SWE: Fall Staycation

Okay, so let's talk about one of.

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So go treat yourself.

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So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles? Okay, so get this. I always light candles when I'm enjoying a glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emily and Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aromatherapy massage oils that when warmed like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself you can use during foreplay. And you know me, I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fougere. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today@emilyandtoni.com and you're welcome.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our sex information and get special prizes and sign up for our website. That's what you gotta do, sexmemly.com. because we're all sex all the time. Sex, dating, relationships, marriage, love. That's what we talk about. We've got hundreds of podcasts you can listen to and blogs you can read and fun stuff like that. And, yeah, I'm here with Menace.

Is your headphones loud enough?

It seems like you're touching them.

All right. I knew that was happening.

Oh, my God.

Here you go. How about this? See? What the hell?

What the hell's better?

Yeah. What the hell are you gonna do without me?

I'm not.

I'm leaving to Los Angeles.

I'm moving to LA for three months in two days, and I'm freaking out.

You're screwed without me.

No, Menace, you promised me, and you said it on the air that you were gonna come down, and we're gonna do all the shows there because we are gonna be. And I'm gonna be off.

No problem. I'd love to be there.

Okay, you can gonna go to Disneyland, and we're gonna go to Playboy. Oh, I've got it direct into the Playboy Mansion now for you.

I don't want to get my whole.

No, no, no. I.

Do you do you swear?

On my life.

Really?

Yep.

Now, you know, I just don't. I don't want to go.

You've never asked me for anything in your life, and that's what you asked me, and I haven't done it yet.

The thing is.

And I'm taking the flower and water the restaurant, so I.

The pro. The thing is, I need to take my buddy. Okay with me.

Fine.

And we don't want.

I don't need to go. I don't want to go.

We don't have to go to a party or anything like that. No, just a tour. Just to walk around the garden for maybe half an hour.

No, my. My PR agency. Done.

They just say, take. Take a picture. Playboy Mansion. Done.

Done. Done, man. It's the least I can do for you for all that you've done. And you're such a good friend to me. And I will get you the Playboy match. What else do you want from me? Anything else before I go?

No. That's it.

My final words. No. We are not gonna stop the podcast. We've been doing this for seven years, so don't worry. You're not even gonna notice that I'm in Los Angeles. Except for that I'm gonna get a boob job.

Oh, are you?

Fake lips. No. Just kidding.

Don't do the fake lips.

I'm not gonna get. You think I should get a boob job?

No, I don't think you should get boob job, but at least I. Oh.

You like boob jobs?

No.

Not that I have anything wrong with them. I just don't think I need one.

Look at my boobs. I think you're obsessed. Thinking just because I've dated girls that had breast implants, now you think I'm a breast implants guy. Doesn't matter to me either way.

Either way. It's fine. Fine.

But the thing is.

If you want to get a boob job, that's fine. I just don't support.

I'm kidding. I don't want a boob job. The lips.

The lips.

It's a joke. I'm not going to do anything.

No, it doesn't look good on anybody.

I know, I know. It looks terrible. And I'm moving to Venice beach, which I think is going to be a nice. It's only for three months. I'm testing it out. But it's a nice transition from San Francisco because it's not like right in the middle of West Hollywood. It's like the beach. It's like hippie. Ish. Like me, kind of San Francisco. Not that I'm a hippie.

It's really cool, but it's hot as hell.

It's 90 degrees. Yesterday, what was it? Here. Oh, yesterday was nice, but today it's freezing.

Ooh. The big question I was gonna ask you. Are you taking your dog?

Yes. Why? I don't know why. It's in your car right now. I know. And this couple. There's this couple. I call them the Dog Nappers. They're obsessed with her. They watched her for five days. They watch her all the time.

Let them have it.

I fell in love with her. It took me a year and a half, but I fell in love with my dog. She's so cute. Little Daisy Duke. And I'm taking my dog. So we're driving to my Mini Cooper and I don't know how I'm gonna fit everything in my car. That's gonna be scary. All my boots, all my shoes, all my clothes. That's all I need those apartment swaps so I don't have to bring any furniture. It might not happen, but I'm coming back up the week after. So I'll be back and I'll grab the rest of the clothes. That's the most thing I'm concerned about. I want the right clothes cause I got lots of things and events and outfits I need.

My buddy lives in Venice beach and he has two gigantic bulldogs. Oh, they're amazing. I love them to death.

Okay. No, I like everyone else's dogs but mine.

Cuz yours is just too hyper. I don't like it.

She's mellowed out a lot.

Really?

Yeah, she's really. She's two now. Two and a half. She's mellower. She is. But when I first got her, she was hyper. But now she's sleeping in the car. She's in the car. I couldn't bring her in because I knew you'd get mad at me.

And she farted on me once, so. She did farted on me once. That dog is dead to me.

Oh my God, I was so sad. That was like the first week I got her, Menace came over to set up my television set and I said.

Not to bring the dog. I mean not to get the dog.

