SWE: Beating around the Bush

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean?

Like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. Feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to. I don't think you're listening too.

You always adjust. Adjust to the volume of whatever the.

I can't hear anything.

You can't?

Nope. I can't hear me right here. Hey, everyone.

What do you do without me?

I don't know what I do without Menace.

How about there? Can you hear yourself?

Yes, I sound great. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about Sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithelmily.com or emilymorris.com if you're in your office and they won't let you type in sex with Emily. And thanks, everyone, for becoming friends with benefits members. You know, you get four shows a week and you get special benefits and special love from us.

Lots of love.

Lots of love. It's good to be back. It was a long way.

I know. I haven't seen you in so long.

That's what it feels like.

That's why we probably had a rocky intro.

We had a rocky intro. It's been rough. Today's show, we'll be talking about grooming. It's one of my favorite topics. Female grooming and manscaping.

Oh, it's dangerous.

And anal bleaching, which is popular for men and women. Gay men.

Yeah, gay men. I was about to say that.

And women, they're bleaching their anuses, which is interesting. We'll talk all about it.

Hair patterns about that.

I know. We'll talk about it. And yeah, we'll be reading your emails. You send a feedback@sexwithemily.com and tomorrow we'll be announcing the winners of our Valentine's Day contest. I was out last week a little bit. I know it's been a few a week, but whatever. We got a lot of entries, so we have to go through it. And we have to get rid of everything in our office because we got great stuff to give away.

I know.

Did you ever use your massage candle that they gave you from Jimmy Jane?

No, but it's sitting on my kitchen counter.

That's helpful.

It's supposed to be next to your candle. I have another candle that needs to burn out first.

What are you gonna, like, sit down to give a girl massage? Being laying down and you gotta run into your kitchen naked or something?

Yeah.

You should put it by your bed. It's a bedroom candle.

I'm very. I'm very worried about it being messy.

It's not messy. It turns into. We're talking about the Jimmy Jane candle that we love. It's a massage candle that you can buy at Jimmy Jane and.

And it is turned. You pour it on your body. It is not messy. It doesn't flake off like wax. It turns directly into massage oil slash lotion. And it smells really good and doesn't drip. And it's not messy. I swear to God. All right, you anal freak.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. How are you? Did you have A good weekend. Good long weekend.

No. Yeah. You kind of noticed I was acting a little bit weird. I had a co worker pass away suddenly of nowhere. Like, I was talking to her in her office Thursday, and then Friday.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, she passed away.

And how old is she?

She was 45.

Heart attack.

Heart attack? Yeah.

Oh, my God.

So we all went out on Saturday and got really, really hammered.

Really, really bad.

And you know that I've been complaining about my. My upstairs neighbor.

Yeah.

And I was like. So, like, Saturday I get home and I'm, like, really wasted, and I'm upset, and the guy is just making so much noise. So I ended up.

Oh, no. Did you piss on his door?

No, I. I would. I would have done that. It was better what I did, but I. I got on top of my bed, and then I just, like, hit the ceiling a couple times.

Oh, smart.

Then I woke up the next day, and I realized that I punched through my entire ceiling. So now I'm pissed because I'm so anal about, like, everything perfect. Now it's just, like, I look up and there's, like, a hole, and I'm like, great. I can't fix the hole because then the. If I fix the hole, then the. It throws off the color because the paint is older. Like, I can't have to, like, repaint the freaking entire house.

Right. Right. You could do the ceiling a different. My ceiling's different color than my walls.

It's very.

Oh, honey, that's annoying. I'm sorry. That sounds awful. I'm sorry about your friend.

Yeah, it was. Yeah, it's really bad. It's. I mean, she's been with our company for over 14 years.

Do I know her? I'll ask you after.

But.

You might have met her, but you probably. You don't remember anybody.

I did. God damn it. We were talking about that this weekend. My friend was like, do you still not remember anybody? I just have a problem remembering men's names and faces.

Men's names.

I don't remember faces or names.

No.

People are always like, I don't remember names. I remember faces. Or, I remember names and not faces. I remember name her for a while.

Like, when you would come into my work, when we were record there, you would see the same person and they go. You were like, have I met that person before? I go, of course you have. I know she's at the door every single time. But the best one was when there was this guy that would help us out with the podcast, like, every week. Every week. And Then some other guy walks in and he talked to him like, he's the other guy.

I know. I was like, you lost a lot of weight.

And I was like. And he's like, uh, not really.

I know. That was really bad.

It was so embarrassing.

I'm not proud. I don't know what that says about me, but. And it's not that I'm like, aloof or I don't care. I just really. I don't know, My brain just sort of wipes it out. I got a lot going on in my brain, and so it doesn't retain things like faces or names.

I think I do forget.

People entirely after a couple years of not contacting them. Like, I forget, like, all the memories that we had together, our experiences that we shared together. I wipe them clean. Like, I don't.

I wish. There's an app for your brain.

Yeah.

To identify faces and names like they do on iphoto, you know, it's like, this is your face. And I wish they could do that in my brain.

Yeah.

I don't have that.

And so bad. Because you run into them on the street. I'm like, how do I know this person?

What you do is you just say when you're introduced, like, I went to a party on Saturday night and you say, nice to see you, instead of nice to meet you. And then you just. Because I find whenever I say, nice to meet you, like, we've met eight times. And then they get mad, so I just say, nice to see you. And then if I haven't met them, then they're like, nice to meet you. I'm like, oh, nice to meet you too. Yeah, that's a lot better. That's. That's just a much more effective way of getting out of it. And then I don't get in trouble anymore, so just nice to see you. So I went to a. I had to. I did my 45 minute keynote speech at a singles convention in my hometown, California. We talked about. Tiana went with me, Intern Tiana. And we were like, oh, my God, Mendes. We should call him. Like, I was know. And it felt good to be in your hometown. I'd never been there. We just went to the Hilton. Do you know the Hilton?

