Squirting Is My Love Language (& Other Ways To Play)

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I tried to, like, guide the finger there, you know, and it gets pushed away.

Yeah.

So I don't really, I don't know if this is like, you know, a deal breaker or not.

Yeah, well, so, okay, here's the thing, Jeff. So you're 31 years old. Is she your age as well?

She's 28.

Okay, so here's the thing. You've been together five months. You know, I think you have to have the conversation about sex outside the bedroom. Because if you're telling me she's not that adventurous, it's not that likely that she would be into it. Leading your finger towards your asp. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. So you want to try a new kink? Well, you've come to the right podcast. On today's best of show, I'll answer your questions and help open your mind and body to all things kink and BDSM from Squirting to nipplegasms because pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone can lead to enhanced intimacy and heightened pleasure. All you need are the right tools, compassionate communication, patience, and plenty of lube. All right. Intentions with Emily for each episode, join me in setting an intention for the show.

I do it.

I encourage you to do it. What do you want to get out of this episode? Well, my intention is to help you expand your pleasure beyond the ordinary.

Because even if kink is just not.

Your thing, just talking through new types of pleasure can bring you and your partner closer together and have a whole lot more pleasure.

Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show.

My article, six Kink Styles and How to Explore Them is up@sexwithemily.com also check out my YouTube channel, social media and TikTok. It's all SexWithemily for more sex tips and advice. Wanna ask me questions? Leave me your questions or message me sexwithemily.com askemily or just call my hotline, 559-talk or 559-825-5739. Always include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. And of course, totally cool to change your name or choose to remain anonymous. Oh, one more thing. Super excited. I'm doing my first live event since 2020. It's gonna be in Los Angeles with my good friend Dr. Jen Freed. As you know, she's been on the show.

She's a psychological astrologer and it's gonna.

Be to celebrate her new book. And it's at Dynasty typewriter on Friday, October 7th at 6pm Please come join me. I'm really excited to see all of y'.

All.

We're going to be discussing her new book, A Map to youo Soul, and just talking about how to nurture yourself, live your potential. Jen and I go off on a.

Lot of great conversations that I know.

Are going to inspire you. I'm going to put a link to tickets in the show. Notes, come say hi. I'd love to see you.

All right, everyone.

Enjoy this episode.

Bondage. People always want to know, like, what does it mean to tie my partner up? How do we consensually tie each other up? So bondage means to be as restrained for erotic purposes. Essentially the B in bdsf, which is bondage, discipline, sadomasochism.

I like being tied up and also even during my wedding, actually. So my husband brought he yeah, during our. Because we got married in Hawaii. But he said he was going to bring some rope and of Course, it's not like your typical rope, you guys. It's not like you're. You know, the kind you see that looks like it would hurt you or something. No, it's. You could even use something that's, like, material that you would use for, like, yarn or something like that. It doesn't have to necessarily be your average. Like, you think some rope you used to tie a boat with or something. It's not like.

Thank God.

Yeah.

Boat rope seems hard.

Exactly, exactly. Not like that. But. Yeah. So he would. He used actually this very, like, a yarn. It was almost like a yarn. It was very soft. It felt very nice because he knows I don't like things that, like, would scratch or anything. And he tied up my breasts. And so he basically put it down the center of them and then tied them apart somewhat so it didn't hurt so much, but it was more like tying them so they were separated. Almost like it was a bra in itself. And it was like a halter. It was very cute. I'll have to show you pictures, but, yeah. And so that was kind of like a bondage that we would do, like, that night.

And your hands were also tied. Yes.

So that's the thing. It tied two to my hands as well. So it's very.

Cause you have breasts. Like, for me, I mean, I have some.

But you couldn't.

That wouldn't work for everybody, right?

Exactly.

There's no breast anchors. But bondage is a very popular kink for people. And I think. Yeah, we make it so difficult. Like, just use some string. Use some bondage tape. We actually have some bondage tape here, which. Nick, are you there? A call screener. I really wanted to tie you up in New York so badly, but we were so busy that I didn't get to. And I wanted to use this bondage tape. Cause it's so, so freaking cool. Have you seen this before?

