SWE: Cheaters, Selfish Lovers & Fake Orgasms

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.

Do women know a shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and Everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com and listen to all of our podcasts. You can also find them on itunes or. Or podcast. One super awesome place to find podcasts or on Stitcher, people can download them and listen to a stitcher. It's an app. Put it on your iPhone. Smartphone. Listen to any podcast you want. I'm here. This is part of the San Francisco series. I am back in my homeland with Menace.

Yes.

Hi, Menace.

I love seeing you face to face.

It's amazing when we're doing a show. I know it's so fun.

I know it sounds a little bit better when we're together.

I'm so sorry to our listeners that the sound. Whatever. Some people don't notice as much. Maybe, but.

Yeah, no, but I'm just getting to see you face to face instead of trying to listen to you through headphones and do a show.

And my bad headphones that I. Yeah.

It'S a pain in the ass.

But I live in Los Angeles.

Yes, but we're here together and we're doing a show and we're gonna find ways to try to see each other face.

I think that's a really good plan rather than doing it in a janky way.

Yeah, it's very hood the way that we do it.

I know because Madison have been doing the show together for many years. This is your first sex family show. And so I've moved to Los Angeles recently. Temporarily. Temporarily. I have to get back here to the Bay, but. So we do it. We still do it, but it's. We're not in the same room. But in sound, sometimes my fault. Not as great. But you can still hear me and you can still. Your sex life will still improve from listening. So I'm sorry, but Menace is a sound snob as he should be, which is why I love him. I love him for many reasons. But I was just thinking about you, Menace, because you will be very proud of me. I did something very technical all on my own, but I. Okay, so this is gonna connect. I swear to God in some way. But I changed. I never thought I would do this, but like, I change my phone service. So there's this new service called Ting Tang. Go to emily.ting.com and you'll check it out. But basically it's this amazing plan that you can go on there and be like, how much money would I save if I went through Ting? And they. Cause we pay for so much stuff with our other carriers. So you go to ting.com, and you use their. They have this sales calculator that you can put in your. The current service that you're with. So I can put in. Whoever I'm with, they can access my account. It's a savings calculator. And it showed me how much money I'm saving. Like, 75 bucks a month from my old plan. And I always pay too much because I'm like, oh, what if I use too much data? And it doesn't charge you for what you don't use? And it rolls over into the next month. You have to be on the Sprint Network. But it's different because there's no overcharger penalties. You get credits on your service. So I said it rolls over and there's none of those mysterious things in your bill where they' charging you for stuff you don't use. Like, it just makes sense because they check it out every month and they tailor it and you just pay for what you use. It's amazing network. And I am buying new shoes. So I thought you'd appreciate that. That I decided that since I'm saving so much money every month, which is very significant savings, that I am going to spend it on shoes. And I'm just curious. So check out ting again. It's emily.tingting.ing.com. and I. I was like, yeah, whatever. But when you see how much money most people on the planet are wasting because they don't think to look at it, it'll save people money. So shoes.

I'm gonna buy some new shoes. But it's also on on the. Now you got me. Cause it's all right. It's on the Sprint Network.

It's on the Sprint Network. Right.

Which I. I'll disclose that I. I actually have stock in Sprint. This is the first time I've ever even.

You should do it to support menace.

Yeah, it's funny because, I mean, this is the first time of me hearing this. That's really cool because I'm actually friends with the people at Sprint, too. So I go to all their. Their launch stuff when they have, like, something new and, like, when they're building new towers. If you follow me on Instagram or on Twitter, you'll see me always talking about Sprint.

Because you love Sprint. You have always. But I never thought. Right, okay.

Yeah. Because I'm friends with them, so they take me out and they take me on top of buildings and, like, look at their new antennas, because that's how geeky I am.

You are such a geek. I love that. That's really cool.

But that's cool. I like it.