I know, I regret, sort of regret it. But I fell in love. So what can you do? Today's show is brought to you by audible, so visit audiblepodcast.com Emily you get a free audiobook download. And I'm obsessed with audiobooks right now because everyone's like, I always like, I don't have time to read, I don't have time for this or that. And I get download an audiobook once a week or once a month and I listen to it at the gym. Better than music. I'm telling you, you're getting gross. And I'm like, really? 30 minutes have gone by in the Stairmaster. I'm psyched. So go to audiblepodcast.com emily or just go to my website, sex with emily.com, click on the link and get a free audiobook. Don't you love Audible?

I do.

I'm actually glad they're sponsoring us.

I'm. I'm looking up something right now. What if 50 shades of gray is on Audible?

Of course it is. Yeah, I read. Listen, I downloaded it From Audible? Yeah, I listened to Fifty Shades of Gray.

If you, if you want to see what the hype is all about, you should just download it on Audible.

So funny. Because 50 shades of gray is like what they're calling mommy porn. It's taken over the world.

Who reads it?

Women. Women?

No, but who reads the. Oh, the audio.

Not the author. It's. It's someone they auditioned for. And I read a story because there's a 50 shades of gray magazine that I bought and it's like the woman who reads it. Like you have to audition.

There's a 50 Shades of Gray magazine?

Yes. I should bring it in. It's crazy.

Why can't you just write a book like that?

So I know, dude, I already found out a way that we're gonna ball and ballin. We're bang.

All I need is a Ferrari.

I mean if you get to a.

50 shades of grade level, I mean, I would love a Ferrari.

Dude, when I get to 50 shades of grade level, I'm just gonna write you a big fat check for all this time that you've not been paid. And I haven't been paid either. It's cool, but it's cool.

Black Ferrari. Black and black.

Black and black. You really want a Ferrari? That's your dream car.

I mean since I was a kid I have like on off phases. I mean if I had a buy my own car, probably not a Ferrari. If I had the money. If I barely had the money to buy Ferrari, probably wouldn't buy it.

Did you know?

Nice.

Did you just buy a car or. No. You were saying you pick up car keys.

I've been thinking. No, I rented a car the weekend and I forgot my car. I had a Ford Focus.

What kind are you gonna buy?

You think that I would buy. I really want to buy. Cuz the gas prices are just insane. Just a hybrid. Even though I used to make fun of hybrids.

Yeah, you did not.

Because I'm crazy to return.

In your own words.

No, it's not that. It's just. It's just the smug of people that drive hybrids. But I think that's kind of gone away now.

Yeah, because everyone has a hybrid.

Because everyone has a hybrid now. Because they're smart. Because of gas prices to have a hybrid.

Gas prices are insane. 60 bucks to fill up my little Mini. Kidding me.

Insane.

I don't ask.

So get a hybrid, man.

You're right, I should have. But I love my Mini Cooper. It's red. It's so cute.

So check this out. This is how crazy San Francisco is. People. We have people listening all across the country. Across the country on XM Radio and around the world too. And probably around the world. Some places it's more expensive, like Europe and stuff like that. But our gas here is like 4:49.

I said almost five bucks. Five bucks for a tank of gas. And it's crazy. I think we're the most. We're more expensive than LA San Francisco.

Why more expensive than Michigan?

There's some like legislation or something effed us that we get. We have more expensive gas and I can't remember I read it once because.

You know, it probably is because of the environmental stuff.

Yeah, there's something, something it's like we don't get bad. Okay, can we just talk about this?

Yeah.

That there are no bags in San Francisco anymore. No, that when you go to a shopping. When you go to a store to buy something, I don't care if it's. It's pharmacy, the grocery store, your clothing store, they cannot give you a bag unless you pay 10 cents. Yeah, dude, it's driving me insane because who the hell remembers to bring a bag? I mean, I get it in the environment. I'm like, oh man, I was so.

I was so pissed that I bought five extra bags and I left them there and I just said, hey, you know, just leave it for the next person.

Really?

Yeah, because I was just like, dude, really?

And it's only San Francisco, right? Like you go to la. It's not a California law. It's San Francisco law. We can't be. They outlawed the Happy Meal and now they outlaw bags.

Yeah, it's ridiculous.

It makes me crazy. And I have a hundred thousands of those bags at home, those canvas bags. But then I cannot remember, they're so.

Floppy and stuff like that. I hate them.

And then I have no more plastic bags left.

But it's paper bag, biotogradable.

And I know what's the problem. San Francisco, man. That's why I'm moving. No bags, no Emily.

It's gonna be, it's gonna be like unlivable one day.

They're gonna outlaw cell phone use.

Like oh yeah.

In the public or something. It's crazy.

And you can't have sex in the city no more.

I know.

They'll ban boning.

