Sex with Emily: Casual, Loud and Proud

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man e here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. The girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my, the women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything. In between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you can check out all of our podcasts set up for our mailing list easily. Subscribe. Find Us everywhere Now. Find us in iTunes, Google Play, SoundCloud, Spotify. God, we're everywhere.

We're everywhere, right, Menace, I love that you're everywhere. I know you're even on Spotify. Look at you. That's like advanced stuff. I'm not even on Spotify.

You're not?

No.

I can talk to peeps.

I. I've tried. I. Oh, no. I would have done it, but I got distracted from the person that I was talking to. Somebody I used to work for actually handles the podcast department at Spotify.

I think they just take. I don't know if they maybe selective about the podcast that they take.

Yeah, I don't know now, but this was like a year ago, right? Let's see. I like that you're taking the initiative.

And I'm like, no, they came to.

Me, like, falling flat, like two years.

Ago when they were starting. We were one of their first podcasts. And now apparently it's like, on the homepage. Like, you like podcasts. You might like some of this Sex with Emily.

That's great.

It's true. It's really good. And what else do I have to say here?

I'm happy to be here with you.

I'm so happy to see you too.

I haven't seen you forever.

It feels like 16 months it has been. But I'm glad you're here as well. I just. I hear about you, I think about you. I miss you in my heart. People always comment stuff like, menace told me to do this, so I did it. Like, liking the Instagram stuff. I know. They're like, I know medicine's gonna be happy cause I did this. Or like, it's funny. People listen to you Good. Weirdly, I know I don't know about your sex advice, but they listen to.

You by doing stuff on social media.

Yeah, totally. I. What else was gonna say here is that. Do you know, Magnus, that we have so many podcasts that they're not. They can't all be available everywhere except for on our website, sectionlme.com podcasts. Cause 12 years of podcasts are living there. So if you guys want our entire archive. Cause people email, they're like, I'm binging. They binge on the show because we're addictive. I guess it feels like it's a healthy addiction.

Well, it's crazy when people say that. They go on like, these really long road trips, and then they listen to the whole thing, and I go, wow. We were the entertainment for your entire road trip. That's awesome.

Thank you so much for the voices in your head.

Yeah.

That are changing your life.

So what's been going on with the show lately?

Well, the show must go on.

Yes.

Even when you're not here. We had Cindy Darnell in. She was here a few weeks ago, and her show was so good. She's Australian. She's, like, the leading sex educator in Australia. And, you know, listeners we have down under. It was a really great show. People were actually, like, snapping me and tweeting me. They're like, thank you for introducing me to Cindy, but she's so cool. We talked a lot about mismatched libidos, how to spice things up in the bedroom, why people don't talk about spice.

Did you talk about Australia? Because I want to go to Australia badly.

Everyone wants us to come to Australia. And then Brandi Glanville was on from the Real Housewives. Well, she was in Real Housewives podcast. You know Brandi?

Yeah, Brandi. I've met Brandi many times at an event with her. She's super fun.

Yeah.

She gets wild and crazy.

People love that show.

Oh, yeah. Because she's very, very open. Like, she does give an F, so I'm sure it was very entertaining.

She really doesn't give an F. I need to get more on that side of not just really giving enough, but not that extreme. But it's funny because someone snapped me last night. They're like, I did not like Brandi until I heard on your show, it was a different side that I really liked. She was, like, out there talking about everything.

But it was funny because, like, on television, you. I mean, it's edited to whatever they want to make you out to, you know? So, yeah, meeting her, you get a different experience sometimes. It's really, really fun and interesting.

Exactly.

But, yeah, I'm. That podcast was awesome. I'm definitely go check that out.

Check it out, man.

Check it out on the feed. Brandy Glanville.

Yeah. What's going on with you? Are you traveling?

Of course. I'm always traveling when I'm not working. If I get a couple days off, I go somewhere. So I just recently booked a trip to the Dominican Republic.

Awesome. When you going? Where are you going exactly?

I have no idea. I just know I'm going the Dominican Republic.

No. That's amazing. I know a lot of who have been there. Good for you.

But with your girlfriend, with my girlfriend. Yes. And this is, you know, this is something that we've always talked about, like, just being somewhere else other than your normal routine. You end up just having more sex for some reason. Vacation sex is always the best. I know vacations are expensive, and maybe, like, you can't just pick up and just go somewhere, but there's always hotel tonight. You know, the app that I always promote. You can save a bunch of money just even going to hotel, like a staycation or whatever. Just changing up your location gives you, I don't know, like a euphoric feeling, doesn't it?

