Steak, Blowjobs & Anal Explorations

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God. That feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know what? Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com, go there now. Do it now. You can easily subscribe to everything, all of our social media, which I do believe that you will. Enjoy our newsletter. Subscribe to the podcast, which makes everyone's life so much easier. And go shopping. We've got a store. Take a gander. All the great products that I talk about are there on the website, and it's a good time. And I'm here with Anderson. Happy Sticky Blowjob Day. How's it going for you so far?

It's going fantastic. It's. It's my favorite day of the year.

Any steaks? Any blowjobs?

You know, it'd be awful if you get those mixed up or, like, she's eating the steak while trying to give the blowjob.

That's a.

That's a bad. First of all, she's not that bright, so you should probably leave her. Second of all right, it's steak and blowjob, especially if it's raw or, like, you know, rare. But now I've never had the opportunity to actually enjoy that. I don't think that my. My wife takes do.

I'm gonna give her a call.

Is it bad to say current wife? That's probably not a good outlook.

Yeah, well, your wife. The only wife. The wife.

The only wife.

How about the wife?

The wife? Yeah, the wife. I don't think she has any idea where it is on the calendar. If she did know, she'd probably hate that day.

A lot of women might hate this day, but I think it's a day to embrace it. Come on. It's an easy one. It's like a slam dunk. Meat and blowjobs. Like, I'm not saying that. Like, every guy. I wonder who came up with probably a dude. Probably guys who wrote the Constitution.

Probably a Freddie.

Right response to Valentine's Day.

Male response.

I had to put up Valentine's Day. So why don't we do this? And we all know how you feel about Valentine's Day as well.

I appreciate it. I'm glad that it's out there floating around.

I have, like, a rodeo and Cunningus day.

I don't think Hallmark has gotten involved yet.

No, not yet. No, they wouldn't. Probably because, like, Disney, Hallmark, all that stuff. But, hey, blowjobs are, you know, for lovers. Who doesn't like blowjob? Who doesn't like oral sex. Right, right. Correct.

Right.

Some people don't. But I'm shocked by those people, especially women. But I know a lot of women just. I feel like for a lot of women.

Too sensitive.

Yeah, it's too sensitive. I know. That's what Drew we said on the line.

Like, they're too sensitive about their scent down there.

Yeah. Their scent, or they think they look funny because this girl in porn had a different vagina, and all vaginas are different, and they're like snowflakes. Okay. Speaking of your current wife.

Yes.

I'm curious. Where did you guys go on your first vacation? Do you remember?

No.

No.

I'm sorry. That's a terrible answer.

No, it's.

I took her on a day trip that was like, five hours away from where we lived, but we didn't spend the night.

Okay.

Okay.

I can't remember.

That's. That's a great question. And I'm kind of ashamed that I.

Don'T remember because it leads into this.

We've been on so many. We've been. We've been out of town so many times to, like. Well, it's kind of embarrassing to admit, but I was somewhat homeless when we first started dating. Like, I was just kind of, like, living on friends couches.

Yeah.

So the first time that we ever, like.

And she's still with you?

Yeah. Like, I would get, like, really, like, you know, Motel Sixes and stuff, and we'd stay there.

Right. Well, it worked.

But that was kind of like a vacation, I guess. So I guess Newberry Park.

Hey, dude, it works. I'm just asking because a lot of couples, we always say it's a good time to get to know someone go out of town.

And road trips are great to let road trips make sure it's not too far, though, if you don't know the other person that well, because you'll realize that if you guys should be together on the way there or not, and then you got to come back, and if it's not working out, the drive back is brutal.

Exactly. I remember going through this before. So couples. I'm going right into sex. The news here, because I like this story. Couples who choose Mexico for first vacation are more likely to break up. Couples who go to Mexico for their first holiday together are more likely to break up, a survey says. So it was the number one destination for couples who subsequently went from just 2 to 1. So the survey said that it pulled 2,100 adults. And of those who had broken up soon after their first holiday, 21%, they've been to Mexico. Ibiza was the second worst breakup. Yeah. 17%, followed by Portugal. 12%. Yeah. Ibiza is just a big party. I think that'd be number one. But maybe not as many who go to Ibiza. And then I started thinking about Mexico, and I've literally been to Mexico, probably with seven guys in my Life. And none of them worked out. But that's not why I don't think.

That Mexico, anywhere you've been with a guy, you can say it didn't work out anywhere.

Exactly. But yeah, I just thought that was interesting. It's left a relationship because Mexico just says, let's go have blackout sex.

And lots of Mexican, especially like our Mexico, speaking from Southern California, like that's a lot of like college relationships. Right. And they're going down there for the weekend. Going down to tj, you know, they're.

Not going to easy for everyone. Right. Because this study says that people who went to Spain and Italy and Cyprus as their first time getaway, it's a long relationship that sparked a long relationship.

Well, that's because they're both from money and they're probably almost like arranged marriage too sophisticated something.

And we're probably in Europe anyway and we don't go to Mexico. But I just thought it was interesting and it is important for couples to take time away. And here's the thing, even going to Motel 6, which I used to do.

That as well, just great change of scenery.

You still have to change it up. I always say, like one of my number one tips. You're like, how do I spice it up? I'm like, get outside your bedroom, do something different. But don't go to Mexico, apparently. Although let's not forget that I had my best sex of the year.

Yes.

In Mexico.

I was gonna bring that up if you didn't.

Were you?

I went to get a massage and she got the full body.

