7 Dec 2025 · 72 min
In this episode of "Sex with Emily," host Emily Morse chats with guests Anderson Cowan, Alicia, and Alexandra Tweten about a range of topics surrounding modern sexuality, online dating, and digital harassment. Emily shares her personal habit of archiving all her communications as a historical record of relationships. The group discusses the "Bye Felipe" project, which publicizes angry sext messages from men, noting both backlash and instances of men acknowledging their behavior and seeking change. They explore online dating etiquette, especially on Tinder and OkCupid, covering first‑message strategies, swipe culture, profile red flags, and the prevalence of hookup versus relationship intentions. The conversation shifts to gender dynamics, highlighting men's fear of approaching women, women's reluctance to initiate, and the pressure on both sexes to manage rejection. Emily references recent media pieces she contributed to about casual sex and the "almost‑boyfriend" cycle, offering advice on safe sex, condom carriage, and setting clear expectations. The guests discuss the etiquette around sending unsolicited explicit images and the broader sexting culture across demographics. Towards the end, Emily promotes upcoming projects, including a sexual health expo, a potential book, and sponsor messages for D‑Herbs cleanse and Qualia Magnesium, while reminding listeners to subscribe to the podcast.
Chapters
Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jaejoo is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super soft, ultra quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20% off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20% off@sexwithemily.com h e r a so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Hey everyone. Welcome to this episode of Sex with Emily. This show is all about sex toys and sexed offenders. I mean, that's sex defenders. S E X S E x T. You know what I'm talking about. Sex offenders is not as interesting as sexting offenders. You might have done it. You'll find out tonight. Tonight is also doubly exciting because we have two awesome guests. The first is a celebrity in my mind. She's the creator of my favorite sex toy on the planet and her name's Alicia from Jeju. And the second is a hero to women everywhere because she's a brilliant mind behind by Felipe, a popular Instagram account and site on Facebook calling out men behaving badly on online sites. It's hilarious. And you're gonna love tonight's show. But first I have to tell you about the most amazing thing that you didn't know that you needed until now and that is massage candles. Okay, so you know candles, they're great for atmosphere. The lights, the overhead lights are so annoying. Well, I made these massage candles that because first of all, they look great. They're aromatherapy. But who doesn't need to spice up things in the bedroom? And a massage candle is the perfect thing for that because you can give your partner a sensual massage. If you want to connect again with your partner who like who? A lot of times, we're just not in the mood for sex. So you light a candle, you pour a little massage oil on your partner. It turns into the most luxurious coconut oil soybean oil. You will love it. It's a great gift. They smell amazing. One of my listeners just emailed me and said he thinks that this candle is the reason why he and his girlfriend are back together and having amazing sex. That's all I gotta say. So go to emilyandtony.com use code EMILY for 20% off. That's EMILY and Tony.com.
Look into his eyes.
They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions.
Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?
Cause my man E here, he just.
Got his heart broken.
He thinks you're kind of cute.
A girl's gotta have her standard.
Oh, my.
Do women know about shrinkage?
Isn't it common knowledge?
What do you mean?
Like laundry? It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh, my God, I feel so good.
Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind.
Of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com, check out our website, which is actually gonna be a new website really soon, which you're all gonna be super excited about. And as I know you're all really excited about is my email. Because like I say, I give really good email. I send you an email blast once a week, and it's pretty damn good. People are like, you know, I do a lot of things.
I do things like that. I really turn you on. But my email blast gives you useful tips and tricks and things going on, things that we cover, things we've talked about. But this week coming up, you got to sign up for it because you'll receive your go to holiday guide for shopping for Black Friday Cyber Monday. All the shopping is starting. Why are you looking at me? Why are you laughing at me?
I'm just picturing dildos with antlers.
It exists, Anderson. Is that what you're saying you'd like for the holidays?
Sounds painful.
Speaking that you. Have you seen Dildo with Antlers? One of our guests tonight who makes my favorite sex toy ever. And I, like, the first time I met her, like, I bowed to her feet. It was total accident that she. Whatever. That I met her and that I got this toy, the Fifi. One of them looks actually like antlers, but it's like a rabbit. But it's antlers. It's actually.
Oh, so one for the butt, one for the.
No, no, no. It's a clitoral. It's. No, it's a clitoral vibrator. You know the rabbit vibrators?
Yeah. Well, that's not for the butt. I've been using it wrong all these years.
No, but she's gonna give you one that is for your butt tonight. That's remote controlled, but we'll talk about that after. So anyway, so, so, so, so the Fifi. Anyway, it's called the Fifi, but it's like the rabbit and it's like antlers. We should get some Christmas. But it's kind of. It's kind of mixing religion and sex toys. But I do.
Oh, no, no, Santa.
I do have some holy water lube someone gave me.
No, no.
Well, that's just on it.
I don't know.
It wasn't me.
Was it blessed by it?
I don't know. I was afraid to use it.
Sexual priest.
I didn't ask.
Losing listeners left and right.
I'm sorry, you guys. I love everyone, every religion and everyone.
Should just, you know, remember that when. What, the porn guy, hustler guy. He was trying to mix religion and sexual capades.
Yeah, like in Larry Flint.
Yeah, yeah. Like, he had naked girls on, like, crosses.
Yeah, that's a while. No, it's never good to mess with, like, crosses. The American flag. Just, you know, play it safe.
I mean, I understand how it'd be convenient to be able to, you know, get the religious part of your day out of the way with the beating off part, but I don't think it's.
People already have mixed messages. And the reason why a lot of people are challenged sexually is because of the messages they got through, you know, their upbringing, their culture, their religion. And that would just be confusing.
I would love to be able to mix like, masturbating or orgasming and comedy. That'd be great to be laughing while. But I just. It doesn't really work.
Don't you ever laugh?
No.
Do you make noises when you ejaculate?
We don't talk about things like that. Em.
Okay. I'm just wondering because I just personally think that guys should let us know. And some guys are really quiet. No, some guys are really quiet and sometimes it's just annoying. You're like, did you come? Did you not? I don't want to guess I should know, but I can't always know. Just like women. I'll tell you if you did, because I've been with the guys. I've talked about the guy who's like. Like, if he came, it was like this. It's like, did you even. Did you even just say anything? But then there was another I was with more recently and it was the same fucking thing. So just let us know, okay? This is.
Maybe he was faking.
No, maybe he was faking it. I have so much. Okay, so first of all, on the way here, I just have to tell you really quickly, I almost got my ass kicked at 7:11. And I'm not kidding you. So I. I have this thing. They don't have seven elevens in San Francisco. They have like two, right? And they're hard to get to and you never go. But in LA, they're everywhere. And I love 7 11. Not even. I never. They never have what I want. And I'm always a little disappointed. But just the idea of a 711 holds amazing possibilities for me.
The idea of you almost getting your ass kicked is mind boggling. But when you say 7 11, like, shit goes down at 7 11. About one out of every ten times I'm at a 7 11, shit's going down.
Okay? So I love Slurpees, okay? So every once in a while, it's tonight, I'm so thirsty. I always thirsty during the show. I'm like, I should get a Slurpee. It just occurred to me. So I go in and I get this red Slurpee, a red one. And I put it in the cup and then I tried to put the lid on and it spilled all over the place. And I'm wearing all white. And it's been a joke in my office since it spilled three times. It was a red, red smoothie Slurpee. So I put it down and I started another one. And this time I decide you're supposed to put the cap on first, right?
Then you put it in the little.
I didn't. I forgot. It's been a long time.
I've watched mentally challenged people make Slurpee first.
Okay, no, no, here's what happened. So I'm like, oh, I didn't put the cap on first. So then I did, and then it exploded once I put it in. So I just left him there. And I was in a rush to get to the show. So I end up getting coconut water, which is a healthier choice.
And you just left your mess there.
She's like, next time you come in here, you got to clean up your mess. I mean, I did clean it up. I threw it away, but it might have dripped a little bit and I got in trouble.
Was she a patron or did she work there?
She worked there and they were giving me dirty mess. There's two of them and they were really angry with me and I did not mean to be rude. I'm sorry. But it exploded. It was not my fault and it was a mess.
Was she a white girl with midwestern accent?
No, she was not white.
Shocking girl.
Anyway, it was funny because I did make a mess and I'd been spilling on myself and I might have a wardrobe. Okay, so we can watch the show now, as everyone knows. Oh, you might not know, every Thursday night from 8:30 to 9:30 Pacific Standard Time, we have a date. I don't know if you know about this, but you gotta put on your calendar. We actually have a date because you can watch the Sex with Emily show for the first time ever@sexwithelmy.com through Ustream. So it's really cool. You can watch. And then afterwards it becomes, you know, we store it's on our site and you can actually watch the ustream video then on our site and listen to the podcast. So it's a multimedia event.
It's a big deal. Got the whole thing going.
