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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my. Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Be in bed. Feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the Kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com go there right now. You can listen to all of our podcasts. But most importantly, I've got a brand new report out called the five Biggest Mistakes Men Are Making in Bed and the five Biggest Mistakes Women Are Making in Bed. And I've been doing this show for 10 years. I figured, you know what? I can help a lot of people with this free report. So just go to my website, put in your email address, we will not share it, and you'll instantly get this free report which is changing people's sex lives as we speak. Also, check out the podcast. Check out me on Twitter exwithemily and like me on Facebook, which is facebook.com sexwithemily. We've got tons of new podcasts coming out every week. We've got stuff going on on our website, videos. I've got a book, iPhone apps. Check it all out. I am here with my favorite co host on the planet Menace. Hi, Menace.

Hello, Emily. How have you been doing?

I've been doing very well. How have you been doing?

I'm doing good. I'm here in San Francisco. The weather is beautiful. Where did I go recently? I was somewhere. I forget. I don't know. I've been hanging out here. I'm going to Vegas soon and Disneyland soon. You know, me and. Oh, I got it. I know. Real quick, though. I got a sh. Before I forget, I gotta shout out all our listeners that are on Snapchat. It's this. Snapchat is this app. It's like this new, like, social networking app.

Okay.

That I've been using and I've been bombarded by Sex with Emily listeners.

What is it?

Snap Crazy.

Is it. Should we talk offline about what it is? But. Okay, that's cool.

Yeah, yeah. Just real quick. If you don't know what it is, it was kind of popular. It got kind of popular because people would send naked photos of each other on it.

Oh, Jesus.

But I mean, that wasn't its intended use. But what happens is it's, you know, you can send a photo or a video to somebody and it's only 10 seconds long. So once you watch it, it disappears.

Oh, we've heard about this.

So that's. Yeah.

So wait a minute. Okay, go ahead.

So anyways, I was like, okay, well, you know, I'm just gonna start using it. And Emily, I. I talk about it on the radio. For every time I talk about Instagram or Facebook, I'll get like a couple followers. Every time I mention Snapchat, I'll get like a hundred times more followers.

Holy moly. What's your. So how do we find you? Okay, so how do you just Menace M e N A S e?

No, I wish I was, but I'm just Menace fm.

Menace FM on stuff. Because people sometimes can't spell your name. He's like Menace. Like menace to society, which he actually is.

Yeah.

So Menace FM and Snapchat and then you're at Menace on Twitter and Ennis on Instagram.

Yeah, correct. And you're sex with Emily all across the world.

Oh, yeah. And I'm sex with Emily on Instagram too, which I'm gonna do more of. Of course. So Snapchat.

I've been saying that for a year.

Tell me about. But yeah, okay, so what are they hitting you up? What was the number one most memorable thing that someone hit you up about? One of our listeners. What did they say?

Well, a lot of listeners, they'll like, send me little clips of them listening to the show and they'll. Because you can write text on the video or the photo and it says, oh, listen, and sex to Emily. And it's pretty cool. They just let me know that they're listening to.

I love it. That's so cool. We have so many more listeners. You know, we've been doing this for almost 10 years mat sex with Emily. And it's just crazy how many, you know, more listeners we have every day. We've got hundreds of podcasts. And the thing is, I would tell you is that we are always releasing more. Some of them are our best of and they're. They're evergreen, though. So if you see a podcast that says best of and you're like, whatever, like a blowjob giving you advice about oral sex six months ago. And if you hear it again now, it's the same thing. And you're going to learn because our show is very, very smart and funny and educational. For example, today's show, we are going to be reading the emails that sent to feedbackexwithemily.com we love hearing about you. We're going to read an email. Some of the topics are about getting and keeping an erection. Some people said they want to know the next email is about how to deal with your partner's ex. And then also how to do with your partner has another. If your partner is still. What is this? Not divorced yet. And they're starting A new relationship. The topic of the show today is outdoor sex, because it is summer and I've got a great roadhead story. I thought we should give you creative ways to have sex outdoors, but not just like randomly, like go do in your park. I'm giving you specific positions that work for each location. So it's a chock full show today.

Yeah, but you've been so anti road head for years. Have you changed your mind?

I'm bringing it back. I'm not anti roadhead. I just don't want people to get into accidents. Can't you pull aside? You know what I mean?

Because I used to be a strong supporter of it on the show when we would bring it up and then you were so anti.

No, no, no, no. I am.

We'll get into it.

We'll get to that. We'll get to that in a minute. And then I also want to say that, yeah, we've got lots of topics and lots of things that we're doing so you could check it out. We. I was gone. Okay, So I haven't talked to you. So I had a birthday. I think we talked a little bit. I had my birthday, but I went away to Palm Springs for. We talk about this. No, I stayed at the Voice at the State, at the Viceroy Hotel, which is one of my favorite hotels in Palm Springs, California. It was really beautiful. And the thing that was so remarkable was that there were so many couples there that you could tell were, like, married or had been together. You know, they had wedding rings on and, you know, they were there getting away from their kids or their family. And it was that big weekend getaway that we always talk about, like, you know, vacation sacks. But it seemed like a lot of couples just don't connect. Like, it's like those couples you see in the restaurant who are, like, staring around the room and not looking each other's eyes. There was all these couples who were, like, not touching. They were like, reading. And it just. They didn't seem that connected. And I was just wondering, like, I don't know, like, I just hope if you go away with your partner on vacation that you like. Here is my biggest issue. Menace. I was at this beautiful pool and everyone was sitting around on their cell phones. There were four couples and eight phones out. And it made me. I left my phone in the room, believe it or not, because I'm actually on this anti phone kick. Like when I walk my dog at night. Like, I'm living by the beach right now. Like, I'm at the Friggin Beach. I don't need my goddamn cell phone. So I just think it's good to have times with your partner if you want quality time to say, you know what, honey, let's leave our phones in the room, we're gonna go sit by the pool. So that was just something interesting that I just see it more and more. We're so addicted. I mean, Menace, you are addicted even more than I am to your cell.

