SWE: Dating Mistakes

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek, powerful Rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jaejoo is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super soft, ultra quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20% off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r a so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies that's keeping my show free. Crazy Girl is an amazing product line that well, makes you want to get naked. Crazy Girl's Wannabe Naked Intimate Shave Cream, also known as their infamous coochie cream, will make you crazy happy because it prevents ingrown hairs and shave bumps. It's especially good for all those tender places. If you want to get the Wannabe Naked Intimate Shave Cream or any of the other amazing products@crazygirlproducts.com like their orgasm Gel and Diva Dust, use coupon code Emily25 for 25% off anything that makes the shave cream only $13. Do you know how expensive a wax is? That's coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off anything@crazygirlproducts.com or you can visit sexwithemily.com and get all the info you need there. Thanks for listening. Enjoy the show. Hi everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I no longer have the friends with benefits program. My podcast is completely free so that you can always enjoy Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey Emily, you got a Boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's got to have her standard. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so drunk.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

All right, you're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you probably are listening to the show live right now. Or hopefully you are. It's live free for everyone. Every day, one to two, Pacific Standard Time, we are doing a live one hour show, Sex with Emily. All sex, all the time, all the sex information you need. So thanks everyone for listening to the show today. I'm here with the White Menace.

Hi, how are you doing?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm good. And don't forget, people, we are at the Stitcher studio. So if you are listening to the podcast, you can listen on your smartphone, download the Stitcher app for free. And you just type in your Friends with benefits member password one time and then every single day it will update you and let you know that your podcast is there.

Does everyone know that becoming a Friends with Benefits, like Friends with Benefits member, what it's going to do for your life and your sex life and your relationships? Imagine every day you're going to have an hour of tips of advice about how to improve your sex life, how to improve your relationship. We're going to be doing videos. You get exclusive answers to all your questions. It's like free therapy. It's like if you're Friends with Benefits member, you get, you get on the top of my list. You write me a question, I answer you right away. I answer through video, I answer on the show. And you're going to be notified of that. And you're going to be. There's going to be special perks. You get free gifts every week. We're going to be giving out. It's just lots of fun stuff. So please join the Emily friend, the growing Emily Friends with Benefits bandwagon.

I like to say family.

Family. I couldn't think of that word. I was trying to think team family is the word. It's the friends who benefits family.

You know, a lot of people have been listening to show for many years.

I know Many years. You're right.

So.

So we really appreciate that. And it's, you know, 15 cents a day is what it comes out to. It's 4.95amonth or 49.95 a year. And it's sex with Emily all the time. All you ever. All you ever wanted and more.

So what's up? It's Friday. It's Friday.

Tgif.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we go on, what you're gonna do for the weekend and today.

How's the dog?

I'm having a hard time.

Oh, really?

Well, I just. Okay. I just got a new dog that I'm sort of borrowing it for 30 days. That's how it is now. So my friend Charlotte brought me this dog back that she thought would be the perfect dog for me. And I love this. I do. I mean, it's hard to. But you. To bond with. Like, it feels like we are trying to bond with each other. And I didn't bring her today because my friend Charlotte wanted to take her running this morning, and I didn't have time. And I'm like, great, you take her. I'll get her later. So I'm a little. I'm so used to have been living my entire adult life without any responsibility, but yet it feels like it's time for me to have more responsibility, and I don't want it to be like. Be like the pathetic chick. It's time for me to have more responsibility, and I don't know what's happening.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah. Feedback.

I didn't know that was in there.

I know. That's cool. So. So anyway, I'm like, you know, so it's a little scary, but here's what I feel like. I feel like when I got my new cell phone, my droid, when I transferred from the black beard of the droid, they said I had 30 days to return it. And it wasn't until, like, the 29th day that I fell in love. I never fell in love with my droid that I understood my droid that I got it, and I didn't return it. So I thought, okay, Charlotte is my best friend. She'll give me as much time as I want. And she loves this dog. And we've changed the name for the third time, too. So the dog's gonna be a little crazy.

The dog is gonna be so confused.

It's now Daisy. It was Dixie, and it was Scarlet before that because she's from the South. So we want to give her Southern name. She's a Jack Russell. And she's so cute. She's a little bigger of a dog. She's like, I wanted them more of a lap dog. I love cuddling, and I love the little dogs that you can carry everywhere. She's a little bit bigger, but she's sweet and adorable. And I'm. And here's. But here's. The biggest issue is that again, I'm so used. I'm such an independent woman. My life is very much revolved around what I have to do and running. And I'm always running from one place to the next. I'm traveling here and there. And is my life conducive for a dog? You know, I don't think that I'm ever gonna feel that it is. But I do love dogs. Like, it's never gonna be the right moment to get a dog.

Can you just say that I was right all along? You say that now or what?

I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying that you're right or wrong, because I might. It might be a match made in heaven. And I have another three weeks to find out.

So my cousin had an improv. Impromptu visit to San Francisco. And I was talking about you last night, and I said that you would probably get rid of the dog.

This is what all my friends think. You really think so?

Yes.

It's almost why I have to keep the dog. Just to prove everyone that I can have the dog.

No, don't do that. And make my life. I'm kidding.

I would never do that. But I think that. I just think that I'm not. You know, change is hard for everybody. No matter what the change is, it's always an adjustment. And I just feel like I'm going through an adjustment period of, like, having to take care of. Of something other than myself. But think of, like, how less selfish I'll be. Like, it'll be. I'll be so much more giving and open. Like, to have this beautiful creature in my life.

It sounds like a nightmare. And good luck with that.

Thanks, honey. I'm so glad you asked. So. Yeah. But I'm excited that it's the weekend. Hopefully it'll be a really nice weekend. I plan on working, and I plan on going out tonight for a friend's birthday. And I might. And we're meeting up with. Remember that guy I met a few weeks ago? I think I might see him.

Okay.

And. And then I'm going to see I told you Tales of the City, the play tomorrow night, which is gonna be really fun. And then. And then There's a bunch of guys lately that I told you I've met. I've gotten asked out, okay? I go through dry. Like we all do. You go through periods where you're up or you're down, you're. You're. You're me. You can't meet enough people. Like, you can't juggle them enough. And then it's like where you haven't gotten a text in a month. It's like the desert. So I don't know. But lately I've been getting hit up by a lot of guys that I've met at different places. Like, some of them I don't even remember. They're like, remember, we met at so and so. Or like they Facebook me or something. And no, I don't give them all my phone number, Menace, if that was your next question.

I'm just saying.

And I don't know what to do because part of me is like, I'm single, I'm dating, I'm ready to date, but I don't even know how I know them or who I met them or who they are. So then I gotta Google them and figure out how I met them, and are they cute? Are they not? And then another guy in my building. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about that, but I just feel like I keep meeting guys who ask me anyway. It's nice. It feels really good for the ego. But I'm not sure that I even have time or I'm ready or I even like all of them or not. That's what's going. So I think I'll have some dates this weekend. Some working, some playing. What about you? You're going to some music festival and doing something backstage with someone famous?

Yeah, I am doing that, but I have some other stories to share that happened today. I thought it was hilarious.

Okay.

All right. I have two stories. One's Facebook and one is email. So I'm gonna go with the email. So I don't want you to cut off the Facebook story because it's also good.