Yes, it does. No, honey, yes. Yes. We've talked about that over the years in your app. And this is the time of year to really kind of hammer that home that if you guys have. Not especially if you have kids. I'm not even gonna say that. If you have kids, you absolutely have to take a trip without the kids. I've met people who are like, our kids are 8 and 6, and we've never, ever gone away without them for a night. There is a problem there. Parents. You still need to commit to each other and have that intimacy without the kids around. So if you have to go to the Motel 6 for a night, even having sex. Yeah. In another part of the house, having sex outside, you know, it doesn't. Just changing up the location doesn't. It is new. And that does give you the spike in adrenaline and oxytocin and all that stuff when you're trying something new. Dopamine. Yes. Vacation sex is huge. No matter how you do it, where you do it, how you slice it, it's important couples to get away.

It's so funny you say that about the parents. You know, believe it or not, I was in Las Vegas and.

There was this couple that I've known forever, and they have kids and they're like, you know what? This is the first time that we've been away from the kids in 10 years for a weekend.

A weekend.

A weekend trip, you know, but there's something that you have to have, you know, because I have co workers that have kids and they get burnt out. They're like, dude, I hate your Instagram account because you're, like, always going and doing something. Like, look, you can go ahead and go and do something. I know it's scary because I. I mean, I can't speak on behalf of people that have children because I don't have them, but I know that's probably scary to leave them in somebody else's hands, but you still got to live your life. You can't wait 18 years until they grow up to go out and do things. Because you know what? I know this is a cliche, but again, you could die tomorrow.

You can. It's true.

You know, and then what did you do? You just. You just sat around and did nothing.

Well, you were great parents and you were raising the children, but kids know if you guys are not connected anymore, and I don't see how you can still kind of work on your relationship, be great parents. And, you know, you. You want to be a role model to your parents being happy. You want to show your kids that you guys are connected and that you're, you know, they're intimate, romantic. I'm not saying having sex in front of them, but they can tell when parents are connected and when they're not connected, obviously, they can tell.

Parents are bored and they feel like they're in a routine, right? They told kids.

And just even one or two nights away, when you're like, wow, the kids aren't here and you're mixing it up and you have to worry about changing the sheets, and you can just go somewhere and do it. I'm telling you, it is. It does worlds for the relationship. And if you haven't done, like, book that trip now.

Do it.

So just recently, I had an event in Long Beach, California, before I forget. And this Sex with Emily listener came up. And so, like, I'm there with the, you know, whole Woody show crew, which is a boring show that I'm part of. And we're doing this meet and greet. We're meeting all these people, and this girl comes up, and she's like, oh, my God, Menace, I love you. On Sex with Emily. She goes in front of everybody, she goes, meeting you is like meeting Brad Pitt. And I'm like, well, it was really cool because she's actually. She was really attractive. Her name is Allison. So big shout out to Allison.

Oh, my God, Allison, I love you.

And, yeah, so everyone was, like, shocked that she said.

Yeah. So shout out to Allison, thank you very much for the ego and listening to you, the ego boost that would.

Last, like, I don't know, years for you.

Yeah, years. Keep playing that one out and you'll remember I'm going to my co workers. Remember when that girl said it was meeting me was like meeting Brad Pitt? I was shocked. It's definitely not like meeting Brad Pitt, but thank you for saying no.

Dude, when people are fans of the show, I think that's awesome. I love meeting everyone all the fans.

Thank you.

That is really cool. Mattis. I'm gonna be speaking of Beanie Fan. I'd love to meet you all. I'm gonna be in New York next week. It's funny, cause when I did the New York event last year, I met a ton of listeners. This is a little bit last minute, but if you're around in New York on June 24, I'm doing an event with Cosmo magazine. Oh, what? Yeah, dude, Cosmo magazine. It's called the Next Big Event. Let's talk about it. Cause we're talking about sex. It's June 24th in New York City for a day of Real Talk. And I'm on a panel with Kelly Osborne, Gretchen Carlson, Cindy Whitehead, Jessica Bennett, myself, some other cool people talking about sex. So I know they're inviting listeners, readers of the magazine, but you can also buy tickets, which we could put this on our website, perhaps. To buy tickets. Yes. Or follow us on Twitter. We've been tweeting it out on Instagram, Twitter, Instagram, all of it. So that'll be fun. A little week in New York. Hell yeah. Hanging out.

New York is such an amazing place. I love it. I would love to go back as soon as possible.

Yeah. You don't feel like you've been there very often.

Yeah, I went a couple months ago for like four days and it was great. I was all over town. And it sucks because there was sex with. I mean, listeners like, hitting me up on social media to meet up. But I had like this insane schedule that I had zero free time. Like literally get up at 5:00am and then I wasn't done until like 11:00 clock at night.

How do you even do that?

I don't know. I just try to do as much as I can.

I mean, I'd like to get up at 5:00am I mean, it sounds really fun. Well, we had a great. Okay, well, let's go back to us doing the live show we talked about in Vegas in September. We've had some good feedback. People were like, do that. Do that in September. So if we're gonna do it, we have to talk about that eventually. Make it happen. Settle down. Like, set the date.

