Sex Klass With Pornstar Kayden Kross

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so drunk.

Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our podcasts, our videos, our blogs, our traffic's been going crazy. Our website crashed like three times. Whose website still crashes? But my website is crashing. But I appreciate everyone and thanks everyone for following me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, which is all sex with Emily. We've been getting crazy questions, crazy good questions on Facebook as well. And then every Wednesday from 12:30 to 1 Pacific Standard Time, I will be answering your questions on Twitter. So just hashtag askemily. Any sex and relationship question you have, I will answer for you. So tonight's show, I'm excited about our guests. We have Kadyn Cross. She's a well known porn star actress and she's very articulate, clever writer. Her Fleshlight is the bestseller that has top reviews. And she is sexy and hot. She just came in, has no makeup on, beautiful. And she writes short fiction interviews about the adult industry. So we're gonna be talking to her in a little bit. But first there's something I need to talk to you about because it's been on my mind lately and I'm just gonna get into it. Let's talk about the vagina.

I think there's some things you need to know because I believe it's gravely understood by legions of men. And when I clear up some of these issues, you will all be having better sex. So here's the number one thing you need to know about the vagina. You cannot stick foreign objects into her vagina. No matter how fun it might seem to you to stick your Xbox remote into her, it is a bad idea. Only your penis, fingers and toys are acceptable. Not a cucumber, as someone asked me today, because it could be dirty. You don't want to put anything dirty inside of her. So I say this because my new 23 year old intern came in today and said her boyfriend wanted to put a lollipop into her vagina. No, no. This is a very bad idea. Anything sugary into the vagina can cause a yeast infection and other problems.

Ants.

Ants, Exactly, Anderson. It could cause ants. And right. You never know what the hell could happen down there and it upsets your natural ph balance. So that whole nine and a half weeks thing or whatever you want to stick like whipped cream, not a good idea. And she get a yeast infection, guess what that means? She's closed for business. So how fun does that sound to you? Not very, I'm sure. So number two, just because you walked in her door and you might have a raging boner does not mean she's ready for intercourse. In fact, she's not even thinking about it. She's probably still finishing like a text to her friend or doing her laundry or something. But I repeat, she is not ready for six for sex. Because women cannot go from zero to 60 just because you Walk in and you're all turned on. We're not even ready yet. We need prolonged stimulation in order to reach the state of complete arousal, which is why we always talk about foreplay. It's not just because we think it's fun and it feels good. We actually need it and require it. So you can even send her a sexy text before you get there telling her what you want to do. Because we're more mental. The brain is what turns us on. So a text could be great, and that will get her thinking. Then when you see her, even though you're turned on and you're excited and you haven't seen her all week, you can grab her, you can start kissing her, touch her slowly, perform oral sex on her. I promise she'll like it. And then she'll be more turned on because we're not just a hole. You see, to stick your penis in. You have to preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey.

My next point, number three, lube. Lube is your friend. Lube has been horribly stigmatized so much. Oh, we bit about the lube because there's a problem or she's dry or there's some discomfort. But the truth is, women who reached for lube during the deed reported significantly higher levels of satisfaction pleasure during intercourse compared with women who didn't use it, according to a recent study by Indiana University. So it's not just me. The Indiana University people are very smart. Lube does help. It's like the extra slip and slide makes it more satisfying for women, and then they're able to have more orgasms. And that's fun. So don't hide your lube away when you gotta whip it out. When there's some kind of problem, Take away the lube stigma. Help me do that. And as a side note, if you'd like to go the anal route, you must use lube. And if you want to know why she won't have anal sex with you, it's probably because maybe the first time you didn't use lube and it was painful. So lube is the number one ingredient. Number one ingredient for successful backdoor sex. And then finally, number four, about the vagina. During arousal, her lady parts act like your man parts. You know, the clitoris, I'm sure because you've been listening to the show 2000 episodes or even just a few. I talk about the clitoris often, but it's that joy button. It becomes more engorged when she's turned on, so you can tell when she's getting turned on. And the labia minor contains erectile tissue that gets a little bit stiffer when things are heating up. So watch for those signs and you'll know that she's ready. So that's what I gotta say about vagina. Anderson, anything you'd like to add tonight? About the vagina?

No. I like those tips. Some good tips.

Did you learn anything new?

Well, I work on Loveline for 20 years now, so. No, I know all that stuff.

There's nothing new. Okay. Anderson, what's going on? How have you been?

Good. I had a good week and I shot my third short, which is extremely stressful up in Lancaster. Did a lot of illegal things. And then the following day. I'm still not sure if I should be admitting this, but when I bought a new couch about a year and a half ago, I sprung extra for the pull out, right? And the wife and I spent like two days on the pullout couch in front of the tv.

Oh, I loved.

Is that bad? Is that embarrassing?

No, it's staycation sex. Of course. I just. We just wrote a whole blog about staycations with the pull out.

In the living room, we just like bunk hunkered down like we're in a huge pizza.

It was like pizza boxes.

Oh, yeah. We ordered pizza and we caught up on all the game of moans.

I love that I call Game of.

Thrones, Game of Moments.

It was really romantic. I like that. I like that you just hung around and hung out with your wife.

It was really fun. And the dogs. The dogs kind of put a damper on it because they try and get in between. It's like, all right.

And then they want to leave the house and then that means you got to get out of the bed.

Yeah. It's not about you, it's about us.

Right, Exactly. Honey, I think that's sweet. I didn't.

I'm not gonna be embarrassed to admit that anymore.

But speaking of your film, I did meet your friend in the elevator today.

Oh, that's funny.

He said, hey, are you Emily? And I said, yeah. And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm Anderson. Do sound for him. We're friends.

Such a small world. It really. I gotta come over. He. He met one of your interns a couple weeks ago and he couldn't wait to call me up. He's like, so what's going on on the 11th floor with that sex shop up there? What's happening?

You can't even believe what goes on there. Everybody. Cuz they're touring people in the Office. And every time he goes by people, they're like, in that Sex with Emily, and they do, like a double take.

Do they just assume that it's like a porn show? Like you're making porn in there?

Well, okay, here's a funny story about that. So the other night, we have a party in our office. And it was like, some guy from the Doors. Rob Krieger? Is that his name? I'm not a classic, but he was, like, playing. There was, like a big. There was music and a big party.

He's fancy.

He's fancy. But now my office, they just have these parties sometimes because there's a guy in the office who does.

You know, you need to hire an armed guard with maybe like a rottweiler to just stand out in front of your door just to even add some more.

Come in. And they're like, hey, cuz, we just fix it up. You know, it's like we got, like, dildos everywhere. And it's very pretty. Office.

So, like, if you. When you go to the doctor's office and they have like, all the plaques on the wall, is it like that? But you got, like, dildos and stuff?

Dildos. Why don't you comment?

I gotta go.

Yeah, okay, but remind me to get back to your friend a moment because I have to tell you what people thinking I'm a porn star. So this guy who's like, office is like Kitty Corden of mine. And it was the night of the party, so we're all drinking and talking and. And he said to me, do you know. Do you know Nina Hartley? And I said, yeah, I've known her for a while. She's, you know, porn star. She's been on the show a long time. I said, I'm actually shooting a porn with her next week in San Francisco. And then he walks back in his office and he says to Lauren, my assistant, I didn't know she was a porn star. He's like, I thought she was a porn star, but then I wasn't sure. But I'm actually shooting a porn this weekend, but I'm not having sex. I'm not naked in it.

What does that sound like to everybody else? I know I have to.

Well, I wasn't thinking.

I'm like, oh, you're a doctor, for God's sake.

I know, but I didn't think to explain that I'm not getting naked. Which I could understand why he would think that I would be getting naked. But no, I'm doing a dinner scene with other sex educators.

No cucumbers. In the vagina.

