Sex in Retrograde

Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa and I are giving away free spicy toys or gift cards to every single one of you. That's right, everyone who signs up wins something. And if you haven't heard of Bellesa, let me put you on. They're a bi woman for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness. And now they're hooking you up. You've definitely seen Bellesa's viral toys all over your for you page. Like the rose, it blew up for a reason. This little flower shaped suction toy is iconic. Or. Or their famous whisper collection. You know, the first fully ever silent vibrators. If you live with roommates, parents, or even if your partner is sleeping right next to you, these toys are silent without compromising power. Or their new Pebble Pro. They just one up their best selling pebble with a stronger, smarter and seriously spicy redesign. Ballast has somehow figured out how to engineer a one stop pleasure shop with three interchangeable heads. It sucks. It humps. It licks. It vibrates. I'm speechless. And of course I had to hook all of you up. So my friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to everyone who signs up. You heard that right. Every single one of you wins something. Just click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com Emily that's B B V I B E S.com Emily thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on today's show. I'm joined by Elizabeth Cott and Stephanie Sombari from the that's so Retrograde podcast to talk about mindfulness wellness and how it relates to your relationships with and a partner. Topics include what does all this retrograde talk really mean and what does it mean for your life? Some alternative ways to work on yourself because we're never done improving. And you know I'm all about self work. Why astrology can actually tell us a lot more than we think it does. And how your gut is like your second brain and how it relates to your sexual health. All this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cuz my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information go to sexwithelmily.com if you not checked it out lately cause it's a good friggin time. We got a lot of things there to help you have the sex and relationships that you've dreamed of. And also if you haven't yet, find me on Sirius XM Monday through Friday, 5 to 7pm Pacific, 8 to 10 East. It repeats, which is so awesome, from 9 to 11 Pacific on Stars 109. We take your calls, we talk about sex. So check that out. That's been exciting. But not to worry, we're still doing now three podcasts a week. It used to be two. So now you're getting a bonus podcast. Cause we love you. And as always, you can find me ex with Emily across the board on all social media. I am so excited to welcome my guests to the show. I'm jumping right into that. I have. Here's who they are. They are the hosts, creators, founders, lovers. They're not actually lovers, but I love them. That's so retrograde Podcast coined the ab fab of the new age. They are quite fabulous. You know when you have guests coming in, well, you don't know this because you don't have a show, but if you do and you're like psyched, you're like, don't need to prep, don't need to think about it. I know it's gonna be awesome because everything they have to say is super inspiriting and they're cool chicks. Elizabeth Cott. Stephanie Cimbari. Hi. Hi. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Let's give out the social first. Lizabethcott K O T T. Thanks.

S Simbari. That's S I M B A R I.

Right. And on Twitter you're Steph Simbari.

Yeah, but I like, I have a, you know, I love once a month.

Slash once every six months, do the Instagram. And then you guys also have a. That's so retrograde at so retrograde at that. So retrograde not.

That's Take out the that.

Take out the that Just so retrograde. So retrograde. Yeah, you so can't miss it. Yeah. They're so awesome.

So you're so awesome.

Aw, you guys. So tell me what's going on that you Guys started the podcast how long ago now?

We were working on it around four years ago. This time. We launched in February. It will be, like, four years on air.

Okay, what was the concept? Tell me about how it all came together.

Well, we kind of were really just obsessed with astrology and into making our lives better and smoking weed. And we set out to make this podcast that sort of positioned us as experts on astrology. And quickly we realized that we knew nothing about astrology, and so we decided that we would just be explorers in the space, and that's really taken us very far.

Yeah. So really it's just explorers in these different modalities that, like, as one of our astrologers said, help people find their soul.

Yeah.

Okay. So it was really. Let's talk about astrology, though, for a minute, because I feel like I always read my horoscope.

What are you?

I'm a Gemini.

Oh, guest.

See, you don't know astrology.

We don't claim to know anything.

Gemini. Like, I love when I'm dating someone. Like, my boyfriend was a Gemini. So then we had the same birthday. I thought that meant something like what? You know. So anyway. And I think we all read our horoscopes, but I don't really. Is there a lot of value to it, truly, what you've learned? Yes, we all learn from it.

Well, tell me. I'll start.

Yeah.

So I think that it's interesting because we've all come to know astrology just as, like, I'm a Gemini. I'm a Scorpio. She's a Taurus. You're a Aries. Aries.

Okay.

You're a.

Hell, yeah.

What's your birthday?

November 5th.

Oh, hi.

I'm the third ten brother.

So. But that's just one aspect. Like, if you actually get your chart read, it's an. It's a gigantic circle, and there's, like, lines and dashes and symbols and aspects and all these different energies that are at play. So basically, it's like, to know your whole chart is really the most empowered thing you can do, because it's described as a snapshot of the moment that you were born. It's basically like the blueprint of your soul. And you can learn so much about yourself through knowing all of these different ways that you're gonna play with yourself in the world, with your emotions, with relationships, with work.

Like, there's.

It can describe and give you the archetype of how you will be in all aspects of your life.

And you found it to be very accurate.

Yes, it's incredible.

And then Stephanie, as business partners, we. That traditionally, one of the astrologists we work with will do for couples in a romantic relationship, which is a composite chart. And so to work through some hurdles in our business partnership, we did like, astrology couples counseling.

I love it.

And it's been. Because when you learn how people intrinsically think and how they.

See the world and how they approach conflict based on their astrological blueprint, you're then able to understand and kind of predict how that person is going to be able to, like, work through a problem. So you can in. In tone, like, work through it easier.

It definitely, like, helps with the communication because. So say she knows that I'm the kind of person that's not going to respond to a certain type of confrontation. She can then approach me in a different way or. Yeah, it's a really interesting way to kind of have compassion towards someone else's way of being and not put your own agenda on them and then get angry at them for not being like you. I think that's like, a lot of what happens in relationships. And you're just like, that's just not gonna work for them.

Right.

So I'm just not gonna do that.

Okay.

It's really cool.

No, that is cool. And I got my chart done, like 20 years ago. Would it still be. Do I need to do it again?

They say you should get your chart read once a year.

Oh. Cause I have someone actually, my acupuncturist. Yeah. Wants to do my chart. Cause I also retrograde.

Emily.

Yeah. Isn't it? So he's like. And literally I've had a reminder on my phone for two months. It says, find your birth. I can't find my birth time.

I think in the beginning of every year, it's a cool thing for you to do because it kind of will map and track, like, what unique challenges you'll have that year or what will be working for you that year and what sort of, like, things to look for and things to look out for. It's really like, why wouldn't you want a roadmap?

