SWE: Dirty Talk

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacredness, institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcast, sign up for our mailing list RSS feed and look for some new special news coming soon. We got some big news coming, so pay attention to that today's show. This is our 45 minute show and we'll be reading the emails that you sent to feedback sexwithemily.com Some of the topics include a wife admits to her husband she's never had an orgasm. A happy couple writes in about their sex life and how they make it work, an oral sex tip for women, performance anxiety and one night stands. Those are some of the emails. Plus we'll be giving you some sex tips. Five things you don't want to know about your boyfriend or girlfriend's sex history.

We left that as a cliffhanger last time.

We did. We never got around to it, did we, Mana?

No.

Hi. How you doing?

I'm great.

How's your week going?

My week is really, really good. It's busy.

What have you been doing?

I've been doing a lot or who.

Have you been doing?

Who have I been doing? I've been doing. Oh, God. I've been doing.

Oh, Billy.

I've been doing some sex. Yeah.

Doing some. Some sex.

I've been doing some sex. I've been doing some of the sex. Yeah. I have to say that I have been doing some of the sex.

How's that been going for you?

It's okay. Do you think you can teach someone to talk dirty?

Can you teach somebody to talk dirty?

Yeah.

Is it a man, do you think?

Is it a man or a woman you're born with? Okay, well, here's the thing. I was out with a friend last night who's married and he was saying that he really wants his wife to talk dirty. And he's like, she's just not into it. He's like, she used words like love and he's like, that's not a really good dirty talk word. So I was like, I don't know if you can. Because then I'm been with this guy and he's like, doesn't like dirty. He doesn't know it, doesn't get it. Can you? Eventually. I think I'm a natural.

Yeah.

It just comes to me. Yeah. I don't know.

Like a trucker.

It's one of my gifts. Yeah, no, that's different. You think a trucker is good at dirty talk? They're good at swearing.

Yeah.

But I think that dirty talk, I'm just a natural. I've picked it up over the years. I've had several sex partners. One of two. And.

Take that part out. I've had several sex partners. No, I believe that.

You can teach a man, but you can't teach a woman.

Really?

That's the sexist in me. But I believe that, yeah, you can't.

Teach a woman because they might have some.

They're not into it. They're not into it. But a man, I think a man, it's just. They are just not comfortable with it. But then they could. They could get into it.

Right. I wonder why. This guy, he's like, yeah, I'm not that into it. I don't really get it. So I'm not like gonna teach him. And then this guy's wife, he tried and she was like, I love you. I love you, I love you. He's like, that's not hot. That's not hot.

That's bad.

That is bad. And so, so there's that. And then I also we some announcements coming. We big announcement coming in a few weeks. But we are going to be doing more shows and I'd love people we're going to start. Okay, so I get all your emails. I read them all. As you know, all the emails people send me, I read. I don't necessarily have the opportunity to answer them all in air, but I'm going to be writing some answers to them. So if people email me and they put Q and A in the subject line, I'm going to post it on Facebook. That means that you're cool with it. I won't use your name. And then we're gonna start a forum on my Facebook page which is Sex with Emily. And my Twitter is also Sex with Emily.

By the way, I just tweeted you.

You just tweeted me. What's your information?

It's white menace.

That's so easy. White menace across the board. And now I'm almost Sex with Emily across the board.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good. Thanks. I've changed things my social because I'm a social media expert and so. Yeah, okay. So I was also wondering if this. My friend called me and he was like, he's doing some. He's a photographer and we're actually doing new headshots for the website and we're doing all this stuff and he was like, I really have. I've been flirting with this woman that I met on Facebook and I want to ask her out. But it's been going back and forth and I was like, just pick up the phone and call her. I feel like that every phone call used to be what we had to do right before the Internet, all that. And now when you get a phone call from a guy, it really makes a difference. It's like this novel approach. And I was like, just pick up the phone. And I think it's like bold. Like, it says something because no one makes the phone call. The phone calls become like this. This, like, other thing. You know what I'm trying to say? What's the word? The phone calls become like this special. Like it's become a statement. It's become like if you. If you pick up the phone and call someone, it's bold move. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, it's like a bold, like, don't do the emails and the tweets back and forth and the texting, why can't I talk to him? And the text and the texting. Just pick up the phone and call. Like, lately I've had guys who have just picked up the phone and called me. And I think that's so hot.

Did you answer the phone every time?

No, not.

I think that's what the guys are afraid of that you're not gonna pick up. Then you're in this weird zone because then you fear. You fear that you look like a weirdo because you called twice in a row.

Well, don't. I didn't say call twice.

I know, but once.

Yeah, if don't call twice.

But then the guy gets in his own, like, damn. Now I can't call her again because she didn't pick up.

Right? But a lot of times I don't pick up on the first time.

And I don't see. And I don't leave messages. It's just a missed call for me, really.

See, that's not good.