No cucumbers, no nudity. But it was really funny. So back to your guy in the elevator. And then he got my number and he texted me and he said, hey, nice to meet you.

He does that. He's a networker. He's a networker.

Okay, so he's not like. Cause the girls in my office are like, oh, I think he likes you.

Oh, I'm sure he likes you as well. He's a Tinder guy. He's always on Tinder. He's single.

I wonder if I swiped left or right on him. I'm not sure.

So be careful with him. He's a really nice guy.

I was interested, but it was interesting.

What I'm saying is, he's a networker. He's in the system.

What does he want from me?

He's in the system.

He's in a flashlight or something. But okay, that was interesting. So I also have to tell you that I had a date last night.

You did?

Yes. It was a blind date that my friend fixed me up on real quick. What?

About four or five weeks ago, you had a blind date in here on the show?

Oh, yeah, my Tinder date.

How many dates have you had in between?

Um, I'd say one or two. Oh, with him? I went out with him one more.

Time with different people. How many different people have you had dates with?

Probably three. Two.

That's not bad.

But this guy. So I was fixed up with him by a friend, mutual friend. And I said to her, I said, did you tell him about me? And she said, no, I just told him your name and that you're a really cool girl and you should meet him. And he also works in the industry, right? Not talent, but other sides. So anyway, I'm thinking, okay, great. You know, like every day. I'm straight, I'm like, did you give him my last name? She's like, I think so. I'm like, okay. So he's Googled me, and this is gonna be a whole thing. So I walk in and meet him for dinner. It's a nice restaurant, West Hollywood. And we're sitting, talking, and I come to find out that he actually doesn't know anything about me. Nothing. Like, nothing at all. Which I always say, I hate when people like that. They can Google me and make all these assumptions. So it was interesting because I said, oh, I moved here from San Francisco. And he said, what did you do there? I said, I worked in politics first. So why'd you move there? I made a documentary. He's like, oh, so you're a documentary filmmaker? And then I was like, oh, my God, he really doesn't know. And then I started thinking, this is kind of awkward to get into the sex, you know? So then I said, well, yeah, I did that a while ago, but now I, you know, I started this podcast in my living room. And he just kept. He's like, I'm like, so you didn't Google me? He's like, no, I didn't know your last name. And then I told him all about that, and I think he was shocked a little bit. And a little. I think he was interested. But I can't decide now which is better if they know ahead of time or if I'm springing on them.

Sounds like less work for you if they know ahead of time.

Yeah, because then we spend a lot talking about that, asking questions, and why'd you get into it? And like, I'm interested in relationship, you.

Know, what if they. I think if they know before, and then you can talk them out of the gutter.

Right.

You know, because that's where they're gonna be when they show up.

Exactly. Right in the gutter. Because they're like, yeah, it was a good date. I liked him.

Oh, good for you.

Yeah. And. But he texted me today. He's like, let's hang out again. And he's not like a 24 year old. Like, but doesn't sound like that was fun. Let's hang out and, like, watch movies, go to the be. I don't know.

Just, you know, it doesn't sound like a good hook there.

Yeah, but would he, like, let's be friends and hang out. Cause hang out is sort of a friend thing.

No, no, no. He wants to. He wants to have sex with Emily.

Okay, just checking. Just want to get a guy's opinion. Cause I wasn't sure about the whole hangout thing.

Yeah. If he hung out with you and he just enjoyed himself, he wouldn't want to see you again unless he wanted to bang you.

Okay, good.

We're not looking for girlfriends. Sorry.

I know. Isn't it funny how sometimes. And last night. It's so funny. I got interviewed by, like, Cosmo magazine in the morning about first dates. Like, for an hour on the phone with him. What? The three things you should wear. The three things you should. Whatever. And then I'm leaving for my date, and I turn to, like, my interns, and I'm like, what do I wear? I. Nothing to wear. And I. Because I'm the expert. But then I don't know what to wear.

Wait, but Cosmo never has anything relevant or that makes any sense ever. As far as I can tell.

It was actually. Yeah, no, it was actually Shape. I'm sorry. I just messed up.

Okay, then that's all it was.

Shape. But I talked to Cosmo yesterday as well. But it was funny that I think to myself, why am I right now asking them when I'm the expert?

What's your take on Cosmo? Like when you're in line at the market and stuff and you see all those, like, 10 tips. Sex tips. Isn't it most of it just total bs?

Yeah. Or recycled. But I'm in it every month, so I can't say anything about it.

Okay, well, then stop there. But we have so many girls that call Loveline and they're constantly sticking their fingers up their boyfriend's butts because Cosmo tells them to. And that's like, not every guy wants that Cosmo.

Yeah, I guess they do. I don't even read it. I know that I'm in it, but I don't read it. But I think that Cosmo can be helpful for some women starting out. But no, I think a lot of it is just kind of. And I think it's not even really all about female sexual pleasure. It's about pleasing him, which only perpetuates the problems that a lot of women have with their sexuality because they're socialized to believe that it's all about the man's pleasure. So all those tips about pleasing men in Cosmo and other magazines are like that. It should talk more about.

That's what you're for. That's what you're for. Em.

So that's what I got. And I think we should bring in our lovely guest, Kaden Cross. She is fascinating because wait till you hear how she got started in the porn industry. Actually started stripping, kind of. A lot of women start stripping and they go into porn. But it's a very. It's like the best story I've ever heard.

I'm excited about her coming in because she was actually in here for the last 10 minutes and I heard her talking about a douchebag pony, which I've never heard anyone say douchebag pony before.

Well, that is interesting. She is fun. Hi, Kayden.

Hello.

Thanks so much for joining me tonight.

These are large headphones.

I know. That's what she said, right? Okay. No. Kayden. Hi. So Kayden. Kayden is Club Kayden. K A Y D E N.

Welcome to the show. And it's aedencross on Twitter, Kaden Underscore Cross. And you are an adult film star. You've won a bunch of awards, you're a great writer, your website, all those things. But the thing that I find that I'd like to start out with is how you actually got started in the business. Because I find this story to be amazing.

Yeah, we were actually talking about that before the show kicks off. Do you want the long version or the shorter version?

No, we've got time.

Okay.

Basically the interesting version.

Long story short.

I have a horse now. I've always had horses. My mom had horses. We grew up on horses. I started riding when I was like five. So fast forward, I'm 17. I was living on my own. I had a full time job at petsmart. I was going to school full time and I wanted to work with animals. And that's why I took the job at petsmart. You know, I take the job and then there's not actually like animals there. There were like fish in a tank and they wouldn't even let me feed the fish. There was no interaction, okay?

No interaction, not even with the fish.

I didn't qualify for the specialty department. And so I get this bright idea because it was in Sacramento and there's a, there's a fairground there called Cal Expo, right? And so they have the harness races. And I'm like, I'm gonna go work with horses. I'm gonna walk down there and get a job and I'm gonna do something. So I go down to Cal Expo and this guy, kind of sleazy, you know, he. He hires me on the spot. He's like, yeah, you know, come back tomorrow, 7am and we're walking and talking and we turn the corner and there's this really beautiful gray horse. And he's sticking his head out of the stall and he's like, hey, do you want that horse? I'm like, yeah, I do. Can I have that horse? And he's like, you can have that horse. And that's sort of a common thing on the racetrack. When a horse stops performing, they just cost money and they'll just unload them to whoever will take them. And so he gives me this horse and I'm literally, I'm 17, I'm standing there with the horse in a halter and lead rope, just holding the lead rope. And like, you walk outside and you're on a main boulevard, like there's nowhere to take it.

What do you think? You can't like throw it in your Car, right?