So it's awesome. So check that out. And then today's show, we're gonna be reading your emails that you sent to feedbackexwithemily.com because I just want to try to answer all of our listeners. We get so, so many emails from you. And I just want to keep, you know, improving everyone's sex life. We've got so many podcasts that you can listen to, and I love hearing from you. So feedbacks with emily.com. today's topics will include. Okay, I mean, this email, she's like, she wants to know if her boyfriend is a cheater or not. And this comes up a lot lately because people discover things. And I'm thinking if you got to ask, he probably is. But we're going to get into that in a minute. So do you think your boyfriend's cheater? This is a guy who emailed. He's got low confidence. He wants to know how we can help him. Low confidence with chicks. Give him some advice, which we are very good at doing. And also another woman, we had this in a podcast recently. She's sexually frustrated. She's open. She's independent. She wants to have great sex, but she also wants a good relationship and thinks that guys are only in it to bang her because she's open sexually and she can't get a guy to want to commit to her. So we'll talk about that. Women are more sexually. This reminds me of a conversation that I just had. So I was with a bunch of women last weekend in San Francisco. Napa. Napa, with all my girlfriends. And so we talked a lot about a lot of different things, but we talked about sex. And of course.

And it's interesting because pornography's been coming up a lot lately how, like, porn has changed the way that people, men and women, for different reasons, the way they look at sex, experience sex, how they learn about sex. Like, I'm hoping that a lot of guys and women listen to this show and they are learning about sex the right way because porn, well, it serves its purpose. It's not necessarily technically the best way for guys or women to learn about have sex because it's, like, made to look, you know, the actress in there is doing something to make, you know, it looks good visually. But it doesn't necessarily mean that when you're pounding at her like a jackhammer, that's really what your actual girlfriend wants or guy friend. So we were talking a lot about this, and I was like, you know, it's funny because it keeps coming up. Because I have a guy friend who. Tell me if you've noticed this with women. He's a little bit older, maybe he's like, 42, let's say. And he's dating a woman who's 25. And he said that she has sex like a porn star. Like, she. Her movements, the way she moans, the way she talks, the way she moves like that. He felt it was like a porn star thing, and that's how a lot of women are learning about sex, I think. Like, younger women, they just. And so then he felt he had to start watching more porn to kind of do the moves that she wanted back. So. And I've also heard it, like, vice versa, that a lot of guys, too, are, like, you know, expecting things from, like, anal sex or whatever. Things that they've seen in porn that they. Whatever. So do you find that women ever. You're like, oh, my God, she's not really being sincere. She's just trying to act like a.

Porn star while trying to do these.

Maneuvers, like, are you ever having sex with me? You're like, oh, she doesn't seem really into it. Like, I think it was interesting. Like, maybe it was just a generation.

Yeah, well, I'm kind of like.

Yeah, but the. The thing is with the. I don't think that in the actual sex act, it's, like trying to be. Trying to be sexy. Then don't. Don't try to be.

Don't try to be sexy, but don't.

Try to be sexy around me, because I'm just gonna laugh because I think it's funny.

And that's what a lot of women think.

I'm sorry. Because women don't get discouraged, because a lot of guys are gonna be thinking it's hot. For some reason, I just automatically start laughing when a woman tries to be sexy.

Like, explain to me that, like, what would she do that would make you think that she was faking her sexiness?

You know, like, trying to take her clothes off, like, slowly, like a sexy face and, you know, are, like, trying to moan. It's the moaning porn star.

Moaning.

Yeah, the fake. When, you know, it's like, I'm barely even touching you, and you're just, like, moaning like crazy right then. I think that's comedic, you know?

Right. So that's what they're saying. That people. And I just think that if you're learning about sex, you should just have other avenues. And if you're a woman, you need to figure out what makes you feel good and really focus on that. When you're having sex with someone, think, am I getting my needs met? Is he moving in the right place? Or she, whoever you're having sex with, can he move this differently? Do I need to touch myself to have an orgasm? Like, you know, communicate with your partner and don't learn everything. Everything you learn about sex, you should learn from my podcast. Not from. Or other places, but not from porn. That's right now there's anything wrong with porn, man.

I can't get on the Internet right now, but there's a movie coming out that's actually about. It's with Jordan Gore, Joseph Gordon Levitt, he's the guy from 500 Days of Summer.

Right.

Probably got that wrong. But he's an actor. Anyways, he. There's a movie and it's all about how he loves watching porn on the Internet.

I love it.

He's obsessed with it and. And his significant other finds out about it and then like they're arguing over.