So today I was. I was at the office. It's Friday. Everyone's laid back, you know, whatever. And I don't know why, but I started going into my Gmail account and I was talking with my assistant. I was like, man, I have 27 gigs in my Gmail account. I can go back and see all my emails, right? And my emails go back almost to, like, I think to 2005, 2006. Wow, right? I have everything that I ever need. I just type it In. Boom. That's some file that I need. It's there, right? So for some reason, the email. There's an email of after I worked with you for the very first time.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry.

You're not gonna cry. Because I read it and I thought it was hilarious.

Tell me. You have to read it to me.

Well, it's like, wait, wait, this was 2005 then. Yeah, this is.

And it was the very first time we did the live Sex with Emily show in the studio.

Yeah, it's the very first time I worked you. Like you. I think you're doing it before. But then they asked me. They go, oh, you know, she needs some help.

Oh, I can't believe this.

Could you go in there and do it? Because I.

So we set it up, what we were doing then. I started Sex Family as a podcast in my living room about five, six years ago. And then I got asked to do a live show on. Can I say where? On CBS Radio in San Francisco, a station that's no longer in business, but it was called Free fm and it was an FM talk station. And it was. And I was so honored. I was like, my little podcast in my living room. They want me to do a live show. I'd never been on the radio before. I had never been in a radio studio before, and it was very exciting. And then I find out that I'm assigned to this guy. This Menace guy is gonna be my board operator, they said, and producer. And then Menace and I met. So what happened? No. Are you gonna embarrass me?

No. So he goes, this is.

It's a 3, 28, 2006. My. One of the bosses asked me, you know, so how did it go? My reply was, oh, no, they need some kind of training so they can understand how a show works.

That was my reply.

That's how you said.

And it's been a love affair ever since.

And what did he reply after that?

I didn't even look. But I just thought that I never.

Do you know, that I had never been into a radio station until the night that I went live?

Oh, no, I could. I could tell clearly.

Okay. Did you find any other good emails?

No, that was it.

I just thought that was hilarious. So that's 2006. So we have known each other for five years.

Yeah. I did find a bunch of pictures where I was really skinny. So I was like, I gotta go to the gym. I just have to. I know. I've been talking about it for years.

Let me see you Skinny look. Oh, my God. Is that how you were when I met you?

I don't think so. I think I might have. Well, I was a little bit. I try, I try, but I want to, you know, I want to get fit again. I like that.

That is a great story. That was. Okay, so 2006. Yeah.

So, yeah. I thought that was funny.

That is funny. You're like, she really needs.

Yeah, she needs help.

91 1.

They need to understand how to do a show. I mean, there must be some other people.

Oh, my God. I was like, hanging up on people. I'd never been in a radio station. I know what I was doing. And men is probably like, God, you were cute. Then you were, like, sleeping in the station. You were working your ass off.

I was trying. So here's the other story that happened today because I was in the middle of a phone conversation with a friend of mine from la and I just dropped the phone.

Okay.

Not because what they were telling me, but what I saw on the Internet.

So I'm trying to say this without giving out names and people can figure out exactly who they are, but I had two friends in the industry that were dating.

Okay.

I knew the guy for my entire radio career.

Okay?

Everybody in radio knows each other across the country. It's so small. It's like a tiny high school. Right? So he was dating somebody in the industry that I see a lot.

Okay, Right. See how. Because they were passing or you see her like you, you banger.

No, I don't. No, I don't bang her. Okay. I see her.

You see her in the office?

I see her in. In an office.

Right, right. Okay.

And they were having a long distance relationship for like, a really long time, and apparently they broke up. And so, you know, the usual thing is the, you know, the woman just ends up going, telling everybody, oh, I'm single.

She goes to Facebook. Change.

Yeah. You know, and like, I always say that which really annoys me is like how women, you know, have a parade and let everybody know that they're single.

Some women.

Some women, I'll say probably 95%.

I'd say not. It's not that high. Say the numbers. Not that high, but go ahead.

So anyways, so I'm on the phone with my friend in la and then I pull up the Facebook and it's the guy. And the Guy just added 15 new photos to his Facebook page of him. Of him. And I look on his page and it's him.

And.

And they just broke up. Like, not too long.

Okay?

It's him and another chick and they're in Jamaica. She's in bikinis. They're making out there.

No way.

He's all hugged up and I'm like, oh, my God, there's no way. And it sucks because everybody saw.

How long ago do they break up? I need time. Like a week, a month.

It has to be a little over a month, okay?

Oh, that's. See, that's why you got a defend. You got a defend.

Do. But do you know what's crazy is, like, everybody had the same reaction.

What was the reaction? Like, oh, my God, what happened when she sees it? Or is she doing it on purpose? Right.

Like she's gonna go, because you're more friends with her.

Yeah, well, I have to tell you the weird thing that. That sucks. See, that's why I think this is. Okay, so. So there was a guy I was dating, let's say a year ago, just for shits and giggles. It wasn't a year ago. It was about a year ago. We dated for about three months and it was a pretty amicable breakup. But there was a little issue at the end where we had a miscommunication and we haven't been friends ever since. Yeah, but I was home, so we broke up probably a year ago. So I was looking at my emails and someone wanted to see him. They're like, I was with a friend in Michigan and she's like, oh, show me the picture of that guy you were dating. So I pull it up and I realized we're not friends anymore. He defriended me. But a week earlier, I had seen someone else. I'd gone to his page for some reason, not to stalk him, but it was like, someone I don't remember. I was like, oh, yeah, here's who he is, you guys. I think it was for a work thing, actually. I was like, you guys might. You might know some of the same people. Whatever. So in the last week, he defriended me. We broke up a year ago. So for some reason in the last week, he decided to defend me. And I don't know why now.

It's driving you crazy.

Yeah, but like, why. Why a year later are you all of a sudden defriending me? Like, I thought, am I posting too much? Did I never. I'm not posting pictures of me and guys. Which I never post pictures of me and guys. Yes, except for it's you. I post pictures of me and menace, like, all the time. But, like, that's. I'm never, like, me and my guy, Whatever. So Anyway, I thought that was weird, but I don't know why. Like, I'm like, what was that moment? It was like driving me cr. I was with my sister in law who is not on Facebook. She's never been on Facebook, doesn't like Facebook. And I was like, oh my God. He defended me. And she was like, what are you talking about? Like, it was her first. She'd never even seen Facebook.

She doesn't know Facebook drama.

No, she doesn't get it. She's like, well, of course he did. You broke up with them. I'm like, yeah, but you don't get it. We were friends a week ago. So what happened? And I'm like, I don't even care. Let it go.

Was there any communication in that?

Nothing. I have not talked to him in a year. So I just. All I know is like, maybe he got sick of seeing my posts that were just. I would too of my post. Yeah, yeah, I get that you want someone out of your life that you know, but yeah, I get it.

What's cool is I remember I use a program where I don't even. I am able to update it without even looking at it.

You know, I know who tweets.

Yeah. Who tweets? My friend.

We need some help with that. We've been trying to do it, but it sometimes doesn't always work. Okay, let me tell you a little bit about today's show, okay? Okay. Today's show is very exciting because it's Friday and we're all very excited here. We're all very turned on before we're even doing. Doing it. I've gotten turned on the last few days. You notice that?