So I like, I called all these people and I call in some favors and I get the horse move and I never come back to the job because I'm afraid he's gonna take the horse back. I didn't know any better. I was like, oh my God, he was just doing that to hit on me. He's gonna take the horse back. I can't come back. And so I move the horse. So now I'm 17, paying rent, paying horse board, paying for school, full time, whatever, and I never come back to the animal job. I still want to work with animals. And so I get this idea to go be a trail guide at this other place where you lead people around on horses. And so I get that job over the summer. And there was this pony that they bought because they thought that he would be sort of a non intimidating thing for children. He's super cute and he was just like, I was telling him he was a douchebag, right? They get him there, he's super cute, and then he bucks and he kicks and he rears and he bites and he's an asshole. And he and I got along really well. And so they always had me riding him because I was small. I was like £80 at the time. And I rode this pony every day over the summer. And then summer ends, school starting again. I have to quit the job because I can only hold one job and the other one paid more. And so then a month goes by, I turn 18, and that same week my friend calls me and she's like, they put the big guy on the pony. They tried to train him. He fractured something. The vet bills cost more than the pony's worth. They're sending him to slaughter. And like, I'm crying and she's crying. It's this big thing. I already have one horse. I'm in school full time. I've got one job that pays like minimum wage at this point. I don't even know anyway, and so I'm like freaking out. And of course my roommate's a fucking guy and he's like, just go be a stripper. And yeah, I'm 18. I'm like, yeah, I'll go be a stripper.

Just one night.

I'll go make all the money I need.

Right, right.

And it seems like this great idea. And so I go in and I literally, yeah, literally in one night made all the money I needed to buy this pony, to pay for shipping, to get him to the port, everything in one night. Oh, my God. And so I pick up the Pony.

In one night. You made that mess in one night?

In one night.

And.

And I didn't even take my top off for the first four hours because I was so shocked.

Ever had you ever stripped before? Had been.

I was so. I'd never been into one. And I also. I wasn't allowed to go to, like, proms or anything, so I didn't know how to dance.

Well, your parents wouldn't let you?

No. Super shelter. I didn't know how to do it.

Okay.

I wouldn't take my top off in front of my boyfriend. Like, we were. We were having sex every day, but I wouldn't take my top off. I was, like, so shy, and. But I really. I didn't want the pony to die. I was like, this is a noble cause. Right?

Right?

And I. Yeah, I made all the money, and it was super scary. And then at the end of the day, I'm walking home, and I have, like, almost $1,000 in cash.

Cash.

I'd never seen that much money at once. And I'm like, this is great. I pick the pony up, I take him home. And my plan was to go back to the waitressing job the next day. And my shift was coming up, and I'm like, God, I don't want to smell like grease today. And I'm like, oh, but the strip club, that's, like, what I made in a month. I made that in a night. And so I went back the next day and the next day and the next day.

How did they hire you if you. I mean, you're beautiful and you're sexy.

They don't care if you can dance or.

They really don't, do they?

No, they look at your. I don't think they even made me, like, get into. Because I didn't have. I came in in sweats. They hired. I was wearing, like, a tight shirt, but I came in in sweats, and.

They just like, you're hired. And then did you get into. How long did you strip for?

Two years. I stripped for two years.

So then did you get into the dancing and take.

Oh, yeah. Within a few weeks, I was very. It looked like I knew what I was doing, but the first day, it was three stages before I even take my top off.

Oh, my God.

The DJ finally, like, put me in a corner.

It's stripping. Yeah.

He's like, you have to do this. And he's like, on the loudspeaker, and the people are like, take it off. Take it off. I'm like. I'm, like, shaking. I was so scared.

Oh, my God. That's. That's. That's a really good story. Most people are like, oh, you know, just make money for school or clothes. But it was a noble cause.

Well, the first day was a noble cause.

After that, you're like, but did you enjoy it? Did you get into it? Kind of.

I got into it after the first. Like, I was into it immediately in terms. I loved the attention. I loved doing the stages. I didn't feel confident that people loved me doing the stages for a few weeks because I was really just rigid and robotic and didn't.

Wow. Did your boyfriend come watch you or did you have problems?

I lied to my boyfriend.

Do you lie? You're like, I'm going to.

I told him I was a cocktail waitress there.

Okay.

Yeah. Because I had to explain why I was there and buying, like, these weird bikinis. I'm just waitressing. So that was my story. Until he came into the club or something. I'm like, on stage, I'm like, hi, baby.

And then did you break up?

No, he.

Whatever.

Yeah, he was not the type that would break up. You'd just, like, get mad and then get over there.

Okay, so you did that for two years and then. Is that when you got into porn?

Yeah, the porn thing. It was sort of gradual for porn. There is an agent who. He brought, like, Sunny Leone in and a number of Penthouse pets and all of that.

He.

His whole thing is he goes around to strip clubs and approaches girls. He thinks he. He could probably do some work with. With just solo modeling. And that was back when you could actually survive on solo modeling. And so he just approached me one day. He's like, hey, I think you could, you know, do Penthouse or whatever. And I was like, really? That's cool.

And then you were. Did you feel like you had this experience? You said you were rigid. Like, did you really open up sexually? Do you feel like you started to become more comfortable with your body?

It's weird for. I was not comfortable with my body, but it was extremely sexual. So it was one of those things where I'm like, yeah, don't look at me, but please, let's go have a lot of sex.

Right. Okay, that's interesting.

I was really, really kind of like, yeah, there was a dichotomy there.

So you've always been into sex, like, since you were young?

Oh, super, super sexual. And it's funny because I would be into things I didn't know were sexual because it was very sheltered. Like, I had these. I hate saying this. Because there's this other sort of assumption that's just not true. But it was almost a rape fantasy. Almost.

No, that's a cop. That's actually, like.

I don't like people saying, we all.

Know I was on some show the other day. Like, you can't say that, but it is true that the top fantasy for women is to be.

It's like a force thing.

Yeah.

And. And, yeah, I remember I used to always, like. I don't want to say get turned on because that's also not the right word. But I used to be really in, like, in the fairy tales when, like, the princess is taken and whatever. I was, like, really into that. And I remember my friends and I would like to play this game where we, you know, tie each other up and we're evil and. Yeah. And we're riding a black horse, of course, because black horses are evil and just that stupid, stupid crap. But you don't realize at the time that you're so excited about it because that sort of, like, fills a very immature fantasy. Right.

But it's still a fantasy for women because I think it's like the ultimate fantasy that you're being taken and that someone just has to have. Yeah. They cherish you and they want you so bad. Right. You know, the whole thing. So then when you were like. Do you remember, like, the first time you start you had an orgasm? Are you masturbated? Were you one of these?

Like, that's the other thing is I. Again, like, it's such a weird subject to tread on because it can be taken wrong quickly. But, like, I remember these sort of immature things that must have been orgasms looking back, like this sort of, like, wave and.

I don't know, like, I don't remember a first one. I just remember that they happened and you play games with your friends and.

I mean, it didn't happen to me. I was. I always joke. I'm like, oh, God. Are you one of those women who were, like, riding a horse when you were five and you had an orgasm.

But you probably weren't that. I think. No. I think if you're getting an orgasm from riding a horse, you're probably not riding that horse very well.

Well. Or riding a bike. No, because women.

Yeah. No, a bike.

Yeah, a bike. Now, I usually say bike, but I thought in this egg, I say something like that. But people are like, yeah, some women are very early orgasmic, and some women just aren't at all.

Yeah. And looking back, I was. And then there was, like, a point Where I guess I stopped playing the games before I figured out I had a vagina. And then there's. There's definitely time where I realized I had a vagina and there was an orgasm. I was like, what the fuck was that?

Awesome. I like that. Okay. You're like, I'm into that. Okay, that's good. So you've always. So you had been sexual. So then maybe opening up and doing the photography.

And the photography, I was again, robotic, stiff, scared. Didn't want to take my top off. Same thing.

And same thing, like with every single step with the stage, with the photography. Then it became a girl. Girl photography. Then it became my very first scene with vivid. And every single step, it was like starting over. Like, I'm robotic, I'm stiff, I'm scared. Ah. And then I get past that fe.