Exactly. They'll ban boning. So speaking of boning, today's show is about. It's a false staycation. So we were thinking about like the whole hurricane, everything that's been happening and that, you know, fall is the time when people start hunkering down, it gets darker earlier. And so what can you do to spice up your relationship if you have a staycation with your partner? And we've got some really hot sexy ideas that you have not thought of yet. We're also going to be reading the emails that you send to feedbackexwithemily.com we'll get into that. And then in the next week you're going to start hearing about our sex experiment with Forta online. Our sexpiriment has been ongoing and Forta is this awesome. It's 100% organic supplement. It's a remarkable fast acting supplement that makes most of your natural potential and allows you to fortify your sex life naturally. So it's like you don't have to take a pill that's going to last forever. It doesn't lead to addiction. So check out Florida if you're looking for a libido hancer if you want to stay harder, longer. Anyway, long story short, we picked five couples and they're going to take four to everyday men and women who are having like libido issues or sex issues or they weren't turned on anymore, which is libido. And we're going to, they're going to track it and they're going to see how this propels their sex life to the next level. So pay attention to the sex spearmint. It's going to be ongoing. And if you'd like your own Florida, go to Florida online. Check that. Check that.

Speaking about the. The storm, I feel so bad because my friend moved to New York this week.

Oh my God. My friend's about to give birth, like in three days. And she's. I just talked on the way over, she's in Brooklyn and she said she just now watched there's floods. The lights go out. Yeah, the floods and all the lights go out in the city. And I'm like, oh my God, what if you give birth? Like she's gonna take a natural childbirth or something. That's crazy. And we also forgot the Giants. Giants one?

Yeah. Probably people just boning everywhere for the Giants in the World Series.

They swept it. I mean, and I feel bad though, cause my Detroit hometown, they got killed. And I do feel kind of bad, but not that bad. But the thing is, last, when they win, everyone goes crazy here. So it feels good for the city. But there was like fires and turned over cars and stuff.

Dude, they.

Destroyed a munibus that's worth $1 million.

Why do people do that? Because they're so elated or are they just drunk?

I think they're just drunk and they're just going crazy. And they feel like, okay, this is the time that I can let loose and just go crazy. But I don't see the point of it.

That happened in college. Whenever I went to Michigan, there was. We always won and there was riots. I got tear gassed one year.

Are you serious?

Yeah. I got tear gassed for protesting. Not protesting, for rallying for, you know, raving for, like, being psyched that they won the basketball champion.

That's fun.

It was fun getting tear gassed. At least I can say I did it. And I spoke this weekend at a Good Vibration sex summit. Really? How did you. Yeah, I spoke. It was really good. I talked about pop culture, which is funny. You're gonna laugh. Pop culture and sex. And I'm like, I know nothing about pop culture, but I do know about sex. And then this one woman at the panel with me was. We were talking before the panel, what we can talk about. And she's a doctor of sex, or she's a PhD in sex and teaches in Las Vegas. And she was like, you are pop culture. If you think about it, you just did a reality show. Da, da da. But I don't think of myself.

Yeah, but you don't pay attention to anything else.

I don't pay attention to anything else. I know, but so it's funny. So I did that. We love Good Vibes. Check out our store if you want it. Been wanting to buy your partner. You want to buy yourself a little sex toy, you can go to good vibes.com, go to our website, check out all my favorite things.

Speaking of Las Vegas, right after the show, I'm going to Las Vegas to be there all weekend. Yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. For what again?

Well, my buddy's birthday and my birthday type of thing. Just spend some time, just for fun.

You go there more than anyone. You don't go to the strip clubs?

No, but we are gonna be going to Tao.

Oh, yeah. That's fun.

Yeah, That's a nice. Oh, of course. Because it's nice and classy. You've heard of it?

I like the class.

We're have a table and a bottle.

You would love to. Is that your friend there that works there, that hooks you up?

Actually, no. At this time, I'm gonna be hanging out with a bunch of friends from Red Bull Energy Drink and they're having some party there.

I would like to come with you. Except for I'll be in la.

You Wouldn't like.

I wouldn't like it. I'd like it with you.

Yeah, me. Because I'm fun.

You're so fun. Menace is fun.

I have more fun when your friends are not around.

Oh, menace? You like my friends? Don't be silly. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. We've got a little bit of sex in the news for you. Okay, this is what we got. Oyster herpes. It's not just your genitals that are highly susceptible to STDs. It's your taste buds, too. French oyster suppliers are encountering a strand of the herpes virus in many of their local cotton mollusks.

What?

The French are now turning to their playful rivals, the British, to stock up on as many healthy oysters as they can. Infected oysters have a pungent odor and bland colored appearance, but are normally harmless to humans. Gross. Oysters have, historically, this is the irony, been associated with improving sex lives. But now you're gonna get herpes. No, you can't get herpes from it. It says. But that's really disgusting. Pungent odor, like just. I'm never eating an oyster again, ever.

I would never eat it in the first place. Never had one in my life. Won't eat it. I've been offered money to eat one. Wouldn't do it.

Really? You just don't like them? They're too slimy.

Yeah, man.

Gross you out.

Gross.

I hear you.

Some people love it though. They drink beer and eat oysters.

I do that. I like oysters. Of course I do.

Yeah, of course.

Of course. I like oysters. Okay, the flex factor. Some women and men believe that bigger is better. But do girthy muscles have any influence over a person's sexual appetite? Over the weekend, some of the world's best bodybuilders gathered gathered in Prague, Czech Republic to complete in an international competition. So they did that and they. Jeremy Dennis Wolf won the competition, earning himself a hefty 60,000. They earned cash prizes for excessive muscle flexing and spray tanning. Women could also compete in the bikini competition. And their exhibitionists, they're bronze, bust and beautiful. But many of the competing exhibitists do it out of the love of the muscles. What do you think about that? What do you think about people who are into that bodybuilding? Are you attracted to a woman who's like tan and built like that like a bodybuilder?

