Sex Talk with the Bachelors in Paradise

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com, you can check out everything going on our website. You can subscribe to the podcast. We love when you subscribe. We love when you review us on itunes. It's amazing. You can also find us on iHeartRadio. You can find us on Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play. And thank you everyone for just emailing us and being part of the show. And welcome to Alternative August. Big month for us here at Sex with Emily. And you can enjoy the fun. Because alternative sex, you guys, it's not as complicated as you think. You're probably thinking, like, you gotta build, like, a dungeon or a red room of pain. And I am not saying that. I'm saying just try one thing this month that's outside your sexual box. So something that's outside your comfort zone. So maybe you just, like, want to talk dirty. Maybe you even have a fetish that you want to try or like a sex toy that you've been like, oh, we should probably try that butt plug or something. This is the month to do it. And it can just be even talking about sex for the first time, which a lot of people don't even know how to talk about sex. We're picking four winners. Email me by August 31st. Feedbackexwithemily.com Alternative August. Welcome my guest. Did you guys know it was Alternative August?

No.

Oh, my God. You guys are great to talk to. I'm excited to talk to you about Alternative August. I've got Daniel McGuire and Vinnie Ventera. Ventera.

Yeah. Ventura. That's it. Yeah, you got it.

Ventiera Ventura. Okay, Ventura. Doesn't matter.

It's all good.

Can I just call you Vinny?

Yes, Vinny.

Daniel. Vinny. But you guys are the man. You guys, they're Bachelor's in Paradise and on the Bachelorette. First of all, you're both on the Bachelorette same season. So you became, like, bros. Best BFFs, right?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Now you have the bromance going.

A couple palaces hanging out, pals hanging out.

Right? That's good, right? Bromance makes you feel like, dude, can we just be friends? Like, it's not like you're in love. I get it. And now they're a bachelor in Paradise. You guys were on it before last season.

This is our second season.

We're on the season that's airing.

It feels good, right? Coming back. Like, they could say, like, hi, no, thanks.

Right, Right.

When you're hot, you're hot. You know?

Come on.

You guys are hot. They're really cute. Got to check it out on the. On the website and all that Snapchat we're having on Instagram. You guys are really cute. You are. Thank you, guys. So you special. Thank you. I'm excited that you're here because I've been following you. I was watching your show, your Patty Stanger episode, too, because you guys got fixed up, and I feel like you. I mean, your job right now is basically dating, right? I mean, you're out there finding women.

It seems like that. Huh. You've been on a dating show. We kind of. Yeah.

Our job is to be single, not single. Our job is to, I don't know, entertain now.

So it's entertaining. But I have a question. Let's. Let's back up. We're gonna get to Patty in a minute. That was intense, being on her show. Like, I know how that goes down. But when you guys started out, you started on the Bachelorette. Were you like, huh? Like, maybe I could find some love? Like, what were you thinking? What was your motivation?

Well, I got asked to go on it, so I was like, yeah, why not? You know, I had no idea who the girl was, but I knew the chances weren't great. You know, with one girl and 25 guys, I mean, and the girl that was there, it's not like it's a girl I'm potentially looking for. As in, like, the type of girl. It's just a random girl. It's not like, exactly if it was. For example, let's say we did a survey on exactly what type of girl I look for, and then they narrow that down to, like, one awesome girl. Like, my dream girl.

Right.

And so I'm still. I'm trying to go for her, but.

But you weren't even feeling it when you saw it.

Well, I just. It's just a random girl. You have no idea who she was. And she was. She's fine.

Okay, so it was a good experience, though.

Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Over overall, still a good experience. Paradise is better because you get more girls.

Guys, there's so many girls. Like, that's like spring break. I mean, there's like, what? I mean, you guys just going there and they're like, have sex, drink, have fun.

It's not as much as you might think.

Not as much sex.

It can get like that. It just depends on the Crew that's there.

Right. That's better for you, just because. Yeah, you have more to choose from. Because right when you go on the Bachelorette, there's one woman and then you. All these women that you can choose from. So I'm wondering, like, what have you guys been watching yourself? What have you learned about yourself as far as, like, dating to help you figure out more? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it's. It's interesting because we are in a television show, so that gives us a chance to watch it, you know, so, like, you're not really every day where you can go on a date with somebody, kiss somebody, be romantic with somebody, and watch it back. So now you kind of see, like, oh, I should have been a little more aggressive in this conversation. I should have talked about this a little more. So that is a good thing for us, you know, that is something we have an advantage, I guess, from other people.

Yeah, it's like when you watch TV.

Show, you can see your own work.

Totally. Like, if you're taking a public speaking class, watch yourself on tape. Like, do you feel like you've learned stuff, Danny?

Yeah. So when I'm watching myself back and I see how I'm talking and interacting, it's just thought about this right now, that I act obviously different with girls who I like.

Right.

And so you're obviously, you know, you're gonna be maybe more romantic, more flirtatious, nicer. When you with a girl you like with a girl, you know, like, as much you can be, you could goof around more and whatever. Like, for example, last season with Ashley, I wasn't interested here, and I didn't really even want to go on a date, but, you know, I just thought, why not? So I just kind of had fun with it. It was more like a friend thing. So me, myself, I see I interact when I'm with someone I like or I don't like. And yet there hasn't been anyone yet where I like. I'm truly head over heels. And I really, really like her. So, I mean, you'd see that side of me if I was.

Well, how are you different, though, when you're head over heels?

When I'm really. When I really like a girl, I'm just more just. All my good qualities come out, you know, because when you're with. When you meet a girl that you know you don't not attracted with, you're gonna be just more like, you're a talk to her, like, as a buddy, you know, as a friend. And you can't put Your best foot forward on every single person. You know, it's just.

It takes apology. Okay, got it. I got it. Okay. So you guys, I watched you on Patty Sanger and the Bachelor in Paradise and all that. And so how. You know Patty, she sets you up. You guys were both fixed up. I thought that was great, by the way. And I think it will be great to set you guys up for future because you guys get along. So, Daniel, you went on the date and the woman was like. He was like, I. I don't swine this show a lot, but I. Effing me. Right? Like, she was checking out my body the whole time. Like you're really interested in the physicality. Well, and that.

I was checking her out. Yeah. Dylan, I'm not gonna lie. I was checking her out and just. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie.

Right. Okay.

But it's just. It looks is obviously first important, but 90% of his personality, you know, I just. I just obviously first want to be attracted to the girl.

Right.

And you know, she has her boobs hanging out. It's gonna be hard not to stare at it sometimes.

Got it. But. Right, but don't you think so? Okay. Right. Because that was the first thing you said. She should compliment her. And then you complimented on her boobs.

But the thing is. It's funny. No, no, no, no. That's not ending.

I get it. I was at a show.

Yeah. So when she. Because Patty was like, give me. Give me 20 compliments about the girl. I'm like, 20 compliments. I don't even know the girl. So obviously a lot of it's going to be just on looks. Right. Because you don't know her personality. So you can't just go. You know what I mean? And then so obviously, you know, I'm going to be like, nice hair. Nice. You know, nice eyes, nice dimples, nice.

