SWE: A Sticky Situation

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedrooms, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcast. Sign up for our mailing list and our RSS feed so you'll never miss another Sex with Emily show again. You can also donate to the show. We love that.

We like money.

We love your money. We love your support. You can advertise. If you're looking to to advertise, you can email me feedbackexwithamily.com Today's show, we will be reading the emails that you sent to feedbackexwithemily.com or some of you sent to my Facebook page, which is my Sex with Emily page, my fan page, or you can find me on Twitter. Emily Morse. M O, R, S, E. The letters. The emails. It's so funny. I always say letters, like, I'm, like, from the seventies, but I like. They think of them as letters, though. But you know what I mean. I think of them as, like, love letters. So the letters that include topics, swingers and safe sex, where to ejaculate and body image. Those are a few of the topics. Plus, we'll have sex in the news. And then finally, five secrets about women's breasts.

All right.

All right. How's that? Men. It's good to see you.

Good to see you, too. What's been going on?

Oh, my God. I've just been working a lot, and I've been. I'm going to Florida in the morning for Thanksgiving with my family. My mom has a place there, so we're gonna go to Florida. And it's gonna be warm and sunny, and I'm gonna be in this beach, and I hope maybe there'll be some cute guys there because I'll be in a bikini and it's gonna be 85 degrees. I'm very excited.

You gotta spray tan first.

I didn't spray tan. Maybe tonight I'll spray tan. That's a great idea. I should spray tan after this so.

You can stick out.

But, you know, I went on a few dates. I'm really. I'm just not that into anyone. I've tried, really. I've gone on two dates. I've been dating these guys, and you know what? I'm just not feeling it. And I just not into it. And I'm wondering. It's like, I have these nights where, for example, this one guy I've been dating, I actually like him. I do. But my best friend's in town. She's leaving Town tomorrow for months. I'm not gonna see her. And I told him that he's in town, but I can't see him. Cause I'm seeing my friend. I'm choosing my friends. What does that say? I think it's just that that's my priorities right now. I wanna see my friends. And if I was madly in love.

Hoes before bros. Hoes.

This is the thing. We've talked about this, but that's where I. And I just think that sex is gonna happen. It's gonna be good eventually. And eventually.

Gotta keep on practicing.

Gotta keep on practicing. Keep on practicing. But here's something funny that happened today. So there's a family friend that I have. She's 50 and her husband's probably 52. And they are going away on a romantic vacation. They're going to Hawaii. And she was like, you know, Emily, I. And she's. They're very. A little bit, like, uptight, A little conservative. Let's just say they're a conservative couple, not uptight. But she was like, I really want to do something romantic. And like, do you have any ideas? And she and I have never talked about sex. We've never talked about anything. I'm like, well, she's like, cause it's his birthday. And I said, well, you could get a bunch of like sex toys and stuff. So she's like, I don't know. I don't know. So I took her shopping and we. So here's in their 50s, they've been married five years. They've never had sex. I mean, they've never had sex. They've never used sex toys. They've never watched porn together. So I was like, okay, we're gonna get you a starter kit. Wow. So I took her to a store. Cause I would have ordered from Adam and Eve, but I didn't have time. Cause it just came up today and she's leaving in a few days. This is what I got. I got female friendly porn, which is porn with plots, basically, and not a lot of like, humping. And more men going down on women than women giving oral sex to men. I got her that. I got her, of course, a vibrating ring, which I love. And I'm like, he'll like it and you'll like it. But it was so funny talking to you, you know, people that you don't talk to sex about. And then you do like people that you like. I didn't even think of her having sex anyway. So I was like, you'll get a vibrating ring. We got that we got a beginner's bondage kit. And it's, like, in this little thing, and it gives you little cards and tells you what to do. And it has, like, an eye, something for your eye, and little, like, Velcro cufflinks. Cuffs. Velcro cuffs. And then this really cool game, which I think is great for couples. So I'm telling you all this because these are, like, little tiny things you can do if you don't want to jump in, that you can spice up your relationships. There's this game. I think it's made by Cosmo magazine, but it sounds. Which might be whatever. But the game was really cool because we had all these little deck of cards, and they all had different topics, like fantasy, sex, truth or dare, whatever. And it says, like, okay, start. Read this fantasy to your partner and have them finish it, or tell your partner two things that you want touched on your body or just. It's a way to kind of open up if you haven't been exploring as a couple. And here they're in their 50s, and she. And I got her first vibrator, and I got one. It was just very. I didn't get going to the rabbit or anything. I was gonna get the rabbit. And the woman who worked at the store was like, no rabbits for the first time. Vibrator, which I don't think that's true, but I got a little knife vibrator. It was good. It was a good little package. It was really fun.

Nice. Right before they beef up all the security at the airport.

I could be. I know she was freaking out, and I'm like, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. But I feel like I could be a sex. Personal sex shopper.

Really.

I could. I could over. I could redo people's sex. I could do an overhaul of people's sex lives. Like, just call me, like, what do you need? I'll figure it out. What are your. What are your likes? What are you not like. Like, I was like. Because I asked him, like, does he like porn? How do you. How do you orgasm? Clitorally? I was like. So I had to ask all these questions to figure out what would be the right range of toys. So I think that's gonna be my next job.

I think you would do very well at it.

If anyone wants to hire me, you can just email me.

One thing that you were missing was you didn't suggest to bring another woman into the situation.

Well, no, they're in Hawaii. I don't know, but maybe they Will, I didn't want to go that far. You're right. Would that be your fantasy?

What?

You don't like threesomes, do you?

What are you talking about?

I feel like you said you didn't like them before.

Yeah, well, not with another guy, but two girls would be totally.

Two girls. You totally would.

Ok. Yeah, but have you ever. No.

Never had a threesome? I've had two. Two or three.

Two or three.

And they were good.

Is it two or three?

I think it's two or three. I can't remember. Maybe like a half. Can you give a half a threesome? Oh, I had an aborted threesome.

It was.