I am not, but I'm sure there's a lot of people.

So many people are, yeah, I kind of want, like, I Want to be able to work out. Like, I love working out. I do. I go to the gym almost every day. Like, I could see doing it for three hours a day. Getting really into it.

Yeah.

But then I'd be bored and hungry.

Do you know what's kind of funny? I don't, I don't get this, but a lot of guys that I see that are hardcore bodybuilders, their girlfriends are not in shape.

Oh, that's funny.

You know, I mean, if that's what they're into. A little bit on the heavier side. Which is weird because you would think a bodybuilder, he's a.

Would date another bodybuilder.

Yeah. Or something that's super fit. I see it all the time.

Well, maybe it's because that's their thing and their livelihood. It's just like you dating another dj. Would you do that? I mean, you would, but I would. Kind of like, when it's your own thing, you're kind of like into it. But you're right. You kind of be like, babe, I'm going to be at gym for four hours. You want to come?

I mean, I'm sure they, they, they love that person no matter what, but it's just weird that somebody that's so obsessed with their body would date somebody that wasn't the same way.

Right.

I can't get in that mindset because I'm not a bodybuilder.

Not yet. How's the gym going?

Gym's not going good, but I've been a little bit better not drinking any soda at all.

Oh, good.

Very hard for me because I love.

So you're doing diet or regular?

I was doing both.

It's not good for you. So does it? Killer.

Cut it all off.

You cut out sugar, you lose weight. You just do. You got to do it. I had a lot of caffeine. Perrier. I love.

That's how I drink all day.

I know, me too. Sparkling water. I love it. It's good for you. And the more water you drink, the healthier you are. And the healthier you are, the more sex you're gonna have. Because if you are having an unhealthy. If you're unhealthy, it's gonna wreak havoc on your sex life. You're gonna have an unhealthy sex life. So does everyone get in shape? Okay? Trade for trade. Sexual favors in exchange for hurricane supplies. A 53 year old Kensington, Maryland man has posted an ad on Craigslist for free hurricane free hurricane supplies in exchange for sexual favors advertised for 10 minutes maximum. The generous Craigslist poster states that he will orally service any willing woman for the duration of the time slot as long as they provide him with the supplies mentioned in his ad. He provides. Since I am doing you a favor with this service, I will not be able to share any of the aforementioned products if the worst of the hurricane hits. While you are here, please be aware that after our 10 minutes, I will ask you to leave. What? This man sounds like a dude douche. Who would want to do that?

No.

Is it a joke? It must be a joke. It says it's a clever joke or an act of civil honesty. It puts a smile on your face during stormy weather. Anyway, yeah, people are, you know, whatever. I would. But I'd probably have to. Or offer some oral sex if there's ever an earthquake. Because I'm not. I'm not prepared for an earthquake. Like literally. I know. I've lived here for a long time in San Francisco and you have. Everyone's got like earthquake paradise and the water and the food and the. But I don't have any of it.

I think I want to. I got a ton of water in my house and top ramen and stuff like that. Just for to be prepared. But I've been obsessed with maybe getting. This is how crazy I am. Maybe getting a satellite phone.

For.

Oh, for emergencies.

Cuz I watched this movie that freaked the hell out of me, man. What happened? Seeking a friend for the end of the world.

Wow.

And through the whole movie it was all about. They kept on referencing a satellite phone because those were the only phones that would work during a disaster situation because all networks would go down. But the satellite phone was there. And I've been researching and it's like 600 bucks for the phone and then you can get like plans that are 30 bucks a month.

But the satellite phone works.

If there's works, you could be anywhere in the world. You could be in the freaking Mojave Desert and the phone will work.

Wow. Yeah, I've heard of that. You should get one. How much are they?

6. I just told you.

What you say. Sorry, my phone was beeping.

600 bucks for the phone and.

Oh, it's kind of worth it, I guess.

Yeah, dude, I spend more money on.

You spend money on everything. You get so many.

Oh, check this out.

Talk to me.

Yeah, well, it's kind of relates to sex because it has to do with my bed. But. Remember I told you I got new bedding the other day?

Yes. Thank God.

In you where your friend showed up. You had some friend in town. This is when I was telling you, do you ladies go and party? Remember some blonde, she said she was from the east coast or something like that.

I don't remember. Where were we?

I don't remember anything.

Where were we?

We were, like, on Market in Powell Street.

Oh, my friend Jen. Yeah.

Anyways, I was telling you that I got new bedspreads, all this stuff. And I went to Bloomingdale's, found out it was on sale. But it was going on sale that weekend, right? So I go, okay, hey, here, charge. Charge me.

And they said, okay, we got to hold it till the week, right? Go back. And the nice guy that was helping me wasn't there anymore. It was like three old, older people working there. Yeah. No one helped me because I'm some young kid. They kept on trying to help other people. And I kept on saying, hey, can I get my stuff? They're like, oh, I don't know. I don't know when I can help you is the response I got.