Yeah. And you ran out of places. You're like a nice cleavage.

Exactly. That's what it was.

Very specific. It's good to be specific in your confidence. You're like, nice cleavage.

Exactly so.

Or nice nipples specific.

I was being somewhat politically correct, you know.

Somewhat. Yeah. That's good. So, Vinnie, you were like, too nice. That's your thing.

Yeah, I guess that's too nice.

Too nice. And I feel for you. Cause like, first of all, you're really good. You're both really good. Lucky, you know that. Like, I didn't need to tell you that.

Thank you.

But this nice guy thing. Cause it kind of piss you off. You're like, fuck you, because you don't. There. I'm sorry. Now you guys are bringing out me. Are you kind of like, you know what? So what? Like, can't you.

No, it doesn't bother me at all.

It doesn't bother me at all.

I mean, I've gotten this far in my life, you know, I'm happy with my mental. My status.

Listen, listen again. This comes back to TV and editing. He's a nice guy, but he's not that nice. Like, he's not like, what. They pitch him out to me, right? Tv, you know exactly how we're in.

That element now, so we don't have to keep calling that out.

No, it's true. I know. I get it. I get that. It's a lot of.

But I mean, I don't mind it. I mean, I don't mind being the nice guy, right?

No, I don't think so either. I'm just saying, like, if you guys have. Because now you're going, what's next? Well, you're on the show. You can't tell me exactly what happens, Right. Because it hasn't aired yet. But do you. I mean, are you guys looking for love right now or do you want to find someone?

I think for me, I'm at a point in my career where I'm kind of getting to the top of the hill where I'm pretty happy, where things are going. It's hard. And that is the number one thing with my relationships. I travel a lot and I'm not home. And then it turns into like a game of catch up. Like, where are you? Like, what are you doing? And then just starts being annoying. And it just turns me into a negative person, which I shouldn't be. But, I mean, I give a girl that I date every right to want to know what I'm doing, but I'm just kind of at the time of my life where it's hard to do that because I'm just following my goal. Yeah. I'm following my dream.

Yeah. DJs are the. I'm sorry, but I think they're not great guys.

Right. And that.

And I. I tell my friends that I'm like, sleep with a dj. Totally hook up with a dj. Yeah, but you can't date.

That's what sucks. I mean, because you're on the road.

You got a lot of girls.

Oh, my God, there's like, girls, like 4:00am like, well, he didn't come home. Of course he didn't. He's a dj. He's never going to Come home.

Yeah, my friend, for nine years.

I'm sure you are. And eventually that's. But what about just being serious, single, but dating right now? Like, what about that? I know on the shows you have to be like, I'm looking for love, but come on, Bachelor in Paradise. You have 18 days to fall in love.

Well, not this season.

It was shorter.

Right, Exactly.

The rest of your point. Yeah.

So. And I get that's all tv. But let's talk about you guys in the real Daniel and Vinny in real life. I mean, you're in your late 20s, 29. Okay. Right. This is a big time. So I feel like. And your careers are taking off. All these girls. You're gonna have more girls right now. Mean, really, what do you. What about the dating process? Like, it's.

To be honest, it is super hard because, you know, like, we're both on the road lots. We both hover. We both have girls to choose from. You know, it's hard to settle down sometimes because, you know, this one comes up and this one comes up or whatever.

I want to read your text message. Like your last.

Oh, my God. I'll show you my DM. They're crazy.

Oh, yeah. I was gonna say your DMs. Yes.

You just. You could be picky sometimes. And. And, you know, I'm happy alone. And so many. Like, I'm content.

I'll show you the ones I didn't open.

Yeah, I don't open them either. I get dick pics. I block you all you guys. I block you. And you.

I block the dick pics, too.

You do. You guys are cute.

I gotta find a good one.

Wait, but here's my question, though. You were saying before the show. Wait. And we were just getting the mics going. But that women now, you think more so than before, now that you're famous and they've seen your body and your abs on tv, that they're nervous when they hook up with you or they think they should act a certain way? Because I get that too, with guys. I'm sorry. Yeah.

But we can tell. We have a good radar. We can tell who's fake it or just.

You can you tell if something. If a girl's intimidated or scared or.

Anything, like, sexually, not just when you meet them, but, like, weren't you saying, like, in bed? They were.

Sometimes you can meet a girl who just feels a little bit, you know, shy. But other ones, you know, it's. They're just like animals, really.

Okay, so tell me about the animals.

Like, what's Mine are actually pretty positive. My dm.

Don't.

Obviously. Don't read the name.

I won't read the name. Okay. This is amazing.

This happens a lot. I mean, for both of us.

Okay, so this is Vinny's dm.

That's actually a message on Facebook.

Facebook.

I get a lot of these. You know, I mean, it's. I appreciate it, though. That's all good stuff.

Okay, so this is gonna seem insane. Vinny, I watch you on tv, and as crazy as might sound, I think you'd be perfect for my daughter. She's the most beautiful, amazing person I've ever known. That's her daughter? That's good. She's a good mom. She lives in Chicago, does hair, and is beautiful inside and out. I think this is how you seem as well. We were actually talking about you, and she said she matched with you on Bumble. Dude, you're this close.

You're like, I have it. But I've never, like, on her way.

To Puerto Rico anyway. Baby, friend her on Instagram. Okay. Did you check her out?

No.

No. But what if she's the one? Okay, so you guys, you have, like, literally, you have women just coming out of the woodwork. I know that. I mean, everywhere.

Yeah.

So now it's just kind of like having fun. Right?

And, yeah, I mean, if the right girl comes along, you're definitely gonna take them, take advantage of it.

Right. But. Okay, so I want to hear about the animal so you can just hook up with people. You don't have to say if you. I mean, you clearly are, Daniel. Why? Because you just. You're honest about it, and I love it. Vinny, I can't tell if you are. Maybe you don't. You're not gonna say, like, the show. Danny already told me that the girls are either animals in bed or they're.

No, no, there's. No. There are other things.

I like animals. I'm not judging. I wanna know. Me.

I love animals.

I wanna know what she did that made her. You go, that's an animal bed.

Well, just sometimes, you know, girl will just lay there. It's just like, what are you doing?

Do they. Sometimes they still do that after all these years of me telling them not to? So women, they usually just the younger ones, right? They're, like, in their early 20s, and.

I've had some young savages.

Oh, of course. Yeah. But they're the ones that have, like, slept with dozens and dozens of guys already.

Some of them when you. It doesn't matter. Okay, wait, back up. When you say they're lying there. Are they. Are they still? I mean, are they breathing? Are they passed out? I'm kidding. No, but are they like, really, they're just like lying?

Yeah. There's not like any.

They're not like grabbing your penis like in that tickle is pickleball.

Basically, you gotta do everything. You gotta do everything yourself, you know?

Yeah. That's a waste of time.

Right?