Yeah, so there's a. I'm gonna be in Las Vegas for the iHeartRadio music festival. That happens in September all the time.

So what was the date of that?

That? I don't know if that's been disclosed yet.

Okay, just you guys, we asked you a few months ago and people did say they would like us to go you come see us and say hi.

Actually, I can tell you. Hold on, let me look real quick. There's. Because not all of it has been announced yet, but what I can tell you is I will be there.

September 22nd.

Okay. So we'll.

So I'll be there that weekend.

Okay.

I'm thinking there has to be like a little like downtime that we. We can just like record a podcast real quick.

An hour to hang out with the peeps. That sounds like a good. A really good idea.

That'd be awesome.

That would be awesome. So.

So I'm gonna. I'll try to get the official word real quick. Okay, we'll do that. Lock it down.

Love it.

That'd be great.

Okay, done. We need to travel together. So I've got a little sex in the news, which you know, when you're coming. We save some of the stories that you could. And I could uniquely discuss. And this is 10 types of noises guys will make during sex. All right, now you know that we. In the past, we have talked about the fact that when a guy like, here's the thing about sex. The goal should not be orgasms. Goal should be pleasure. It's about the journey, not necessarily about the destination. The orgasms are nice. We like orgasms. But when you don't know if your partner has orgasmed is going to orgasm for women and men, it's a little like, you came. I didn't know. We'd like to know. But there's ways you can do it, that kind of work. And I think it's a case by case basis. We're going to go through some of these. But for me, what we've talked about in the past is that when a guy like comes and you don't know and he's like, like the guy dated, he was like, I'm like, how would. If I blinked, I would have missed that. Right. So there, you know, and everyone likes to hear differently. Like, I know some guys, like when you're with a girl and she has an orgasm, if that's happened, I'm sure you.

Okay.

Would you like. You'd like to know, right? I'm coming. What would you like? Are you.

Yeah, I would. Yeah. I would like some verbal communication.

Right?

Yeah. And probably some noises. That'd be good. Unless, you know, we live in an apartment that's like super thin walls.

My biggest nightmare.

Yeah, but with a guy. Let me ask you, with a guy. What. What do you want?

I just want to know if you came or not. Like, because. No, I Want you. No, no. I want. I want some noises. Just that show. Like, those pleasurable. Like a pleasurable noise, not a weird noise. So let me run through some of these with you. Like, I feel like with women, it can be confusing because sometimes I'm like, it was so obvious I just had an orgasm. And they're like, I really want you to come. And I'm like, first of all, that's okay. When a guy's like, come for me, baby. Come for me. And I know there could be. Some girls are like, that might work for them like they did in 50 Shades of Gray. Because everything you saw in there, you know, probably works in real life. That's a joke. But no, really, there are some women that could turn you on. So I don't want to, like, take this away from those women. But I feel like we don't know always if we're gonna have an orgasm, and we're trying to, we would like to. And so when someone's like, come for me or do it. Are you coming? It could be stressful.

Yeah.

But I do feel like it's helpful, you know, to let them know when you do or if you're close. And then so for guys, like, same thing. I feel like since we just don't know, we're like, I did come. I did. You didn't know. So I feel like I would just like to know. And, yeah, maybe some sexy. Just some, like, too crazy. So here's some of the noises guys make. Tell me if this is familiar to you. So guys make low, almost inaudible moans. For a variety of reasons, men aren't as vocal during sex as women. For shy guys, this goes double. The true pinnacle of a quiet man enjoying himself is a very few low moans in your ear. I mean, okay, yeah. Then there's, you know, the low moans are better than, like, the. That rhythmic grunts that's the staple for most guys. Out of everything on this list, this is probably the most common. A few deep grunts paired with thrusting. Now she made me uncomfortable.

Now, should you have communication about this? Or she is like. Should a guy say, hey, how do you. How do you want me to respond?

I'm so glad you're asking this.

Orgasming? No, because, you know, it's funny because.

No, you should not.

You brought this up. There's like, this famous, like, Howard Stern clip that he uses for porno. And it's like this guy when he's orgasming, he goes, oh, yeah. Dropping loads, like, every time he orgasms. Like, that's the clip, like, every single time. So would you like that?

No.

No, I wouldn't like that. Okay. I wouldn't like that.

So now, like, what about if a guy. That. That's what he did. So I don't think.

I don't think I'd find myself in a situation where I'd be with a guy who would say, drop.

Yeah, but you wouldn't know that beforehand.

True.

Having sex with him for the first time. True.

And then I'd be calling, like, Lyft and saying, time for you.

Would you.

Like, cut down on the dropping those thing?