Oh, no.

So let me tell you why I love bondage. Tape sticks. It looks like duct tape. And it comes in different colors. There's, like, red and black and purple and. But it's. It's reusable, but it also. It sticks to itself. So let's say I had my two hands.

Oh, this is nice.

Yeah, it's really nice. So give me your hands.

Okay.

I'm gonna tie you up. So you go like this. And literally, you guys, it is my favorite thing. I think I discovered this, like, 14 years ago when I first. I'm like, that's still my favorite thing. So there you go. Look at this. So it sticks to itself. You can just break it.

You can use your teeth.

Yes, but it's almost like a decal.

Okay, there. It works. But you could even make it tighter. Right, right, right. So you could wear this around your. You could do it in your hands. You could do it around your.

I could blindfold you.

Right?

I could blindfold you. I gotta stay on mic and do bonding. I have to tie someone up while being on the mic.

This is a first.

Okay.

Turn around so you know what I'm saying? And this is it.

So watch.

She's got a blindfold, and this tape is, like, 12 bucks a roll.

And it's reusable if you want to.

Y' all are doing great, by the way.

And it doesn't stick to its hair. It doesn't stick to the hair. It doesn't stick to yourself. Look at her. She's a natural. Is it like you're at home or something? Is it like your house? Is this fun? We're either gonna kidnap. Oh, my God. You could do it around their mouth. You could do it around the legs. And it's for you. Like, how great is body?

So easy.

And you're all like, I don't know how to do it. Do you want to come out of this?

Okay. Okay.

But don't you think it's cool? Would you use it? You're very good at the subject.

That's actually really awesome how easy that came off, too. That's actually what I love about it, too, is that it's not like duct tape. And it actually doesn't stick to your skin, so it doesn't feel like you have something that's so sticky.

Right.

That you would be. It would hurt you. It actually is not. It doesn't hurt any at all.

No.

Which is nice.

It doesn't. Yeah. I put it over your hair. She has this long. You see Christina's hair? She's the most beautiful Lux. Every day I stare her and I go, how is her hair? So perfectly long. And the highlights and the things and the thickness. Good jeans. But, yeah, you just do it. And it's really easy. I think in our mind, we make it. We think it's a big boat rope, or we think it has a locking key. And you gotta, like, lock up the handcuffs. But no, it's just so easy to do. And it's just hot because you're feeling, right, restrained. Or you take away eyesight, then everything else becomes more heightened. And so I think it's, you know, popular for a lot of people. And that's how we want to talk about, like, beginner bondage. So you want to make sure you have consent. You don't want to just, like, whip out the bondage tape, be like, hey, babe, I'm just gonna. You wanna talk about it ahead of time. You wanna pay attention to your body. Like, how does it feel in the moment? What are you enjoying about it? Can you let go? I mean, I think that the great thing about playing with bondage is that you actually get. The person who's being tied up gets to like, kind of let go a little bit. And you let go in the sense of you're not doing anything, but also you feeling much more in your body. Because when you take away movement or eyesight, you're feeling more. And you're also feeling more connected. That for people who have, like, ADD and their mind wanders. I'm raising my hand. Is that you. Sometimes you're in a power play with your partner, so you're just feeling. It's also. Can be really more intimate. It's not as disassociative. A lot of people kind of go in their minds and like, fantasize during sex. But this is like a very connected, intimate. Intimate act.

Definitely.

Right.

With your. With your husband too.

You feel like 100% it's more intimate. That's what I think. I love about it. And we switch so I can tie him up as well. That's the thing. It's like we both get to see how that dominant and submissive relationship can be. And switching because he's so dominant in his work and I'm so dominant in my work. We like being submissive both, but we also like to dominate.

Had you always had a sense that you could be both switching?

I didn't. That's the thing. I always thought I wanted to be submissive. And then Nick got it out of me. He was able to pull out from me being more into my dominant side. And what's so funny is all my gay friends said, we knew you had it in you. And I was like, oh, my God. I had no idea there was this other side that I could do that too.