And then tonight, like if you're watching, like if you're listening to podcast, you're like, oh, I want to see what that toy looks like. I want to see what everything looks like. You can friggin see it. Okay. You can see Anderson's pretty face. So I'm excited though also for tonight's show. Oh, this is. Wait, back up. We got off vibrators. I'm sending out a newsletter. It's your holiday guide and you're gonna have the best deals because let's face it, nobody gets what they want. You never get your partner what they want. And I think that you cannot go wrong with something sexy to spice up your relationship or even for yourself. Get yourself something pretty, get yourself something sexy. And that's what my newsletters are gonna be about also. So my guest tonight, Anderson.
Yes.
So I you, as you know, I have a lot of. Why are you laughing at me now?
I'm picturing the stocking vibrating violently on, on Christmas morning when you come, when you come down to Christmas because the vibrator is going off in the stocking. That's funny to me.
Yeah, that is funny. But you, a lot of them, you don't Put the batteries in first, and they have to be charged.
You got to test them right when you get them.
No. Oh, well, no. What do you mean? When you open the box, it might be shaking.
Yeah. Like, whenever I've bought stuff in stores, they always test it right there in front of me, which is nice.
Not vibrators. That would not be clean or safe. No, you get them fresh in the box, you got to charge them. Okay, so here's the deal, Anderson. You know, I talk a lot about sex toys on the show, and it's only because one of the perks. I'd say probably the top perk of my job is 10 years ago when I started, I started getting a lot of sex toys. And people send them because they want me to test them and try them and whatever. So I've probably had thousands pass through my hands. Hundreds and hundreds. And I got this one right from Good Vibes. It's been one of our sponsors, and they sent me the Jeju Mimi. You've heard me talk about it a lot. You could probably even explain it right now.
I can pronounce it, which is shocking.
But you could print it. You could probably explain it, like, right?
It's like a. Yeah, it's like a little heart shaped thing, right?
Yeah, it's like. It's like a pebble, like a skipping something.
Squeeze it in there.
Yeah, whatever. It's a clitoral vibrant. It's amazing. So I got it. It's beautiful. It's well made. And I fell in love with it. And I just started talking about the Jae Jou Mimi. Jae Jou Mimi. And then, yeah, I met Alicia, who's here tonight, and she's actually the mastermind, because I've also talked about their other stuff. She's not a sponsor of the show. I'm just saying, like, we met. I love her. She's great. And she's gonna come in because she's gonna. We're gonna talk a little bit about these because she makes some of those beautiful. I mean, they just won awards. Oh, so you know you love something so la too. Like, what if no one else likes it? Well, the. The Mimi that I love. So anyway, I started talking about the Mimi, and they sold so many more Mimis because I actually really love it. But a hundred women were just given a bunch of vibrators to try. It's for Good House magazine. No, like, it was like a study. 100 women got a bunch of different vibrators or several types, and 77 of them picked the Mimi. So I am not alone. And I've been saying it for three years, and I feel like they're way behind the times.
Yeah, you're not the first person. I've heard plenty of people talking about the ju. Yes, I have. And I think I've heard them before, but it didn't really register. But now that I work with you, it's really cool.
But we're also gonna give you tips and tricks for, like, how to know what kind to buy. And Alicia actually developed them. Like, so I want to know, like, how she tested them. Like, does she watch, like, 10 women masturbating? Like, all of our vaginas are different? Like, how do you know how to make a good vibrator? Like, how did she know how to make my most perfect vibrator?
Did anyone get hurt in the process?
That's what I want to find out. I want to find out if anyone gets hurt. I want to know why I'm not a tester. The next. My guest is another genius pioneer. Her name is Alexander Tweeden, and she recently blew up the Internet, even more so than Kim Kardashian in a much more profound way, with her new Instagram account. It's really only in the last probably month even. It's called by Felipe. She's chronicling angry, angry responses that from angry men. Like, from men on online dating sites that they send to women. So it's like people, but it's an entertaining site.
But it also shows comical.
Yeah, no, it is comical. So she's gonna be on two talking about that, and we're gonna be talking about online dating and what are the proper ways to respond and not. She's gonna learn so much damn stuff on this night show. It's gonna be awesome.
A show chock full of knowledge.
Exactly. Okay. And then the other thing. Well, I don't even know. You know what? I'm just going right to Alicia.
Yeah, we should do that. She's there.
F that. Hi, Alicia. I'm so glad to see you. Welcome to la.
Thank you.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let me see. Okay, so this is saying. Is that Alicia from Jeju? We met. Well, we met after the Mimi. Did I bow down at your feet? I'm not sure, but she is so she. You've also. You're the designer of the toys. Tell me about yourself, because bios are so, like, boring.
Well, I've been in the adult toy industry for about 16 years.
Yeah.
Okay, 16 years.
16 years. Maybe a little bit longer.
Yeah.
Hey, Alicia.
Yeah?
Don't be Afraid of the big black phallic thing. Get right on that mark.
Should she put the headset. Those headsets on?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Okay.
Lean in. Lean in like you're.
Lean in like this.
Like a blow job. Now it's gonna get people watching on YouTube. I'm giving. It's like I'm giving a blowjob for an hour.
You were doing just a real sex ed portion. Exactly.
We actually will do sex ed tonight, but. Okay, so tell me about yourself. Okay. For everyone, for my listeners watching and at home.
I started out in the industry in my early 20s and kind of a fluke, you know, as an interior designer, but had studied a lot of female physiology, was really big on sex education, helped a brand called Babeland establish themselves in New York and was with them for about 10 years. And I met. Through that, I met this awesome industrial designer named Duncan Turner, and he showed me something that I hadn't seen before, and that was the technology behind the Jae Joo toys.
Okay. And you'd seen everything because Babeland is a big store. It's like a. How do you guess? Like, independently owned.
Yeah, independently owned New York.
It's in the Village, Right. Or the East.
There's a couple locations and stuff. So kind of had come up through that, and I was really fascinated by product design. I was a buyer there. I'd done. I'd done, like, every job. You know, it's like, was a small company growing, so I'd done everything and met this industrial designer, and we partnered up, and it was, you know, I got to, like, make the. What I think are, like, the most interesting toys out there.
All of them. Right.
I got to kind of redefine the classic vibrator and add on, you know, a spin with, like, quality materials and amazing charge and the best materials out there. So I felt so fortunate to, like, be able to leap and start this company called Jae Joo with my partners. And now we're six years down the road, and we've had a lot of incarnations, right?
Yeah. Okay. It's six years only, because I guess I might have. When did I first. I'm like, when did I first meet the Mimi? Three years ago. She's right here. Okay, so if anyone's watching, this is the soft. Right? Yes. Okay, so this Anderson, this is the Jejumi music.
Yeah, it's a little river rock.
Yeah, it's like a massage pillow.
Could your vagina palm that if you tried?
You think, what does that mean?
Like a basketball player palms. A basketball. Like, I mean, could you make your vagina grip it, walk around with it.
Well, it's. Think of it between the, like, labia lips, like, between the lips kind of holding it. So it's, like, kind of meant to contour here.
Okay, so this is it. It's no chargeable.
Okay, sounds awesome.
So this is, like, the highest. This is why I love it, because I like a lot of vibr. And this has the highest setting, but you can't. It's discreet. You can't hear it.
You can actually hear it. What? Are you kidding me?
No, but it's not like you should hear some other vibrators.
Oh, no, I see what you're saying. Yeah.
It's rechargeable. Okay, so talk to me about why I love it, because I don't even like why. What do you mean? Goes beep, beep, beep. I know why I love it because it just. I love the way it feels. I love that you can use it during intercourse and everywhere. But what were you gonna say about the lady lips? Cause that was my.
Okay, so if we're talking about the baby lips.
Yeah.
Right. We're talking about the clit and the vaginal lips. The toy can sit in kind of just like, right here.
Anderson, you see this? This is where the toy can sit.
So that's how I was pictured.
It's contoured to start. Or you can just kind of, like, lay it.
Which feels really good, by the way. That's a very highly erogenous part of the vulva vagina that a lot of women has legs.
So it's gonna, like, you know, all over the place.
Yeah, I wear it all the time on my clit legs. I'm wearing it now. What did you just say?
Go back and say that slowly.
I wear the Mimi on my clit legs when I go out at night.
That's what I was asking. Like, you grip it when you go out. Right. What do you call clit legs?
She said clitoris because we call it. Because the clitoris isn't just like it has legs. It's like, you know, it touches everything in.
Let's talk about that for a minute. I always say the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings. And it's not just a little button that you see. It extends deep into the vagina. It has legs.
They gotta go harder is what you're saying.
It has a hat, it has gloves. No, it has legs.
You give it like a wishbone almost. So it's like, you know, the tip of the wishbone, and then it has legs kind of that run down the.
Which is very sensitive. And a lot of people don't realize that.
Not at all.
A lot of men or women, they just focus on that.
God, you guys can't move those lips because that'd be really creepy if you could, like, just move them around.
Yeah, true. Oh, I moved.
Okay, well, okay, so. So that. Yeah, so I love the meme. Okay, so that is. But. Okay, back up for a second. When you said that when you met the design, the designer, Duncan. Duncan, you said you saw something in it because you designed the actual vibrators. But you said you saw something in the technology that had never been done before. And by that, do you mean the materials and the vibrator?