I did not that moment. It wasn't like in the moment, you're.

Like, it's good that the strength is right. Just more inside, please. Could you do more inside?

That was a highlight of my sexual escapades in 2016. Although there weren't many. But I have to say that that's okay. Cause I'm happy that the year went out with the bang with that one. I love that. So, anything else? How are you? Are you good?

I'm good, I'm well. How you. How you been? What's been going down over here?

Good. Yeah.

Well, I lied last time I was on. I said I'm not going to come back until after the movies. I was able to squeeze one more in. You know how much I love coming here and seeing you shit it. So. Yeah. Now this is probably the last time I'm going to see you for a few weeks because I'm going to be shooting the movie, which saddens me. Yeah.

But I'M glad you're doing the movie.

Yeah. You know what, I. And I owe a great gratitude to you as well for helping make this movie become a reality. We had a really great time at our brunch with Marvin.

Mervin.

Mervin. Mervin. Sorry, Mervyn. I did that all the entire time.

Marvin. Yeah, No, I love being my listeners. It's fun. We should maybe do auctions a lot.

We should do that. Just, you know. Yeah.

And then coming. I have my date with the. The guy who, the UV guy? Yeah.

I got a question about that UV stuff. Does it kill aids?

Does it kill aids?

Like, let's say you had like AIDS on. On like one of your sex drugs.

Aids. What do you mean? Like, like, you never know.

Put it in the UV thing. Does it kill.

It kills. It kills. 98.9% of hero bacteria.

99.9. Is that 1.

Put your gut in there. Yeah. Can you know what others important thing the UV does is that it also sanitizes your phone.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Sanitize everything. Like, how friggin dirty is your phone? Do you clean your phone every day?

They say that the phone is filthier than toilets.

I believe it.

I clean my phone every day. I'm lucky if I clean it once every six months.

You clean yourself every day? But it's important now I'm doing it. I take like wipes to my bed and I clean it. What?

The new phones, right? The iPhone 7s, aren't they waterproof?

Yeah, I dropped mine once.

I get one. What?

Well, I always drop mine in toilet. One in the toilet or somewhere. It's filthy water. Something spills on it. Not on purpose.

What I'm saying though, I'm like, this will be fun. I don't have one yet, but when I get, you know, we're all gonna have most of our lives, we're probably gonna have waterproof phones. Right. Because technology.

Why haven't we?

I'm going to get in the habit of just taking it in the shower with me every day. It's like a part of my person.

I don't think it can get that wet.

Yeah, well, the new ones will. Yeah. So I'm gonna, you know, wash my hair. And then you wash your armpits, you know, down regions and then the phone. That'd be like the fifth thing.

Yeah, I think you could just use those wipey things. That's what I do now because this woman told me that every night she gets in bed, she washes her face and then she takes these little Wipes. And she wipes her phone.

She have a husband or a man in her life.

She's got so much time on her hands. It just is kind of gross. But, yeah, the UV can do that, which is really fun.

This is the phone that I'm looking at right now that's sitting next to you.

So dirty.

That's been in the toilet.

No, not. I'm not. Don't talk about it, because now it's gonna fall in the toilet. No, but now I feel like it's gonna drop in the toilet, because we're talking about dropping toilet. Just like I got a new laptop.

Because that's been in the toilet too.

No, I was saying I don't need a new laptop. And then we were talking the office that we need. And then I dropped it.

Right.

But it didn't break. It's right there. But I got a new one. Isn't this pretty?

It is. It's very.

But just like phones, everything chargers changing. And the thing.

And the thing, like all that that you had that you paid extra for, it's useless.

But I'm not complaining.

Engineered obsolescence is what they call that.

What?

Engineered obsolescence.

Making it obsolete so you spend more money.

Yeah, I do it on purpose, that's all.

Absolutely. Why do they. Why would they. Yeah, that's why you upgrade your phone to get to all your information. It's dark, but it's great.

When they do it with sex toys, though, it makes sense because they're advancing. They're always making newer ones that are better, that can reach.

That's true. Sex toys are just. Oh, my God. There's amazing toys out there right now. We just. We get amazing products here, I have to say. What'd you say? If only they could cook or go to the farmer's market with you, life would be good. But no. And I also think in my new home, like I've talked about, it really has changed, changed my life in so many ways. Just to be in a space. It's been here for four years, and I've never had a house. I've always been kind of in between.

Right.

I'm like, oh, I'm gonna move out of this place in a or six months. And I was there for three and a half.

And you want to nest here? You want to sit there?

I'm nesting a little bit. Yeah.

Set down roots.

Yeah, I got plates.

I'm gonna cook.

Get blue apron. The whole thing is happening. My sex toys are organized by color.

It's a great little neighborhood So I lived in that neighborhood for a couple years.

I really like that. I love my neighborhood. I like the people, the whole thing. So that's awesome.

Yeah.

So I am going to give a shout out to our sponsors right now and then we're going to do some emails. And thank you everyone also for following me on all my social media. Cause I love doing it. Snapchat, we're doing that right now. Snapchat, Instagram, Exfemily, Facebook, all that fun stuff. And thank you for supporting our sponsors. We only talk about products and toys and things like that that we've tried and that we love. So thank you for supporting us.

Yeah, you. You kind of pick and choose your sponsors. You say no to sponsors you would never be on.

It's got stuff delivered just now. Jamie just came in, said we got packages and I know these one we're not gonna like and I'm not gonna talk about it.