Oh my God. It's, it's, it's crazy. And you know what? You just gave me an idea right now because I gotta go on. I gotta go on a lot of vacations.

You do.

I have 30. I have 13 trips planned and shout out to if you fly a lot or go. Go on trips a lot, download this app, it's free, it's called TripIt and it'll keep you completely organized. I love it. But. So that's why I know how many trips have coming up. And I just got a brilliant idea. See, the reason that I'm obsessed with my phone, I take it with me everywhere, is I love taking photos of things. You know I'm a huge Instagrammer. Right?

Right.

So why don't I. I can buy this little. No Nikon camera that I can put in my pocket that's like size of a credit card. I should just get that. So then I can just. When I am on vacation, I can just leave my phone in my hotel room and then I'll just, I'll post the photos later.

Exactly, Menace, that's exactly what you should do. I can't tell you. I've been doing that a lot lately. I've been just trying to have. Even if it's like, oh, I'm walking my dog for 20 minutes or I'm running to the store, I don't need my phone all the time. Like, we don't have to be connected 24 7. And I think it just, just clears our head. You can think about other things, connect with yourself, read a book. I just think we're getting too just, you know, too crazy. But so yeah, that's good. You should do that, Menace. And then don't they have. Don't they have phones? I mean, don't they have cameras now that you can directly upload? Like you can directly upload to Instagram anyway from the phone.

Well, in Europe they do not here in America. So you have to be. You have to be in like a WI fi area.

Okay, so here's another thing I want to say is that I was in my Bathing suit for three days. It was a hundred degrees at the beach. And I, like, freaked out. Like, so you know how we have all these sponsors that we love and I only. I only promote products or tell you about products that I actually believe in. Like, I'm not just like, oh, this is good. You should try it. I never have. So I'm at the beach for the first time. I lived in San Francisco for a long time. I don't have a tan. I don't even own bathing suits. Like, we don't go outside. We don't sit by the pool. So I used this Crazy Girl wannabe naked intimate shave cream. It's like this infamous. They used to call it the coochie cream, or they still do in some of their lines. It's the most amazing thing in the whole world because it prevents ingrown hairs, shave bumps, and it's good for all those tender places. So I was able to shave, and for the first time, I had no weird bumps. And it's just the coolest product. But they've got tons of products on their website. Go to crazygirlproducts.com use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off anything at Crazy Girl Products. They've got, like. And it's only like 13 bucks. And they've got this orgasm gel. They've got Diva dust. They've got Max for Men, which is their men's line. So just check them out. I just love when a product like works. And I'm excited and I just wanted everyone to know. So that's my bikini. I looked not only good in my bikini, but I was all, I was un, bumpy. Because don't you ever look down in there and girls are bumpy. And you're like, ew. Do you think that?

Yeah.

You thought that?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Anyone's thought that. I know you've thought that. So I've also been, as you know, doing Loveline radio show on Thursday Nights with Dr. Drew Pinsky. It's every Thursday. You can watch it, listen live wherever you are@lovelineshow.com and it's amazing. Amazing medicine. You know how you and I both love live radio because that's how we started. And you. You still do live radio, but, like, all the callers we get like, oh, my God, like, after one after the next. And it's so interesting and like, like, so many, like, young guys calling in about, like, you know, it's just a lot of younger kids, you know, younger, ish. Like 18 to 28. People who are problem with orgasms and people who got married too young and how do they reignite their sex drive? And just, you know, I just love hearing from the people. But interesting topic we did the other night, and I thought we should talk about for a second is we do this thing called open forum at 11 o'. Clock. And it was, what do you do if your partner has a higher sex drive than you? Specifically women. So I feel like it's always been a stereotype in our culture that men have higher sex drives. Like, men always want it, and women are like, not tonight, honey, I've got a headache. But it was interesting. Like, all these women called in that they have higher sex drives than their partners. And I'm wondering, like, if you've heard that lately, because I feel like. I feel like I've heard that for years from women, more from women than men, that they want more sex than their partner. Like, do you hear that from, like, guys that you think other guy friends of yours are like, dude, she wants to have sex every night and I'm exhausted.

Yeah, I. That guy from Scrubs. The main guy from Scrubs. Forget his name. Jesus. He. He had a movie that he put out.

Oh, Zach Braff. Zach Braff.

Garnes. Zach Brath. Zach Brath was just on Howard Stern, and he was talking about how his girlfriend has a bigger sex drive than he does.

Oh, that's interesting. See, it's everywhere. And so I think for these couples, I think that that is really common. And what you have to do is talk to your partner about it, because what happens is people want to look elsewhere. And it's like, you know, a lot of times men don't. The reason why men don't want to have sex is different than why women don't want to. Oftentimes men, you know, they're feeling like. Like maybe they're stressed at work, they're stressed about money, they're stressed about kids. Whatever it is, men who experience stress or anxiety in their life, which is a lot of people these days, it can have a direct impact on their sex life. So it's something you can talk to your doctor about. Also medications. But that's interesting. Zach Braff. Yeah, I love him.