Seriously, there's no chemistry there. And you're just like.

Here's my question. What do you. What do you guys view on foreplay?

I love it.

Yeah.

It's giving.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like.

You said this.

Yeah.

You like receiving it more than giving.

Vinny said this the other day is funny. We were talking about foreplay and, you know, hooking up and kissing and she's like touching you or sucking you off or whatever.

Right.

And then you go to have sex and then she might be like, you don't last that long. But it's like, what do you expect? We just. You just played around with me for like 30, 45 minutes, you know, what do you expect? You know, I can't let you know.

Because you got softer. But did you come or you didn't come?

No, you came. But like, let's say you come too quick or whatever. It's like, what do you expect? Because we were just.

Yeah.

Jerking me off the last 30 minutes.

Whose jerks off? What is going to.

Hand job? She was giving you a hand job for 30 minutes.

No, you know what I mean, though. You're doing foreplay, you're doing. She's touching you and she's sucking you and all that rest off. But then when you come to actual right away you go, then you'll have sex.

Right. So she gave you a 30 minute blowjob and then when you stuck it in, you came. And when you suck it in, you came right away. That makes sense. What's their problem, right? No, but here's the thing. I understand what she's saying. No, I do understand. Is that what you're saying too?

Yeah.

Okay. So during this 30 minute, she's like, not yet.

I'm like, what do you expect is gonna happen? You know?

But are you going down on them for 30 minutes? She's funny.

A lot of girls don't like that.

I.

Okay, I've been in situations where girls have loved it. I've been in situations where girls don't bother.

Both.

Sometimes. I don't know, maybe they feel insecure about 50 50.

But yeah, I think a lot of Women. Here's you guys. I feel like I'm gonna help you right now. This is so good because you got, like, Patty Stanger telling you how to date, and you guys are, like, saying all this stuff. But let me tell you a little bit, okay. About sex. For real. Like, this is stuff. Because everything you're saying is why I do my show. Because you're coming up with a lot of the common themes. So women. I think a lot of women really do like oral sex, but they're think that you don't want to do it. So they're feeling like. Or they might be insecure about it because they're not sure about your intent if you really want to do it. They think he doesn't really want to be down there.

I. I mean, I. I think that I agree with you. Yeah. I mean, do you feel.

Do you.

I mean, I think we'd obviously rather get. Get oral than give oral.

Of course.

Okay.

By being selfish.

Yeah, of course. But what do you think?

Or you think that's okay because they're. They're. We're hot and they want to be with us, that we don't have to do that?

Yeah. I mean. No, that's not the case for me.

No.

I'll do it. If I.

Come on.

If I'm attracted. If I'm attracted to the girl, I will do it. I'll do it.

So the case for you. No, no, no.

If I'm attracted to the girl, I'll definitely do it.

If you're attracted to her. Yeah, do it. How long do you. Okay, so how long do you. Do you do it for? Like, when you go down on a woman, like, what would you say about.

Until your tongue or mouth gets sore?

Oh, okay. That's. That's. Yeah. No, but that's good because some guys.

Are like, two minutes or she says, stop, stop. She can't handle anymore.

Because it's that good.

Yeah, well, they get, like. It's too much. Yeah. They feel like they're gonna, like, explode. But they don't. Because they don't.

You've had a squirter.

Yeah, I've had that before. My first girlfriend was really.

Do you want one? A squirter?

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't mind.

Do you like it? Was it too messy? I feel like you're so neat. Like.

No, no, you didn't mind.

He's not neat.

No, no, no, no. I'm an animal.

You're an animal, right? Okay. So squirting. You like.

Yeah. I never. I've never experienced It.

Yeah, it's cool. What happens. I can be really interesting. You know what?

You know what I hate? You know, I think, what do you hate? When a girl's like, no, I don't go down on guys.

I'm like, yeah, you're not going out.

You'll never get a guy that way.

No. And you'll never get. I think, well, you might find a girl who doesn't like oral but doesn't even know. I think there's a lot of younger. If you're going out with girls and I. Guys, again, don't get me, send me angry emails. I know that some women in their early 20s, like, people work for me and here in my life and I know them, they like oral sex. But many women haven't had great oral sex. They might not be that comfortable with.

Right.

But I think that when you can do that, when you can master that, that a lot of women really will like.

I love when a girl says she loves giving, like sucking dickers.

Right. So you. But I love that you're saying that when a girl says, I don't. Of course. You like. A girl loves to suck dick.

Of course.

But when she says it, and I'm.

Like, yeah, she's like, I want to suck your cock.

Yeah, love it.

Right? That's hot. Right? Okay, so. But. But you have women, like. But you have women who say to you, I don't like to suck.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

They're like, I'm sorry, that's the end of the conversation right there. You could be Margot Robbie. You could be Sydney Crawford. No, I'm probably lying, but no, but it's true. So I need that. I think it's a very intimate thing.

That's half of it.

You could tell a lot about a girl the way she gives it.

Tell me what you can find out about a girl. By the way.

She's finer soul.

Come on. Really? What can you tell?

No, if they're into it, you can.

Tell if they've done it lots or not. You know, biggest things.

You really. I think that you are. Okay, Daniel. I think that you look at women, you're in a way.

Judging around how many people they've slept with and that it means something. You're like, if they've slept with a.

Lot of dudes, but there's two. There's for that.

That.

That topic there. If a girl has slept with a lot of dudes, it's good because then she has experience. But you don't necessarily maybe want to bring that girl home to Your mom to me, you know, you don't want to date. I wouldn't necessarily want to date a girl that's been around with a lot of dudes, because then you might just be another dude on the list.

Yeah, but she might feel the same way about you.

As we get older, that list is gonna get longer.

But here's what I want to tell you, is that, first of all, you shouldn't even have that conversation with someone. You shouldn't ask amount evil they suffer.

Really?

Nope. Especially in your late 20s. Like, done. Like, that's a conversation that should be buried. And then you should brush up on your oral sex skills. Like, get. Stop the talking about how people they slept with. That never helps. That conversation never ends well. Because everybody lies. True.

It's true.

Everybody lies.

Everyone lies. Yeah.

And she's gonna look either suddy or prude, and you don't want either one. And he's gonna look like a player. Or he's already lying. He's cutting it in half. Right. Dividing. Right. So. So what I'm saying is that doesn't even help. And so sooner or later.

It's funny, sooner or later, I find the someone brings it up somehow, like, because they want to ask about your past.

You know, just be like, you know what? All I could think about is the best. There's the sex I'm having with you now, and it's awesome. That's how you answer question. Thank you, but I think that would help. And then the oral sex thing, too. That. Yeah, that helps in foreplay. So you're saying. But then you get soft, so.

Not soft. No, no, not soft.

Soft thing. Not soft. You come too quickly. Sorry.

Sometimes. Sometimes, yes, sometimes.

I did not mean to attribute another penis issue to your penis.

No, no, I don't.

You don't have one.

Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, you know?

Right.

