SWE: Embarrassing Sex Stories

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God. That feels so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you will get all your sex questions answered and you'll be very.

Entertained and you'll get laid automatically.

Maybe if we did that Dial a star thing.

Yes. See, you gotta do it.

I know. There's some website. I was. I just walked in the studio and Menace was showing me. What's it called? Dial a star.

Yeah. It's diaL-A-Star.com. and, like, TMZ was just talking about.

Not that I'm a star for reals, but you could call me and talk. But if. Would you pay 10 bucks an hour? We could have a great minute.

10 bucks a minute? Like, some of these people are making thousands of dollars an hour. It's crazy.

That's crazy. But don't you think we'd have a good chat? So maybe I should do it if you guys all want to talk to me. I mean, I would talk to you for free, but it'd be nice to make a living at some point. Okay, so today. Today's show, our guest is Barbie Davenport. She's a writer for the Village Voice media sex blog after darkla.com and she's gonna talk about sex toys that she loves and embarrassing sex stories. So apparently she's got these really embarrassing CR stories and she's gonna share with us. She's a writer. She's hilarious. We've read all of her stuff.

Cool.

Isn't that awesome? And we're gonna answer your emails, and we're gonna do sex in the news, and we're just gonna have a blast.

I want to know if she can actually make money writing a blog. That's my interesting question. Yeah, you can ask her that because, I mean, I write blogs for work, but, you know, there's a lot more things that I have to do. So I actually get paid to do blogs, but solely I want to know if you can make a living being a blogger.

Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to do.

I mean, but if she has juicy stories, I'm sure she's getting some.

Yeah, she's got some good stories. Exactly. So we're gonna talk about that. And then Kelsey and I, it's very.

Sex in the City.

What? To be a sex blogger?

Yeah.

Yeah, I know. I guess people say that I'm like, Sex in the City with my sex podcast. Yeah, I mean, we blog.

Totes.

Totes, man. It's totally like that.

When are you gonna start hooking up with, like, some really rich guys so I can go on lavish trips and stuff like that? See, that's very Sex in the City.

Soon. Soon, please. No, honey, I promise I'll take you. I'll take you with me. You're coming up with me. When? Next time you come. I wanna.

I want to go somewhere for free.

Look at their watch.

They say private thing, but my watch is very. This watch fools you. I'm wearing a watch right now. That I picked up at Nordstrom's. And people who have millions of dollars that I've run into say, oh my God, that's such an awesome watch.

Who makes it?

I buy this watch for $20 at Nordstrom's and it's called the label is titanium. And they're like, oh my God, that's such a nice watch.

That is a nice watch.

$20.

A stripper told me once who was.

On the show that strippers probably really know watches.

Yeah, they look at guys watches and that's how they know if they're going to get the big box. So if you are going to strip club and you want a stripper's attention, just wear a really nice watch.

Who cares about.

That's what I'm saying. Some guys do want strippers attention.

It's a waste of money.

Guys going to Vegas. I told you that.

Yeah.

Do you go to strip. You don't go to strip clubs when you're there, do you? Hell no, we're not probably going to do that.

But they are the best talkers ever.

In Vegas ever when you make so much money.

I went with the old boss one time and he gave myself and his brother $3,000 each because we're gonna go go strip clubbing all night. And they. I was like, man, I'm gonna hold on to this $3,000. Like there's gonna be no.

Yeah. You're like, yeah. See, the strip club, not, yeah, I'm just gonna like.

But like the strippers there are like top notch quality, like professional talkers, like, right. They, they'll put in the time and they'll get the money out of you.

Yeah, that's true. So how much did you come home with?

I ended up coming home with like 1500. And it's spending like 1500 just like throwing money everywhere. And like. But a lot of it was because you can drink in trip clubs there, right? So a lot of us drinking.

And you can hear. You can drink strip clubs here, can't you?

No, you can drink at strip clubs.

Here when they don't get naked.

When they don't get fully naked. They can get topless, but not completely naked. But if you want to go to ones where they're completely naked, you cannot drink.

Right.

And it's funny because one time I thought the, the laws changed for some reason because I was sitting at a strip club, I brought some of my interns with me and I was showing them a good time. I wasn't really into it. And then the, the cocktail waitress Comes by and she goes, would you like a beer? I go, a beer?

I would like a beer.

Yeah. Because the women in front of me were fully nude. I was like, I don't believe I could get a beer. So I. I get. I get the beer, she brings it to me, and I drank it. It was the nastiest thing I ever drank in my life. And I was like, what is this? It was non alcoholic.

Oh, why don't they don't tell you that?

She didn't tell me. See, you can't trust me.

You can't trust them. You can't trust them. Can't trust them. That's so funny. But I don't know. We're talking about Vegas. We're so excited. Kelsey's never been and we're not so confused.

Oh, no, my God. What are you gonna do?

I don't know. Your friends are gonna hook us up.

Yeah, I already tweeted you guys. I've hooked up one of our interns in the past. She had an amazing time.

Right.

So make sure you guys follow through.

We will follow.

Know how you guys are.

We're trying to plan our outfits on the way over here because, like, how sexy, slutty, like is it every night people in Vegas are going out crazy.

Oh, every night people are going like.

Monday is like a Friday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every single night. You should really hook up with one of my friends, DJ Greg Loop. Greg Lopez. He's a really cool guy.

Okay, cool.