I'm not going to leave a message because I'm going to sound like a tool.

Why do you say that? You never leave messages. Do you know?

Because I sound stupid.

No, you don't.

Hey, so I just wanted to call you because.

Because you're. You're not prepared to leave a message.

I'm not saying that you should ask her out in the message. Just be like, hey, it's Menace. What's up? Call me back. Blah, blah, blah, five, five, five.

Hey, how you doing? Good looking? Yeah, compliment her.

Tell her she's hot.

Hey, hottie, how you doing?

Your ass doesn't look fat in those jeans.

Yeah. By the way, your ass doesn't look fat. And holla at me, holla at me. And here's my number. Yeah, I just can't do it.

I think that was really good advice that I gave to him. And he was like, you're right. And he picked up the phone, called her, and they're going out because he's been emailing her for weeks. I'm like, just call her. Get her number. He's like, I don't know her number. I'm like, ask for her number and then call her. Because lately I feel like the phone. The phone call for a while was just like, you don't do it, but now when you do it, it means something special. I'm trying to say. And then in other news, I've got a building, an apartment building that I live in, and there's six units and it's been overrun by lesbians.

Yeah.

And it's awesome because they are all having sex all the time.

Yeah. With each other.

I don't think the people on my floor are having sex with the people below, but there's lesbians next to me and there's lesbians below me.

Yeah.

And the ones. But I can't tell. It's hard in my building, tell if it's the ones below me or next to me. Just the way the acoustics are. But seriously, they have sex all. You know, you hear about, like, lesbian bed death syndrome, how lesbians move in together and they, you know, they don't have sex anymore. These lesbians are going at it. I mean, it's hot. Like, it's turning me on. Yeah. They're like having, like orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. And then there's like, slapping, like. I think they're into like, S and M. Sweet. It's totally spiced up my whole life. Seriously. I come home, I'm like, when are the lesbians get it on again? You know, I don't have tv, so I'm like, hey, one of the lesbians gonna have sex again?

You should have like a potluck and just meet everybody.

You think I should?

Like, hey, you know, we're gonna have a class of wine. I'll watch you guys have sex.

Yeah. But everyone hates me because I'm loud.

Yeah.

I'm the one with the five inch heels that the lesbians next door to me always knock on my door and they're like, can you please take your shoes off? Because I have five inch heels. So I think they hate me, but they're like, hot. They're all hot. I can't believe it. So it's. It's made my life a lot more fun.

Interesting. I think you should become friends with them. You say you need to do research.

I need to do research.

Yeah. I'm not saying you have to have sex with them, but at least, you know, get some war stories for us.

Well, it's really interesting how the women having sex. I mean, obviously I've seen, like, women having sex, like, porn or whatever, but, like, they mean literally. These. These sex sessions go on. There's like the middle of the day. Like, Saturday afternoon, I'm cleaning my toilet and I'm hearing, like, scream. Like, or, like, literally, like, one of the woman. Women goes, and she'll have like three or four. And then another woman has, like three or four orgasms, and it's just. It's awesome.

Wow.

I know.

And then you go to tourist attractions. You're like, those bitches having three orgasms.

Seriously. Okay, that's a whole other discussion. I should be a lesbian because I seriously think that women just know each other's. We know the bodies.

Oh, isn't that funny? Because maybe that's what I've been trying to say the whole time with the whole hand job debate.

What?

You just got caught right now?

No, I didn't.

I feel that women know other women. That's why I'm just saying I feel that a man would know how to give a hand job to himself better than a woman because he knows himself better.

No, no, no. Oh, boom, boom. Shut the heck up. You know what you're talking about. No, that's so different. I'm just saying you should have variety. Variety. No, you're so wrong. Menace.

If one we can put it to.

Bed, then we can't put it to bed because I can't tell you how many. Oh, I'm. Someone's interviewing me. Someone has a podcast, and I can't remember their name right now. I'm sorry, I will plug you next week. But they're interviewing me on their podcast Sunday night. And they're like, just want you to know, it's a dating podcast they have. And I think they live in the east coast. It's like a husband and wife, and they have a dating podcast. And they're like, we're on it, but we just want you to know that we side with Menace on the hand job.

God damn right they do.

No one understands why I'm right then, because I am right. I'm not saying. Saying it's The. Oh, we're going to have to get into it, okay? I don't even want to get into it right now. So that's. Yeah. So what's your week like?

My week is just full of work. I went out last night, though. It was cool. Just went. Had a dinner.

With a girl? Yeah.

With a girl. Was it a date? I guess you could call it that.

Did you have. Did she suck on your penis?

No, no, no, no.

Okay.

I take it slow with the ones that I like.

Yeah, but maybe she doesn't take it slow, huh? Maybe I don't take it slow. Well, so you like her? Yeah, but where'd you take her to dinner?

We just went to some. Some Starbucks.

Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Look, I remember when you were on.

Your Starbucks diet for five minutes.