Yes, I do.

Right off the highway.

I spent some time there.

Like your prom or something?

Proms, Yeah, I did spend a prom there.

Okay, good. Yeah, it was fun. So it was. There was probably about. So, okay. It's a singles convention that they hold like once every three months. And it was from people around that area. So that's like southern south of here. South Bay.

East Bay.

East Bay. Sorry, East Bay. But I took one on one.

South.

Whatever. It's confusing. The baby's closed. Okay, but. Right, so it's singles convention and what? My thesis of the cause. 45 minutes, dude. It was like pressure. Yeah, I mean, I know you said you wouldn't want to hear me talk for 45 minutes. Which you do every day, which makes me believe that you do.

Yeah, but at least I can interject, like sitting back and listen to you talk for 45 minutes.

Holy s. Well, there's about 50 people there at the start. What happens is there's a keynote speech every time. And then there's a singles dance party from like. So I got there, I spoke from 7:30 to 8:15. And then there's like a singles dance party from 8:30 to midnight. So it gets full throughout the night. So people skip the keynote. But there's probably about 50 people there for the keynote.

Yeah.

And I talked about sex. Well, my thesis of it was that you can have great sex as a single person. A lot of people think that you have to wait until you're committed or in a relationship or in marriage and that's when the great sex starts. And so I talked about having great sex as a single person and things that you do. And I actually read some emails from listeners and I just talked about, you know, online dating and had some good questions from the audience. And so one guy got pissed off because I was talking about porn and that porn can be a really good tool for couples to use together. Like a lot of men hide their porn watching habits and they do it alone in the basement, like, you know, dusty bait, whatever. And that couples can. And couples can really benefit from porn because you can watch it together. You can find couples porn. You can find. Actually a great place to go is Good Vibrations. We love Good Vibrations. If you go to goodvibes.com they've got porn separated, like porn for couples, porn for men, porn for women. And you can find porn that's actually good for everyone. And if you use GV Emily 15, you get 15% off any. Anything from good vibes. So this one guy's like, raises his hand and he's like, porn is evil and it's bad. And I can show you studies from doctors. So there are some people who think that of course it was a guy.

Would take that guy's man card.

Right, exactly. But it is true, of course. And I talked about the difference between porn addiction, you Know if you know you're addicted to porn, if it's like, wreaking havoc on your life, if you, like, can't go to work and you lose your relationship and all that stuff. But I thought it was. It went well. The guy told me, I emailed him. The guy runs it, and I was like, I hope he forwarded me an email from someone who said they enjoyed my keynote. And of course I wanted more feedback for my ego. And I said, hopefully you thought it was good. And he's like, yeah, well, no one walked out. He said, most times I can tell if it's a bad keynote if people walk out. And he's like, no one walked out.

Wow, that's cool.

Yeah. And I sold copies of my book hot sex, over 200 things you can try tonight, you can buy it on Amazon. And so I sold all the copies that I brought. But the only downside was afterwards I was sitting signing books and I got hit on by a few men who were all over the age of probably 60. Yeah, 65. And it was awkward.

They have life experience. They've let you turn them down.

I'm not turning them down, but I did turn them down. And I said I was seeing someone, but Tiana was looking at me and she's like, this is gonna keep happening if we don't leave.

Yeah, well, you're out of singles.

But there was guys my age and stuff. Like, they weren't hitting on me, just the old guy. I don't know what I said. Some girls up there talking about sex for 45min. But it was fun. And it was fun to be in Newark. We thought about you the whole time.

The nwk.

The nwk Newark, California. And it wasn't that far. It was like an hour. Not bad traffic, so. And then I did some television watching over the weekend. You'll be happy to know I'm really into my TV now. I didn't have TV for a really long time and now I've got the television eons, eons. And I watched the new Bethany Ever after last night on Bravo.

Yeah, I didn't watch the new one, but I watched. They ran some reruns and it was really cool. I enjoyed the reruns because I. The episodes that I was watching was actually her doing, like, what you just did over the weekend. It was her traveling around to different cities and they were really good because she talked about her life and growing up and everything like that with her family and being a businesswoman and her current life and dealing with that and I thought that stuff was very interesting.

I thought that stuff was really. Actually saw those as well. When she saw the Skinny Girl, she's. We're talking about Bethany Frankel from Real House. She started on Real Housewives of New York and then she got us her own spin off show and she started this company called Skinny Girl Margarita or just Skinny Girl. And she ended up selling it to Jim Beam for 124 million.

Yeah.

So you think she'd be a little happier, but the episode last night, it just seemed a little. She seemed a little whiny and uptight, to be honest.

Why?

Because she was like complaining. Well, okay, it's interesting. I shouldn't say that. And I was also watching it with a male friend who. That was his interpretation. So you know when you watch something with someone else and they have their own opinions. So I think that sort of impacted because I find her, I like her, she's likeable, but her whole life she's like, I couldn't pay the rent and now I just made $124 million. And. But she was just stressed because she's a celebrity now and she's like, I don't know how to act like a celebrity. I don't know all the rules. But it's basically about their second year of marriage because everyone, if they've been following it, they watched that she like had this whirlwind romance where she got pregnant and then she got married and now they're like, second year marriage. And she keeps, they keep playing that rerun a quote of her saying, my husband's penis has cobwebs on it. So second year marriage already got cobwebs on it. And I hope that, that, that's like my biggest fear, that I'm dating a guy and he's like, my penis has cobwebs on it. Like, if that ever happens to me, like, shoot me. But that happens. They have a baby too. I guess when you have kids, it's hard to have sex.