And then if you drink, obviously that's an issue sometimes.

I totally understand it. So I think it's about either if she wants more sex from you, like if. If she wants to have an orgasm during intercourse, if she's going down on you for 30 minutes or whatever it is, you're gonna need more time because of course you're turned on, but you could also in turn go down on her, and then you. You wouldn't come that way.

Then wait, no, of course that's all I like.

Wait till you're less aroused.

That's a good trick. In the middle, so you can save yourself a minute back and forth.

Exactly. That's what I do.

Or here's the thing. If you don't even want it, which I hope you will eventually want to go down on her more, you could just start kissing her again.

I like going down a girl. Like I said, if I find her attract, if I'm really attracted to her.

Yeah, right. If you're attracted to.

Sometimes you do meet a girl. Sometimes you meet a girl and you're like, you want to. You know, you maybe want. You sleep with her, but you're not, like, super attractive.

I mean, also, it depends on, like, the. The situation. It could be a girl you just met. You could. Could. You could have been dancing tonight. She could be sweaty, you know? I know.

Yeah. I know a lot of guys that don't like to go down on girls.

I know. What? I do too.

Well, I think. I think for me to go out there on the girl, it has to be somebody that I'm really interested.

That's what I said. Yeah.

Yeah. Keeping. Keeping the relationship going.

So you wouldn't be. You wouldn't be, like, the first time you meet someone? Maybe I have.

I have.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure I have. But not a lot.

What if she didn't give you a blowjob the first time you were together?

It's not in the world.

If she didn't give me one out of, like, because she doesn't do it, then that's not gonna work. Maybe she's, like, trying to play cool. Like, I'm not taking it that far.

Right.

That I respect.

Okay, what about this? This just popped in my head.

Yeah.

Is when a girl comes back with you, to you, wherever you are, and she doesn't do anything. It's like, what. Why do you come over in the first place?

What do you mean she came over?

Like, say she comes back in the night after you're DJing or whatever.

Well, think about it this way. I mean, this is a situation that we have to deal with now, being on a television show, that shit does happen.

It is gonna happen. She probably just wants to hang out with you because she sobered up. When she got there at, like, three.

In the morning, it was just like.

My mom, dude, I had a girl. I had a girl that 100.

Maybe she just wanted to see if you really wanted to have, like, conversation with her, if you liked her. And it wasn't just about that.

Three in the morning when everyone's drunk.

It wasn't the best time. I get she's sending you a wrong message, but, you know, she didn't owe you Anything?

No, of course not. I'm just. It's just funny.

Yeah. You're like, we could have all gone to bed, save this awkwardness. Right.

But never mind. Off topic. No.

You okay.

No, it was just kind of something to deal with, like, now situations that we have to deal with now. Being on a show, like, I had a girl that I talked to for a little bit.

Like, we hooked up, whatever. And I see a screenshot of her Snapchat story where no. She screenshot of a conversation with a family member. She goes, you better watch the Bachelorette tonight. My ex is on it. I'm like, I'm your ex. We hung out a couple times.

Yes.

You're like, yeah, I just thought of that.

Funny comment.

I'm not your ex.

Jules is like, what do they expect? Milk and cookies when you come over at 2, 3 in the morning?

You know, maybe.

But speaking of X, maybe she's hungry.

Not milk and cookies is like.

Like, now social media is used. Like, Instagram is used to meet people and why not? And so I think, like, talking about what you just said about your ex.

When you, like, that's just a creep.

Two or three times. Whatever. Like, again, like, just because I send you a message on Instagram or whatever does not necessarily mean I want to sleep with you. Or just because I asked you to go to coffee does, again, not necessarily mean I want to sleep with you. I want to hang out. I'm very friendly. I'm not shy. So I don't mind hanging out with someone going to coffee. It's just a social thing to do.

That's the thing, too. Now everything. Everything turns to, oh, this guy's a creep. He's creeping. He's creeping.

And this guy's. There's this guy's. Or they might think maybe this guy's desperate because he asked me within the first five minutes. Because I hate spent wasting time on social media talking.

Because I find right away you get.

Nowhere trying to be gentlemen nowadays. Now you turn into a creep.

Exactly.

What if you call them?

I said, give me what's your loss?

That's like a loss. That's like. That's like a artifact now that no one does that.

No, but it's so much easier.

Like.

There'S a couple girls I've done that with, and we've talked for hours. This is. I'm like, I told them, this is amazing. She said the same thing.

Yeah, right. Because then you're like, back and forth. What did he mean? What did she mean by that? It's just really confusing.

It's so like. It's just surface level. It's not. It's just boring. It's just shit. And it's not gonna anyone.

I've had great text conversations with girls where it's been like, sarcastic, witty, doesn't happen often. And then I met them in person. I was like, you're not the same person.

Right. Good on paper, good on text.

Well, they were just shy, you know.

But still, do girls escalate now? Like, are you getting a lot of like naked photos and stuff or like.

I don't get as much as you think? You'd be surprised.

It's not a lot of. It's not like, oh, damn, she's hot.

But no, I get it.

It's a bummer.

That's why I think that people. One of my top advice is when you're dating or you're. You should just cut the time in half that you're texting me.

I don't want to waste time. I don't want to waste your time on my time. I want to figure out another thing I do, short thing I do. Like when I used to use Tinder or whatever, right? They got like four or five pictures. They have the best pictures. I want to see. Because what Instagram does is basically tells their life story. It's just shows me if they're into animals, sports resume. And so, yeah, I also. Because I know they're going to put the top five pictures and so I want to see what they really look like. So it's basically like a backup. So within the first five minutes or 10 minutes, I used to be like, what's your Instagram? I'm not trying to be like a creep.

No, they should provide their Instagram. My.

Yeah, they should. But sometimes I feel like awkward asking for it. But I don't want to waste your time on my time. Again, I'm not trying to be superficial, but I want to be attracted to the girl first. And then, you know, right away, then I'll talk about, you know.

So you asked for a little more information. Yeah. See, I used to think like, maybe if you get on FaceTime or something and you talk to them first, but then I don't know.

Well, it's good to see the Instagram. Like you said, you can see what they do with their life. If they have puppies, if they have a kid, if they go to the gym.

They shows a lot what kind of person they are.

Okay, we're going to move on to emails. You guys are awesome. Shout out to our sponsors. Thank you, everyone, for supporting our sponsors and for listening to the show, and I love you all. We'll be right back.

One of my dreams is a lube on every nightstand.

You want to know why I have it in my.

Perfect. In it. That's cool. You can put it in or on, but because there is that stigma, people think that you only use lube if she's dry or there's discomfort. Like it's to fix a problem. However, just adding a few drops of lube whenever you're having sex or when you're masturbating before sex, before you go inside her, it mimics her natural lubrication. So even if she's already wet, that's amazing. But it adds another dimension to it. It's like big, fat, big, right?

Big fan.

Every time. Every time you have sex, you should end.

Here's a question I have.

Because women are more likely to orgasm too.