Almost happened. It was like my friend and I. This was years ago. My friend and I were in Mexico and there was this guy in the hotel that we were staying at and we all became buddies and we were hanging all day and then we're drinking tequila and the next thing you know, we're like in bed. And we just looked up at each other and it was like, that was a total threesome. But then we totally aborted it. We're like, ew. Like, neither one of us were attracted to him and we realized we, like, come to and we're like, oh, God, no. This is aborted threesome. So that doesn't count. And then there was another crazy threesome I had, and that was really fun. And then I haven't had one in years, though. I think it's. I would do it. I think it'd be interesting to have a threesome with all different kinds. Two men, two women.

I think I've gotten close a couple times.

Right.

But it's just.

But what happened?

It's harder for the guy. It's harder for a guy to make it happen.

The guy has to make it happen.

Yeah. I'm just saying.

Or the girls do sometimes. Sometimes the women do.

You have to find a girl that's down. Then you have to find a girl that's. Well, you have to find two girls that are down and then two girls that like each other.

Yeah, that's true.

Those girls have to like each other.

Or just have enough tequila around. Which is the female Viagra that my friend Megan always says. Female Viagra. Yeah, you're right. And you have to. And before if you're in a couple, there's like certain. We've done shows on this before. Maybe it's time to do a show on it again. The threesome show. Let's do that. Let's do a threesome quickie show. Because as you know, we're doing longer, shorter shows. This is actually our 45 minute show. But anyway, the threesome rule. If you're in a relationship, it's because usually you are. It's. There's a couple and they bring someone else in, but then there is no. Usually you could be hanging out with two of your best girlfriends and then one night y' all get messed up and have sex. But you should always talk to your partner about the rules. Like maybe you're having a threesome, but you don't want your partner to. Let's say a woman. You know, let's say your girlfriend. Menace. Well, Menace. Well, I'll have a threesome with you, but I don't want you to have penetration with the other woman. Set down rule. Exactly.

Maybe she'll perform oral sex on you or something. Or play with your balls. Oh, no. That's right. You don't like that.

Yeah, something like that even. I don't know. Or else I don't think if they're not down with penetration that they would even be down with oral sex.

Yeah, but there's some. But there's some women that are just like. Or no kissing or. They're just. Every couple has to have the rules because threesomes can blow up a relationship, too. You never get the images out of your head. You think that your husband or boyfriend was more into the other woman. I mean, it's tricky, threesomes. I'm gonna do another show. Will you remind me? Write that down.

I don't got it.

We'll do a threesomes cooking. You got in your head. You got in your head. Thank God. Thank God. Okay. So how are you? What's new? Anything?

Nothing. I've been just planning a lot of trips today. They just broke some news that they're gonna have a lollapalooza in Chile.

Really? April, are you gonna go?

I don't know yet. They haven't announced the lineup.

Is it like a. For your company?

Well, yeah, I'd go down there and.

Cover for my work, but that would be amazing. Have you ever been.

I've never been out of the country, so I had to get a passport.

Never in your life you've been out of the country? Never.

No, I took a. I took a cruise.

Don't say Canada. It doesn't count.

I took a cruise to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

Okay.

I didn't get off the boat. I stayed on the boat.

You didn't get off the boat. Yeah, that doesn't count. Madness. We got to get you out of the country. We got to get you out of the Bay Area.

Well, I've gone to Hawai. I've gone to New York. I've gone all over America.

We need you to have a little world.

I love America. I would love. My dream place to go is Tokyo.

Yep, you'd love Tokyo. Tokyo would be amazing.

Because I love sushi.

Sushi?

Sushi.

Do you love sushi? Let's do that on our date.

Okay.

Menace and I are gonna make a plan.

Sushi. I can't even talk right now. I've been up so long.

Menace has been at work since 7:00am yes.

And it's. What?

And he has 7:00 clock at night. He has not left the building all day.

Yes. I don't even know what it looks like outside, but it's rainy and cold. I love.

And I'm going to Florida. It's 85 degrees. Go ahead.

And I love electronics and I love. I'm a big fan of Asian women. Who's not? And I think it'll be a perfect place to go to. I don't know too much about Chile, though. I just know that some minors got trapped down there. That's about.

Exactly. And they all. They're all. They all flew here to America.

Yeah.

Welcome for CNN thing.

So I don't know, but I might be there.

I want to go back to something you just said.

Yes.

That all men love Asian women. Do you think that's true?

No, I'm saying I said, who doesn't?

Oh, who doesn't love Asian women? Yeah. Okay. I thought you were. I just put words in your mouth. Fun.

I love doing that.

I love.

Pretty much I'm not that guy where I only date Asian women. But I'm saying.

Right. Yeah, whatever. We all are. We all. All women have their own things, right?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, so.

So that's pretty much.

Kinda.

What do you mean?

Well, I know I just. I have sex. Nothing crazy.

Who'd you have sex with?

This girl. I know.

Did you do anything different that you hadn't done before this time? Even if you like. I don't mean like you, you know, brought in the dog or anything, but you.

No, Nothing that I've done different. No.

Do you feel like this show has changed your sex life at all?

Has it changed my sex life?

Have you learned things actually? Have you been paying attention for five years?

I've been paying attention.

Good. Yeah.

But I think I'm set in my ways and you're set in yours.

No, I'm not Set in my ways. How are you not least set in my ways? I'm so open to everything now, like learning more and doing more. I'm always open. I'm not set in my ways. I'm the least set in your ways. Person that you know.

Really?

Yeah.

Why will you never agree with me that women can't give hand jobs?

Oh, you want to bring up the hand job debate again?

I'm just saying.

I just happen to know that I'm really good at. And when I've done it with men, when I've given men hand jobs, they're like, oh, my God, I never have orgasms that way. Except for that's how I know I'm good. And I just. There's.

You think a guy's gonna lie to you?

It's not like the first thing I do. I probably don't even do it in.

The first Guy's gonna tell you you.