That was good. I wish I could do it, but I had to go to a bunch of parties, right? It was. I love Starbucks. Starbucks is amazing.

I love Starbucks.

I'm not. They don't sponsor me or anything.

I wish they sponsored me. That would be an awesome sponsor.

But to get back to it is. I'm not gonn.

Out with a girl that needs to go to a place that needs reservations.

Oh, God. I don't ask these men to make reservations.

You don't ask them?

I don't. You know what? Oh, oh, here's something that came up. Okay, so here's another thing. So this guy I've been dating, he's like.

We were dating on. Well, I guess we've been dating for a few months. And he is like, you know, I just want you to know that I've planned everything that we've done, and you have never made a plan. And I realized that that's true. And we're still in the early stages.

Setting himself up for a disaster.

I was like, dude, I don't plan anything. I'm not a planner. I don't plan. And he was like, I just like you to plan something. And I'm like, what do you want me to plan?

You can never ask, what, should we.

Go to Alcatraz for the day? What do you want to do?

He is setting himself up for disaster. You never can ask a woman, hey, where do you want to eat? I don't know. Wherever you want to.

But he's saying that would be their.

Response every single time.

But he's saying after a few months dating that I have not made an effort.

Made an effort. No.

Make a plan.

I don't think it's that. It's just natural that women. You don't ask them where to go.

He's saying I should initiate and be like, hey, why don't we go to the museum today? Or maybe we can go to the aquarium.

Oh, no.

So I didn't do that.

And I got in trouble screwing up, right?

No, he's not. He's just like, whatever. And I was like, listen, dude, I'm not a planner. I'll do a lot of other things. I'm really good in the sack. I feel like. It's like, you want gun the sack, or do you want me to, like, take you to the zoo? What do you want? Yeah, you know, So I think gun the sack. But what am I gonna. You know, what am I gonna say?

What was your response to that? What was his response to that?

He was like. I said, listen. He's like, why don't you make a plan tomorrow? And then he called me in the morning, Sunday morning. He's like, so, did you make a plan? I said, listen, I do not make plans. No, I didn't make a plan. I'm not seeing you today. I'll see you.

Disaster. Every single time. Fellas, do not do it.

Sure. Was it gonna put together a picnic back. I mean, the whole thing plan. And I'm not a planner because I'm so busy and I'm always working all the time. So I was like, I'm just gonna.

But see, the thing is with women that will drive me effing crazy is. Where do you want to go eat? I don't know. Anywhere. That's fine. Okay, we're gonna go here. Oh, man, I don't really want to eat there. Okay, where do you want to eat? You know, just anywhere but that one place. Okay, let's go eat here. No. You know where you want to effing eat?

You do you have an idea in your mind of a place that you.

Want to date men who are planners? I don't plan it, and I don't care, and I'm fine. And I'll eat anything anywhere.

That takes reservations.

Okay, well, that's nicer. Those are the better restaurants.

Oh, are they?

Yes.

No.

You walk into a place, and it's empty.

It's all show.

You really want to eat there?

It's all show.

Empty.

It's all show.

Why isn't anyone eating there Saturday night? It's empty. You should watch that place over there. You need reservations here? It's empty. Yeah, let's have something. I'd love to have some chicken.

You should watch Penn and Teller's Bullshit. And they have the, this a TV show. And it's just like how they, you know, say they get these people and they go, oh, this is one of the most expensive wines out there. And then these are like wine experts. And they're drinking and they're like, oh yeah, this is so good. And it's like Two Buck Chuck.

You love this story. You've told this one about the two Buck Chuck in the wine.

No, I see you never listen to me. I'm just saying that I'm a fan of Two Buck Chuck. And now you're saying that I told you this story before.

No, you've told me the story about how they're not this particular story, but how there was like a wine tasting and then people think they know wine. Maybe it wasn't you. It wasn't me, but I've heard that before. Okay, let's move into some sex in the news.

Go for it.

We've got a lot of sex news and I appreciate a lot of listeners send me sex in the news, which makes my life a lot easier. So thanks everyone. You can always send me stuff. Feedbackextwithemily.com okay. Casual sex. Men and women, not so different after all. There's new research that suggests women turn down offers of casual sex for one good reason. They suspect with some reason they won't enjoy it. However, these women are saying that when women are presented with prosper with proposals who are equivalent in terms of safety and sexual prowess, they will equally likely as men to engage in casual sex. So it's saying that men and women, women are more likely to engage in casual sex. However, the difference is, is that this whole evolutionary thing that focuses on. So for example, women are more choosy about their partners because they're looking for men who are likely to stick around and provide support during their child rearing years. Men, on the other hand, have an evolutionary incentive to spread their seed. So it's that whole evolutionary thing. So they're saying that women are really open to having casual sex. However, they don't feel as good about it after, but they're open to it. Like they feel like, oh, this guy maybe wasn't so right for me or whatever.