I can tell the listener right now, it's pretty much podcasts across the board. As far as the people that I know and the shows that I do, we get to kind of pick. If you're listening to there's. There's a notorious AM station. I heard that's huge. And I hear these hosts talking about products. None of them use them. They don't have a choice though, because it's the mucky walk at the top. Say you're the spots that you're reading. In the podcast world, we get to say no. And sometimes, you know, it does hurt your wallet a little bit. But we don't feel comfortable because the show is you. It's a station. There's no station above you. And so you know that this is truth.

Yeah. I'm not like desperate to like, oh, support something that I don't know. And what's. That's also the thing I love about podcast listeners, and you know this as well, is that you guys are so like loyal and engaged and you're engaged. And you have supported a lot of my sponsors and you've bought their products, which is why I can do the show. And I gonna say this right now, that I'd like to do. Add a third show this year.

A third show. A week or two a week, really.

And I wanna add another one. And that's because you guys are supporting the show.

Three a week.

Wow. How about that?

Dude, look at that.

I love doing the shows. I'm like, why aren't doing more shows and more videos? That's why I love doing. Can't we just do more Three a week. That's the problem.

Menage au trois.

How about that? Okay, everyone, so thank you for that, and we'll be right back with your emails.

Okay? If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, I will do that. Just check out my website stacks with Emily. Go to the Ask Emily tab and fill up the form, hit send, then it's there. And you can also choose to be called because we'd like to call you and get into your questions and help you. And you can also leave me a voicemail. 818-Askswe, or 818-275-7931. As always, include your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show.

818. That's the area code for the Valley, which is the. I'm giving the listener a good way to memorize it. Yeah, 818 is the. The area code for the Valley, which is where all the porn used to be shot back when the porn industry was huge. So 8, 1, 8. And then it's swe I don't even know.

Yes. Sorry. Ask swe.

Ask swe1. So it's simple.

No, but somebody on Snapchat. So I said a snap. And I was like, hey, everyone, like, send me a question. A voicemail. And some kid messaged me and said, hey, what does that mean? Like, he might not have even known 8 that the phone numbers can be numbers. Is that like an older.

No, I think for a while, some of the newer cell phones, for a little bit, they didn't have the number. I remember we had that problem at Loveline, but no longer. Now pretty much every phone I know, my iPhone does. And, you know, they have the numbers.

Like, if you look at the keyboard.

But SWE is sex with Emily too, if you're not making that connection. So it's Ask SWE one.

So, like, really, if you look at it, it's like 7, 9, 3, 1.

You said it.

I said it. But now I'm looking at my phone to make sure I had numbers, and I did. Those were dark times when you couldn't match up the numbers.

Yeah, it was a really, really brief time. I can't remember exactly what was going on, but I think it was maybe the Trios and the blackberries that people were having issues with.

That dark, dark time. Okay. Hey, Emily, I just started listening to your podcast this year, and I love it. I'm having troubles with my own sex life, so I lost my virginity summer going into college, and I was very drunk, so I only remember Small portions of the night. I recently just had a one night stand and I've been trying to slightly get back with the guy at the same time, but I think he's fucking another girl now.

Jesus.

We never talked about our night and I would say I'm inexperienced about anything in the bedroom. My main issue is this. I want more sex but I'm not comfortable going around with different guys. So I guess my question is what do I do from here? Thank you. Megan, age 19. I don't know why Siri is talking to me.

Emily's Siri just turned on and it's dictating what she's saying and it distracted both of us and it's doing a really good job. I'm actually really impressed with that.

I know. Inexperience. I don't know what it means if you. She says if you like I can search inexperience about anything that I want more than sex.

Everything you just said though to Megan as you were reading her email right now too.

Should we see what Siri finds?

What if. What if she syria contacts Megan with an answer of her own? Oh, sentient beings.

I want to see what Siri did here. Okay. Oh, let's talk to Megan. Okay. Sorry. Megan. Megan, my sweet, you're 19. This is the reality check of the day. Okay, here's your reality check. I don't love the idea of you just finding guys out there to have sex with to get more experience. That is not the solution. It doesn't work this way. A bunch of one night stands is not going to help you on your mission.

Nope.

To feel confident and to enjoy sex.

Counterintuitive.

You have sex, right?

Does seem like it would. It does, but it doesn't. It actually kind of, I think makes you even more confused. The doctor Drew in me is saying 19 years old already having blackout sex. Megan.

Right?

Crystal balls. Not looking fondly.

No. That's an interesting point. Let's get down to drinking, make some friends. Like go out on dates.

Restricted to like Miller Lite for a while.

Yeah. God. That's what we drank in college. Is that everyone drink in college. And Pabs Blue ribbon Paps.

That's Pabst Big with the. With the hipster.

With the Midwest. I know, but we were Midwest. Okay, here's the thing. The more that you sex with someone that you know, Megan, the more comfortable you will feel. So going after this one night stand guy who's having sex with someone else. Good. Let him go. He's a one night stand for a reason. But just like here's the thing about, about sex is that the more sex, you know, sexual confidence comes from like sexual competence. And how you're going to get sexual competence is when you first of all understand your own body and what makes you feel good. And also like the more like listening to the show will help you have like competence because you'll start to understand and educate yourself around sex. And then also experience will help you have confidence. But really just experience, it's like the right kind of experience. Not having blackout sex, not just having this urgent, I have to have as much under my belt, right? That's not how you get good at it.