Sucked, he had an orgasm, and he looked like he was an ecstasy.

That doesn't matter. I'm just saying a guy is not gonna tell you not to do it.

Yeah. Yeah.

He's not gonna tell you you're terrible because he's. You're just giving him a hand job right now. He wants to sleep with you.

You know how in part of the battle, he wants.

Hold on. He wants to sleep with you? Is he gonna tell you that you.

He slept with me, but I added a hand job.

Was this before or after you had sex?

I don't remember. It was part of the whole sex experience.

Because if it was before, he is not.

Maybe it was a night when I.

Didn'T want to have.

Maybe I didn't want to have sex. You know, sometimes women don't want to have sex. There's like, those nights or times a month. Not. Not that I don't.

He's not just say anything to offend you to not have sex with him anymore.

Okay. But I think I know that they appreciate it. I wish you could just, like, come over when I'm doing that sometime and just be like, can we get medicine? Can we Skype medicine or something for this hand job?

Yes. I would love to see Olymp performance another guy, a hand job.

Yeah, you'd be probably amazing, but. Yeah, well, we could probably recruit some people that you would. That would do it, that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable watching. Or maybe you just seeing me in a sexual act would make you uncomfortable.

No, I don't care.

Maybe with another woman you'd watch another woman.

Yeah, fine.

I'm Just saying. You don't watch sex. Okay, let's get into some sex in the news. We had some good sex in the news today. What do you.

Oh, sex news. Do you have sex.the sex.com thing?

No.

Okay. Sex.com just sold yesterday.

Okay.

For $13 million.

Wow.

Just a domain. Yeah, there was no I heard website attached to it.

Guys, I heard a story someone recently that was. That's been the paper for a while. They've been negotiating it, but I didn't know it went down to that. It got sold. But I knew someone who knew someone who knew someone who was, like, started sex.com or was gonna buy it or bought it. And it turns out those guys, like, the people who bought it last time paid an exorbitant amount, and then they just, like, let it go down the toilet. Like, apparently, like, they did not do it. They didn't do anything at all.

Yeah.

If I had sex dot com, dude, dude, I would take over the world. Yes, seriously, sex.com. hello. Most searched term on the web is sex. They never tell you that. Whenever they do those official, like, Google studies, they're never, like, sex. And, you know, anal sex was the top search term.

No, my friends that run websites, they always say that a big search term is fisting.

Really?

Yeah, they said, like, that's like, one of the top things they go, if you want to get your, like, your.

Page, I'm not that desperate.

If you want to get your page, like, some page views, it's like putting the tags. Fisting.

Fisting.

Yeah.

Is that what you want me to do for my tag?

I want every. Every single podcast.

Can I hire someone's tag for me or someone want to tag my repair website?

I think we go over this every week where I open up the website so I can number the podcast and then I turn my head and I yell at you.

I know I don't tag, but I did go through and tag the last 10 shows. But I used to have an intern. Now we have a new intern. She's been a tag. I'll be fine. Okay, okay. But here's. We've got some good sex in the news stories today.

Okay. What do you mean?

This is very interesting. There's an app being developed for cell phones to diagnose STDs.

Oh, yeah, I heard about this.

Mobile phones and computers will soon be able to diagnose sexually transmitted diseases under innovative plans to cut the UK's rising rate of herpes, chlamyd, and gonorrhea among young people. So this is in the UK now. But doctors and tech experts are developing small devices similar to pregnancy testing kits that will tell someone quickly and privately if they've caught an infection through sexual contact. People who suspect they've been infected will be able to put urine or saliva onto a computer chip about the size of a USB chip, plug it into their phone or computer, and receive a diagnosis within minutes. That's hot. You're hooking up with someone and you're like, do you have an std? Would you mind peeing on this stick for a minute? And then you. Kind of a buzz kill. But I think it's, can you imagine? Someone can just find out, right? So they think that this is gonna help reduce the number of STIs. And did you know that 2/3 of women reporting a new STI were under the age of 25 as more than half of men? So, yeah, man. And then I've got some STD facts. People always say, like, you don't talk about sts, so here's some new STD facts. I know this is really sexy, but this is important, too, because everyone should use protection. You know, a study came out, we talked about the months ago that young people are more likely, like, in their 20s or younger are more likely to use condoms than people, like, in their 30s and 40s.

Yeah.

Because I don't know why, but that everyone should use condoms. So, okay, two thirds of last year's STI diagnosis in women were among under 25s. For example, 80%, 88% of the 127,000 cases of chlamydia, 73% of the cases gonorrhea. Okay. And then among men, slightly more than half of them were under 25, including 69. Chlamydia. Anyway, those are some stats. There were some more, but I don't know where they're at. Oh, yeah, here it is. The most common age. Here's. Here's the one. The most common age at which women get an STI is 19 or 20 years old, while for men it's 20 to 23. So you people watch out.

I was gonna make a recommendation. If you want to stay away from STDs.

Yes.

Or if you want to protect your kids from it. What, don't go to Santa Barbara State?

Is that. Is that where you got your std?

No, that's where one out of every three people have a STD down there.

That's probably an urban legend.

It's not an urban legend. Come on, Google it, people. You're listening. Google it. You're on a computer.

University of Santa Barbara.

Yeah.

Okay. But I know that it's a big party school, but I can't imagine it's more there.

One out of every three. There's all kinds of stuff.

Where'd you get your information?

I've been knowing that forever. I get on the Internet every day.

You're on the interweb more than I am.

Yeah.

Okay. Sex in the news. More here. This is interesting. You better watch out, Menace, because you're such a.

Tech person. You're such a gadget guy.

Yes, I am a gadget guy.

Men. Your laptop is probably cooking your testicles.

It is.

Ever wonder just how hot your balls get under your laptop?

Very sweaty.

