You know how I feel about those women.

Like, you know, those women are amazing.

I had no idea.

Doing the Lord's work, really.

But, you know, it did happen for you. So I would say try a clitoral vibrator. Also, if you want to do some exploring, I would get a rabbit vibrator. Because this way you can explore clitoral and G spot stimulation, like the Jae jou fee fee or the Rabbit habit. They have controls on them where you can use them for insertion for your G spot. And then also they have little, like, the ticklers for your clitoris. And you can even control both of them. So you could use it, like, just in your clitoris one day and insertion. But I would just have some fun and play around and use some lube and know that it might take some time and start to, like. Don't just go right for those regions either. You know, Take a bath. Get out a bath. Like, touch your breasts. You see, some leave, like. Like, I know this sounds. I just feel like I've said this, but, like, light some candles. Like, turn off your goddamn cell phone and focus on your body. Because this is how it's going to happen. And it could take you a day, it could take you a week, it could take you a month. But I guarantee you that once you figure out the puzzle that is your own orgasm, you put all those pieces together, you know, you will start having.

Orgasmic sex.

And you'll enjoy it and you'll think, sex with Emily.

Exactly. I would like to. Yes, exactly. You can name your orgasm after me.

What about Bullet?

Yeah, the Bullet. Okay, so the bullets. Great.

Yeah.

The pocket rocket. The Bullet. I mean, if you don't want to spend a lot, you can just get, like, a quick little bullet, like an egg the rocket. The pocket rocket, yeah. You might spend like 10, 15 bucks. All this, if you go to sexwithemily.com and you click on the Good Vibes banner, you'll see my store. And you can also search their store. You can search for like, clitoral vibrators. You can search and just see what you like. You don't have to do a huge investment. But, you know, I. Pocket rocket was my first one. Little battery takes a double A, you know, that'll do the trick. So I would say a little pocket rocket, the Leia clitoral one, and then maybe move on to a.

Upgrade to.

The Tachi Magic Wand. Or it's not a Tashi wand.

Exactly. The Magic Wand. Exactly. And I would like you to name your first orgasm after me. Thank you very much. That's a good ask. Okay. Oral sex tips. Dear Emily, Great show. I just started listening in December. I learned a lot from you and the listeners and like the content covered. I'm in need of some help. My wife and I recently had our first baby and she's now four months old. We tried for six years and through that, through that time, sex became more of a job. Now that we've had her, I want to do more experimentation in the bedroom. I really love licking my wife down there. It's such a turn on, but she struggles every time to let me go down. I've purchased books to help me do it right. And when I'm down there, she enjoys it. But getting there is the hard part. Please help. How do I convince her that I really love doing it? I've told her that, but she's still very hard to convince when we're having sex. I'm pretty sure I could do it for hours if she'd let me. Drives me crazy that I can't do it more. Any advice on how I can make her more comfortable about letting me do that? I would love her to want me to do it all the time. Thanks. Cunningist in training, ma'. Am. Okay, so the first thing, Mr. Cit, is why is she struggling? Does she say to you, I am uncomfortable and I think you don't really want to. Is she ashamed of her body parts or does it really not feel good to her? Because there's a lot of women. It just really doesn't feel. Feel that great. But you're saying you have a hard time getting there. Once you're getting there, she lets you get there. So I'm a little confused by this, but I would say, you know, take a shower together. Have a sexy evening at home. And then just, you know, start. And don't just go right down there. Like, start caressing her breasts. Like, like build up the foreplay. And it sounds like, you know, either she's got shame around it or I don't really know here. I mean, the thing is, guys love. Some guys really, really love at menace, contrary to what you might think. And I think that if we got to get to the bottom of it, because if she's got some body shame issues or she feels like she doesn't look that good down there, or you really don't want to do it, but you guys have been together a long time, so I think that she would understand that you're really into it. So I'm not sure where the communication breakdown is. I mean, have you straightforward said to her, babe, does it not feel good? Like, do you not want me to do this? Because there's a lot of women who are multi orgasmic, super orgasmic, but they don't like oral sex. Believe it or not, like, those women exist. And so if she really doesn't like it and doesn't feel good, you know, she's not gonna want you to do it. But I'm not sure why she doesn't want you down there. I mean, if it's a dirt, you know, like, again, no.