The under the belt. I think I have a good analogy. Let's say you want to be a, you want to be a storyteller, you want to be a writer. And you're going to go about doing that and getting experience by reading the first page of a bunch of different books. You're not going to be a good writer.

That's a good one.

Because you're not following through and you're not figuring out how the whole thing works. Especially if you're drinking when you're reading these first pages of all these different novels. So gotta find a novel, stick with it for a while. That novel might be yourself too, right? It might just be getting to know yourself. Like you say, show in, show out. That especially the ladies, they gotta figure out how their bodies work.

You do. Masturbation is sex with someone you love. And the more that you understand your body and you spend time masturbating without a goal in mind. If you haven't had an orgasm yet, that's totally fine, but it's just like touching yourself and fantasizing. You will learn that like, oh, this feels really good. And then when you have sex with someone, you'll know how to. That actually will help with your sexual confidence and competence as well.

And you gotta be sober enough to remember what works and what doesn't, right?

Do you have like, I guess you probably do blackout masturbation sex?

What? What is that?

I don't know. When you have sex, you know, masturbating, you don't remember? Like, do you wake up, go, whoa, it's all sticky?

What? No.

You never just masturbate when you're gone?

Never happens.

How do you know?

I've had like blackout like one night stands where I remember that I think we had sex. That, that's about how bad it's gotten. But I've never woken up with my pants down.

No, I don't think that would happen. I would think that would happen if you thought you were going to get laid that night.

Especially if it happened like at a friend's house or something. Or my parents house. I'm in the living room and I wake up and they're like getting ready for breakfast. Oh my God, that's awful. I can't believe I've never seen a scenario like that in a movie or something.

Blackout master.

I'm sure it has happened.

Yeah.

Now you know why it doesn't.

I have. I mean I got blackout, but I've had like. Oh, I've got masturbate like my toys there in the bed.

And you forgot.

I didn't forget. Forget, but I wake up.

Maybe you did.

I didn't forget.

This happened often, but the females more so than the men. Because if you're that drunk, it's hard to even get it going.

Well, that's true too. Yeah, it's hard to get it going. It's hard to get your mind on board.

God did that on purpose so that we wouldn't be just found past passed out with semen all over our chest and our pants down every.

I don't think God had anything to do with it, but.

Because that would be a thing that would not be unique, I think. I think it would happen a lot more like any guy that had a roommate in college would probably have woken up in the morning with his roommate on the couch, pants down, finished, but passed out.

Yeah, I would just think that guys, because they just want to release themselves and if you're drunk, you just lose that sense of.

You get to the point where you're so drunk you don't even think. You're just thinking like, I need a hot dog.

No, I get it.

Right?

The food is never a problem. Yeah, you can always eat. Okay. Hey, Emily, I've been listening for a little over a year to you now and I love your show. I just want you to know that you've helped me with your tips so much. I try to use them every chance I get. I'm engaged and I'm absolutely in love with my fiance. She's the only woman who I've been with and the sex is amazing. We're so in sync with each other that we come to this. We come at the same time. However, I have to pull out. I've always wanted to know what it's like to come inside of her, but I don't want to run the risk of getting her pregnant as we are not in the stage of our life to have kids yet.

If only there's, like, prophylactics in the world.

She is on the pill, and since. Just keep listening, Anderson. She's on the pill, and since she has been on it a while, we no longer use condoms. What's the chance of her getting pregnant if I come inside her? And she's been on birth control for six months. Thanks for your advice. Keep up the great work. Matt, age 21. Matt, my darling, I'm so glad you listened to the show, and I'm so glad you emailed me, because today is your lucky day. I've got some amazing news for you, Stats. She's on the pill.

Yeah.

You can come inside her. It's 99 point. It's 99% effective.

I was gonna say 99.9 is. Joe.

No, it truly is. It truly is. 99% effective. You are so good to go, however, so that means you're good. Like, you don't need to wear condoms anymore. She's been on the pill for six months. It's 99% effective if you use it correctly. Now, what does this mean? She takes it every single day. She doesn't skip a day. If she skips a day, it drops down to, like, 91% or 87% effective.

Just one day.

Just one day.

Wow.

If she, you know, or she misses several pills. A lot of chicks, you got to leave it by your bed or wherever you think you're gonna, you know, set an alarm on your phone. It's so easy to remember. But she's got to take it correctly. If you have sick. If you're sick, like, if you have diarrhea or you vomit.

What? Emily.

Yeah, no, it's true. It becomes less effective. Yeah, well, it's just true. Sorry, I don't like talking about poop, anything, But I'm just trying to give some medical advice here, some technical advice. So, Matt, I'm glad. See, this is what I'm saying. You could have, like. So, Matt, you're good. And first of all, I love that you're coming together and you're pulling out. You're like the miracle couple, and you're 21 and you're engaged.

All right, I'm concerned with this. His only partner ever. That's. That's a little bit troubling. I don't know if this is going to be, you know, go the length. I know, Matt, you don't want to hear that, but Stats will tell you that that's probably a long shot.

I don't know Where? Right.

Why not use a condom to try finishing at the same time? Unless you can don't have as much control perhaps.

No, but he doesn't need to use the condom.

Why? You know, maybe she's to going got diarrhea. You don't know?

No, no, I'm saying she's on the pill.

Yeah, but maybe it's not less effective because maybe she forgot just to be safe. Right?

No, right now I'm going to assume, I'm going to give her the benefit of doubt and say that she's been using it for six months and she's fine.