I put him on the. On the tweets with you guys. He's not as active on Twitter, so it might take you a while to. All right, but let me know if he doesn't get in touch.

Anyone else gonna be in Vegas next week, let us know. We'll be there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

I know that's crazy. And I've wanted. We've been trying to plan for years for us to go first. You plan a trip without me again.

You go all the time without me, Menace. But we'll do it. Maybe we should do a show from there. Bring our little recorder kind of thing.

I would love to do that.

You can come.

Yeah, I'm actually going again soon. Probably in April. But you can't come with me then.

Why? Why? Oh, I can't come with you. But you can't. You can't come with. Can't. You are mad at me.

No, no, no. I'm just, you know, you don't.

I'm fun. What?

Yeah, you are fun, but it's just gonna be different groups of Friends. And we're gonna go places you're not gonna wanna go.

You don't think I'd like your friends?

No, no, I'm sure that's cool. I'm sure it would be a great time. But it's just like, we would probably go places that you would like.

Where would you go that I wouldn't want to go?

We probably could go to, like, really? Well, I suggested the other day. I was like, oh, if you go to Vegas, you gotta go to the. To the gun store and go shoot guns. You're like, ah, I don't wanna do that. That's something that we do every time we go there.

I changed my mind.

Oh, did you change your mind? I wanna.

I do. Kelsey, do you want to go gun shooting? Yes. Okay, we're going to shoot guns now.

See, let me tell you. Let me break something down real quick with the gun shooting.

Break it down.

I know there's people who are a lot anti guns. I am not a gun owner. I don't want to go buy guns or go shoot them. But it's in controlled environment. Okay. And it's funny because every time I go there and we'll have like some females with us, they don't want to go, they're like, ah, it's going to be too loud and all this stuff. But the moment you handle a woman, a gun, like a handgun, and they start shooting it, they go crazy. Really love it.

That's awesome. Is it right on the Strip? The gun store?

It's like a block off the Strip.

Okay. I haven't been to Vegas in, like years. Probably five years. Probably changed a lot.

Oh, yeah, there's a. It's totally, like revamped in the. In the middle of the Strip where there's a ton of places. My favorite hotel ever, Cosmopolitan. You got to go there.

Okay.

Amazing food, amazing drinks.

Everywhere is amazing food and drinks. I feel. No, there's not the shady, sketchy places, but there's like some amazing.

Yeah, you kind of don't want to go towards the Mirage and Treasure island, unfortunately, because those used to be really awesome. But it smells like a sewer over there.

Oh, really good to know. You got to give us more tips before we go. Smells like a sewer. Kelsey, write that down. But we're going for the ILS it's the international lingerie show. And then we'll be. And there's a lot of sex toy people there and all that stuff. So we're going to meet all them and have a good time. So I've got a little bit of sex in the news for you.

What do you got for ya?

I love the first story because I can totally relate. No vibrators required. Women have orgasms at the gym. Ladies, if you've yet to fulfill your New Year's resolutions to work out, here's another reason to hit the gym. You might just have an orgasm. Kinsey found out in 1953 that at least 5% of women climax during workouts. But recent research at University of Indiana showing the number may be higher. Surveys showed that of women whose orgasm, 45% orgasm after multiple sets of crunches in what is known as a corgasm, 20% experience pleasure on the exercise bike. 10% for climbing, lifting weights, running, blah, blah, blah. Okay, here's the deal. I used to. I told you this years ago, but. Because we haven't talked about this in a while, but.

No, you haven't told me.

I used to have orgasms at the gym all the time.

No way.

And I'm so pissed that I can't anymore. I actually look at this machine fondly, and it's the one where you put your legs down and you spread them open. You know what I'm talking about? The thigh. The thigh machine. And you can do it reverse. Like you push out with your thighs. And.

I would have an orgasm every single time, like every morning. And it was amazing. But it doesn't happen anymore. And I'm pissed. I look at the machine, I'm like, oh, it's like an ex boyfriend. Like, I don't even want to do anything.

We had such great times.

We had such great times at the gym. But it is kind of. It says that women are embarrassed, that many of the women surveyed actually express some kind of embarrassment. I'm not embarrassed. I'm psyched to have an orgasm at the gym. My gay gym. No one would pay attention.

Maybe that's why you're at the gay gym.

No, it's years ago at my straight gym.

Yeah, but you said it doesn't happen now. Maybe.

No, it hasn't happened in years.

But maybe the workout equipment is just not into women.

I think my body changes. Yeah, exactly, exactly. No one at that gym's into women. They look at me like I'm dirt. No, just kidding. I'm just not. It's nice, actually, the gay gym, because no one cares about me. Okay, so Chloe and Lamar are on the rocks. No. Did you see this coming? Menace. First the sex swing, now the marriage. Everything is falling apart for Khloe Kardashian.

And Lamar, people just wanted to.

I know people are. Just want everyone to be unhappy, which is so stupid. Sources say Lamar is furious that Khloe refused to socialize with the Mavericks players and their wives, even bailing or getting involved with charities connected to the team. Whether this diva behavior comes from her being a die hard Lakers fan or a die hard narcissist is anyone's guest. So he's pissed that she won't talk to the basketball players.

I don't believe it. Don't believe it.

Okay. You think they're happy?

Um, I. I'm sure there's. There are a lot of adjustments, moving to a new city and stuff like that. And then she's used to having her family around all the time, but I don't believe that she's been on the rocks. Diva and stuff like that. I honestly don't know.

Diva, though, right?