Or would you say, luckily, I haven't been with. I was with one guy who. It's not that he orgasmed where. It was more like he. He did this thing where he kept licking my ear, like, really deep into my ear. Like, licking it into, like, the ear canal. And it was really.

I'm not saying you have dirty ear, but no, I was pushing away.

He's like, what? You don't like them? Like, and this was like, when he was orgasming. It was very bizarre. That was bad. So what I'm saying is. And let me tell you something, guys, not that you. You guys. The men need a lot more to be insecure about. Most you guys are. I've had my share. Been with several men. Very rarely. I can't even think of any times where I'm like, that was awful. So, no, I'm not saying this is the kind of. I just think this is an interesting to talk about. And my basic takeaway here would be like, you know, even the grunting, that's the most common thing, that's fine. But just if you're super silent and you don't make any noise, sometimes it's hard to tell. And we don't know if you came or not. And I just think that's. Obviously, you should be talking about safe sex if you can come inside of the person. You know, if you're in a committed relationship and you've both gotten tested, you might not need a condom. If you're wearing a condom. Since we don't know, like, we won't know. And then you keep. Here's the awkward moment in sex where you're wearing a condom and the guy comes and you don't know. And then you keep going and it starts to hurt after you go, yeah, the guys are. You're like, pain, ouch. But you keep wanting to go because you think that I want to come, which I probably do, or maybe I have, but we haven't Communicated about it. And I feel like that's with new lovers, if you will. And if you're with someone for a while, you're kind of like, well, let me know if you come. So it's kind of like a casual thing, but there's no right way. So some of the other. Here's the other noise. This is a weird noise he immediately regrets. All right. Have you ever had a weird noise that you regret?

Not that I can think.

Not during sex.

No. No.

Okay. It'll happen more often. Guys will like more often. They'd like to admit he's doing his best to stay quiet. And then suddenly a weird yelp escapes his lips. Like a.

Hub or possibly a gleep. I don't know. How would you say this word? A hubloo. Hubbly, hubloo, hubloo, hubloo.

Or they just. They just say have a weird.

It's a hubaloo havaloo.

They're trying to talk or something.

Yeah, no, that's his noise. When he comes, he goes, what is it?

Hubloo habalu. He's just like. He's just talking gibberish.

Right. He obviously fought making the sound. He'll likely pause for a moment to see if you say or do anything and then go right back to it. Just pretend it didn't happen.

I've had me. I mean, weird sound like, because I have a cramp in my leg and it sounds like I'm orgasm, you know, because I'm in such pain, but I really just. Just have a cramp in my head.

I've had a cramp too, from. From. From orgasming. When you tense your. Like, your foot.

It's when my whole leg, it feels like it's gonna break off in so much pain. Yeah.

That's probably the loudest you are during sex you've ever. You ever. When you have pain.

And then I have to, like, stop everything and stand up.

Yeah, that's sexy. That's hot.

Yeah, it's so hot, right?

Yeah. Okay.

Excuse me. Let's stop having sex because I have a cramp in my leg.

Yeah. He. You. You know she fucked you into cramp bell. Yeah. Okay, so then there's the awkward silence. And this is what I'm talking about. This one is just understandably creepy, you know, is what this says. I would never use the word creepy. I don't like using the word creepy when defining. Talking about sex because I feel like we all do our own jams. But yes, blah, blah, blah. Men might not be expected to be really vocal during sex. But if he's so weird out the prospect of making noise, he's completely silent. And that's what I'm talking about. I feel like for men to give you guys a benefit of doubt, most of the orgasming you've got done masturbation, it's silent. Like there's people around. Maybe you're masturbating your house and you got parents and you're like, I don't want to. And then you get trained not to make any noise. So when it's silent, you're like, of course I came. Like, I don't even know how that. Because I feel like the natural instinct is that you want to make noise. So men have to actively suppress that, I think. And I'm saying just let it go, baby. Whatever your noise is, that's fine. Another thing is yelling. Oh yeah. And you like that? You like that? I don't know.

There are too many girls don't like that.

You know, it's kind of like cheering for like a football team or something. Like, hey, yeah, go for it. You like that? You like that? I don't know, it's kind of like that kind of thing. I don't know, it's kind of vanilla. But like, you want that? Okay, so then I'm coming 99 of the time. This is what it said when he's orgasming. I'm fine with that. Like, I'm gonna come, baby. That's fine. Because then we know it's clear I'm.

About to do it.

Yeah.

Weird and embarrassing high pitched squeals.

Yeah.

I don't even know about this.

Like, this is purely like, do you think, like if. So if a person is doing high pitched squeals, are they're doing the. The gibberish that they're even aware that they're doing?

No, no, not until they can't control it. No, I don't think so.

How they even know that it's an issue or like a problem?