Well, that's a whole nother thing with porn too, is that a lot of guys, you know, hide it from their partner or when the partner women find out about it, they feel very threatened by porn. They feel that it's because he doesn't think that I'm attractive or he needs something else. But I think that a lot of times men, what I've come to know is that men even think you're having the best acts of their life. That makes them want to serve perm. That makes them want to be watch porn more because they're so turned on. And it's just another outlet for men. It doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be with you and that he wishes that you looked like a porn star. It's just another release for men that can be completely innocent, innocuous or whatever. Like he just needs to get off. Women aren't the same. They feel threatened. I think a lot of young women too don't understand it. So I just think if he's got a healthy porn wi, even once a day is fine. If it's like a hundred times a day, we can talk. But issues with it.

And yes, what's funny also, like, they show in the trailer the movie. He, he. She's like, how. How can you watch that trash? And he goes, well, how do you. How do you watch that? Those trashy, you know, movies that you watch, talking about like chick flicks and stuff like that. She goes, they give award. They give away awards for those movies. And he goes, they give Away Awards for porn movies. You know they do. Yeah.

It's funny that you said that. Yes, Menace, because you know the porn awards. The AVN Awards.

Yes.

I am the keynote speaker this year in Las Vegas.

No way. How come you never tell me anything?

Because I haven't talked to you. I forget because we're talking about on the show. But yeah, if anyone's gonna be in Vegas in January, I will be the keynote speaker at the avn. What convention? Which is the same time of ces. Do you go?

Actually.

I'm planning on going to CES this year.

Oh, there you go. We're there at the same time. Muni Vegas, baby.

I'm gonna have to dip on over.

Dip on over, baby. I'll get you in. I got tickets.

Okay, the movie that I was talking about with Jordan Gore, get a shorter name. A hole.

I know.

It's called Don John. Don John. So look it up, people.

Okay, It's a movie that just came out.

No, it's about to come out.

Okay, I'm gonna go see movies.

A relationship dealing with a guy that loves porn.

Good. Okay, So I don't remember how he got on the porn topic, but that's just been on my mind lately. Because even when I'm hosting Loveline, which I do on Thursday Nights with Dr. Drew, you can check out lovelineshow.com. it's another podcast and live radio show. Uh, lots of women last week called in about their porn watching habits with their boyfriend and they were upset. So it's on my mind always. Okay, so. Dear Emily, I started this relationship with this guy recently. We were supposed to have gotten together in high school, but he met someone else and he left me in my resentment. I sent a message to his girlfriend after he messaged me about getting back together with me. I told her how he was planning to come back to me after she moved. He knew I sent it and held a grudge for a while. He now claims to really like me and wants to be in an exclusive relationship with me. It's very sketchy because he's very affectionate and lovey dovey when we're alone but not in public. And he talks about sex a lot. We haven't yet because I still think he is up to some type of revenge. Even though he always tells me he really likes me and wants me to trust him. But I'm having a very hard time believing him. Could it be that he's up to something? Or could he be genuine? Sign. Nancy. Oh, Nancy. This does not sound good to Me at all. You're probably in high school. It sounds like a few years out of high school. And he left you for a girl and then texted you and said, we're gonna get back together when I dump this girl. This guy is bad news.

He's still with the girl.

He's still with the girl right now?

Yeah.

This is what happens. You get blinded. You think, oh, he's coming back. The thing you gotta just. Nancy, you gotta cut this.

He's trying to find out if he can hook up on the side. Yeah, that's what he's doing right now.

Yeah, he's with the girl.

He does not really wanna get with you. He wants to see if he can hook up on the side or if they're about to break up, then he can just move on to you really quickly.

Exactly. So I think.

But not move on to you really quickly. Meaning he can, you know, have somebody where he doesn't have a period of time, where he's not having sex. I'm not saying where he wants to have like a long term type thing.

Exactly. So, I mean, I think there's always gonna be jealousy issues with this guy. He might seem like a cheater, but I think you're always gonna worry about it and you just wanna be with someone that you don't trust. You know, Rasan, he left you. He hurt you in this.

In this very poor ways.

No one listens. This is my other thing.

Oh, my God.

We're around this all weekend.

Don't do it all day long. But she's still gonna go.

People talk about like, love is blind. I think lust is blind when people make crazy mistakes and like, marry people and cheat. Because you're lust. You are lustful. You're infatuated with this guy right now. And you're not gonna listen to me. So why am I even talking to Nancy? She's not gonna listen. She's not Nancy, Just know that I'm right and listen to me.

That's something that I've learned later on.

That no one listens.