I love it. I mean, I feel like in your marriage too, like, this is what I want. I want all of you to go a little bit deeper in your relationship just because you think something isn't possible. I could never go there. When you're with a partner where you feel safe and you're actually having really healthy, helpful conversations and you feel safe to explore that, you're like Let me try to explore the dominant side. If it didn't work, it would have been okay.

Right.

And then in him giving you permission to. Maybe it's awkward the first time if you weren't, like, standing up there with a whip.

No, no.

Right.

And now I have.

I have floggers now she's got the floggers and the whips, but not the first time. So I think also, you guys, another thing you can use is a spreader bar. It's not only great for, like, binding your feet, but it also adds in some, like, power play. So you can put your. Michelle was using it earlier that you can, you know, put this around your legs. I can't do it.

Yeah, I think you should do it.

I'm wearing a dress. You can wear shoes.

To your ankles and then take off my shoes to your hands. Yes.

Michelle, don't shoot up my skirt. Okay. This doesn't fit on my toes, but. So a spreader bar is hot. Because, you guys, it's sort of like it's power play. You have your hands and your feet. I can't. We've never done that. And my dresses in your ankles, too.

Don't worry.

My ankles and they're spread apart, and it's just another power play that. You said you have a spreader bar. Right, Christina? At home, I have multiple. Why am I doing this? And.

I am dominant and submissive.

Yes, you are. You are multi. So that's what happens right here.

Okay. But you could also put your hands in there. You probably just have a bar or.

No.

Do you have everything?

I have one like this that you have that where you can put your ankles and your wrists around. And I also have one that's just for your legs. So it actually just keeps them spread. And so that way, you know, it's almost like, in a way, a little painful, which I'm okay with. And then having to, like, you know, stay in that position while you're trying to have intercourse or sex or, you know, being dominant, submissive.

So what part of it is painful? The actual. Your legs are. Because they're spreading, because it's all spread.

Right.

So it's kind of like you are open. Like, your partner's essentially saying by you wearing the spreader bar, like, you are open to me, I can take you in any way.

I can leave you. I can come back, and then I can leave again. Exactly. Yeah. It's really hot.

Yeah. You guys, this is all hot stuff. This Little Beginner Bondage 101.

All right, we have Katie who's 24 in California. She wants to know how to be more dominant in bed.

Okay, what's going on?

Tell me.

Um, so my husband is dominant in bed, but he sometimes wants me to be. And I'm just. I get really shy and I don't know what to do, like, how I should go about trying to do it.

Yeah, it's a great question, Katie.

So.

Because why would you know if you've never done it before? And so you're in the position that a lot of people are when our partner tells us they want something and we're like, I don't know what that means. Like, I'm not sure what it means to be dominant. So my first thing would. Would be to ask him and say, can you walk me through a scenario.

Or show me what you mean?

How would you, like, be dominant? Because that also looks different. Does he want you to tie him up? Does he want you to spank him?

Does he want verbal domination?

Does he want you to verbally use dominant words? I think you get to totally ask here and say, you know what? I would love to get to know more about this. Tell me what that looks like to you. So there's nothing wrong with you. You don't know. And I was gonna ask Christina here, because Christina is her husband. You weren't into being dominant.

Right.

And then he kind of taught you. You didn't know it was gonna be your thing. And then how did you guys learn that? That might be helpful for Katie?

Yeah, I actually did exactly what your advice is that I asked him.

I asked it if it was something that he. And he told me he likes to be humiliated.

Okay.

And so that's when I discovered. Oh, okay. And then what is that kind of thing that you want to be humiliated? But do you want. He's like, I want to think of you being with, like, another man.

Okay.

And tell me what you would do with him. And that's going to humiliate me. And so he just wanted me to.

Talk more deeply, more verbally. Okay, exactly.

Ok.

Right.

How would you know? Like, you didn't know if he wanted handcuffs and to be spanked, but it was more verbal domination.

He wanted more verbal domination.