Yeah.

He's got his new movie coming out, huh?

Yeah, he. He raised about $2 million on Kickstarter for a movie that he wrote and wants to direct, is called Wish I Was Here. So it's supposed to be out by next year.

Oh, that's amazing. I've heard about it. And then People were like pissed that he raised money through Kickstarter, but whatever. I think that's great.

So what?

Didn't you hear that I read some.

Article that people can't do it because.

They can't do it. But you know what? Kickstarter has raised more money, I heard, for creative products than anything else. So another thing, Menace, before we get into everything else is. So I'm answering some questions for a very popular women's magazine asked me to answer a bunch of questions for their. For what? I'll let you know. It's on newsstands, but I'm not going to say who it is for yet. But you'll first of all manage. You'll totally appreciate that. It's called, it's a women's magazine. But they did Sex Confessions from Men and I wanted just to get your advice and how you would answer this. If a guy says these are confessions from men, I want a threesome with her friend.

In your expert opinion? They ask. I just want to know what you think Menace is. Forget the part that it's with her friend. Just the guy that wants a threesome. I know my answer. But why do you believe a threesome is such a reoccurring male fantasy? It always is the number one fantasy for men. And I just want to know, being a man, and I don't even think it's your number one fantasy. I don't think you even want one or you've had them but you didn't like it. I can't remember. But, but why do you think that is.

Off the top of that?

If it's possible and the option is there, I mean, who wouldn't want to do that? Why? Who doesn't find that extremely hot?

I know, but why? Why? Why? I mean, this is what I said. I think that. Yeah.

I think.

Okay, well, yeah, I mean a certain point in, in males lives, let's say early 20s, when their sex drive is huge. I mean, I think that would be an ultimate goal of theirs. Like, oh, I can't. I don't have to just have one. I could have exactly at the same time, you know?

Right, right. I think that, I think that for men, like their fantasy.

Is to watch two women together. They love watching one women. So watching two women making love to each other can be a massive sensory over the top turn on for men.

Yeah.

And then three.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Three. Yeah, it's amazing. And then the other question I have for you. What'd you say?

Imagine three women.

Oh my God. Three women crazy.

I rather do three women at the same time because then I wouldn't have to like, pay, you know, I wouldn't be afraid of having to pay attention to one more than the other because least two of them can take care of each other.

Exactly.

Well, I'm working on one. I mean, you know, you gotta have. You gotta have higher goals, people.

I know, Bring it. Exactly. Just full on orgy. No, but I have a lot of guys who are like, yeah, I had a threesome and was overrated because all I found myself was really busy trying to please two women and I can barely please one woman. So that's something else I've heard. Okay, the other question I have for you, Menace, because you're helping me. I already wrote these answers, but I'm like, this is so for. Menace is. It's about. It's about recording. This is a confession from a man. He says, I want to record us doing it and then watch it later on. And the question from the journalist to me was, why do men have an interest in it? In it? What is it about watching themselves that is so hot? So menace, you as a prolifera. As a prolific sec. Ho. DIY sex tape maker at your house. I don't know if you do it anymore. But Menace has done a lot of sex tapes with women. He doesn't. He doesn't. He has not posted them on TMZ yet. But why, Menace, like, seriously deep. This is a real question. Don't make a joke, but like, in your heart, like, why Is it because you like watching it, you like making it? It's like, what do you watch them again? Like, it's explained to me what goes on. Like, what. Why you desire this so.

Well, I think. I think it's a lot of. It is like, guys love having memories of having sex with women because they feel like it's such an accomplishment. So also they want to have the videos because then they think, okay, well, I may never have sex with this person ever again. I love to have a memory of it. And then also I can, you know, use it for masturbation later.

Right. And do. Do you use it for masturbation later?

Yeah, I never watch. I never watch any. I never watch any porns I watch. If I want to watch a video, I just watch ones that I made myself.

Right, and you do that often. You bring the ones from rotation into rotation. I mean, when your girlfriend's at home.

I mean, when I.

She doesn't listen. It's okay. What?

No, but I'm saying when I wasn't having a partner regularly, then yes, I would bust out the archives.

Okay, the archives.

You know, but I would never. I would never watch. I would never watch any other like website or anything like that.

Okay. Just curious what you had to say about that mess. And then what else with you? Anything else that you have to share? Like, I miss you. I haven't talked to you, but I think I'm going to be there in San Francisco in a few weeks.

Oh, really?

What else do I have to share?

I don't know. I just miss you and I love you. Tell me.

Oh, no, again, just more traveling. August, I'll be what's up to all our listeners in Chicago and Philadelphia. I'll be out there in August.

Great.

And I am. I. Oh, here's my newest obsession. I know it's. No, it's not very sexy, but my new obsession because as everything I love is buying stocks.

Is what? Buying stocks.

Stock stocks. You know, of companies.

Yes, yes. You're playing the stock market.

Yeah. Because it has. I didn't. I never realized this, but it has everything I love. I love spending money.

Right.

I have a really bad problem of just loving. I'm not very frugal at all.

Right, Right.

So at least I feel like I'm spending money on something. I'm getting something in return. And it feels like a little bit of gambling, which I love.