My age. That no one effing listens. Like, they want you to. They want to ask for advice all day long about what they should do in the relationship. And you tell them, like, dude, do not mess with this person. And they go, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they go, mess. Mess around with that person. It's a freaking disaster. And then they come back to you. Oh, I should have listened to you.

Yeah. Hello.

This is why I don't waste my effing time anymore. And then they go and they go back and they just want more and more information on why they shouldn't date. That.

Tell me again, why is it not good? Right? No one listens. You just gotta write them an email and to keep reading it over and over video of you talking about taking the same advice. Just listen to me, okay? So yeah, you got to listen to me, Nancy. I know what I'm talking about. I know from what I speak, okay? A guy. This is about a guy with low confidence. Dear Emily, I'm a new listener to your show and have maybe a fairly odd question. Usually I'm a pretty confident person and I feel good about who I am sexually and my performance in bed. Except with regards to one person, my ex girlfriend, who's also my best friend. While we were dating. She was definitely the less sexually adventurous one. At the time, she claimed she didn't even masturbate. After we broke up, we tried to maintain our friendship. She became more sexual person and started to really explore her sexuality. During this time, I found out that she never had an orgasm with me and was faking it. Needless to say, some of this rocked my confidence and we have tried several times to rekindle our relationship because we have a deep emotional connection. I feel like she compares me to her post sexual awakening partners. I know I am too available and there are two and too there for her even when she's with someone else. Is there anything I can do to try to rekindle this relationship all these years later? Or is it just time to throw in the towel? Signed Andrew. Okay, Andrew. I always like God. I wish he put it in his age. Not that it a hundred percent matters, but I'm just curious that.

Regards your ex girlfriend, my best friend. Like how long were you dating? You said it's been a while. The point is, I'm assuming you're in your 20s, early 20s. I. I think that first of all, do you even really like this person? Or is it since you found out that she was faking her orgasm that you just need to have her back because you feel insecure and you just want her back so you can rock her world and then leave her? It's like an ego thing because that is no reason to be with her.

And you say she's comparing you to her post sexual awakening partner. So I think you're just your ego here and you said you've been trying for a few years to rekindle it and it's still not working. This just doesn't sound like a recipe that for success. She sounds like a.

Just move on.

She's not a. She's going through a sexual awakening.

Sounds like a skank. Throw in the gutter, get another.

Yeah, exactly. No, but I'm not saying you don't need to be with somebody exactly.

I'm just saying you don't need to be with somebody that's like hurting your feelings like that.

She shouldn't be rubbing it in with you and saying she faked her orgasms and whatever. And if you're younger, I'm just assuming because a lot of people in their 20s, early 20s don't know how to have orga. They don't know. Women don't know their body. So, Andrew, this has nothing to do with you. Exactly. And I have to say that I was guilty. When I was 24, I broke up with this guy and I remember even telling his friends from. At a wedding, this was bad. I got drunk and I was like, I never had an orgasm. Which is stupid. I regret to this day, like I never had an orgasm with him, like, thinking it was his fault. But women should never. This is. Andrew, this is the bottom line. Women should not blame you because they didn't have an orgasm. It's actually their fault because she could have told you what she needed to have an org. And you said she never masturbated when you were together. Well, you want to be with a woman now. You are all guys who has masturbated, who has had orgasms. Or maybe you guys do it together and you help her figure it out. But a woman who doesn't know how to get herself there, you're not going to be able to do it if she's never. I mean, maybe miraculously it'll happen, but a lot of women need time alone, masturbating, figuring out their bodies so that they can then tell their partner what they need. And then she can have orgasms. Now, I'd be mad at you, Andrew, if she the whole time was like, listen, you need to lick my clitoris first for 5 minutes and 20 minutes and you didn't do it. And then I'd say, yeah, you're a schmuck, because she was telling you what she needed. But Andrew, she didn't tell you, so don't put your set up. You didn't fail as a man. Your penis isn't too small, whatever you're worried about. And I'd move on and find someone else that you should be with. That's what I think.

Totally agree.

You agree? I love when we Agree. It's amazing. Okay.

Another woman, sexually frustrated. Okay. Sexually open, but relationship frustration. Dear Emily, I love your show. I listen to every episode. I just came out of a serious sexual relationship. It didn't work out. But now I have found myself only finding people that are fun to have sex with. I like them more than that, but it has become hard for me since my primary sexual relationship to move past the point of just having sex.