Okay.

And he does. Like, now it's progressed to more, like, I can also, you know, do bondage and I can also do other things with him. But it gets more as they, you know, we both discover together. And it's actually very beautiful.

Expanding. That is really beautiful. I love all the layers. Feeling back with Christina. Sex life. So Katie does that make sense to you? Does that. Could, could that be helpful to have just some more conversations? Maybe he can show you some porn that he likes that have some scenes in it that show what he's into. But you in no way have to be nailing this right now.

Yeah, I think I just. Because I. I get like shy and embarrassed almost. So I think asking would probably be better. I just don't know what exactly.

And I'm telling you, you shouldn't. You don't have to know, Katie, you shouldn't know. Don't beat yourself up. Of course you're embarrassed. You know, it's okay.

Like, you're shy.

You haven't done it before. It's a new skill. And it's okay to ask a lot of questions.

All right, we have Carmen, 64, in Arizona who wants to ask about anal toys.

Hey, Carmen, how you doing?

Hi, how are you? Dr. Emily?

Hi, I'm good. Thanks for calling.

I wanted to thank you because thanks to you, I had the first talk ever about sex and toys. And it was so wonderful. We're going to go to a store to buy some toys.

And it brought us closer. You have no idea how amazing. We've been dating two years and it's just gone up our level of, you know, closeness. So thank you for that.

Yes, of course I remember. You're 64, right, Carmen? You're 64. And how old is he?

Yes, but just by listening to your program, just being amazing, which is even better. My question is I about anal, because I had anal sex with my ex with my first husband and sincerely, we were very tipsy and I really enjoyed it, but I never wanted to do it again. I thought it was, I don't know, perversion that I was thinking. And so then with my boyfriend a few, like 10 years ago, I really tried.

Here's the thing, Carmen. Yeah, well, here's the thing. It's mostly people have bad first time experience like that they're drunk and then like, oh, no, wrong hole, it goes in, or you know, it's going in, but you don't use lube and you don't go slow. So the most important thing is for you to be turned on and warmed up to use A lot of. Actually, you're asking about toys. It says here is that there's the. The BE Vibe has a beginner anal kit and it has different size butt plugs to build up. It has amazing lube. It has a lube shooter actually to move the lube long. So that might be. It has A Beginner guide to Anal. That's literally the best beginner guide I've ever read. It's like very easy to read. There's pictures. I would start there because for many women, Carmen, they don't realize they can actually have pleasure through anal because they just had a bad time, they had a bad experience, they never tried it again. It can actually give you a lot.

Of pleasure if you do it right and slow down.

How about that?

Carmen, I really. Well, the only time I. Well, excuse me. The only time I enjoyed it was the first time, but I didn't want to do it because I thought there was a mental block on. This is not good.

Right? It's taboo. Oh my God, I'm a bad person.

Yeah, but I really enjoyed it. But I never wanted to. But then now, 10 years ago when I tried again, I couldn't get to like it. We tried it a few times.

Great. But now you're going to try it, right, Carmen? Okay, well, now you'll try it. Try the beginner anal kit. Awesome.

Thanks, Carmen.

All right, we have a Cindy, 55 in New Orleans that wants to ask about squirting.

Hey, Sydney, what's going on? Thanks for calling.

So I have a question for you. I'm very, very lucky. My husband and I have a wonderful sex life. I'm multi orgasmic. And about four or five years ago my husband was able to get me to squirt. And now he is obsessed. He wants me to do it again. And I've been like, no, no, I don't want to try this again.

I don't know why.

What I did that caused it to happen.

It just, it happened. So I'd like to go ahead and fulfill his fantasy of having me do that again.

But how does it happen? I mean, what, what did I do?

I mean, a lot of times it has to do.

Yeah.

You know, it is, it is like it's.

Did it happen?

Was he using his fingers or were you having sex? Was using a toy? Do you remember what was happening? And I can, Maybe I can explain to you more.

Sure.

He was using his fingers.

Okay.

And I was standing and he was sitting on the left seat.

Oh, okay.