No, no. I mean, she's very outspoken.

Right.

But I don't believe she.

Okay, that's. That's our Kardashian story for the day.

Okay, Lena, now, if this was about Kim Kardashian, baby.

Right. I was seeing that. I was reading that she was dating Kanye West.

Amber Rose, who's Kanye West's ex girlfriend, says that that is true. That they. That's the reason that they broke up was because of Kim Kardashian.

Yeah. He said. They say he's in love with her. I read at the gym this morning. So we'll see what happens. I can be.

It's funny because they're not really public about it. She's very public about everybody that she's dating, but for some reason, not about Kanye West.

Yeah. The story said that he was in love with her and he'd do anything to get her to marry him. Why would you want to marry her? Seriously? She's already married three times. Didn't work very well.

Yeah, I don't think he. But I see Kanye west as somebody keeping her in line.

Yeah, he's got his own stuff going on.

Yeah. Kanye west, he's very strong headed.

Yeah.

You know.

Okay.

And that's actually. People always ask me, if you could interview anybody in the world, who would you interview? And I would say Kanye West.

Why?

Because I feel that I understand why he is the way he is.

Which way? In which way he.

People say, you know, he's very arrogant and, you know, he does all this stuff. He's very cocky into himself. And I believe the reason that he is that way is when he was coming up and trying to be Famous and trying to be a rapper. No one gave him a chance like they. People signed him to the label just to make beats for other rappers and stuff like that. They didn't really want him to come out with an album. They didn't believe in him. So when he became a success, now he's like, look at me now. Look at me now. No one believed in me. Look at me now. You know? So I think that's the reason why he is today.

Okay, well, that's what happens to a lot of celebrities. They don't make it. They don't make it, and then they make it.

Yeah, but I think that he still holds onto that a lot, and then that's why he comes off.

So you're gonna break it down with Kanye west when you get to interview him.

And I'll see.

See if he just say, dude, I feel your pain. I understand you. Is that what you're gonna say to him?

No, I'm gonna be like, this is why I think you act the way you do and tell me if I'm right or not and see what he.

Has to say, see what happens. All right.

But I don't think it'll ever happen.

No. Unless you're, like, super famous.

Okay, well, I'll work on that for you. Leonardo DiCaprio is a bit of a stinker, says gal pal. In his bid to save the planet, Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently causing quite a stink by only showering a few times a week, refusing to wear a deodorant, which he considers unnatural, and letting recyclables pile up in his kitchen. He's not only turning green, he's turning off. His model girlfriend, Erin Heatherton. Sources say she's warned him to be more hygienic, but his love for mother Earth may win out in the end. Yeah, guys gotta wear deodorant.

I know people like this.

I do, too. It's. It's tough. It's a men smell if they don't wear deodorant.

Yeah. And it's just.

You can wear the natural deodorant. Doesn't really work.

That doesn't work at all.

I know, but at least it's something.

Oh, man. I. Yeah, it's hard because they're like, oh, I don't want to put chemicals on my body, but what do you do?

I use so many chemicals. I'm not that uptight. People are crazy.

Can you smell what I'm smelling right now?

No, they can't. They can't.

They. They have to.

No, Stronger. You can't really make an effort to smell yourself. And even then you don't smell as bad to you as you smell as bad to everyone else.

It is. Yeah, it's. It's pretty bad. And I wish that there was a natural way of taking care of it, but none of that natural stuff worked.

It doesn't. That's what I hear. I just use, or I use chemicals and everything. I eat unhealthy now. I'm pretty healthy, but I eat junk. Whatever. I'm not worried. Like, everyone's so tight.

Yeah. And it's funny because all these people.

We have to save the planet. I understand that. And I recycle sometimes.

Look, you're not. You're not gonna live forever. And I know it's probably gon prolong your life a bit more, but what is. What kind of life is there if you're always worried about things, you know, I know.

You gotta have some fun, man.

Life is already there again. It's gonna probably affect your dating life incredibly.

Exactly. He's gonna lose another model, so I worry about him. Okay. Katy Perry biopic is on the way. Can't get enough of Katy and Russell drama. If you. If you can hold out 2013, all your dreams will be answered in the film Katy Perry Part of me. It's a 3D biographical film that promises to dish out all the dirt on the star' failed marriage. Perry's upcoming album is also rumored to unleash a lot of Katie's pent up Russell rage.

Why would she have pent up Russell rage? Why?

I don't know. Because she doesn't like the way he handled the divorce.

Well, it might be. It might be a little bit of karma because her ex before him was so hung up on her. Like he's still affected really about her. Like she kind of just broke up with him and this guy was like super in love with her. And it was like, it was very public on how broken up this guy was.

Wow. I don't remember this.

His name is Travy McCoy. He sings in gym Class Heroes. He's really. He's actually a really popular singer. He has like a bunch of hits on the radio right now and a lot of songs were like, about her. And he heavily got into. I'm assuming. I'm not saying that it really happened that he got into drugs. I mean, I know that he smokes a lot of weed because he's very public about that. But.

You know, maybe. Maybe it's karma. If you treat people a certain way, it's gonna come back at you.

Is that true? I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble one day. A lot of karma, a lot of dudes. I've.

I believe in karma a lot. I believe in karma.

Yeah.

Like if you treat people a certain way or you do things, I do too.

I try to be a good person in the world, but I have hurt a lot of men in my past. Not on purpose, but just breaking up because it's your.

