Sexy Gifts & Pleasure Tips for Valentine’s Day

I feel like Valentine's is definitely one of the holidays where you make sure you give oral sex. What do you think? At least I do.

Yeah, if you haven't been giving it— yeah, a lot till then.

Yeah.

And you're like, it's now or never. Yeah. But I think it's good to do it when you want it. I, I don't— well, here's what that reminds me.

I actually appreciate it.

I think you're also right that, yeah, if you never do it and you know your partner is a huge fan of receiving it— yeah, why not? Or because you always hear like, oh, they only give blowjobs on birthdays, so I think it's that.

Yeah. But yeah, why not throw another one in for February 14th.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily Morse, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Today is my Valentine's Day episode 2025, and really though, I got to be honest, it is giving you tips for all year round. And one of my favorites, Dr. Scott Lyons, is my co-host on the pod today. You can check him out at @DrScottLyons, and we got into a lot in this episode. We answered your Valentine's Day questions. We talked about the best gifts for whatever you're looking for, some sexy ones for sure, and just some really cozy, playful ones, things to enhance intimate conversations. We talked about people's most inspiring dates they've had for Valentine's Day, memorable moments. So you, everyone enjoy this episode today. Can't wait to hear what you think. Happy Valentine's Day. We love you. Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen to the podcast. It just helps get the podcast out to more people like you. You can find us on all social media. It is @sexwithemily. @sexwithemily. My new articles, How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Sex Life and Valentine's Day Gift Guide: The Ultimate Pleasure Journey, all up on sexwithemily.com. Before we get into my amazing Valentine's Day picks, I want to let you know that the paperback of my book Smart Sex is now out in bookstores in the US. And if you live in the UK, my book was just released yesterday, January 30th. More places coming soon. But check out Smart Sex. If you're a paperback person, check out the paperback. You're going to love it. It's been an incredible journey with book, and now the paperback is so exciting. Also wanted to mention my membership community, Smart SX, that we launched in September, and it's just been an incredible community of people coming together to share, to grow, to support each other, to have accountability in our desires to have better sex. I bring in some of the leading experts in the world to teach. You know, a few times a month. It's just a wonderful community. We're exploring and learning so much about ourselves and you can learn about your sexual health and just join us there. All right everyone, enjoy this episode. This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Spring calls for a wardrobe refresh and Nordstrom has the best styles of the season. From dresses and denim to standout tops and accessories, find the trends and essentials that feel right for you. Discover new arrivals from brands you love like WAIF, Princess Polly, Mango, Adidas, and Free People.

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So my team puts together this gift guide every year. We spend a lot of time on it.

Yeah.

I'm not a control freak, if you will. I love to know, is this really useful for people? It's something new. Can you afford it? Something for everybody. If you're, if you're in a relationship or if you're single, you want to buy something for yourself. Yeah, obviously there are some toys. Okay, here's something. We have a lover's journal. Okay, so this is what I love. I love a journal that has like prompts and challenges and helps you like pause, reflect, and connect on a deeper level. It helps to spark conversations. So I just love the card games, the journal. Something that couples can do together. Yeah, right. Like, it helps elicit fun conversation. That's date night.

Yeah, that's— I mean, intimacy, like, the depth of intimacy really comes from being curious and getting to know each other more and more and more and more, even after all these years. Like, if you feel like you know your partner, it's stale. Like, you should—

you don't know everything.

You don't, right? You don't. They're keeping secrets from you. Just kidding.

No, we just don't think to tell everything. We don't want to hear about your day at work again or your struggles with your whoever, your, your neighbor or your kids or your work. We just like— this is like we go to dinner and say, so tell me about— yeah, if you could have dinner next to someone, yeah, that are alive, who would it be?

This is why I like adventures too, is because shared experiences give you something to talk about. Shared movies, shared TV shows, shared laser tag. It gives you— it gives you something to really like— we shared it and we can unpack. Yeah, you're creating memories.

Oh my God. And couples, they say too, when your couples are sharing an experience. You get that release of dopamine, and that also helps bond you. Because you know what I don't want? To be that couple who's sitting at dinner— we've all seen that meme where they're both on their phones and they're not talking to each other. But if you bring something like the Lover's Journal or Esther Perel's card game— okay, so that's a good one. We have a Lovestruck Couple's Magic Candle. This is like set the mood stuff. Okay, it's a House of Tuition Mm-hmm. Lovestruck candleweight. So we just have stuff like that on here. We have an intimate blanket. Okay, so this, do you know about a sex blanket?