You can take her to a pool. If she gets in the pool, you'll know that she doesn't have diarrhea because you can't go there for two weeks.

I'm just saying if she got sick last week and had a stomach ache. But you're fine, Matt. You're totally fine. And you guys, I'm sure you've been tested. You're each other's first couple partners. Like there's nothing to worry about here. You're 21. So enjoy this and know that I don't know why you're rushing into marriage at 21.

Right? Don't do that. That's. That's a bad move.

I just think you should wait on that.

If you have. If she, if she does get pregnant with the 99.9% effect, that kid's badass.

Call Anderson.

Right? What that's gonna be if a kid can bust through like the 99.9%, you're gonna have a sweet ass kid. Right? Like that kid needs to be here.

That is true.

So just embrace it.

But then she probably had some sneaky diarrhea she didn't tell him about. I just don't believe that could happen whenever, like, oh, she's weird. She got pregnant.

You know the signs they have by the pools, Em, where it's like, you can't go in this pool if you've had diarrhea in the last 14 hours. Is so a public pool so you.

Can take her to the public had diarrhea.

And if she gets in the pool, you'll know for sure that she doesn't. Or she hasn't. It's a way to figure it out without asking.

But it's not summer everywhere. But I get what you're saying. It's so confusing. But you guys are good. I love to see. These are the kind of questions that like he's been like, oh my God. And now he's. He's already there.

Right.

So go have some great sex. Happy dad.

That is accomplishment to be able to finish at the same time. A lot of never, ever master that.

They never ever do. Especially with condoms on. Andy pulls out. Like, they come together and he pulls out. It's a beautiful thing.

How does that work, though, for the girl? Wouldn't that be kind of tough for her to continue to finish?

Well, maybe she comes and then he.

So it's like right after.

He waits. He's got it. He's got a jacket.

Right. At the exact time then. Right? You know? See what I'm saying? Like, he's gonna pull out. It's gonna.

Yeah, it's a little confusing.

Replace the penis immediately with a vibrator.

Right. I don't know. I mean, maybe she's coming and then. I hope she's really coming.

I hope so too. Yeah.

Every time.

I mean, fake, fake, fake, fake.

I don't know if she's faking it. I don't think she is faking it. Let's just give her the benefit of doubt. But that's pretty tricky. But hey, they got chemistry.

Maybe she's. Yeah, maybe she's still kind of finishing up because you guys go a little bit longer.

Yeah, they do. We do. We do. We can keep going. Sometimes when they pull out, like, it can still keep happening.

Yeah. Okay.

Not always.

Good for you, Matt. Just be careful because last week we took a call where a guy was wallowing because the relationship ended. Right. And he was about 26 after a four year relationship. I can see this guy maybe being in a similar situation in three years. Just know that, you know, life's long. This might not be the girl forever. And it's okay if it's not. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Be prepared.

Exactly. Be prepared.

When I was that age, I was on my third time that I thought, this is the girl I'm gonna be with forever. I was only like 21, 22. And I thought that for the third time.

I know. And that's why I feel. I do. I feel like, is that responsible to tell them that? But the stats show it. You're 21. You don't know yourself at 21. You know, like, you don't.

I remember hearing that from my. My first girlfriend. Her parents were telling us that. And I remember, like, saying, well, we'll show you. Right? And then, I mean, she's such a distant memory now. It was ridiculous. It was puppy love.

I just feel like in your 20s, you don't have as much experience, you just can't because of the age you're at. And you assume it hurts. It's like harder you fall every time, but. And you think, it's not gonna happen again. I'll never find anyone like this. And this is amazing because you've never felt it. So you think, this must be the one that I need to stay with now. Some relationships do. People do get together in their twenties and last for a very long time.

They're from small towns. Many don't in the 50s.

Don't say that necessarily.

50S small town life.

Okay, another email. Dear Emily, I'm pregnant with my second child. And as my tummy grows, missionary becomes harder. My husband and I enjoy many positions, but my only successful mode at achieving orgasm comes from a specific rhythm. And grind and grind with him on top. This is now impossible with my belly. Any suggestions on keeping pregnant sex fun for me? I'm considering toys. Suggestions. Thank you. Jules, age 30. You had a pregnant wife once.

I did.

You don't talk about your sex life. So here's the thing. Feel free to jump in. Jules, I love that you are focusing on keeping the sex hot during pregnancy because it's. It's not always easy. It's definitely different. But it's important for couples to stay connected. And plus, sex can actually feel better for a lot of women during pregnancy. Not all, but some. And also during pregnancy, your body's level of estrogen, progesterone, all those hormones, they increase your blood flow to your pelvic region.

Ah, makes sense.

Not only that, your breasts. So your breasts can be more sensitive. In fact, I was talking to a pregnant friend, she's like, oh, my God, my nipples. Every time I'm pregnant, I have, like, nipple orgasms. Amazing bonus, right? Other things go wrong, maybe, but. So I get that you love the top, him being on top, because you've got your grind down with him on top of you, and that means that you require clitoral stimulation like most women. So when he's on top, he's rocking back and forth, the base of his penis is rubbing against you. And I understand why right now that is not gonna work. So you gotta look for positions that take all the pressure off of your belly and put it on your clitoris.

Wait, is she. He's on top of her.

Yeah. So she likes missionary, like a lot of women. Yeah, for them. A lot of people.

Especially that cowgirl you give where, like, the guy goes up a little bit, like, further on her, and then rubs back and forth the coital.