The materials. You know, he came from background of industrial design, mostly kitchen materials. So like, the best imagined silicones out there. So like your silicone baking mitt kind of thing. So he had this, like, insane knowledge of materials. And in the sex toy world, we know that silicone is the best material to make sex toys out of because it's non porous, which means it's totally hygienic. Nothing can absorb into the surface of the toy. So imagine meeting somebody who's like, can make the Cadillac of, like, silicone. You know, the. This, the silicone.
I wish I could have premium silicone. I know. I wish they could feel it too.
Because soft, it's silky. There's no seams on the toy.
No, right. It's the most perfect. Yeah. And they're all like that. Like, here's the one I was talking about earlier. People aren't watching the Fifi. Yeah, the Fifi rabbit. The rabbit with.
What were we saying? The vibrator with antlers.
Antlers, yeah. This is a good Christmas present. You could put a little, like a little red cellophane on there, make it antlers.
It looks like a wiener with, like, dripping balls. Like the balls are dripping, right?
Oh, gosh.
It's very cute.
Or it's like, you know, a little scary.
Oh. And that's why they call it a rabbit. The first time ever I see it.
Oh, my God. Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, I use that on the butt.
Dude. No, it goes internally. So it hits the G spot. The intern and that vibrator, you can. You can operate. These are all rabbits.
I thought the ears were for the butt.
Seriously.
I seriously did.
Dude, they go around the clit.
They go around the clit.
Fingers around the clit. Again, it's inserted. This is on either side of the.
I had it upside down.
Do you understand that you're being like malt. You can be stimulated everywhere with this thing, and you can control it. You can be like, oh, I don't want to be stimulated in my G spot now. Just might. Right? You can control the different. If you just want the things. So those are the ears. The rabbit ears. Tickle your clitoris. Remember that one?
You're, like, actually angry with me because I was using it wrong.
You could flip it around and use it on your butt, though.
You know what?
Oh, you can.
You can.
I mean, that's not.
Absolutely.
Yeah. You know what, Anderson? You can do the hell you want.
There's no wrong way to use a sex toy, I would say. Well, okay, maybe there are a couple wrong ways. I take it back. I'm not gonna make that one.
No, do not. Right. I might get sued. Just kidding. Don't sue me, people. Cause I'm trying to bring you more pleasure. You're really gonna sue me. Cause I want you more orgasms. F you. Okay, so. Okay, so the materials, the features. Yeah.
So it was like we went and out. We went and revisited the classics out there. So if you can imagine, like, okay. That we have the externals vibe, which is your favorite. The Mimi.
Right.
Then we have the internal vibe. So you like your classic, like, slimline or traditional sex toy. That's the uma. And then the uma.
Is that. That's a G spot.
Just G spot?
Yeah, G spotter. Just like, internal. And then we have the classic rabbit, which we were talking about. The Fifi, the take on that. Then we have the cock ring, which is.
Okay, then. Okay. This is amazing. The meal cock ring. Anderson, I'm gonna teach you something else. So cock rings they make. They've been very exploded in recent years, I think. You know, they've always been around, like, for men to have heart, you know, stay harder longer to constrict the blood flow. But then they started making these.
Ones that vibrate. Yeah, the cock rings that vibrate. And man puts on his penis. And then the vibrations hit. Can hit the woman or your partner or even. Guys love the vibration.
They do. But.
But the thing is, a lot of them are, like, you know, disposable. Or they're less. Like, this is like a beautiful, perfect. I mean, you can talk about it.
Yeah, it's that same, like, vibration that we're talking about. This, like, low, thumpy vibration.
That's what it is. And it's low and thumpy. Yeah.
And it's just not this fine. You know, it's not like. I think that A lot of the disposable ones, it's like, zzz. And it's done. So this has a nice big base on it too. So it can really hit the, you know, the clitoris and stuff, or it can be worn underneath and it can hit the taint and, like, underneath the box.
Anderson.
And then, you know, it's like, really stretchy.
One size, everyone. If you stretch it like that. Right.
And so you can wear it around the shaft. You can wear it around the shaft in balls. You know, it's got versatility and it's not gonna. You're not gonna throw it away after one use. And you get a real vibrator in it. Yeah.
And it's a real vibrator. Like, even a woman, you just use it on your own as they're all. And it's rechargeable. It's a good gift.
Yes.
I've given it to several people as gifts, but what I was gonna say is that let's talk about men and vibrations. Because I've just found this through my own. And talking to men, of course. But even in my own explorations.
Sure.
With gentlemen that I hired to help me test out sex toys. I don't actually hire them, but I just. I can let them sleep with me if they'll do toy. But. But it's amazing because so many guys, you know, we started out years ago and it still exists today, that a lot of partners are intimidated by the vibrators. It's gonna replace me. Or why do they need that? But then. But then once you get that little room by their penis, by their ball, they're like, oh, my. I've never had a guy say, I don't like it. Really? I mean, maybe some, but most of them have been like, wow, that feels really cool. Like, you gotta play around. It's gonna feel different on every man's penis and different. I mean, have you ever. Yeah.
Explain that.
Absolutely.
I think, like, you know, it's a nice gateway to have to use it yourself. It's like the Voyager and just then, like, move it in. Because the thing is, if everything's relaxed, everything's gonna feel better. And so, you know, even coming at it is like, oh, I'm just massaging. I'm doing a massage, you know.
But let's give that example. So let's say it's my toy, and I'm with a guy, and I'm like, oh. And he's kind of intimidated, and I start massaging even his back with it or his arms and I'm just like, feel this vibration.
Exactly.
It feels good.
It feels good. Yeah. So, you know, I think we say, you know, that the best. The best, you know, the best sex toy is just, and really is like, communication and as those like, just making everything comfortable so it can't hurt anything. And, you know, and especially I think we try to make objects too, that aren't like, you know, scary looking, aren't phallic. And not that there's nothing wrong with that, but it can be left out. And so a guy maybe isn't as intimidated by something that looks more nondescript.
Right? That's true.
And once guys have experienced it, you know, they. They'll come back for more.
They do that felt kind of good. Should we. And then they're like, we use that vibrator again.
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, it's like part of the design of the Mimi too. Was thinking that because a lot of people say, oh, well, guys won't come in and guys won't come in and buy toys. And it's like, no, they will actually. They've heard of a cock ring. And then this they can think is for her. So it's like, you know, permission to come in and actually buy something for the bullshit. It's a couple's toy, right? But then they might, you know, have something. They might learn the benefits.
It's a good. Okay, it's a good. It's a good gift. I think it's a gift for couples too. Okay, so what are. Okay, so tell me, like, how you. What are some trends right now? I know you have some. Two new toys out the one.
I have three.
Oh, the remote. Okay, Right. The remote control.
So I have the remote. I have these new remotes. So this is the dua, and this is the new. We're talking about the butt. So this is the derriere toy. And then the dua is worn internally. So this is inserted. And then this is on, you know, worn on the outside. And they're controlled by a really fun remote.
Looks like a hook.
Like something you can put on the.
Wall to hang your coat.
This goes. Wait, this goes inside? Yeah, this goes in her vagina. Watch this. This goes inside.
Okay. For those of you can't watch.
Okay, so this. This goes inside of a vagina. It's a bulbous part. And then the. Then it's like a C shape.
Yeah.
And then like a clip. It looks like a clip. A clip for your clit, A clip for your clip. This goes on her clitoris. And so she Again, it's G spot and clitoral. But it's like, it's like plywood. It's amazing. But it has friggin remote control.
So I want to just have you turn this.
These are clearly made for wearing outside the house, right?
Yes, that's the deal. You go on a special date, your partner calls.
It's gonna take so long. I'm gonna be on the subway for four hours.
Or take it by myself. Exactly. On a road trip. I actually am going on a road trip.
Okay, not while driving though kids.
We're get you one too. Because the magic of this is like we have a really different looking remote. It's actually paired with Bluetooth. So it's actually seeking the toy right now. Can feel it.
Oh my God.
So it's found it, it's paired it. And then you control it by turning the top.
Oh my God.
The speeds here. And then you can change pulsation patterns on it too by pressing down on the top. And that's gonna rotate through the pulsation.
What's the range on that thing?
What is the range?
You know, I'm not 100% sure.
Can I watch Could Anderson hockey out in the front room and then just be, you know, doing that for my ladies?
Oh yeah, for sure. Your wife, he wants it now because.
I'm exceptionally lazy these days. Eat a sandwich, watch the all guy.
Has to do is he has the remote control in one hand and he has to have the vibe. The. What's that called? The other remote control.
Yeah, the remote control in the other hand.
And yeah, she could be in another room and you could just be watching whatever and just keep vibing her.
And then it also has an app. So if you're like screw the remote.
You can go to itunes, you'll download the Jaeger app and then you can control it.
But then you could do it anywhere. If you're in a long distance relationship.
Absolutely.