No.

Talk about a waterproof blanket for your bed. You will be obsessed with this, Scott. So do you, 'cause you like things neat.

I do like things.

Okay, so what happens when sex gets on the sheets? Ejaculate, sweat.

Others.

Crackers.

Crackers.

I don't know.

Whipped cream.

Look at this sex blanket. It's from Common Confidential. It's a waterproof intimate blanket. And it's, you put it on your bed, so you just, we're having sex, I use this, I throw it down for the sex, for anything. 'Cause then it's pretty.

Like how waterproof? Are we talking about like golden shower waterproof?

Yes. Oh. That's the point. Wow. Yeah, you don't wanna put down like a, you know, hefty garbage bag or something.

No, and my Gucci blanket, I don't want stuff on it.

This is one of my favorite things on the gift guide. This is the Calma Confidential waterproof blanket. Use code SEXWITHEMILY for 15% off your first Cum and Confidential purchase.

That's actually really helpful.

Wait, this is so cool. Look at this, a levitating moon lamp.

Yeah, look.

Oh, doesn't that look like a moon lamp? Isn't that cool?

That's really cool.

Okay, so that's one of them. Then I know you're dying to know about this, the Magic Wand Mini.

I think we use a Magic Wand for different purposes. It is a great actual massager.

Scott just used it 10 minutes before the broadcast, just so you know.

I was rubbing my IT bands. He used it for his IT The Magic Wand Mini.

The Mini is travel size and it's the same frigging sensations. I literally gift it to everybody that I ask them to send me like a, I just, people, you come to my house, you leave with a Magic Wand. Get the Magic Wand Mini, visit Shop with Emily for 20% off to 30% off select products.

Have you ever traveled with a, a mini Magic Wand and as it's going through like TSA, it accidentally turns on.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, that's totally happened to me. One time I was traveling home from— I think it was Germany. I was there for a sex conference.

This one does.

As one does. And I came home and I had so many sex toys. But not only that, I had all this, like, launch. Speaking of lingerie, but it was like very, like, BDSM sexy. I should wear that. Yeah. All these, like, bondage. Like, I still have it. Leather strap and all the sex toys. I probably had like 14 We-Vibes. It's another kind of toy and a magic wand anyway. So they stopped me and I was like, I thought these were— these are legal. Are they not legal? I had to go to talk to the guy, and then it did turn on as they were going through it. But I've had them turn on in the plane because I put them in my carry-on.

Yeah, yeah.

And then you hear it above.

Yeah. Have you ever seen the ones where it has a remote?

Yeah.

I had a lover who wore— I don't remember if it was a vibrating cock ring or a butt plug or something And I had full access to whenever, and they had to wear— they wore it all day.

They did.

Just one day because I overextended my welcome with it. And just like randomly through the day consistently. There's this whole thing in psychology, intermittent stimulus, right? Makes you the most like hypervigilant. If you don't know it's coming, but it's consistent enough, it will keep them like— it is edging. It is like nervous system edging because they are constantly like, is it going to happen now? Is it going to happen now? And then they start to settle, but is it going to happen now? And then it happens.

And then it happens. And that is quite an explosion when you edge it and you edge it all day. I just want— that is what I want to do for Valentine's Day.

Did that just make your book lit again?

I just get so turned on by edging all day. So yes, this is Oh My Bod. I love their company.

Okay.

And they make— Check this out. Okay, this is for sure I'm wearing this. This is exactly what you're saying for date night. Yeah, it is.

So it comes with panties, one size fits all, like blue.

I think comes other colors. And then this is a remote control. It's a little panty vibe. You can control it with an app. Okay, so now that remote control vibes, yeah, are apps in your phone, and you can do it from anywhere. Like, it could be at dinner, like during our Valentine's Day date, or I could be in Florida and you could be in California if we were in a long-distance relationship. So that would go in my panties. Wow. Yeah, it could be— you could use any panties, but this has like a little thing that it slides in.

Do you think if I'm at the office typing that you, you as my like office neighbor, would hear the chair vibrating? It's, it's pretty quiet.

It's quiet and it's between your legs, so it's like— put it on.

I'm putting it on. I'm putting it in my panties.

Okay, but I'm talking. I don't think you could hear it. It's imperceptible.

Yeah, it's pretty soft. It is pretty soft. I can definitely, um— here, you try it now. Okay, just stick it in there. I mean, there, there's a slight hum, but I'm— oh, now that you've tucked it in.