Yeah. What's going on?

I got like all aroused by my own material. Yeah, I totally need to get laid. Okay, topics on today's show, we're gonna be reading your emails that you send to feedbackextextwithemily.com A lot of you also so easily can go to the Ask Emily tab on my website, Sex with Emily, and ask me a question. Some of the topics include not enjoying sex, not having enough sex, posing naked and more questions about anal play. And then later, we'll be discussing and debating the things you should never, ever do in a relationship. Menace and I are going to be discussing. These are some common, commonly held beliefs around things you should never do in a relationship. And we're going to debate. Plus, we have a contest. It's your turn to give us your hottest sex tip. The best sex tip wins a sexy prize. So email us feedbackextwithemily.com or through the website. And then. Yeah, that's what we're doing. And then we've got our poll info here. We can get to that in a minute. But do we have more to talk about?

No, no, no, nothing.

Like, what are you doing this weekend?

Like, oh, I do have to go to a birthday party.

Right.

San Jose, California. So I'm gonna go to that. And then I. Saturday, no plans. And then Sunday I'm going to the Mayhem Music festival.

Sounds.

Sounds crazy with Megadeth and all.

Sounds awful. You have to work.

Yeah, it's a work thing.

Okay. Sorry about that.

But I'll be at a festival all day.

Okay, so poll. Okay. We've polls on our site. Not only are you getting sex with Emily every single day for one hour, and you can do it on demand if you are friends with benefits member right now, a lot of people are watching live, but you can also get this on demand if you missed it from one to two. And we've got polls. So here's what we got. Here's our latest poll, and these are the answers.

Okay.

What is your favorite time to have. When is your favorite time to have sex?

19% said anytime on the weekend. That was the least number. 21% said morning time, 23% said afternoon delight, and 37% said at night.

You said you were a weekend person.

I'm kind of a weekend person because during the week I'm just like, I'm too busy. I'm busy. But I would do it at night during the week. Help me. I go to sleep, although I kind of wake up after socks, which is annoying because I'm like, let's talk. Not. No, I'm kidding. But not talk about the. Not talk about anything important in particular. But like, sex wakes me up and it's so such a bummer. It's like, white men are for Mars, women are for Venus. And all that stuff they talk about, like, men fall asleep, I wake up, it is a problem.

Yeah, that could be a problem because I would die.

Okay.

So most people, like, I've told women to shut the hell.

Have you?

Yeah, I've told them, like, shut up.

Kind of a dick.

No.

You mean you don't say, shut the hell up?

I don't say shut the hell up. I say shut up.

But you come across like you're sort of an ass to women, but you're. I don't think that you really are.

No, but I say things that are not kiss assy.

You know, I think you're just a sweet puppy underneath.

Thank you.

Okay, here's our new poll. How long do you wait to have sex? Everyone go to sex only right now and vote.

Five minutes.

Number one, why wait? Let's get it on. Number two, around the third date, which is a. Kind of a common. A lot of people say there's like the third, fourth date thing. Three, when we are in love, married. And number four, after we've dated a.

Few months, I'll say number three, when you're married.

Oh, right, right. Menace. Menace the Virgin.

You were gonna respond or.

No, I'm gonna say, how long do you wait to have sex?

I say when the time.

Case by case basis.

Yeah, I say when the time is right.

Why wait? No, when the time is right. When the time. When it feels right. We actually had that as one of the options. Whenever it feels right. But that's what everyone would choose. So, like, I'm not putting that down as an option.

By the third tequila shot, I would say not the fifth, because the fifth is a little.

What happens to the fifth tequila shot?

You're too drunk. Yeah. And you can't.

Do you really puke after five?

No, I don't.

I would, though.

Oh, definitely you would.

I puke after three.

Yeah.

I need more tequila in my life, by the way. Not for the puking part.

I got extra bottles at the house.

I didn't tell you, but two. Okay, this is not related to sex, but whatevs.

Okay.

Two unrelated serious incidents I had that, like, hurt me, hurt me, hurt me, pain. The day I was leaving for Michigan, I had an accident at the gym. I fell onto a pile of weights and my whole forehead got. It was the size of a golf ball coming on my forehead. I tripped and, like, my head fell. You know where. How they line up all the weights, like, onto a ten pound thing of weights. It was a golf ball coming on my forehead. All the men in my gym, you know, my gate, my gay gym, there's no. I've never talked to any of them. Like, I don't have friends there. They're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. They were like, should we call nine? And they were like. I was on the floor with ice all over, my whole body, bruised, beaten.

How come you just saw me right now?

Because I. For. Because I left for Michigan for a week and I forgot to tell you. And it was like, so embarrassing. And they're all like, are you okay? Should we call an ambulance? I couldn't move for eight minutes. That's how bad I Hurt myself. Knocked out just because I tripped like an idiot. And then they're like. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going on vacation an hour. I'm flying. And they're like. I'm like, oh, does it look bad? And I wouldn't care how it looked, but the guy's like, don't worry, honey. You can just put your bangs over it. I don't have bangs. So anyway, it's been this really, like, huge thing on my forehead, but I think it's gone away. But that was really scary.

Yeah.

And then I got really sick in Michigan. Did I tell you that? I was like, I'm in bed for two days, but how badly that I tripped and fell.

You're falling apart on me.

But here's the thing. I walked to the gym this morning. I haven't been there since the incident. And everyone at the gym, apparently, they're like, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? And I don't even remember who helped me because I was so out of it. Like, I thought I was like. I thought I could die. I thought I could go to the hospital. I thought I had a concussion, but I didn't.

Could have.

I just wanted.

I mean, there's. Just yesterday. It's pretty tragic. Did you hear about the baseball incident?

No.

You didn't hear about that?

No.

All over the news, Internet, television, radio, paper. It was the Oakland A's versus some team. I don't care about the team. And there were. Some guy was. You know, he hit a foul ball, right? And one of the players is like, oh, you know, it's a foul ball. I'm just gonna throw it into the stands. Well, he didn't throw it far enough. And one of the. One of the guys reached over the railing to catch it and then fell over the railing. And he died just yesterday.

In Oakland?

No, not in Oakland. Wherever they were playing. I think Indiana. I could be totally wrong.

Oh, my God.

But he just fell and died right there.

Oh, my God.

Can you imagine? You're just hanging out. No, no. There's all these people just hanging out. At the baseball game, he just leaned.

Over and he was, like, way up in the bleachers or something.

Yeah, he went catch the ball and he fell over. Died right there.

Did he fall into the table or he's fallen flat on the feet.

He fell like, 20ft.

Oh, God, that's so sad. What a way to go.

Sucks.

I'm just gonna go to a baseball game next week. I gotta be careful. I Can see me doing that.

Don't try to get.

Can't wear my 5 inch heels. Trying to catch a ball.

No.

That is really sad. And. Okay. So we could get into some sex in the news. Can't you have anything else to share? What? Are you. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm cool. It's just. It's weird. One of my cousins is in town. I haven't seen her in 15 years and she just like, hey, I'm here. Let's hang out. So we're like. We're hanging out at the cliffs.

No way.

A lot of fun.

Yeah. Last night.

Yeah.

Is she staying with you?