I am a habitual lube user. So here is something that I've been thinking about. If you have a girl that you just started talking to and you have that lube, it's a little awkward bringing it out because she knows that you bought that to use with somebody else.

Right? But. Okay, I understand what you're saying, but lube is a little.

It's kind of like, gotta pretend like, because I have a. It's pretty big, right? So it's like, damn, how long? Like the girls, I think, like, what the hell you been doing? Like, well, first I kind of like hide it and I put it in my hand in the corner.

You can tell your friends are sex with Emily because I'm going to be giving you so many different kinds of lubes. No, Jo, we use. We work with Joe and they make all these different kinds of really pretty bottle. Like, I don't know what kind you use, but you should buy some.

I think water based.

Okay. Water based is great for women, actually. But here's the thing about lube. It's like condoms. Like, you have condoms in your house. I mean, I get it's different because it sounds like a used condom.

A condom.

Stop, you guys, I'm gonna give you a condom.

No, I have condoms.

I've never seen one before.

But I'm saying is that it's not. I don't think that that's a weird thing. I think that it's. I think that what I would hope is that women would just understand that, like, it's. That's my goal, that they'll understand that you're using it because it feels better to both of you. I don't think that she's freaking out that you have lube. Everybody should have lube.

But you should, like, should you act like, okay, you have sex with her like the first time without lube. You go, I think I should eat lube. And then like, you should order a new one just to make her feel like you bought that for.

No, lube is not like that.

You reuse lube.

Lube is like dish soap or something. I mean, it's like you just have it. You don't buy new hand soap in the bathroom.

Do you use dish soap?

No, don't use dish soap.

Just use coconut oil before.

Yeah, coconut oil. You can use coconut oil, but I don't recommend it because you never know.

Motor oil?

No.

We're going to give you guys some lubes, maple syrup.

But I'm going to give you some flavored lubes too, that are really good. It's healthy, though. It's water based and they feel good. But I'm saying that. No, I don't think that you're organic vegan.

Only if it's vegan.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, right?

It is.

Okay, well, I'm down, guys.

You think I mess around with that? Lubes that are not delicious and. And good for you, so. No, I don't. I don't think that I do you know that.

Would you do that?

I would. We have this salted caramel lube and it literally they. When we're at the trade shows, for.

Some reason, I'm so gross. I don't know what it is.

I'll eat it if you'll eat it. The salted caramel. Where's the closet in the sexy Vinnie. So good they actually handed out.

I want to see it.

Yeah, yeah. They hand it out at trade shows. The salted caramel lube. I'm telling you, it feels great for oral sex. Like, for like you put on her body when she's going down in you. It's not sticky. This is what I'm telling you guys. I would not give you like your grandfather's. No, no, you don't know me.

I'm sorry.

I wouldn't give you. Your grandfather sticky lube. This is like your parents lube.

Like, used it.

Modern day lube. No. And you know what? She's not gonna think that. Why do you have a bottle of lube there that you used it with someone else lube toys.

Oh, Vaseline. Do people use Vaseline toys?

Is a little weird. Don't use V. Vaseline.

Let me see this stuff.

Okay, so this is salted caramel hazelnut.

That's a good business.

I'm telling you.

It's called Joe. Oh, no.

Joe. It's called Joe. The brand is Joe. And it's the only lube that I sell, that I talk about. I mean, I sell it, but even like, they're like my.

What's that one? The salted caramel.

Because you can buy, like, bad lubes that hurt you, Daniel.

Put it on your finger and put it in my mouth.

Oh, my God. You're gonna feed each other lube. This is so romantic. It tastes good. Okay. This is amazing. Okay, I'll do this too.

Come on.

I gotta open it up here.

Nervous?

Oh, I just don't have fingernails.

Okay. Oh, my God.

Oh, I think to say they're feeding.

Each other Joe, loop. Go. Yeah.

Really? Off my finger.

No, I'm not licking your finger.

Exactly.

That's dirty. Give me it.

How about like.

Oh, yeah, it's really good. Imagine if like salted caramel.

All right, enough. I'm not eating it.

Just cocoa.

Eat it.

Oh, yeah, it's pretty good.

It's good, right?

If I was a girl, I'd be going to town and I'd get my sugar intake if I was to dive in.

I know, right? Exactly. It is true that some women are like, I don't like the taste. And they're like, oh, well, I could give you oral sex that tastes like gelato.

I'm gonna have to steal some from you.

We're giving you a gift pack. I told you, you guys, no one ever leaves here without some things to make your life even more pleasurable.

This just came in my head because I thought of dirty fingers.

Tell me, Daniel.

Dirty fingers. You know what's so gross is when I see guys with dirty ass, long fingernails, and I'm thinking about if I was a girl, I would never in a million years want this guy going near my vagina.

You're absolutely right.

Is that. Is that a thought?

Random thought.

I talk about hygiene a lot on the show. That you really do. Everyone needs to wash their hands before sex and wash up before sex. If you have like a busy day.

And you're running around dirt in there.

Yeah, that's gross. That's. That's how you get infections.

What are some turn offs?

I was gonna ask you that. I would say hygiene is turn off.

Okay, let's hear for girls. For like, for guys.

Sexual or.

Yeah, for you. Sex.

Guys who don't do foreplay. I say guys who are not interested in foreplay, guys who don't pay attention. Paying attention is huge. I mean, like, paying attention to how her body is moving, if she's responsive, if she's like. When you're, like, doing the jackhammer and she's just like, you know, looking at her phone and you didn't really notice it. No, I'm kidding. But I'm saying. I'm saying that, you know, my show is sex advice. I give a ton of sex advice and help a lot of people. But what the basic, basic premise of sex, I think one of the things that you can learn the most of is when you pay attention to women. I think that because. Because every woman is different, right? If you put a hundred women in a room and they were all masturbating, for example, they would all be doing something different. And you'd be like, how?

I know girls who say they don't masturbate, even.

That's true. Every.

These women, a lot of girls nowadays that are, like, they come across as, like, almost asexual in a sense, because they don't want to come. Society over the many years, they kind of feel like, you know, they don't want the stigma of being, like, a slut or being like, promiscuous or whatever. So they. Now girls are kind of being the opposite of that. You know, they're kind of, you know, they're going after their career. They're trying to be polite and proper. So.

But that's. I think that that's sort of a perception that you have. And I think that for some women, that could be true, but I think it's a different time right now. And I think that.

Well, I mean, I'm saying I meet all types. I'm just saying I do meet a bunch of girls now.

I'm like, what?

Sex is good.

Sex is supposed to be fun. So my bottom line is that sex is to be fun. And I think that we make it really difficult. So the thing about the women, they're all different. So just because your last girlfriend might have liked it when you went down at her and fingered her in a certain way, the next one be like, I don't want fingers at all. So that's why if you're with her, you're like, you could be paying attention.

Because I know some girls like things hard. Some like, it's soft. Especially, like, you have to pick up on their language.

You pick up the body language and breathing. You got. Yeah, it's the body language. Good. See, Vinnie knows.