Well, yeah, because they can be more choosy because they can't. Women can have sex whenever they want.

I know you always say that, but it's true. That is true. That is true.

They can have sex whenever they want so that they can afford to be more choosy, but guys can't.

But I think that the whole notion of the study was that, like, women they met, you kind of assume that men are more down for casual sex. But this is saying that women are down.

Yeah, they're just as down. They're just down. Don't you think?

Even in this day and age, more and more so.

Oh, yeah. There's a bunch of floozies out there.

Right here.

What's up?

Check, please. Okay, I think I already talked about this a few weeks ago, but whatever did. I think I did. But I like this story anyway, that a man is more than twice as likely to continue dating a woman if she has cheated on him with another woman than if she's cheated on him with another man. So this was. Because this was in the New York Times did a big piece on it. So I figured I'd bring it up again if I already did bring it up, which I don't remember, but I think I might have. But the point is, is that a man is not upset if a woman cheats on him with another woman.

Yeah, that's hot.

What if. Okay, here's my question. What if you're not there, but she was like, honey, you know, last night, menace, you know, your girlfriend.

That she was cheating?

I think it would depend on the situation. No, was she cheating?

Is it cheating if you're hooking up with someone?

I mean, do I know that she has a past with hanging. Hooking up with women?

Yeah, you do.

So I already know that.

Maybe it's not a heavy pass, but she's got a sprinkled pass.

She has a sprinkle. What, she a cupcake?

Yeah.

Okay.

She had like one or two, and then all of a sudden she was at a party without you.

She's at a party and she was with the chick?

Yeah.

I don't. I think I'd be more open to not being as mad if it was. But if it was a dude, she'd be cut off.

She'd be done.

Yeah.

Right. Okay.

I'm just curious, but I'm not saying that I still want to dump her because then I feel maybe at that point she might just leave me for a chick. Anyways, that's how my mind would probably.

Right.

So I'll probably just have to.

But maybe she just likes to.

Well, maybe if I saw the other chick and the chick was super hot, then I'd be like, all right, cool. I understand.

You're like, next time.

Yeah, yeah, let's hang.

Yeah. I'm just wondering what you think. I had a conversation with a guy that I was dating.

About this too.

And I was like, well, do you. Would you care if I hooked up with a woman? He's like, you know what? Yeah, I would. He's like, that's still cheating. He's like, that's still you. We've decided that we're. Let's say.

Was this guy being serious?

Yeah. He's like, we're exclude. Let's say that we are exclusive, which will never happen.

Yeah, go ahead.

Oh, my God. It will happen. It will. I will be exclusive one day.

Yeah.

Huh. So. So he. So he was like, yeah, if you hooked up with a woman. We decided that we were gonna be exclusive. And you. And often had sexual relations with someone else. That is cheating. So. I wonder how people feel about that.

I wonder what plant this guy lives on.

God, you don't like anyone I date. You've never met any of them.

Because the stories that you tell me, they're just tools, man.

They're not tools, all right? You're just not my dude.

I just don't understand.

That statement. I'm sorry. It's so hard for me to understand.

It's okay. Okay. Penthouse 3D porn channel launches in Europe. Did you hear about this?

Yes.

Penthouse magazine has decided to roll out the world's first 3 3D porn channel in Europe this week. It's no secret that the porn industry has been pushing the boundaries of technology, technological innovation for years now. So it's. Yeah, 3D. Would you watch 3D? Oh, you're not really that into porn, but three porn.

I'll probably check it out for, like, the technical stuff, just to see how good it was.

I'd be into it. I gotta watch more porn in 2011.

Okay.

It's on my list of resolutions, which I haven't met any of them, really. Oh, one of them, sort of, but I can't get into it now. Okay. This one got emailed to me. A bunch Northwestern students treated to live sex in class. Did you hear about this? Northwestern University, a professor has stirred up controversy by holding a demonstration in which hundreds of students watched a woman get penetrated with a sex toy by her boyfriend. The class, which treats human sexuality as a subject for scientific inquiry. It's a. It's a human sexuality class is taken by more than 600 students. Scientists are secretly having way more fun than those lab coats and nerdy safety goggles would indicate. So, yeah, so these. So this woman and man, like, with her boyfriend, they went and they said. Everyone in the class, they said to the students, if you want to leave, this is Gonna get graphic and you can leave. And they got on stage.

Nobody left.

No, some people left. In fact, there was an interview, one of the articles, as this woman said, I was uncomfortable, and I left. I didn't want to see it. I would so stay. I would so stay. I'd be like, I'm staying overtime. Can you do that again? She goes uptight, but people are really, really.

Put her on the do, do not date list.

She was with her boyfriend. She wasn't.

No, I'm saying the. The one that left.

Oh, the one that left. Yeah. You're like. You're uptight. But I think some people were just like, yeah, Northwestern in the Midwest. Northwestern University, Right? Yeah, Chicago. Anyway, I never took human sexuality in college, but now I'm now in my. I haven't talked about school in so long, you know?