I like them more than that, but it's become hard for me since my primary sexual relationship to move past. She's trying to move beyond just having sex.

Whatever.

I love to have fun, and I feel like if it's the right time to have a sexual relationship, then go for it. But I really want to find something more sustainable. I want to be in a relationship, but I feel like there's a vibe I'm giving out that I just want to hook up. I'm completely into sexual exploration and trying new things, and I'm open. I feel like that puts out a vibe that I'm just into sex and nothing else. How do I change that perspective? I want someone to share my life with and my sexual life with. I like talking about sex. I have fun joking and teasing. But maybe that's my problem. Your show has made me a better lover to others and to myself. Thanks, Kristen. Okay, Kris. What?

No, I'm, like, totally ready to jump in.

Go, jump.

Let me tell you something. Once you just tell. You start talking about sex with a man, like, they can't get that out of their mind. I'm sorry. You might have to, like, keep that in a little bit if your relationship. You're trying to be relationship focused. Because once a woman starts talking about blowjobs, a man just thinks like, man, I really want to try to get a blowjob from this chick. I'm sorry, but he can't.

He doesn't look at you as relationship material.

It's not really. Well.

Not that they don't look at you for relationship material, but that's like. That's just like.

It is. Because it's not. It's not your fault. But that's just. You know how men are wired. Like, if you're talking about sex, they're like, oh, my God. They're just focused. You know, they don't care about if you like going hiking in Los Angeles in the hills. Like, they're like, man, she likes. She likes boning. I want to get down and bone with her. Maybe it'll be cool to go to the movies with her later. But I'm just focused on boning, you know?

Totally.

And it's cool, like, you know, you want to be free and just be able to talk about sex with them and all that stuff. But maybe like just kind of hold off if, if relationships in your mind. But if you're just like a woman out there that's like looking to bang, talk about sex all day long, you.

Know, so you think a woman, she shouldn't bring it up on the first, second, third day. Is that you're saying never? I mean, I. That's my problem, Bobby, because I bring it, it comes up because of my job.

And then guys just want to bang. Sorry you don't be.

I've changed my career.

Yeah, they just, I'm sorry. They just can't get it out of their head. So, you know, focus on relationship stuff first and get in with a guy that you really like and then go, you know, super into, like, oh, this is how I like it. This how I want it.

Exactly. So maybe don't prematurely talk about sex and don't prematurely have sex with anyone. I just, I do believe that people should wait as long as possible to have sex with a new partner. Like, I think, Kristen, you really got to know the person. Is this a good person? Is someone would I, you know, someone that you're attracted to, but then do I want to be in a relationship, spend time with them? Do they have same morals, values, whatever it is, we want the same things in life. Because oftentimes people get into relationship, they get into the sex part too quickly and then they no longer. Then they think like, then it's all about the sex and they become obsessed and they don't even look at the person for who they are. So I would say maybe delay talking about all the things you want in bed and all the stuff you've done, even though you're a free spirited, open woman. And delay. And I would delay sex as long as you can and get to know these guys. And I think you'd be. Maybe they wouldn't look at you as just a hookup or they wouldn't look at you as just a, you know, someone who's that. They're thinking, that's their next blowjob train. She's on the blowjob train.

Yeah. Like Emily, look, perfect example.

Uh oh. What?

Once you just mentioned that you're from sex with Emily. What are the conversations usually after that?

People are just like, let's go, let's get a hotel room. No. Guys are like, no, it's True. And I don't want to lead with the fact that I have a sex because I think guys get intimidated or they think, oh, she's gonna be crazy. We're gonna have sex, and I'll be swinging from the rafters.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's hard. It's. I'm telling you, Kristen, you don't want my.

Dial it back.