No, she's not staying.

Okay. That's so fun. She's just older. Younger cousin.

She's older. She's a reporter.

She is?

Yeah.

Oh, fun. So you can take her out. No. Tonight. You have plans, right?

No. Yeah, yeah, we already hung out yesterday.

Okay, got it. You're done with her. Okay. This is some sex in the news. And then you just sent me one when we were coming in.

Yes. You better read it because.

Okay, I haven't read it yet, but.

I read it and it's amazing.

Okay, I'll let you read it when we get there. Okay. Women dies. Okay. Menace just sent this to me.

I just sent this to you because you have a dog and this is a sex show. All right, you ready?

Women dies of allergic reaction to the dog she had sex with. And it's on Gawker, which I'm one of my favorite blogs. Let's see what it says. Hold on, it's coming up. That's hilarious. She had sex with her dog and died.

No, it wasn't her dog. Check it out.

Holy moly.

It's a full story.

Jesus. After reading this weird news story, you will never have to read another weird news story ever again. Is everything an insane premise, crazy people, crushing irony? A sex crime and a sex crime. They said that twice. Oh, sex crime and a sex crime. It seems an Irish woman died after an allergic reaction to a dog. A dog she had sex with. Yes. Really? From Ireland, the land of geniuses like James Joyce, Oscar Wilde and Bono, comes the story of a 43 year old woman who encountered a man in a bestiality chat room and then met him at his house in Limerick. She had sex with his Alstatian dog, Al Cetacean dog. I don't have to say that, but other dog people probably do. And then had a severe allergic reaction shortly afterward, possibly from the dog semen. She later died at the hospital the incident apparently took place in 2008, but medical experts just confirmed the cause of death because the case is finally making its way to court. Oh my God. The dog owner is charged with buggery.

Yeah.

Ordering the dog to commit the act. Buggery is apparently still a crime. Oh my God. People are into like, I'm just so not cool with bestiality. I'm cool with most things. Yeah, but like dogs and sex with minors is not cool. It's not cool. Like I. The dog can't consent that she died from the semen.

Yeah.

She's 43 year old woman. Can't she just date online?

Well, she was talking. No, she was.

Met him at a beastiality website online. But could you not go to beastiality website? Can she just go to like Match?

Yeah.

In Ireland.

I mean, people. You don't really need to have sex with animals. It's not cool.

Oh my God. Is it because they're desperate? Is it because there's nothing else?

There's something weird in their head.

I know they're.

They're into this.

I know people are into it a lot, a lot more. In a lot of different countries, it's commonplace. That is crazy.

Yeah. I just thought I would bring it in.

I appreciate you bringing that in.

The whole dog thing and.

Oh my God, like, ah, poor little, my poor little dog. I will not have sex with my dog.

Okay.

Okay. Women solicit sex on Craigslist as her husband's ex. The latest in Craigslist hijinks. A woman places an ad. So you got to pay attention to this because I had to read it twice, which means that it's hard, which. Or just means that I'm slow. Women places an ad soliciting sex on Craigslist only.

Yeah.

She gives her husband's ex wife's address and phone number as the recipient. So she writes an ad and the ad says. The ad says.

I'm currently dating a decent man, but he's lacking some skills in the bedroom. It's. It's nice, but I need to be thrown around a bit and need to be dominated. That is exciting for me. I also like to take charge sometimes, but I need a strong man to keep me in check. Please be respectful if you do stop by. So. So the, the characterist ad gave her address and her phone number and people just started coming by the ex wife's house.

What?

This woman is remarried to her. How crazy are people in this world? It's like that woman I was just seeing on television who did something because her just. People are just insane. I don't know. This is totally unreal. Unrelated but just insane things that people do that I just, I'm such a peacemaker. Like I'm like a. All about love. Like, you know, make love, not war. Like. Like who are these people who. I mean, obviously she's got an issue with her husband's ex wife and wants to pay her back for something, God knows what. But like people do mean conniving things.

Yeah.

She sits up and comes up with this plan. Like do you think it's impulsive? Like do you think she just does it and she regrets it or do you think there's like she has no regrets and just thinks that she's in the right?

I think sometimes it is compulsive.

Right.

Yeah. Because I, you know. Do you ever write angry emails?

I do, but I don't send them. You have to wait 24 hours before you write. You write an angry email to someone, you're so you're supposed to sit on it for 24 hours.

Problem with me is I have seen on it. I have too many emails to write. So I just shoot them out there, you know.

You and your whole one sentence emails.

Yeah, no, but I'm a really. I'm like a dick in them. Like it's usually me frustrated because like somebody won't work as much as me.

I know.

But yeah, but I think, yeah, some of it, it might be just in the moment, you know, but are some of it's like really plotting things out?

Did you hear about that woman? I saw this on cnn. She, her son didn't make the baseball team and this was like two weeks ago and she was threatening. She literally sent threatening letters to the coach and a few other people at the school saying like, I know where your children go to school. I'm going to come and get you. I can't believe you didn't accept it. Like, you better watch your back. Like threatening that she was going to kill them because her son wasn't accepted to the basketball.

You do that in a letter. Like you do that verbally when no one else.

Like she was like arrested. Like you don't threat. Like you just don't do. But I'm like, what is she thinking? And she did it a few times. She kept calling, calling. It was like she was like threatening them for Rizzo.

Well, it just shows that, you know, out of all the stories we just read right now.

Yes.

That it just proves that women are crazy. They're out of their Effing mind that they.

Men do crazy things, too. No, there was a man who let a woman sleep with his dog in that story. Let's just not forget that.

Yeah, but it's the woman that was actually doing the act. You know, it just proves that, you know, that women are just not rational at all.

We are rational. We're just different than men. So it's hard for you. We've got hormones that are different. We've got estrogen. We've got other things going on in our brains that you guys will never understand, like pms, for example. We should do. I should explain that. I mean, PMS is like. We really. We really feel like we're going insane at those times, or we really can't control it. It's like. I mean, you can. There's things you could do, like, don't drink caffeine and take certain vitamins. And, like, you can do things so you don't get as pmsc. But basically, when you're pms, you're like, I want chocolate. I want caffeine. I want all the things that you're telling me not to eat, and give it to me now or I'm gonna kill you.

Yeah.

And you really get this. Like, I remember when I don't get it that bad at what I did. It's like those five days a month, or a month, a week, a month. I always think about that when it used to get really bad, because for women, it goes in phases. Like, sometimes your PMS is really bad, and sometimes it's three days or seven days. But when it's the seven days, I'm like, that's a quarter of my life I'm spending wanting to kill everyone who walks in my. Like, I literally got to where I'm like, you get. You. You. Your mind really does change, and you really. Everything that was okay yesterday, like, you loved your neighbor, you loved your boyfriend. Like, everything was perfect. You want to kill them or you just can't stand them or people. You have no low tolerance for things. Like, it's. We can't do anything about this.

They haven't, like, just made a magic pill for that.

I mean, they have, like, Prozac and stuff like that you can take, but Prozac.

But this. This only happens for, what, how many you can take?