Alignment technique.

Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

The cat. The cat. But here's the other thing. I wonder if you've tried cowgirl, Woman on top, or even reverse cowgirl. Because when you're on top, you're actually in control of the motion and the depth and the speed. And so while you're on top, you can kind of grind in that same position that you were. That you might do when he's on top of you and he has access to your breasts, which might be very sensitive right now. And that could be really fun. So if you want to still grind, it might take a little bit more practice. But I think this is a good time to experiment with new positions, if you know. Because here's the thing, we get set in our ways. We're like, I can only come in this position. But I think you're going to be surprised to learn through pregnancy or whatever it is that pushed you to this, that you can come in other ways. So if you can get out of your head that it's not gonna happen. Cause a lot of us think, well, this just won't happen. This won't work. But you're asking me the question. So I think cowgirl is great because you are putting that pressure on your clitoris. And instead of doing the bouncing up and down thing as we see a lot in porn and stuff like that, rock back and forth and pay special attention to your clitoris as you're, like, moving against his pubic bone. And also, you asked about toys. I'd say with any of these positions, I'm going to tell you a few, but definitely use a toy. Like, for sure, for sure, for sure. It's a great time to use them and you'll definitely have an orgasm. Clitoral stimulation. I like the FT London. This is one of our new sponsors. And it's only because I literally have known the guy who made these toys. It was called Fun Toys. They just changed their name. I'm obsessed with all of his toys, and I've been friends with them. Met him five years ago at a show, a toy show. And his toys are killer. So it's a C ring, goes around your finger, Right. It's like, it looks like it's shaped like a C. It's not a cock ring, but you wear it like a finger vibe. And it's powerful and it's waterproof. And he can wear it on his hand and it becomes a vibrator. Or you wear on your hand like.

A little mini Robocop.

Yes. And it Kind of can fit anywhere your finger goes. You can just, like, rub it on your. It's amazing.

I like it. They should call it RoboCock. RoboCock. RoboCock, yeah.

The movie. They should call that.

Well, no, because your fingers, like, half bionic and half, like, actual organic. Like, RoboCop was, so.

RoboCop.

Yeah.

Okay, I'll email him.

Yeah, give him a shot.

Also, the Mystic Wand vibe is amazing because it's got. It's, like, curved and so it's ergonomic. And it's easy to get around your belly.

Right.

I'm not saying you're fat. Get on your belly when you're pregnant.

She's got a big belly.

I know. I'm just kidding. Because you get sensitive when you think I say you're fat. The Mystic Wand is cool. It's by Vibratex, and I love it. It's actually one of the best toys, I think, that came out last year. I think I've talked about it on the show. It's rechargeable, waterproof, freaking strong. It's awesome.

What about the suction cup one that you've talked about that sounds like it might work for her.

Cause she's. Oh, the clitoris. Oh, the womanizer. The womanizer actually is a great one, but I kind of think of it as, like, a solo thing, because you really have to, like, cup it around your clitoris. It's not so great for the grinding and the moving around. Cause it, like, gives your clitoris little butterfly kisses. It's heaven. Pleasure, air technology. It's brilliant. But I would say that that's what I would try. And then for other positions for pregnant sex, also, you could do reverse cowgirl. Same kind of thing. Edge of couch missionary. So here's the other way you can kind of cheat. Missionary is if you lay back on the couch with your. Or your bed, and your legs are coming off the bed and your partner stands in between your legs. So in this position, you can use your hands or a toy to stimulate the clitoris while he does most of the work. So if you see what I'm saying, you can even just Google, like, edge of couch missionary. But, like, you're still laying flat, you're still getting the missionary thing. You might need a little extra stim, but that could work, too. Until week 20. And then doctors recommend avoiding this. Position scissors.

Position scissors.

Scissors. You know, picture it like you're both.

Lying on the bed, just picturing where his leg goes with that belly.

Yeah. Well, it works.

Careful of knee in the belly there.

Spooning, lying on your side. Amazing. Takes the pressure off when, you know, you wake up in the morning, whatever. It's easy. It's an intimate position. A lot of couples very, very connected in spooning position.

And did she say how far down the pregnancy road she is?

She didn't.

No, she did not.

Well, tell me about.

They encourage it. I didn't know this until, you know, I had a pregnant wife, but they actually, when I say they, I mean like medical staff and your handlers encourage you to have more sex. Like, especially in the triumph.

Yes.

Part of the trimester. Third trimester, because it. A lot of time induces labor. So there's that.

Do you.

And plunge the kid out of there.

Did you feel. And that's weird because that's typically when maybe you think for the guy it could be stranger to have sex a little.

It's a little. It's a little more different. I wouldn't say it's. It's awful by any strength.

No, no, no. You wouldn't say that.

No. Well, it really isn't. It's not. It's. It's very, very different because you've never. Especially if it's the first go round. It's weird seeing your wife so different. But I've heard over the years, too, going back to Loveline and Drew used to call one of God's little jokes. And that's towards the end of the third trimester, women get a little more frisky.

Right. They want sex more.

And that could be because it doesn't do labor sometimes. And that's the way we actually. We went to a place that has this salad dressing that's supposed to make everyone give birth.

What real thing if you're not pregnant?

No, for pregnant ladies. Yes. And we went birthday.

What is some roadside.

And she went into labor the next morning. But, you know, I think that a lot of that has to do with women who are really tired of being pregnant because they're like three or four days past their due date, and then they go there and then magically they give birth. You know what I mean? But we went there, we got the balsamic dressing. It's like over marketing gimmick over in Coldwater.