Right, right. But you gotta be smart about it.

Yeah. Living in San Francisco, you don't really. There's no. Really too many options where you can just go gamble right away if you wanted to. This way I can gamble every single day. I love it.

Yeah, exactly. Oh my God. That's cool. Menace, look at you making money.

At least I least. Least with this, you know, I get to keep a little bit of my money too. You know, I wish I was doing this. I was doing this earlier.

Well, you had to pay off your debt and all that stuff. But you did.

I had to pay off debt. And then I got so messed up in the head that my parents never let me say. Never let me spend my own money. Like anytime I made. I've been working since I was like 15 and a half. 16 years old. I saved all. They made me save all my money, all of it.

Wow.

And then just have a little piece. And then once I got. Got the hands, my hands on my own money. I never learned anything from saving all the money. Like, damn, I finally have money. Now I can go get the things that I wanted, you know?

Right. Good. You're making decisions, going crazy. Oh, you've been buying everything. Well, I'm proud of you that you're making money and that's all good. And then it's truth is that, you know, like money is a big thing in relationships. I think it's smart that you're learning. Money, sex, kids and, and I think those are the biggest three killers of relationships. Not that the kids are so bad, but how they deal with the children and money issues. Couples don't talk about money issues and how they handle money. So that's, you know, it's good to have a healthy attitude about it. I think people are cheap as hell, whatever. And I just like, you know, if a guy has a lot of money, then I have no questions as long as you spend it on me. Okay, let's move into not kidding. You know, they don't have to buy me money. Although one of our listeners does want to send me a pair of shoes size seven again, which you know that I love. Okay, let's get.

I told you to make an Amazon wish list and put it on on the sex with Emily website and see if anyone gets it for you.

Should I do that? Okay, I'm putting up an Amazon wish list. Will you help me, Menace?

It would just be, it would just be interested. Interesting. Just to see. Regardless, even if people don't buy you anything, what your what things does Emily.

Oh my God. What I want?

Well, I tell you what, like I would even. I don't know. You're like a total hippie. I don't see like, I know you like fancy things and like shoes wise like Issei and laurent and Gucci and all this stuff like any other woman. But it's funny, other than that, like I have, I would absolutely have no freaking idea of things that you would want in your life.

Oh my God, you think I'm a hippie.

It would be an interesting insight. Yeah.

Wow.

I still don't even understand what you do with your day. I know you're very busy all the time and you work towards your brand, but. But outside your brand. I do not know what you do for entertainment.

I don't. I just work all the time trying to build my brand. I don't. I'm working on having more fun. I live near the beach. And you're right. And I've been a workaholic building my sex with Emily brand which is doing very well. And you're right. I don't know what the hell I do. But I would like a new iPhone which I Haven't gotten the new one yet. The six or the five or whatever is the one that I don't have.

Whatever we'll talk about. But I definitely don't need sex toys because here's the problem. So my, as you know, I have a five by five storage unit that I had to rent just to fill with all the sex toys that I have. Because every company sends me every day. I get boxes and boxes and boxes. And it's hilarious. Like, I'm gonna do something for our people, for our listeners where I'm gonna be giving away just some of these sex toys as we often do. But I'm gonna do a funny video.

Of people coming to my storage unit picking up their sex toys. So those will just be like for people in the Los Angeles area, but I'll also do it for listeners. But I think I mentioned this. I don't know if I mentioned yet, but there was like a huge deal. You know, the original, you know, the Hitachi Magic Wand is no longer Hitachi. So Hitachi sold. Hitachi was part of the whole, you know, like television, whatever. It's now called the, it's the original Magic wand. And they've actually improved it. It's like the Mack truck of all vibrators. It plugs into the wall. They have improved it. It's brand new and it is called the original Magic Wand. But it's a little better now. It's a little stronger. It's got a little, it feels a little differently. It's much more intuitive. The user experience is better. So go to goodvibes.com, use coupon code GV EMILY20 and you get 20% off orders of $100 or more. Or just visit my products page, go to sexdelmy.com, click on Good Vibes. You can see all the toys that I pick. If you don't know what to buy your partner or if you're looking beginner, vibrator, I pick all. I list all the best ones there. That's goodvibes.com. one of my favorite places on earth. Okay, so I'm gonna get in some emails because you love hearing from the people. Okay. Dear Emily.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Emily. Sorry.

Go Menace.

Before, before I forget you. Have you seen. You're living in Los Angeles now, but there was this video. I mean, ladies might find this attractive and funny and not. Well, some parts aren't funny, but this completely naked man was terrorizing people inside the BART station, which is our, you know, our subway system in San Francisco. And he Just went absolutely nuts and was doing acrobatics throughout the whole subway system. And it's gone completely viral. And come to find out this guy was like a circus performer. And I mean complete like backflips, totally nude.

Oh my God.

Doing like side cartwheels. Yeah. It is insane. If you're on YouTube, you didn't hear about it because you live on the east coast or somewhere else around the world. You got to go on YouTube, type in BART Crazy naked man. It is absolutely freaking hilarious. The only part is he does, he does like chase after some, some women and you know, some old men and stuff like that and scare them a little bit.

Okay. So he's a little perverted. Ok.

But he doesn't harm them at all. But he does freak them out and he just does like these insane handstands like completely naked.

Oh my God. It's crazy. Okay, I'll check it out. Yeah, send it to me.