Actually, there are drugs that women. If you're. If you happen. If you're a woman listening to this or you're dating, there are certain medications that you can take only the week before your period to help prevent the Strong PMS syndromes. And PMS is really a disorder. Like, it's in the. It's in the psych. The. The psychology manual, the DSM 3R, the Diagnostic Statistical manual of every. Every disease in the world. It is now in there. Like premenstrual syndrome is a syndrome and.

A disorder you just brought up. If you're with somebody that's having this. Can you imagine having that conversation?

Honey, take a pill.

So there's.

It wreaks havoc. No, I know it's hard. She's gonna kill you. Don't do it when she's PMS less.

Than a bitch then.

But if they do work, I know they work. I've tried years ago, like, I used to have really bad pms and I tried some stuff and it kind of helped. I don't. Like.

What would you do?

I.

Bad pms.

I would be really. I would. I would. Personally, I would just hate everybody. Like, I would be. I was different. I would. I'd be really annoyed with everybody who came my path, and I just. I couldn't get stuff done. I was super add, more so than usual. Like, I was not social. I didn't want. Like, everyone bugged me and everything in my life bugged me. And I only saw the negative and I couldn't see the positive. And it was just for a week. And I would always cry, so I would always cry the day before my period. Like, it was like clockwork. I'm like, you know what? I'm getting my period Sunday. And I know that tomorrow, Saturday, I'm going to cry about something. Everything's great right now. The sun is shining. Like, I have a great job. Birds are. Birds are singing, and I'm gonna cry. And sure enough, something would happen that would make me cry on Saturday. Yeah, always. It was like clockwork. It just. It doesn't happen anymore.

At least that's one. That's, you know, one day out of the month.

No, it was seven days leading up to it. Of how seven days or five.

No.

Yeah, Five to seven days. I'm just like, in hell. And then the second you get. The second, you just like to. I know that I remember reading somewhere like, today we're gonna be giving you tips on what you should never do in your relationship. And this is something that I read once, that you should never, ever discuss your period with a man. Like, you should never even bring it up. Like, don't even bring it up. And here I am talking about it for 10 minutes. Yeah. So I'm sorry, but I think it's also a really important information to dispense. So it's. I think if they say you shouldn't bring it up, like, with you. I mean, but. But it's part of life.

Do you feel bad for guys that have to deal with it or.

No, I feel that men are. It's just part of it. It's part of being with a woman. And not. Not all women have of pms. Not all women experience it, but most women I know do or have at some point in their lives. Sometimes women experience every other month. It depends. Like, sometimes, like, our periods are different. Like, sometimes you get really bad cramps, sometimes you don't. It's just different every month. And. But my PMS isn't as bad anymore. But if I ever seem, you know. No, but don't ever say, and, oh, here's what you don't do if she is. No. Yeah. Don't ask. Don't say if she's bitching or she's upset. Be like, are you in the reg? Are you getting your period? That is the worst thing you can do. You're gonna get punched in the face. So never assume that if that. And just because we are. Perhaps we are PMSing does not invalidate the way we're feeling. We really are feeling those things. It just might be heightened by that.

Okay, can that. I mean, that seems a lot easier to deal with than what I saw on television last night.

What did you say?

Yes, on television last night they had these documentary series on MTV called True Life. And last night there was this girl that says, true Life. I have Tourette's. And it shows. Like, her starting to hang out with this guy before they were together and then eventually ended up having a relationship. But these are the things. And I give a lot of props to the guy that, you know, took this on, but these are the things that she was doing in the show.

She would faint. Just. You would just be walking down the street, and then automatically she would just faint out of nowhere, and then he would have to catch her, like, every single time. Other things she would do where she would just tense up and she'd go.

And she would just hold her breath, and then he would have to hit her on the chest. And then she'll go. And she would start breathing again.

Oh, my God.

It was like a tic where she would not breathe until somebody hit her on the chest or she would hit herself on the chest.

Okay, that would be interesting to date someone with that. This scenario.

So then this is the craziest Part. And I don't want to laugh at her. And she was. She was laughing at herself. She would make jokes about it, so I feel fine.

Yeah, she would. Did a reality show about it.

Yeah. So she was. She was.

It's fair game.

She would make fun of it a lot.

Right.

So. But.

They'Re sitting down on a bed and they're just having a conversation, and then she just turns her head like the Exorcist, and she goes, I have the devil inside me. I have the devil inside me. And then she would just grab her neck and start choking herself. And then he would have to pull her hand off.

How long were they dating?

They were dating for, like a few months. But the thing is, the only reason that they broke up because she was leaving for college and, like, she was. The whole deal was, like, showing the experience of, like, letting people new people.

Did they show them intimate? Like, were they intimately? Like.

Yeah, they were, like, making out and stuff, like, okay. On camera. But like, those were just a couple things.

That's crazy that, you know.

And I got it. You know, I have to give it to the guy that, yeah, he must.

Have really loved her. He goes through it. We all make sacrifices in relationships.

Yeah, it was.

Relationships are never perfect, but that would be especially challenging.

Yeah. And the craziest part that I thought about this is she goes to college and she goes into the dorms, and she asked for a single dorm because she's like, I don't want to be distracted to somebody that I was living with. Right, Totally. So they show, like, people just walking in and, like, she's introducing herself and telling everybody what's going on and how come another girl walks in, she goes, oh, yeah, I have narcolepsy. Right.

Another girl walks in and just says that.

Yeah. She's like, oh, yeah, it's all good. I have narcolepsy. So then they show a whole crowd of everybody hanging out together. And then she thinks, so one girl is, like, tripping out, saying she's the devil, and then the other girl just, like, falls asleep right in the mid conversation. Falls asleep and, like, fall down.

How.

Where are. Where's this college?

I don't even know. Where is college?

I don't know.

I met these people.

I never met anybody with narcolepsy ever.

Me neither. But now it's all over everyone. So he's filming it. I have.

I have friends have, like, mild autism. Like, not as extreme as that.

Right.

But I just thought it was, like, extremely.

That's crazy. That's so Interesting.

If anybody like has stories like that, please email us feedbackexwithami.com you know, not to but just say like, you know, I was dating a girl that was going disabled.

Have you dated anyone who says disabilities or is challenged in any way physically, emotionally, what does that experience?

I'd be really interested in the.

Yeah, I'd love to hear from you. Feedback@sexwithemily.com yeah. Okay. Okay, we got one more sex in the news.

Okay, what you got?

Okay, we got Heidi Klum pole dances for Seal. Okay, how about that? Apparently they have this amazing sex life which she's always talking about. She loves doing pole dances for her husband Steel because she thinks it's important for married couples to have a healthy sex life. And she does that by dancing on the pole. Heidi Klum loves doing pole dances at the German supermodel who raises four children, says it's important for married couples to have a healthy sex life and likes to spice things up in the bedroom. She said there's nothing wrong with a nice garter belt. I'm not saying you have to put up your up a pole in your bedroom and start swinging off the rafters, but I do love to do that sometimes. So she's got a pole in her house and she says she renews her vows with Seal every single year on their anniversary. Says having a healthy sex life is easy for her because she still finds her 48 year old spouse very attractive. He's even hot when he's sleeping. He's a beautiful man, he's kind, he's a gentleman. And I watched him last night on stage and he still rocks it. I'm like, yeah, that's my man.

Wow.