It's because of your past.

It's because of my past has ruined everything. I know my past has ruined my life. But no, I've broken up with a lot of men that I know. I just wasn't ready to move to the next level and get married or whatever or move in together.

And they were heartbroken over.

They were heartbroken. But they all move on. Everyone moves on.

It's fine.

But I think I did it in a really nice way. So I think I still have good karma. I never was mean to anybody. I hope they're not listening. No one's listening right now.

You'd be like, ah, they're gonna call in.

She was a bitch. I'm glad no one can call in right now. Okay, so let's move on to some emails. You can always email me@feedbackexwithemily.com youm can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily and you can follow Menace and White Menac and all those places.

Everything. I've got a lot of sex with Emily. Listeners been following me on Facebook and Instagram.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love it.

She's so busy on Instagram.

I wish you would follow me on Tumblr too. I promise I'll do more Tumblr updates.

Okay, I need to do my Tumblr updates.

Then we gotta do Pinterest and then I'm on Pinterest.

I'm on Pinterest. I am. Are you?

Yeah, I'm on Pinterest and I don't really use anything.

I don't have time. Who's got time to pin shit all day long?

I don't know, but I'm really into to Path. But I can't get any more friends because they have 150 friend limit. I'm already at my limit. But I really enjoy it. So you guys should download it. You would have fun.

Okay, sounds good. All right, we got emails. All right, Emily. I'm pretty new to the program in the Emily Morse experience, but I love your show. My first time was pretty recent New Year's Eve 2010. And as a guy, the vagina that I was in did nothing for me. It was a lousy lay. And of course I didn't tell her that, but does sex eventually get better? Gordon from Madison, Georgia.

Georgia.

We've been getting a lot of virgins writing lately or people who are new to sex. Yes, it gets better. I promise you, it gets better. I want to know how you know she was so lousy if you've never had sex before.

She was so lousy.

He.

No, he said it was lousy in general.

He said the vagina that I was in did nothing for me. It was a lousy lay. And of course I didn't tell her that.

Yeah, that's. That's every vagina in the beginning. You're like, really? That's it? That's what I've been waiting my entire life.

But exactly. I mean, you're new at it. It Sex gets so much better. In fact, that's one of the good things about getting older, is that sex actually gets better and better and better. Especially for women. But men too. Men. You know, I wouldn't worry about it. It's not supposed to be great the first time. If you had amazing, orgasm inducing, crazy sex the first time and you're a woman, let me know. If you're a guy and your first time was great, you can let me know too. I've never heard back at sex with emily.com.

I'Ve never heard that from anybo. Like, oh, I had amazing sex my first time.

No, never. First time, you get out of the way.

It's lame.

Yeah, it's kind of like going to the doctor for. It's almost like. I don't even know what analogy. I can't think of one right now. But it's just like you got to go through it. It's like a requisite prerequisite to having great to good sex. Eventually you got to go through the first time, but it's not supposed to be great.

Yeah. And then just, you know, find some chick that has some experience to show you a couple things and then move on to the next one.

Yeah. Date an older woman, maybe a lot of guys I know that dated older. A lot of guys I know. Just a whore. Yeah, just date some whore. Don't do that, Gordon. It'll get better, I promise. Okay. Long distance relationships. Emily, I love your show. This is my first time writing in. My boyfriend of one year is a new medical resident. I understand he's busy, but lately I've been resentful that he hasn't been reinforcing me in our long distance relationship. Hawaii to the mainland. A month ago, I told him it would be nice to have more support. He said he does not believe in doing things to be romantic and guy shouldn't set the bar too high for the future. Instead of making crazy demands, I've gone, oh, okay. He says he does not believe in doing things to be romantic and guy shouldn't set the bar too high for the future. Instead of making crazy demands, I've gone out of my way to show through example how nice it is to have someone go out of their way for you. I. E. I send him a care package. I text with a few reasons. They're important to you. It's gotten me nowhere. How do I bring this up in a way that seems reasonable? This is from Emily, another Emily from Honolulu, Hawaii.

So this is a chick doing this to a guy?

Yeah. And they're in a long distance relationship and she wants him to be romantic and do things so that she. She knows that he has feelings for her when they're apart. And I think that he's got to step it up a little bit.

Yeah, I mean, guys don't really think this stuff is too sentimental as you want them to think it is. You know, when a girl sends me a card or send me some things, like, oh, yeah, that's cool, you know? But if it was reversed where a guy was sending it to a girl, like, she'd be like, oh my God, she would think it was so sweet and she would probably call her girlfriends and say how amazing it was. She'd probably tag a photo of it on Facebook.

Exactly.

Tell everybody, but guys just don't do that. I mean, you shouldn't really take it too much to the heart, but I.

Want to know exactly what she wants. So she sent him a care package and text with all the reasons she likes him. But what do you think? I think it's a compromise here, Emily, that she's got to look at. What would he be willing to do? Like, it sounds like he's not the care package guy. He doesn't like romantic, silly things. But what would really make you feel good? Do you just need him to say nicer things to you when you're on the phone? The compliments? Or do you need him to be like, I miss you? Is he not even using that language? Cause a lot of women feel good about that. Like, if you're a long distance relationship, you want to hear like, I miss you, I care about you, but not every guy's into the care package thing, so maybe you're not. I don't know. I wonder if you're getting the verbal reinforcement that you need. I wonder if that enough. Because you can't force a guy to do something like this.