Yeah. Did they. Had she changed her lifestyle at all?

Yeah, they just bought like a multi million dollar, like house in New York. Apartment. They call it an apartment, but it was a massive apartment in New York. It must be millions of dollars because it's New York. And they were talking with that. She's like, I want to spend the money now. Like they were trying to buy a place and took forever. And like Lisa Lampanelli was in it because they have a lunch together. So there's more like high profile, like celebrities on the show. I Mean, it was good. I mean, she's really entertaining and acerbic and funny.

Yeah, I really liked the episode where she finally landed the deal and she's like, look, I. We don't. We never celebrate when we always say we're gonna celebrate, but once the, the ink is dry, we are going on a yacht and skinny girl margarita is going to be coming out of the faucets.

Right?

Yeah, it was. It was really funny.

Yeah, it was good. You should watch it. So I'm into TV and I saw the movie Moneyball. Have you seen that with Brad Pitt?

No, I watched Chronicle over the weekend.

Oh, what's that?

It's about kids that get exposed to.

Porn or. No, to like nuclear or something and now they have superpowers. It's actually pretty good.

Well, I watched it because Moneyball is nominated for Academy Awards. So I try to like, at least Academy Awards are coming up. So I was like, okay, well, what's available on Netflix? And then I watch Moneyball with Brad Pitt. First of all, I don't love Brad Pitt. Am I the only woman in the world who doesn't love Brad Pitt?

Sorry. I did watch Moneyball.

I always forget that baseball.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about the A's here.

Yeah, the Oakland A's. So that's. I like that. It was about Oakland A's and it was about baseball and how he took on this new. This way of thinking. Way of thinking about baseball. And, you know, luckily they didn't show too much baseball because I would turn it off because I'm not into sports. But I don't think he's so. I don't think he. I don't think he's so great. I mean, he's talented, but I don't think he's like uber talented. He's good looking, but I didn't think he should win an Academy Award for it. That's how I feel.

Yeah.

This is Sex with. This is Movie Review with Emily.

Yeah. It didn't like, really blow me away, but I was really interested because of the local factor. But maybe if I was, you know, living in Wichita, Kansas, I wouldn't care about it that much.

Right. But I think if you're also, if you're a baseball fan. Yeah, it'd be good. So that's. I did. Okay. So here's our poll. Our la.

Our poll.

The results from our latest poll was if you had a fetish, what would it be?

11% would like golden showers. Okay. Well, three. Only 3% wanted furries.

You left golden showers in there.

Yeah. 3% wanted. So I'm gonna start from the bottom. So the least amount of people wanted furries, which is when you dress up like a fur animal, like Menace does all the time. 11% golden showers. That would be their fetish of being urinated on, which is surprising that that beat out furries. 9% said feet, 31% wanted submission and domination, and a whopping 46% voyeurism, exhibitionism. So everyone wants to get naked or watch people getting naked? 46%.

Isn't voyeurism like when they go have sex in other places?

Like, yeah, that's more so. Exhibitionism is when you're. When you are having sex in public. And voyeurism is when you like to watch other people have sex. So that's 46% of our listeners would like to be watched or watched.

I'm sure you've done that many times.

I haven't. I haven't had sex.

No. Seen people have sex.

Yes, I have. Like, I've been on a porn set and I've been to sex parties where people are having sex and all over.

And giving each other fellatio.

Fellatio? Yeah. Remember, I've told you the stories that when I sex party, I looked over, I'm like, oh, it seems like a normal party, except for she's going down and I'm at the left and to the right, there's a bunch of naked women in the hot tub. And you know, it's good times. Our new poll.

Yeah.

How do you take care of your hair down there?

How do you.

Our choices are. Your choices are au naturale, trimmed and tasteful, boldly bald, pubic pattern, like a landing strip, et cetera.

Our weight.

People do that. Those are our choices. And yeah, that's what we got. And then we've got some sex in the news.

That's good.

Yeah, that is good. What do you prefer? We're gonna get into grooming. Today's show is all about grooming, which is one of my favorite topics. Probably because Menace got waxed on it five years ago when we did this topic. Yeah, I made him get a wax by never again.

No, I mean, I like no hair.

Never say never. You like woman with no hair. How about if it's stubbly, but it's no hair, but it's a little stubby. Like, do you want clean? Do you care?

I don't really care, but I don't want any hair.

You don't want to see? Not even like a landing strip or A triangle.

Not really into it.

Nothing. Okay.

Nothing. But it's funny because I was talking with my buddies the other day and apparently a friend of theirs wife refuses to trim down there and. And it. He finds it very upsetting.

Wow.

And they were making fun of him for it too. Like, oh, what a pig. There was like, there's a lot of people that are into it or the women that are against it. They're like, oh no, I'm not a. I'm not a 11 year old girl and stuff like that.

It looks. Prebuiscent preview best prebuison if you have no hair down there.

But a lot of men better is what it looks.

Well, in my sex school that I'm going to, we had to watch a bunch of 70s porn. And you realize the hair. Cause it's not just that you have a bushy area down there. It's like it expands out into like the thighs and it's. You can't believe the hair that went on. I mean, you know how they talk about people cut off their hair for like charity and stuff. You could have done a lot of like cutting, trimming of that hair and you could have like given it to like kids with cancer and stuff of all that.

Yeah.

You know, do you know people do that? They cut off their hair and they give it to charity. Cancer. At make wigs, you could make some serious wigs with the pubic hair going on down there. Like literally. It was hard to watch 70s porn for eroticism at all because you are just so distracted by the hair. It's not what we see anymore. It's not in vogue. It's not popular, but not into it. So I. Here's a personal story about my hair is that I got lasered. So I have. I didn't. But I didn't take it all off because I thought what if hair like comes back sometime and then you're not. What if the bush comes back and I can't have a bush?