I know. I was. I was just thinking that because I.

Took off a semester, because I got. So.

What?

Already started again. I already took off as a master, but I. I have so much school work to do, so I just couldn't finish. But I'm starting again in June for a month, and it's gonna be intense, and everyone's gonna be hearing about all my sex stuff. So again, so don't think that I'm not doing it because I haven't brought it up lately. It just means that I've been super busy.

Okay.

Talking to you.

I'm gonna be on you about that.

Yeah. Okay. Because I love sex school and I have all these friends. All my new sex friends. Okay, let's get into some.

Hold on. One news story you missed.

Oh, okay, tell me.

It was just out that the BYU basketball star.

Oh.

Got kicked out because he had sex. Because he admitted that he had sex until they kicked him out.

Yeah. The star basketball player for Brim Bremin. I say BYU because I can't say it.

You can't say Bring them. Yeah.

He admitted that he had sex and.

They kicked him off because you're supposed to be virgins.

Mm.

That's crazy. Still, in this day and age, they expect that all those students are virgins.

Yes. And they all.

I did see that story.

Except for him.

Exactly. Exactly. I can't believe that. I did see that. I forgot to put that in there. I saw that. That is crazy. Oh, here's one more funny sex story. Anyway, I can't believe that Brigham Young University. I mean, like, I understand the Mormons. Whatever. I dated a Mormon once. That's besides the point. I get it. But seriously, like, that's such A false world to live in. Yeah. Oh, he's. He was a fallen Mormon, so he was raised Mormon, but no longer Mormon. And he's got some issues, but not around sex. He's awesome, but he was raised Mormon. Like, you're not supposed to drink. You're not. So his whole family, like, no sex?

Well, half my family's Mormon, so I know all about it.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I remember that.

Why are you shocked that you remember something about me?

Because everything that happens in here is like a vacuum bubble, and then it goes away. Okay. Drunk priest offers sex to police.

Hell, yeah.

Did you hear this? Many people have been drunk.

Is it a woman?

Many. No, it's. It's actually a priest. He offers sex to police. So many. Many people have been drunk. Many have talked to the police. Drunk. Some have even had the misfortune of talking to the police. Drunk from the backseat. But when you're a priest who gets pulled over for drunk driving, you might want to quit while you're ahead. Father Ignatius Curry recently forgot this last tidbit of information. And when a DUI landed him in jail for the night, he became desperate to get out. Blowjob. Desperate. Special thanks to the officers for whipping out the video camera instead of pressing charges. So he, like, offered them sex. The police officers. And he was drunk. A priest. Not good. That's, like, so not good all around.

Way to get the. He offered a blowjob to get out of prison.

Yeah.

What's wrong with that?

I have no idea, but it's probably not a good thing. And you're a priest. But not that the priest. I mean, it's not like priests are. You know, they're. All.

Right.

Priests can have sex, right? No, I don't know anything.

Priests can't have sex, can they? No.

The priests.

No. They have sex with little boys sometimes.

No, they're not supposed to. Don't say that.

They do. What are you talking about?

You're not throwing all of them. Not all the.

But it's in the paper all the time that you hear these stories.

I don't want to get into that.

Okay, we won't get into that. Would you like to get into some emails?

Yes, please.

Why don't we get into that? Okay. Okay. All right. Emily. Hello. I'm married to my beautiful wife of eight years. Though our sex life is good, it's not great. Over the last couple of weeks after Dirty texting with. With the wife is when she disclosed. Okay, let me read. This is the important part. I'm gonna read it again. Over the last couple of weeks after dirty texting with wife is when she disclosed that she's never had an orgasm through sex. And I was shocked. Do you know specific positions to achieve this goal? I've tried the legs up with the pillows to no success. I don't mind bringing in toys to make our sex life exciting. I mentioned our home flick and she sounded game. To make our own home flick and she sounded game. I've started listening to your show over the last two weeks and I enjoy it thoroughly. Menace is funny. Whatever. P.S. what is pre gaming? I think I spelled it wrong. Skeeter in Atlanta.

Okay, well, it's in your name. Skeeter.

What?

Pre gaming.

Pre gaming.

You know, skeet is.

A street term for ejaculation.

No.

Yeah.

I didn't know that. You and I have such disparate knowledge on things, which is why we come together as a whole person.

Yes.

Right. Okay, so first of all, we'll get to pre gaming in a minute. But the first thing we have to address, he's been with his wife for eight years and she just admitted via text message that she's never had an orgasm. So during intercourse. So first of all, I'm curious. You know, a woman, the responsibility of the orgasm lies on the woman. It is the woman's responsibility to communicate how she needs to get, you know, what she needs to have an orgasm during sex. I think that we're all raised at least I thought this for a long time, that the man is supposed to be in charge of giving you orgasm. But if she's not communicating it, I'm wondering how for eight years she had sex and not had an orgasm.