Well, this makes sense. So if you were standing, it means that your legs were closer together. You were probably tensing and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles and you're probably clenching your them together a little bit tighter too. So when you're standing, I actually that's a really great way to squirt. I've squirted that way. Um, and so I think that's probably why you were squeezing your pelvic floor muscles. He was using his fingers to penetrate and going in and out and hitting your G spot. Maybe try that again. It really is just continual stimulation of the G spot. It helps to already be aroused to have, like, a clitoral orgasm. First for some women, it helps to, like, kind of rub over the pubic mound, like, right above your clitoris, using the Magic Wand vibrator. Kind of works for a lot of people.

Yeah.

Use that over your pubic mound. Have him use his fingers, and then place the Magic wand on your pubic mound. But that's where you pie pressure with it. I'm telling you, it's been like this. We had the the owners of Magic Wand a few months ago. We love them. And I'm like, have you heard this a lot too? They're like, yeah, all the time. So that's what happens for years. Yes.

Before I ever even discovered you, I was reading up and found one, and.

I thought, this is a good toy.

I don't know when you got it, but they have one that's wireless now. A cordless.

Oh, yeah.

You don't even need to plug it. Yeah, you don't need to plug it in. And it's just as powerful. It's cordless. I know. It was huge. When that came out four years ago.

Like, we had a parade.

It was only in our office, but we were excited. So that's what it is. It's all G spot. Play with the toys, play with his fingers, and stand up straight. That all makes sense to me.

I would just try to recreate that.

Okay, awesome. All right, go do me, you. And again, don't feel pressure, Sydney. But, you know, why not see how.

It goes Again, Thanks, Sydney.

After the break, I'll answer more of.

Your questions about kink and bdsm.

This next one comes to us from Terri, who's 43 in Ohio. She writes, my husband and I are looking for recommendation for nipple clamps. We've never used them before and really don't know where to start. Are there beginner nipple clamps? Do the choice of clamps depend on level of sensitivity or desired sensation? For me, I'm super sensitive and can actually the orgasm with nipple stim alone. Who knew that was possible, right? Any product recommendations? Thanks.

Oh, Terri, we knew it was possible, but we haven't had one yet here at Saxon leave. I love that you have nipple orgasms. Nipple orgasms are very common orgasm that women can have, really can be A lot easier to achieve, but a lot.

Of women don't take the time figuring that out.

And nipple clamps are a great way to start. So here's the thing.

There are some really cool ones that you can vary. The sensitivity. I like the Bound to please nipple clamps. If you go to our website and you click on the store, what's really cool about these just, like put in nipple clamps into our store because they have screws on them that are connected by, like a removable chain. And so you can tighten the grip just from very, very light to intense. So you can play with them. Your partner can play with them by just kind of moving a little screw. That gets them a little bit tighter and a little bit tighter so you can actually play with them. And they're really sexy looking. They have a few pairs that are great. So yes, absolutely. Get ones that you can vary. You can go from, you know, sensitive to. You can go from tight to whatever, whatever. I said the ones that you can go from light to intense. So I think that'd be a great solution. And then also I think use some lube. If you haven't tried that on your.

Breasts, that feels amazing. Oh, by the way, speaking of lube, I'm obsessed with playground. You know how much I love lube, and it takes a lot for me to actually recommend one and say, like.

This is what I love.

Well, playground is new. It has all these incredible ingredients, especially if you have a vulva.

These are the ingredients you'd want to.

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But it's for everybody.

It's great for partnered sex. They have four different essences.

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You'll be obsessed.

Let me know what you think.

Okay? And then let's talk to Jen. He's. She's 32 in Minnesota. Jen writes. Hi, Emily. Here's my question. My husband and I have a great sex life. We love sex and love exploring together. I'd really like to have him choke me during sex, but he's scared of hurting me. We're fine with other BDSM play, but for some reason he's worried about the choking thing. Are there any tips or tricks or techniques that we could try? Thank you.