See this is this new trend. So if you are a wave out of town and you're with your. You want to connect with him like so excited. You could just control on her phone. She's got to put inside her and you're controlling this. Freaking brilliant. Okay.
Yeah. And we just wanted to make ones that were like really functional because a.
Lot of yet though because this is.
Going to be out the first week of December. So this is brand new. You're actually getting. This is the dua and then this is also another remote called the Nuo.
Okay.
So we have dua or for dual and Nuo for him.
Okay, that is awesome. So I have a question. How do you test them though? Like, here's the thing with women in. But like, do you have like a study, a test group and because every, I always say everyone's different. Everyone likes something different. So how have you managed to make like everyone so perfect, all of them?
Well, I like to say I'm the vagina of our company. It's like a really, you know, just, just. Yeah, my mom and dad are so proud.
You know, let's talk about mom and dad being proud.
Yeah, you know, so it's, it starts there, but then we have an amazing group of testers. Like for instance, for the G key, which is a G spot vibrator, we didn't really talk about too much. We had access to data from the European gynecological Association. So we have metrics of over 10,000 women's bodies. So we actually, this is built on female physiology, on female anatomy.
That's contour bends. I love contour.
To all sorts of different women's bodies. So, you know, we, we have a wide test group and I would say some of the leading sex educators.
Sorry, don't make vagina wide jokes on my show. I'm prolifically correct.
Go ahead, I'm going right along with you. And so we have these great doctors, great people interested in the products that are really available and accessible to test these. So it's a pretty rigorous process to kind of really get people's feedback. We make edits to the toys and always are improving them.
Because I remember I saw you, I love, you're so meticulous. When I saw you in Vegas, the toy show, you kind of show me a prototype. You're like, but I think it's a little too big. Like, you know, you're still tweaking up to the last meeting.
We're a small company and, you know, essentially we have a very small team that all communicates with one another. And that's kind of the gorgeous vaginas and penises.
No, no. Does your vagina lead the meeting?
My vagina leads the meeting a lot of the time. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Because I think, you know, one of the things I wanted to say is there's a lot of men out there designing vibrators and there's not that many women.
You're like the only one I know.
Well, there's a couple other out there, but yeah, but it's, you know, so you see all these vibrators with like these like bells and whistles that don't don't do anything for you, really. There's just, like, a fashion. And I think you see a lot more design toys now that are gorgeous, but they might also not have the function down. So I think, you know, we're coming from a educational perspective, but also trying to give you something that's aesthetically beautiful and gorgeous and actually works and fits with your body.
Everyone I've ever recommended. But one more thing I want to say real quickly because this is really important. So. Okay. You know, I always talk about doing Kegel exercises, and I have an iPhone app called Kegel Camp.
So here's the new one, right?
It's for men and for women. Men and women. If you don't know what Kegel is, if this is your first time tuning In, I have 200.
She's got Christmas ornaments.
I've got 400 episodes on iTunes. But anyway, Kegel exercises, men and women, helps you have stronger orgasms. There's actually weights for your vagina. And this is no BS friggin thing. These work. So let's talk about these.
I wanted to give you the new ones because this is the Omni Plus.
These are weights for your vagina to work your Kegels. And my app is called Kegel Camp. You download it, it reminds you to do them every day, and then you put in these in your vagina. Okay, go ahead. How does it work?
So these are done. Basically, it's like a progressive stepping stone. So with our products, like, we have one. We have basically four styles.
Okay.
So we have one that's large and that, like, has. I don't know if you can hear this, but it has, like, intense rumble inside. Like, Benoit balls is the buzzword.
Right?
Ben Walls, 50 Shades of Gray.
Don't do shit. Sorry. Don't do anything.
Yeah, but why was it 50 shades of gray? Freaked out about the Benoit balls. Everyone's like, are those Benoit balls?
Yeah, People went nuts because it's, you.
Know, it's like she put them inside her vagina.
Yeah, exactly. And. But these are, like, ones that'll actually work pleasurable and are exercising at the same time. So, like, you know, basically, we sold out of these. Totally, like, wildly, wildly popular. And they're hard to keep in stock because we sell them in a set of three. So it's a progressive, like, stepping stone. We have one, two, and three.
And they're all different weights, so we.
Can see all different.
Lighter.
Yeah. So this one, I mean, it depends on your goal, whether you're looking to tighten or you're Looking to kind of increase muscle. You know, the pubicis muscles are so important. We talk about it all the time for incontinence, post pregnancy, at any stage of life.
Stronger orgasms.
Stronger orgasms. I mean, what could be bad about a stronger orgasm?
So what. It looks like the size of a golf ball. It's got like a string on the end of it.
Yeah, exactly. It has weight on it and it looks like a golf ball and has string. Right.
So this is inserted. I know, the golf ball. Yes. So this is inserted up in the vagina.
You put the ball part up inside.
The ball in here. And then we have the cord for easy retrieving. So it's all a silicone piece and so it's easy.
Oh, so you're squeezing that like a tennis ball in your hand.
Exactly.
Squeezing your muscles and it feels really good.
It makes perfect sense now.
And this one has. So it has a ball inside that rumble. So the kinetic energy engages the pubicis muscles and gets everything going and tightening. Then we graduate up to the second one, which has a little bit of rumble and a heavier weight again inside. And you're doing like clenches. You're doing reps with your.
With your pubic locus. So you do the exercises while you have the weights in it make stronger. Which I've done, but also I've heard, and if you just wear them during the day, it works them out.
Anyway, I was like doing this, like, got on the, you know, got on the Stairmaster, like going. I mean, it's awesome. Like you can put it in, you can forget about it. And your body's working. You know, it's. Reckon it makes. It's Kegel.
It's like doing Kegel's light. Yeah, yeah, Kegels light.
Emily can actually pull a small Volkswagen Bug down the street with her vagina.
I think I can too.
Absolutely.
So talk about the pleasure part of them, because I haven't experienced pleasure. I've worn them and they feel like.
It feels good and I like it's good and stuff. But yeah, I mean, you know, that's a mix bag. Some, you know, some women love vibration. Some women are like, absolutely. No way am I putting vibration near me at all.
But those don't vibrate.
These don't vibrate. But the rumble.
The rumble.
My father, like a non vibrator user, like, the rumble could be. Could be it. You know, some people just love that sensation of like the movement and stuff, personally. And then two, the stronger you get the pubicis muscles. If you're doing a bunch of Kegels, it starts to feel really good.
Exactly. That's what.
So that's the thing. So that's, you know, and that's with the heavyweights, too, because these are like, you know, this is like your literally. It's literally a barbell. So it's inside, and you're pushing in and out, in and out. And it's, you know, it's good.
And it's meditative, too.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay, Alicia, we are going to give tonight away, people. If you go to my Instagram account, which is exwithemily, and it's hashtag ask, the hashtag really important is. Okay, that's good. Hashtag is sex toy giveaway. If there's a picture on there right now of me and Alicia holding some toys pre show. And if you put sex toy giveaway, we're gonna give away a Mimi.
Yeah, let's give away some ami, too.
The amis are the Kegel ball. Okay, so you're gonna. We're gonna give an Ami to one person and a Mimi.
And because you were talking about the reindeer, like, I think we can give away a few.
A Fifi, too.
Yeah, we can give away a FIFA.
Oh, my God, it's Christmas.
Okay.
We're giving away a freaking good shit. So go to my Instagram at Saxwith Emily, and if for some reason you don't have Instagram, you can email me feedbackexwithelmy.com, but that's your backup resort.
Right?
Okay, everyone. Alicia, I know so much to say.
And talk to you.
I know you.
Love you, too.
Also, if anyone wants to find any of the stuff, it's at Jeju, that's J E J O U E dot com. And then also JJOO on Twitter.
Anything else on Twitter, and we're jaejoo on Facebook. Yeah.
And this will all be on my website.
It'll be all on the website. And you can purchase, you know, look at and find out all this information on the website. So thank you so much for having me.
Emily, I love seeing you. I'll see you soon. We'll talk soon. All right.
That picture that you're talking about, what are you guys doing in that picture?
We are molesting her. No, it's Terra.
You're kind of oraling.
No, here's the thing. You got to see the picture, because I am.
We did put him right up to her mouth.
We did, but we didn't put them in her mouth. What happened was she came in and Madison, my assistant producer, said, oh, my God, is that your traveling sex toy case? Because she rolls out this beautiful case with these toys. And that's what happened. And that's when the picture happened. That's when we decided, oh, that's the case.
That's totally like a serial killer case when he has all his knives in it.
That's Dexter's, but it's like Dexter's for sex toys.
Yeah. And like, she was like, oh, my God, we need that. Okay, so sexter.
Somebody just said, I hope you guys.
All, you know, learn this and learn a little bit more about sex toys. And you got excited. Okay, so next, I'm gonna leave these.
Out for you to play with.
Oh, good. Do you know that I will play with them all night long?
Well, I mean, that's. I can't stop touching them. This one especially.