No, it's tucked in.

Yeah, if it's tucked in, the hum goes away.

Yeah, you can't really hear that. I'm wearing a panty vibe in during the show.

I don't know, I've never done that. You've never worn a panty vibe during my show? Oh my God, welcome to the new era of your show.

I mean, what a good idea.

It's the best idea.

No, because now my nervous system is calm. I'm edging myself through the whole episode, and then I just have to go to the bedroom after.

Is this how you regulate yourself?

Yes.

Oh my God.

Do you know that orgasms are very regular?

Of course. Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Do you— is your favorite nervous system regulation tool masturbation or sex?

Um, well, that's— I think, uh, no.

Okay.

For me, that's more of like a stress relief when I'm, when I'm feeling really, really confident.

It's, it's still going, y'all.

It's good. This is powerful.

Okay, where exactly is it placed? I mean, I know the female anatomy.

Do you though? I mean, where's my vulva?

I have done dissection labs. There it is.

This is where it is.

Okay, so it's on the opposite end of the clitoris. Oh no, you're putting it near the clitoris.

It's right now. It's there.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait. Nope, it's there.

Okay.

It's there.

It's under the hood of the clitoris.

Yep. So that's the Oh My Bod. Just real quick. Yeah. We also have an organic cotton teddy, because I'm going to be honest with you. Let me just show you this. This cotton teddy is just—

What is a teddy?

Oh, a teddy is what we prefer to wear as women, I think, all the time. It's just like a one-piece, but it's cotton and it's— this one's black.

Pretty.

It's really pretty. So I could just wear that around the house, if you will. So then, um, yes please. Yes please.

Oh, then there's just— yes.

Yeah, I gotta just get out of the Uggs and wear my sexier stuff all day, every day. Another thing. Yeah, go ahead.

I think this is the new era.

It's already happening, you guys. Welcome to the new era.

Welcome to the new era, everyone, where You're just wearing a teddy for office hours.

That's it.

That's it.

Okay, then we have massage butter, also by The Common Confidential, who make the blanket that you're gonna wear, the sex blanket. They also have this massage butter that is just smooth, and I have it right by my bed.

Oh, look at that very confidential box.

It already got some lube on it, I think. Okay.

Oh wow.

Oh, check this out. I love massage. This is your Valentine's Day right here. Like, feel this.

Okay, what's in it? Um, it totally feels—

coconut oil.

You know when you like put coconut oil on your good parts and it just feels really natural?

Well, you— yeah, this feels natural.

That feels really natural, actually.

You could use this as an all-over body massage oil.

You could use it—

you could use it for massage. You could use it for a lubricant for a penis.

Oh, and other parts.

Use code SEXWITHEMILY for 15% off your first Common Confidential purchase. Speaking of stuff that makes you feel good, we have a CBD-infused arousal gel. This is by Morgasm. That's the name of their company.

More orgasm.

Get it? Yeah, you have more orgasms. It's foreplay. It's just really fun because it's like a body safe. You put it on before any kind of sexy play on a penis or a vulva, and it's CBD-infused. And I love CBD products that like help with if you have any like kind of pain or you want to wrap blood flow. Yeah, blood flow. It helps you just—

does it make you last longer?

It can make you last longer. Oh, interesting. Asking for a friend?

Asking for a couple friends.

Okay, you're gonna leave with a gift bag of that.

You're gonna leave with it.

I've talked about CBD. I love this. Is the infused arousal gel I've been talking about for years. Visit morgasm.com/sexwithemily.

People, doesn't everyone kind of want to last longer?

You mean all men?

Yeah, men.

Um, not all of them. Some men have something called delay. I need to rename everything in my new sex DSM, whatever manual I'm going to do, because I don't love the name delayed ejaculation. That's what it is. There's some men who can't eject. They typically— delayed ejaculation is if you can't have an orgasm up until like 45 minutes during any kind of penetration, and you just have a hard time orgasming. There's a lot of different reasons why that can happen for men, but if you've been with a guy who just can't ejaculate when he wants to.

Yeah, for sure. But I don't think it's from that. I think it's— I mean, maybe it's that, but yeah, I've been with where— and sometimes you're just like, come on, get out there.

Yeah. And you're like, we have dinner reservations.

Dinner reservations.

Yeah, exactly. We got stuff to do.

Yeah.

We've got to go to bed.

Yeah, we got to go.