Again, some women are just not into it.

Yeah, exactly.

Maybe because she had a baby.

Yeah, it could be.

Doesn't look the same down there.

I know. How long ago do they have their baby? Hold on. Four months. Okay. Oh, gosh. Okay, so here's the thing. This is. This is a big secret here, Mr. Cit.

The doctors will tell you that women can start having, you know, intercourse again regularly after childbirth at about, you know, six weeks, two months. Not true. It can take a lot of women between four months, nine months, even a year until they feel like there's no pain down there and they feel more comfortable again with their body. And I'm sorry to say that because that's got to be a really hard position to be in. But she might just not be ready yet. She might not be healed down there. She's, you know, breastfeeding. She's connected to the baby. It's hard for her to relax into it. So maybe you guys need to take, like, I know you have a young baby, but, like, take some time where it's just the two of you. If you get a babysitter and, you know, you try to bring it back, but just don't force this and don't rush it right now. Four months into having a newborn is not the time to push your sexual agenda. It's time to take care of your wife.

Yeah. And the baby might be a reminder. Like, whoa, this is what sex leads to, you know?

Well, no, I mean, I just think that women have so much going on when you have a baby. Like, the baby's crying, you're tired, you're exhausted. I hear this all the time. And I was. My guy friend, he's like, it's been four months. I'm like, yeah, dude, it's. It's a misinformation. Doctors should stop telling women that they're. Some women might be like, hey, let's go. But, like, you do a lot of stuff down there. Like, you pushed a goddamn baby out.

It's like, dude, you got your hand. Get over it. Come on.

Yeah. Get a flashlight.

Yeah.

Something like that. So.

Yeah.

What do you have coming up in the next couple weeks? Anything good?

Valentine's Day. Let me think.

Are you gonna spend Valentine's Day with somebody?

No, I hope not.

Why not?

No, I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't say that. Maybe you never know what could happen in a few weeks. Yeah. If I'm seeing. But not, like, around the pretense of it's Valentine's Day. But I'm pretty fun on Valentine's Day because when I have had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, like, I bring them. Like, I'm like, okay. Like, I remember I was dating someone like, about a few years ago. We went away for the weekend, and I just literally bought a suitcase of sex props.

Wow.

And it was so fun. I had, like, bondage gear, and I had my bondage tape, which I love.

Do you like getting flowers?

I mean, if people turn flowers away. I was actually dating a guy early this year who sent me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers. And every single week, like, beautiful lilies. I know. Every time I came home, they're beautiful. Thirsty.

That guy's thirsty.

He just likes sending me flowers. And I appreciated them. I love them. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm trying to think what's coming out. February. I mean, God, January was so insane. At four conferences in, like, 12 days. Craziness. Keynote speeches, all that stuff. So I'm just.

No, I just want to see if you're into flowers. I suggest any guy that's listening right now, tell me if you're even talking to a girl. Send them flowers. They love that stuff. I refuse to give flowers because My.

Mom'S a florist, which makes no sense. Just say, mom, send them flowers.

I think it's a waste of money, but girls love it.

Okay, let's talk about this for a second. Let's say you're only dating someone for like a week.

Yes.

And it's. Or two weeks and it's Valentine's Day.

I've been in this situation.

Right. And what do you do? You.

You get them something small. Some flowers.

Yeah. That you thought about them.

Yeah.

Or maybe you say, hey, it's Valentine's Day. You know? Yeah. Little flowers. Like, maybe next time you go on a date, if you are going on a Valentine's Day, you don't have to do a whole thing like, yeah, bring her some goddamn flowers. No woman doesn't. Who doesn't want flowers.

Yeah, you can't flower.