Well, this is my baby. Okay, everyone, when we come back, I'm very excited. Also, my Nexus, like I said, we're having, like, so doubly, doubly the fun, double the fun. Tonight we have Alexander Tweeden from By Felipe and. Hey, guys, if you're listening and you, you know, a lot of you are online dating now, you might be sending some messages that are a little bit inappropriate, some sexting, some things. We're gonna tell you what to do, what not to do. Her site is brilliant. It's all blown up. And she'll be here right after a word from my amazing sponsors who I love, love, love. Okay, here's the deal. You know how we are talking a lot about sex toys on the show today for women, and we're saying also there are some for men, but the Fleshlight is actually the number one toy for men as a masturbation sleeve. You can use it on your own because women have so many toys to choose from. And men, we're starting to bring you more. But the Fleshlight is the one that's made for you if you actually simulates the feeling of real sex. It's a masturbation sleeve. So imagine that the material was developed by NASA and it's engineered to look and feel like the real deal. And I've given it some people, Anderson, they say it's better than sex.
Did NASA have any idea what they're developing?
Probably not. They were probably trying to invent something for mankind. But this, it is for mankind, and it is for mankind, and it's actually the most important thing that they could develop. And so, you know, I've given to people and there's not been one guy that I've given it to. Including Madison's boyfriend. Thanks, Madison. I'm cool when I talk about your sex life. Right? Because she works for you.
She just throws it on its pillow when she's not in the mood.
Dude, it's the. It's kind of like. It's kind of like the lazy remote control vibe. Not lazy, but. But the. The new is that if you're in one room, it's the same thing with. Sometimes Madison's like, I don't have sex with my boyfriend. She's like, go use the Fleshlight. Because it's just like she's having sex, but she's not. It's fine. Okay, so everyone, here's the deal. My people at Fleshlight love you and I love you. And so this month, you can get, for a limited time, you'll get the Fleshlight and the flower Flesh lube, which is award winning. So if you could, it would be great if you go to sexwithemily.com, click on the Fleshlight banner, buy yourself a Fleshlight, and put in code Emily, and you'll get the free lube.
That lube is kosher too. You should say that.
It's kosher lube. Yeah.
It's been blessed by rabbi.
Really?
Yeah.
Did you just make that up?
Like the lube that was blessed by a priest?
Exactly. I don't want to discriminate. Right. It's for everyone. But speaking of blessed, I am blessed. I'm excited to actually tell you about also Down Under Comfort. So this is a product I created with my partner, Tony. Emily and Tony, as it is called.
If you told me this one was created by NASA, I would have believed that. This is amazing that it turns into a powder like that.
I know. And the thing is that it's called Down Under. So, yes, it's used for, you know, to keep fresh and dry your down unders. You know, men use it on their balls. Women use it in your lower breasts, their back, anywhere you sweat. And the thing about it is, talcum powder is actually messy. It's carcinogenic. It not good for you. This stuff is vegan. It's a cream to a powder formula. You love it, right? You love it. And Men's Health voted it the number one product that you didn't know you needed. And then say, a woman tweeted me, she's like, down Under Comfort's not for men. It's amazing. People freak out about it. They love it. Like, everyone hears about it, because when.
You guys created it, you're like, oh, because men are stinky. But you know what? The ladies like it just.
No, no, no. We knew that. But when it's called down under, we got to talk about the balls. But women, I give it to all my women friends and they're obsessed. I use it every day. So anyway, it's the kind of product that you never thought you needed until you had it, right, Anderson? So everyone should check it out. Go to emilyandtoni.com, use code EMILY and you get 20% off of down under comfort. That's emilyandtony.com and check it. You'll love it, because why wouldn't ya? Okay. Hi. My next guest here, Alexandra Tweeden. Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you.
This is such an exciting night because I love everything that you're doing. Tell me. Okay. Tell me about yourself. I'm not into like the bio. Tell me about you. Tell me about what you're doing here, your site, all that.
How would you describe yourself and how you got involved in this crazy Internet viral madness which is everyone's dream right now?
Well, I'm a longtime feminist, grew up in a feminist household.
And I went to journalism school, moved out to LA, interned at Ms. Magazine. And I love Ms. Magazine.
Is it still, I mean, I mean, it is. I love it.
It's still.
Still being published.
I feel like I'm such a feminist. I don't have to talk about that I'm a feminist anymore, but I get it.
Yeah.
Okay, go ahead.
And I've been online dating on and off since 2010.
So you put in four years, and when you say online dating, like everywhere.
All different sites, I started off on.
OkCupid and Gateway.
Yeah.
And that's. I mean, when Tinder came out, like, I don't know, two years ago.
Is it been two years? Okay. Yeah.
So I think I've been on Tinder for like a year and a half. Okay. But yeah, I mean, in that time I had like a two and a half year relationship.
Okay.
That I. We met each other on OkCupid, so.
Okay, so it works. It can work. People can find love. Okay, so you got very interested in that, in online dating. And then you have. Just how long ago did you create. By Felipe. Bye. Felipe on Instagram. F E, L, I P E at by Felipe. Or is there an underscore? No, just add by. Okay. So tell me about the brainchild, how you came up with that.
Yeah, it came out of a conversation on Facebook. It was only about a month ago.
Oh, my God. I was saying, I was saying was like, yeah, that's crazy. Now you have 250,000 followers on Instagram. Yeah. Amazing.
Okay, so on. There's a discussion on Facebook, someone posted message that they had received from someone on OkCupid. And it was kind of just like, hey, like, I want to talk to you, but I'm scared. Blah, blah, blah. I don't know. And then 12 hours later, he was just like, asshole.
Because she didn't respond.
Yeah, because she didn't respond. And so I saw that and I laughed.
It's like a screen grab of conversation. Okay.
And I thought it was funny. And I was like, hey, you know, I've gotten a message like that too, recently. And that week I had gotten a message, this guy had copied and pasted the same, like, long spiel message to me three times in, like, a month.
And he messaged you three times?
Yeah.
Okay.
Just the same, like, hey, this is. I'm a lawyer, and blah, blah, blah, want to hang out. And I think it's actually the first post on the Instagram. And finally he was like, do you want to chat? And I said, no after the third time.
Right.
And then. Then he comes back and says, wtf? Why would you respond if you weren't interested? Like, what's wrong with you? And there's like, expletives and.
Right. And I was like, they get so angry. That's about. It's kind of about. And I have one of your tweets here. Women are disappoint, disproportionately targeted and harassed online in real life because they are women. That's why Bi Felipe was created. So that's kind of your mission, because these men. And you've got. I mean, I'm wondering how many submissions, because I've gotten them too.
Yeah.
So how many submissions do you get day from. From women?
It's like a constant stream, like, ever since. Well, it really went big when buzzfeed picked it up.
Okay.
And so that day, I got, like, a hundred thousand followers.
Oh, my God. That's a dream.
Yeah. So after that, it's kind of just been a constant stream of submissions, and.
It happens every five minutes. If you're on dating, like, you're gonna get some angry. I've gotten some of the. I was on Tinder. I actually just started Tinder again, But we'll get to that in a minute. But so. So you're just getting this angry. Are there ever any that are too awful that you can't post?
Yeah, there are.
So it's all just men. Who is it? Men that are Free. So really it's more like in the general theme of them all, that it's women who don't. They don't respond to the guy. The guy emails him, hey, we matched or whatever. Hey, you look really cute. Doesn't respond. Doesn't respond. And then he's like, you're a bitch or whatever. Yeah. Or angry.
Yeah. Or sometimes they respond and they're like, hey, I don't think we're a match. Sorry. Or something like, then the guy polite.
Well, I don't.
Well, you're fat anyway.
Right? They attack the women.
Yeah.
Is it because if this. Of this, this. This primal fear of rejection that so many men have and they haven't. Never. Because previously they wouldn't have a place like this where they would just be home sulking, maybe. Or they. Yeah, they do. I mean, I think BB guns at horses.
It's not. It's not only online dating.
Yeah.
It's like I've gotten. I get like text. Text message submissions or people that have met already in real life or Facebook messages.
So it can be anything.
It's anything.
Oh, I've got so many for you.
Yeah. Like, this is. I really think it's an extension of what happens when women are just walking down the street. Like when you're a woman and you're walking down the street in the city, you get catcalled. And sometimes the guys will do this.
And they'll be like, cat calling video thing. If you see that.
And like, they'll be like, hey, smile at me. And then if you don't, they're like, oh, you're stuck up anyway.
Right? That's true. That's true. So it's kind of like the construction workers move down to the online dating sites. Every man is like a construction worker yelling at you on the online dating site. I think that's, you know, wherever. That's interesting though, because I've got some. I actually am sort of an archivist archivalist of. I. I have every single email I've ever received, every card I've ever. Like, I used to get like, cards and stuff when people did that. And I save voicemails and I save tweets, I think, and texts too, of like just all my relationships. Because I think there's some of the. This great dialogue in there. And it is sort of a way, if you look through your text, that it is sort of a way of like archiving our lives now and what we, you know, it's our history. No one's like writing letters anymore. You Know, you can see like a whole relationship and how it unspirals on the thing. You're like, but two days ago you love me and now you think, yeah.