The bush is never coming back.

Well, what if even a little hair comes back?

No.

So I left a little bit and then I can shave it. But I was like, I don't. I'm just. It seemed like such a commitment to commit to no hair. So I got like almost the hair gone.

It's dangerous.

Glad you know that now. That's very personal. I just shared that. So we're gonna get into that more later because it's one of my favorite topics. I don't know why, I just think it's topical and care people Never. And a lot of men, we're gonna talk about manscaping because a lot of men just don't know what to do. They're like, confused. Chest hair. No chest hair.

Trim.

Don't trim. Wax the balls. What do you do?

Yeah, you need a trim. Guys can. A little bit of hair, though.

Oh, one needs to. A man needs to trim.

Yeah. They. They can't be going crazy with it. What do you think, though?

I. You know what? I really don't care. It's nice. That trim is nice, but if there's no hair, that would freak me out.

Yeah.

Like, I don't want a guy with nothing. Like, he spent all that time. But trimming is nice. I guess. I can't really tell. I mean, I was with one guy in the last few years who didn't do anything, and that was clear. It was like matted hair. It was kind of gross. Yeah. But I don't really care.

We're getting too much into it right now.

We'll get into it later. New program allows teens to get free condoms online. A new program in California is allowing teenagers to get free condoms online. The site is teensource.org it launched last week and sends teenagers who register a free package of condoms, lubricant, and educational pamphlets sent to their home. Now, kids, that's interesting. It's teensource.org if you're young or even if you're older, I guess you could do it. But if you're a teenager, you might not want that sent to your home. That could be a problem. Like, your parents are like, what's this package? Don't like parents open your mail when you're a kid? Yeah, but it's a good. It's a really good program.

Yeah, they're gonna get them either way. I don't see why parents would be against it. I mean, obviously they don't want their kids to be having sex, but if they're gonna have sex, they gotta have sex, right?

You'd rather have them do that than have a 16 and pregnant?

Yeah. Because not all kids get on 16 and pregnant. I'm sorry to break it to you exactly.

I actually saw that Jamie Lynn Spears about. Because she got pregnant when she was 16, I guess. Remember?

Yeah. Really young.

Yeah. And she was like, it was amazing to watch this show because I felt like she wasn't alone. Don't get pregnant.

Whatever, bitch. You got millions of dollars. These girls are a bunch of white trash.

Does she have millions? Why? Her sister does. But why does she have millions well.

Her sister takes care of her, and she was doing well off, too, when she got pregnant. Anyways, she had a very popular show on Nickelodeon. Oh, she was making decent money.

That's good.

She wasn't working at the Super Saver, Right, right, Exactly.

That's true.

The Regal Beagle, right?

The Regal Beagle, yeah. That's from Three's Company.

Yeah.

How do you remember that? Did you watch Three's Company?

Yeah, I did.

I love the Regal Beagle. That's a joke that my friends and I always make because my friend has a couch that looks like it should be in the Regal Beagle. I'm like, that's from the Regal Beagle, which was the bar they hung out in Three's Company. If you saw that in the seventies. Okay. Khloe Kardashian and Lamar break their sex swing on the first try.

I know. I watched it.

Did you watch it? Was it funny? I don't like the Kardashians. I'm sorry. I've been watching them. Don't like them. But did you.

This is not. This is.

Whatever. She's a Kardashian.

Yeah. It's pretty hilarious because she tries to install a sex swing herself. She didn't have it professionally done.

That's the problem.

And then so she gets on and she's swinging, but then her. Her man Lamar, she's like, what, six, ten or something?

Yeah.

So he gets, like, on it and then it breaks. It's hilarious.

Is it funny to watch?

Yeah, it's funny.

Sounds slapstick to me. Okay. After her brother Rob moved out of their Dallas home, and her beau Lamar Odom have made a strong. Some might say too strong effort to spice up their love life. In a quest to turn Rob's old room into a sexual chamber of love, the couple purchased a sex wing, but after failing to instill it properly, required an awkward visit from a handyman.

Yeah, well, what happened was, you know, her brother moved out. He has a best friend that's lived with him for a very long time. He's out. So now it's just them. And the thing is, now it's just them. Like, Chloe's, like, getting crazy freaky, and I think it's like, him, he's kind of, like, backing off because, you know, as a guy, guys want freaky girls, but to be always pursued all the time.

Right.

That's what he was saying on the show.

He's like, oh, she's, like, grabbing at him. Yeah, yeah.

Kind of just. He's kind of just like, hey, we got to. We can have a good time just hanging out.

Right.

Just sitting together, enjoying each other's company. And he. He's saying every time they get around, she's, like, always trying to hop on his wiener.

Right.

He's like, I want to have some time.

Yeah.

You know.

Right.

Enjoy each other.

But a lot of guys would be into a girl who's a woman who's constantly.

You would think. But sometimes, you know, guys get worn out.

It's all about balance.

Yeah.

Because one of the biggest complaints I hear from men is that their partner doesn't initiate sex enough.

Yeah. So then you get one that's initiating sex.

Joins. Did they have a stripper pole in their house, too?

I think so. Yeah.

Of course. And so, yeah, the sex swing is a. Is a popular thing that people get. I remember once someone wanted to send me one. I'm like, I don't think I want one.

I don't even see how it worked the way that she had it installed. I don't understand.

It looks like a swing right from.

The ceiling, but it was way over the bed in case you fall.

It's like a safety net.

I don't know. Like, I thought the sex swing would be, like, somewhere outside.