So anyway, but yes, I think that some people would like to last longer. Okay.

Yeah.

The thing about lasting longer is I think that if a lot of heterosexual relationships I think there's this notion that men are like, it means something, the sex is better if I last longer. And for a lot of women, that's not— it's too long, it's going on too long.

Oh, interesting. I feel like when I was younger, I saw these like maybe SNL skits or something in movies where it was all like, um, women at a like gathering talking about like, oh, it was like 30 seconds and done.

Like, that's premature ejaculating.

That's premature.

That's when somebody comes in a minute.

Yeah.

So that those people would like to last longer for sure. And there's a lot you can do for that. I've done— talked about that.

I know you have, but I'm gonna send it to those friends.

Yeah, those friends. But you know what's good for that is Promescent, is delay spray that— oh yeah, have I give you one of those? No, no, we're going in the garage after. Okay, here's another thing I want to talk about, another remote control vibe that I'm super excited about. I actually love this. Ready?

Ready.

This is what we're doing on the next show, the LELO Couple Play Bundle. This is on the gift guide too. Yeah, it comes with a Tiani 3 remote control couples massager designed to be worn during sex or just when you're hanging out. And then there's also a couples ring, so penis ring. Oh, so they both come together in this bundle. So you'll try the penis ring, the opposite come together. Exactly. And it also comes with a personal moisturizer and an oral sex balm to heighten the sensation.

What do you mean balm?

And a Helix, yeah, and a Lelo Hex condom. So what I love— okay, here's what I love about bundle. This is a good Valentine's Day tip. If you're like, I just want to get a toy, or I just want to get the massage candle, like, get this bundle because you get 2 toys, you get oral sex balm, personal moisturizer, and a hex condom. That's fun.

I feel like Valentine's is definitely one of the holidays where you make sure you give oral sex. What do you think? At least I do.

Yeah, I think that if you haven't been giving it a lot till then, yeah, and you're like It's now or never. Yeah, but I think it's good to do it when you want it. I don't— well, here's what that reminds me.

I actually appreciate that.

I think you're also right that, yeah, if you never do it and you know your partner is a huge fan of receiving it, yeah, why not? Or because you always hear like, oh, they only give blowjobs on birthdays, so I think it's that. Yeah, but yeah, why not throw another one in for the old February 14th? Oh, and if people want to get that one, it's code EMILY20 at lelo.com. You get an extra 20% off. Oh nice. I love LELO toys. They're like Gorge.

You've shown me them before. I'm into it. Yeah.

All right, so that's a good one. Then, as when we get older, after childbirth, when our hormones change, what happens is we start to lose estrogen, all these different stages, and your vagina just over time changes. Like every— all the skin on your body, like your face, like you moisturize your face. This is this like award-winning technology that uses human growth factors. It's Nobel Prize-winning technology that I used like a few times a week for about a month. I still use it and it just makes everything like softer and repair, like your face, like something you would use on your face.

Like Benjamin Button, your vagina?

Yes.

I fucking love that. Can I have some?

Yes. Do you think you should?

I'll try it on any orifice.

I know. Well, I think you could probably use it for any orifice.

Any orifice?

You just got excited. It's called V Health Serum. And I just love that it's, you know, it helps reduce all the pain, dryness, no hormones. And some women are very afraid of hormones, but this does such intense work. And they can do it. I'll get you one before you leave. Getvhealth.com, code EMILY25 for 25% off sitewide. That's a fun gift. I think that's what we buy for ourselves.

Do you ever go, holy shit, like, the technology we've created— like, 100 years ago when women were aging, like, they didn't have any support. I mean, they didn't have a lot of support for a lot of things, right? But like, to the fact that we're at a place where there's like this beautiful serum that like regenerates like your vagina, like Fuck.

I know. How amazing.

I don't know why I got so excited by that.

Because women just— we used to have to suffer through so many things.

Yeah.

And we didn't really talk about it at all. And women just thought, oh, my life is over at this age, or I can't. But like, no, not true. This technology is amazing. And all the research we've been doing on women's health, there's still not enough, but we're just doing more. We're realizing that— I can't tell you, like 5, 6 years ago, I probably didn't get anything for the vagina.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden, my UPS box is filled with vaginal serums and beauty products and everything that we would do for our face, we can also do for our vagina. It's a good time to be alive. It's a good time to have a vulva.

Most importantly.

Cheers to that.

Cheers to that.