It'S an immortalized version of cat calling.
It is exactly. Okay, so what has been the response? So, so have you, as any people get angry. Like, the guys are like, why? Like you're putting the guys names there or you're.
Yeah, I mean, I don't put up like their phone numbers.
No.
Right. Yeah, yeah, people. I've gotten some messages from guys that are angry.
I get a lot of thank you messages from guys and girls. Guys saying like, hey, I didn't know this was a thing. Like, I had no idea. Thank you.
Yeah. Okay. But I wonder if any guys. They didn't know, so. But I wonder if any of the guys read it that do that and thought, okay, I'll start treating women like humans and lash out. Because really, when they're lashing out of you, they've never met you. It's every woman who's ever rejected them. Yeah. It's not about you, but it's still hate. Yeah, No, I have actually gotten sexting.
I got a message from a guy who said, I used to. I. I'm one of these people that you like. He wasn't featured, but he was like, I have definitely like messaged women angry messages like this. And he was like, I want to thank you because I realized that it's a problem with me and it's not their fault and I want to be a better person.
Right. You have a convert. I'm sure you have many. That's why we live. Right? That's great. That's what you're changing it.
So I mean, if just one guy says that, I mean, mission accomplished.
Right. And also they say in radio, what do they say? Anderson, have you heard this? Like, for every 10 letters you get about something, there's like another thousand people.
Yeah. They say, like, for every one person that calls, there's like 10,000 that are listening.
Yeah, it's something like that. It's straight. It's true. So whenever I get like an email complaint or two in a row from someone, not that I ever get them, if I ever do, you know that it's like 10,000. The people. There's so many more people that. Because who actually sits down and writes, yeah. Which actually, I hope you all email me@feedbackexwithelmy.com with all your questions, concerns, and things that you love. So that's amazing. So people are paying attention. To this. Now, what do you think, though, about. About online dating still? I mean, what are some of your rules? Like, what would be the more proper response? Just if she says, I don't think we're a match, he should just say, okay, thanks. Like, do you think he should even respond then?
Or, I mean, he can say something nice or just don't respond.
Right. Okay.
There's just anything not mean, Right, Exactly.
So some of these things, though, are first messages too, right? Like, a lot of them are just like, hey, you know, I think you're hot. Here's my dick or something.
Right.
Like, inappropriate. So what would you say is like the ultimate first message if you're dating online?
Definitely just messaging something about one of their interests or commenting on, I don't know, anything.
Her rack. Just kidding. Don't do that. Don't comment on her looks.
No, don't go. Don't immediately go for looks. Because this is what we do. We just roll our eyes, like, so hard.
You think I'm cute. Oh, I had a guy, like, on Tinder because I just reopened my Tinder experience. I shut it down for a while, and I did recently open up again. But some guy's like, hi, I think you're cute. I'm like, well, obviously we match. We're cute. Can you come up with something? Not like, I wouldn't. I did message him back. Anderson.
What?
He's asking question. I did message him. I did not message that guy back because I just felt like. And it felt like it would come out forever, but it kind of is. It's like, come up with something. I don't know.
I mean, he's probably just copying and pasting it too.
Exactly. That's what I hear, too, on Tinder. So if you guys don't know what Tinder is by now, I mean, we talk about it. Oh, I actually. I had one Tinder date. It was a blind Tinder date I had on the show.
Oh, my God.
And it was a full on real date.
You guys turn in a rape. It was really bad.
No. You could check out the episode. It's like, called Emily's Blind Tinder Date or something creative like that.
I like him a lot more than Emily did, unfortunately.
I know Anderson. I never met him. So literally, it was blind. He came in, they met him, and then they brought him in. We had wine. It was a whole date. And. But it's funny because then I just. I started because it's kind of like a game. Tinder. You swipe left, you swipe right I mean, it's all it is. You're seeing pictures and then you get into it and then, you know, you get a match. And then, I don't know, then I got a lot of people responding and then I heard that guys are just liking everybody. So you almost. Is that true? They say like, like, like you might match.
I think a lot of guys just swipe right for literally everyone.
Okay.
And then they wait for the woman to message them.
That's what I've heard too. So that's. Okay. So that's Tinder. But this is what I was gonna tell you about Tinder is that I just. So I revisited after my blind Tinder date just because I thought everyone I've gone out with, which I still think we actually just did a show about this. But, like, dating in the real world is great. World is great too. And since I moved to la, most of the people I've dated been like, fix up. Because I work all the time and I'm not out as much as I should be. And I thought, well, you know, Tinder isn't, you know, you can meets nice people sometimes and it's just a hookup app and you might meet a friend or whatever. So I went back on it and I got a match just today. And this guy, actually, Anderson, this guy emailed me. I mean, he said. I liked what he said in the first message. It showed that he had read it. It was something clever. We went back and forth. But the interesting thing is that it shows you. So on Tinder, you just really just put in the age range you're looking for and then the. How many miles, the geography, geographic, location, desirability. But they also shows you how many Facebook friends you have in common, if you happen to have Facebook friends. So apparently, and I'm so busy, like I forget to check the messages. People messaged me like a week ago. We had like three friends in common, exchange numbers. He calls me, and then he called me to call, pick up the phone, and he's like, oh, we have these three friends. And I say myself, God, I didn't even look like I just said yes. This guy, I gave him my number. I didn't. And he, like, researched like he does, like most people would. Yeah, but I'm so goddamn busy. Then he was talking to me of what he does and he's like, oh, your podcast. I'm like, oh, God, he's already googled me and knows what I did. But that's what people do because I'm just. I probably should have like, yeah, yeah. Anyway, not that I would have. I probably would have gotten around to it, but it was interesting because it actually was a nice call and I'm gonna go out with them. And so it's not like I'm gonna go out with him and have sex with him. I mean, who knows? You could.
No, of course.
You know, what I'm saying is everyone says it's just a hookup thing or whatever. He was actually one of the nice guys. But I have had guys on Tinder who I don't get back to who go crazy.
Every guy, they're looking to get laid. But I would think that the guys that are on. On Tinder are looking for one night stands because there's so many other dating sites you can go on, right?
No, it's not. Some people are.
They're looking for girls that are on Tinder who are probably gonna be more down for the.
For the cause I think there's. There's a mix of everything. Like, some people are looking for one night stands and some people aren't.
And you'll know who those people are.
Yeah, you don't know.
But I'm just saying there's so many dating sites. There's like OkCupid.
But people have one night stands on OkCupid all the time.
I know, but Tinder is kind of when you're going in the pool that it' known for. I think you're gonna find that.
I don't know. I haven't found that.
I'm thinking about you as like my little sister Em. And I don't like that you're giving strangers your number. I don't like it.
He seemed.
You should have the date here again. I'll make sure the guy's okay.
Oh, my God. Should we do a second Tinder date perhaps?
Yeah, I'll size him up.
Dude, this is the best idea ever. We'll do it next week because I didn't have time to see. Oh, so then I was showing. I don't want to get into it. I was running out of, you know, me with my bags leaving the house. I was talking to him.
She's a bag lady.
And I have no. I have no time for the next week. I'm reading in my schedule. He doesn't even know me. I'm like, not exactly what it is. Like Tuesday. No, Monday. Oh, that. And I'm like. He's like, like, you seem really busy. I'm like, I kind of am. So maybe I'll just have him come to the show. Which is why I had the other Tinder date come in, because I never had time. Okay, so here's my question for you. Is there any telltale signs that a guy or a woman is going to be kind of creepy? Like, I wonder if you analyzed all the responses, if there was something in their profiles that showed that they were going to be an angry person.
I mean, actually. Okay, so personally, the only bi. I've had three. I've only posted three by Felipe Moments personally, and they've all come from OkCupid.
Interesting.
Okay. I feel like I'm kind of pretty picky on. On Tinder. Like, if you have like a shirtless picture, I'm like, no, let's rule.
Okay, let's talk about the deal breaker. Right On Tinder. So. So shirtless. No. I always think if everyone's drinking, though, they're drinking wine.
Yeah, I don't. I don't mind.
I don't mind. No, but I don't mind when they have like two, like huge. Okay, you're looking at me. I drink wine too. But every guy's holding alcohol.
That's really the thing. I. I'm married. I've never been on Tinder, but I, you know, I know about it. I work on Loveline, I hear, take selfies of themselves drinking. Like, hey, here's me what I look like on a date while drinking across the street.
Which I often do. But back to the creepy telltale signs. Because you were saying Mostly you're in OkCupid, but then you were saying that. Are there any signs that you have seen or no, you just. It just could be anyone looking.
I think it could be anyone. Okay. Usually I. I don't know.
Okay. I didn't know if you were about to say something there. Okay, so back to the things that you see. A picture that you see. This is interesting for men and for women. But what. And it's different for everyone. Like, you might see a guy with a dog and be like, oh my God, I love him. And I'd be like, I hate dogs. Which I don't. But you know what I'm saying. But is there anything you. That's a universal. Like most women are going to keep swiping, like not picking guy.