She met him in 2004 when she was pregnant with another someone else's baby. She said, I'm not someone who plays hard to get this whole thing about. Oh, let's exchange numbers, blah, blah, blah. Okay. The point is she's got it. She's got. How would you feel? Okay, so I think pole dancing is kind of hot. I kind of want one of those polls. They were going to give me one once a pole for my bedroom. I think that'd be cool, but I'm not that good at it. I gotta practice.

Yeah, yeah, make sure it's like installed.

Right, because you know. Would you come over and install my stripper pole menace since you installed everything else? All.

Everything.

He installed my sec. My porn box.

Yeah. And your DVD player, your television.

I know you're the best that I.

Haven'T used yet, but the Other thing I was gonna say is I've seen it on television so many times, so many pole accidents. I know there's all these, like, television shows you don't have, like, Rock a Love and things like that, where they have holes inside, like, a lot of these MTV shows, you know, because the girls go crazy, right?

And they all fall. I've seen that. But this is what I want to say about the story, though, that I think that Heidi Klum, I love the idea of renewing your vows if you're married to someone. Because business. Because being married to someone is like a contract, and you should renew it every year, every five years, whatever. I'm not saying you have to every year, but, like, what. What an amazing thing to sit there and say, like, let's say our vows again to each other. Because when you. When you write your vows for your wedding, they're pretty intense, and they're pretty real, and they're, like, heartfelt, and they're like, what you. You really are hope, what you hope will happen in the future, what you promise, what you. You know, like, you're. You're most. The mo. What you value as the most important.

Factors of your relationship. Whatever, you give them to each other. Your vow is like, I promise I will never. Whatever. I will always support you in all your endeavors. And I think that's amazing to say to each other every single year and to spice up your sex life and have a pull or do whatever.

Like, four kids and, you know, four.

Kids in a pool. That's hot. What?

I don't find sealed that attractive, but she does.

That's what's happening.

I know. That's what I'm saying. This guy's the luckiest guy in the world.

I know. I know. Really, I think he's attractive. And I love that they've been together for a long time and that they do that. So I'm saying with couples, because actually, I'm gonna get into emails next. And it's funny because we were reading through a lot of the emails today, and they just happened to be. A lot of them have similar themes, and a lot of us emails do have similar themes over time, and this is actually one of the most common themes, but for some reason today, a lot of them happen to. And that is like. Like, how do we spice up our sex life? We've been together a long time. What do we do? I'd say that's the most common question I get. I'd say that it's one of the top three questions I Get asked in sex with Emily is how do we spice up our sex life? It used to be hot. It was rocking. We had sex 10 times a day. And now I can't even get my wife to do whatever. Or my husband sometimes. And so what do you just spice it up? So here, Heidi Klum, big, you know, she's busy. She's got a job. She hosts Project Runway. She's got four kids. I mean, I'm sure she's got lots of help, and I'm sure she's got lots of nannies and stuff.

Stuff.

But she has a poll in her house and renews her vows. And I think that's awesome. The renewing the vows part especially. I just wanted to say that that's.

Weird because you're not really into marriage.

I. I'm into. I'm into marriage.

You're very anti marriage.

I'm not anti marriage. Madness. That's so wrong. I don't like when you say that.

You said personally, marriage is for losers.

No, I've never said that.

Honey, get married if you want to be happy.

I never have said that. Please don't even say things like that, because you know that's not true. I support Marriage 100. Personally. Personally, I'm not sure how marriage will be, if it will be a part of my life. I'm not sure. I think it'd be amazing if it was. But I completely respect and honor people who are in really good marriages. I look for them all the time. Like my friends who have wonderful marriages. My family is in wonderful marriages. My brother have been together with his wife for 18 years. Amazing. They're so happy. I think it's great. So I completely respect the unity of marriage. So for you to say I hate it and it's wrong is not true.

It's just weird that you have a F marriage bumper sticker on your car.

Yeah, that's fine. That's just for fun.

Okay.

Just kidding. I don't have one. Thanks, Menace. Okay, ready? Emails.

Okay.

Just drop in a line to say, keep up the good work. Your show is awesome. Just when I think your show can't get any better, poof. The next day, it moves up a notch. You are the queen of the airwaves. Sincerely, your admirer. We don't have a name there, but we just read that because that came in from a Friends With Benefits member. All right. And you get pushed to the top.

When you're Friends With Benefits members, by the way.

Exactly. And it is getting better every day. I have to say these Shows. We're doing it every single day for an hour. Do you realize before people that you were getting one show a week for 45 minutes, which was a great show, but now you're getting five of those by listening to this show, by becoming a Friends benefits member, and you're getting.

Video, video, podcast video.

You can watch right now. Right now. You can watch me. You can watch me doing the show right now. There is a camera on me and it. Which is awesome for you, but soon you'll be able to see more people in the studio. Like Menace.

Yeah.

Multi cams, Multicams. Okay. I just. Dear Emily, I just found out that my wife does not like sex. She said she always did like it, but she did any. But she did it to make me happy. What can I do to try to get her to like sex? Ken from Rhineliner, Wisconsin. Rhineliner, Wisconsin. Wow. Okay, Ken. I just. Sometimes I wish people this. We're gonna be getting phones in here soon. Does everyone know that? They'll be calling in. Right, Menace. We're doing. Yes, Because I've got questions for you, Ken. How long have you been together? How did you not know this? How long did she keep up the front that she did like sex? Because I don't know. I mean, I don't think you can try to convince someone to like sex, but I think there's things you could do to find out. I think she's got it. You know, you can talk about what she doesn't like about it first, find out what she doesn't like about it, and maybe you could find from there some things. Maybe there are some things that she does like about it. You can be like, okay, you hate everything about it, but what's the one thing you like? And she. Maybe she says, I love kissing. Well, maybe you. We did a show on kissing yesterday. Maybe you really focus on kissing and you just focus on that only and enhancing that experience, and maybe it'll expand to other areas. Now, a woman who doesn't like sex, I mean, it could be a lot of things. It could be that she has low libido. She could be taking medications. She might have been abused as a child.

Sex.

She might have had a history of sexual abuse, or she might just have low libido, and that just might be in her genetics, her DNA. I don't know. But I don't think that it's as easy. I don't have a quick answer for you of how you can get her to like sex, because I think the most important thing, again is And I know this is kind of a bummer, Ken, because. But you're going to have to do some work here talking to her. Or she needs to do some work around why she doesn't like it and what she does like. And what she does like you work on and what she doesn't like. She might need to get some therapy around it. We don't know. We don't have all the answers. Yeah, but I can't have. You can. I don't know how to tell you to get her to like. It's like you can like show up in like a G string and she's gonna be rockin or something, you know.

Just throw it out there, say, hey, why are you being such a bitch?

That's another tactic that, that could work, that would start the conversation.

But Ken, you have. I know that and, and I, I cringe sometimes when I hear myself saying stuff like you just gotta talk to her because, Ken, you're emailing me because you probably don't want to talk to her. You just want to do something so you can get her to have sex with you again. And I'm telling you, this situation I hear from you, this, what I hear from this is a much more complicated situation.

Yeah.

Good luck.

Godspeed.