Oh, my God.

I go, all right, I'll be back. So I left, and I came back and tried to ask another person. They're like, oh.

They'Re trying to help some other person before helping me. And I said, you know what? This is my second time back here. I started raising my voice, and then they freaked out because I was raising my voice from, got some good for you. And they ran back and gave me my stuff. And then I left and I looked at my account. They still never charged me for any of this stuff.

Wait. High five. Free sheets. What brand? I got mine.

Ralph Lauren.

Nice.

And don't go back.

Don't go back F it. You got free sheets. Douches. Oh, my God. I hate when I don't get service. Well, that doesn't happen that often. You gotta raise your voice. You gotta be people. You know what? Because you look like a young kid.

Yeah.

You look like young with your hoodie in Bloomingdale's. Right? That's not you.

Not that I say, oh, I should be shopping at Bloomingdale's, but they just actually had something that I really wanted.

I love it. What color?

Yeah. Like navy. Not maroon like every other guy.

A lot of dudes have maroon sheets. Is it because the blood of women have periods?

Did I. I think at one time I might have had maroon.

I know so many dudes that. And I don't like the color maroon. If you're a dude, don't get maroon. Cheats.

What Are you into when you see a guy's bed, what do you like white or what makes you horny? Like the layout of the layout of the bed gray. Does it have to be big and fluffy Big.

Nice pillows. Nice sheets. Clean sheets. We talked about this last time.

Guys don't clean sheets that much.

Guys do not clean sheets once a week. Clean your sheets. And if you had another babe over and I'm coming over tonight, I don't have a problem with that. Just wash your goddamn sheets. I don't want to sleep in your semen from last night. I really don't. Yeah, Jesus. Wash your sheets. Okay. Elderly sex toys. Sex is ageless. And with the current advancements and advancements in technology, adult toys can finally be made accessible for all ages. Toy manufacturers, desire and pleasure are beginning to create toys geared towards older and disabled customers. Remote controlled vibrators, penis pumps and Kegel devices used for exercising. Weak pelvic floor muscles are but a few easy to use toys to arrive in the market. So that's exciting. The elderly focused toys are made to be more ergonomic. I don't care. Everyone should goddamn have a sex toy, okay? I mean, elderly people. Everyone's having sex these days. And sex toys really help and enhance your experience. Go to my store vibes. Go to my website, sexsummy.com. check on the products page. You can see what I love. And speaking of kegel exercises, I've got an iPhone app called Kegel Camp. It's for men and women. It will improve your sex life. And I've got a second iPhone app called Emily's Sex Drive which will also improve your sex life. They just came out. So download in the itunes store today because that's what I got to say to you about that. All right. What?

It was my birthday the other weekend.

I know. Can we talk about your birthday? I called, I texted you last week.

It was good. I did.

What'd you end up doing?

I. Well, my work was having a concert, so check this out.

Always.

I know, Always. It ruins your life. I never get to hang out. I know, but it was really fun. I busted out the old outfit that I had. The tinky winky outfit.

Oh, my God. I thought you were tired. Tinky winky.

I know, but I had to bring it back because I didn't have time to shop.

Oh, it was a Halloween thing.

Yeah. And then so I went over and I saw some of my favorite band, one of my favorite bands. Man. Kim, there are actually a couple that has a band that are really popular. Super fun. And then their concert ended, and I had to be on stage across town within a half hour to talk in front of 18,000 people. I'll show you the pictures. They're really cool.

As a Tinky Winky.

As Tinky Winky. So I was in the car, like, rushing, putting on the whole outfit. And I show up to the arenas, the Oracle arena in Oakland, California, and go in through the back and then just walk on stage, grab a microphone, and start talking to all the people as tinky winky. 18,000 people. And they loved it.

Oh, my God. Let's explain who Tinky Winky is. If people are.

Tinky Winky is part of the Teletubby crew. He's the perfect one.

He looks just like him. Like, they just look.

Apparently, he's the gay one, too.

Everyone says he is the gay one. But you're at Menace on Instagram. They can check you out.

Yeah.

And on Twitter. But got great pictures. Really great pictures.

Then I saw great. I saw two great movies over the weekend.

Oh, what'd you see?

I saw.

Seven Psychopaths, which is a comedy and totally hilarious. You need to see it. And then I saw Wreck It Ralph, which is all about video. Video game characters. Hilarious. Go see both of them.

Okay, good.

And yeah. Got a little wasted, ate some food, and then that was it.

That was on your birthday. And know that your birthday, you go.

To, well, Kabuki theater. You can get Kabuki theater in San Francisco, in Japantown, you can get wasted while you watch the movie.

I love that. Yeah, we should do that sometimes. I never go to movies.

Well, you talk through them. I've took you to movies before.

One time I talked through a movie, and he'll never go to movies again. Which is because.

Check this out, people. We were at a pre screening of a movie, and it was the one. I always forget where it is.

The worst movie I've ever seen. It was Catherine Heigl, who cares?

Katherine Heigl movie. And was there with my peers, media peers, who was reviewing the movie. And here's Emily, just all through the freaking movie. That's. That's cool. But all my colleagues were like, who is this biatch? No, they weren't.