So I don't. He said he's trying positions and he's putting her heads up over her feet, up over her head. And the truth is I would just kind of pull back and wonder like, does she ever. Has she ever had an orgasm? Like, does she know? Because a woman's likely not going to have an orgasm during intercourse if she doesn't know how to have one herself. So she could should show him. Does she, you know, masturbate? Does she know how to an orgasm? There's ways to incorporate that. And maybe a lot of women, only 30% of women can actually have orgasms during intercourse. So that's not such a shocker. That's not weird to me. The part is that she's never told him and he's been thinking that she has. So then I'm wondering, has she been faking it? Did he not ever pay attention? I don't know. But I would just kind of take some time exploring each other's bodies. Have her show you it feels good. And sure, bring in some sex toys. I think he mentioned that sex toys are awesome. During sex you get a little bullet or a little, A little pocket rocket. There's those vibrators that are made great, that are great for sex. Yeah. To use during sex.

Oh my God. Did I tell you the bullet story?

No. You have a sex toy story? No. What?

I was over at a friend's house and I was helping her make her bed, put it together and.

I was like getting all the pieces. And then I look over and I see this like silver object, right? And it had like a black tip on it and it looks like a bullet. I'm like, this is the bullet. She's like mortified. I was like. She's like, no, it's. No, it's not. I'm like, dude, it's the bullet. I'm like, look. And I. And I turned it on and it started vibrating. She almost died.

Oh, I'm sure she's not someone that you're sexual with.

No.

Right. She's just embarrassing. Like her vibrator sitting around. That's awesome. Yeah, I guess she lost it at film, so. Okay, so I think you guys have to have a lot of. A lot of talks and eight years together. You just. I think this is exciting though, Skeeter, because you have a whole great chance. Start over right now. Like just relaunch your whole sex life. Like make a home sex flick. You said you want to do that. Bring in sex toys and start talking. Start talking about your fantasies. You know, you got to just blow it up. And you want to know what pre gaming is, Menace?

Well, first off, before that, I want to say that you should sit down her vagina and say, look, you're gonna have an orgasm. One of you just talk to her vagina. Yeah, just talk to her vagina say, look, this is gonna happen.

I wish it was that easy. I wish it was that easy. I would talk to mine all friggin time.

Pre gaming. We'll go into the pre gaming now. It's just basically giving yourself some time before you have sex. I'll say a good couple hours where you masturbate. That's pretty much it.

Right? And so men don't have. A lot of men have issues with they orgasm quicker than they'd like to. And when that happens, sometimes if you masturbate before you have sex, you'll be less likely to have an orgasm right away. Right away. Okay. But speaking of sex toys, we gotta talk. Give a shout out to Adam and Eve. We love Adam and Eve. Our sponsors and everyone's been writing in. They begin some great sex toys from Adam and Eve. So you can get, like. They have every sex toy under the sun. They have lingerie, they have DVDs. And there's a huge discount that they're offering it, and it's the perfect time to try it. You get 50% off of most items to all of the loyal Sex with Emily listeners. And they throw in three adult DVDs, which are super sexy. They sent me one today just as a gift. And I was like, whoa, I'm gonna go home and watch it tonight. Happy Friday for me. Just go to AdamAndEve.com and enter coupon code Emily at checkout. It's that easy. So take advantage of this deal today, everyone. Go buy a sex toy already. Buy a pocket rocket. Buy a bullet. Buy a vibrating ring. I think I'm gonna buy a vibrating ring for this guy that I've been dating because it's his birthday, and you know how much I love the vibrating rings.

So it's a gift for you.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

Is that bad?

Yes.

I think he'd like it.

Yeah, I'm sure you would love it.

He'd love it. Okay. That sounds awesome.

Another thing is, you mentioned lingerie, and you said you want to talk about this on the show.

Okay.

And I. Speaking about mortified.

I have a special fan from my other radio show that's been sending me letters and saying that they would like to go out with me and all this stuff.

Right.

And today before. Just before you got to the building, I got another package. And you can explain what was in the package.

So I walk in to see Menace at the station, and he's like, ah, look what I got. I don't. I don't know what to do about this. And he pulls out. It's a package. And he pulls out some lingerie that someone. A woman. I assume it's a woman who has a crush, sent you lingerie, which is interesting because does she think you're gonna wear it? You're gonna wear it with. She's gonna wear it with you. I don't know what she's thinking. Yeah, a red, little, like, teddy thing and these little. And I'm gonna actually wear. I'm actually gonna take it because it's cute and it's small. It would fit me. And a box of chocolates Menace was afraid to eat the chocolates. Yeah, because he's afraid she's trying to poison him. Maybe.

Yeah.

But I ate them, and I feel totally fine right now.

That's cool. I got a package with lingerie and chocolates that doesn't even have a return address. And you're eating the chocolate?