Okay, good.

Well, then I'm glad that.

So what about all the people who are like. But I read it mine and like, I get these emails every day, like, ohm. Horoscope. I read it.

That's fine. That's basically like 1/100th of the story.

And I think that those are just a really beautiful modality in weaving consciousness into your day. Just to have somebody say, like, here's something to look out for. Like, those just kind of, like generic readings. Like, there's nothing wrong with that.

That really.

It adds perspective, and you're able to look at situations in a much deeper level. It's. They're all.

It's all good.

It's just like an added layer of consciousness.

Got it. Okay. So different modalities. So what are the other modalities that you guys have found now, after a few years doing the show that have been like. That could be helpful and relatable? Yeah.

I think the biggest thing for me this year was feng shui, which was something that I so badly wanted to learn about. And I talked about it on the show, and I was like, this is something I'm so into, and I couldn't really find, like, the right person to learn from. And then this woman, like, kind of, like, popped out of the sky for both of us this year, and we just, like, totally dug her approach. And a lot of stuff to do with relationships. And you'll find this really interesting. Like, the right side size of bed you should have in your room for relationships. So, like, having mirrors in your room, if you're having a problem with trust or infidelity, like having a mirror in your bedroom, it's, like, magnifying the issue.

And also, like, imagery of twos is better than threes. Having things on both sides of your bed.

I've heard about that.

I want to say there's, like, so many symbolic things that sort of subconsciously.

Infiltrate your life and fix your queen bed is best because you're, like, not too far apart, you're not too close. There's enough room. Just, like, really interesting.

Thank God you didn't say, king don't fit in my room.

And she frames. She frames it. And what we really responded to is the fact that it can really. Your feng shui. Your space could act as a living vision board. So it's broken up into these nine different categories, the Bagua chart. And you can see what part is relationship, what part is success, what part is family, what part is health. And kind of work through that in the stuff space that you're in to really call in the space.

So she came into your home and walked around. Can I get her name? Because I'm in a new. I've moved in two years ago. I have no furniture.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

I'm working obsessed with that right now.

I'm ready in the new year of, like, doing it. So I've been thinking I need feng shui. Yeah.

Megan Wallace James is her Name. She was probably one of my most favorite discoveries we've had this year. And then it's like the shway of your life. Like, computer shway. Like, I'm holding onto, like, all these old files I don't need. Or, like, shower shui. Like, how many shampoos do we need? And it's just all about just, like, cleaning the slate. Relationship shway. Like, get the people who are dragging you down out of there.

Let's talk. Yeah. I think this makes so much sense because I often think about that. Like, when you walk into a room, you can feel when something's not right. And we do often talk on the show about, like, if you are single, for example, making your room welcoming to welcome someone else if they come in and you've got your bed against the wall. One nightstand. Like, not enough room. You just have two nightstands either side and just set it up in that way. But, God, I'd love to.

The bedroom. She says my favorite thing. Bedroom needs to be for two things. Sleeping and sex. And nothing else. Like, no tech. No. And once you clear everything out, like, really holds space for sleeping and sex.

Exactly. Like, what else is there supposed to be to do in the bedroom? Okay. I find that fascinating.

And it's also just, like, energetically. I know, like, when my house wasn't in order and I knew things. I knew if I. Even if I put them in a closet, I knew they were there. I'd go into my house, I'd bring someone in, and I'd be in that state of, like, weird shame. Even though I wasn't saying it, it was definitely an energy that I was carrying. And now I'm like, come into my room. Look at how there's nothing here. Like, there's eucalyptus in the corner, and it's all pink, and it's like, let's get to it.

Want to sleep over and have sex?

I don't know if you should come over. Like, it's okay. Like, I'm having a lot of energy.

Blocks around my house. Yeah. Thing. And I. And I would keep thinking, I need someone who knows space, because to me, I know what's wrong. I even just turned my couch the other day because I do have a couch, but I'm getting rid of it. That's all I have. But I thought this opened up the whole room. I feel better. Like, energy was flowing, and I was like. It felt tight and constricted. So that is really cool. I love that. What was the one for you, too? Was it the feng shui?

Oh, I mean, I'm such a big fan. I love feng shui, for sure. That's been really helpful. It's hard for me to pick because there's so many PRP facials I love.

Oh, I love them too. I just did that.

That's really cool. Yeah. I mean, wow. Because I'm. I like, I don't want to look old, obviously, but I also, like, have a thing against.

I'm scared to get Botox again. I got it when I turned 30 because I was in a panic.

And then I got it once more because I was in another panic. And now I'm just kind of like not trying to do that. So I'm trying to find other ways to keep up with the young looking Joneses of Los Angeles.

You look. Both look fabulous.

Thank you.

I have access to Botox, so, yeah.

I'm also, because I have like an eye issue and I'm afraid that if I put poison in my face, I'm just like, I'm trying to not irritate anything in my system. So. PRP is amazing.

Yeah, it's true.

I think numerology is very fascinating.

I love that too.

Sister friends with astrology. We've had that done together too. That's really interesting.

Our first episode at the top of the year runs through all the numerology of 2019.

So we can all check that out if we're curious. Because what I'm curious that people listen like, oh, yeah, I don't really get all this stuff, but it sounds interesting. What you guys do on your podcast is like, you're learning along with everyone else.

Yeah.

And you're actually on the journey and you break it down and you guys are real and you're funny and you're cool chicks and you're like, this is what we got. What we didn't see, you're honest about.

Yeah.

So it's not like someone's has to be like, oh, it's all woo, woo.

Right. We really try to ground it in like conversational banter so that. And people can just take the information that works for them and try something and put it down. And we say we like to provide the information so everyone can build their own toolkit. So there's absolutely no one size fits all. We don't preach, like, you must meditate, but we will talk about the scientific benefits of meditation and have the leaders in the space on to communicate all of that. And like, if that inspires someone to try it, that's really all we really aim for.

Right. You're not like pushing down their throat, but hopefully they'll pick up. Like just like on this podcast, we cover so many things about sex. One day they're gonna want to be ball gagged.

And like, I know about anal sex from your show, but like, I haven't needed to throw that in my toolkit just yet.

But if it does come along, you'll be like Emily says, go slow, breathe slow, and use lots of lube.

I know exactly the type of lube to use.

Exactly.

So it's like all in the toolkit.

So we'll be leaving lubes today.

FYI, we're basically the same show.

Yeah, I think we are.

Don't fuck you too hard in the house.