We'll be right back with Dr. Scott Lyons and all our top products. On our Valentine's Day gift guide, so stick around.

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So another final toy that I love. So you don't know this probably, but when I started the show a long time ago, I couldn't believe that this company sent me like vibrators and stuff. Like I would get them and I wouldn't have to buy them. And I got to try out all these ones. And this company called Je Joue, which is I play in French. I do know how to— no, they, um, they made one called the Mimi, but now they make this one called the Rabbit hair.

Oh, I did. Oh yes. All my friends have talked about the rabbit.

This one is— oh, this is a kind of a rabbit-esque, but it's a HeraFlex, meaning that it is dual stimulation. Wait, you have to feel this because I love getting greedy with stimulation. Do you?

Yeah, dual stimulation or bust, and then bust.

Dual stimulation is greedy.

It's super greedy. I'm into greedy stimulation. And it fits beautiful.

Yeah, so I love— yeah, because their products, they're really, really soft.

They Is it behind you? Is that it?

Yes, that's it. That comes in that beautiful burgundy.

I love that burgundy color.

I love that it bends and flexes with your body. It has a deep rumbly sensation, and it's just like— all of their products are really beautiful and a great gift. And you see how it comes wrapped really pretty in the box.

All you had to say was rumbly, and I want to use it.

It's deep rumbly vibration. It's a different kind of vibration.

Say that one more time.

Deep rumbly vibration. Hot. I know, because some vibrations are like, and this is more like—

yeah, like That's how I want to have sex.

It's like, and, uh, squishy tip hits your G-spot, flexible thumb to use your external clitoris.

Yes please.

Buy now with 30% off using code EMILY30 at sexwithemily.com/hera.

When you talk about it, it makes me want to have a clitoris. I know, I know.

I get that.

I feel a little left out sometimes. I mean, we have a glans too.

Yes.

And so like, for, for those who maybe— I'm sure you've talked about it a million times, like the undifferentiated your genitals, as one does up until 8 weeks in utero. Like, it's the same little thing, exact thing. The glans, the head of the penis, is the same thing as the clitoris.

Exactly. And you can, like, you can—

lots of variations.

Yeah, you can jack off the clitoris too.

You can, um, totally. You've seen— that's why you see different sizes of the clitoris.

Okay, so that's fun. Valentine's Day. So I'm inspired for it now, right? So I really am. And so we're gonna do a day of love. I think that everyone's just— do something, do something for yourself. Hang out with your friends, go shopping, play some games.

Yeah.

Plan a date night out. Do an adventure with your partner. There's just so many other things you can do. We asked our Instagram audience this question. We said, what Valentine's Day gift are you giving? Hope to receive. Ready?

What is that?

We got a lot of these.

Okay.

Dirty, nasty, and passionate sex. Okay. Quiet night. Sex in a hotel room.

Okay.

My time and their time, meaning you're going to go down on me, you're going to take care of me, you're going to do whatever I want, and then we're going to give them their time too.

Oh, I heard that as like quality time, but yes. Okay.

I think that's what they mean in sex language.

Yeah.

Oh, I love this. No Valentine, but yet I will be my Valentine. I will give myself a sex toy.

You better.

I love that.

You better get that rabbit.

Okay. In light of listening to your podcast, I'll be giving the gift of pleasure this year. I love that. An orgasm. Oh God. Well, this is depressing, but I hope my wife puts effort in for the first time ever. I begged for too long.

You know what? You're on the next episode.

I hope she did. I know. Let's have a lot of help. Yes.

Yeah.

Okay. Message us. You're on the next episode.

You're on the next episode.

A promise ring. A trip to Italy. Really hoping my hubby cooks for me this year. It really makes you feel special. Okay, so here's the thing. I would love if she would just let her husband know, because now, like, she's waiting. And what if he doesn't?

Yeah, communication. Here's the fucking thing, y'all, is we all want someone to mind read and find that thing that we've been desiring and craving and to somehow manifest it into reality. And the truth is, it may not feel as sexy or special, but if we communicate it, if we say the— give them at least some clear hints, it's so much more likely that it's going to actualize in our life. So fucking communicate.

They're not a mind reader.

They're not a mind reader.

You gotta communicate. And it's a way to say it. Say, babe, Valentine's Day is so— you know, I was thinking, I had this, I had this fantasy or this image of you like making me dinner this year. Yeah, wouldn't that be like—

yeah, I remember telling my ex, uh, what I would like for Valentine's, which would be to hold the door open for me.