No one's like, oh, I hate flowers. You can't really go wrong with that or just do something different. If you like this person. And you know what? If you don't like her, she's gonna know you don't like her because you didn't get her flowers, didn't do anything about it. What are you gonna do? You said it's been all gifts, gifts, gifts. You don't really care.

Yeah, I'm sure we'll do something. Maybe go to a restaurant or something like that.

At a restaurant? That's what you guys do all the time.

We did so much. I know.

Why don't you do one thing differently to in your sex life? Try something that you haven't done or do something special.

Okay. I don't know. You're not going to threesome? I'll ask some other chick to come in. I'm sure she'll love that.

Would she be down with that?

No.

I'm joking.

No, you're not even joking. She wouldn't be down with that. How do you know? Would you be down with that? No.

Wink, wink.

Have you had one? No. You've never.

I'm just kidding. What? I don't know. I don't know what. What to do. Oh, I'm so boring. Okay. Just because I'm not a sex crazy maniac like you.

Oh, dude, I'm not. But you know what's so funny is that people do assume that I'm like, a nymphomaniac. Someone said to me, like, you're kind.

Of a. Nick, you're talking about, like, suitcases full of sex toys.

That's my job. I gotta test them out.

Doesn't mean like a Normal.

I go, so relationship. It's just fun. It's fun. It's what I bring to the table.

I know it's fun.

Some people are great chefs. Some people. You know what other people do in real relationships?

They.

They cook. They, they, they. They know how to.

Great caretakers.

Yeah. I'm trying to think what other people do.

You gotta bring more than sex to the table. Emily, how long I've been telling you this? For years.

Man is like, I want to know, what is your value added to a relationship? I'm a good time. I'm fun. I'm entertaining. So I've heard. All right. That's all we got time for.

All right.

I love you all. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Fellow menace everywhere.

Instagram, menace, M, E, N, A, C E. Or Twitter. Thank you for all the listeners that always hit me up on Twitter or Instagram, say that they. That they love the show. I love that. That's great.

I love that, too. They love you. Everyone loves you. And I love you. And I love you all for listening. Thank you so much for listening to the show. Check out the survey we have in our site because we'd love to get your feedback about what you love. I always ask, really? And actually, some people have been doing this lately. I said, what are your beefs about the show? What do you like about it? What do you want to improve? What do you want to hear in the new year? What don't you want to hear?

Less menace.

Less menace. I'm kicking them out right now. And also, if you like us, review us on itunes. Say good things about it or, you know, whatever. Tell us whatever we want to do. Also, follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com okay, everyone, this is the best present you can buy any guy on your list. And that is the Fleshlight. It is the number one sex toy for men. In fact, I think it's the only goddamn sex toy for men they even have to know about because, okay, it is a male masturbation sleeve that looks and feels like the real deal. So it simulates the sensations of sex. He puts it around his penis. He puts a little lube in it. It's tight. It feels great. You can use it on him. He could use it alone. He could use it when you're not in the mood for sex. And, I don't know, every guy I've given it to has been like, holy moly, can I get another one? For my friend, I love it. It's waterproof. They can use it in the shower, they can use it with their partner. There's the stamina training unit by Fleshlight that helps you last longer in bed, helps you become a better lover. It's like you know the best. And people say it's like the most mind blowing orgasms of their life. It's like sex in a can. You can take it wherever you go. And it's like Flesh Light because it looks like a flashlight, so no one really knows what it is. And you can leave it by your bed. It's body safe. Use it over and over again. And I think you all should just try one out because if you have it, you know, we talk about toys for women, there's thousands to choose from. You guys got one. And this one is stood the test of time. And like I'm saying, one guy told me he would leave his wife if he could cook. Okay? So I'm just saying try it. See if I think you'll like it. Go to sexwithemily.com Click on the Fleshlight banner, use code Emily. Oh, because if you use code Emily, you will get a bottle of the award winning Flesh Lube. Because Fleshlights and Flesh Lube go hand in hand. So check it out, enjoy it, and thanks for listening. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being, which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive of magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualia life.comsexwithemily for 50 off and here's a bonus use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q U A L I A life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.