Right?

And suddenly it's really awesome.

It's like life, though the things that scare us are the things that propel us forward.

Right?

So, okay, we're gonna take some calls because we are getting some calls. And just so you know, everyone, we on this show, every Thursday night, 8:39, 30 Pacific Standard Time, you can call, ask your questions. 1-800-What is it?

393, love 1 9. What the hell? What is it?

1-800-L O V E 19 1.

How hard is that? Where. Thank you. You got that? 1-800-love 1. I want. Okay, let's take some calls here. Hey, Max.

Hey. How's it going?

Good. You're on Sex with Emily. Thanks for calling in. And with Kaden Cross.

Hi, I'm a huge fan. I just purchased your Fleshlight.

Oh, I love you. You're awesome.

That is awesome. Flashlights are awesome. It's almost like you've had sex with her.

I have a random question. My question was, so who's your favorite fairy tale princess and why?

I was always in love with Sleeping Beauty, and I think it's for the same. The same thing. She's. Again, I hate going there. She's this helpless, passed out. You know, I actually read the original fairy tale, and in the original fairy tale, the prince, like, has sex with her and then she has twins, but she's, you know, sleep the whole time. Then they come out. Like, it's much, much more dark and sort of definitely legal in the original version. But yeah, no Aurora. To this day, Aurora. I can't wait to see Maleficent. Just because that was like. That was my favorite. I thought she was the prettiest. I thought it was the coolest story there's of course a horse. There's a lot going on with Sleeping Beauty.

Exactly. Okay, Max, is that anything else we can do for you?

Yeah.

Are you gonna make any more porn, Kaden?

Because I've been on Twitter.

I know you have that Tumblr account, but you don't have any more porn anymore.

Yeah, no, I actually have a scene releasing with Manuel Ferrara next to month. It's my first anal scene in like almost. What is it in this decade? It's my first anal scene. It's a big deal.

Yeah.

So that's coming out soon and I'm also going to be shooting on 11 June, another hopefully groundbreaking piece of pornography. We'll see.

I'm sure it will be. So stay tuned. Max, thanks for calling.

Love you.

Thank you.

Bye. Yeah, he bought your flashlight. I love that.

I love people who bought my Fleshlight.

I know, I love flashlight.

No, like Fleshlight makes me wish I had a penis, like just for a day. Just because I'm so curious.

No, I just said that in my last show. I was like, if I had a penis for a day, I'd get a few blowjobs, I'd have sex and then I would just sit down with a few Fleshlights because I want to know how they compare. Right, because your flashlight. So just explain what a flashlight is. It's a mold, a Fleshlight.

It's like this latex. It feels like flesh. It's this latex flashlight shaped thing and you have sex with it. Supposedly. It's like the closest thing to the real thing that's ever been put out there.

Right.

My. My fiance, he's. He's been in porn for 17 years now. He's one male performer of the year. Like five times. He's had a lot of sex. And the first time he had any contact with the Fleshlight. He doesn't mess around with toys. Like he's actually trying to not have it. He's like, dude, I'm done.

Yeah, right.

And he was on this live sex show and Fleshlight was sponsoring something. They sent over a few flashlights and the director right before he goes on, he's like, just play around with this for a minute. And he had two girls and in the Fleshlight and he's like, ah, he's all mad because it got sprung on him last minute. And so the two girls are doing their thing and he picks up the Fleshlight just because it's like this obligatory thing and he puts it on his dick and then like two seconds later, like pushes the Girls, he's like, I want to watch you guys kiss. And he's just sitting there like making them kiss while he's flushing.

Right?

I mean, he's like, I don't want the girls.

I mean it looks like it feels. It feels amazing. I'm dying apple. And so yeah, men can use it to masturbate. They can use it for stamina training, all that stuff. But your Fleshlight Kading Cross, buy it. You can go to sex with emily.com fleshlight check it out and support her and her vagina.

Yeah, support my vagina.

Support her vagina that she molded just for you to have a goddamn flashlight. Okay. Which are awesome and we love flashlight, so that's cool. It's so popular though. Why do they. My heart's like one of those best.

Well, I mean, vaginas are popular in particular.

There's other porn stars do what?

Oh really?

Is it like the cool kid. My Fleshlight, I think you're it won sex toy of the year at the sex awards.

I'm saying I've had other porn. I'm sorry, but there's other porn stars whose vaginas have been molded and yours is.

I'm glad mine's popular.

I know.

I'm a big fan of it.

Of your vagina.

My fleshlight and my vagina.

Okay, so my question for you is going back to your boyfriend, your fiance is also important. So have you guys done scenes together?

My first scene was with him. He's the only person I work with now.

Yeah, sort of.

What's funny is like I said, robotic, scared, whatever. My first scene, I was so bad that he actually wouldn't speak to me or work with me for three years following.

No way. That's a great story.

It was so bad and he hated me. And what happened was I was with Bid and Contract. Then I went to Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve never just their paths never crossed. So I didn't see him and he just was refusing to work with me anyway. And then I go to Digital playground and he's known as being like, he can really pull a good scene out of a girl who's maybe mediocre. And so digital, you know, they didn't know anything really about me. And so they're like, oh, we're gonna put her with him because he could make anyone look good. And so they try to book us together and he's like, no, I don't like her. She's terrible. And so, so then they, I guess they sweet talked him and they told him That I really wanted to work with him, and I was begging for him, and I'm a new person. They gave him this whole speech. I had no clue what happened.

Wow.

And finally they, like, he's like, okay, fine, I will show up. But if she gives me even the slightest bit of attitude, I'm walking off set. And they didn't tell me any of this. And so he shows up, and, like, I remember he walked in the room, and I'm in makeup, and I see him, and I. I have no idea up until this point that he hates me, that he's not working with me. I have no clue.

I'm like, hi.

Remember me? Yeah. And he's like. And so he walks in, and I remember looking at him, and I hadn't gotten a good look at him, really, because I was so terrified that first day. I remember he showed up that day, and I was like, you're good looking. And now I'm gonna go back into my little, like, tiny world and freak out because I don't know if I look good and I don't know if I'm gonna make weird noises, and I don't know if I'm gonna fuck up. And what if I have sex wrong and I just have. Maybe I've been doing it wrong my whole life. I don't know. I was so scared. And so now I'm comfortable and whatever. And he shows up. I'm like, God, he's hot. And I remember him sitting in a makeup chair. I'm like, how did I not know this before? How did I miss that?

Oh, my God.

And we ended up having this explosive sex scene. Like, so good.

What happened?

Like, what so good? Just our chemistry was, like, just phenomenal.

Oh, my God.

Amazing chemistry. Like, the cameras cut. We kept going. And I remember the director at some point because he'd never really heard of me in the industry until then. I'd been in for three years. And he's like, do you always have sex like that? And I was like, I guess not. But maybe now I do, right?

Wow. And then did you instantly start dating after that?

No. No. What's funny is he was actually in a relationship at the time, and so was I. And so it was one of those things where we had this great chemistry and we ended up working together at least every other movie.

If not, probably because they were like, okay, this is.

They constantly would put us together, but we never saw each other off set because we had our individual relationships. And then mine ended, and shortly after his ended, and then. And before you know it, we're dating. And I think within. Within like 24 hours of coming over to his house that first time. We were like, attached at the hip and never, never separated again.

How long have you been together?

Two years now. And we have a baby girl. And.

Congratulations. How old?

She's four months.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You just had a baby four months ago? Yeah.

It hurt.

Wow. I know, but you look amazing. I know, but you look amazing. I'm like, look. Wow. Congratulations. What's her name?

Her name? Well, I actually don't tell on other. We call her Peanut. Peanut Butter.

She's probably is a little peanut. I love that you met him in porn. I mean, so he gets what you do and you get what he does. There's no issues there. Is there though?