Within 10 or 15 minutes, their scrotal temperature is above what we consider safe, said one doctor. Turns out that cooking your testicles is also bad for reproducing. So researchers presented their findings of a study that hooked thermometers up to the balls of 29 men with a laptop on their knees. They led the study. They said even though a man's testicle started heating up just for 10 minutes, they don't feel it. So this is bad for many reasons. If you're trying to have kids, increases in testicle temperature have been showed to lower a man's sperm count. This is serious. So put a pillow underneath you or something.

I do.

Do you? Yeah, I have. I do. I'm on my desk usually, but. But that's really scary.

Your sperm is boiling.

People are boiling their sperm with their laptops. It's like everyone's worried about their cell phones. Like, you should worry about your laptop on your balls. Whoever worries about that?

I don't know.

If you boil, aren't you glad you know that now? If you. If your balls got boiled, I'd be so sad.

Yeah, it wouldn't be good.

I know you don't love your balls, but really, if they boil, that would be bummer. Okay, so strangers can rate your date on Can Do Better, it's a new website. Have you heard of this?

No.

Are you good at picking the right person to date? If you're not the best at figuring out who you should date, there's a dating website out there to help you. According to Lemon Drop, Can Do Better is supposedly a social networking site that fuses together traditional dating and a New Age experience. The motto is let the world decide. All a consumer would have to do is upload a photo of the person you're interested in to the website along with your photo and wait to see what other people think. People have three options to choose from. He can do better, she can do better, or perfect match.

Who would want to like.

People on first dates are not looking for meaningful conversations, but they're evaluating their date as a potential romantic partner. Although it's pretty standard for the man to pay for a first date, a single woman, some might be picky when deciding to go out on those first dates. Anyway. They go into this whole thing about dating. But who's he telling?

Wait, wait, wait. Who would want to do that?

Nobody.

Have you seen the Internet? People are brutal on there.

I don't know. I think that's brutal. It's like, hot or not.

That's like, oh, my God. People would rip each other.

I know. And that would be so hurtful.

Yeah.

I don't even know why I talked about that. I'm sorry, I'm gonna. Not that strikes that record. But I thought it was. I thought it was interesting because it's dating website.

I mean, the concept is very interesting, but having them.

But that's about it.

The public. Yeah, I mean, if you. If you want to see how brutal people are on the Internet, go on Craigslist and what it's like the public forum section. Go to YouTube and read all the comments. It is brutal.

It's brutal.

Like, you can make the most amazing short film perfectly shot, and you upload it to YouTube and people somehow find negative comments.

Yeah, exactly. Well, people love taking other people down. It's probably people who want to make videos of their own. Speaking of YouTube, I have a YouTube channel, Sex with Emily. And I don't get a ton of comments. So you guys can comment and tell.

Me how maybe they're too busy masturbating to you.

Do you think they are? Do you guys masturbate to me? People say they do. And I'm like, really? Just me talking. But maybe. I don't know. That's it. What are you wearing?

This cute girl said you had a nice voice.

What cute girl?

Some cute girl I know.

Who is she?

Some girl.

Does she want to have a threesome?

No, she doesn't want to have threesome.

But she likes my voice.

Yeah, she's.

Oh, that's nice. You know, when I was little, everyone called me munchkin. Cause I talk like this and I was really high. I have a munchkin. I have an audio cassette tape of my voice when I was seven and I was pretending to be on the radio and I said, hi, this is Emily on M O R S E Radio. I have to bring it in. We could play it. It's really funny. And I'm talking. I'm like, talking like, I have a radio show. And I was like, seven.

No way.

Yeah, it's funny. And I sound like a munchkin. Okay, so let's get into some mail.

All right.

Why are you laughing at me?

Nothing.

I need to know.

Huh?

Are you picturing me?

Because I just had a flashback.

To what?

In junior high? Because I actually. I had an assignment to pretend to be. I was on the radio too. So I had a cassette tape.

Oh, really? Let's bring in our cassette.

I don't even know where it's at anymore.

I have mine, and it's hilarious.

Yeah.

And I'm like, hi. And if there's any hot. This is what I said, because I just found it recently.

You're seven years old. Seven years old, and you're asking for hot guys.

I said, are there any hot swinging guys? If there's any hot single guys, I'm free. I said that. I'm like, eight.

You're such a hoochie mama.

I'm like, what am I talking about? I'm eight. That is crazy. I'm gonna bring it in. We're doing it. It'd be funny. It'd be a funny segment. You guys would like it. You'd laugh. You'd get Emily at 8. Okay. Dear Emily, per your request, I'll keep it short. I did say that a few weeks ago. That a lot of the letters are super long. Two, three pages. And it's just easier. We can just kind of like to make. Keep them a little shorter. Per request, I'll keep it short. Love your show. Love your show. Come to dinner. When in Oregon. Me, I'm a chick, happily married to wonderful man who happens to have a great ponytail.

Oh, no.

Ten years together. Jobs, kids, laundry, crazy busy and fabulous sex recommend Waiting for the right guy. Husband and I recently had first Swingers Club experience. Watch a lot of hot bodies having great sex.

See Swingers Club ponytail. I'm just saying I'm right every single time.

Oh, my God.

That one.

You're right on. But I don't. I don't know any swingers with ponytails. I know a lot of them. That's fire. I don't. But it's funny. That is. This is hilarious because that is what you say. Menace always says that all swingers have ponytails. Okay. We watched a lot of Hot Bodies. I didn't even catch that today. We had watched a lot of hot bodies having Great sex. We had monogamous sex with each other in an open playroom. I liked watching doing. But as a chick, not so interested in PV sex with another are too personal in penis vagina sex with someone else. Also condoms. Great in stranger sex, but what about STDs nonetheless, can't get around my concerns. Fluid is fluid and if you are doing it right, not all fluid is contained in a condom. Are swingers simply willing to accept the risk? Can you interview swingers and please address the elephant in the room? Only want to catch a fun time.

Chicken, Oregon I think they're just willing to take the risk.