Is that your sign off? Yeah, I love it. But no, I love that it is kind of true. Because you're breaking down this whole. Because everyone knows, everybody knows now if you've been living on planet Earth for at least the last 10 some odd years, you should probably meditate. They sell yoga mats at Walgreens. Like the whole wellness, health, spirituality space is there. And I think there's a gate gateway that they can't quite. Or there's a hurdle. They're like, well, I don't really know and I don't really. So the way you guys kind of feed it, they can kind of. They choose. But what do you think? Do you hear from people who are like, I want to get into the space. I'm not sure what it means for me. Where do I start with being more enlightened, if you will. What does that even mean?

What I always say to people is just follow your curiosity. Whatever is the most interesting to you, go towards that. Because it doesn't really matter what your entry point is. It matters your connection to the thing that you're looking towards. And there's no shortage of people at this point, like touting this information at this point. It's really like mainstreaming in a very real and amazing way. So we're just here being like, do it however you want to do it. What feels good to you, what sounds good to you. Just try something and then that will lead to something else. The biggest thing, the biggest like disservice I think that you can do to yourself is to think that there's a disconnect between you and the thing. Because your wellness and your health and your well being isn't something that is outside of you. You have everything that you need. You just might need like an assistant of some kind or like guidance. But really internally at the end of the day. What we've learned is, like, really, truly, all you really need is, like, water and meditating and you'll be fine.

It is true.

Like, the more we learn, the more we're like, what's our secret? Hydrating and breathing.

So true.

You don't need a whole bunch of shit.

You really don't really need to take.

A sip of water at the moment.

Listen, everyone. Yeah. Have you. Have you had your 50 ounces?

It's come about in an interesting time where our health on, like, a macro scale, we're not supported by our government. It has completely turned our back on supporting our health. So it is imperative that we all take it into our own hands. And so if we can be the tiniest part of introducing people to information.

The tiniest part.

The tiniest.

You little, tiny, cute people. Can you talk about that more about our government and what you mean by that? I'm assuming a health care system.

Health care system is. Is impossible. And if you are even trying to look out for yourself, there's the languaging and the hurdles of. For just even signing up for covered California. Like, it just is not clear.

And I will say that the way that medicine is structured now in that system is that they're treating the symptoms and not the cause. So say you're depressed, which I'm sure a lot of people are depressed. They're gonna say, not at this moment.

But I.

Right.

But we.

We are living in a time when a lot of people are. Yeah, it's a depressing time. But depression stems from other things besides Donald Trump, besides the economy. It's not just about the external thing. That's a side thing. But you're depressed. They're like, oh, we're depressed. Hold on. We have, like, this fucking booklet of all these pills you can take to treat your depression. But what they're not looking at is what's going on inside of your body that might be, like, adding to your depression. Your gut health, for example, is, like, the first thing that you should look at if you're depressed. Your second brain is in your gut. It's, like, well documented. All the research is calling your gut. Your second brain, like, 90% of your serotonin lives in your digestive tract. Your immune system lives in your digestive tract. It's like, so much is going on there that to give your brain a pill, which we don't even know that much about. Exactly. First line of defense is a mistake that's treating the symptom and not the cause. And that's how so much of medicine functions right now.

Yeah, I think you're so right. And I'm just hearing more about this. Cause I always feel like I've been healthy, but I've been hurting. The more road I've been going down with like acupuncture and massage, I hurt my back. So I've had to like slow down this year and be. Which I think has been a good thing ultimately when you get sick or something happens. But I've heard more about this. That your gut is your second. What did you say? Your second.

Your second brain.

And so talk more about that because I was like, I was shocked. Like I actually had kind of heard it, but now I keep hearing it. So let's talk about how can people know if their gut's healthy?

Well, most people's guts are not healthy.

Exactly, exactly.

Because we're living in a very over processed chemical world. So how do you know if your gut's unhealthy? Let's see.

I mean, going to the bathroom regularly is a number one indicator, obviously.

But what is your poop? What does it look like? How does it feel when you do it? Is it solid? What's the color? It's gross to talk about. And it's probably not what people want to hear. But your poop is like a weird tell of obviously the inside of your body. There's that. Then like what's happening with your skin? What's happening with your energy levels? Do you have brain fog? I mean, these are all symptoms of an imbalanced gut. Is. Are you really gassy? Are you cramping? Does it hurt when you eat certain things? Is it burning? Like, it's not hard to tell that something's imbalanced. But I know so many people that will like eat something, it'll hurt. They do it every day and they take a Tums right? Every day. And it's like you're fucking yourself everywhere.

Yes, exactly. We're in California. We are so lucky. Like I literally drive past, you know, 16 Pilates Studios, eight acupuncturists wellness, there's five Whole Foods. Like we are lucky. We live here in the space where it's everywhere. But if I'm in Michigan, Elizabeth and I both grew up in Michigan. Michigan, or you're in Arkansas or you're in Florida and it's not what kind of work. Where would you start? If your doctor saying take a pill is this accessible? Can you find this kind of help if you're not in California or you know, you can Empower yourself.

Yeah. I think there's more and more resources available to us that is that it was interesting at south by Southwest two or three years ago when during tech, you can kind of always see, like, what trend is happening. And the biggest thing was health and health apps and all of these different things as a direct response to the fact that everyone was feeling so failed by the way our health systems were set up. And so this now, you know, that being a few years ago is now trickling down. So there's a lot of different apps. I think a lot of the insurance companies are getting hip to the more natural offerings.

A lot of insurance companies are covering.

Acupuncture and chiropractic, and a lot of doctors, too, have been failed by the systems that are supposed to support them. So they're turning to kind of a 360 approach. And so I think it's. It's a slow burn, but it is going to be. It is turning around in its favor. And the fact that we're just. The access to information is there to somebody who maybe didn't feel like a family medicine doctor is really giving them their full diagnosis or help they need a naturopath is always a sound investment. Get your poop tested, get a blood panel.

That's what I was gonna say is.

You went to a natural.

You have to ask for those things, though, is the thing. Like, a lot of times a doctor won't say, oh, let's test your poop, let's test your blood. They'll just give you, like, the basic rundown. It's interesting.

Your Western doctor will do that.

Yeah.

Just the basics.

The basics. And the American system of reading your blood is also, like, they won't tell you something's wrong until you're, like, really sick. So there's like this whole level in between, like, what's thriving and what's. Like, you're very ill and there's a middle ground. Well, where in America, they'll say, like, you're fine.

Right.

But you're not. So you have to ask for these tests. You have to have them read by someone who is a naturopathic doctor. But literally, like a poop test, any doctor can run it and they can tell you, oh, you've been eating eggs and you're allergic to eggs. You have a dairy sensitivity.

Wherever you live, you could do that. And that's the thing we have to take.