It has a zip code. We looked up the zip code, and it's in Walnut Creek.

That's great. I do not want any lingerie, though. No, she sent me some letter, like, she wants to go out with me, and she loves my voice, which I don't know why. Because my voice is bad.

No.

And I don't. I don't know, but that is hilarious.

She said, you lingerie.

It's crazy.

I. It's crazy. But I love the writing.

The writing in it looks like. Like a preschooler wrote in it. Oh, it's crazy.

She thinks she's in jail.

I don't know.

I used to get. Prisoners used to write me emails.

Oh, my God.

Do you remember that? From Alcatraz. Yeah. Not Alcatraz, but you just jogged San Quentin, not Alcatraz.

My God, you jog my memory. Because I do, on my other radio show, talk about a women's prison a lot. Because every time I mention a city, I talk about the men. The women's prison there, and I go, what's up to all the lovely ladies in the women's prison.

Really? Do you think she's in?

I don't know, but should we check.

Like, that there's no knives. Are you hiding, like, no razor blades in the chocolates? I actually want another one right now. No, I don't. I don't. Okay. That's hilarious. Okay. Speaking of lingerie, though.

Yeah.

This is. Was my part of lingerie. Is that so this guy likes that I'm seeing. Likes lingerie, which I appreciate, because you don't. I know. Not that it ever affected me because we've never been together, but I don't really have that much. He's like, oh, I like the matching and blah, blah, blah. So, like, went shopping to get some stuff, and there's, like. It's all kind of cheesy out there.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I know. You always say that, and it's true. It's like leopard and lace.

I don't think it's changed since the 80s.

I know. I know. So I was like, where did you.

Where are you gonna go?

I went to Victoria's Secret. Yeah. Because that's what it was Right by my office.

Victoria's Secret is decent.

It's decent. I should go to like. Like Marcus or Nordstrom's or something. But Bloomies or Bloomingdale's. I bet Blooming. You know what? I'm gonna go to Bloomingdale's. I love Bloomingdale's. There was a guy who used to listen to the show who wanted to buy me shoes. Do you remember that?

Yes.

I so wish I took him up on that. Just thought about that. Okay. Hello, Emily. Like you, I will keep this email short and sweet. Ah, that's nice. I write you from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and I recently discovered your awesome podcast, where have youe Been My Whole Life. I am playing catch up. To get through all 200 podcasts you have, I want to quickly throw my two cents. Canadian, that is. I wanted to quickly talk about foreplay and handjobs. Me personally, I love foreplay. It's the best part. Nothing is better than going down on a woman. I absolutely love, love, love it. More guys should do that. As for hand jobs, I personally love them, too. For me, it's a way to get off without my own hand, which always feels great. I don't need sex all the time. I'm a happy camper. Just getting off. Keep up with great work and love your sexy voice. Your newest and biggest Canadian fan, Warren K. Thanks, Warren. I love men who love foreplay. I just think that, like I said, this is my married friend that I was out with last night. I was saying there's men who love. I've said this before on the show, and I don't think I've said in a while, and I'm going to say it again. Men who love the vagina and men don't love vagina. And there's men who are way into oral sex and they want to do it, and there's men who don't. And again, just like, can you convince a man to start talking dirty? Can you convince a man to love the vagina? And I think it's an intimacy thing, too. I think men who have intimacy issues are not as comfortable with oral sex. That's just what I'm putting out there.

I just don't think they're comfortable with your vagina.

Not mine. Mine's awesome. What do you mean?

No, I'm just, you know, they're not comfortable. I'm very selective with the vaginas that I talk to personally.

Really? Yeah. But they don't.

Look, we're not. We know, but we have to get. Not to cut you off. But we have to get into those five things.

Oh, my God. Today is like racing. But. But. Okay, we're gonna move into some sex topics. Here's the five things you don't want to know about your boyfriend's history. This applies to five things a guy doesn't want to know about girlfriend's history as well. So just use this interch. Ready? You don't want to know his number or her number.

Oh, yeah, sexy.

You know the number. You don't want to know how they slept with, and I can't tell you. We've talked about this before. You know that whole saying, whoever you sleep with, you're sleeping with whoever they slept with. And if we extend that logic, every time someone has sex, it's gonna be like. It's like the entire world they've had sex with. So just like, guys don't want to know your number, you don't know theirs. But I feel like no matter how common sense this is, that there's always that conversation. They're like, how many of you slept with? Like, never, ever tell. It's never a good idea.

And if a girl is pressuring me, I will never, ever, never tell.

I was talking to this guy about it, and he's like, if a girl does tell me, I just multiply by three because she's lying. Yeah. Do you think that's true?

Totally true.

Yeah. I would lie for sure. I would lie for sure. And you for sure should multiply by three if I ever tell you. But yeah.

And then a guy multiply. You should divide it by three if a guy tells you, too.