Like, you know, it's funny, he had never been jealous before and neither had I because, you know, I was dating someone else who's male talent porn before him, and. And we really deal with jealousy.

Wow.

It's weird. Like, I stopped doing scenes with other guys because of him, and then I stopped doing scenes with other girls because of him.

Get jealous. The girl scenes too.

He got. Yeah. And he did. It was more of a like, in jest thing. Like, he wasn't. He wasn't excited about scenes with now him.

But can he do scenes with other girls? Yeah.

It doesn't bother me in the same way.

Okay. Some guys just can't. They like.

Yeah.

See it. They can't. They can't get out of their mind.

I don't know.

For him, I don't know what to.

Do for him, it's such work. Like, I see him. I actually had to make him stop because he kept just canceling scene after scene after scene. I was like, dude, you're gonna get a bad reputation. You need to show up if you take the scene. Like, he just. Oh, my God. I don't feel threatened by him going to sex.

Right, Exactly. It's funny that you're cool with it, but a lot of guys, they're like another penis. I can't deal with it, so I totally get it. Okay, I have to give a little shout out now to our sponsors. I just want to say that I want to thank everyone for listening to the show, and I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve. I also want to give you the best show possible. So I appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. So Fleshlight, the number one sex toy for men, wouldn't it Be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even when you don't have a partner. The Fleshlight, the most popular sex toy for men and especially Kading Cross's Fleshlight. It simulates the sensations of sex and it was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. And many people think it even better than sex. And I'm not saying that you're not going to want sex again. But also the Fleshlight stamina training unit helps you practice lasting longer, become a better lover. Plus you'll experience some of the most mind blowing orgasms of your life. So I'm told. We don't have penises. We don't know, but that's what we hear. And have you ever fantasized about having sex with your favorite porn star? Well, now you can. Like Kading Cross and there's a few others available. But just check out hers and go to sexwithemily.com fleshlight that's sexwithemily.com fleshLight check it out. Okay. Also another one of our sponsors. You know how when you're just kind of drawn to someone and you're not exactly sure why it could. Because of pheromones. A pheromone is a chemical animals produce that attracts other animals. Crazy Girl makes pheromone infused products that make you feel and look great. Some of my favorites, they're wannabe dazzling body lotion and body mist. I swear to God, every time I wear it, I get swarmed by men and women wanting to know why I smell so good. And Crazy Girl products make great gifts. They have amazing fun packaging and super reasonably priced. So you gotta check them out. They do shaving creams and oral sex gels, warming heart massagers. So if you want to look and feel your best, I promise you will love all their products. Crazy Girl Intimate products. Check it out. Crazygirlproducts.com use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off. That's crazygirlproducts.com. check it. Hello? Okay, back to Kayden. I love your story. I love your story about your guy. I love the event on the scene. I love this. Okay, let's take some other calls here though. We've got some people waiting. I'm gonna take line one here. We're gonna talk to Derek in Pennsylvania. Hey Derek.

Hi, how you doing?

Great. Thanks for calling. Sex with Emily. You're out with Emily and Kading Cross. What's going on tonight?

Well, I had a question. Like my girlfriend, like when we have sex, she cons constantly Complains that I last too long. And before I got with her, like, honestly, I didn't think that was. I think that was possible. I mean, all the other girls I had sex with, they were like, you know, happy that I last as long as I with her.

It's like, how long do you, like.

Kind of like, I don't know, it's something different, something I've never heard of in my lifetime.

Well, how long do you last?

Well, on a given day, normally it's an hour and a half. But recently I've been lasting like two hours before I even, you know, even come relatively close.

Wow. Okay. Yeah. So it sounds like you have a case of delayed ejaculation. That's like. That's what it's called instead of, you know. You've heard of premature ejaculation? This is delayed ejaculation, where it just takes you a lot longer to ejaculate. And it's. It's. It's. It's common. I mean, has. It's been this way ever since you started having sex? Intercourse. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. But none of the other women ever didn't bother them or. It didn't. I mean, they just went for you for two hours. Right. Well, I mean, the truth is, it's not. I mean, it's not really a problem. It's like, it's common for a lot of men. How about when you masturbate? How long do you last?

That's probably a little bit shorter. That's probably like 50 minutes.

Okay, so you gotta, like, really carve out some time in your day to masturbate.

Yeah.

The thing is, what about if she performs oral sex on you? Same thing.

Oh, oral sex. I don't come at all.

Okay.

Like, it takes days. Like a woman, I would feel bad, like, Right. Well, luckily.

Luckily that.

Well, my girlfriend, now, she does it. But, like, I just simply tell her after like, 30 minutes. That's good enough. Because I know it's gonna take a decade, but all my other girlfriends, they would be. They'd be doing oral sex on me for like two hours until I'd be like. Yeah.

So they couldn't talk and they had locked off. Kaden, have you ever come across this before? I guess in porn, it's like a good thing if you can't.

Well, I mean, in porn, when you come across that, it's usually because they're using some sort of medical aid and they're not actually physiologically aroused and that's why they're not coming.

Right. So Derek Are you on any medication now or have any health problems? Health issues?

No.

Okay. And how old are you?

I'm 20.

Okay. You know, I have to say we get calls. I get hear from this all the time from people. Deleted. I'd say that, you know, it's. She's bummed. You know, maybe you just have sex with her until she's done and then you can finish off later. Does it bum you out to stop before you have an orgasm? Not.

Not really, because I know it takes me a lot longer than it takes her.

Yeah, I mean, an hour and a half.

Like, her. She, like, for instance, like a week ago when we had sex. I mean, I work every day, so I don't really get the chance to do it because either she's sleeping when I get home because I work overnight.

Oh, okay.

I'm actually at work right now. I'm actually on break, but I hope they're not listening.

Okay.

Like, I. I don't know. I mean, she normally. When we have sex, when I normally go for like an hour until I'm like, okay, that's good. Because by that time, she comes like six or seven times. And it's like, I feel bad because.

I guess I feel bad because I can't make it quicker.

Right? I mean, don't.

I mean, the thing is, nothing I can do.

No, there's nothing you can do about it. There really is. I mean, you could go talk to your doctor and see if there's anything, but typically, there's just some guys that this is the way it is for them and. So do you love your girlfriend? You like your girl, You've been with her for a while or. New girlfriend?

Yeah. Yeah, I've been with her for two and a half years now.

Okay. So, I mean, I could see that. I could honestly. An hour and a half, maybe on the weekends, but like, all the time. An hour and a half could be. Could be a long time. So as long as you're cool with her having an orgasm and stopping and then maybe, you know, finishing later on your own or, you know, you keep going and masturbate by a fleshlight, that could help you.

Flesh lights are great.

That might have become good, you know what I mean? Like, then you could make sure that you finish yourself off while she sits and watch TV or makes dinner or something, you know? No, I mean, I'm serious. It is. I've heard this before, and it can be frustrating for women because we also want you to have your pleasure, too.

You know, one thing I actually have A friend who went through a phase where he just. For him, it was more like a depression thing. And he just wasn't that into sex. But one thing he did was he had a plug in Hitachi that he'd use in the basement. And he went from eh to yeah, I'll masturbate tonight.

Wow. Well, that's true. A lot of men like the feeling of vibration. Have you ever used any toys?

No.

On your balls? Testicle. It could feel.

Really used it right on, like under his dick. Oh, he did hold it. Yeah. And just something about the increased that's stimulated.

I've never heard that. I know that a lot of men like vibration. Like, that's why I always tell couples to use sex toys together, because you think it's just for women. But a lot of guys like it too. But that's not a bad idea, Derek. You could try a. A vibrator sex toy, like on your. Rub it up and down. Yeah. I mean, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a great one. It plugs into the wall. It has more power. It's like the Mack truck of all vibrators. It's actually called the Magic Wand, not Hitachi. Or there. You know, or there's like the vibrating rings. Maybe a vibrating penis ring. If you go to goodvibes.com and you can see. Or just go to my page sexwithemily.com and click on Good Vibes, you can see all my favorite toys and use coupon code Emily, I believe, and you get a discount. And it is Emily. But look, try buying some vibrating rings.