I decided to share that.

Okay.

I love it. I'll send you a link.

Okay, so. Okay. Dear Emily, over the past several months I've had trouble keeping and sometimes getting an erection. I have a very beautiful wife who is very sexy, but sometimes during sex I lose the stiffness. I used to be able to any and all the time, but now I just don't know. Can you help this 43 year old man due to work schedule, probably will miss your show. Please respond by email. Thanks Fred. Sorry Fred. I'm responding on the show. First of all, you're a 43 year old man. It's more common that way, you know, for men in their 40s. So the first thing I would do is talk to your doctor about the problem. He might want to prescribe a medication for you, although I don't always say that's the first bet. But he'll also be able to look at your diet and the effect of any other medications that you're currently taking like blood pressure medication, antidepressants or if you drink a lot or smoke pot or smoke cigarettes. I don't know, whatever it is, there are a lot of things that can impact that. Also when this happens, there are things, exercises that you can do. There's like the Stop Start method. There's a great book called the Multi Orgasmic Man. It doesn't mean that you need to have multi orgasms, but it does teach these exercises that men can do. Not a lot of great things on the market. I mean if you want to take Viagra, I don't know, I don't like to resort to medications. So I would say the first thing is to talk to your doctor. But also, a lot of times, I don't know. You said it just over the past several months, Fred, that this has been happening. So I'm wondering, like, if you have some extra stress in your life. A lot of times when men are experiencing, like, financial stress or stress with work or emotional turmoil, it will have an impact on their sex life and therefore their penis. So that's what I gotta say about that. And remember, just because you can't keep hard or you have premature ejaculation, which is. Or you lose a stiffness, which is kind of a bummer sometimes when you take your mind off it and you turn all your attention to pleasing your partner. Like, just decide, you know what? I'm not getting hard right now. And you get in, you perform oral sex on her. Use toys, play some games. If you let your mind drift to making her happy, you'll get your mind off of thinking about how hard you are. And you might just surprise yourself by getting a hard penis back again within 20 minutes of pleasing your partner. So just because you can't, doesn't mean that she can't have fun as well. Don't forget that. Because a lot of times men are in their head and they're like, it's all over. But believe me, if a guy couldn't get hard, but he was like, emily, I want to give you a back massage and perform oral sex on you for six hours, I'd be pretty goddamn happy.

Not six hours, but you know what I mean.

Do you know what's crazy? Okay, you know I love Gawker, right? So anytime. Gawker, anytime there's a sex tape that comes out, Gawker puts clips of it on Gawker.com. so there was the video of that teen mom who I absolutely cannot stand. And I do not know how Dr. Drew even deals with her. Her name's Farah. She's a completely. A complete freaking moron, okay? So she. She came out the sex tape to try to pawn it off. Like, oh, it was a leaked tape, but she totally just had it made with this porn star. And so I looked at the clip, and this. It was weird because the guy. The guy's penis wasn't completely erect. It was weird. It was, like, erect halfway, and then the rest. Rest of it just seemed like it was just hanging there. So it was, like, just flopping around like crazy.

Wow.

And I was like, you know, I don't know how many. How many penises have you dealt with in your life where they were just, it was just halfway there instead of just completely, you know, where it was?

Half heart?

Yeah. Yeah.

I think that that happens a lot.

What, that men are hard and they're not hard or they can only get half hard, half erect, half masked. I think it's really common that men go in and out of erections like, like they're really into it and they stop and get a condom or she gets up to pee and then he gets soft again. So I think it's really common. Is that what you're asking?

Yeah, I just, I, I don't know. I never encountered that before. Where, you know, I, I, I just, just Viagra should take care of that.

I guess, but I know, I'm sorry. Where did you see these penises that weren't hard and they were going hard again? Where did you see them?

It was on Gawker.

On Gawker. Okay. A sex tape. Well, maybe it's because he had a videotape, a video camera on him. That could be also.

But no, he was a, he was a professional porn star.

Oh, he was. Okay. I mean, I just think it happens. Who knows? He could be taking drugs. But a lot of men, I think that the men who get turned on by seeing their partner have pleasure as well, can bring it, get their, get there, get it back on. And I think that once you get inside, they can get, they can get hard again. They can get a boner again.

By seeing their partner have an orgasm. A lot of men get orgasms when they give their partner or get hard when they see their partner giving orgasm, or they get soft while she's trying to get the condom on, but then he gets hard again when she gets it on. So I think it's common that it fluctuates. Totally common. Don't freak out about it. And I do believe again that a lot of premature ejaculation issues or a lot of staying hard issues, keeping an erection issues have to do with the mind and have to do with like, oh, my God, it happened last time, it's going to happen again. And what I want to teach men, and I'm trying to think of some kind of like, tape, like some kind of like mp3 I can create for men with premature ejaculation to listen to, like a meditation, but it's all about your penis. And it's like, get out of your head. And how you. I know I say that all the time and people are like, but what the hell do you mean? Because A lot of us, especially when we're with a new partner, we think about, like, does she like me? Does she think I'm attractive? Is my penis big enough? Am I doing the right thing? She's thinking, do my thighs look fat? I wish she turned the lights off. We're in our heads. And so what you have to do in that moment is go back to your body and think, what am I feeling in this moment? And go back to like, okay, my penis is inside her vagina. What does that feel like? Oh, I'm getting these tingling feelings in my spine. She. You know, and for women, like, just get out of your head. We're always in our heads. And maybe it's just because I'm neurotic. I don't know. A lot of us, we're in our heads. The phone's going off. You got to just get. Go back to your breath. And if you can't even do that, just focus on your breath, because it'll take your. It'll take you out of your head and into your heart and your body.