I wasn't talking the whole time. And as you exaggerate maybe once or twice. And that wasn't the movie I walked out on.

Went on a date in a movie theater. Not because she was talking, because she just had too much perfume on. So I told my buddy, I've said this story a million Times. But I told my buddy, I was like, hey, man, I got a headache and I just left. I left a chick in the movie theater with him and the other chicken.

She was talking.

No, she would just. She had too much perfume on.

Oh, that makes women you don't wear. You got to spray it and walk through.

And it wasn't like she wasn't good looking. She was attractive lady. But it's just too much perfume. It was terrible. And I got a headache and I left. I know. I'm really particular about the movies. I told you, I got in a fight with that lady a couple months ago when I was trying to see.

That movie. Ted, the teddy bear that talks.

Oh, my God.

And this lady was on the phone in the previews talking to somebody, right? And I go, okay, it's the previews. I'll let it go.

Right?

Then the movie starts and this lady still talking at regular volume on her cell phone. And everyone else is around in the movie, in the movie theater, everyone else is around. I'm a couple rows down, all the way to the other side, and I can hear her, right? None of these pusses in the theater would say anything until I sit there and go, excuse me. Hello? Are you serious right now? That's what I said to her.

That's so cool.

And then she goes, my husband is lost. I go, I don't care.

Walk outside.

Yeah. Go inside.

People are dumb.

He's lost. I go, okay, great, cool. But here, this is where I kick.

Myself in the ass.

Because, okay, she gets the f off the phone. Watch a movie. It's hilarious. I loved it. Walking outside and there's like this 13, 14 year old kid and he's talking about what happened. He's like, oh, yeah, somebody told her to be quiet. All this stuff. And I turn around and I go, dude, that was me. I go, how crazy is that? Right next to it, Right next to him was the lady, that was his mom and the dad. And she goes again, I go, I'm sorry. I know my husband was a grown man, but he was lost.

Oh, my God. But just go outside the movie people and like if the gym people are always on the phone. This morning, they're talking really loud and the same thing. I'm like, just leave. Like, there's no cell phones. No cell phones. Yeah, don't pay attention.

Millions.

And then people are still talking. Like it's like a cell phone from 1992. Like they're yelling in it. Hello? It's like people. Yeah, people can hear you.

Text man, if you really have.

I know, but a lot of older people are not great with terrible. Like my mother misspells things and doesn't get it. It's hilarious. So.

But once you think, you know, this type of stuff is dating situations, what. What's gonna happen with you in la? Are you gonna go on some dates or.

I think I am. I've. Everyone wants to fix me up in la. I've got like a million people who want to fix it. What?

No, I want you to go date people, but I just, I don't know, I don't trust, you know, judgment or.

La Gus people you don't trust, people that I know or LA guys. You just ruled out the entire caboodle.

This is the thing. I know a lot of females in Los Angeles and the problem with dating in Los Angeles, that they tell me because I'm not looking to date dudes in Los Angeles. So I don't know. But what they tell me is it's very hard to date somebody that lives in LA because none of the guys are doing what they actually want to.

Do because they're all waiters, but they want to be actors.

Yeah. So none of the extra time that they have. The extra time that they have is focused on the other thing that they want to do.

So.

Yeah, again, if you're. You're dating some guy that, you know, works at a retail store, he wants to, you know, be in the next James Cameron movie. So that's his entire focus. You aren't any part of his focus.

What about like people who are a little. But there are guys who are being successful in their career. That's like 20 something, 30 something, like, you know what I mean? Don't you think people are more established.

As they get older? What's the dating age you're gonna date?

I don't even know. I mean, I think. I think the dating range is. I don't know, I can't say. I can't rule anyone out.

At least if you're gonna hook out with guys in la, just get some. I mean, come on, somebody that's like, not a loser.

I won't date loser. I'll date nice guys. And where I'm living by the beach, I just think it's more chill, laid back.

Oh, you're gonna date some beach bum?

No, but like bu.

Venice beach and Santa Monica, crazy billionaires out there just find a nice one to do.

I'm gonna find a nice billionaire. That is my goal.

A nice one. I don't date him. Don't date him for his money, but at least, you know, at least date a nice guy that just happens to be a billionaire.

I won't date him for his money, but maybe for his boat.

Oh, God.

Oh my God. But yeah, I don't know.

So good luck with that in your dating.

I'm not, but I'm there to focus on my career. I'm not going there to meet men. And in fact, I think it's better without a guy because I literally, I plan on having meetings, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I plan on my own television show doing more television appearances. Everyone needs to check out the Jeff Probst Show. I'm on it like every week. I've got two episodes airing this week, next week. He was the host of Survivor. He still is the host of Survivor and check those out. I've been in the Doctors, all these shows, so you gotta look at all that stuff.

And a lot of video stuff is up on your website too.

Yeah, you can check out videos on my website, sexwithemily.com if you want to see what all the madness is about. And we do a video podcast and you can look at that too so you can see what we look like and how funny we are in person. It's like you're with us.

Listeners say I look tired.

Just one, right?

Yeah.