Trust me, I know. I was just gonna say I noticed with girls like some, I find like when you're doing like things with your hands, like, some like it soft, some like it hard. And just like, you have to pay attention because it's true.

Right. It's good to always start slow though and use lube if you're fingering them too. This is going to change your life.

I love getting fingers more than anything. I noticed.

I love all your girls declarations.

I'm just saying I think girls love it.

They love. Every girl loves being fingered.

If you do it good. Yeah.

What do you. I don't. That's. That's not true.

You know, you don't think girls like.

There's a lot of girls who. I think that some girls put up with it, but they don't know. They're. They don't. They don't have the words yet to say they don't like it and they don't know that's okay. But I give people permission to say it's okay. That doesn't feel good. Mm. It's not every girl likes it.

No, I'm exaggerating.

I understand. I find like when we use things that. When we say things like that here, I gotta just clarify that it's. No, no, it's not every girl.

But I feel like a finger.

You what?

I'd rather go down on a girl than finger.

Really? Why?

Just like boring. Like, I think I get more. I get more jump.

A loose change from something.

Yeah. Like I get more out of it by going down on a girl than just fingering her.

You guys, will you help me answer some emails from my listeners? I think you guys can be so useful here. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show that's amazing, you can text me your question. All one word text Ask Emily to 797-979 and you can also submit a question to sex with emily.com via the Ask Emily tab. And as always, include your gender, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. Hi Emily. I'm a 37 year old divorced guy who loves your show. Your podcast and others have helped me learn about myself after my 10 year relationship ended. Now I'm ready to step back into dating. What is the right way other than just coming out and saying it? To ask a girl out. I have this one girl in mind, but I don't know anything about her other than where she works, a store that I frequent. She's always smiling at me and seems to remember things about what I buy. I don't want to misinterpret her friendly nature as being fun, flirty, or interested. If that's not the case, I find her attractive, friendly, and I'd like to get to know her. I do a lot of shopping at the store. I don't want to change where I shop. If I cause friction by asking her out or assuming she's not interested, how do I gauge her interest or boldly ask for a date? Aaron, 37, Dayton, Ohio.

Okay, so I think he's been out of the game for 10 years. So he's a little insecure, obviously.

Big time. Because I know if I was.

You guys are, like, nodding.

I think. I think off the bat, he has to maybe find something in common with her and just build off of it. Like, even though she works at a.

She's a cashier, she works at some store that he frequents. I don't know what it is.

Well, he can't be frequented too much because then that'll get creepy. But maybe just find something in common that they can talk about and kind of parlay that into her.

What she.

If she's single or if they would even, you know, if she would even entertain the deal of maybe getting coffee with him or something.

Right.

He's got to find a segue.

But he sounds like she's giving him an eye or whatever it was he said.

But he's overthinking and saying, well, what if she's just flirting and then I can't shop there. He's way overthinking it.

Well, yeah, he's overthinking in a relationship.

Yes. He's overthought it by too much. And now it's gonna be. It could be awkward. I mean, end of the day, the best thing would be just go ask her. Yeah.

Maybe just be straightforward. And I agree with that.

Let's go. Go for a walk and grab coffee or something.

Yeah. Say, this is fun. I love talking to here. Let's grab coffee. What are you doing? What are you doing Thursday? Let's get dinner. I mean, I think you just gotta be straightforward. Okay. Drink?

Yeah.

Or lunch.

I say. What I say is go for coffee or go for a walk. Always awesome. Going for a walk doesn't make you feel insecure like this. This way you're kind of moving around and things are. Surroundings.

Check out your surroundings and stuff like that.

So you meet. You meet women up for dates on a walk date.

Always. Every single time. That way, first off. It cost basically no money. We can leave anytime you want. I got like, I gotta go. You know, this is.

You just walk the other way. You're like, this was fun.

When you're in a restaurant or everyone, you know, people might be looking at you and whatever. This place kind of. Of like. It's more. You're like, pointing to things and, oh, look at this, look at that. It's just more fun.

Wow, that's a good. That's.

I think, yeah, he should just be straight up because then he's gonna psych himself out and it's gonna get.

Thank you for bringing this back and helping him, Aaron. I think you're right. I think that a lot of. I think there's a lot of male behaviors in here. Patterns that I see women overthinking it. Listen, you're attracted to her. You're in the store. Don't worry that she's. It's gonna be awkward. Like, just let her know. Say, this is. I love talking to you here, let's grab coffee. Done. Don't overthink it. And you are 10 years out of the game, though, Aaron. So just go easy on yourself. That. It's like, it's a muscle. So dating is like a muscle.

Maybe you can, like, find her name and maybe, like, do a little background research, like an Instagram search.

Don't be creepy with it.

Just a little something. Vinny's too creepy like that. I mean, that's like going to her house. That's creepy. Just trying to maybe see if she's got a boyfriend or something. Then you can check out the Instagram.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Okay. Hi, Emily. I'm a huge fan of your podcast. As a guy, I think your insight is always so helpful, thoughtful, and I'm always looking forward to listening to the next episode. Recently, I met this girl who's cute, pretty cool, and interested in just being friends and having casual sex. We've had sex a handful of times. You're like, that girl doesn't exist. And it's always been really fun for both of us. I'm pretty open about talking about sex, and I'm always looking for ways to make it more fun, exciting, and even prove some of my techniques. I was wondering if you had any advice or technique when it comes to going down at a woman and even using my hands or fingers to pleasure a woman. I guess I'm looking for some concrete techniques and tips that I can apply so I know I'm hitting all the right buttons in a good way. Thanks. In Advance. Love the podcast and everything you do. 24, Missouri.

I'd love to hear what you have to say about this.

Right? See, I was like, oh, my God.

I'm reading something from a girl or a lady?

A guy? No, it's from a guy, but I'm a woman.

Yeah, right.

So this is what I want to tell you all. This is. This is the lesson.

Like you said, everybody's different.

Let's get a lesson here.

Okay, so there's some basics here. Jay and Vinnie and Daniel. So I would say that the things that you really have to learn is what we were saying earlier is that you really need to pay attention. And by that, I mean is, how is her body moving? Is she enthusiastic? You know, you can tell if she's into it. If she's not, is she not moving at all?

Is she receptive or. She's on her phone, Right?

Exactly. And then as far as, like, oral, it's. It's really about going slow and building up the tease. So I think the mistake that a lot of men make is that they go right for clitoris. So you're like. You're making out of the girl maybe for a second, and then you're like. And you're like. You skip the boobs completely. You go right down. Take her pants off, and you're like. Right there. And so the thing about the clitoris, you guys know where the clitoris is, right? You know all that if you. I wish I had my vulva puppet.

Is that that thing on the breast?

That's a nipple.

No, that's a nipple.

Is it areola?

But the clitoris, right, that's where, like, the rag.

Not kidding. Some guys don't know, but there's like, 8,000 nerve endings. But it's not just the little button. It's like the whole area.