Yeah.

Take initiative with your doctor. Ask them. Yeah, no, that is such good advice.

And also, like, I don't think. I mean, this might be making an assumption, but I'm pretty sure no matter where you live, there's. There's some kind of natural clinic acupuncturist within a hundred miles of where you live in America. Like, I probably could say that with, like, 90% certainty that they're around.

Yeah, they are around. You just have to look for it. It's not so. It's because you're right. South by Southwest is a great indicator because that is where a lot of tech and trends. That's where it kind of gets set every year. The conference in Austin, if you haven't been. We were there, but we missed each other.

We did a day.

And can I plug one thing, too? Like, if you're someone who's like, oh, I don't know where to start. There's no Whole Foods or natural Grocery near me, and I don't know what. What to do or where to buy. Like, I would say two things. Like, try an elimination diet. If you're eating something regularly that's. That's hurting your body, try to eliminate each food group over the course. Like, say, like, okay, I'm not gonna do dairy for the next three weeks. See how I feel if that doesn't do anything, okay, I can have dairy. I'm not gonna do grains for the next three weeks. So I feel maybe, okay, that's fine. I'm not gonna do nuts like you. Your body. You need to treat your body like it's your own science experiment. And then you can order good food on thrivemarket.com.

That'S true.

Yeah.

Which is an incredible.

What's your code?

Retrograde.com. i love market.

They used to be my sponsor, but not anymore. So, no, it's cool, right? So.

But they're amazing.

No Thrive Market use code retrograde.

Yeah. I mean, I wasn't even saying that to plug our thing, but I don't mind if you do, but I. I just think that people should know that there's. That just because you're not around a Whole Foods or something doesn't mean that you're outside of what's possible for you in terms of healthy options.

We're going to take a quick break, and we'll come back with more Elizabeth and Stephanie.

When I went to see my Western doctor about my back, for example, and I told her that I was going to see. I said, well, I think I'm going to do acupuncture. And I'm seeing that she's like, well, supplements don't work. And that's not Proven. And it was like, cedars. See?

But then that's the thing. It's like, so who are you looking to. Not to get like, political, but like, then you're looking to the fda, and the FDA is clearly not steering us on the right track 100 of the time. So if something isn't FDA, quote unquote, FDA approved, like, that, to me personally is like, so.

Yeah, exactly.

And that the FDA is doing what is FDA approved? Things that are. And literally killing our society.

And like, how. I guess I would ask you, like, when your doctor said that, how did you feel when she said supplements don't work? What was your, like, internal read?

My internal read was like, I've been seeing this naturopath in Burbank schlepping there. And. And he's. I know that it's helping me. He read my blood work so differently than you did. But I had to go in because I slipped a disc and I just had to go through the motions so she could recommend that I go see a physical therapist. I mean, I just listened to her going, I knew you'd say that. And I'm sad for you.

So that's the thing. And that's, I think, something that's really challenging.

I didn't even try to change her mind. She knows, and you shouldn't.

But what I'm saying is just to be in your own personal power of saying, like, I'm trusting my internal read versus, like, you as this, like, so called authority figure, I think is very difficult. I've been in a position where I've had to, like, stand up to doctors before. And it's so challenging because we give them this power. And as I guess on some level we should.

Yeah.

But because the paradigm is shifting of these kinds of things, it really does come down to your intuition and you being like, I don't think what you're saying is correct. In fact, I know what you're saying is incorrect. And I need to trust myself more than I trust you right now.

Right. And trust my gut. And that's why if you have a healthier gut, that's a real thing. When people say trust your gut, there's a reason we have our intuition. Center lives there. Like, we know most the answers. Yeah. We truly do. And most of what we know, all that we need is inside of us already. Yeah. In many ways.

Namaste.

Namaste. So what about retrograde? I needed to ask you guys, because I know that's your thing, but, like, is that real, too? Mercury in retrograde? Is that really gonna. Because we always joke. Everyone does. Oh, God, my cell phone.

I lost it.

It cracked. What does it really mean? Mercury retrograde.

Talk the astrological and I'll talk the things you should avoid.

Okay. Because I did just find this article. I was gonna talk to you about all the things for the New Year. I'm like, I don't understand the retro. Should we care about this?

What article?

Something how each planet's retrograde will affect you in 2009-19.

Okay, well, here's the thing about that. Where's that article from? Your tango? Okay, okay. I don't know what that is, but I'm sure they're great people.

So.

Actually, in 2019, we have a pretty chill. That's what it says as far as retrogrades are concerned. 2018 was a very intense year of retrogrades. We had gigantic planetary retrogrades, Mars and Venus, which.

Okay, so, okay, explain the retrograde.

Here we go. Retrograde happens is a phenomenon that happens to every planet in that basically the. The energy of the planet slows, so it's not. It's not creating the same energetic field around it. So the way that it relates to us on Earth and our bodies that are made of water and all that shit changes.

It looks like it's moving forward, it.

Looks like it's moving backwards, but it's actually not moving backwards. It's just changing speed.

Okay, I guess. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Yeah.

So kind of like when you're going by a car and it. Like, you know how that happens when you. It looks like the car is standing still, but it's. Yeah, you're just passing it.

It's, like, totally getting it.

Okay, so Mercury, the planet itself, is the ruler. All the planets rule different archetypes and energy forces. So Mercury. And you're a Gemini, which is ruled by Mercury, which is the planet of communication.

Yeah. Here we are. Hey, I'm in the right place. Thank God, right job, so.

Yeah, exactly. Geminis love to speak. Not to throw this into the mix, but Donald Trump is a Gemini. And that's why he can't stop tweeting. Cause he's out of fucking control.

Yes. Oh, God.

Kanye west is a Gemini. Can't shut the fuck up, doesn't know how to stop talking. Like, those are shadow, dark aspects of being a Gemini. You're in a good, positive light, Gemini. But these are things that we see with signs where it's like, if there's some sort of imbalance, it will go off the rails. So Mercury is ruling communication and such technology and transportation. So that's why it's like my phone, my car.

So that's really true. We should pay attention to that. But thank God, in 2019.

But Mercury will go retrograde every year. So that's the one planet that every year goes retrograde.

And I will say for all those four times a year wheeling and dealing out there, try to avoid signing contracts during a retrograde. Unless some if the, if the deal has been like a long time in the works, it's okay, but recommended not. And we've at times we've been like, we need to wait till it's out of the retrograde. And they say, okay, yeah, maybe it's because we're in la, but in LA.

They'Re like, of course.