No, here's the thing. I'm not even saying you guys. See, I feel like I'm gonna start a whole new wave of thing for guys to obsess about it most. This is not a problem. I'm just saying you should probably let your part some way by showing pleasure some weird. But if you're doing some high pitched squeals, I gotta be honest, I'm just happy if I'm connected to someone more intimate. And you, you know, just like, you could say women who are way too loud or women who make but you're having sex with this person, you're into them, hopefully. So I don't feel like there's anything a guy can really do that's like a horrible thing. He's making squeals. Speaking of weird sounds, having sex with me was so good that you just lost your mind and had to squeal. I'll just.

I think some people might not even be aware with it. So, like, in high school, my buddy's mom, I didn't have sex with her, but when we would talk, when we talk, she would do this weird thing and she was not aware of. I go, hey, how you doing today? And she goes, oh, hi. How you doing? Everything like, oh, how's your. How's your day? Like, where'd you guys go? Oh, do you guys go to Arby's? Yeah. Like, after every sentence, it'll be probably.

Like a nervous thing. Yeah, nervous.

Sort of drove me crazy because I knew.

But it's funny because my buddy, he wasn't. He didn't pick up on it until I said it. And then he heard it, like, every single time she talked.

Now we can't go home anymore because it's the worst thing.

How are you doing, Emily?

So I'm thinking, like, you know, when the people are doing these high pitch squeals and stuff like that, they might not be aware of it. So maybe, I mean, if the. If the partner's bothered by it, then of course, like, say something. Hey, did you notice that you squeal like a pig or you say like some weird gibberish or like, how do you even approach?

I think you should say, I just wear earplugs. God. I want to know that you're. This is what I would say. I would say when we're having sex and it's so hot and I love having sex with you. I'm just not sure when you come. I can't tell when you're. I make sure that you're getting there too. So I love when you, like, let me know you're coming with those high pitched squeals. About the same thing. No, I don't know. I mean, I probably. I wouldn't shame a man for making high pitch squeals, but I would. I would, I don't know, immediate. If it was every time, I think I would be cool with it. Really. Unless it was, like, jarring and I just lost my boner, which doesn't usually happen.

How about, like, I just put an app on. On my phone and I hit a button on there and then, like, all the lights turn on, because that's possible. I have that set up in my room.

What, when you an orgasm and your lights go up?

No, but that'd be a funny thing that you did. You just grab your phone and then.

You like fireworks, balloons drop from the ceiling. Like, Like. Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, totally. I just think goes back to communication. Just communicate about when it's happening. Okay, let's get into some emails here, Menace. Okay, first one, give a shout to our sponsors. We love you all. We love our sponsors. I'm glad you guys get to know each other. Thank you for supporting them. And we will be right back with emails.

Okay, Mattis, guess what? You didn't know? All right, we're doing emails per usual. But now people can text ask Emily on one word to 797-979 with their question.

What?

Yep.

That's awesome.

All you do is you one word. Ask Emily A, S, K, E, M, I, L, Y to 797979 and you get that same form that you get when you're on the website. And you just fill it out and send it in. So easy.

That's awesome.

I know, it's great. And then it's sex with emily.com. click on the Ask Emily tab. You can also leave me a voicemail.

People are like sexting with you, right?

Yeah, totally.

That's pretty cool.

It is cool, Menace.

Look at you guys getting all tech with it. You're on Spotify now. You got like texting numbers.

I'm all over Snapchat.

You're on Snapchat.

I love answering people. I actually am spending a lot of time. Cause I can't. Like at night, I'm going to sleep. And you get all those. Do you answer people back?

Yeah, as many as I can.

Yeah, I like it. I mean, I have a lot of things on here that I'm like, oh, I gotta get back to you. Or they send questions. But you guys, if they're longer questions, you should just email to me. But it's a good time talking to people. Okay, when you email us, please include your gender, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show.

Cool.

Okay. Hi, Emily, I have a question regarding Gasp, my penis. Yep, I know Another dude emailing Emily wanting to talk about his junk and his insecurities with it. What is it with us men obsessing over our penises anyway? Well, I suppose I'll just come right out and say it. I have a curved penis.

All right.

I'm happy to Report that everything downstairs functions as intended. But my first girlfriend from high school was very put off by my shape. Unsurprisingly, this was the source of my anxiety, which has festered inside me over the years. Thankfully, I'm going to accept my deformity because Mr. Banana is all I've got. As I matured, I came to realize that hating my penis for the rest of my life is just wasted energy. With that said, I'm still insecure enough about it to have never told anybody about my penis except for my sexual partners, obviously. My question is this. How common are curved penises? Another question. Have you ever slept with a man with a deformed penis? Was the sex pleasurable? Does the direction or degree of the bend matter at all? I only recently discovered your podcast about two weeks ago, and I'm addicted. Love the show. I would be absolutely ecstatic to hear what you have to say on the topic. Thank you. Brad, 30, Kansas City.