We have, we have had swingers on the show. We've had charisma on the show a bunch. And she's a swinger. And I mean, I've been to sex parties. Like they have condoms everywhere. But she's right. I mean, if you are really getting into it, there's fluids that just come out of everywhere that you. You have to be careful. But it's just like having sex with a stranger. You just have to. I'm sure that is a big risk and that would make me nervous too. Just random sex. But I would for sure use a condom and just maybe you don't do those things that leave you open to risk. You just maybe just do oral. I don't even know. I mean, there's so many things that leave you at risk now, even having oral sex, you know, use a dental dam if you're performing oral sex on a woman. Do you know what a dental dam is? Right?

Yes.

Anyway, I would just be really careful, but I don't know, I could interview some more swingers. You're a swinger. You want to come on the show? We've had a few swingers on over the time.

Get more swingers.

Love the swingers. Feedbackexfamily.com I think. Yeah, I've met a ton of swingers. I've had swingers pick me up, pick up on me. But I didn't know they were swinging at the time. It was like when I had my 20s. This couple invited me over for dinner and made me dinner. And it was just three of us. And I remember thinking, God, they must really like me. But it wasn't until years later that I realized that they were trying to have sex with me.

Really?

I didn't get any curvy.

Did the guy have a beard?

No, he didn't have a beard.

Or did he have a tan? Was he really tan?

He was not tan.

I'm just doing all the stereotypes.

I know. We're gonna go to swinger party one time and you'll see.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Better relationships equal better sex. Sinclair Institute, the leader in sex education products for adults has been saying it for over 20 years. I've seen some of their DVDs and I highly recommend them. Find Sinclair's ad on my products page on my website, sexwithemily.com and save 50% off any one item when you put an Emily 50 at checkout. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve.

Okay. Hey, Emily Menace. What up? So here's my take on the ejaculation on the woman's face thing.

Okay.

Women like Emily, as she had said, like receiving oral sex for the most part. For those that do, remember that men bury their faces in them. Your. Your guests have mentioned the chin technique. And the last one from Emily self class mention the nose and just loving the guy using their whole face. I fully support this and like to do it as well. So if I do and the woman has an orgasm, see, she essentially has orgasm down my face. Even if she is not a female ejaculator, her juices are there. So if the guy wants to return the favor, what is the big deal? Tit for tat. It's not always about something degrading. It's not always about some degrading thing. It's about enjoying each other as much as you can. So if you want your man to throw his face at you and make you feel wonderful, you should do the same. And that's my two cents. Hope is hope. All is well. Jason from Baltimore.

Dude, Jason broke it down.

I know. He's. He writes us. He's written us before. So. Yeah, he's saying that a man. When man. Like women who are giving advice to men about oral sex are like, get in there with your face, your tongue, your mouth. Like, get in there, like bury your face. And I think that men. He's saying a lot of men do that. I don't find a lot of men do that, and I wish they did, but anyway. And then he's saying that that essentially is. Is. Is ejaculating on the face. If you're in a woman, she has an orgasm, so you should just be able to ejaculate onto her face.

Yeah, Perfectly reasonable.

I think that those. I think it's. Don't seem paranoid. What?

No. What are you talking about?

Because there's something much more aggressive about a man, about a man ejaculating on your face. I'M not saying I'm not judging it. I'm not saying I'm very loving for or against. It's very loving. It's just more abrupt.

What?

It's more. It's hostile.

How is it more abrupt?

Because a woman's like this beautiful, slow, oh, my God. She has this orgasm and it's like, stop. There's, like, birds chirping in the background and a man's, like, blowing up. I don't think that they're the same, but it's a very interesting analogy, and I appreciate it. Jason from.

It's a right analogy is what it is.

It sort of is. Accurately.

He would win into a debate with that one.

I don't know. I'm too tired to debate right now. But I love his. I love that he thought so much about it. And then. You know what else I love about Jason is that he brought up the two techniques. Charisma was on the show and she talked about her special chin technique when she goes down on women. And then Sarah was on the show and she was talking about the nose technique.

Really?

I love that people are getting the techniques. That makes me so happy. Okay.

Jason's awesome.

Jason, you rocked my world. Hey, Emily, I'm a new listener, but quickly getting through the past podcast, and your show is very interesting to me. I would like to weigh in on two topics. In a recent show, you had a listener asked how he might bring up hair removal to his wife. I don't know why this guy is so afraid to bring it up with his wife. Chances are she doesn't like the hair at all and would love it if he paid for the laser hair removal. Secondly, I would like to put an opinion on the use of vagina on your show. I just heard the show with your dom friend from sex class, Sarah, and the topic was briefly mentioned. Vulva is the word that should be used by you and menace to call the entire female genitalia area the vagina. Sounds very naive, and I would expect more from someone who's being educated in sex studies and who has a career based on the topic. I have a lot to say on this. Would you refer to the entire nether region of a man as his penis, including the testicles? No. Why not refer to a woman's pussy as her clit? To refer to this part of a woman by one of the parts by. By one of the parts that makes up the whole whole, I feel, is to give the vagina the respect that he says. Pussy the respect that it deserves. Not to mention the credibility that you deserve and seem to be striving for by using more clean language during the podcast. Except for while I was just reading your letter. Words mean everything, and using the appropriate words only gets a point across. Better. It's a podcast, for crying out loud. Why? On the topic of words, I would like to speak to Menace on this. How is horny and bang the same? Horny means you really feel like banging. Bang means you are satisfying that desire. Spoken of when using the word horny. Not the same. Get it straight. One more thing. Orgasm isn't the act of spurting your jizz everywhere in the entire experience. If you want to know where to blow your load, then ask. Don't ask. Where should a guy orgasm? Emily even was confused by this question. Thanks for reading my rant. I love the show. Just some pet peeves coming out, I guess. Brian. Okay, Brian, here's the thing. Here's the first thing. Laser hair removal. Yeah. I mean, hopefully he would pay for it. That'd be a great Valentine's Day present. A Christmas gift if she's interested in it. Secondly, okay, this is what. This came up in sex school. And Sarah and I don't know if you remember this, but we touched upon this, that you really. The proper term for vagina is vulva, because the vagina is so many things. It's your reproductive organization, organs, it's the clitoris. And that you should actually like. All of our sex school teachers said vulva instead of vagina. I'm just having a hard time getting used to it. I'm not totally. I mean, I know that's true, but you all are getting vagina more. Like when I say vagina. You know what I mean? But technically he is right, Brian. I appreciate it and. But I just. I haven't adopted that yet, but maybe one day I'll become really sexually PC and then I'll get it. All right.