How'd that go?

Yeah, not— but I communicated it and I actually felt really empowered. Yes. Yeah, emphasis on X. Hold the door open for folks, y'all.

But I love that we got to communicate it. Let your partner know now. Don't wait to be disappointed. Let them know what you want.

Yeah.

Okay, this is our person. I'm giving my partner a weekend getaway. We love exploring new places, so I've booked a cozy little cabin in the mountains. I know they'll appreciate the thought and the quality time together.

Oh, would you invite us?

I know we want to go. We'd be kind of fun if we showed up.

We, we know how to play board games.

Exactly. Um, Oh, I've always wanted to receive something handmade, like a scrapbook or something that you can tell took a lot of time and effort to make. Yes, like my boyfriend did when I was 25 and he made me that album. That's—

yes. Yeah, do you know I've been making people pottery?

No.

Yeah, you're on the list.

I just got offended that I didn't get it yet, but no, just kidding.

Just because I haven't—

I haven't put it in.

I have to heat it up.

Oh yeah, I love that. That's a really beautiful— because you actually— something you made with your hands, it's literally— you sat there, you thought about this person, you molded the clay. That's a beautiful gift. Yeah, I'll take one?

Yeah, no, I'll get you one. They're not— they're not attractive.

You don't have to.

But, um, as a kid, I just remember, like, you know, not having any money, but like giving my parents like gifts that I would make. And I just— I feel like they faked it, but they still appreciated it more.

I think you're right. Yeah, even like the art of like writing a card. I think that's another thing to do, like write your— right? Yes, I love that.

And if you don't know how to like write in this way that is maybe more romantic, Use AI.

Yes.

That's what it's here for.

Totally. You can be like, write my partner a Valentine. I really love the way they smell. Ask how I feel. They're a great cook. They care about me and they love me, but make it sexier. Make it funnier.

Make it into lyrics or a poem that I can read them. Yeah.

You can ChatGPT your Valentine's Day.

Yeah.

Why not?

I mean, add in your own little flair, but yeah.

Oh my God. Giving my partner socks with our dog on them. Like printed socks with a doggy photo.

That's cute. Have you ever gotten socks with your photo on it?

Nope.

Okay, I'm adding that to the list.

That'd be kind of funny. Um, okay, this is one of the— I'm giving my mom a nice coffee maker. She's been talking about upgrading hers for a while and is single, so I know this will make her mornings even better and soften the blow being single on Valentine's Day. Yeah, I love that. And if your mom's single, you can also give her a vibrator.

You absolutely remember. Yes, Emily. When I first met Emily— well, not when I first met Emily— she gave us, my ex and I, a huge box of dildos that we brought up and gave to my mother-in-law. Yeah, and she loved each and every one of them. Cheers.

Cheers to that.

Cheers for making her day.

I think that if you're like, oh, I could never do that, try it. I'm so— that makes me feel really good. And she was pleased to receive that. She wasn't embarrassing.

She was pleased when she received it and she was pleased later.

She's pleased right now. She just got pleased 5 minutes ago. She's still using the toys.

She actually broke up with her longtime partner.

Really?

I think—

After I gave her the vibrator?

No, that's when we gave it to her because it was around Valentine's Day. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm glad. I think I always give my mom— well, she has a lot of vibes now, but I just think it's a beautiful thing to think about.

Give your mom a vibe. Your parents are human too, remember?

They need love too. Um, so getting my partner custom chocolates from her favorite German chocolate shop, chocolate shop we visited when we first started dating. I love that because that has some history.

That has history. Yes.

That's why you gotta write things down, because I don't know that I would remember that. Like, I don't know that I'm always the most— like, I put a lot of pressure on myself to give people the best gifts, and then I don't often know what to give, and then sometimes I don't give something, but it takes a beat to think about it. Those are some nice things that people want.

They're really sweet.

I know, and I hope this is just inspiring for people because I'm inspired now. What's your most memorable Valentine's Day? We had a foursome. I love that. Not one, not two, not three, but foursomes.

I love that you got greedy on Valentine's Day.

I love it. Hotel room with champagne and edible lube. Let's see, my most memorable Valentine's Day was when my partner surprised me with a candlelit dinner at home. We had a picnic on the floor, just the two of us, and he cooked my favorite meal. It was simple but so intimate and thoughtful. Nothing fancy, just a night that felt really special and personal. I love that.

I know.