Godspeed. Just yesterday, while having lunch at work, I opened a fortune cookie that happened to contain this message. Our first and last love is self love. It may not have meant self love in the sexual sense, I. E. Masturbation, but ain't nothing like a little double entendre. Collins. It's true. That is kind of a double entendre, right? Self love. Because self love, they say that, you know, masturbation is sex with someone you love. Yeah. And so our first and last. It is true, you were born alone, you die alone. Like if you don't love yourself. Here's another thing. I'm just gonna say this is one of my big pieces of advice for people. If you're dating someone or you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't like themselves, I mean, we all have things about ourself that we want to change. And we all have things about ourself that, you know, we could work on that we could could lose £10, we could be nicer to our neighbors, to our family. But someone who truly doesn't like themselves is not happy with themselves is not going to be a great match for you because they're always going to be looking to you to fill themselves up and to make themselves feel better. And we are the only Ones who can make ourselves feel better. We are the only ones. Self love truly is not just about masturbation. Although I appreciate this email because you know, anything could be. I mean you can, you can extend it in masturbation, but really someone doesn't love themselves is not going to be lovable because they're just miserable and not happy with who they are. And that person has to work on their self esteem.

This is a tad.

People hate themselves. People hate themselves and it manifests in relationships. And if you're an angry person who hates yourself, you're going to be wreaking havoc on your partner. You're going to think that your partner needs to make you happy and your job needs to make you happy and your new dog needs to make you happy and your new car is going to make you happy and guess what? You raise. Nothing is going to make you happy unless you love yourself and make yourself happy first. That is the bottom line.

And the biggest frustration, I mean from the male point of view.

Is when you try to compliment females and where they're really serious. Like some will blow it off like oh, you know, you're, you're just saying that where it's, you know, light hearted.

Right.

But some just like are really serious when, when they don't believe you and then when, then they also flip it where they're like where is my comments? And you're not giving comments. But when you do give the comments.

It'S just like comment to the compliments.

The compliments, okay, where oh, you're beautiful and like no I'm not. No I'm not.

And they're really serious about lots of women like that. Haven't you encountered so many women?

Yeah, yeah. And it's really frustrating.

Frustrating and it's really hard to get over. Like women have to do Certain men, men hate themselves too. It's not just, you know, it's such.

A sword too because okay, all right, do I not compliment them? And then they get, they get mad about that and then when I do compliment them, they don't believe me.

And it's just, it's tough because the truth is if you don't love yourself that there's nothing that anyone else can do. Like I just said, like your partner could tell you 15 times a day how beautiful you are, how amazing you are. But if you really feel bad or you bad. Body image. A lot of women suffer from body image issues. It's, it's not gonna help. You have to just work on it yourself. That's what I Gotta say, okay, we actually, this show is flying by. We gotta get into sex tag.

Go for it.

Okay, so we just got through a few emails, but okay, here is. These are some common dating mistakes and I want to see what you think about this. This is like common held belief and I want. And making sure. And I think that you probably should try to avoid most of them. But we're going to debate them and we're going to have them out here. Ready? Never have sex on the first date. Some people say that dating rules are meant to be broken. If a love connection is there, then couples make up the rules as they go. But having sex on the first date immediately introduces complicated or unpleasant issues such as miscommunication over post sex expectations. But that doesn't mean you have to restrain from giving a little loving. Okay, again, a lot of these are phrases. Never. But I don't believe in never, never for anything. Like I don't believe that you should never have sex on the first date, but I believe that there's no reason to have sex on the first date.

Yeah, I. Can I share a story? I had sex on a first date and I ended up dating that girl for like almost two years.

I've done that too. I have. And in fact I was talking to a friend about this yesterday and she said to me, every guy she's dated, long term, she had sex with the first date or like the second date.

Yeah.

So I don't know. What do you think about that? Did you have sex on the first date? I think it's better. But I think that if you're thinking about it and you can wait, there is no reason to give it all up to do it all on the first date. Yeah, there's because like why not create anticipation and some excitement, like have them like touch your boobs and then next time touch something else or whatever. But like why rush into sex? I don't know. Okay, don't check their email just to see what he's been up to. These again, some relationship mistakes. Don't check his email or his voicemail or his regular mail for that matter. Such things are private and important. Personal boundaries to respect. No matter if you're married or casually dating, once you go down that road, it's hard to turn back. If you want to know what your partner's up to, ask them. So I believe that's true. I believe that you should. If you are having urges to check your partner's phone, you should ask them first. Be like, I'm getting, I'm Feeling like maybe you are doing things behind my back or whatever it is. But once you start checking, like you're just violating all these boundaries. And you're always going to find something that you are going to believe in your mind is means that he's cheating or means that she's doing something off. Yeah, but I think that you just. I don't, I don't think it's ever good to do that. It's just not right because you're going to, you're always going to find something that you don't understand and you don't have all the information and, you know, twist everything around again.

In the beginning of the show or I was, I was telling my email story like, I am screwed. I had all my emails since 2005.

That's crazy.

You know, so there's gonna be stuff in there. There's already probably over like 40,000 emails.

40,000?

Yeah. It was funny because when I was looking through that.

I saw a bunch of emails from like ex girlfriends and I was just like laughing at them.

Did you read them? I loved going back and reading old emails.

It was crazy.

I have 2006. All my emails from 2006.

Yeah. And I, oh, my God. I was like making fun of myself. Like my, my, my girlfriend was saying, oh, yeah, I'll, I'll be sending that over. And I was like, oh, thanks, you sexy thing.

I'm like, that's like, sexy thing?

Yeah. I'm like, I really said that.

I think you've gotten jaded. You should say things like that more often. No. Why did you say it then and not now? Why would you say you sexy thing and not now? Say it.

I believe because the girl that I was with at that time, like, I was super in love with.

Oh.

And then I think that, you know, I think being in that relationship taught me a lot of things.

Taught you not to say you sexy thing?

Not to be as gullible and, you.

Know, oh, so this is why you're so hard and cold. This is why you're so cold and hardened.

Not just because of that relationship.

Did you break your heart?

I don't know if she broke my heart, but it was a really.

We gotta get. Do some work around this relationship.

Why?

I just realized all your issues stem from this one relationship. No, most of them.

She does. When we get the phones in here, I'm sure she'd be happy to call.

Okay, we're gonna analyze.

She's on radio too, so she wouldn't mind.

Okay.

She would think it's fine.

So don't check their email. Okay. So never date someone who won't introduce you to their friends. Or be weary. I'm not gonna say never. These all say, never be weary of a dude or a woman who, like, never introduces you to their friends.

Friends. Yeah.

Because being introduced to his or her friends is a pretty good sign that they're into you and the idea of the two of you. So there's nothing wrong with little. And also, don't tell them you Googled them. Like, people keep telling me they googled me when they date me, and I'm like, I guess I assume they do because X was Emily. But, like, I don't want to hear that. And. But I think the friends thing is really important, and I think you learn a lot about a person by meeting their friends. So if you've been dating someone for three months now and you've never met their friends, you've never met their family, I'd say three months is a pretty good.

Yeah.

Even two months. Like, don't you think you should have met their friends by now? Or someone.

Yeah. Or, like, at least.

And if you're not, like, I think that says, like, what is. What is he hiding? And. Or what is she hiding? Does she have no friends? And that's.

That's another thing that I was gonna say.