That's very interesting.

Very interesting.

I always wonder that, like, for a female, okay, is that more pleasurable?

This is what I want to say first. When this came in, Brad, I was actually sitting here with Jamie. We did a little thing on Snapchat, which. That's the only thing about Snapchat. Is it gone? We're like, here's these emails we get from people I know I have them all saved on my phone. I could re release it during the show, but this guy was like, I have a curvy penis. You know, And I get it. I mean, I get it. Brad, you're 30. You know, your first experience was with a girl in school, and she said it was bad. We're going to take away your language here because you're calling your penis deformed, and it makes me cringe. Because really, there is nothing wrong with your penis, Brad. Like, zero. In fact, I think, like, a bendy penis is actually good luck. I get that you're stressed. I get that a woman made fun of it because it doesn't look like everyone else is. But having a bendy penis is like, it can hit spots that straightforward penises cannot hit. Just like the color and the shape and the sizes of men's penis are different. Some bend left, some bend right, some bend up some. But there's not, like, a perfect way for it to bend. But when I see bendy penis and think about it, I think, hello, G spot. Yeah, I think, hello. All these other spots in our vagina that are in our vulva that don't get hit normally, that don't get touched. And it's not a bad thing at all. The only issue is if it's a bent. If your penis is bent so much that you have pain or it's super curved when you have an erection, that's called peyronie's. When a man's penis is super, super curved when it's erect. And it typically hits men over 40 and that means you have difficult pain having sex. But it sounds like this is in your head, Brad. So I'm saying penises, curved penises, super, super common. I've never heard a woman complain about it.

Me neither.

Ever. In fact, I think it's unique, like how we say, you know. Yeah. I just think that your penis out.

Of a lineup when somebody was, you know, when they were younger, they would be afraid by it because it's something that they've never seen before.

Right.

But as they, you know, people get older, that they would be more interested in it, you know?

I think so too. So I feel like this is a great example of getting some information from somebody that makes you feel bad about yourself. When you're in your formative years, you're in high school and you think forever you have to like hide your bendy penis. And I'm telling you, you go for it. You're fine, Brad. And you're lucky. I actually think it's. It's good luck, a bendy penis, because for different women, it'll hit different places. I think it's awesome. Nothing to worry about. Totally normal. Top of that. Hate normal, but it's common.

I think you should just put it out there right away. Said when you meet somebody, I have a bent penis.

He should put his dating profiles like a plus.

Yes. No, it. Dude, I'm telling you, I think that women would be interested in checking it out and see what it's all about.

Like the circus checking it out. No, no, no, but I'm kidding.

Honestly. If you put it out there right away and don't be afraid of it, and then it's already out of the way and it's something that you don't have to be shy about and the woman already knows, I guarantee you there'll be women that'd be interested in just like checking it out and taking a ride for the first time.

I want to correct this thing that I said. You should not put that on your dating profile.

No, no, no. That was a trick. And what you're talking about is leading with that, having a discussion about.

Yeah, I don't know. Okay, here's this is interesting. I don't think. I think if you discuss it beforehand, it's like guys who email us with uncircumcised penis, they want to know what's the protocol. And I kind of feel like you don't really have to discuss it. I feel like the more confident you are rocking your penis, you're with 30. I'm sure you're with women who've actually had some partners before that. It's not like you have to be like, listen, we need to talk to you. Unless they bring it up, you're like, yeah, watch it. Rock your world. Yeah, I think it's awesome.

That's what I'm trying to say. Like, have an open discussion about it.

Exactly.

That's all.

Okay. Hey, Emily, I know you probably get asked this question all the time. I don't know if I should buy a masturbator. I feel confused about if it's right or wrong to want one. Also, I live with my parents still. How should I go about buying one and using one, given my living situation? Thank you. August 18th, Georgia. So it's a guy. August. Hi. You're living in Georgia with your parents? Yeah. Buy a masturbator. Buy a Fleshlight. Buy the Fleshlight Go, I think would be a great male masturbation sleeve.

Go.

It's a go. Because it's smaller, more.

I'm not even aware of the Go. So it's a.

There's so many of them.

Yeah, yeah.

It's compact. It's on the website. Travel size. It's more compact. It doesn't look. It's, you know, a lot of the Fleshlights. I feel like we haven't talked about Fleshlight in a while.

No.

The male masturbation sleeve. That looks and feels like the real deal. It's made of patented skin material that was invented by NASA.

Sweet.

And it's pretty cool. And I feel like. I mean, you're living at home. You can easily wash it out. You ejaculate it inside of it. It's like, guys have their hands, but, you know, why not try something else? So get some lube with it. Buy some Joe lube. You can get it on our website. And honestly, I think just wash it out. It looks like. It literally looks like a flashlight. Like, they won't. Your mom probably won't know what's inside of it, but she probably shouldn't be rooting around your bedroom anyway.