Yes, Menace.

And back to you. Did you say that banging and horny was the same thing? I don't remember that.

I don't remember saying that.

Okay, but maybe notes.

So, yeah, maybe I referred to I want to bang somebody or you want to. I don't believe.

But horny. You know what horny means?

Yeah, but if you want to. If you want to bang somebody, that wouldn't that mean you are horny?

Yeah, I guess so. I guess it would mean you're horny if you want to be.

I want to say I'm banging.

You wouldn't say I'm hornying someone.

Yeah, I want to say I'm banging somebody right now and then saying that I'm horny. That doesn't make sense. But if I say I want to bang somebody, that means I am horny.

Right?

So I don't get maybe I. I don't know, Menace.

Just one of your things. People love talking about what menace says. All right, okay. This is from Kalamazoo, Michigan. Great hand job debate. My wife of three years gave me one, and it was great. Used plenty of lube, and we kissed the whole time. But I would have preferred a BJ. P.S. you're way hotter than Courteney Cox. Love the show. Mark in Kalamazoo, Michigan, he preferred a blowjob to a hand job.

Wow.

Yep. And I'm hotter than Courtney Cox, everyone. Do you know that my friends are obsessed. This has been happening to me for, like, 10, 15 years. That everyone thinks I look like Courtney Cox. I get that all the time. Like, you're Courtney Cox. And then apparently, Cougar Town, my friends. My two of my best friends called me separately, saying it is I cannot watch. These are my best friends, and they're like, I cannot watch her without thinking it's you. They're like, it is so you. The way she moves and people. You say this when Friends was on, and I watched it, and I don't see me in her.

Really?

Do you see it? You probably don't watch her, but they were like. They were like, the way she talks, the way she moves, the way her. Her mannerisms are so you. Anyway, and then people think I look like her, but I don't see that at all either. Anyway, that's just a little thing. If you're watching Cougar Town, apparently that's me. Have you seen.

No, I haven't.

So I watched it. I, like, downloaded a little bit.

I don't know.

She's a little uptight, but so am I sometimes. I have my moments.

Probably not anymore. Since she got a divorce. Slorin.

Oh, that's right. Since he admitted to Howard Stern that he had an affair.

She's probably being. What's his name. They were always spotted together before they got married. George Clooney.

Oh, I'd bang him.

Her. Her and Jennifer Aniston used to go on, like, dates together. All of them. They would, like, go on private jets and go places. I don't know what that was all about.

Wait, with other. With George Clooney?

Just George Clooney and them, too.

Oh, wow. How do you know this? I don't know.

I have a tv.

I Mean, it was in the.

But this was a long time.

I'm getting a television, especially with the Bravo show happening. Like, I feel like I need to.

Watch TV and I need to set up Apple TV in there.

Can you do this for me?

Yeah. Because this way you can even listen to the podcast on your TV with Apple tv.

That would be cool.

Yeah.

People, there's so many ways to listen to the podcast now a lot of people are doing it. Stitcher Edge fm. Someone emailed me from there the other day. Okay, this is a. Okay, here's an email. Menaces for you. Sorry, Emily. After hearing the last podcast, I think that Menace needs to get his head checked out. He likes to taser his nuts, but hates when women play with them. I think he has a screw loose in his head. Maybe he should have the woman tasers nuts for him and he will like it.

People never listen. Not like I wanted to taser my nuts. It was just.

He was on the radio and they made him taser. I fuck. I friggin waxed Menace. Not personally, but you guys should go back to the. Just search for the bikini wax or waxing show. And it was like probably show number 50. And we had a premier bikini waxer come in and we got Menace waxed in the studio.

Yeah.

How was that?

Menace? I'm gonna do anything for. He does anything.

Well, we should have you do something else.

What do you want me to do?

I don't know. I think I want you to let someone give you a hand job and then report back how great it is. How about a prostitute or something?

A prostitute?

How about a sexual surrogate? Not a prostitute who's really good at sex.

I can get somebody to give me a hand job, no problem.

Okay, this is.

Do I want one? No.

No, you don't. Okay. This is from Susan, my mother, to me. No, this is a text that I thought you would. This is actually for Menace only because I thought you would appreciate it. Because you think I'm technically. Yeah, challenged, which I'm so not. But I'm better than most people. But I still have issues. Yeah. My mom wrote, hi, Emily. This is me talking from my iPhone and it's being translated into email, which I can send you. Instead of texting and tapping on a message, you can record a message. This is like the coolest thing I've ever seen. So I just wanted to let you know that your mother is the queen of cool. Sent from my iPhone.

Nice.

You know you can do that.

Does she have an iPhone4?

No, I think she's got the other one.

3G.

Isn't that funny that my mom sent that to me last night? Yeah, my mom's the queen of cool. She's so cute.

I Wish she had iPhone4, because then her and I can FaceTime.

You'd want to FaceTime with my mom? Have you ever met her?

I believe I have.

Yeah, you did. Do you remember she was on the show, like, years ago. There's also, if you want to search for my mom, she did a show.

Waiting for the sex tape. She's gonna let me see it.

I know. My mom admitted, oh, this is a video on my YouTube channel. My mother admits to me. We're like, having. She's on the air with me and we're happy. We're doing the show and we're talking. Someone calls in and says something about wanting to make a sex tape. This is when we're doing a live call in show and want to do a sex tape with their partner. And I was like, God, yeah, I don't know. I can't imagine doing that. Can you, mom? And she's like, well, maybe I did. And I'm like, what? So she and my stepdad made a sex tape, and then they destroyed it like 20 years ago. But I mean, really, mom, you made a sex tape? Like, where was I? My mom's. Look, that's why I am the way I am.