How's that? That's what I feel. Okay.

Because that's a big one. I'm always telling people to get out of their head, and they don't know what I mean. So I had to just explain. Dear Emily, you said on Loveline that you feel a person needs to cut all ties with an ex in order to move forward. I've been with my boyfriend for six months now, and he is a bartender. When one of his exes comes to the bar, he is forced to interact with them. I trust him. But after hearing your comment, I'm having second thoughts about our feature. Signed Dan.

Okay, so Dan is with a bartender, and I. Okay, this is the thing. I think what I was saying on Loveline, what I always think is that if you're with somebody, let's say you go through a painful breakup. And I want to hear what you say about this menace, too, because, I mean, I think we agree, but you never know with us. But I think that if you. The relationship ended and you know that it's over and you want to move on, and you can't seem to move on, you have to cut off all ties with this person, whether it means deleting their phone number, defending them on Facebook, not going to the places that you know they're going to frequent. Don't become a psycho stalker. Don't ask your friends if they ran into them. You really need to cut those ties. Now, I'm not saying that you can Never be friends again. But I'd say just for six months. It's like. It's like a detox. Like, you almost become addicted to your. You might have been with them for six months, a year, 10 years, and it's just hard to get them out of your system. So you have to just, you know, build a really full life without that person in it. And it's hard. But if you want to move on and you want to heal. The people who, like, talk to their exes every day and, like, it takes them a month to get all their stuff back from the apartment after they broke up are not really dealing in reality. And the sooner you get over your ex and the sooner you take measures, measures, the sooner you'll move on. But with this guy and with this guy who is a bartender, I mean, he can't exactly, like, you know, if they all live in a neighborhood and the ex comes in the bar, he can't say, you can't come into my place of employment. So I don't know. Dan, does he seem. If he's. Is he flirty with this guy.

He'S thinking of breaking up with his part his boyfriend because his ex comes in the bar. But unless you think there's something going on with them, if he's just serving him a cocktail and that happened to be a hangout for all their buddies, I don't really think you need to break up with him. But if you notice some behavior where they're flirty or something's going wrong, then I, you know, I would have a talk with them. But basically, the theory that you should end it with your ex. You know, me, Magnus. I'm friends with all my exes. My ex is the baby daddy to my dog 10 years later. But you have to just. I think, to heal emotionally, you need to just cut, cut, cut, clean, break, amputate. What do you think?

Yeah, totally. I don't know. Well, it's kind of hard also with social media these days.

I know. That's why you got to get them off your Facebook page.

Not to cut. It's. It's hard because, you know, I mean, some people, some exes you are completely cool with, you know, it just didn't work out.

Exactly.

You got. You guys are cool. So your friends on social media. But what sucks is, like, you know, you're dating somebody, and they happen to know that these people are your exes. So even if something is completely innocent and they're commenting on something, you know, some photo you took or something like that, you know, it does make the other person jealous. And then, you know, think there's more going on than just that.

I know we've all become a city of like, we've all become like a world of like professional stalkers. Like I can see every ex boyfriend's vacation and baby and whatever. Like I don't need that and that. I mean, those are my exes I'm still friends with. But if it's a recent ex, you don't want to see what they did last night. Like you really don't believe me? Get them on. You can even block, you don't have to defriend them. You can block them all their postings from your feed. Right, Menace?

You can. Yeah.

Okay.

They also, I don't know, they pop up.

Okay, they do pop up sometime. Alright, so here we go. Okay. Oh, this is, this is good. Dear Emily, my wife doesn't like be going down on her because she's so dry down there. If I can't go down on her, what are their forms of foreign play can I do? She complains that there's not enough foreplay. However, not being able to go down on her is like taking away my best weapon. I've been able to do it with past girlfriends and have had success with it. Please help. Okay, so here's the deal. A lot of women, okay, first of all, I believe that every couple needs a bottle of lubricant on their nightstand. Okay? It is not. So what if she's dry? She probably feel there's a stigma attached to dryness in women. And so I think a lot of women are embarrassed. They're like, oh, he's gonna think I'm not turned on, I'm not into him. But there are like dozens of reasons why women are dry. And they can be very turned on, but they're still dry. And so I think you should always have a lubricant nearby. There's lubricants that taste good. So if you really want to perform oral sex on her, you can get.

A lubricant that has like a little taste to it. Or, you know, I prefer tasteless lubes. I prefer ones that are just like, you know, you can't really taste it, but you can still perform oral sex on her. I like the.