Don't date people who don't have friends. Okay. I have a friend who is married and he's divorced now. And he said, I should have known. She has no friends. And he was like, it was weird. At our wedding, he had, like, six bachelors. She batched whatever they're called. Groomsman, groomsmen. And she couldn't even, like, muster up three. Like, she had to, like, find random friends. Like, that is not a good sign. Because if you have friendships and you relate shows a lot, it tells a lot about your character.

Yeah.

So watch out for that. Never hook up with siblings. Like, with, like, with two brother. With two brothers.

Oh, okay.

Two sisters.

Yeah.

Yeah, a sister. You know, not at the same time, but you could. Or roommates, it says. So you shouldn't hook up with siblings or roommates. I think that's unavoidable. I think people hook up with siblings all the time. Like, you date someone, brother, you didn't work out with the brother, but maybe his brother. I thought his older brother was cuter, and I went out with him. Yeah, but you can avoid hugging up with men or women who are close is sure to result in a dating dilemma. It might be a dilemma. But if you're really honest about it, and like, let's say you dated. Let's say you dated the sister menace and you and the sister went out twice. Three times. It didn't work out. But then, like, a few months later, you meet, like, the younger sister and you probably should check. Hopefully they're close enough that they can discuss if it's cool.

Yeah. But.

But often times this could be a pitfall. This could be. This could be what you did, that.

I've dated sisters. I, like, I hooked up with one and dated one for quite a while. And then, you know, you're. You're out at the nightclub, you had a couple martoonis martinis, a little bit, you know, and, you know, and then you're making out with the sister.

Was it cat fights?

There wasn't cat fights because the best friend of the girl that I dated before was like, she wasn't. She's like. She's like, that's cool that you guys are doing that. She's like, just don't let such and such.

Right. And did she never find out?

I don't know if they ever did. But you know what? I think I hung out with the. The sister again.

Huh.

After that. And never hung out with the. The one that I made out with at the club. And she would not, like, hook up with me.

She wouldn't. She's like.

I think. I think they did talk.

I don't think I've ever. I think that would be cool. I gotta be honest. There's so many people in the world. Why. Why dabble in the same family?

Yeah.

Like, I think it's good to avoid that kind of thing.

Yeah. Personally, I thought it was just circumstances of the kids dining. I was drunk. You know, I'll just be like a chick and just blame it on being drunk all the time.

You do blame it on. You do. You are a chick who blames it on being drunk all the time.

No, I don't, dude. I just promote being drunk all the time.

I know. Are you gonna get drunk this weekend?

No, I'm driving to the party and, you know, I don't drink and drive. I don't condone drinking, driving, ever, ever.

Never ever drink and drive.

So I am. I'm driving everybody to the party. So I'll not be drinking then Saturday maybe. I have no plans. Maybe a little drinking then. And then Sunday I'm working. Even if I'm at concerts.

Working.

Do not drink.

Okay. I gotta keep going here.

Go ahead.

Okay. So don't talk about things your previous lovers did in bed. I 100%. People do this all the freaking time. We get emails about this all the time. Noting a former lover's prowess will only create performance anxiety and unnecessary concern. The second you're like, oh, well, this last guy I was with, I had multiple orgasms. And then he spun me around, and then he gave me this amazing massage, and then he made me eggs Benedict or whatever. Like, do not. You do not want to put the image. I'm talking from a female perspective, but it's the same with men. We don't want to hear about that hot babe you slept with with the blonde, with the whatever's. The big boobs, and I don't even know. I say blonde because I'm brunette. I don't want to hear any stories because you cannot shake those images from your mind. You think you're not measuring I up. Just keep your sexual history in the past, what it is history and never.

We've said this a billion times on the show. Never give out your sex.

Never give out your number. Okay? Also, never ask your partner which of your friends they would sleep with if he wasn't with you. People do this all the time. They do. They might be high, maybe. Maybe they're. Maybe they're doing drugs. But really, you can. You can have a perfectly happy relationship and completely turn it upside down with that simple question. Because then every time that friend comes along, you're like, you. He just wants a boner. He wants a boner. You want a bone Katie, don't you? You want to bone Katie. You want to bone Bob or whatever. You know, it's like, you got to be careful about that. Just don't reveal this stuff. Never reveal the number of sexual partners. We talk about that all the time. That is very important. And never fake an orgasm. Women or men? Men fake orgasms.

Don't listen to her.

But especially why? Huh? What do you mean, don't listen to me? You think women should fake orgasms all the time because it makes you feel better?

Yeah.

No, it is sending a bad message to everyone in the world. This guy thinks that he's rocking your world.

How is it sending a message to the world? Like, are people, like, viewing your. Your. Your sex session?

Never fake it. Even if you think faking it is a selfless, compassionate act that will spare us feelings. It does neither of you any good. You are betraying both. This is the key. When you fake an orgasm, you are betraying both of your sexual needs and your partner's trust in Your sexual communication. So why not say, you know what, honey, I'm not getting there. I kind of need a little bit of this. And then get to the orgasm. Otherwise, if you fake it, it's a slippery slope. Then you got to fake it every time, and it's just sending a bad message. Every time you fake an orgasm, you train your body to believe the fake orgasm is all you're getting.

How many times has guys faked orgasms with you?

Never.

I'm sure they have. I don't know, guys. It's surprising because when we did this show, we've talked about this before, and I actually did a show once, and I got tons of callers from guys who were like, yeah, I fake it. And it's hard for guys to fake it because they have to. They. A lot of them adjust ejaculate when they have orgasms. Many men do ejaculate when they have orgasms.

But I guess if there's a condom on, you can kind of just.

Yeah, you can kind of go.

Have you faked it?

No, no, no, no. I'm going in. I'm going in for the long haul. Like, I. I'm not gonna stop and tell all I do, you know, never.

Ask if it's in yet.

That would be insulting. Nothing will bring your partner down like asking them if it's in yet. Okay. And never be afraid to show them what feels good. A person whose, you know, sexual confidence is huge, huge in the bedroom. So that's what we got time for today. And also. I know, but I also have to give a shout out to Adam and Eve, who is our loyal, loyal, loyal sponsor. And they've got the best sex toys on the planet. Everything that you want. They have laundry, they have porn, but they have sex toys. And they're having a huge sale right now. But plus, if you just go there and you use coupon code Emily at checkout, you get 50 off most items. And you get three adult DVDs. You get free shipping. You get another free thing, like a free gift, Like. Like, it's crazy what you got. So just go online and get your sex toys up this weekend. It's Friday. Go buy a sex toy. It's time. Everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show. I appreciate everyone for listening to Sex with Emily and becoming friends with benefits members. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at Good Vibrations Good Vibrations the sex positive store carrying the best toys with an informative website@good vibes.com I got my very first toy from Good Vibrations, so I've been a fan for a long time and they never disappoint. They have a huge online store, good vibes.com and you can literally find anything on there from toys to DVDs to games. Just click on the Good Vibrations banner at sex with emily.com and enter coupon code GV Emily20 for 20% off on orders of $100 or more. So check it out, you'll help yourself and you'll help keep Sex with Emily free, just like it should be. Thanks for listening. I promise your sex life will improve. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. Benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being, which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings in just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.com sex with Emily for 50% off. And here's a bonus. Use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A L I A life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.