Yeah.

My mother, who's my mom's Megan. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, but my mom's cool.

I'm just telling you, if you do get some guy that you're into, you might have to switch to the iPhone because I know you like long distance relationships.

Right.

For some reason. So for some reason, you're gonna have to get an iPhone4.

Why can't you do that with the Droid?

Yeah, actually, you can.

You can.

Q I K dot com.

But how close are you? Can you see them very well?

Yeah, it's like. It's perfect.

I mean, I Skype all the time.

It's perfect.

Yeah, I love Skyping. I Skype with my nieces.

Yeah. If you have a droid. Q I K.com and then do people.

Have.

Sex that way? FaceTime sex.

Well, there's even services where you can sign up and get chicks to FaceTime with.

No, but do couples who are long distance.

Well, my buddy's in a band and he said he's gonna use it a lot when. When he goes on tour.

Really?

Yeah. So with him and his.

I have friends who've done that I've never done Skype sex, but. But it's like, I probably could get into it, but I can't.

I would not do it just because you can screenshot everything.

Right.

You know, it's so easy to screenshot.

Something, but it doesn't record.

So if we have any, like, hot listeners that want to FaceTime with me. Perfect. That's fine.

Okay.

You can do your thing.

We should fix you up.

Yeah, I am. I'm not gonna be seen on camera.

Okay. But. Oh, you mean they could do a screen grab?

Yeah, they can. They can grab.

Can you do that from your iPhone?

You can. It's super easy.

Yeah. From a Droid.

Can you do that from a Droid? I don't know how.

Since I was always getting the technology.

I don't know how to do it on a Droid, but I'm sure you could.

Okay. Smartphone talk with Emily. We talk about our phones every week. It comes in. Okay, here's one more. Just found your podcast. Very excited about looking around. I really identified with Lauren. Totally agreed with much of what she said. Even first time was the same. Okay. No waterbed, and my shirt was on inside out. Not backwards words. I found listening to be empowering, motivating, and I'm going to be more like Lauren not settling. Thanks, Emily and Lauren from Melissa. So Lauren was a show that I did probably about a month ago. This is the shows that I do where I just interview one a woman for 30 minutes about her sex life. And everyone loved the show with Lauren. So you can search for that if you want to find it, but it's pretty intense. Like, she gets into all of her sexual escapades and experiences and all that stuff. Okay, let's get into sex tips.

Okay, what do you got?

This is what I got. Thanks for asking.

Five women approved secrets about breasts. Because let me tell you what, I'm doing this. And I might even do another quickie show about breasts, because I feel that men, while they like breasts, in theory, they like talking about the size. They want their girlfriends or whatever to get breast enlargements. They don't actually know anything about the breast. They actually don't touch them enough. They're not. Not all men, but I think that there is a dearth of men who know how to play with the breasts. So I'm giving some info. All right, here's five secrets. Number one, women don't think we're total pigs about this. Women don't think that men are total pigs about this. Three quarters of the Woman asked thinks men's fascination with breasts is harmless. 70% assume most guys are boob men. I love it when men look at my breasts. Breasts, says Rachel, 23. It makes me feel powerful. There's really no excuse for not being courteous or maintaining eye contact with women.

So mind your manners, revel in breasts privately, respect them publicly, and revere the woman who bring them into your life. For what would she be? For what would life be without them? So we don't think it's bad that you stare at our breasts. That's the first one. But we don't want you to be a pig about it. But it's okay that you appreciate our breasts and tell us that you like our breasts. Many women. Number two. Many women love their breasts more than you do. Most of the women surveyed consider their girls, their breasts, to be part of their sexual identity as opposed to fashion accessories or mere body parts. 62% think it's more exciting to pull off their tops than their bottoms. And 78% prefer the women on top position because it shows off their breasts better during sex. A woman should be proud of her breasts. They're miracles of evolution. As versatile as a Swiss army knife, Baby feeder, pleasure enhancer, compliments grabber. They often use them to their advantage too. 87% of women we surveyed think women who make an effort to show off the breasts receive preferential treatment. So we love our breasts. Yeah, they do receive. They do. I don't. You know what? I'm not a big like show off my breast person, but I feel like I should sometimes. Like whenever I do. You do get more attention. Like men do stare at your breasts, but I'm more conscious about it. I mean, I Dr. Is that weird? I don't wear low cut shirts a lot, but I should.

Why? For what I think.

I think I'd like men staring at my breasts more. This is making me want.

Weird. I think. I. I don't know if this with all men, but like they're. It's like a tractor beam. This. Even if they're not trying to look for some reason, their eyes, your eyes just go there. Go there when you don't.

When you first see a woman. So you know how whenever you see a woman, you picture having sex with her?

Yeah.

So do your eyes go like. Do they look at her face, then her boobs, then her behind? How do you do that? You know, men have their own formula.

Yeah.

Like I always turn around and see men checking out my ass. Like that happens to me all the time. Like Walking. And then I'm like, you could see the guy in the, in the mirror. You know, like if you're walking past the storefront, you can see him turn around.

Yeah.

Because you're already passed. But if you're talking to a girl, like, are you in your mind like figuring out how can I sneak a peek here, there, everywhere?

No, I don't get that much into it, but I'm really, I was actually really embarrassed. This one time I was meeting this girl for the very first time and we just decided to meet up. She was like a friend of a friend and we talked on the Internet and said, hey, you know, I'm gonna go to this movie screen. You want to come? And so she comes to the movie screening and this first time I've ever seen her right in person. And she's wearing like a low cut top. And I try to like to stare at her face, but my eyes just like went down. Well, that's as she was walking to me, so she totally saw me like looking at her breasts and I didn't like.

Well, she was wearing the shirt though, where they were hanging out.