You don't want my dating life. Okay? You do not want. Because someone Googles me, and it's a sex family, and I'm a prostitute, which I'm not. So I would just dial it back. I don't want you to change who you are, but maybe just change your topics of conversation, how you approach men. You laid it all out here from, honey. I think that you know what's going on, and so I love that you're sexually open. Just maybe, you know, talk about other things and let him know other sides of yourself before you reveal that right away and then see how for you, I think that is a great way to do it. You can also explore yourself sexually. You don't need a man to do it. You can buy a sex toy. You can go to goodvibes.com which is my favorite place to get sex toys. I have an entire garage full of sex toys in Los angeles. Emily@goodvibes.com you get 15% off. It's amazing. Deal. And I just have to say I'm obsessed with the new Jeju. J E J O U E Fifi. It's like the most beautiful, like. Like, rabbit vibrator. It's like one of the rabbits that used to be popular, like, 10 years ago, but they've made so many improvements on it. It's waterproof. It's just beautiful. It has this, like, really powerful little nubs on it. Hits your clitoris, hits your G spot. I just love the Jae Jou Mimi and the Fifi. Well, I always talk about the Mimi, but the Fifi is the latest. I'm sort of having an affair on my Mimi vibrator, which is actually a great one to use during intercourse and to hold in your clitoris. But I also love the. So emily@goodvibes.com emily coupon code emily good vibes.com for 15% off.

Now, people need to go to sex with emily.com and listen to the past couple shows because we've been recording, recording them here in San Francisco. And I don't remember if it was the first one or two shows back or the last one, but every time you bring up Fifi, I get this image in my head from high school, people talking about fifi bags. Now, I finally. I just looked it up on the Internet while you brought up fifi again. And so fifi bag is a real thing. It's actually used by prisoners who want to. It's basically making your own fake pocket vagina.

Right, Right.

And it says that they use a plastic baggie containing. Now, this might be kind of gross for you, raw liver or jello to use for sexual gratification. Now we're talking about prisoners. Okay. We're not talking about, you know, just people out in the open. And it's actually prison. Prison slang. So that's what a fifi bag is. So for the people that listen to a couple shows back, I'm like, oh.

When you say, so, they have. Okay, so they have sex with the vagina.

Yeah. They make their own vagina out of plastic.

I have a solution for guys doing that.

Okay.

Get a fleshlight from goodvibes.com or get a Tenga masturbation sleeve. They feel really good. It might feel like a vagina to you or whatever you want. You can do suction. It can. It has more pressure. And a lot of guys, like, you put a little lube in, it feels really good. So there are sex toys for men@goodvibes.com as well. That's funny. The FIFI is a.

Is a pocket.

It's a real thing. It's a homemade pocket vagina fifi bag.

Okay.

I imagine, like, when people are younger, like, you know, everything they stick their penises into. It's crazy.

I know. Like, pies. They really do that. Like, what'd you stick your penis into when you're younger?

When I was younger. Oh, man. What did I stick my penis in?

Honestly, Nothing comes up, like, off the top of the head. But, like, we. I mean, we hear about stories of, like, guys sticking their penises into. In between.

Picnic tables and stuff like that. Like, crazy stuff. There was this story. It's pretty. It's pretty bad. But it was all over the Internet, like, a couple weeks ago that this guy, for sexual gratification, was trying to stick the end of a spoon through his urefa. Like, the small part of his penis.

Ouch. Like, people just leave the penis alone. I know. Really? Like, it's okay to masturbate, whatever. But guys do crazy things.

When he started, you know, started tweaking the penis with, you know, metal objects.

Oh, my God, that just hurts. Like, I can't even. I'm, like, so distracted. Okay. Yeah. Be careful. With your penis. Guys, just have sex with one of these good vibration things for men. Go on the website, search for men toys. You'll be fine. Okay, this email just in, actually, like literally just now, I just liked it. I get so many emails from you. Feedbackexlme.com and this one's like jumping in the top because it's my favorite topic.

Do you know what it's about?

Your favorite topic? I'm not even looking at a computer screen.

No, you can't see it is.

Female going down on a female.

Oh, my God, Menace, you know me so well. I love us.

I love us.

I love us. We should get married or something if we liked each other that much. Okay. Dear Emily, my boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months and he's never gone down on me. And I want him to. I really like him. I've dated other people, but I've always felt embarrassed if they tried to go down on me. I always grab them and pull them up to my lips and I can't get enough of them. So here's my question. How do I get him to go down to me? And how do I get over the embarrassment, the embarrassed feelings and nervousness from Rihanna? Yeah. So I think that a lot of women, young women who have embarrassment about their, like, you know, hygiene and does he really like it? Does he really want to be there? And now she's saying, okay, I'm coming around to it, but how can she not be embarrassed? And how can she get him to do it? Like, they've been together eight months and he's never, he's never done it. So I would say, first of all, have you performed oral socks on him? I'm wondering if you have, because he should be reciprocating by now if he hasn't. I think you could also guide him and just tell him, you know, it feel amazing if you kiss me down there. I really like that. You could have a talk about it. When you're not having sex. You can just ask him about it. Like, so is that something you know? Or when you perform oral sex, I mean, like my turn to say that. I mean, how would you want a woman to initiate you going down on her? Menace, if you hadn't done it, what would you. How would you. What would make you want to do it? Yeah, no, even though I know you.