Okay. I've got some emails from the peeps.

What did the people want?

They want to know. They emailed us@feedbackextmily.com I try to get to all your emails. You'll hear back from us. We will answer your sex, relationship, dating, marriage problem because that's what we do. Hey Emily, what's your advice on just being friends with girls? Here's my situation. After going on a few dates recently, a girl told me we just didn't click. I was fine with it and wished her the best of luck with the intent that we would both go our separate ways. Three days later, she sent me a text wanting to talk. I explained to her that I felt if I find a girl attractive and I enjoy being with her, then why would I want to just be friends? That was into that conversation. She then called me a week later again wanting to talk about being friends. Since she really liked me as a person this time, I accepted the author. But I feel the emotional and sexual attraction I have towards her will be very difficult to overcome. Cheers. Brendan from Calgary, Canada. Okay, that's a really good question. That is an age old question.

Can men and women be friends and absolutely, men and women can be friends. But it's difficult if one person wants to bone the other person and one person doesn't want to bone the other person. Especially as a guy, I think that. I don't know, you sound. Maybe you're a little younger. I think that as you get older, you do develop more friendships with guys that you don't want to bone, or maybe they still want to bone you, but you don't have sex with them. But if you. I mean, if you probably have enough friends. Brandon, I mean, do you really want to be friends with her? But I wonder why she's badgering you to be friends. I mean, it's nice. Do you want to be friends with her? Because here's the thing, you might be able to overcome it. Especially. Here's a trick. If you start dating other women, don't become friends with her with thoughts that you're going to change her into liking you. That could happen. But if you can honestly just be friends with her and then still date on the side and she's cool with that, then maybe you have a new good girlfriend. You could bounce ideas off her or talk about dates and stuff like that. I mean, I think that I find my male friends invaluable. I have the most amazing male friends. And so, yes, we can be friends. A lot of them were my exes. A lot of them did start out liking me, and I didn't like them, and we just became good friends. So I'm not going to say no. I'm just going to say, if you can't overcome the fact that you want to sleep with her and just see her for the friend that she is, then I would say just. I would say no to the situation. But if you can overcome it, if you said, you're telling me it's going to be difficult to overcome. So if you think that you probably.

Have enough friends, guys don't want to be your friend.

I mean, especially younger guys, they just don't. They're like, if I can't sleep with you, then what is the point? I remember a guy asked me that when I was 22. He's like, Emily. I just. And he was so cute. He was like, I just don't understand the purpose. Like, why would I be friends with women? And I think it's like, again, I think it's something when you get older, like into your late 20s, 30s, that you start, I don't know, like, you're like, it's cool. Or you become friends with your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend and. But when it Starts out as you liking someone and she doesn't like you, and then she kind of rejects you and then says, let's be friends. That's. That's a difficult one.

But you have a lot of girlfriends that you haven't slept with, right? Or no.

Yeah, yeah, I do. You know, just because I was too busy to sleep with them or. This is like so much. So much time has passed.

You're just kind of friends.

But initially. Initially you want to hook up with them because, I mean, initially the reason you want to be around them is because you want to hook them.

That's true. And I have to say that 99% of male female friendships start out because the girl guy wants to be with her. Yeah, the girl, a guy's attracted to her or the girl attracted to.

Also, you kind of. You kind of learn. If you don't hook up with them right away, you kind of learn more about them, and you're like, oh, this person is just cool to be around. I probably wouldn't be good to be with this person.

Right, Exactly. So, Brenda, maybe go out with her once for coffee or a drink and see what happens. Okay. Hi, Emily. My boyfriend Bill and I have been listening to your show for about six months now and love it. Recently, when I orgasm, my squirt. How normal is this? It isn't like I haven't been orgasming prior to this. So is there something that changes as you age? We're Both in our mid-20s and get a lot of practicing. Thanks for your help, Amanda. So squirting can is not that common. I mean, it's totally normal. So you asked me if it was normal. Totally normal. Nothing wrong with that. It just means that your body is. It could be changing, but it could also be the way he's hitting you. Typically, his penis is hitting you when you're having sex. I assume it's during intercourse that you are squirting, and it's G spot stimulation. So maybe he's going harder and hitting your G spot more and that's causing you to squirt. I know a lot of women who say they squirt with certain men and not with others. So it could be the shape of his penis and the way he hits you, but usually it's when you're getting extra G spot stimulation. And I think that that's. That's cool. Do you like it? Is it bad? You gotta put an extra sheet down or something? I mean, it's not a big deal, and it probably feels good, but I think that, yeah, it could be that your body's changing, but it could just be the way he's hitting you. And again, you can learn to squirt too. A lot of guys are hot by women sorting. And women wanna learn. But there are ways to do it. You play with your G spot. There's certain toys you can use. We've done a bunch shows on it.

It can get crazy in there. Like a hurricane almost, you know?

Totally. It's so funny. I was talking to my friend and her mom's name is Sandy and she didn't. She lives in New York and she didn't hear about the hurricane. They go, how you preparing for hurricanes? My friend who's pregnant. How are you preparing for Hurricane Sandy's visit? She's like, she thought that was so funny. And she's like, oh yeah, it's gonna be crazy. But she didn't know that.