Yeah.

And you're saying, should you buy one? Like, I don't see why not. I don't see a downside to it. In fact, I love that you're asking that because a lot of guys, like, I don't see why I need it. I've got my hand. I'm just saying it's a different sensation. You haven't you used one yet? No, I think it's time. Like 16 years into your relationship, do.

You use a fleshlight?

So a lot of the fleshlights are. So women porn stars actually model them after, like, they put the mold in their vagina. You can actually go to like, avn, like the. In Vegas, the porn conference, and you can actually watch women molding the their vaginas in person.

You can watch it?

Yeah.

No way.

You can sit there. They got the mold inside the vagina and then you could buy. But yeah, that's one kind. So if there's a porn star that you're really into, you can be like, oh, it's like having sex with her. Or you can get one that doesn't look like a vagina, but it's got the whole. Put your penis in there.

Nice.

Yeah. Okay, how about that? We solved that. Emily, I haven't heard you discuss voyeurism lately. I want to know how women feel about it and if it's an acceptable practice. I'm not really focused on watching a partner have sex with other people, but watching a partner have sex with themselves, or giving me oral or even watching ourselves having sex during sex. Like a closed circuit video. We live in a generation of appeal based relationships, and I would think voyeurism is more predominant now than any other time in life. I swipe based on voyeuristic mentalities, and it doesn't seem like something that's discussed and. And accepted much at all. P.S. you are so beautiful and so awesome. Thank you so much, Shy Voyeur 33, Indianapolis.

Is there an app for that yet? Well, okay, I know there's one for threesomes.

Well, I swipe based on voyeuristic mentalities. So I don't know that someone in their Tinder profile is gonna be like, I wanna, you know, I love being watched. I don't know how you can tell that in their dating profile. So voyeurism, how it's typically used, is when people are having sex and they like to be watched, you know, or they like to watch other people and they, you know, think they get off on that. But really what you're talking about, Shy Boyer, is that you just want more visual stimulation during sex, that you think it would be super hot if you are watching her give you oral sex or you're making a sex tape together. And I feel like that's really mutual masturbation. I think that's a totally acceptable practice. And I think that makes sense. I think putting a mirror in the bedroom and watching each other, I feel like maybe I haven't talked about that a lot lately, but I do.

But I know you've been campaigning that for years, but I don't. I don't believe you. The mutual masturbation.

Yeah, yeah.

I believe you haven't brought it up in a while and you get new listeners all the time.

That's true. I mean, I feel like mutual masturbation is like the ultimate voyeuristic. Voyeuristic act that you can, you know, you. You're watching her, she's watching you. And first of all, you're learning actually how she touches himself, how you touch yourself. And then, you know, who knows, maybe you'll start touching. She'll start, you know, you'll put your hand over her hand. It's like a learning tool. Plus, it's really hot. But I feel like for. I don't know how again, like how you're swiping on it. But I think that this is something that can turn both men and women on. And typically I hear it from men just because. Not that we aren't all visual, but men are like, I want to see it. It's hot. Like, let's leave the lights on. Let's check it all out. So I mean, or do you just close your eyes during sex? What do you do? Menace?

No, I don't do that. But I think that would be totally different thing than, you know, keeping your eyes open during sex.

No, but you're. But it's hard to watch. Like, that's why I say also, like, when you're performing oral sex, I always tell women this. Like, if you're going down in a guy, like, you want to like, make eye contact. You want it not too creepy, don't.

Worry, not the whole time staring.

Don't stare into their eyes. Like bug a. The whole time. But like, you know, like move in ways that. Where you feel sexy and you feel hot and just, you know, it's a fun thing. Sex is. Can be a hot thing to watch and to. When you're doing it and to be watching. So I think this is really common. I don't think you need to worry that it's something that's weird and like gonna turn women off. No, Shyboy. Or just initiate it.

But somebody needs to make the app so people can meet up, you know.

Like, I like watching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. I mean, we've, we've heard about that forever, about the husband in the closet watching, you know, all kinds of stuff.

Yeah, that's true. He's not really talking about wanting to watch, but that's a whole other thing. There are apps like that though.

But I mean, there could be different sections total.

Okay, so. Hey, Emily. I've recently started to try dating sites. I'm interested in finding a friends with benefits relationship. I'm on several sites, including Match, Ashley, Madison, and even Adult Friend Finder. Most of these are a joke with 90% of the members being bots or scams to get you to join other sites. I've tried everything. I've tried being subtle. I've tried being overt. Women get scared away thinking I'm only about the sex. I've tried down the middle where I've friendly, like conversations and eventually ask if we can meet IRL in real life. That's when they ghost. Nothing seems to be working. Why are women so obscure on dating sites about what they're looking for? They claim to want fwb, but they get scared away as soon as the conversation heads in that direction. Why don't women just say what they want or don't want? I totally agree with Menace. Men don't pick up on signals. I understand that many of these women are just interested in someone paying attention to them, but as soon as more is required, they ghost. Why the games? Any suggestions how to successfully find an FWB stitch situation? Frustrated. Jeff, 50. Missouri.