Don'T like it, what would make me want to do it?

Nothing.

Nothing. But, yeah, she can just bring it up, just say, but when, Just when. Just be like, yeah, I'm never In.

Bed, don't you think? Not in bed. Like, baby, go down to me. Do you want that in bed?

I mean, I. I at least want. No, no, I wouldn't mind in bed, but at least I want it to be in. I don't want it to be at, like, the dinner table or anything like that. Or, you know, we're just hanging out, watching TV or anything like that.

Play this podcast in front of him, Rihanna, and just tell him to do it. But I think a lot of guys are in, Are insecure. So you could tell him maybe, you know, it really makes me have crazy orgasms. Or what makes me feel really good is when I play with my clitoris. Do you want to see how I do it? And then you could show him how you touch yourself and be like, you want to kiss it. Or it would feel really good if you kiss her. Just go down on me. I mean, I think that he might need some guidance as well. Maybe he hasn't gone down on you because he doesn't know if you'd like it. And maybe a lot of men don't know what they're doing.

Yeah.

Until someone shows them. And then each woman is different, so you gotta learn new every time anyway. So I would just talk to him, have a conversation with them. Especially if you've been going down on him and he hasn't gone on you. That pisses me off. Can people get, like, tickets for that or something?

Is it illegal?

I guess I should do that stuff, so. And you're embarrassed by it and you want to know how. So how are you gonna go down? You. We covered that. How do I get over the embarrassed feeling and nervousness? Honestly, it's just.

I would lie back, I would breathe.

Deep, and I would focus on the sensations that you're feeling when his tongue is on your clitoris. Like, if your mind starts tripping out, you know, take a shower before. If you're worried about hygiene, make sure you feel clean and fresh. And then just keep going back to the sensation. If your mind want. It's like a meditation exercise. They always tell you in meditation, like, control your thoughts and. Or watch your thoughts come and go. Let them pass. It's sort of like that. Like you just. If you're getting neurotic in your head, go back to, wow, that feels really good. And just breathe deep and enjoy it. Because it's. Oral sex is amazing. It's an amazing gift to women.

It is.

And it's my favorite thing to talk about. So there's that. Okay, that's what we got time for today? Everyone check out my iPhone apps. I haven't talked about this in a while. So I've got an app called Kaggle camp and it is for men and women and PC muscles are really important. To strengthen them, doctors tell you to do it five times a day, five minutes a day, you never remember to do it. So my app, Kaggle camp, you set a reminder every day. It says, and men have been emailing me, forget it's the men more than the women who are like, oh my God, my orgasms are stronger. I can control my ejaculation five minutes a day, Kaggle Camp. And it's my voice walking you through it. It's very pleasant. It reminds me to do it. And I also have another one called sex drive, Emily's sex drive, which will spice up your relationship. And then my new brand emilyandtoni.com.

Yeah, you have to check it out.

I've got amazing products, menaces. Balls smell really fresh right now. I have something that will make your balls fresh and clean called down under. And a lot of men and women, women are thanking us, high fiving us for this product because a lot of men's balls get a little sometimes sweaty. They use talcum powder, things like that doesn't make them, doesn't, doesn't keep them fresh. And it's actually carcinogenic so it gets all over the place. This is like a cream to a powder. Just go to emily.com, check it out. I have beautiful massage candles that your partner, she's gonna freak out the scent of these candles, you pour em on her. It's luxurious and amazing. And then I have the best lube that you've ever tried in your life. I worked on this for two and a half years. I trusted every leave on the market and it's all@emilyandtony.com if you love me, you love the show, you will go buy some products there because it'll change your sex life. Just like sex with Emily. Okay, Madis, great to see you. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com I'm Emily from sexwithemily.com Crazygirlproducts.com carries unique pheromone infused products that make you feel sexy and confident. I'm crazy about their wannabe naked shave cream. It's made perfectly for your more intimate areas. No shave bumps or ingrown hairs. Use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off@crazygirlproducts.com.

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