Or to anything that might play with the prostate. I mean, sometimes it's just a matter of finding that thing that really.

That gets you. Have you ever had anything in your.

Bum? Bum. Does it interest you at all? Probably not yet, but it might feel good. But there's a lot of men who have. It's like the male G spot. It might feel good.

Derek, have you ever tried gay porn?

Oh, stop. He's not gay.

I definitely don't swing that way. That's not that. That wouldn't even catch my interest.

I get it. Don't listen to Anderson.

But what I'm saying is the prostate's different. It's.

It's just the one more thing is different. And I know this might. You're 20. Whatever. But there are a lot of men who do experience, like, incredible orgasms from having their prostate stimulated. So your girlfriend could use a finger.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, I know the prostate, you know, does play a Big role in everything. But being that they just made it legal in my state for gay marriages. That just kind of, you know, kind.

Of makes you nervous. Okay.

Freaks me out a little.

Okay, I got it. But they're not gonna arrest you. But I get it. You can just try to go buy a toy and play around and explain to your girlfriend that you understand. And if you want to go to your doctor, talk to him. But I don't think there's anything wrong with you. But just try some other things. Like if you. If you do watch porn, is there anything important that gets you there? Maybe you could kind of bring some of that into your sex life. Some of whatever it is that turns you on that really gets you there. But I would just say you have to make concessions with her and be like, okay, I'll go for half hour. Because maybe sometimes an hour, but sometimes, like, you just can't go for an hour and a half. Right. As a woman.

Yeah. Once you basically have hit that number of orgasms, your body's gonna have you the arousal.

Yeah. So I think you just kind of gotta compromise here.

In your guys personal opinion, does it.

Hurt to go longer?

It does.

Once your body stops being aroused, it does hurt.

It does hurt because you dry up. Yeah. I mean, you use lots of lube. Hopefully you use lube. But I think that you should definitely. I mean, that will help her if you keep adding. Even if she's wet. It helps to add lube to the situation. But yeah, it does hurt. She's not lying to you. It can hurt after a while. When we're done, we've had our orgasm, we're like, we're done, we're out. You know, it is when you have your orgasm and you want to like, roll over and go to sleep. So. Yeah. Yeah. But I think you're okay, Derek. Just talk to her about it. Say you called in and it's cool, it's normal. And then you just go with her sometimes, maybe once a week, you'll go longer. So I think you'll be okay, Derek. You're totally fine. It's normal.

Okay.

Okay. Have a great night. Thanks for calling.

Yep, you too.

Some guys come too quick. Some guys can't because they hired long enough. The whole thing. I'm sure you've stayed there. So do you feel like there's a lot of men in porn or they do, they take stuff?

Some do. I mean, if you think about it, you're talking about a situation where you're surrounded by like 15 other dudes and you're expected to be, like, really turned on by the one chick in the room.

Right?

So, yeah, some do. And also just with what's expected, they have to do this, the stills. And you have to be in your weird position on like your marble staircase with like a bale of hay.

And it goes on for so long.

Hundred degrees because the AC turned off. Yeah, it's. It's really works against you. And so guys will, you know, pop Cialis or Viagra or something.

Yeah, why not? Keeps you going. So what have you learned? How long have you been in porn now?

I started in 2006. The end of 2006.

Okay, so you. So what do you think you've learned about your own sexuality or sex? How's your sex life expanded in these years?

Oh, God.

Well, first of all, you've always been sexual, you said.

I think it was actually crazier before porn. Yeah, it's like I got into porn, I was like, gotta be corporate now. No, that's so funny.

That's ironic.

God. There were just some situations that I think I would have been absolutely against just based on the description of what they were. And then in the moment when I tried them in adult, either because the other person brought it in to keep himself going, or because it was written in for whatever reasons, if. Whatever reason, if it came up and I tried it, a lot of things actually were fun. Even if it was just that one time with that person.

Like, what? Give me example.

For example, I don't really give a flying shit about feet. Like, feet are feet to me. They are part of the body. They go on the end of your legs. I don't care. But there was this one performer who had a major foot fetish. And I remember I'm doing a scene with him once, I'm wearing fishnet stockings and he takes my whole foot in his mouth and he just like, he's like all over my feet and I'm like, can feel good when he's going for it. I'm like, oh, this must look good on camera. And then he gets in, I'm like, oh, okay. Okay.

Feels good, right? It's another ratchet zone if they touch you. Yeah.

And then like there was another situation where we were doing this giant, like, big budget movie for Adam and Eve. And they come to me and they're like, okay, we know you only do, you know, your basic boy, girl, whatever, but we really want you to do like three guys in this scene all at once. And I'm like, nah, you know, I'M pretty new with this, and I kind of want to, like, spread my career out over a few years. And if I do this now, what do I do next?

Right?

And then we go back and forth, and I'm like, okay, listen, you can have two other guys in the room jacking off, and I will have a standard boy girl scene. And so they're like, okay, cool. We set it up, and we go to do the boy girl scene. And then I started. I'm like, watching these guys jack off. This is kind of hot.

Oh, so you get into okay.

And I'm like, okay, this is actually kind of cool. And, you know, I'm looking around and. And I'm like, okay, okay, this is neat. And there was something about just, like, this adoration for these guys to be just jacking off while you're having sex right next to you.

Right.

And one of the guys was a guy that I worked with typically, who was jacking off. I just sort of, like, pulled him into the seat, reached out, and grabbed him. Can you improvise?

They're probably happy.

They're not gonna be like, no, I'm not having sex with you today.

And you pulled him in.

And I'm sure in the back of his mind, he's like, that's an extra paycheck. No, like, Right.

Exactly. When you do the actual. Right. So that's because you're so. You're more open now. What about girl and girl scenes? You do those as well?

Yeah, no, actually, I think I'm gonna be doing a girl girl scene pretty soon. I think. I think we're venturing back into that. Okay. We're comfortable with this again.

Okay, good. Good.

Yeah. With girls. I'd had one experience with girl with a girl before that was like, a threesome thing, and she, like, kicked my boyfriend out. She decided she didn't like him, and it was a thing. But I remember that particular time, I was, like, 18. She was someone from. From the club that I brought home, and she was really pretty. And it was one of those things where she was just pretty, but there was nothing more for me. It was more like, I just want to try this to see what happens. And I got into it because it was unique, but not because it was into her. It was more just like, this is freaky for me at my level. This is above my level. And I never did it again because I just wasn't into girls. But one thing I learned, it's because I like the boy girls. I like the butch girls.

Right. You want to be dominated.

I want to be dominated. I want to be the girl. I want the other girl to be the boy, and I want her to look like a boy, act like a boy, dress like a boy, talk like a boy. And that's so hot to me.

So those the kind of scenes that you mostly do?

No, no, no.

That's not actually.

But you realize that's what turned you on.

That's what I figured out.

Okay.

And so, you know, like, that's another thing. I never would have known that without porn. I wouldn't have known about feet without porn. If someone just in my personal life had said, oh, I'm gonna put your foot in my mouth, I would have been like, you weirdo hot.

Right? Exactly. But do you feel that? So now are you with women then in your own personal life ever? Do you guys have three sons?

We are monogamous on my end and monogamous offset on his end right now.

Okay.

So no, but like, I've been with butch women. Offset more than once. In fact, the most butch women I've been have been offset because they're not very common in adults. At least not with the kind of shoes I was being.

So now when you're with these butch women, are they, are they just performing on you or are you also performing on them?

No, it's both ways.