See, I really so obsessed with the retrogrades too, because what think of the word retrograde, it's like a reword. So all of the words that start with three, like revisit, review, revise, like all of these resolution, resolution, all these things that have to do with re come up during the retrograde, depending on which planet is in retrograde. So like this, this last year we had Venus retrograde for many months, which is like the planet of love and the planet of relationship, the planet of one to one interaction, the planet of beauty. So there was a lot of things happening, and I'm sure you saw this on your show with like a lot of deep relational issues coming up with people that was like more than just the surface of what's at hand. Like maybe things were being triggered from like their past because they didn't deal with something 20 years ago and all of a sudden it's back because they never dealt with it. And the Venus retrograde is going to be like we're reaching back and we're gonna say you gotta fucking deal with this issue or you're not moving forward in your life in this way.

Yeah, and that's true for all issues that we don't deal with. See, I just talk about it and like if you haven't dealt with something like trauma or anything that's happened to you in your past, which we all have, I always say whatever we resist, persists. Yeah, resist dealing with it, it never goes away.

Reword. Yeah, but another reword.

Right? Re.

Right, yeah, but that to say like all of these, these with astrology and numerology and all of these things, it just provides to go back to. It is another layer of consciousness or a lens to look through, to self assess. And I Think that that's really the thing. That's so cool. It's like, okay, like, I'm. I'm more always a little bit more on the skeptic side of things. But if it gives me an opportunity to look and evaluate my life, look at my relationships, look at my day, look at my month ahead, look at my year ahead with, like, a deeper sense of knowing and consciousness, like, that is such a beautiful thing to bring into your days.

Right. So you kind of take what you like and leave the rest, as they say, from different modalities. Is there anything that you were so psyched about and you're like, this is bullshit. As far as any of the things that you studied or learned. You don't have to mention names.

I would say that I have a little bit of a chip on my shoulder about psychics.

Not that I don't think that. That it's real. I think that there is a lot that can be gleaned from someone who's highly intuitive, which is what a psychic really should call themselves.

Their guts clear.

Highly intuitive people. We are not fortune tellers and we're not going to predict your life's narrative. We live in a free will universe where everyone makes choices and that is how things move forward and that's how we affect things. But an intuition is interesting and cool and you can have yourself reflected in that way. But anyone that tells you this is what's gonna happen, this is who you're gonna meet, this is what they're gonna look like, all that kind of thing just based on, like, nothing. Their intuition, their psychic thing. I can't with you.

Okay, okay. No, I'm firing my psycho.

What I can't do is people who. And we see this a lot and no shade, all love, obviously. But anyone who is like celebrity blank in front of them, like celebrity psychic, celebrity astrologist, it's like, you don't have to say that.

No. And I makes you not a celebrity.

A lot of people do that.

Oh. And they'll write down, like, on their inst.

Like the celebrity or like an oppressed kid.

I don't ever.

It feels like. Yeah, it feels like 90s to me.

Well.

And you automatically discredit yourself because once you become like a celebrity psychic, can you imagine your biggest nightmare?

Oh, my God.

Celebrity psychic.

Goodbye.

Done. So, yeah. That is just before you even walk.

I just think it's dangerous and irresponsible for you to put something into somebody's head. And then now, like, someone's like, you're gonna meet A man. And he's gonna look like this, and he's gonna do that, and he's gonna be from here. And then everyone else that I meet, if I like them, I'm like, well, you're not that guy. And then I'm missing out on real life experiences because some random fucking person I gave my power away to told me that he's gonna wear a business suit and be from Florida or whatever.

Exactly. No, I've had those experiences. So what, have you been with psychics? I'm like, that is not true. Why didn't they tell me the black. I went to the psychic, like, right before I got bit by a black widow two years ago. And I thought the psychic was amazing. And I kept listening to it and I was like, couldn't. She saw all these things. She didn't see the black widow that had to be up in the hospital for a week.

I mean, that's the biggest thing.

That's big. Yeah. That could have killed another thing that was gonna happen.

Yeah.

So. Okay, so my question then is, what do you think? How has the show helped both of you personally in your personal life? So what you've. What you've learned, or, like, in relationships, say, like, you're single. Right. Stuff.

You're dating single till I die. No, just kidding.

But like, anything.

Like, do you look at even your relationships? How has it affected your personal life all these years, three years now of interviewing experts? Do you feel like, how have you guys changed and how does that manifest? What does that look like?

Well, there's. It's twofold. One in that we. On, like, a larger scale, we. Our journey, our health, our everything we do in this space with wellness and consciousness, like, we talk about it, so it holds it to a higher standard and it becomes paramount. And I would say when we started the show, we were interested in things, but I certainly wasn't living my best health and certainly wasn't on the road that we're on now where I'm really open to anything. Whereas before, I think I came in with more of a skeptic hat. And then, you know, on the other side of it is doing something we love and something we created from an idea and having it grow steadily and expand and have a community around the show expand. Like.

They always say that, you know, to. To have confidence, you got to impress yourself. Like, that's the key to self confidence.

Who's that?

Dr. Laura says that.

Oh, God, she was Dr. Laura.

I know.

I have become a lot more confident in myself. I think that it has to do with a doing something I truly, truly believe in and adore. That's one side of it. And also being really focused on feeling great. So, like, those two things combined have brought me into a place of, like, I think I'm a great friend and a great partner and really good at my job because I have all these little components working in my favor with not without challenge. But that's kind of like this show because it is so health focused and wellness focused and mindfulness focused. Like you like, being on my game is primary.

It's a good answer. I love it. And I think you guys and I. And I'm impressed. You guys are doing great work.

Really.

You started this podcast. You have events and people come and they love you. And I've not been to one yet, but I want to. But I've seen it on the Instagram, and I feel like you guys are doing great, great work. Thank you.

You're a podcast mom.

I am your podcast mom. I said, you guys go over, hang out anytime. It's so fun.

Can I add to what she just said?

Yes, of course. You're the next question. Oh, it was to you as well.

Oh, perfect. Wonderful. I thought we were one. We're like conjoined twins.

Yeah. I just wanted to say that I was impressed.

Thank you.

Thanks, mom.

Yeah, but now it's your turn.

I'm impressed, too. Thanks, mom. I was gonna say, because I don't. I don't really think of it as, like, impressing myself as much as accepting myself. I think that's. I think that's more what the show has given me, tools to get closer to. I can remember being a child and never doubting myself and always being confident. Always just, like, knowing who I was. And then, you know, the world is constantly trying to guide you in ways that take you away from yourself. And all of these practices, whether they be spiritual or whether they be just practical things like exercising and sweating or just things that are normal, everyday things, have just led me to a place of being. Like, okay, I am this human in this body, with this soul and this mind and this heart. What can I do every day to take care of this, this body, this being in order to live my most fulfilled life? For me, that's a good answer. I just think I love it.