Yes. This is a great question, you guys, because breath play, auto erotic fixation and breath play are serious work, guys. You have to know what you're doing when you want to choke your partner. I get that it's really hot.

We see it a lot in porn right now.

And the thing about choking and the attraction to it is that it really is more about, like, domination, submission, like role playing, power play than it is, you know, more than the not breathing. And so it's important to be conscious of this and to be cautious of this, because maybe what you're looking for is maybe just more of the domination part of it. So first of all, you always want to start with a light touch. So you could put his fingers on either side of your neck, like, on either side of your esophagus, not on the front of your neck, where you could choke, actually, and stop breathing. And he could just do it really lightly and make sure again, that his hands are not on your throat and maybe whisper something in your ear or just, like, use more aggression with his hands grasped around your neck. Because I think that people can just, like, do this wrong. And I think that you want to be safe. You also want to make sure that you are using a clear mind. You're not using too much alcohol, too many drugs. You can also take a class, like, there are classes online you can take and, like, learn. Like, what is the proper way to touch my partner's neck? Because you just want to start really gently, like I said, either side of the esophagus, and figure out what pressure.

Works for your partner.

Because when you do push on the neck, that's where you gather the breath. You'll start coughing. It's not sexy, and it's dangerous. So play with his fingers around your.

Neck and not blocking your pathways.

I think that's the best way to do it. And I get why he's worried, because he should be.

Be careful, be mindful, play with it.

So this next email comes to us from Chris, who's 26 in Illinois. He writes. Hi, Emily. What is your take on couples who masturbate together? And how can I bring this up to a partner?

Wow, Chris, hello. I'm so happy to get this question because I am obsessed with mutual masturbation, which I just talked about. I think it's amazing, and I think it, again, variety. It's a way to connect with your partner. It's a twofer, actually, because when you mutually masturbate with your partner, it's hot because you're actually looking at them please themselves. So it's hot. It's, like, visually stimulating.

But then you're also learning.

It's educational. I can't tell you how many times I've mutually masturbated with a new partner. Sounds funny, but I've had a lot of times where I'm like, oh, I didn't know that he put his hands around his balls, and then he takes his hand up and over the tip of his penis. So then I knew that that's where he's sensitive. He likes to get my hand to.

Go over it when I'm giving a hand job.

And when you're looking at your. If you're with a female partner, like, oh, I didn't know that she put fingers inside of her. And so it's a very. I think it's a really sexy, hot thing to do. That's one thing. So I'm a huge fan of it. How you bring it up is outside the bedroom to your partner, talking about your sex life or whatever's happening and say, I've had these fantasies lately, and I thought it'd be so hot to see what you do when you masturbate, when you pleasure yourself. And I could do it at the same time, or I could just watch you. Would you be open to that? I think it would be really sexy to see what you do. I think that'd be hot. The best way to ease into it is if your partner says, no, I'm really embarrassed.

I'm really shy. Cause you're right.

That is the question that they're going to ask.

They're gonna.

That's a common reaction, is, tell me more.

What part about it makes you feel shy?

And getting some more information, getting some more clarifying questions. Well, I don't know. I feel like I don't really know. And you wouldn't think I was sexy if I was doing it. And you might judge me. You might think it's weird. Okay, well, I'm telling you now, you know. Okay, let him say that. Well, yeah, no, I think anything you do is hot. Like, I think watching you in pleasure. And then I could learn more how to please you. And I just think it'd be so sexy. And then if they're like, no, no, I think it's weird, or whatever you could say, okay, well, maybe we could.

Try it over our pants.

Or maybe we could. I could do it and you could watch. Or maybe I could masturbate you. You know, just. Or if they say no, just say, okay, like, bring it up again. Maybe in another way. Like, I. I think asking. Getting a little bit deeper and getting some more clarifying questions around and answers.

Around why they don't want Something would happen. Help ease it along.

We have Jeff, who's 31 in New Jersey. He wants to know how he can ease his new girlfriend into the idea of wearing a strap on.

Oh, there you go.

Welcome.

Hey, Jeff, thanks for calling.

Did you like that wordplay with a little ease on in?