Okay. Yeah, but they're just dominating you.

Well, not even so much the domination, just more like they're very male.

Right.

They're men without the physical vagina. Yeah, exactly.

So do you have any good tips for performing oral sex on a woman that you think people treat it like.

A tiny penis and vice versa for performing or treat it like a giant clit? Um, one thing I'm proud of is I remember the first, like, gold star.

There should be many things.

No, no, the first, like, gold star lesbian I got to hook up with off camera. I remember. So I was like super into this one. And it finally gets to that. And I think she, like, she knew that I'd never really been with a full on lesbian ever.

Right.

And I think she assumed that I was just performer. I did it for the camera. I didn't actually know what I was doing. And I finally talked. I'm like, no, no, let me go down on. You know. And I remember I got her in like 30 seconds.

No way. What did you do? So, okay, this is what I'm asking for. These are the tips.

I wish this was like a visual thing. Okay, so imagine, take your index finger and point it at yourself. Okay.

Okay.

You put curl your tongue.

So the tongue is under your index finger just a little bit. And then you create a circle so your upper lip is on it. And then you suck into a fluttering.

Motion with your tongue on the clitoris. Oh, wow.

Yeah. As you create a suction video.

You gotta do a video.

It works every time.

We're doing a.

And I learned that actually from male talent who knew how to do it, who did it to me.

So your clitoris is in your mouth, and you're fluttering at the butterfly. Okay, everyone check out my website for the video of this. Okay?

Here, give me your finger.

Oh, she's gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it on your finger.

Oh, yeah, that feels good.

Oh, I'm the only man in the world that gets to enjoy.

Once you get the session going, it works.

That's really cool. But you can't start with that, right?

You can.

You could just start with that.

Yeah, like, you can. Like, obviously you want him to be, like, already pretty aroused to start with, but I found when a guy has done it to me, when I haven't been aroused, I get it very quickly. Like, the feeling's immediate. The sensation's there.

So I don't. It's like a butterfly. It's like a fluttery. Okay, we're gonna show video because I can't even explain that felt good on my finger. So I can only imagine.

It feels amazing.

Yeah, I need to. I need to.

No, I learned this from male talent. They know what they're doing.

Like, everyone's coming to the window now to look at, like, what's happening. That is great. Okay, so then you must have a. Great.

And the other thing. Well, here's the other thing. You also.

Here.

Oh, little teeth. Yeah.

You kind of, like, scrape the teeth back and forth too. Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

Could you do it again for camera?

Yeah, camera is here. Okay. We're gonna videotale.

Ah.

That was the first thing.

The camera can't see anything I'm doing.

No, we're taking pictures of that. Okay. Wow. So what about your blow job tips? Because you must have those too.

Blowjob tips. God. The biggest thing. And men do this. It's both ways. Like, people start doing oral, and they'll maybe hit the right chord, and then they'll change their tempo.

Right.

So blow job. Like, you're building and building and building, but don't change. Just slowly increase your rhythm without changing the tempo or changing the technique. Because once the technique hits the chord, you're just riding the wave to the end.

Okay. So your rhythm stays the same.

Your rhythm, for the most part, don't change what you're doing. Just very, ever so slowly increase it. And you can feel for. Most every guy's different. But in my experience, a lot of guys, they'll swell the skin slightest bit when they're close to coming, or you'll feel them flexing, you'll hear the breathing change. You can tell when they're going to come.

When they start doing that, that's when you increase it just a little bit. Another thing I've found is you want to have something going over the head, whether it's your tongue, your upper lip at all times. Well, just in the motion, something needs to come up over the head. That's where the sensitivity is. And it needs to somehow be. The head needs to touch something. The problem with a lot of blow jobs is you create like this balloon where there's the lip, there's the mouth.

Right.

That's wrapped around it. But then there's like this hole. There's cavity inside your mouth. And the head's not touching anything.

So you could use your tongue, though.

Yeah. And the head's a sensitive spot. That's what you need to hit. And so that's a big one. I mean, obviously you want it to be as wet as possible.

Right? Always has to be wet. Sometimes I'm like, my mouth is. I gotta take water, like. Yeah. See, Porch is always excited. They have so much saliva.

Well, they push it way down. You get thick saliva. Deep throating.

Yeah.

All the saliva's in the back, so that's where you get it.

Got a deep throat to get the saliva. But the thing with deep throat, do you want to use fake, like these fake blood? Do you use fake saliva? Important sex?

No.

I'm just like, how the hell did you get that much saliva? Yeah.

No, the thing with deep throating, that I think a lot of people do, like, they see these porn movies, like, oh, that's how you do it. Shark attack. But it is a. It's a shark attack. There's teeth, you know, it's a lot of dicks just don't smoothly fit straight down the throat. And girls are like, just like plumb. They'll just like fall down on the dick and it hits all these other things on the way in. And I think that's really painful for a lot of guys. But because of the visual of it, they're like, oh, put up. Or they don't lose the blow job by complaining. Right, right.

I got it. Those are good tips. What about the balls?

The balls? If you're gonna do something with the balls, it's like the lightest touch. I like to spread my five fingers. Like, if you're gonna dribble a basketball and you bring them in. The lightest touch.

Yeah.

And you just, like, repeatedly if you do this underneath. But really what I do is I. I like to go for, like, just the outhole, the. The butthole.

Right. Because don't you find a lot of men are sort of to go in.

If they don't let you go in, going around, they'll do that. They like that, in my experience, better than the balls.

Wow. Yeah. Because not every guy. Like, I have, like. Like a post traumatic balls disorder syndrome once. Not disorder. I think I, like, touched a guy's balls too hard or I kicked it, and then I never touched him for years.

And I think that's the place where the most variety.

Yeah.

Like, most guys are like, I like this. I don't like this. When it comes to balls, you get every piece of the spectrum. I've met guys who want you to, like, stab them with high heels, and I've met guys who are like, if you so much as, like, touch a feather to them, I'll hit you. Like, that's how different guys are.

So true. No, I got it. Those are all great tips. I guess we should take Steve from Michigan, who's been holding for a long time, and he's from my home state. Hey, Steve.

Hey, Emily. Oh, my gosh. Between hearing your voice on the podcast and what you guys are talking about now, I'm barely containing myself.

I wanted to thank you so much. You answered my email last week. I felt like a rock star about the cholines cleaning with Chanel Preston.

Yeah. Good. I'm so glad. Are you on speaker? Can you get off speaker, you think?

No, I'm not on speaker.

Okay.

Can you put some furniture in your house before you call?

No, you're just echoing. But I'm glad I answered your question last week. So what can we have you with tonight?

I'm at work. I'm actually going outside right now.

Are you in Michigan right now?

Yes, I am.

You know that I'm from Michigan.

Yes, your hometown.

That's it. I love it. My home state. Okay. Yes. So what's the. How about tonight? How can I help you? How can we help you tonight?

You got on the subject with Chanel about douches and the chemicals that were in them.

Right.

I'm talking about keeping the colon clean, but for the girls. Now I like to please them. What other than the douche should they use for cleaning if the chemicals are no good? You kind of got me kind of curious.

I've seen the chemicals that come. This is all for Kaden.

I'm gonna give the best tip I have ever discovered in the history of good tips. Alright. And it's gonna sound weird and it's actually sort of hard to deal with at first.

I'm ready.

Okay, first of all, douches, you're washing out good bacteria, you're messing up the balance. And they're really. Vaginas don't need to be clean. They self clean. All right? But when they're doing a lot of things and maybe having a lot of sex, they can sometimes get tipped out of whack. Now that becomes a ph balance. The thing that fixes ph every time within four, four hours is mixing baking soda with water and drinking it. That's all you have to do. I swear by it.

Men and women mix baking soda water.

I've met how much baking soda, yeast infections, bacterial, like all that stuff, you're back to normal.