Yeah, I kind of want to go to work. I can learn, though.

But how hard is it for a guy to send flowers? Me, too. I need a beach vacation. I haven't had one in years.

I need some sun.

Me, too. Mexico?

No.

We're so close.

I'll end up in a Mexican prison. There's no way.

Probably you ended up in Disney prison, so you might as well go to Mexican prison.

No way. I don't want to go to Mexican prison. No way.

But I would say be in prison.

So quick.

But she can bring it up. Okay, so wait, she asks me. How do I bring this up in a way that seems reasonable? Well, I think, Emily, that you should have a talk with him and say, you know what I'm really feeling like, and you should really spend some time thinking about exactly what you need, because maybe you're feeling like he doesn't miss you as much or he's not matching your emotions. So think about what you need and what would make you feel good if you really do think you need flowers once a month or you need something. I mean, I have a lot of. I'm not like this, but I have plenty of girlfriends who were, like, would tell guys, like, I need to feel special. You need to do something for me. I had one of my best friends tell this guy that. She's like. He's like, you need to, like, buy me flowers or buy me jewelry or, like, do something that makes you feel special every once in a while. And they would start to do it. So I think you could just say, I want to feel special. And these are the things that. It's important to me. And tell them, yeah, really go deep and figure out what it is that you're lacking. Is it really the flowers, or is it more like reinforcement?

And I heard dating Hawaii is terrible. My assistant. My assistant, she lived in Hawaii for two years, and she's like.

There'S only like a couple hundred people you could date. And everybody slept with each other. It's like San Francisco.

And it's like San Francisco.

Problem is. Well, the thing is with San Francisco, you can go outside the city and date if you want to, but you're.

Is that what you do?

Is that all these girls are boning? Are they from the East Bay, South Bay?

East Bay, South Bay, East Bay, South Bay. All around the bay, except for North Bay.

I sleep with girls all around the bay.

Not North Bay, not North Bay.

Nothing from Marin. Why not?

Because I'm telling you, those bitches from.

Marin, I don't even want to hear it.

People that are not from the Bay Area, not from the Bay Area. If you're listening, we have the East Bay, the South Bay, and the North Bay. And I just don't go in the North Bay. North Bay is Napa, Marin, all that stuff.

Beautiful.

It's very beautiful. It's just. It's just a different vibe. Different.

It is a different vibe. Yeah. I get it. I get it.

You know, and it's just not. It's just not me.

It's not your peeps.

It's not my people.

But you're banging girls who are mostly out of the city, don't live in the city.

Yeah. Or are from. Are originally from that area.

Got it.

Like, no.

Okay.

Just curious.

I don't date anybody. I know. But also, I don't date anybody that's just recently moved to San Francisco.

Right.

Because they have to go and do all the. You know, I just moved to San Francisco. I got to go hang out in Dolores park and get.

Dolores park is fun.

It is. It is fun. But it's just like, people come here, and when they move here and do they just do the same things? Like, oh, I'm gonna get into.

What's wrong with that? What if you want to go to the Golden Gate Bridge?

Yeah, that's cool. But the thing is, Alcatraz, it's just. It's not. I want to really know who they are. It's just like, people just follow the same pattern when they move here from another state.

They do.

Yeah. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go hang out on the mission for a while and be a mission hipster. And then after that, you know what? I'm gonna go bro it up in the Marina of San Francisco. You know, like, they just usually pick a neighborhood.

Every neigh has their own personality in San Francisco.

Yeah.

So I think that people usually pick a neighborhood and stick to it.

No, no. I think people progress and they go through different phases, and I would like to meet them at the end of their phase.

I have a friend who will not date anybody who lives in certain neighborhoods. Do you have that? He's like, I won't date a marina chick. Like, anyone who lives in the Marina. He won't. He's like, if she tells me she lives in the marina. I'm not interested anymore.

No, No, I don't.

You don't do that. You don't. You don't.

I know. They. They do have different personalities though. People that you date in between, for sure.

Okay. Sexually moving on after relationship. Dear Emily, so a couple of months ago, I got out of a four year relationship. My only sexual relationship. I love sex, but I'm nervous about sexually moving on. Is this normal? I mean, it's probably cliche, but I never planned to have sex with more than him. Kind of exciting to try something new now though, because he was really small. What's your opinion from Savon? She's from Modesto, California. She's a premium friends with Benefits member, the 209.

I love Modesto.

Okay. For your relationship. Okay. Don't. It is okay. It's totally normal to be nervous about moving on sexually. Especially. Especially if this was your first guy that you were with. But if you're excited, you know, I know that you said you didn't plan on having sex with more than him, but that's what you think when you're young and you're having sex for the first time, but you're excited for something new. He was kind of small. Just wait till you get out there and you see other penises. They're not all really small. There's some big ones or some wide ones. You can just go experience penises. But let me tell you that, Sivan, it's totally fine to be nervous. Don't jump into it until you're ready. Don't force let anyone force you into sex. And just stick, stick, stick with yourself.

And don't find a bigger penis.

Find a bigger penis.

It's rough out.

That's the good news.

Upside, new relationship, bigger penis.

I know her area very well. I have a lot of friends that live out there.

What's their penises like?

I don't know their penises, but that area is actually. You're 20 something. You got a kid or are you. You know, you've been to jail a couple times. It's like the dating out there is kind of rough.