Masque oral strips. You know, I think they're amazing. That's sexualflavors.com F L A V O R S. They're these like Listerine strips that you put on your tongue that match the taste of semen, whatever those are. Just fun to play with because it could feel tingly on her. But as far as a lubricant goes, I actually have. Okay, so I have tested every lubricant on the market, and in a month from now, I have a lubricant coming out that is what I believe is the best lubricant that's ever been made on the planet. And it's not just because I made it. It's because I partnered with one of the smartest people in the business. If you go to emilyandtoni.com and put in your email address, we will email you when the lube is ready, which is in the next month. So Menace, if. Okay, so he wants to know what other forms of foreplay he can do. So you can't perform oral sex on her. You could play with her breasts very softly. I find that couples who are together for a while, I feel like a lot of men just kind of go right for the vagina and they forget that the breasts, the nipples are really sensitive. The second most common type of orgasm is a nipple orgasm. I'm not saying she can have that, but you can. You could give her her massage. You could use a massage candle. You could warm her up in a lot of different ways. You could also play with sex toys together. Hopefully you're not one of these guys who's got a stigma using sex toys. Because most women need the control stimulation. If you go to goodvibes.com and use coupon code GVMLY20, you get 20% off any toys they recommend. The best couple vibrator. Vibrators. I love the Lelo Little vibrators. I love the Jae Joo vibrator, the Mimi. So these are all different four by things. Take a shower together, get warmed up, and it's. I don't know how old she is, but if she's dry down there, there's also could be something going on with her hormones, so she could get checked by her doctor. But I just think you got to get creative and ask her what she likes. Maybe she likes being kissed on the neck, the ears, whatever. Buy my book hot sex. Over 200 things. You can try tonight. There's great things there. Buy it on Amazon. So that's deal. Menace, have you been with a woman and you suspect if she's. If she's dry, you think that she's not? You haven't turned her on yet? Like, what do you think?

No, just women sometimes are naturally dry. I learned that from you.

I love when you learn years ago, years ago. I know. Menace, you're so cute.

I know it's very rare, but I do listen to you.

Do listen to me. Oh, my God, I miss you. Okay, so let's get into our topic. Those were some great emails again. You can always email me. I feedbackexwithemily.com so I figured outdoor sex, it is summertime, lots of people taking road trips, which I do. You love taking road trips, don't you?

Or no.

Do you fly everywhere?

Yeah, I got one planned at the end of the month.

Okay, good. Are you coming to la and are you coming to LA and not calling me just so I can prepare?

Yeah, that's why I didn't say LA.

That's cool. Whatever.

Yeah, but it's like 24 hours. I don't got time. I wouldn't.

Honey, whatever you do, okay, Whatever. Doesn't matter. Okay, so roadhead. Funny. My friend just came, caught me this morning and said that she was dating this new guy. They were driving from actually San Francisco to la, and she gave him Rohead Roadhead. And he was so excited that he came in two minutes and he came all over himself. And they had to pull over and he had to wash off, but he came in two minutes. It's dangerous. Pull over to the side of the road. Don't do it while you're driving. But wouldn't that be kind of fun if a girl started performing oral sex on you on the side of the road and then you had to exit. When was the last time outside of the. Well, like, you know, while you're driving and then you exit the highway so you don't lose control of the wheel. I don't want anyone to get an accident because I said you should perform roadhead.

I think you should, you know, be able to control the vehicle. I mean, if it's at night and it's on a freeway where there's really no one around, there's. There's some here in our area where it's just like absolutely dead. There's no one there. You don't really have to pull over then you're super suspicious. But, you know, I don't know, just.

Play with each other. You could. You could stick your fingers inside her.

I see the safety.

Yes. I don't know. I'm just trying to be safe sex person, but whatever. If you can handle your opera, operate heavy machinery and get a blow job, good for you.

So, outdoor sex. What'd you say?

I don't know. That's kind of messed up, though. She let him, you know, get all over himself.

That's.

That's stupid.

She didn't realize she would swallow, but she didn't realize that he was about to have. It happens. He happens. He. It happened so fast. He was so excited.

Anyway.

I mean, like, when. I don't know, whatever. She should have.

It just got me thinking about Roadhead. Okay, it's not a great story, but it's about Roadhead, and Roadhead is fun. And you can also, like, you know, play with her if she's driving. So it's not. It's an equal opportunity thing. Women can get roadhead, too. You can perform Roadhead on her.

Yes.

Okay. Outdoor socks. It's the summer. Yay. Okay, so outdoor socks might not be legal in all places, probably most places, but you can be discreet. And you can also. It can be really like just a way to spice things up. As long as you're going to be outdoors this summer having fun. It's really hot for a lot of couples. And it's not because it's just because it's something different. It's sort of the unknown. What if someone catches us? But you can also use discretion as you plan your outdoor exploits because it's generally, like I said, not legal and not appreciated by a lot of passerbys. But if you're worried about getting caught, I think you can just experience the thrill by fooling around on your apartment's balcony to start, or in your backyard or a garage or a pool. Just make sure the fence is high enough so the neighbors don't get a free show. From there, you can then add more scandalous spots. So women, to prepare, should wear a skirt with no panties or a little sundress or whatever. And guys need pants that unzip. So it's easy to make a quick and at least semi clothed getaway in case you have to make a mad dash for it. So if you want to pick a place, the beach is a good place. Although I have a problem with the sand getting in places that I don't want it. So I would say you could go in the water. You're weightless in the water, which provides the perfect cover for friskier activities.

So the beach, you know, you could go on the sand, but bring a blanket. But also like the beach and like the shallow water. Have you done that.

Hot. You could also try something grittier like a public restroom or in your favorite club. You could choose somewhere safe and secluded and put a blanket or a jacket between you and the paint job for comfort. If you're on the. If you're on the hood of your car. I was saying. I was gonna say you should do it on your car.