The vulva.

Vulva. Nice Volvos. High five to you for the vulva.

I know my vagina. Seen a few in my days.

That's good. That's good. And so you want to, like, tease it, right? So play with her inner thighs. Like, massage. You can, like, do little licks around, but don't go. You want to, like, warm her up. So I think the big thing is the tease and kiss her down her body. Like her breasts, her stomach.

Yeah. Let her marinate a little bit.

Let her marinate. Yeah.

Don't steal my word.

I've said that. Kidding.

That's my word.

You know that because I think that the mistake. I think that when guys are turned on, they're like, yeah, like, I want to blow job now. Like, don't start licking. I mean, although I do think it's nice to tease men sometimes. But women like it helps us with our arousal. Like, it'll help. We'll be more ready for sex. We'll more likely to have orgasms when we have more foreplay. So this way, when you're going to. So then you get there and you're fooling around with her. He's asking techniques. I think that every woman's different. Some women like fingers, some women don't. But I would not start with fingers. I would start with your mouth and your tongue. And, like, there's, you know, again, go slow, lick around, lick in circles, play with your tongue. Make sure that it's.

Do the Alphabet. What's that from?

The Alphabet?

We had a funny skit on the Bachelorette. We had to go on stage and reveal, like, our most awkward sex stories. One of the guys, some he just brought up, he did the Alphabet on a girl. It's like A, B, C. Right. It was pretty funny.

I think, in a way that. Yeah, I mean, I don't think the Alphabet necessarily works, but if it gets your tongue moving in different directions, that can work. So concrete's also. Here's my number one tip, Jay, and for you guys is that one of the big concerns that I think that women have often is that we don't really know that you want to be there or that you're into us, that you want to do it. And we're thinking, like, what if. Yeah, I don't taste good or you don't want to do it. The best thing you can say to a woman is, I just want to go down on you, and I'm going to be here all night. I'm not going anywhere. And then she can, like, relax and settle in, and then that's the big thing.

Then you're going to realize feeling relaxed and feeling comfortable.

Yeah.

So a massage is also great to get her. Like, you guys. I'm sure you learned that in high school, right? Give a girl massage.

One of the best starters. That was my trick of the train.

My back's hurt. I just worked out.

I'm going to give her massage.

Give her a massage.

Yeah. Vice versa. That's one of the best ways to start.

For sure it is, though, because the women are really. We're all stressed out. I think sex actually so pleasurable.

Design is a muscle, you know, Got to relax it.

Yeah. Everything's a muscle. And so I feel like sometimes you.

Got to work it hard, though.

No, don't. Not too hard. I think another tip is to go slower than you think with every sex move. Go five times slower than you think. So I think I'm on sex forever. No, no, you're good. But I think. And then with fingers again, you got to see if she's into it. But a lot of women, you could. When you're going down there, you can add fingers after she's already turned on.

What about butt stuff?

The girl. Let's talk about butt stuff. I have a butt plug sitting here. We started talking about that earlier.

Butt stuff, even anal sex.

What do you think about it?

You know, done it once.

I've done it once. A long time ago. The only thing I have to say is, yes, stand. And this is curious. I'm curious what you think about this. So let's say we're not using a condom. Let's say we're my boy, my boyfriend, or girlfriend, you know, whatever I'm into.

Are you into men?

No, I'm just saying. I'm talking for, like.

Got it. You're trying to be inclusive. If she's.

Oh, no, I'm talking about, like, if I was gay or gay people.

I like. Right, good.

Okay.

Right. Okay.

So you're saying anyways, and let's say. Yeah, let's. We'll say. Let's say I'm doing anal sex and then.

Doing the anal.

What about, like, things like poop? And then what happens if they want to, like, suck on you? You know, like.

Right.

What is their problem? Their problem, not yours.

Sex can be messy. It's true. And so I think that before sex, there's a lot of women, you know, you just. Or whoever's receiving. You can use, like, an enema, but not the kind. Don't use the vinegar that come in if you really feel like you need to. And you're like. Let's say you like, I know I'm having anal sex and I'm constipated. I mean, you can use one. You take out the water. I mean, you take out the vinegar and you can add water to it. But. But most people have healthy bowels. It moves through them. And, you know, like, you might not want to go have a huge Mexican dinner that night and then go to anal sex. But most of us move. Yeah, you.

If you're out of the college bar and this girl is just like, take me back and throw it in my ass, you might have to worry about it.

Right? And actually, you want to make sure.

She just Said Taco Bell on the way back.

And then like, I know there's one girl, I was like. She's like, yeah, you can, you know, stick in my ass and then I can suck your dick.

And I'm like, right. So that. Actually, I would advise against that. Yeah. Because you should take a shower. You should get clean. You should actually be very clean with that. So she.

Yeah.

Because when you get poop in your mouth.

Yeah.

It turns out you're thinking about. So it turns you off.

That's like. I know. That's what exactly.

It's not say. It's really not for the. All the bacteria and stuff, but maybe she was saying that thinking that you would think that was hot, but clearly.

No, no, no, no, no. That would mean.

Was she drunk?

No. So we're just talking like, that's like, just.

She's like, so I would like to you to. I'd like to have anal sex and then suck on you after.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, my God. And that's a freak. I like a freak. But that's like, what is that?

Okay. Right. But to me, that. That would not be sanitary. You should.

Exactly. I'm like a germaphobe when it comes to, like that sort of stuff, you know?

Right, I get it. Well, so now we're clearing. So the truth is, you guys, everyone, we've done a lot of anal shows, but talked about anal. Is that. I think it is. That's a big concern for people. But there's. You just make sure that you're clean and that you shower and you take care of it and like all that stuff that you have to wear condom and you can, you know, be safe. So any other sex questions you guys have for me, I feel like there's a lot of work we could do here. In a good way. In a good way.

What do you mean, a lot of work? What does that supposed to mean?

No fun. Like, good stuff. Like, the next time you have sex, you'll be like, oh, wow, this was next level.

Yeah.

Just like dating is next level for you now.

What do you got, Daniel?

Anything about women that you're like, why does that happen? I mean, we covered a lot, but.

I can't think off the top of my head. I should have been prepared.

Going back to like, like, say you're giving her like, oral sex. And she's like. Then she's like, no, stop, stop. You know, it's like.

Well, it's true that some women, that it can be too much.

Yeah. It can be like, it's just. They just can't handle anymore.

Okay, I'll tell you, there's two things. Either she really can't handle it. Did she have an orgasm already or not?

No, it was like she. She was like she couldn't have one. It was, like, building up, building up, building up. And then it didn't.

It didn't happen. That happens sometimes, but you just. Then you stop, obviously. But for some women, they do just get. It gets really sensitive and it's too much. And sometimes it's just the person doing it. It's not. A lot of times we have a hard time articulating what we need, and so we're just like, I'd rather just have him stop because I know it's not gonna happen.

Has every girl that you've had sex with, like, been able to have an orgasm?

No.