Okay. Yeah, I didn't know that. She's a friends benefits member, so Godspeed. Good luck to you. Siobhan, maybe you should move to San Francisco and sleep with people who are a bunch of hipsters. All right, let's call our guest, okay. Barbie Davenport. She's a writer for the Village Voice media sex blog After Dark la. And she's got some crazy, embarrassing sex stories and she knows all about sex. Sex toys. We're gonna talk to her in a minute. And she. Yeah, she's a writer for After Dark Lady. She's got sex stories like for example, she had a threesome with a gay guy and an engaged dude. Yes, it's possible. Wow, that's one of her titles.

Okay, hold on, we'll call her up real quick. We just gotta. Damn. I just called it. Sorry. Try again. How'd you even hook up with this?

We hooked up with her through you know who. We hooked up with her through my co author of my book Hot Sex, which I haven't talked about lately. I wrote a book with Jamie Waxman called hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight and you can buy on Amazon right now. And that's. She introduced us and she thought that Barbie would be a great guest. And here we have it.

All right, well we're calling her right now.

Let's do it.

Hello?

Hey Barbie, it's Emily. I'm good, how are you?

You're on the radio.

You're on the radio. You're on live right now with me and Menace.

I basically live my life as if I'm always on the radio.

I love it. I didn't even have to tell you. It wouldn't even matter. You'd be the same person. Okay, so. So Barbie, so excited. We've been reading your blog and we know that you've got your stories onAfterDark LA.com which are great. And then you also see you've embarrassing sex stories which some of them you write about. So what is your like most. What's your go to most embarrassing story? Because we haven't heard anything yet.

Well, it's kind of hard to choose because it really depends on who the audience is because like you get those sort of embarrassing stor involving bodily fluids and you're like, I don't know. I want to really share those. But the one that always comes to mind was.

I happened to fornicate with a porn star a couple years ago. No big deal. But I really wanted to make it my mission to sort of show him like that I'm the BJ queen.

Right?

Even though you know he's been blown by dudes and girls and I really just was convinced that I could show him that. Hey, they, all of them, they can just.

Of course, of course.

My mouth is like a fucking Hoover. Yeah. So I go for it and it's all good, doing well. I happen to be pretty good at it, so I'm told, right? And I go for the, you know, oft forgotten area of the ball region, right? And put one in my mouth. And then he jumps up, jolts and yelps, almost kicks me in the face as if I had maybe, like, just shoved something up, but, like, set his pad on fire. Like, it was so bizarre. And so, I mean, I'm still there and, like, the left ball is hanging out of my neck and I'm like, with my mouth full, like, is everything okay? What's going on? And he just looks and he goes, oh, I'm just a little sensitive. And I look at him like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, I'm just a little blonde. You're really fucking sensitive. You almost knocked my expensive teeth out.

Right?

But I really, like, I had already followed through, and so. So I gently removed it from my mouth and then went for the other. And then really just, I guess my own stubborn nature, I just kind of kept going. And every time I would touch his balls, he kind of, like kicked me in the face a little, and I just kept going because it was like, if I had left, I would have failed my mission.

Exactly. No, you had to take it through through firsthand.

Yeah, but some guys just don't like it.

Some guys don't like their balls touched. Menace doesn't like his balls touched. And I've tried. Yeah, I haven't tried.

Everyone else I ever talked to is like, oh, my God. What the would touch my ball is weird.

So Menace is not your normal guy.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Like, of course, if you tell a guy I want to touch your balls, I'm like, oh, yeah, go ahead, touch my balls. You know, you can't get an honest opinion. Just not every single guy is into it, that's all.

Yeah, but he's a porn star. Isn't that a prerequisite, like, balls chats? Chat.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter if he's a porn star. Doesn't mean he does everything.

Yeah, it does.

Oh, it does.

Doesn't mean if you're porn star, you do everything.

Okay, totally true.

Right? You get it. You're like, you of all people would, like, your balls suck. So you finally gave him a killer BJ though, right? Even except for the little ball incident.

We did a bunch of times. And then I let him have sex with me a few times just because.

Was he good?

Exactly, he was good. I mean, he's definitely good. It was more like I was looking up at him being like, I'm having sex with this guy who looks kind of like an adonis statue. But is goofy. And I'm just. This is just weird. And it was a little bit strange because he wanted. You were always wondering, like, is he kind of performing right now or really into this?

Exactly. That's what I would be wondering. I'm like, he. He's really into it, but whatever. But if he was good, I guess I wouldn't care. And I just take my ego out of it and pretend that he was really into it. Cause he was really good.

Yeah, I totally took the ego out.

Exactly.

Like at the end of the day, you're getting banged and you're probably gonna have an orgasm. Like that's the goal. And that's cool.

Exactly. So that's good. What else is on your bucket list that you've crossed off?

That I have crossed off?

Yeah. I don't know. Just. What other stories?

Well, I ended up.

Let'S see, I did the gay. I did the porn star. I did the gay porn star thing because he was sort of like. He swung both ways.

Okay, so he's bisexual. Yeah.

I managed to, and it was a total accident, have a sort of three way with an older gay man and an engaged straight dude.

Wow.

Which is terrible. But I was already going to hell a long time ago.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay. Yeah. And it was just one of those things where.

Really just trace amounts of booze were involved and one of them was totally sober. So there's no excuses.