So what is it that you're doing every day? Like, what could we glean? What would be some things to. To start, if we want to start on a path like this? Like, are you. You said sweating. Do you guys go to that sweat place. Shape House. I want to go to Shape House. Okay.

You've not been.

No, but they keep. I want to go. How often do you go?

Like twice a week.

Stop.

Yeah.

Okay. And you just sweat for an hour, right? Yeah.

Or do lymphatic drainage, which is you put on this, like, suit. That's like a compression suit, and it. Lymphatic drainage. So hot right now.

Can we do it there?

Yeah. So the best.

Can we? Because usually we get manicures when we've gone out, but that would be way more effective.

You can lymph drain. Lymph drain.

And then sweat, and then that's like the dream day.

And you feel after from sweating. Like, I have a steam shower at my house.

Detoxing. It's just you also, your heart rate.

Goes up a bit.

Like, you're just, like, really wringing out. Whatever. Shouldn't be in there. Yeah.

Steam showering is incredible.

Have I not gone, though? Yeah. I want to go back. We're in.

It's a different thing.

So is that. What do you guys. You're meditating every day? I know it's hard every day kind of thing.

I do meditate every day. It took me many years to get to that point, but I kind of think I hacked the system.

Would you. How did you hack.

And by the system, I mean my own self and resistance.

Yeah.

I do it before I get out of bed. I know that's like. Sounds obvious.

That's exactly.

But I wake up in the morning. I sit up while I play with my dog for a second. Even if I look at my phone before, it doesn't matter. I've tried to do the thing where I don't look at my phone. That's challenging. I do it sometimes. I don't do it other times. I try not to be too hard on myself about that. It doesn't matter. But after five or 10 minutes, I'm like, all right, this phone's gonna suck me. And you know when you look at your phone and then, like, all of a sudden, it's 45 minutes. You've done jack shit. You've lost your whole.

About that. Yeah.

It's not a good feeling.

My mom called Mishy. I'm like. It's like, there goes my day.

Yeah.

So just make sure that before you really let yourself get carried away into the phone, you give yourself. I do 11 minutes and 11 seconds because I'm trying to sync with the magic of the universe. That portal, you know, that portal. That magical portal. But. And I Just sit up and set my timer. And for me, silent meditation is, is good for some people. They need to do a meditation track, maybe some music, whatever. You need to like get yourself in the focus zone. Do it before you get out of bed. Because there's something about getting out of bed and seeing your house and suddenly you get ramped up into the day that that little moment of taking care of yourself becomes less and less and less important the farther you get away from that instant realization that it's the most important thing. So that's my hack.

Totally with you. It's a great hack. In fact, it reminds me of a hack. I think it was. Deepak Chopra told me. Me and Deepak directly. Deepak Chopra. When Dee and I were up for coffee. No, I read it somewhere and this is the secret. And he said, rpm, rise, pee, meditate, love. So he's like, he's like, wait, can I.

Or poop?

Or poop? And then send it to your doctor. But it's like rise to you meditate. Because it's more like, can I get cough? No, rise to meditate. Can I call my friend? No. And then it's kind of like it's the same thing. So that helped me too. That was my hack too. Haven't been as great the last few weeks, but I get unpass on and off. But mostly I do.

Sometimes it's okay to get off your habits. I think sometimes when you get out of your practices is when you really realize how much they've been helping you. And that's just as much an important part of the journey as doing them. As being like, wow, I took that for granted. And that's something that is a non negotiable for me. And knowing what your non negotiables are is really important because it's for you, not for somebody else.

Exactly.

Yeah. And I'll add to that for both of us, journaling in the morning is really helpful. We subscribe to morning pages of just doing a brain dump.

Do you hand write it? Do you do three pages every morning?

I don't do that. I mean, I keep my journal next to me when I meditate and I'll just write shit down and however much time I have or whatever. But there's some times when I'm like, why do you have to do three pages? Cause some shit is working through my.

Mind for me right now. I've really been trying to force myself back into making it a routine so it's at least a page. And I try to just leave it at that. And if I'm writing tiny, great. If I'm writing big, it's too. It's like, whatever. But I think it's really important, I think, to do the first two weeks and try to do three pages every day. If you're trying to kickstart some type of new creative juice. But if you're just trying to, like, skim whatever off the top layer of your brain before you start the day, like, it's.

It is so healing.

I'm. One sentence, and it's fine. But there's just something about that practice for me, like, I'm killing it. If I'm meditating and journaling in the morning, one or the other is just as good.

Yeah, no, I'm so with you on the journaling so that some. Talk more about that for a second because I. That keeps coming back. I read the Artist's Way, so I. In 1992 for the first time. And then when I moved from San Francisco, I was. Six years ago, I was cleaning out all my books, and I had four copies of it there. I just.

Buying it, but I never really did. Like, I did it when I first got it, and I was like, I'm gonna write it. I'm gonna read it. And then I was like, so the morning pages. I have all of her things. And then recently, I got back into therapy. Cause you're never done. And she was like, you should try journaling in the morning. I'm like, God damn it. The morning pages again. Don't tell me to buy the goddamn book. I gave it away. But there is a lot, and I know that. So I. I got my morning journal. And I. Not every day, but I do think that it is very. That's so tangible. Like, everyone's got a notebook and don't do it on your computer. Although I want to do that. There's something about the pen to the paper and getting it out and being kind to yourself if it's just a page or three pages. Because all day long, whatever. I love how you said skimming off the top. Like, whatever's in the brain percolating when you wake up, get it out.

I love so powerful the visual of, like, the pool that collects the leaves and the junk overnight and just needing to, like, skim off that junk of the pool. If your brain's the pool. Right?

Yeah. No, you're absolutely right. Those are all really good tools, really helpful.

And honestly, every. Like, if just those things breathing, as we said, hydrating, giving yourself a little creative outlet to just, like, Work through whatever's going on in your head. Everything else is just like, you know, cake.

I love it.

What those things do, I think more to the point is that journaling is getting you fully cognizant of yourself. That's. I think a lot of the problem with people is that they aren't in touch with themselves. And so that when there is a. Even if it's like a stomach problem or a health problem, they don't even realize it because they're not connected to their own self. So if you're writing in your journal, like, because you know, you're not controlling what you're writing in the morning pages, you're just a free write. So if you're like, okay, I woke up this morning. I have a stomachache. I've had a stomachache for the last three days. And then you. You keep doing that. You're like, oh, I have a stomachache. Like, you almost need to see yourself in front of yourself in order to, like, listen and respond. Because, again, the world is like, you are secondary to what we need you to do.