Right.

Like, in the corner of your room.

Right.

Because, like, then you could stand, and then the other person would be on the swing.

Right, Right.

But this was, like, hanging over the bed.

Yeah. I don't get it either.

I don't understand how it would work.

I don't either. I mean, I've never used one, and I should know this, but the sex swing is a popular thing. Okay. Jessica Biel shows her engagement ring. Just, you know, sex in the news here.

Well, they said that she might be pregnant, too.

Wow. More than a month since news. More than a month since the news broke of her engagement. Justin Timberlake. She was spotted wearing what appeared to be an engagement ring. What? Yeah. They're. They're engaged, Right. Why is that even. You know?

I don't know why he's even hiding it. He was on Saturday Night Live. Hilarious.

I heard about this. He was so Justin Timberlake. What did he do?

He was making fun of hipsters with their Bonavir.

Okay.

Bonneville. Is that how you say Bonavir?

I don't know.

Bonaver.

Bonaver.

Bonaver. Whatever.

I don't know what it is.

It's some artists, like, a totally hipster artist that won Best New Artist at the Grammys, and now he pretended to be that guy.

But it's like, really Bon Iver means good boniver. Bon iver.

I don't know.

I don't know. Is it French? Like good winter. That's what it would mean.

I don't know. But like, he was pretending to be this guy, but the music that this guy puts out is like. Puts you to sleep.

Is it as funny as Dick in the Box?

Yeah, it was pretty funny.

That was funny. The dick in the box. Okay. Coco Austin undergoes on air examination to prove her buns are real.

Dude, Kim Kardashian did the same thing.

She did?

Yeah.

Okay, so Coco, wife of Ice T and reality star, appeared on the doctor's TV show on Monday to undergo an ultrasound examination to prove her bottom is all her own. She's seen lying down with her derriere on the air as Dr. Ordon uses the machine to inspect her backside. Ordon points out areas of subcutaneous tissue and fat, and he also points out Coco's glute muscles, ultimately concluding that her butt is 100% real. Who the f cares? I guess if you're into her reality show.

Well, yeah. I mean, people that have butts like that, no one believes that they're actually real.

But can you get. I guess you can get butt implantments or butt implantments. I think you can buttocks implantment. But why would you want a bigger butt?

Why would you want.

Most women don't want big butts.

Some women are really into it.

Like, big butts.

Some guys are really into it also.

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah.

Okay. German teen sues a TV show that revealed that her parents were swingers. I'd be bummed.

What?

Yeah. So the couple forgot to pixelate the couple's faces. I guess they were supposed to pixelate it.

Yeah.

The family took the company to court for damages, but the case was thrown out due to their underage daughter having to testify, something that the judge felt would be inappropriate. He did make the company pay for their legal fees. That would be mortifying. Right? If you're a young kid and you see that you go to school the next day and all your friends are like your parents are swingers. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't like that.

No, that wouldn't be cool. Because people wouldn't understand it at a young age like that.

Exactly. Okay, this email I got, we're gonna go move into emails.

Okay?

Okay. Down with sex in the news emails. Thanks, everyone for emailing me@feedbackexwithemily.com we love hearing from you. And this email made me so happy. I got it this weekend. Okay. Dear Emily, Just want to say thanks. I had a baby in October and was doing my exercises. She's talking about her Kegel exercises just about daily while nursing my daughter at my six week appointment, the doc told me that my muscles were really lax and that I needed to exercise them. I couldn't run on the treadmill. Sometimes it hurt to walk long distances and I thought my stuff was falling out like her vaginal stuff. It even hurt to do the deed. I felt incomplete and broken. After three weeks and a few days into level four, I have an app called Kegel Camp which helps women and men do their Kegel exercises. After three weeks and a few days into level four, I've noticed a difference. I can jump, bounce around with my daughter, I can walk without discomfort and I'm almost back to normal. It wasn't that I wasn't doing the exercises. It wasn't that I was doing the exercises incorrectly as much as I wasn't doing them as often and I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. The app allows me to zone out and watch the screen go from red to blue and I don't have to count or think, just do. Thanks. It's very cool. From Annie.

People are loving that app, man.

I know.

And then you always leave out the best part. Your voice guides them through.

My voice guides you through the app. And so I'll just tell you real quickly what the Kegel exercises are for. They're for men and women and it helps men. So if you're listening and you have premature ejaculation, you have a hard time staying hard. There's truly exercises that like if you didn't email me and you went to your doctor today, he would tell you to do Kegel exercises. And women if you can have longer, stronger orgasms. And my app helps you do the exercises and you can do them anywhere and take you five minutes a day and change your sex life. So Kegel camp is the app in the itunes store.

Download it.

Download it now. Okay. Dear Emily, with all your movies you have seen in the adult or semi porn area, what is the best one that has stripping and or lap dance scenes? I want my wife to see them so she can practice. This is from Kevin. He's a premium friends with benefits member. Did anything come to your mind?

No. Oh, maybe Showgirls.

Showgirls is on my list.

Oh really?

Yeah. That was the first one that I thought of too. The movie Showgirls is one of the only movies known to have a full nude lap dance. In the movie Elizabeth Berkley gives a man a full nude lap dance while working as an entertainer. Yeah, so that's one of them. There's one called Striptease with Demi Moore. That was. Do you remember that one? She plays a stripper. Came out like in the 90s, I think.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Honey with Jessica Alba. So just pick which celebrity you're hot for.

No, don't watch Honey.

Okay. It's a bad one, but that's what they say. Domino. Keira Knightley gives an amazing lap dance with many viewers. And then Players Club.

Players Club, do you know it? Yeah.