The gay dude really got off on the idea of watching the straight dude go to town on a straight girl. And when he met me, like, apparently I fulfilled his entire. Like, she's the one. Totally. And then we happened to be in one room, the three of us together, talking about something like business related, which is not sexy in any way. And then thighs were touched and then this happened and then blah. And so like that was off the list. And then at the same time, I also sort of had a little thing on my bucket list of like being sort of a in power, like, like dom situation, but without violence or pain. And basically like the two dudes ended up sitting next to each other on the bed, like just watching me not do anything even remotely sexual. I just kind of like stared at them a lot. And I did take, you know, I did take my top off, whatever. But I didn't touch one of them or either of them. And like they both did their thing and all I did was like stare them in the eye.

Wow. Right? Right. So that. That is. That's awesome. So what are. So what do you think about the fact that you write about sex. I mean, I talk about sex. You write about sex. Do people feel like. Do you feel like men or women, whoever you're with, have certain expectations of you? Like, well, how do you deal with that? Because I find it to be totally right. They're like, oh, sex with them. Yeah. So you're gonna sleep with me now, and you're probably a prostitute and whatever. And, you know, so how do you deal with that? Because I don't know what the hell to do. I'm just dating.

It's open. I don't know. Everyone always says it's like, it's open communication and also being very willing to say they go, get the fuck out.

Right.

They end up crossing a line. And I don't. And honestly, I don't even mean that in a sexual way. What has happened a few times on the dating scene is one dude saw my Facebook page, which really has a lot of articles I've written. A lot of it has to do with sex ed and sexual health. But he approached me and was like, hey, what's with all the kinky sex shit on your Facebook page? And immediately I should have been like, ttyl, But I didn't because he was kind of attractive. Sex. So we hadn't even gone out yet. So I explained it's not kinky sex stuff. It's actually education based. If you read it right.

Exactly.

Wait a minute. Does that mean you're some kinky sex freak? And then I was like. And I still should have said fuck off. But I didn't. I explained. Well, no, it's my job, and I'm a journalist and this is my topic of choice. And then he goes, well, then, wait a minute, what's your take on monogamy? And then boom, like, explosion. You're an idiot.

Right?

Immediately. Because this is the topic that she was about. I was untrustworthy. I was, you know, polyamorous and totally irresponsible and crazy and some kinky, you know, Rico, who, God does God knows.

What, you know, Emily still would have went out with him.

I would have gone out with him. Maybe by mistake. I would just probably date him for six months. I've been like, okay, here's my number. And then I would have been like, I really never liked him. And then date him for six months. Months. But that's my problem.

Yeah, I've done. I've been there.

Emily.

I understand. Like, I. What I ended up doing was saying, you know, I just don't even. I'm not interested in meeting with You. The fact that I've already defending something I just shouldn't have to defend.

The red flags are there, right?

But then, like, seven months later, he managed to convince me to go on a hike with him and meet face to face and, like, talk it out. And he ended up being this very overweight, like, lump. And I out hiked him, and he was sweating the whole time and trying to sort of almost defend himself and make it. It seemed like he had reason to believe those things. And I look at him like, are you joking? Damn it. We're on the side of a mountain, right? It'll be homicide if I kicked him, right? Totally fall, right?

Exactly. You got to be careful of that.

Who goes hiking on a date? Who goes hiking?

Anti hiking date? Like, that's all Mendes got out of that. He's like. He's just like, really? You made someone hike? Yeah, people hike. I used to go on hiking dates.

So weird. I think, why is that weird?

People do it all the time.

I think that's like.

So you get exercise. You get to look at birds.

Oh, I'm gonna bury you in the middle of the fucking forest.

That's true. Maybe not a blind date hiking. I don't know.

Yeah, blind date hiking is a bad idea.

Blind date. Exactly. Don't do a blind date hiking. That's okay. If you learned anything from the sex family show, you learn that today. So what about you also write a lot about sex toys. So what are some of your new favorite toys out there? Anything we haven't heard of or anything new coming around the bend that I should own right now?

Honestly? Yeah. There's something that I haven't even received yet, but I've done so much writing and I have so much. I have so many colleagues in that side of the industry who've just been raving about it that I can't wait for mine to come in the mail. It's called fixation.

Okay.

Fix S as in Sam, Asian. And it's basically a clitoral vibrator that you wear while you have intercourse.

Oh, cool.

It's just something so unlike all the bullshit like jelly butterfly, ugly things that you can buy at novelty store.

Right.

There's no pink gummy little bug that's supposed to be cute. It's just a really effective ergonomically shaped bean that is held on to you using lingerie, like belts. So it's like a little lace belt.

Oh, that's cool. So it'll stay in place. Right? That's cool. Oh, I've never Heard of it? Okay. I love it. I've never heard of that one. Because there are, like, the we vibe. It's supposed to be like the couple's vibrator you can use during sex, but I like that this one just stays on and stays in place. Then you go to your business.

Yeah, yeah. The problem. There are lots of problems with some of these dual use vibrators because they assume every woman is the same size and shape, therefore, it should work. And often that stuff never ends up hitting the spot you need it to hit.

Exactly.

And at the end of the day, the spot you really need to hit is your quit. And it, you know, who gives a shit about the G spot? Honestly? Because you can angle yourself and have, you know, assuming that the dick is in there and it's hard, it'll hit your G spot on its own. So these types of items are really useful because they don't move and they don't get in the way because they're really.

That is so cool. Okay, when you get one, you got to tell us how it goes. I'm going to get one, too. We'll just. Okay. What else? Anything else. What is this rock box that you were talking about? Something really exists. That's strong. You wrote about this, the rock box.