Exactly. It's so easy to react to the universe rather than be control of it, is what you're saying. So, yeah, no, I think you're absolutely right. That. So what? That is another great tool that helps us connect to ourselves. Cause I do believe so many of us are so disconnected from our bodies, which is what I often talk about, is that that's why we think we don't want sex, need sex for women, masturbation. I'm like, you gotta do it. It's gonna connect you, that sexual energy. You gotta keep it flowing. And we just don't. We just assume it's just not part of us. And so have you found that, like, a lot of this stuff has helped? Like, first of all, back up, what do you attribute this disconnection to that you're finding from a lot of people? Do you think it's more so.

Or do you think it's the human.

Condition that the phone.

We're not.

Yeah.

We're not sitting with ourselves ever. Like, if you're. If a friend is 10 minutes late for coffee, like, what. What are you gonna do? You're gonna pick up your phone? We had a guest, Poppy Jamie, who has an app called Happy Not Perfect on our show, and she explained it really perfectly. And that 60 years ago before, like, when people were, like, moving their bodies for a living, and then people became more stationary. So then people started going to the gym, and they started making time in their day. To work out because people were no longer moving around as much. Right now we're at that part with our brains. Like, we're not using our brain.

Yes. You have to, like. Like, so true. The consciousness to be like, I'm waiting for my friend. I'm not gonna scroll Instagram till they come. I'm gonna sit. I'm not meditating. I'm just sitting with myself. I'm sitting with my thoughts. I'm observing people walking by. I'm thinking about what's in my head. I'm thinking about yesterday. I'm thinking about tomorrow. Know I'm engaging with myself and my senses as opposed to immediately. I mean, I truly believe that the phone zaps your hypothalamus.

Yeah.

I really think that it's like a direct.

What's the hypothalamus stuff? People have hypothalamus. It's like.

It's the. It's your third eye. It's like the center of your brain that's connected.

I was wondering where my. It went. Yeah, I was thinking of the feng shui person, but anyway. Oh, my God.

For sure.

Jeez. The cell phones, they're toxic. I agree with you. And I can't stop. Right. It's outside my room for a while, but then my clock. In my room, whatever.

Have you set up screen time on your phone?

No.

In settings, you can have the apps turn off. So my phone turns off at 10:30, and I have social media set. I'm allowed to use it a certain amount of hours a day, and it will turn off. You can, like, add 15 more minutes manually, but then the apps go black. It's the most genius thing. I'm so thankful that. What is it called if you go into your settings?

Huh?

Then you. It's called screen time.

I'm gonna show you. I'm writing it down. Okay.

Oh, and then you set it for all of the content that you can and cannot use.

Okay.

Tell us we're out of control.

Because I've been noticing lately when I'm out and about, like, I went to a car dealer, a car. Our car fixer, whatever place, you know, they've. Shit. I'm not gonna read their magazines about, like, Mechanics Weekly. And so there's no magazines. I thought, well, back in the day, you'd just be sitting there. Maybe you talk to someone. Next, you'd observe who's coming in. You maybe look at their other cars or whatever's going on. But now you walk in and there's like, six people just staring Down. And that's wherever it is, wherever you go. And that's how I used to meet people and used to observe. Now it's like I feel like life is just passing by. It's because we always have this entertainment. And it's interesting. The way you just said this is that we are reacting. We're not creating. And we're just like this. This is taking us out of ourselves directly. We're putting everything into this stupid goddamn phone.

And it's so convenient and great at times, but it's. Just because it's convenient and great doesn't mean it should be. It's convenient and great all the time. Like, it just isn't.

And how do you moderate it? You have to put tools.

Literally have Apple set it up, but so you have downtime app limits, apps that are always allowed. You just can kind of like tailor it. And it is probably one of my favorite things of this year to have been able to like, find a solution.

This is so good. You guys do like a year end podcast of what you learned this year, do you?

Yeah, we're doing it.

That's so retro.

This with Jeff Ross. He's gonna be our guest.

Oh, he's funny and fun. And you're also comedian, right? Stephanie, are you still doing comedy?

Just being funny all the time, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because you started writing fashion. You guys came together. Were you guys best friends before? Yeah. And it works. See, because you had the astrologer and all the tools. Couldn't mess us up. The composite chart. Yeah, I'm taking notes.

No, it's really. I mean, the next relationship that I get into, I will be sure to do that. Because we're human beings. Nothing is perfect all the time. That's the other thing about all this wellness, shit, consciousness, all of this. You're a human being. Accept it. You're not gonna get over that. You're not gonna transcend that. You're not gonna be perfect. Everything's always gonna be messed up and fucked up because that's what the human condition. So, so start with accepting that and then we'll move forward. So in relationships, it's like, you know what? We're not always gonna get along. We're not always gonna see eye to eye. Sometimes things are gonna be hard and we're gonna have to have shitty conversations. But, like, don't we want to make that as easy as possible?

Right, Exactly. Accepting the fact that life is a series of ups and downs. I just talked to a friend the other day. She was like, why is this happening to me again, like, she got another job, didn't work out or something. And she's like, again, things were going so well, and I'm like. Like this notion that we have that somewhere, somehow, someday, life is going to always be perfect and there's not going to be maybe even every day or every week something that's going to throw you off and be. And upset you or be, like, off the track. Like that. That is life.

That is the process of the ups and the downs and learning how to navigate, negotiate.

But I would say to your friend, get your chart read. You're probably bumping up against an issue that you're not aware that you have in your fucking soul. And because you're not aware of it, it keeps biting you in the ass. So let's make you aware.

We'll just tell you that, like, that's a lot easier.

Literally, your chart will be like, okay.

I'm gonna see my acupuncturist and bring my birthday so you can deliver the chart.

Truly, they'll be like, you are someone who fought, who rubs up against authority. I mean, I don't know. I'm just making that.

Right, right, right.

So whenever there's a thing with authority and you rub up against it, you don't know how to deal with it. So you act out in X, y and Z ways because of this, that, and the other thing in your chart.

Probably because you're telling that to you. Yeah.

You just be like, oh, I'll never do that again.

Right. Or you might, but when you do, you'll know.

You'll know I will never do it in the same way, in the way that I've been doing it.

Okay. That's really. You guys, this is all chock full of advice. I already feel changed just hearing the advice. But that's the thing about this stuff, is that you have to do it.

Yeah.

You have to stick with the plan and at least, like, you know, if. Is there anything. I have one more question for you. And then we have actually five questions for you. Each guest has to answer our quickie questions. Okay. I love a cookie, but I love a cookie. Right? And then my question for you is.