The movie the Players Club takes place in a strip club. And the beautiful Lisa Rae, among others, get naked a few times. Death Proof, the laugh dance done by Vanessa Ferlito in the movie Death Proof is the best dare that was ever carried out by a woman with great lips. I wonder which lips he's talking about. The lap dance in the movie is carried out because it's a dare and she's an amateur lap dance. It looks pro. Then there's lap dancing. There's a movie called Lap Dancing with a Playboy model in it. And then zombie strippers. These are the ones that I found is the best.

Oh, zombie strippers. I know that one.

And then from Dusk Till Dawn, Salma Hayek.

Yeah.

Have you seen that?

Yeah.

And then Sin City with Jessica Alba again, Jessica Alba makes. She makes two of these. She makes two of the top 10. So I found a list of the top 10 best. So that's Players Club, Death Proof, Domino Honey, Lap Dancing, Showgirls, Zombie strippers, Striptease from Dust Till dawn, and Sin City.

There's one porno that I want to see.

What?

It's pirates. Oh, it's the. It's the porno that has the highest budget in history of. Had a million dollar budget or something like that.

Really? I wonder if it's on my Fire TV porn box.

I wonder if it's any good. I know I want to see it.

But he was asking like. And I don't know, like which porn. It's hard to find it in porn, but I think that these movies might even be more. And there also are instructional videos that you can buy that teach you how to give a lap dance.

Oh, do you know what you could. You should check MrSkin.com. Mr. Skin, probably.

Oh yeah, Mr. Skin. Do you know he's a. He's a. He's a friend of mine and he's really. I should talk about this. Cause he'll be on the show. I Know his wife forever.

Really?

In Chicago.

How come you never tell me this?

We never talked about it. But Mr. Skinn, he's like, you know, world renowned because he. What does he do? He highlights all the sex scenes in movies.

Yeah. And like, oh, if you fast forward to this time, you'll see boobs or something like that. I've actually, I've never been to the website, but it was brought up in a movie.

In a movie?

Yeah. What was it?

Damn. Where her boyfriend. Oh, with Katherine Hagel?

Yeah. What is it? Knocked up?

Yeah, knocked up. He. That's what he does. He pretends he's Mr. Skin and starts that. You're right. That's so funny. Anyway, Mr. Skin, we can get him on the show. Let's move into our topic.

What do you got from.

It's my favorite topic. One of them. I got a lot of favorites, but it's grooming, because this comes up a lot. People don't.

It's not on my balls, though.

Not on your balls? You trimmed?

Yeah.

Have you ever cut yourself?

Yes, but not badly.

Okay, what do you. Okay, let's just talk about you. What do you trim with?

Actual scissors? Actual shavers.

Oh, shavers.

Yeah.

And you've caught your balls.

Yeah. It catches a little bit of skin, but nothing terrible.

Ouch.

It's better than that effing bikini wax. Bikini wax you made me get. It was terrible because the hair just didn't grow back right. It was all crazy all over the place.

Yeah, that happens. But.

Oh, thanks for telling me after.

Well, there is lotions that you can use to get away the bumps. Didn't she give you a lotion?

Yeah, it didn't work.

So here's a story. Five years. We should find this show and repost it.

No.

About five years ago, Madisyn and I were doing a live show on a radio station and we were doing a show on grooming. And I had this woman come to town. Woman come in the studio, and she's actually a friend of mine. I got my first Brazilian bikini wax from her probably about, you know, 10, 15 years ago. It was the first time. And she was like, renowned in San Francisco for giving these, like, amazing bikini waxes, but she also manscaped for men. And I was like. I asked her and I said, why? I'm trying to think of her name right now. Just escape me. I said, why the hell do women have to go through all this pain? Like, why do we have to do it? And she says, honey, if you want to sell the house, you Gotta mow the lawn. And I thought that was the funniest thing. I'm like, you gotta come on the show. So anyway, we had her come into the studio and we had her wax menace to see if he could handle the pain.

I could handle the pain. But just the way it grew back was terrible.

We have a video of it too that we're post, but you can't tell that it's you.

Oh.

Because you wouldn't let me at the time. But I still have the footage. I could bribe you with it.

Could you?

I could. So anyway, as you know, this is controversy. I mean, it's changed over the years and I just, you know, also I want to know what your views are on that. Like, what do you prefer? So email me feedbackextwithelmy.com, i think it's infinitely interesting. So female grooming, just a little bit history. Its public shaving originated in ancient Egypt and Greece when prostitutes had to shave for hygienic reasons as a clear sign of their profession. So you'd know who was in the biz if they had no hair down there. So Anyone who has seen 70s porn knows that the standard has certainly changed over the years. But then in the 1980s and the spread of small bikinis, a thick bush was not off putting. These days in the world of pornography, shaved is the name of the game. So would you say that most of the porn that you don't watch, pornography. Yeah, but it is all shaven or they need a little landing strip. It seems that these days there are more men that prefer no hair than the bush. They don't want the bush. But some men like a little bit of hair.

I have never met a bush guy.

Right.

Oh, man, I love me some hairy bush.

I know. Maybe old men's not happening. I don't know. I've never been with a man like that either. But it can be painful for women to do because you get ingrown hairs. And also for some of the negative, it makes you feel like a little girl. But it's like, why do men want to see women look like 11 year olds? If you're sleeping with a 30 year.

That's not what it is, It's.

What is it then?

It's visual, though. It's a visual thing.

Well, if you want a guy to go down on you, he doesn't want a bunch of hair up in his mouth.

But if it's a landing strip, you're not gonna get that hair in your mouth.

A landing strip's okay.

Okay.

But, you know, if you got some. This werewolf down there, like, that's not attractive.