Or seriously, like, do people, like, go and they can drive?

I'll show you the reviews after the show. But yeah, they made that up. Maybe it's genius.

What would be in it that would be healthy at all to induce it? Why wouldn't they sell it at, like, Safeway?

Maybe they will. One Day.

That's true.

Safeway. What kind of. We don't even have Safeways out here in Southern California.

We don't?

No.

I don't know.

It's a San Francisco, like, the parent company of, like, the smaller ones.

I don't know. What do we have here, Vons?

We have Vaughn's and Ralph's.

I don't go. Ever.

Sprouts Whole food. You probably got a Whole Foods.

No.

Really?

Whole Foods is just such a disappointment.

Is it?

Yes. It's just. It's. It's. It's expensive. And you leave there and you've just spent, like, a hundred dollars and you've got nothing to eat. And I just think it's. It's overrated and overpriced and I don't love it.

Yeah.

And I truly am just gonna do Blue Apron from now on for the rest of my goddamn life.

You could.

Because I always have food.

You could survive on Blue Apron.

Here's the other thing. And something I don't eat. I do eat. Like, I. People think, oh, you're small. You don't eat. The meals last. You, like, two, three days. Like, it's enough for what they say is for one. One serving can last for two.

I usually portion them out. So it's three servings per meal for or per recipe.

So they're like. They're generous as well.

Was that just a little bonus, or are we actually doing a read here?

No.

Okay.

Oh, no. Yeah. Go to sex with. What is it? Blueapron.com? sex with Emily.

Yeah.

Yeah. Get one of those free meals. You get like, three females. No, I'm just talking about it because it's like, my new thing.

It's great, too. Like, if you're in a new relationship and you're not really sure what to do and, you know, Netflixing and chilling isn't going away. It's a good thing to do with somebody else, whether it's your mom or, like, a new girlfriend or boyfriend cooking. Yeah.

That's amazing.

Especially Blue Apron because you can just.

Follow it and you can get three free meals if you check it. Okay. But here's the deal. What are you Netflixing on? Netflixing on right now. Anything new? Like, I have. I got my TV set up and speakers. I'd like to watch something today on Netflix.

Have you seen Stranger Things yet? It's a little old, but I bet you would enjoy that.

No, but that's on my list.

All right, Watch that. Boom. Done.

Thank you. I mean, ask you and movies. We'll get to that after. Or we can listen to your podcast.

Yes. Film Vault Cinematics. Yes.

Okay, how about an anal sex question?

Right on the dovetailing out of Cinematics and Film Vault. Sure. Let's go to anal.

Okay, good. Hey, that means people were paying attention too, because when you say anal, everyone's ears perk up. Hi, Emily. I'm a big fan of the show.

We should just name all shows.

I know Anal sex with Emily.

Well, that works too well. So that doesn't. Anal sex.

Anal Sex with Emily.

But I like anal the film vault. Anal Cinematics.

How awkward it is though, saying to people like, what do you do? I don't have like the one word answer what I do. But like, I host a show.

Do a relationship show.

My mom tells everybody. Yeah, because she doesn't want to say sex. Whatever, mom. They'll google me. Okay. Anal Emily, big fan of the show. Thanks for doing what you do. It's awesome to listen to a show so free and open about all things sexual and relationships. My question is about anal sex. My partner has hinted a few times that she may be interested in tri anal. I'm really unsure how to bring it up with her in a way that won't make her feel uncomfortable. I'm also unsure how the hygiene side goes with anal. Like, how do you prepare for it? Also, if my partner is interested, is there anything she can do to help her not have a bad experience? I've heard it can be quite painful. I want it to be comfortable and enjoy our time together. Thanks again, all the way from Australia. So, Sam, age 19. He's getting on the anal train.

Hoping to.

Hoping to get on the. God, this is such a long. We've also check out our website. We've got a lot of great tips and articles and blog posts, stuff about anal sex. We've done full shows on anal, but let me give you some pointers here when you're done.

Cloris Leachman, famous old, older actress.

Right. I know she is.

Had some great advice, which I will. I heard once and I will give that.

About anal.

Yes.

Okay, please. That would be the nice icing on.

Cloris Leachman will weigh in at the end.

Okay, perfect. I love that you know that she's on board. And venturing into anal can be super overwhelming. So here's the hygiene thing. Yeah. Take a shower. Make sure you, like, clean the whole area and make sure that it's stuff's clean out of there. I mean, you could do some kind of like, enema if you'd like. To I don't recommend like using the vinegar. Like, if you buy a store bought enema, take it out and put water in it. Like squeeze out all the vinegar, stuff in it and fill it with water. But you really probably don't have to. Make sure you've passed your bowels recently. But you're not even there yet. Here's the thing, Sam, you're not there yet. She says she might be down with anal, but you've never done it. Gotta take this slow, okay? Because you're right, Sam, you're right. It is painful for. So a lot of women have a lot of pain the first time because it's done incorrectly. Meaning perhaps drunk. They have it really quickly. They don't use lube. The partner doesn't lose lube. Lube is so important. They just shove it in. It's. They're screaming bloody Murdy. Murder Murdy.

Murdy works from this.

They tense up.

Sounds like Murdy.