Is there anything that you said hacking it, like, so you could learn to meditate or open a journal? Is there anything that you. Because you are talking about a lot of new modalities for people to adopt. Is there anything you've learned about people and habits that hasn't. That has worked? I know it's hard. I struggle with it.

That has worked.

That works like a habit thing. I've heard the things about do everything for a minute. You don't have to do 10 sit ups. You could do one sit up, you could do read one page of a book if you want to read again and then eventually you'll add upon that.

I think personally, for me, it's just my biggest learning curve was making space in my day was just allowing there to be time for me to make a meal that will satiate me, allow there to be time to sit down and write in my journal. Just like giving space so that I can be places on time. Just like, not constant, like, just constantly being ahead of myself was just not helping.

Right.

So I wasn't making room for me to sit with myself for a second. And so just like not over scheduling. I know that sounds so silly, but that's just like the. For me, that's the only way that I can stick to a practice or try something new is making my day clear enough to do that. And it's not about, like not having responsibilities, not being at work on time. It's about just like, okay, instead of going to drinks right after work, I'll go home and give myself 30 minutes to get to like, sit with myself.

Yeah, that's worth.

No, that is in my bedroom or like, whatever needs to happen.

Right? That's something I've. Yeah, exactly. That is a great. Cause when you're back to back, you feel like, yeah, you're getting everything done and that breathe. Time is important. I've just learned that. So important. That's great. Good. Anything for you.

I just think stop making excuses.

Ooh.

Is the trick like, get over yourself.

Just take, take a hard look, do your work.

If there's something that you feel like you need to be doing, you're not doing it. And you find yourself being like, I'm not doing it because of that, or I'm not doing it. It's like, no, you're not doing it because you're making an excuse. You're putting something else in the way of prioritizing your shit. And doing the work is not easy and it's not fun all the time. And sometimes you do have to be like, I'm looking over here a lot. What I need to do is take 10 minutes and make myself a meal. Because that's gonna show me that there's nowhere else I need to be except for right here.

Right. That's really good advice because I'm always saying, do the work, do therapy. But these are you Guys have definitely presented a lot of different.

No one is gonna like, therapy is great. I love. I love that we have that available to us. I love we have all these things available to us, but at the end of the day, it's you and you alone. That's gonna get you where you need to go. And if you find yourself just not doing that shit, that's your bad.

Yeah, we all have.

Sorry to be a tough mom.

No, I love it, you guys.

Good mom. Bad mom.

Yeah, I'm the bad mom.

Okay, thank you, guys. I have questions for you. We can go back and forth. Okay.

Yeah.

Okay. So biggest Turn on Elizabeth, Dr. Laura. Humor more than me. We're on the same network.

No, I didn't say that.

No, you're not on the same network. You booted Dr. Laura.

We're on the same net. She's on a different channel.

Yeah. Oh, right, right, right, right. Okay. Sorry. I'm obsessed with that, by the way.

Laugh, humor, humor. For sure, for sure, for sure.

Biggest turnout.

Listening.

Okay. Biggest turnoff.

Biggest turnoff. Bad breath.

Unkempt fingernails.

Ooh, that's a good one.

Okay, Biggest deal breaker on a date.

Either one. Who ever won?

Rude to the waiter.

Someone who doesn't ask me one question.

Okay.

Biggest deal breaker. Wait, wait.

Turn on. I want to go back.

Okay, go back, Go back.

Getting fingered. Just kidding.

You're not kidding.

Don't even say that.

You like being fingered.

No, I love it.

Who doesn't love it? I think it's so fun, right?

It's the best.

I don't think you'll finger enough anymore.

They don't.

They do it wrong.

They do it wrong.

And they don't touch your breast enough.

I agree. I don't like when guys go. They just want a straight fuck. It's like, easy does it straight.

Wanna give you head. It's like, nah.

Right.

Okay. Oh, great question.

Yeah.

Side. No.

Yeah.

Is it okay to have a call a guy giving head when he's going down on a girl? Yeah, I think because he's. It's his head.

Yeah.

Who's like, no?

My boyfriend and I got into a debate about it. He's like, no, because it's referring to the head of the penis. I'm like, no, it's using your head.

Yeah. No, you're right. I think you say giving head. I've heard it used both ways.

Yeah.

I also like that it's very gender neutral.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Okay, number one, sex tip. Each one of you be with the.

Person that you're with.

Oh, okay.

Because I fuck so many people, and I find a lot of times people are, like, doing their moves, and I could tell. I can feel when you're, like, doing your moves and you're not with me and my. My personal body and myself. And, like, I can feel when I'm being like, look what I can do. Versus me being like, I'm learning about you in this moment.

Exactly. Because no one's paying attention. We're all in our heads during sex, so we're trying to pull out our move. And you feel that move.

I can feel it hard. I'm like, hello. Okay, I get it. You do this.

Yeah. No, so true.

I think, like, not getting out of your own way to, like, feed into, like, what it is that you really want.

Big sex. Was that your sex tip? Yeah. Yes.

For so long. Just, like, being afraid to ask, being.

Afraid to say it.

And it's, like, so fun to say it and do it.

Guys, also, I find, like, love if you. Especially younger guys now that I'm into younger guys, love when you're like, no, do this.

Yeah.

They're like, oh, my God. Like, well, you know, you want. You're a woman. It's like, yeah, I'm not 25. I can be, like, exactly what you're doing. Is it working for me? And I like it like that because.

I think when you get into your 30s, maybe, and hopefully people listening in their 20s can get it now, is that I used to assume that my partner knew more than I did. And they don't know anything. No. And they're so grateful when you give them a little. They're like, thank God I don't have to, like, flail around and try to figure it out.

Men are so adaptable in that way. Yeah. They were doing it.

Yeah. To their credit. Okay. A scent that puts you in the mood.

Sandalwood, Palo Santo.

Oh, God. I know you guys haven't answered that. Okay, thank you guys so much for hearing that. So retrograde. Elizabeth Cott, Stephanie Sombari. You have to check other podcasts that. So retrograde. And then they are watch the space because they are coming soon, and we.

Want to come back to talk about fucking.

Yeah, I can talk about fucking next time. I swear to God. Okay, thanks, guys, for being here, and.

Thank you so much.

I love it. I'm so happy for you guys. Congratulations. I'm great. I'm very proud of you.

To you as well.

Thank you. All right, guys, hope you enjoyed the show. I'll see you in 2019. What a great year it's been and I can't wait for the next one. Thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Sarah, Intern, Michelle, producer, Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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