God, no.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, good. I was gonna ask you guys as well, because I'm like, no, I've only. No. What?

I think I've only been able to have. It's crazy too, like, three girls that I've ever been with.

Some, like.

So wait, back up. Three girls you've been with have had orgasms with you?

Yes.

During intercourse.

I'm saying, like, I've always been mostly the relationship guy.

But that's good.

There's only three of them.

I find, like, a lot of girls have troubles getting them sometimes.

That's true. So do you guys know that only 30% of women have orgasms during intercourse? Only 30? So that would make sense, assuming that you slept with maybe ten women. Right?

Ten last night.

No. Right. But what I'm saying is. So. So that's a great question. So since only 30% of women can, and of those women, it's not every time. What does that mean? It means that it's just messed up because we're always supposed to assume that women can.

And you're like, I mean, that. That knocks me down a little bit. If you're having sex with a girl and she doesn't have an orgasm, like, what are you doing wrong?

Right. But you're not, though. Let me tell you this. So there's some hacks here. Some things you can do. Life hacks. Sex hacks. Is that the reason why she can't a lot of times is because women can. Is because we just require so much clitoral stimulation. And a lot of times during sex when you're just, like, rubbing and it's just not going to be enough, no matter what position. And it's the way Every woman's anatomy is different. And so the best thing you can do to help with that is not trip up on it. It's really nothing that you're doing.

That's why girls like to usually be on top.

Because are like, Exactly. Look at you. I feel like if we were giving out, like, you get an A right now. No, but it is true that. So women require more clitoral. They require more foreplay. So that's why I'm talking about, like, you know.

But it's funny. Like, I hate to say it.

I'm using your fingers.

I hate to say it. And Vinny can definitely back me up, but sometimes we get jealous and. Or not jealous. We get selfish.

And I know we.

You just want to get it. You just want to do your guys. You just want to do your thing.

I know, dude. I know. That's how most.

I'm getting lazy in my older age.

Yeah. Oh, no, you guys. I know.

That's how I fell asleep during a blowjob once.

I've heard these stories. Yeah.

That's crazy.

It was that good of blowjob.

I don't know if it was that.

Good, but I was not to default. But you could fall. You can fall asleep pretty easily. Don't fall to your own.

Okay, wait, but you guys, I know what you're saying about the selfish thing, and that can happen sometimes, but women. I feel like it happens more than not with men, that they're like, I can't figure out. You're this puzzle, that it's not gonna happen for you. And I don't know how to control this. I'm so turned on, and I'm gonna orgasm. We're both gonna rol asleep, and you didn't say anything, so you probably don't care that much. But she does care. Like, not every time, but she cares. Instead of. She wants to know that you're conscious that she hasn't had one. And maybe she's got a toy like so many women have. Like, a toy that she could get off in, like, two minutes. Or maybe she did want some more oral, but she needs to tell you how she wants.

Where I'm like, do it yourself. You know, I'll watch. I don't mind.

That's.

That's a good tip too. Like, you can, like. Because sometimes, like, she's like, oh, let me do it. I'm like, sure, let's see. And like, I don't mind that as well.

Right?

That's like a face either.

No, but I think mutual masturbation is a great tip for people, I will say, like, you can both. If, you know it's not going to happen. You can both jack off. Because you're seeing how I've done it.

Where I'm obviously, you know, drinking doesn't help. And so I've had to do it myself because it's like I'm trying first having intercourse, and it's like just. You're mashing, you know, making mashed potatoes. Not working out. So I have to do myself.

Making mashed potatoes. You do a lot of mashing. Mashing typically likely that pounding isn't.

No, I mean, it's like, you know, it's just like, no, it's not working like that. So I have to do myself.

Right. You have to jack yourself off.

And then they. Sometimes I think some of the girls might get offended because they think it's like, they're not good enough. Whatever. It's like, no, it's.

My Daniel has sex. Like the dude in American Psycho where he flexes.

I've never done that. No.

Yes, you have.

I swear to God.

I've never done a mirror all around.

You do, like, sets. You're like, five, four, three.

No, never done it.

It's like American Psycho checking out your obliques.

Never done that. You guys, I swear to God. I swear to God.

You wait till she goes to the bathroom.

I mean, there probably wasn't weird. At one point in time.

Were you flexed?

No, no, not flexed. But I was like, yeah, you see yourself.

But here's. Yeah, but here's the thing, you guys. This is what I'm gonna leave you with, is that I get. You said, of course you'd rather receive oral sex than give oral sex. But there's something that when you really get you when you're into a woman.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

I'm realizing. Or going down. Then you're like, oh, I'm actually doing it right. Because women worry, too. We're all worried that we're not pleasing.

I love when girls are vocal. The biggest thing is vocal.

Oh, tell me when she's making noises.

Well, not just that, but I love when a girl's saying this or that. You know, it's so nice because it's just like anything in life, you don't know. Sometimes girls like different things. And that's why I'm always, like, not to be creepy. Like, do you like that? Or, you know, plus, it helps us out, too.

Like, let me know where and how you want it.

So thank you for saying that.

If anyone's Listening, be vocal. That's the biggest thing.

I think a lot of women. But. Okay, but I want to go back to you here, Daniel, because you were saying that women, I think it's true that they might feel like they're going to be seen as slutty if they know what they like. Like, they might be feeling like, oh, if I show them all the stuff, then people like Daniel are going to assume that I know my body really well. Maybe it's of that same ilk. It's in that same judgment.

I think once. You know. But that was like, wait, that's even me. That's way before. But once you get in the bed, it's usually all hell breaks loose.

I feel like, yeah, just everything's off the table in the sense of it doesn't matter. I feel like you're right, though, that women and men should talk about more what they want back to. Why should you? I mean, right? Do you guys ever tell someone when they're giving you a blow job or you're like, can you do this Faster, slower.

Yeah. I'm like, yeah, faster.

More and more, more, deeper, faster.

Giving me, like, rug burn. I hate that.

Use that. Use some teeth.

No. No one ever, Right? Exactly. Okay, you guys, this was awesome. Oh, my God, you guys are awesome. This is really fun. Okay, everyone, check you out on Bachelor in Paradise.

Yes, Bachelor in Paradise.

Check us out on EB show there, where we just talk about sex for an hour.

Yeah, it's amazing. But you guys, do you want to give it up? We have all this on our website. But your social and all that.

Yep.

What do you. What is it?

What's my Instagram?

Daniel.

Sean McGuire.

Right here.

Yeah, if you want to slide in my DMs, it's at Vinnie Vinsane.

Yeah, they read them, too.

We do, but you don't respond to many because it's just hard. Because if you respond to this one, then you can respond to that one, you know?

So the next thing you know, it's getting screenshot put on Twitter.

Okay, well, you guys are doing the good work. It sounds like you're having fun.

Thank you.

You're awesome. Thank you for being here and thank you, everyone, for listening to the show.

Thanks for having us.

It was awesome. We're going to get some toys. Thank you to my amazing team and thanks everyone, for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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