Are there certain don'ts definitely have more than one picture have on any.
Across any profile?
Yeah.
Yeah. One picture does not.
If it's one picture, I'm like, nope. I don't know. It's weird.
I agree.
Or if it's like fuzzy pictures or like, if they don't have A profile picture is the worst.
The worst. That's just saying, like, I don't want to be seen. I don't even love myself.
And that's creepy. I don't know.
Right, right. And then what about the ones where it's like a picture with him and a girl, he and a girl who's clearly not his mother or sister, and you're like, oh, so you already have a girlfriend and now you're online looking for a girlfriend?
Yeah. That's weird.
It's kind of weird when they do that.
Anything? I'm trying to think of what else. I don't like the. I don't know. I just started again just because I was bored. I mean, that's the thing about Tinder. It's kind of like a game. You, like, swipe a few times.
It's such a good time waster.
It's the best time waster ever. So it's funny. But so. So do you think that people are kind of hiding behind social media right now and they're kind of losing communication skills because they don't really have to go out in the real world and meet people a lot. Not everyone, but a lot of people are behind their computers and phones.
Yes. Like, going out, no one pays attention to anyone else. Cause they're always just looking at their phone. They always have their face on their phone. And they don't.
Absolutely.
You'll try to maybe hit on someone in a bar and they don't even notice you.
They're like, I'm taking a selfie. Yeah, please leave me alone. No, but it's true. I was at. My friend told me this. He's like, at this club in LA somewhere, all these hot chicks like, that were sitting on a couch the whole night. He's like. And I wanted to. Like, we were kind of talking to him, but every five minutes they were readjusting themselves and taking another selfie. And it's like. And you know, these women were single, but we all are obsessed with our phones and documenting what's happening. We're not. It's like the definition of not being in the moment.
Yeah.
And yeah, my time.
No one in my generation, like, meets in public. Hardly. Like, it's weird.
Really. Cause you're, like, walking into, like, polls with looking at your phone. Or do you think that it's because people don't. Guys aren't even talking. They're just not approaching. Forget the phone. Do you think in general, men aren't even, like, doing the approach? Like, hey, what are you doing? Like, do a guy ever just say hi to you when you're waiting in line for coffee?
Hardly ever. I can maybe count on, like, one hand.
See, I think that people are, like, fearful of it.
Yeah.
So now all that men have always been afraid, and women, I should say, as feminists, as we are, of rejection, no one likes it. And I always tell guys, you know, who call into the show or, you know, email, and they're like, I'm so afraid of approaching women. It's a real fear that men have, like, huge. Like, men like, shutter in the corner for years of their lives not being able to talk to women. But eventually, hopefully, I try to help them get through it. And I'm like, it's like a muscle that you have to exercise, like your vagina.
I've been working on trying to go up to guys more.
You should.
And if I see someone on Tinder or something that I like, I will try to message them. And you know what? It's not very good odds for women either, because I'll message maybe, like 10 people and maybe two will respond.
Really?
Yeah. Do you think it's because. And these are because you made the first move?
I don't know. I think. I think it's a lot of the guys just do a swipe, right, and see what.
They're not even looking at the picture. They're, like, staring at the tv, just swiping, swiping.
Hey, guys. Rune's in here saying he'd kill for the 10. The 2 to 10 ratio. He'd kill for it.
Rune, who is my amazing. Rune, who's operating the camera and does so many other things, and his podcast called Pretty Outcast.
And then the other eight that don't respond to you say horrible things about them.
You go, you asshole. I bet your penis is smaller than this projection.
Thanks for not hooking me up with me at Small Dicks. Right?
If she did that, that would be just anti by Felipe. I want to talk to you about that though, too, because I think that this. That women.
Should be. Why not? Can't women approach men? And I always thought like that initially when I first started dating a while ago, was that, like, men should always make the first move. And I don't want to put myself out there. And that if you actually take away that first move from them, it's kind of like this. It's almost like a. It's a men's biology to want to hunt and gather and kill. Like they're the ones who went after you. And then you're taking away the chase. But that's just such an antiquated view because there's so many men who are like, I want to talk to women, but I'm so afraid, and they're so. They're so thankful if a woman approaches them.
Yeah, I hope so.
Yeah. So you got to practice talking.
I'm just going with that idea.
It's true. No, it's true, though. I think it's really true. In fact, I have a lot of males who write in and friends that are so relieved that they're not always in charge, because men have a lot of pressure on them that they got. They gotta make the move. They gotta plan the date.
Oftentimes, I encourage my friends to, like, hit. If you, like, match with a hot guy on Tinder, just message him, like, what source that's gonna happen? He's not gonna message back.
What is the Andy kitty? Right? Exactly. And you know what rejection it's all about. I mean, I believe especially working in entertainment business, it's like. It's all about rejection. And, like, you just have to. It's like, oh, another rejection. You just. You actually like anything. Like jealousy or, you know, everything heals. It heals. And you can learn to kind of transcend these things. So rejection's like. And I always tell men and women that, like, we're gonna get rejected, we're gonna get hurt. It's gonna feel bad, vulnerable. But if you keep going at it, like, you keep. You know how you get up, right? So you get knocked down, you keep going, and you're gonna find someone. You're gonna find that person.
Yeah, right.
You still have hope. Are you dating single?
I'm single.
Fun. So what site are you using now?
I have it OkCupid, and I have a Tinder account.
Just go back and forth. What's the bet? You had, like, a great Tinder date or great on. What's your best online date? What happened?
I've met tons of great guys online. Like, I've met a lot of really, really good guys. And.
Me and my roommate actually, like, we go on a lot of Tinder dates. And, like, we've. We've just, like, become friends with some of them do, like, even if it's not a romantic thing now.
How does that happen? Are you sitting there at dinner, whatever, drinks, and you're like, okay, yeah. Are you instantly, like, we're just gonna be buds, you know? Do you talk about it Just kind of obvious. There's no chemistry.
It's usually kind of, like, after the fact like, maybe, like, we'll text later and be like, I don't know how I feel about this, but, like, let's be friends.
I agree. And I actually. I think that's. That's what I always say to people, is that even if you go on, like, a bad day or you go on a date that you think is. I'm not sure if I'm into this person either. A, you might be. So you shouldn't just judge people by, you know, he doesn't have all these things or she doesn't. Because you never know until you meet someone in person. You might have chemistry, but even if you don't, it could be a friend. They become friends. Actually, men and women can be friends, and then you might be one of their friends. It happens all the time. I actually have had friends who, like, I went on this date, Emily. It's not for me. It's for you. And I went out with the guy, you know, all the time. So people are meeting online. That's the second most common way. But the first most common way people are meeting in general is through family and friends. So that's still, you know, building your network. Yeah. You know, maybe they'll give you a ride to the airport if they're a good friend. Who knows?
Yeah.
Yeah. I love it. So do you think that most. Or most people that you know on some sort of dating site.
Yeah, I feel like everyone I know has. Has. Is on Tinder. Like, everyone's.
And do you believe that it's a hookup site? More so than not? My friend. Guy. Friend calls it a blowjob dispensary. Apparently, he's getting lucky all the time. He's literally like, 10. Or date blowjob, Tinder. Date, blowjob. Like, what? No, he's cute, but I just. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Like, I don't understand.
Yeah. And you're giving those guys your number.
He's a friend of mine.
I think it's. It's both. If you want to hook up, there's people that are down for that. If you want a relationship, there are people that are down for that.
I totally agree. I totally. It's not like you have to, like.
You know, just get it out of the way before, like, hey, like, the blowjob or the.
I'm not hooking up with you.
Like, before I meet up with them, I'm like, what are you looking for before we meet up?
Did you text them before? Yeah. That's good. And if they're, like, just a good Time you're like, okay, yeah, like, I'm.
Not looking for anything serious. Then you know what you're in for.
You still go out with the guy that says that, though? Depends on what mode you're in. Okay, well, I have a question for you because this week I was interviewed, it's interesting, by two different publications by Women's Health Health and Elite Daily. And they were both about the same about the casual sex phenomenon. And this is all on my website as well. You can check it out. Oh, and if you sign up for my newsletter, you would have gotten it, which you totally should. The Woman's Health piece was called what you need to know before casual hookup. And they asked my advice how to make sure your casual encounter is safe and satisfying. But it's interesting because on the other side, the Elite Daily wanted to know five reasons women are stuck in a never ending, never ending cycle of almost boyfriends. So it's about this whole, like. So basically, these two articles cover the basics of this cultural conundrum. If you're gonna have casual sex, you might as well enjoy it. But if you find yourself wanting out of this relationship limbo, you know, then it's up to you to admit that you want more. So. So in a way, it's like, here's how. Because my whole thing in the Women's Health piece was like, okay, you're gonna have casual sex. And women typically don't. A lot of women don't orgasm with partners unless they're like, trusted partners or have the best sex of their life. I'm like, but if you're gonna do it, here's some, you know, to just have fun. If you know you're not gonna have an orgasm, then try this. You know what? I don't know what the tips are here. I'll tell you. Whatever. A few things were like, you know.