I'll never forget the Valentine's Day when I accidentally brought my best friend a romantic gift, like full-on heart-shaped box of chocolates, flowers, and a cute little card. I thought I was being funny, but we were so confused and didn't know if I was secretly confessing my love or just got lost in the Valentine's Day section. We laughed about it for ages.

Are they now together?

No, I guess I know, but the edge of my seat. No, it sounds like they're not. Okay, so do you know that Valentine's Day is the most popular day for people to propose? Is it? Yeah.

Are you gonna propose to me?

Propose to me?

We are going to dinner.

So my most memorable Valentine's Day was when my now husband proposed to me. He had planned a whole thing out. It started with a scavenger hunt around the city. That's what you would want.

And that is what I did.

Leading to our favorite spots and ended with him asking me to marry him at the place where we had our first date. It was so romantic and I had no idea it was coming. Definitely might seem cheesy for some, but perfect for us. Not cheesy at all. Scott did it.

I did. I ever tell you the story of how I proposed?

No.

Um, it was in my 20s and, um, I, uh, couldn't afford anything, but so I bought a Ring Pop.

Oh, cute.

And it was also a history, like there was a whole history around Ring Pops. But, um, so I put a metal thing in the box because we brought a metal detector to a beach and I was like, we're going to do metal detectors. Games at the beach. So I buried a bunch of different things, like surprises, presents, and including the ring. And he found all of it but the fucking ring. And he was like, let's just go, it's, it's getting cold. And I was like, we really need to find all the gifts. And then he— I finally helped him find it. Yeah. And then you opened the box and it said, will you marry me?

Yeah, I love that.

Yeah, I mean, sometimes just the proposal story is way better than the relationship.

Yeah, well, that's the thing. You might as well make that part good because you better go downhill from there. Uh, hell yeah, as long as the proposal is good. Um, okay, now we've got all these questions too. Scott, you'll be good at this one. What's the best advice for someone who's recovering from a breakup or heartache during Valentine's Day season?

Well, someone who's doing that, let me tell you. Go out with friends, make yourself busy. Remember how fucking amazing you are and all the things you get to offer to other people in the world. And remember that you are better off, boo-boo, because honestly, if they didn't fight for you and all the shit you had to put up with, this is actually a better Valentine's Day than whatever they might have done, breadcrumby, half-ass and then left you disappointed the next day, going back to their old fucking patterns. Goodbye, boo-boo. Yeah, so you deserve better, and you're gonna give yourself better. Yes. How's that? What do you think?

That was perfect. Lean into your, your friends and your community. Buy yourself something special. Do something for you. You listen, though. Your ex, it ended for a reason. Um, it's so easy to put them on a pedestal and think, what if? I should have, I could have, would have. Yeah, but when they end, they're ending for a reason and for a lesson. Yeah, I love that. So we've got, my girlfriend wants to try anal sex for the first time on Valentine's Day. How to go about it? Get some lube.

I have a slight pause on the question, which is, for the first time, okay, we want to do a little bit of like rehearsal before. Like, she should try a little rehearsal. Like, is it something she would enjoy? Like, you don't want to like get really, uh, how we say, messy and funky on Valentine's? Like, will it ruin your Valentine's if it's not perfect? Because it's probably not gonna be perfect the first time. It's, you know, it sometimes is a little painful. There's a whole process of warming up the anus.

Have they done the foreplay?

Yeah.

Have you already tried with your fingers? Have you already, you know, kind of warmed everything up? Is she used to any kind of anal play.

Yeah.

Is this something that you guys have, uh, have you experimented with? Because maybe it's a lot of pressure.

It's a lot of pressure.

It's like, oh God, you know, and then she won't be able to enjoy if they go to dinner, maybe, or what she's eating, or she's like, anal's coming, anal's coming.

Yeah, yeah, because there's like a whole diet thing that you got to do, navigate it. Yeah, you want your psyllium husk, you know, you, you know, it's a whole process.

You're the second person who talked to me about psyllium husk today.

Yeah. Do you think you should take it right now?

Would you think that means I should take some psyllium husk?

I think you should take and get ready for some anal. Okay. Yeah, we're going to dinner.

Um, yeah, yeah, I'm with you. But, um, how to go about it— because I think maybe you talk about it on this day and you maybe plan another day unless it's all— but what if it's all anal Valentine's Day? Like, it's like we're not doing anything else but it's all about anal. Great. Make—

you can get ready, get clear, have some rehearsals, try toys out before.

Get one of the sex blankets.