Really? After just drinking? After how long?

Within four hours.

Wow.

No matter what, I can, I can clear.

And then you go in the bathroom and it's all out.

It doesn't matter.

Wow. Yeah.

Guys and girls I've met, I knew a guy who, because he was male talent, he, he used to always get little yeast infections on the end of his dick. He would drink baking soda and water and it would fix it like that.

Wow. I've never really.

And it's not even just for genitalia, if you have like a ph imbalance that creates any sort of problems with your skin. Wow. Anything? Baking soda mixed with water, drink it, it naturally rebalances you.

A cup of water. How much baking soda?

A teaspoon, like a half a tablespoon of baking soda in just like the bottom. I drink as little water as possible because I just want to get it over with. Rose. It's like drinking salt water.

Can you add some sugar to it? No, probably not. Oh, the sugar's bad right away.

Yeah, no, but it's disgusting.

But God, it works. But it works. There you go. Steve, just do a shot of baking soda and water.

Gotcha.

Thank you. And your candles are amazing. Just so you know. I've gotten.

You got a candle, you got an Emily and Tony candle.

Oh, heck yeah, babe. Oh my gosh. They amplified my life.

Okay, tell me why, Tell me how. I want to hear the story real Quick. About how you use the candle.

The best way I found the seduce a girl as a massage. Okay. And my handles just heightened it. I can give a great massage, but now the candles with the scent and.

The way the beeswax feels. Oh, my gosh.

The girls are all asking, what is that? You know, I know that candle wax on them. And then when they feel it, they go, oh, that's amazing.

Yeah, it's warm, it's oil. It's not waxy. That's. They don't get. Oh, my God, I love to hear that. So the women do freak out. I just got an email from someone who's like, you saved my sex life with these candles, so. Oh, I'm so glad to hear it.

You didn't save it, but you actually took it up to the next level or a level above that.

Oh, Steve, you're like my favorite person in the world right now. Thank you so much. You made my night. Love you. Except for Kaden kind of made my night because she sucked on my finger. But you, secondly, made my night. Thank you so much for calling in.

Thank you.

Enjoy the candle out there.

I'm buying you dinner and a car like I said in my last email.

Did you say that you buy me a car because I need a new car? Okay, let's talk. Email me again tomorrow. Bye. So I have one for you. I have a candle line called massage candles and I brought one for you. EmilyandTony.com use coupon code Emily and you get 20% off. But people have heard me talk about that.

I'm gonna take this home and he's gonna be like, now you have to give me massages. It's gonna turn into just massages.

He can give you one, but they, they, you know, massage candles. Right? It's warm oil and it's all vegan.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, the aromatherapy, you'll like it.

It's good.

I brought you a little present. Okay, well, we have a few minutes left and I'm trying to think. There's. Okay, so do anything coming up that you people can find.

Well, there's the, there's the scene, obviously, that I'm very excited to be releasing. It's. Is it my first scene? It's my first scene back since having. Since, like, being off for all those months. Yeah, it's.

I, I so sure it'll be great.

Anyway, it was, you know, him, it was for him. He shot it. You know, it was our little concept. I mean, I'm not, it's not like, super conceptual. It's in our bedroom. But it's a great scene.

What. What happened?

What we did was he. He has a series called Manuel Ferrara Raw. And basically all he does is create what looks like private sex tapes and release them and whatever. And so he decided to do evil anal Raw. So it's just private sex tapes that are anal. And so he comes to me. He's like, okay, I know you want to do a scene. You want to be back in the game. I was like, I want to be back in the game. And he brings in. He has his own sex toys and mold of his. And he brings in his own sex toy, and he gives it to me, and he's like, we're gonna use my sex toy and my dick on you now.

Wow.

I'm like, okay, let me just get ready for that.

So he used. Okay, got it. So you like Double Penetration?

Well, yeah. I mean, there's really not, like, a ton of room for all of that, but we.

Because he's a large penis. How big? How big?

God, like, I can't wrap my hand around it. And that's already pretty.

So he's got the girth and he's.

Got girth and length. Yeah.

And he's hot.

And he's so hot. And he's French. There's this accent, but he's half Spanish. So there's like, this moodiness. It's.

Oh, my God, I love it. I love your life. And then a porn star. I really. I regret it every time. Okay. No. So people can find you Club Kaden K A Y D E N. And then your Twitter is Aiden underscore cross and go buy her flashlight.

Yeah, it's pretty warm.

Then you'll really know what it's like to have sex with her. I feel like she sucked on my finger. I feel like we got kind of close, but that's actually what you're gonna. You're gonna love. So thank you so much for joining me on this show.

Thanks for having me.

It's been great having you. And, Anderson, what's up with you? What's up with your podcast this week? The film?

Yeah. I can't remember what we did. We just did one, too, and I can't remember what the topic.

This always happens. Everyone loves it. So just check out the film vault.

It was a good show this week, too. Damn it.

Okay. Well, thanks, Anderson, for being here, as always.

Top five racist, or was that last week?

Top five races.

Oh, we did top five streaming. Now you. You can watch on instant stream on Netflix so you don't have to go out to the movies. You can stay at home.

I love it. Thanks, Everton. Thanks everyone for listening. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

Have you guys heard my news? I have a new sex gig. I'm not a porn star. It's better. I just launched my new premium skincare brand called Emily and Toni. These products are tried and true to help spice up your sex life, which is what I'm all about. I'm talking about massage oil candles that are one part candle, one part body oil. And check out these flavors. They come in delicious scents like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fougere. And they're hydrating and they leave your skin feeling super luxurious. We even have a product for the guys called Down Under Comfort that helps keep their balls smelling fresh and clean and dry all day.

Which is.

Which is exactly what you want, right? So, guys, if you take care of your balls, your partner will take care of you. So help us keep this podcast free. Use code Emily to get 20% off your first purchase at emilyandtoni.com. trust me, you'll love them. And you're welcome.

Perhaps play a little game called Just.

A tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels.

Hey, this is Jordan Harbinger, host of the Art of Charm podcast, the number one dating and relationship advice podcast in itunes.

I'm Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast, the number one sex and relationship podcast on iTunes and@sexwithemily.com and this is just the tip.

So you know, anybody who's dated a girl for a while knows all the spots and stuff like that. And everybody's got hot spots. So how do we find those spots? I mean, sometimes it can take a lot of experimentation, which is fun, but what else?

Well, the other things are, we have so many erogenous zones on our bodies. So I, I would just ask her, say it doesn't have to be like a heavy conversation, but just say, hey, babe, what are three parts of your body that you like, touch the most? And she might tell you there's this crazy spot at the back of her knee that makes her go crazy. Well, now you know, so asking, you know, really helps. And also you can offer to give her a full body massage. Who doesn't love a massage? Use a massage oil, get in there and then you can see if does she, like, fast or slow or hard? And it's. It'll get her turned on, maybe she'll flip you over, you'll get a massage, and then you can learn each other's erogenous zones. We get so stuck on, like, knowing, like, oh, we think it's either, like, you know, the nether regions or the breasts, but there's so many other areas.

That's because we're dudes and we think that other people think like us.

Yeah. Guess what? We don't at all. Like. I would kill for a guy to kiss my neck every time he sees me personally. So, guys, so many women love the neck kissing in the ears.

If you go on a date with Emily, just go straight for the neck.

Go straight for the neck and we're in. You're in, baby.

Awesome. And speaking of massages, your massage candles, too.

Oh, massage candles. Go to emilyandtoni.com, use coupon code EMILY. And these massage candles are luxurious massage oil that you pour on your partner, and it'll rock your world.

Awesome. Emilyandtony.com emilyandtony.com Sweet. If you guys want to learn more from the Art of Charm, about dating, relationships, and even networking for business, visit us at the Art of Charm podcast. Or check us out on itunes and follow me on Twitter at the Art of Charm.

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