Exactly. Yeah. Right. Because the guys like to play it up. The women play their number down. Okay. Number two, what his last girlfriend was like. Or boyfriend, what her last boyfriend was like in the sack. We do not want to know. We don't want to know what the sex was like. This is one of those loaded questions guys don't want to answer because it can turn into a competition between the woman you're dating and the woman you really don't want to think about anymore, who doesn't even know the competition is happening. The worst is when you meet your ex in public with your current girlfriend who's trying to top her in the sack. It makes an already incredibly awkward interaction just that much worse, especially if your girlfriend goes into the woman's room and your ex with your ex to grill her for tips. So what to ask instead, what he likes in the sack? Always a safe topic. Not what the last girl was like in the sack. You never, ever want to know that. You don't want to know what the girl was like. The guy was like, I don't want to hear about it. Don't ask. Okay. You don't want to know what kind of porn he looks at. Number three. Yes, your boyfriend's likely looking at porn. Porn and its cohort whacking it, are the same as eating a small bag of pretzels for a guy when he's hungry. It's satisfying briefly, but it'll need something better later. More to the point. It's inevitable guys will, in their porn star searches, stumble upon something bizarre. Seriously, there's some suddenly weird stuff out there and you watch it because you can't quite believe there are people into this kind of thing. And it'll be hilarious to tell your friends about later. But as a result, just, it's. It might sit in your browser history. Don't. Don't search on his computer. He's probably looking at some porn and you don't want to know what it is. What to ask instead, what he likes to do when he's going solo. You can pick up some tips for when you get a handle on him, if you know what I mean. Okay, Another thing. You don't want to know where he learned the thing. That thing that you like. Really want to know where he picked this up or from who? Think about this for a minute. He could have learned it from. From long experience or maybe the Internet. Or maybe he learned it from that douchebag friend of his you hate. Imagine every. I love that word. Douchebag. I do not use it enough.

Yeah, let me embrace it.

They need to embrace it. Imagine every time he does that thing, suddenly you're having an image of that person doing it to them. So it's a two way street. Guys don't want to know where you learned your tricks either, but.

No way.

No way. But do you ever wonder if a girl's really good and bad at you? Like she. How is she so good?

I'm putting it out of my mind.

You're like, I'm psyched. I'm getting a great oral sex treat right now.

Yeah.

What to ask instead, what things do what things you do that he likes? It's a good way to figure out what else to try. Okay. And finally, I think this is number five. Yes. Your ranking. First of all, if guys actually rank their girlfriends according to sexual prowess, they're being an ass. Secondly, you don't want to know where you fall on the list. Not that you will ever know because he'll never tell you even if you're not number one. He's not going to lie. He is going to lie unless he's stupid or wants to hurt your feelings and it's a mute point anyway. Great sex is great sex, but it's hard to get it wrong in the first place. Blah, blah, blah. So what to ask instead of if there's anything he'd like to try catering to your partner's needs is how to get great sex. And don't forget, he should be doing things you want to try as well. So those are things you should not ask about.

It's common knowledge.

Common knowledge. Okay.

Do not give up your number no matter how many times he or she asks you.

Never.

Never. Don't do it.

Okay. I also have to give a shout out here. Never. Seriously. The number I did in my youth. I would, but the number wasn't as high then, so. Okay. Tune Up Media is another one of our sponsors. Yes, and I love Tune Up Media, everyone. They've been getting a lot of people. A lot of our listeners have actually been signing up for Tune up because it's awesome. It's the number one selling plugin for itunes and Windows Media Player. It fixed all your mislabeled music, like those annoying Track 0 ones, unknown artists and bands spelled five different ways, which is so my itunes. My itunes is disaster. So it clean, intelligently identifies and fills in missing information using acoustic fingerprinting, the same technology that powers Shazam for the iPhone. So it fills in your missing cover art and there's no more gray music notes. And it's awesome. So you can try Tune up for free. You can download Tune Up Lite and see if you like it. And if you like it, which you will, I promise you, you can get 20% off tune up gold with promo code sexwithemily. That's tuneupmedia.com.

It'S like Emily tuning up your computer.

It is like that, isn't it?

Yeah.

Tune it up, baby.

Okay, just imagine Emily over at your house tuning up your computer.

Yeah.

In the lingerie that my stalker sent me.

I wish it wasn't red, though. I don't wear red. I think it was a Valentine's Day lingerie. Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show. Great to chat with you today. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com how do you forget.

The ending every time.

You'Ve been listening to Sex with Emily with your host, Emily Morris? Have a question about Sex relationships or anything in between. Email emily@feedbackexwithemily.com Want to add Emily to your Facebook or Twitter page? Visit Emily's website, sexwithemily.com where you'll also find the latest Sex with Emily news and Podcasts Archive. Podcasts can be downloaded from itunes from the Stitcher Studios in beautiful San Francisco, California, you've been listening to Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.

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