I guess this is something you should talk about with your partner. What they prefer, what they don't prefer. Because women, you might be with a guy who's like, I don't care if.

I have a girl that, like, fights me on that. That's definitely not the girlfriend.

That's the last time you're with her.

Yeah, that's the last time we're gonna have a girlfriend.

Right. You're like, bye. Bye. So there's. It's easier to perform oral sex without all the hair on the way. That is one of the benefits. And you could probably just be making neat and trim and tidy. And it's easier to perform oral sex as well. So some alternatives to being completely shaved. These are. These are what women do if they don't get completely shaved. Do the landing strip, which is shaving. Landing strip. But it's shaving all the pubic hair except the one strip down the center. There's the triangle, AKA Dorito, shaving. All but a triangle of hair with the tip pointing downwards.

Okay.

Do you care? Both those are the same for you?

Yes.

Okay. And then there's also. What do they call it? The Hitler mustache.

Oh, yeah. But I. I don't know what it's called, though.

They call it the Hitler mustache.

They do?

I think so. But women do this little thing and.

Yeah, but no, I don't know any women that do that.

Yeah. You might as well just get it off. Right. If you're gonna do that, you might as well just trim the whole thing. It's easier. Sure. Okay. So for men, these are some do's and don'ts. We've got some do's and don'ts for men. So do trim your armpit hair. What do you think about that? These are some recommendations. Yeah. Do you ever trim your armpit hair?

No, I'm not really that hairy. I'm not a hairy guy.

But if you're super hairy, you might want to. Grooming chest hair. I think this is controversial. I think some women really prefer. I like. I don't mind if a guy has a hairy chest at all, but some.

Girls are really into it.

I think my interns, one of them was like, I want no hair. Nowhere thinning. You can thin it out. And some women like no hair.

Yeah.

So I think that's like kind of like in the gay community maybe, too. Seems like more gay men and nose hair. No hair. No.

There's that whole bear community. That love hairy guys, Right?

That's true.

Big, burly hairy guys.

That's true.

That don't wear deodorant, which is kind of gross.

They all go to my gym, so I spend the night every morning on the Stairmesh next to them.

You work out at a bear den?

Yeah, I do. I work out at a bear den. I work out at the gays place. It's literally the place that I work out, I always say, is the gayest place in the world because it's in the Castro district of San Francisco, which is like a gay mecca, and it's the Gold's Gym in the Castro. So wouldn't you say it's the gayest place on earth? The gym? I think one of them. One of them. Okay, you can. You can argue me if you can find.

Even your neighborhood's kind of gay.

My neighborhood's kind of gay.

I was hanging out with some gay guys in your neighborhood Saturday night in Noe Valley. Yeah. I didn't realize I was in Noe Valley until I left.

Because you were wasted.

Yeah.

That's great. Sorry I missed you. So you can go Brazilian or bear everywhere. It's a manzillion. The only men you should ever consider going completely hairless are competitive bikers or swimmers. If it's not done for the purpose or increased speed. It's kind of weird. Men who shave their legs and shave everything, like, no hair.

Oh, I know some guys like that.

That's weird.

They just don't like being hairy.

Yeah, I don't like it. I'm like, really? You shave? I don't even want to see it. Like, it's not hot either. Like to think of it shaving, you know, Know, do get rid of shoulder and back hair.

Yeah, but how do you know?

Someone's got to. Someone's got to tell you that it's been called a back. Have you ever heard that?

No.

I had a friend who called it that. He's like, I'm getting rid of my back. You can get lasered.

Some girls are, like, kind of a little bit hairy on their lower back, and they don't even know it.

Yeah, you should tell them, like, hey, by the way, maybe you should tweet them or something.

Hey, ladies, look in the mirror. You might have a hairy lower back.

Right? Exactly. Most women agree that hair on your back or shoulders is unsightly at best. Do your favor to get. Do yourself a favor and get rid of all the hair back there. So you can easily, if you're a man who does have back hair and you don't know what to do. And you obviously can't shave it. You can go into any of those nail salons. They have, they have waxers who can go in. You could Wax. It takes 10 bucks, 10 minutes. And you can get rid of all of it. Or you can do laser, which is expensive, laser hair removal. It's permanent. You never have to worry about it again. But it's totally worth it.

For the longest time I would see these old men that would have hair growing out of a mole. Like a really, really long hair.

Their wife died, right. Never tells them. How did they not know?

No, that's what I was thinking too. I'm like, how do you not see that long ass piece of hair hanging out of the mole?

Bad eyesight.

And apparently what I've heard now that in some cultures it's good luck. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't care.

I've kind of heard that before too. That it's sort of a cultural thing. Yeah.

And if I. I don't care if I had the longest hair coming out of my mole. It's getting ripped out.

Yeah. Talking about that makes me squeamish and not want to eat lunch.

It's funny because you talk to them and some of them are. Some of the guys are like, dressed like perfectly normal. You would think some, some are like, that would have, that are kind of bummy. But they're men in like business suits. And I'm like, do you not see that long ass piece of hair hanging out of your face? Rip it out.

That is. Ouch. Yeah, that's gross. So, yeah, rip it out. Rip out the mole hair. I think that goes without saying, but okay, so keep it, you know, just keep it trimmed down there. So here's some pubic hairstyles for men.

I feel hairy right now.

Oh, you just. I thought I had something on my face. You do feel hairy. Making you want to go shave. So there's the cockhock.

The what?

The cock hawk. It's a landing strip for men. Shave all the hair except for a thick strip down the center. There's the flame Hawk. Shaved all hair except a strip using gel to form spikes. Okay, don't do this, guys. The boss hog shaving only a small strip down the middle and leaving hair on each side. Please just don't do anything like this. These are some styles that are out there. Just trim, trim.