Missouri. What's up to Missouri?

What's up to Missouri?

I'm on the radio. Missouri.

You are?

St. Louis 104.9.

Okay. Yeah, Jeff, get your menace fixed.

Daily in the morning, 6 to 10am.

Wow, that's so cool.

St. Louis, Missouri. But the. The thing is, I don't know, I guess it's just a power in numbers, you know, because sometimes a lot of people just get on these dating sites and they like the attention. They're not really gonna like, follow through with it, but they like having the conversation. You know what I'm saying? I mean, if you watch, if you watch like TV shows like Catfish and stuff like that, like they're getting on there because they'd like the attention at the actual conversation, but they don't really want to like, follow through all the way. Definitely there's a large portion that do want to follow through all the way. So There. There must be, like, some. Some part of the conversation that's not clicking.

Well, I think I figured it out.

Okay.

Okay, tell me. So. Okay, this is. This is where I think the problem is here, Jeff. I think that you're pushing the conversation too early. Here's the thing. Sure, we want attention, and we might even want a friendship benefits situation, but if you're pushing it too early, this is where it's tricky. Yeah, I like you. You're hot. Let's just have a friends with benefit situation.

Yeah. Is it within the first.

Well, that's insane.

Is it in the first days, in the first hour, for ten minutes, it just.

We want to feel desired and hot, and we might want that as well. We might want a casual relationship, but there's like, we. We still want to feel like it's not just a transactional. Like, you're not just looking to have sex. You're like, you'll do for that friends with benefit thing. You know, if you're saying it before meeting them. And she might just think, like, you're done even. You don't even want to get to know her at all. Like, you just want the sex. And while, yes, that's what casual sex is about, there is still some kind of finessing with. With women. And maybe men don't need the attention as much, although I think some do that you got to actually be into her. I mean, we're talking about friends with benefits, so you do want to get to know her. So I would say maybe you're leading with it too quickly. Like, if you're matching with someone on Tinder and you're like, okay, I'm looking for an fwb. She'll be like, okay, so you just saw me. You thought I was hot. You. You just want to bang me and grunt.

Yeah, maybe you got to lay a little more groundwork.

Right? He's got to lay. So I don't think that. Jeff. I think that's what it is. I think your tactic. And this isn't like you're being dishonest. You just. It's about when you release this information, when you let them know your intentions and what you're looking for because. And you never know, because maybe you'll want something more after you meet someone who's great. You know, we just don't want to feel like a piece of meat. Even if you think we're a piece of meat. Okay. That's what we got time for.

Oh, well, it was great being back here with you.

I know.

I enjoy Our time together as always. And thank you to all the listeners that support Sex with Emily. And it's fun meeting you out and about, so never be shy to say.

Hello and to review the show.

And review the show.

You get everyone to do it.

That's my favorite thing. All right, so this show is entirely for free. Emily puts a lot of effort into it. She has a whole staff here together. They put a lot of time in doing this show. All we ask, wherever you listen to the show, be it iTunes, Spotify, sex with emily.com soundcloud, wherever the show is, all you gotta do is rate and review. Now, like, it doesn't hurt my feelings if you don't give it five stars, but you definitely will hurt Emily's feelings if you don't put five stars. And if you can leave a couple comments, that's great.

I love that I'm pretty.

That just helps.

Menace is smart.

Just helps spread the word about the show. So if you can do that, I greatly appreciate it.

And subscribing to it and commenting helps.

Commenting Follow Sex to Emily on Instagram.

I put up a kitty shot just for you.

Oh, you did? Bikini shot?

Yeah, I was in Mexico and I did that. And then someone commented, Menace is gonna be happy that you did that.

Yes.

So if you guys listen to the show, you can comment on it as well.

Okay, so if you listen to the entire show, what I want you to do is go to instagram.com sex with Emily or Xemily on Instagram, comment and say that you listen to the show. Look for the bikini pic.

Yep, that's it.

It should be recent.

Thanks, Menace. And you can find Menace Ennis.

Ennis on Instagram, Twitter. Also do a morning show called the Woody Show. We do a podcast. It's not about sex, but if you want to keep up on pop culture and the news and maybe be offended here and there, search the Woody show and download the podcast.

Awesome.

Thank you.

I love it. Okay, thank you, Menace. Thank you to my amazing team. Ken, producer, Lark, Jamie, Michael. I love you all. And thank you everyone, for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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