Definitely get a blanket.

Yep.

Definitely look at, you know, have the discussion is, are we gonna douche? Are we gonna go through that process? Are we gonna go all natural, no douching? Like, that's a conversation to have. It's, yeah, it's important to have communication, y'all. Um, I would say try sex toys out, get the lube that feels good, right?

We love some silicone lube too.

Yes. What's your favorite lube for anal?

I would say I love some Uber Lube, and, um, Pjur makes a great lube. Yeah, Pjur. Yeah, they do, they do make great lube.

It's German, right?

Yeah, it is a German brand. That's— remember I was at the German sex conference when they found all my sex toys? That was with them.

I discovered that brand in Germany.

Oh, you did? Yeah. Because they're German brand. That's great. They're everywhere though. They're very popular brand in Europe.

Yeah, very popular. Um, they have a Backdoor, uh, specific—

no pun intended. Yeah, I thought you were saying— well, that—

no, no, no, they have a lube called Backdoor.

They do. I think, babe, I gave you like— that's—

yeah, no, I have a closet of it.

I gave you so many of those. Yes.

And I gave it away.

Okay, you had an orgy, didn't you?

No, we didn't have an orgy.

Oh, didn't you bring it to the, um—

oh no, I brought it to Fire Island and, and, and handed out in my— yes.

I don't mean— maybe I was just imagining all the other people had orgies. Yeah, I was just imagining, like, I gave you like gallons.

You gave me—

I gave you a gallon bottles of lube. I figured they would be good for like a sex— funny sex thing. Yeah, in my mind that was the— my fantasy about your lube.

Thank you for your fantasy, but I You're welcome.

Thank you. Thank you for, um, graciously accepting the lube.

Yeah, TSA was curious about it for sure. Yeah, because my suitcase was way overweight. Lube is heavy.

It is. It can be, especially when you get gallon jars.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you know what my vision is when I go cross-country on my, um, tour? Is to have an Airstream.

Yeah.

And in the back of it, there's just, you know, refillable— like, you bring your water bottles or your lube bottles, and just people can pump and just fill that, refill their lubes. Do you think they would come do that? Come see me for your lube bottle? What do you think? They could bring their own bottles.

I just had this like Whole Foods moment where you like bring your like soap jar, only like the hippiest of fucking towns, and you like, you know, pump it, pump it, pump your like glass mason jar full of soap. Yeah, and I'm into it.

Refill their lubes across the country. Just show, hey, come see me, and you're a lube dispensary.

Wow.

Yeah, it's legal, I think, for now. So the other thing we haven't talked about is massage candles. To me, no-brainer. If you— all— everything— you don't know what to get your partner, get them a massage candle. Jeju makes this incredible massage candle. Do you know what a massage candle is?

Oh, hell yeah.

Oh yeah, you light it like, like the most— like a regular candle, but then you blow it out, it becomes delicious warm massage oil you rub over your partner's body. Jeju makes one that I I love— I gave it to everybody. To me, that's just like that and a card could be your gift, because that is the gift that's just like playful and sexy and also gives you ambiance. It smells great.

It's also like an invitation, like, right? Like you give the gift and then you're like, shall we?

Yeah, let's try it. It's an activity. Yeah, I love that all of these gifts, a lot of them are activities. And the other thing I want to say about that is that one of the most common things that couples want play with when they want to sort of explore kinkier sex is temperature play. And so the thing about massage candles is it's like, you know, you could put a blindfold on your partner and then you pour the warm oil on them and it feels amazing. So it's very active and playful. They could get one now too. 30% off. Use code EMILY30 at sexwithemily.com/Hera. H-E-R-A. Okay, everyone, happy Valentine's Day. You lovers have the most incredible day. Remember, it is a day of love. It's a day of connection. So whether you're connecting with yourself, your friends, your lover, we're all for it. Dr. Scott Lyons, thank you for being my incredible Valentine's Day co-host today. Where can people find you?

You can find me at drscottlyons.com or on any of the socials, Dr. Scott Lyons.

And your podcast?

And my podcast, The Gently Used Human, where we did an episode too.

We did an episode. So hot. Okay, everyone, we love you. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily, and be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast, and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, or X, and Facebook. It's all @sexwithemily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email, so sign up on sexwithemily.com, and while you're there, check out my guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. And if you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline, 559-TALK-SEX. That's 559-825-5739. Or just go to sexwithemily.com/askemily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback@sexwithemily.com.