Yeah, ease it on in.

Maybe.

I loved it. I love everything about this. Tell me more. How long have you guys been together?

Okay, so we've been dating about five months. She's great, you know, I love her to death. Beautiful, smart, and like the whole nine yards. But not very adventurous in bed. And again, five months is, you know, I don't know if it's long or short. It's.

It's. It's about time to talk about what.

You guys want in the bedroom.

Yeah. And I kind of hinted at it and. Yeah. And it was almost like, you know, a no go. Like, I tried to, like, guide the finger there, you know, and it gets pushed away.

Yeah.

So I don't really. I don't know if this is, like, you know, a deal breaker or not.

Yeah, well.

So.

Okay, here's the thing, Jeff. So you're 31 years old. Is she your age as well?

She's 28.

Okay, so here's the thing. You've been together five months. You know, I think you have to have the conversation about sex outside the bedroom, because if you're telling me she's not that adventurous, it's not that likely that she would be into you leading her finger towards your ass because she's. And it's. He loved it, Jeff.

See, everyone's yelling at me for laughing, but I just think butt stuff is funny in general.

Butt stuff is funny. People love butt.

No judgment.

I just, like, think it's funny.

Yeah, it is funny. Thank you, Jeff. I think it's kind of like outside the bedroom. You can say, you know what? I'm so into you, I think you're hot. I love the sex that we're having. And I'd love to be such an amazing lover to you. So I want to know, would you be open to figuring out together what we could do to. To really turn you on? Take our sex life, you know, to the neck. Take your orgasm to the next level. Like, make it about her pleasure, make it about all that, and then we can kind of like ease into.

And this is what I would like. But I think the more that you.

Open her up and she starts to feel safe with you, and the only reason she's not adventurous is because a, she probably has some judgments around sex and being adventurous. It could be her relig religion or something happened to her. Her friends are judging, we don't know, but she's not opening up yet. Or that's probably it. Or it could just be that, you know, she literally hasn't had enough experience on the planet, so she doesn't even know what it. What's on the menu to be adventurous. So it's a matter of like, you're.

Gonna have to question.

Okay.

Jeff, I'm sorry, when you guys. I don't know how old you are, but like when you were younger and stuff like that, was that something? You know, I've always dated younger women. Not to say that I'm looking to date somebody 10 years older. But like, like you think, is it an age thing? Like, do you, you know, the women or she may be still figuring that stuff out at this point.

Well, I'd love to say yes. Well, definitely younger women in their 20s, early, you know, 20s who just, you know, haven't been having sex as long. There's definitely a learning curve for sure. But I'm telling you, I have women who call me every single night in their 40s, 50s, their 30s, who. Who still have not figured it out. Most women are not invested in their pleasure. They're not invested in their sexual health.

Their sexual wellness and their pleasure.

They don't even know it. So I would like to say it more skews younger, but we hear from people every sing, so. But in this case, it might be that she's 28 years old. She hasn't been in a lot of relationships. And when she has, she was having a straight old missionary in and out guy pounding away at her like a jackhammer. We don't know. But I'm assuming that might have been what's been going down with her.

But also I feel like a lot of men are adverse to butt stuff on themselves. And so it's like a conditioning that we adapt because, like, there's guys that I've been with who are open about that and want that. And then other guys are like very adverse to it, even though they may like it if they tried it.

Right.

There's a judgment around it.

It for sure.

But she could have been like absorbing that information unconsciously as well.

100 did. She's probably because you said she's not adventurous. She. You're 100, right? 70. She probably is never like, I want to figure his butt. Is he gay?

Yeah.

That's so weird. You know, so she probably doesn't really understand it. Every single day on the show I'm informing people and I'm I'm giving them the information to understand that like, yeah, guys got a prostate, they can have killer orgasms. It does not make you gay, just makes you smart it up because you realize, whoa, I can have another kind of orgasm. Like if I was a dude I'd be like, sign me up all the time. So there is a big learning curve for this. Jeff.

That's it for today's episode.

See you on Friday.

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