Yeah. But it's like my eyes drawn down and I couldn't bring my eyes back up fast enough.

Yeah.

You know, so she probably totally thought I was a perv. I mean, we're still. But if she was still friends now.

But if she was wearing a shirt with her breasts. Women who wear provocative clothing know that they're wearing provocative clothing and it's for a reason. And I'm not saying it's for men only, but I'm saying a lot of times women feel empowered by showing off their breasts. They're like, I feel super like, you know how every woman has their thing that makes them feel sexy. Like I, some women feel sexy when they're wearing a low cut shirt. So she knew, she's like, I, I don't know what my thing is, but I feel sexy when I'm, I wear heels. I wear heels every single day in my life. You've never not seen me wear like boots with heels.

No.

And I guess I think boots are sexy because I wear them every day.

Yeah.

And I always have five inch heels on. And so to me, that feels sexy. If I'm not in heels, I'm not sexy. So some women like when they're not showing their cleavage, they don't feel sexy or someone when they're not showing their butt. So we all have the things that it's not just for men's attention, but it like Empowers us. Okay, number three. Women can be deeply conflicted about their breasts. As women grow up, emotions related to their breasts set in. Some women love their breasts. The fact that breasts are ever changing only complicates. Only complicates matters. The average woman changes cup sizes six times during her life. Monthly cycles, birth control pills, weight changes, pregnancy, breastfeeding, all alter the size, shape and feel of breasts. The sexiest thing a woman can wear is her self confidence. If she's least bit insecure, then work to help her feel good about her body. So number four in bed, you know nothing about them. This is to men. Men tend to have two touching defaults. They tend to either touch her the way they enjoy being touched, which usually means firmer or rougher, or the way a previous partner liked it. I say that all the time. Men always do what the last girl liked. In either case, she may not like it that way at all. Every woman will feel differently about her breast. Breasts. Here's how to deal. Every time a woman takes off her bra in your presence, wipe away all memory of previous breasts. You've never seen a breast before. This works even if she your partner. Even if she's your partner for many years. Start over by pretending you've never seen them before. You learn and relearn how someone moans, sighs and squeals when you touch them. I think that is so true. I feel like men like they kind of touch them and they move them around and then they go and they're like and when are we having sex? Like I just think that I have several friends who can actually have orgasms when their breasts are touched. And I know that feels really good. And I feel I hate those women. And I know that it feels good for me. And I feel like that they don't get touched enough during my sexual excavates. And I'm just saying that's oh, I'm like why didn't touch my breasts? Why did they go right from my vulva vagina? Whatevs. Okay, number five. Breasts can intensify a couple's emotional bond. Breasts aren't just about sex. When you recognize that we are very appreciative. Learning to desexualize moments of great intimacy. For example, while you're sitting on the couch watching tv, the simple act of laying with your head on her chest can give a woman a powerful maternal feelings towards you in a good way. Another tip, if a woman complains about her breasts being sore, offer to massage them again in a non sexual way. If you can. That is breast massage can feel incredible, and it's not something we can ask for at the spa. That's all really true. And I've got, like 15 more pages of breast stuff, which I'm not going to get into now because we have to go, but I'm going to do a special quickie show on breasts. So thanks everyone for listening to the show and anything else. Mendez, from you?

No.

Are you just thinking about breasts? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com Sex toys aren't just for women. Go to sexwithemily.com Fleshlight to discover the best sex toys for men. The Fleshlight. A lot of guys say it feels even better than sex and it helps build stamina, meaning you'll last longer in bed. Go to sexwithemily.com fleshlight to see my Fleshlight recommendations and get one tonight.

Perhaps play a little game called Just the Tip. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Hey, this is Jordan Harbinger, host of the Art of Charm podcast, the number one dating and relationship advice podcast in itunes.

I'm Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast, the number one sex and relationship podcast on iTunes and@sexwithemily.com and this is just the tip.

All right, Emily.

Boobs.

What's the deal? A lot of girls want one thing. A lot of girls want something totally different. Are there guidelines? I feel like sometimes I'm lost when I get a new pair.

You get a new pair of breasts, you don't know what to do about them. Well, here's the thing. Every woman is different. Some women love their breast touch. They want them to be lavish with attention. In fact, a nipple orgasm, second most popular orgasm there is on the planet. However, some women, they don't want to touch it off for women. Okay, so the deal. Yeah, exactly. It's for women. But I think with every new sexual act, every new pair of boobs you run into, you got to start slowly because you don't know what kind of pressure she likes. So you can start, like, rubbing her nipples very tenderly, gently. Start gentle and see how she reacts. Cup her breasts. You don't want to, like, you know, rip them out. You don't want to like that. Really?

You don't want to rip the boobs out?

No. You want to lightly graze your fingertip around the breasts. And then you might decide if she's cool with that. Then you move on to some light tugging and other nipple manipulations. Who knows? You might have nipple clamps by the.

End of the night just thinking like Jack the Ripper mode. Like you don't want to rip the breasts out. Ah, that's what I've been doing wrong.

Exactly, dude. That's why you didn't get a second date. No, but it's all about paying attention to how she is reacting. So she's moaning when you're ripping her boobs, then you're on the right track, she's leaving the house, running out the door, not so much.

Got it.

So look for verbal cues. Size, faster, sharper, intake of breath. Look at her body language. And you don't have to be a mind reader, but a body reader could score you major points.

Excellent. If you guys want to learn more from the Art of Charm about dating, relationships and even networking for business, Visit us at theartofcharmpodcast.com or check us out in itunes and follow me on Twitter at the Art of Charm and check.

Out the Sex with Emily podcast@sexwithemily.com and on iTunes. If you want to have the best sex of your life, that is. Also, follow me on Twitter sexwithemily. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger, and feel your best stressed every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being, which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleting soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for purity, potency and performance. Go to qualiolife. Com sexwithemily for 50% off. And here's a bonus use the code sexwithemily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q u a l I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for qualia for sponsoring this episode.