Oh, funny. Okay, like, use your go to moves so you know you can't just like. If you know that you need to be on top, then you should have no problem getting on top. Don't be afraid to try something new if you know that it's just a hookup. And bring your own condoms. Totally have diseases spread. Do you carry condoms?
Condoms? I have one in my purse of things.
See, I love you. We've been talking about this in the show. I don't understand women. Every woman should be armed with condoms because you know that he's gonna. A lot of men are like, I don't have it. They don't fit me.
A lot of my Friends are like, I don't carry them because then I'll jinx myself.
I'll think I'm still. Or they think I might judge me or think I'm a slut kind of thing.
Or I. My friends don't think that. They're like, if I bring condoms, I'm definitely not getting weight because I. Oh.
It'Ll jinx it across the counter. But that's not a reason to. Because then you get diseases.
And I'm like, you guys, that's dumb.
Okay, Also, I say follow up the two drink rule. I know people aren't gonna listen to me, but you really shouldn't get too drunk. But then here's the whole almost boyfriend. I was. When the reporter was interviewing me, I was like, you mean friends with benefits? And she's like, well, yeah, but it's kind of like. It's the girl who's been stuck in this frustrating cycle, she says, who has almost boyfriends. And she talks about like lots of dates, no dinners, and you know, like, do you know, do you know what it is? Like, you want? What is it? And I. The reason why she asked me is why it's this never ending cycle. As I was saying is that first of all, there's so many. Tell me what you think about this. That. Because you know what I'm saying, it's the casual relationship. You kind of want more, but then he's not asking for more, you're not asking for more. And then you never really go out, but you just hook up.
Oh, yeah. It's so common.
But why do you think that is right now? Because it hasn't always been this way.
I don't know. I. I have no idea. But I feel like guys in my generation.
And you're like in your 20s.
Yeah, I'm 27. I feel like none of them want to settle down or like have, have like an actual relationship. They just want to like hook up and see how long they can do that for. And then the girl wants to go along with it and just be like, I'm a cool girl. Yeah, sure.
Right. Until she's like, who else is hanging with?
And then.
Right. But actually they're not. So I said, I said, there's so many. First I said, there's so many options out there.
Yeah.
That it's kind of like everyone's looking for the bigger, better deal. So they think, well, why should I settle this? She was great. I loved her. He was great. We had a wonderful time. But I came home and there were 16 new Tinder matches.
Yeah.
And then I also thought, like, that there's no role models, that your friends don't have boyfriends either. You don't. Your friends, your girlfriends, your guy friends don't have girlfriends. So if you don't see people dating, why would you say, let's commit and date? Yeah. So you don't even see that. And then I also think that people, you know, that neither men or women are stepping up, that they're kind of. I was thinking that neither one are taking the masculine. Tell me what you think of taking the masculine feminine role. And the women are kind of saying, guys are like, let's take it casual.
Yeah.
And the women are like, oh, that's cool. I'll do it. Like we said, they just go along with it. But I think that. I don't know, how do we change? I mean, so do you feel like you've been in that situation where you wanted more but you didn't say it?
Yeah.
And then what happens? It fizzles.
I said something, and then he was like, no, I don't think so. And I was just like, okay, well.
But then you found your answer out, and then you didn't stay in this cycle of endless boy. Of almost boyfriends, because I think also a lot of. And I don't want to keep saying women, because men do this too, but we think that they'll change. And we think, well, we're having such a good time together, and he doesn't want a boyfriend now.
But.
But girlfriend now. But, oh, I'll get him. He'll come around. And I know he's sleeping with other people, but I'll be the one. And people don't. You're not gonna get him to change unless they want to change.
Yeah. Right.
Yes. So anyway, I thought it was interesting about this whole hookup thing. And then Tinder falls right into that. Yeah. So are you thinking by Felipe is just a brilliant phenomenon? Are you thinking of expanding? Like, what's next for you? Just do another side of, like, sexts or something?
Yeah, I mean, well, there's.
Oh, I should do that.
There's straight white boys texting, which is. Is like, when guys just send sexual texts out of nowhere.
Oh, yeah, I love.
Okay, so there's that one, but that's already in.
Black dudes don't do that.
Actually, now they. They take it from. From all backgrounds. All backgrounds.
Everyone sends an inappropriate dick and no woman. Let me just say this. There is no woman on the planet who is sitting around going out, going, God, I Wish I'd get a really good dick pic right now. That'd be awesome.
Or, like, I can't wait to, like, flash out my labs to some stranger.
Yeah, exactly.
Drew's claiming that he has one for you. I don't know what that means.
Oh, God. Drew.
A little insight to a guy's brain, especially the guys that are online a lot. I was perusing some, you know, some artwork on the online the other day, and a banner ad came up.
I. E. Porn.
Yeah, a banner ad came up, and I swear to God it said, make a cam girl cry. $1. Who was that marketed? Guys. Guys are fucked up.
They want to make her cry.
Who would want to do that?
A lot of people. A lot of men. Misogynists.
Make a camera and they had a picture of a girl, like, in front of a camera crying. It's like, who the hell? I'm embarrassed to be a man so often.
I know, I know. That's what we're talking about. But we love men. I'm not saying we don't know. Giving them helpful tips. Yeah. Don't be a misogynist. If a woman doesn't get back to you, don't send an angry message because you're getting up and by Felipe and. And250,000 people. Probably be a million followers by tomorrow. We'll see.
They're all going to be looking at your face and they're gonna be like.
Oh, it's like the sexual predator list almost. If you're on by Philippe. Yeah, sorry. I mean, not that extreme, but really, she puts their angry messages on. Yeah, I think it's awesome.
Ask before you send a dick pic. Yeah, just be like, hey, can I send you one?
Exactly. Okay. What other. Some other tips for that. How about women sending boob pics? No guys ever like, damn, she sent me her breasts.
No, I mean, if you get a boob pic, be really thankful for it.
Right?
Like, don't just not respond because that's really rude.
Or show all your friends immediately. Right. That's what guys usually do.
Guys turn. At least my guy friends are like, look at this. Like, they have a whole. Like, there's six women in a week who are sending them.
You got, like, really hot friends.
I do.
Hey, when you guys get dick pics, are you like. Is it like, surprise? Like, almost like the snakes in a can thing where it jumps out at you?
I scream like, if it's unsolicited.
Yeah, I've never had that phenomena.
Mike. Catherine. He sends unsolicited Dick pics all the time.
Like, I've gotten them at like 8:30 in the morning.
Like, whoa, yeah, that'll wake you up.
Breakfast sausage.
But no one. I just can't explain. We just don't want. Like, you should. You should ask. And it's not gonna be like a woman's gonna be like, I wasn't that into him. And then he sent me the most beautiful dick pic and I am in love.
They don't do anything. I mean, they're informational. They're like, oh, okay. That's how. That's what I mean.
How do you know it's even theirs?
Exactly.
Oh, my God. They're totally like knocking off other dicks for their own pics. Okay, so it is by Felipe. Yeah. F, E, L, I, P E. Alexander Tweedin. Alexandra Tweedin. Anything. What's your Twitter?
It's by E. Underscore.
Freaking underscore.
I know someone else had the original.
You used to, right? You'll buy it from him someday. So. And the next thing is you're doing.
I want to like.
Cause you're a writer.
Yeah, I want to do a book or something.
There's so much to say on this. Really?
Yeah. I actually wrote. I wrote a chapter for my friend's book, Shira Tarrant. Her book is coming out this spring called 21st century sex, and I wrote a chapter for her textbook, but I want to come out with my own book. Do like a coffee table book or something.
Of all the text messages, it's hilarious because even like those autocorrects, people love reading those because it's so how we get our new information now. So it's so relatable. I think that's great. And I wish you all the luck in the world and you should stay in touch. We should. You know, I want to hear more about what's going on with you and we will continue at your site. And I was going to say that I'm doing this.
Where. Hold on. I just sent down my entire thing. I'm going to be part of the Sexual health expo. It's January 17th and 18th and it's going to be in Los Angeles. And I'm giving away tickets to people. It's the first of its kind.
They're teaching sex workshops during the not like actual on Sex, but Sex and relationship tips workshops by sex educators parties. Be fun. I'll be there. I'll be giving a keynote speech and everyone's got to check it out. So email me feedbackexwithemily.com thank you. Anderson and everyone check out his podcast, the Film Vault. Thank you, Ruhn. Thank you, Madison. Thank you, everyone. I love you.
Top five most uncomfortable scenes and films are the scenes. A lot of mine were sex. Yeah, Lex, first date scenes.
Oh, my God. We're going to check it out. Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.
Okay.
Everything.
Okay, everyone? Thank you so much for listening to the Sex with Emily show. And as you know, we've got so many shows online that you can go to itunes. You can subscribe. I get two shows a week, so you'll never miss a show again. Also, I have to tell you about. I know I probably seemed really serene and calm to you tonight and that is because I've been hitting the reset button on my body. I was feeling sluggish. The holidays are coming up and I'm doing a new cleanse.
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