And it hurts and it's painful. So let's just do this right the first time. Start to, like, explore. Like when you're fooling around with her and you're going down on her, like, you could start to take your finger and like rub it over her anus, over the opening with your finger. Like there's a lot of sensitive nerve endings there. And just see how that feels to her. Like, you don't want to just like stick your finger in. And you definitely just want to stick your penis in. So you always want to like start off small and just see how that goes. Like, try that for a few weeks and then like, you could stick your pinky in. But again, you always want to use lube. It's very important.

Your nails are cut.

Breathe. Your nails are cut. She has to breathe. Foreplay is important. You want her to be turned on. You want to be turned on. I'm sure you already are turned on. But like, even if you want to start with anal, it really helps if she already has an orgasm, if she's relaxed. Because the thing is, the reason, another reason why it's painful for women is because we tense up and we hold our breath.

Everyone does. When you get scared, you do that. Like people talk about it.

Yeah, I just got scared. I'm tensing here. Right? Not a good time. No, I didn't really. But we do that. And you don't realize that actually breathing relaxes your sphincter muscles and truly allows you to have a more pleasant experience. Lube is your best friend. If you don't have lube by your bed. Just buy some now, Jo, Premium silicone lube is great with condom. Use that during anal. And just like, she's got to relax and breathe. You got to use lube and you got to go slow. So I would say you can get some butt plugs and experiment with your fingers, your pinkies, and then pinkies, pinky. And build up to it over time and slow it down because you're 19. She's just interested. It doesn't matter that you're 19. Just anyone should slow it down when they're trying to build.

Came up. I wonder how that came out.

He was like, hey, I want anal to you. And she said, maybe.

Were you guys hammered? Were you out looking at the dead barrier reef, having a moment? And I wonder how that came up. I wish we had.

It comes up all the time. I know. That's why it's good to have callers. Sam.

Casual, like anal. You down?

Yeah. Anal.

Butt play into that.

Yeah. She's like, yeah, I don't really know what it means.

They listen to the butthole surfers and.

Yes, dude, I don't know. But it came up, and he's psyched. So I'm glad you asked the questions because you don't want to be the one who, you know, ruins her anal for life.

Cloris Leachman, you would never guess it would come from her, but she was a very old actress and older actress, one of the older actresses as we ever had actors of any male or female. On Loveline. She said out of the blue, she was talking about anal, and she was saying that the woman should push out. It seems very, once again, counterintuitive, but she should push out during push out a little bit.

That makes sense. Kind of bear down.

Yeah, bear down a little bit. Almost like you're giving birth.

Really? Just like, kind of speaking up. But were you, like, what? Like Cloris Leachman?

I was shocked that, you know, Cloris Leishman. She's a.

She's like, I'll answer the sale question, Dr. Drew.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

I'd expect it from the half of the porn stars that we had on. We like the anal queen of the year on. And I would expect it from her. She was like, chloris, though.

I love. That's good, too. You should bear down and take it easy. I just. Yeah. So I think those are all really good things. Foreplay, warmer up, lube. Use lube with whatever you do, guys. Use lube on your nipples, lube on your clitoris. Use lube when you Cook, use lube with your blow jobs. Happy steak and blowjob day. Give a blow job, save a blowjob.

Give a blow job, save a blowjob. Is he trying to equate it with the whales?

Kind of, yeah.

The horror that's happening with the poor whales. I don't know. The blowjobs. I appreciate that.

Yeah. Save a blowjob for someone you love.

Yes.

And make a steak and. Yeah, I hope you have many a blowjobs or at least a steak today, Anderson.

Oh, that's nice. Not at the same time.

Once again, I think you should brush your teeth and separate them out. This was fun.

Does she get steak at all?

If she want. Let her eat steak.

If she wants, she can have some.

She can have steak and. I don't know. Here's the thing. I'm not saying you got to force any, but any holiday that's about second sex, I'm down.

You're into it. Yeah. What other sexual holidays are there? I guess Valentine's Day, kind of.

Well, this is like the reaction. Like, hey, we get you flowers and candy.

National Porn Day. Is there a day yet?

I'm sure there will be. Oh, there is a National Porn Day. I wonder who made that one up.

I wonder what day porn companies.

I think every day is porn day for many a people.

For a lot of people it is. Yeah.

Yeah. So has your porn interest changed since you've had a baby?

Yeah, I mean, I don't really think about it nearly as well. I don't have time.

No time for masturbation?

Yeah, I mean, I. I have no time for. For very much at all.

Do you wake up then. Then you do probably wake up and you.

Like you said earlier, I think on this show, or last, like you, like it occurred to you, like, oh, it's been a while, like that's kind of what. Yeah, dude.

And when you do those. Right.

Yeah. Well, I haven't had time to do anything, so. Yeah.

Doing the car on the way to.

The whole asexual thing. I might try and knock one out over on my way to the film vault right now.

Yeah.

Dealing with my co host.

It releases a lot. Yeah, it really does. I feel like my whole world changed. My eyes cleared up. I was like. My cold went away.

Really?

Yeah, really.

You're so holistic. Look at you.

No, I'm not. But it does help. Masturbation helps everything. Masturbation makes the world around. Okay, well, it's really great to see you.

It's good to see you.

We can find you at Anderson Cowan.

Anderson cowan.com c o w A and all your podcasts and your movies after disaster Cinematics. Yes, True.

Thank you for being here. And thank you everybody for shopping at my store too on my website. Check that out. Everything out on Sex with Emily. And thank you for listening. And thank you to my whole team. I love you and thanks again. Yeah, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackextwithemily.com.

Foreign.

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