Getting off the beaten track, you might be overtaken by feelings of passion when out on a hike. I did this once with this. With. With a guy I was dating. We just started dating. We were in our honeymoon phase. We went on a hike in beautiful Northern California, and we had a little picnic plan. And like, we kind of, you know, moved the picnic off the beaten path and had sex in the woods. And it was sunny and beautiful, and it was really, really hot. So no one saw us. We went off the track. It was fun.

Yeah, it was really fun. I mean, I. It was like. I don't know. I mean, it's just like. It's hot. I will always remember that. I will always remember that experience because it was just something different. So you can also go on a camping trip, erotic camping trip. Find it like, so again, find a spot that's semi remote, obscured by trees, behind big rocks. You could also set up a rustic but romantic campsite with a comfortable air mattress in your tent and do stuff like that. You could do it in your backyard. So let's just say you don't want to go outside yet. Your home turf is a great place to experiment. The beauty of the backyard is it offers all the sensory benefits of an outdoor experience while still giving you privacy, especially if you get behind a hedge or a fence. So a great position if you're doing it in your backyard is reverse cowgirl. Have him sit in a lounge or lounge chair with his legs outstretched. Then straddle him so you're facing his feet. Place your hands on his thighs and plant your feet on the ground on either side of the chair. Then move up and down to stimulate the sensitive nerves at opening of your vagina. Another option, have him recline so he's lying down, which allows for deeper penetration. So there you go. I just told you all to have a hot summer night in your backyard. If you have a fence and the neighbors are watching or turn at the lights, that's kind of hot. Have you had sex outside, Menace.

Outside? I'm trying to remember if it's ever been outside. I mean, it's definitely been, like, public bathrooms and stuff like that.

Yeah, I never wanted to do that.

I don't want germs out in the actual wilderness. I do not believe that has happened. But in the car has definitely happened numerous times, right? Yeah, just. Just not. Just.

Not one with nature has happened.

Right. Okay, so I'm giving you ideas. Okay, here's another thing. In the woods. Next time. Again. Next time you're hiking, but I'm going to give you a position now. Next time you're hiking or mountain biking with your guy or girl, stop and work up a different kind of sweat. There's something very wrong primal about having sex in nature. So a good position is doggy style. Lean on a big rock or tree for support while he enters you from behind. This will keep sticks. This will keep the sticks from getting up your butt. His hands can stroke your other hot spots and you can arch your back for deeper penetration. I like that idea. Again, water. Not just the ocean, but shower. So getting wet can be wild. Being immersed in water or standing in a stream of it feels pleasurable since your skin can become more sensitive to touch when wet. So whenever we're wetter, like whether it's through water or lubricant, it just feels more sensitive. So it's so it's really great to use water as your lubrication, but sometimes it can wash away your natural lubrication, which is when you can use a silicone based lube. But the best position is standing up. So if you're in the shower, wrap your legs around his waist. Have him lean up against you against the wall and push your swimsuit bottom to the side for easy access. Throw your arms around his neck while he grabs your butt to control the pace that could be in the water. And then finally, which I think is so peaceful on a boat or a raft again, water. Super sensual, soothing hot summer night. Instead of taking an actual dip, float above by having sex in a boat or a sturdy raft on a quiet lake. I was on a raft in. It was so nice. Like I wanted to have sex, but like I wasn't with someone to have sex with. But I was on a raft when I was at this hotel in Palm Springs. It just was so peaceful and all these couples, I was like, why aren't they like having sex and like doing it? Because they weren't touching. I told you. That's how I opened the show. But I was thinking the water is a very sensual place. So just think of some fun things to something to mix it up this summer when you're outdoors having fun. That's what I got for you on our topic. What'd you say?

I said, hell yeah.

Hells to the yes. And then what else? Menace. We'll be doing a show again next week. We've got lots of shows coming up.

Please download the Stitcher app You can listen. It's totally for free. You can listen to Sex with Emily on the Citra app. It's for your iPhone, for your Android, for your tablet. It's S T I T C H E R. Just type in sex or type in Sex Emily or just Emily Morris. And you can stream it on the go. It works.

The best app ever. People, people. Because a lot of people don't realize that they think they have to download it from itunes. I mean, you cut. You just have this app, Stitcher, and you can listen to every. All your favorite podcasts, which hopefully mine is at the top of the list. It's awesome. So, yeah, download Stitcher, and that's a great thing. And then Menace, you can find Menace at White Man Menace. I mean, Ennis. And then your website. Do you want to give out a website right now? You're always changing your things.

Yeah, I'm just. Instagram, follow Instagram, Menace on Instagram. That's my favorite. And are all the people on Snapchat? There's apparently a ton of our listeners on Snapchat, so Menace FM on Snapchat.

Okay, I'll check out Snapchat too, I think. I love everyone. I love my listeners. I just. I love hearing from you. I've been getting so many emails. You know, Menace, we always get a lot of emails with questions from listeners, and I'm trying my best to get to all of you and. Because I just want to help the world have better sex. Because that's why we're all here on the planet. When we have better sex, we're in a better world. Remember, go to my website, sex with emily.com. put in your email address. I will not spam you, but you will get the five mistakes you're making in bed. If you're a man and a woman, you can select. And I think you really like the report. Let me know what you think of it. And thank you so much, Menace. I adore you to pieces. And thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

So you know I'm upset with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles? Okay, so get this. I always light candles when I'm enjoying a glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emily and Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed and here's why. See, these candles are really aromatherapy massage oils that when warmed like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use during foreplay. And you know me, I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fougere. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today@emilyandtoni.com and you're welcome.

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