That's another crazy thing. I haven't tried it, and I'm actually not interested in trying it, only because I am not. Not at the point where I need that much power in order to get off.

Okay. You're so lucky. I was thinking it sounds good. More powerful than the Hitachi magic wand.

See, that's what I'm saying.

It's so much more powerful.

That's why I'm very hesitant with the sex toys, because I just feel like.

And his balls, you know, you're just.

Gonna need to go bigger and bigger and bigger. It's like. It's like a drug. It's like a drug, like a gateway.

It sounds like if I get the rock box, my room, like, my, my. The walls are so thin in my apartment building that, like, my neighbors would think there was like an earthquake or something. They already do with the Hitachi. Yeah.

It's so loud. It is so powerful. But it really is so effective for women who find that the most. Women love the wands. The Hitachi wand is like their, you know, second little adoptive child, whatever, and they, you know, keep it safe and keep close. And this is sort of like. It looks like a power tool minus the sharp object at the end of the power tool.

Oh, my God.

I know. And it has this sort of silicone tongue like attachment that just. It's thick, but it's. The motor is so powerful that even the thick silicone starts to wiggle and wobble.

Okay.

And there's like I think five or six speeds and the six speed. There are videos online. Actually, there's a video on, on my site because I wrote about this. It goes so it's so powerful that the woman's holding it in her hand and it's practically jumping from hand to hand.

Oh my God. Let's see. That sounds like two. That's crazy.

It sounds like you're explaining like an engine for like a crane or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, I kind of am.

Yeah, exactly. Can you buy. Okay, so what, what else is coming out that you can buy? You know, one of our, our sponsors is Good Vibrations, so lots of toys. You can buy good vibrations.good vibes.com and you use coupon code GVMILY15 for 15% off most purchases from Good Vibes. So what can someone buy? What's some more mainstream things that is out right now that you're loving?

Some more mainstream? Well, I was going to say something that is starting to become more mainstream friendly. I don't know if you've heard of electrostimulation or electricity a little bit.

Yeah, I have. I have. Of course. Yeah.

It's something that. It's very kinky and it looks really creepy and kind of scary. But there's a company that came out with something called the Twilight Wand and they made it really easy to just have. It's like a longer wand made of glass. And at the very end of the glass tip, it just sort of sends out a little bit of a static electricity shock.

Okay.

And it really just feels like a little tap. Just like how a vibrator hits you. It's literally hitting your skin with an offset motor. And what this Twilight wand does is it just hits your skin with a different kind of stimulation. And it's really easy to make it super light or more of a heavier feeling. And it feels just like little tingles and there's a really comfortable handle and a really easy to control.

Setting. So couples are actually using it together because a lot of the times couples are sort of like, I'm looking for the next thing.

Exactly. Electricity. It's a way to do it in your own home.

Cool.

Even though. Yeah. I mean, for mainstream stuff like regular vibrators, for women who really need a lot of power and love their Hitachis, but it's kind of loud and they're kind of obnoxious looking. Jiujiu, which is this really cool British company you might be familiar. Yes, I know good vibes like them. They have something called the Mimi which is a little pebble vibrator and. And it's seamless and it looks very sort of stylish and high tech modern. It's got a really powerful motor and I forget how many settings but I think four or five different levels of some pulsations and that'll definitely get the job done.

Oh good.

And handheld that it's really nice against your body so you could even use it on muscles on honestly the underside of the ball to the underside of the shaft. I know Ben do really like that.

Someone'S a ball guy. Yeah. The Mimi. Okay, that's cool. Check it out. I like Jiu Ju. They make those kegel balls too. The keg. I have an app omnibus. Exactly. I have one of those. I keep meaning do my use those balls. Okay. Thank you so much Barbie. You're awesome. Tell me people can find you@afterdarkla.com.

Yeah, yeah. And they can find me on Twitter at B. Davenport or After Dark LA is also on Twitter and I'm on Facebook and I'll answer any questions you've got as long as they're appropriate and well worded. You have to use good grammar.

Okay, perfect. Well we'll have this all on our website as well. Thank you so much Barbie. We'll talk to you soon.

Of course.

Thanks for having me on. Go have more stories you can share. Go do some other stuff that you can share with us.

Oh, I'll start thinking.

Let me know. Start thinking. Okay, perfect. Okay, bye Barbie. Have a good day.

Okay. Barbie Davenport. She's really good.

I like that.

Six stars. I know. Isn't she awesome? She's hilarious and she's a great writer. You got to check out her blog on after dark LA so you.com you should asked her how she makes a living. You were going to ask her that.

I was, yeah. Yeah, she was.

I didn't really do that.

Walking.

Okay. So walking and talking. Walking and talking. Okay. So that's what we got for you today on Sex with Emily. Anything else you'd like to add? Menace?

Yes. We're here at the sister studios in San Francisco, California if you want to listen to the show on your mobile device. Your smartphone, your Android, your iPhone. They have iPad app. There is a desktop version which I don't know if it's too public yet, but download the app, it's totally free. And then once you download the app, you just search Sex with Emily and you can listen to sex on the go.

And you should become a Friends with Benefits member. We do three shows a week. You get lots of perks. Even more perks coming. It's $4.99 a month. It's like 23 cents a day. And we totally appreciate everyone who supports so. Because if you're listening to the show, we need your support. We're giving you better sex. So we appreciate it.

You feel me?

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