If you're uncomfortable, braid it.

Ugh. So this is what Cosmo magazine and I thought we could have some fun with this. They say what your man's bush says about him. They've got some things. So if he's totally untamed, they say guys who don't trim their pubic hair falls into two camps. The first is the alpha male who thinks maintenance beyond shaving his face is gay. A guy who's. Or a guy who's traditional and chivalrous. But don't expect much from experimentation in bed beyond the missionary position. So they're saying if a guy's untamed, he's not good in bed or he's homophobic. I guess.

I think my bald hair is two toned. Like, it's light on the under.

Oh.

Like underside of the tessie satchel, but on the top.

Can we take a picture? Can I see? Yeah.

And be like, why is it. Why is it blonde down here? And then. And then dirty blonde on the top.

I have no idea.

I don't know.

Is it really. Were you blonde as a kid?

Yeah, I was really blonde as a kid. And then I have a red beard. I don't know what's going on with.

Do you have a red. Yeah, I guess you do.

It's like a ginger beard. I don't understand.

Wow.

Yeah. I don't know. Menace.

My pubic hair is like all different colors.

That's so cute.

I was exposed to radiation when I was.

That could be it. Okay, so then there's the. There is the enhanced. Okay.

Okay.

So. So totally in tame. That's what it says if they are tidied up. They say Cosmo says if you're in the market for a relationship, you've hit the jackpot with this man. This guy's the type who calls when he says he will. He knows what's expected of him and will be attentive without being over the top, sensitive. So I guess go with a tidied up man. What do you think?

What do you think?

I don't know. I think, you know, I. I honestly, I don't even pay that much attention. Like, I guess it's easier to perform oral sex than a guy who trims. Cause that one Matty guy I was with who's all matted down hair, I didn't want to go down there, to be honest.

Yeah.

But I think most guys do trim. But I don't know. I prefer a little trimming, but I actually don't care that much. It's not as big a deal to me as it is to men.

I think around women, I don't go totally bald.

But no, don't.

Just a little bit.

I don't want a guy who's totally bald. Okay. So then there's the enhanced package. A guy who shaves his testicles and the base of a chef, but not the hair around them. Them Maybe trying to make himself look bigger. Isn't that what you do? Isn't that what you said you did?

What?

Didn't you say you shave so you look bigger? Which suggests.

No, I said if you shave, you look bigger.

Right.

Not you obviously do it.

No. Right. Okay. A guy who shaves. Yeah. Okay. Which suggests. It says that. It suggests that he's insecure. If he shaves his testicles and the base of his shaft. He could be a high maintenance boyfriend who needs praise. But his self consciousness can benefit you in bed because he's always aiming to better his technique. I don't know. I think this is kind of stupid, but I just thought it'd be funny. And then there's completely bear. A man who's waxed or shaved so that he's hairless down there has a wild side. And he likely watches a lot of porn. So that's what your hair says. And then real quickly, I said I would mention this as anal bleaching.

Yeah. All right, explain to me how anal bleaching works. It just makes your butt hairs blonde, right?

Yeah.

Or just do your butt. Not even your whole. Okay. So using an acid lotion on your freshly waxed. So it's no hair. So you wax your anus, which actually when a woman gets. Let me just explain this to you. Oh, and the woman's name in San Francisco is Marilyn Yeager. J, A, E, G, G, E, R. If you want to go to her to get your Manzalian.

Whatever.

Okay. So basically you wax your anus, which actually doesn't hurt. That's what happens to the Brazilian or a Manzilian. So you use an acid lotion on your freshly waxed anus to lighten the coloration of your sphincter. The treatment at a SPA generally costs $100 to $200 and takes about 20 minutes. The spa then gives you a lotion or a gel to apply at home for up to eight weeks. So a lot of this comes from porn. A lot of gay men do this. And a lot of women do this because in porn it's like pink and pretty, but I guess as you get older, it gets more discolored.

Yeah.

And so a similar treatment is now being offered for vulva lightening, which is a bleaching at the opening of the vagina because some women have different color vulva. So why is this happening? People start getting it done when they're. Because porn stars. As Brazilian waxes grew in popularity, more and more women began noticing that their anuses were darker than the rest of their skin. By the way, this is totally common and normal. So I don't understand unless you're having like tons of anal sex and your guy said it. But I think this is stupid. It's all about porn. Porn's become more ubiquitous and women became more exposed to images of bleached buttholes. And it's also because anal sex is on the right eyes. Women are so concerned about how they look from behind. But the problem is if it's not performed right, which it probably won't be. And I would just steer clear of this. You get burning, irritation, and even scarring.

You have a risk of getting herpes if the spot isn't clean or a bacterial infection.

Yeah, that's way for the home kit.

It's not permanent. The darker pigmentation will always come back. And there's a chance of total depigmentation where it would be totally white. So be completely white. So that's why the anal bleaching. If you're concerned, a lot of people are into it. And then there's vagazzling. This is for the vagina. This is totally separate. We're off. Anal bleaching where women put rhinestones in their public area. Pubic area. And then men, they do pjazzling. That's what I got for you on grooming. You can do a pjazzler. You can.

It all comes down to you gotta. You gotta maintenance. You can't just let it roam free.

Yeah, exactly. Do a little something. And also talk to your partner. She might not care, he might not care. But it's something worth the discussing with your partner and with yourself. Whatever makes you feel good. If you. I think that. Let me just say, don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with. And don't learn from porn because porn should not be the. The place where you the. That dictates how you. You feel and what you want to do. I think that you should just do what makes you feel comfortable. Talk to your partner and trim. Okay, everyone. Thanks so much for listening to sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback.

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