See your friend. You and your friends are just so oblivious.

I know. Well, she's pregnant, but she thought they were talking about her mom's house.

Mattered has opened a newspaper, the Internet.

Heard about the hurricane.

No, but I'm saying your friend that actually lives in New York.

I know. She didn't know.

How can you escape it? Look out the window.

They cancel out the flights. I've got friends who are stuck there. You know, I was in New York at 9 11.

You were?

Yeah. 9 11. I have told you this. And then you say, I've never told.

You this on my life. You never told me.

I swear I was in New York on 9 11.

I would have remembered.

I was there. I watched the towers for.

No way.

Yeah.

How come you've never told me?

I don't know. I feel like we know everything because we talk about our sex lives usually. Yeah, I was there. I was staying with my friend who you met the other night in the East Village and she was out of the country, so I was staying at her apartment. I was in New York for a business, for a film conference because that's when I was a documentary filmmaker and I was sleeping in and I got these phone calls. Like my friend started calling me who lived in Chicago because she knew I was staying at Jen's apartment. And she kept calling me and calling me and I was sleeping and I started hearing all the. These sirens, one after the next, one after the next. And finally she was like, oh my God, do you know what's happening? I was like, no, because I slept in.

Of course.

It was like 9:15 and like one had already hit. And I watched the towers Go down from her roof. Crazy. I couldn't get out of New York for a week. It smelled.

That is freaking crazy.

Yeah. I was leaving that day on a flight.

How am I just finding this out?

I don't know. I feel like we know from. I love that man. You know what? This shows that our friendship continues to grow and there's always more to learn about each other. Even though we've clocked hundreds of hours sitting across from each other. Hey, Emily, I'm listening on XM Radio, Extreme Talk 165. What? And I have a question. My fiance and I have been together for three years and we want to set up a threesome. Is it too early? If not, what do I say or do to kick it into action? Thanks in advance, Darren. Well, Darren, that is one of the number one fantasies for men, more so than women. A lot of women have the fantasy, but men, like, number one, hands down, they want to have a threesome. Um, it's never too early. I mean, I wouldn't say the first date might be earlier, although I actually know a couple who, who met on a threesome and they started dating. So I don't want to say that. But here's the thing. It's not too early. I want to add three years together. How solid is your relationship right now? Why do you want the threesome? Are you getting bored with the sex life? Is it getting. Are you bored with the relationship? Because to have a threesome in order to like, kickstart your relationship again, it's not going to happen. It's not going to save your relationship. It could. It could torment your relationship. So I think that you could start by saying to her, you know, do you ever think about. You could end up. You could put on some porn maybe, and you could watch porn together. There's a lot of female friendly porn too. If she's not into that and be like, hey, would you ever want to try something like that? Or you could always do the, oh, I just heard that. So and so had a threesome. What do you think about that? And that's a good way to. That's a good way to bring it up. Or you could say, have you ever been with a woman? I'm assuming you want to have a woman and not a guy. That's how most guys are. And you can just. There's so many ways you could bring it up. Just casually, be like, have you ever been with, like, you could say, like, I want to know more about your sex life. Have you ever been with a Woman, have you ever wanted to? And that's the way to do it. That's how I would kick it into action. And then we'll talk about. Once you get the action, once she says yes, how to find a partner and how to protect yourself. You need to use protection, and you need to be careful. And also, if. Again, if you guys are not emotionally stable right now, it's not the thing to do. If you think it's gonna. It's like couples who have a baby, couples have a threesome. They think it's gonna help their relationship. Nothing's gonna help your relationship. But talking about whatever the issues are, but assuming everything's hunky dory, you're having amazing sex. You guys are great. You just want to do it. Just spice it up, have some fun. That's okay. I'd say just start one of those saying it one of those ways, like, show some porn. Or say, I don't know, this sounds lame, but be like, hey, my buddy just had one. What do you think about that? Like, you know, right? Just bring it up. How would you bring up the threesome if you wanted to have one?

Wow. Well, everyone would just have to be drunk, I guess.

But he wants to bring it up, like, in like. Like a normal person, a mature citizen, and not just a drunken mess. He wants to ask. Ask her if she's interested before.

Like, man, that just. Unless she's shown any signs.

Right?

But maybe that is just like.

A.

Lot of women, it's a do or die situation.

She's just had one already. You don't know. I mean, I don't talk about.

I would love to find that out, too.

I don't talk about my past sexual exploits with my current boyfriends. Like, they don't know if I've had threesomes or not, which I have, but I don't tell them about it unless they ask, you know, so you never know. And it sounds to me, Darren, like you guys need to do some more talking. Like, you could also. Here's another thing. Say to her, what's your fantasy? Do you have anything you've been wanting to try out? That. That. That. That is a conversation that every couple should have, like, asap. Go home tonight and have that conversation with your partner. Say what turns you on? What do you fantasize about? Because that's how you find out. That's like, what if she's like, I want to be tied up. I want to be spanked with, you know, all this, you know, 50 shades of gray stuff. Maybe she want has a fantasy. And I ask all the time. Couples. I'm like, well, what's her fantasy? I don't know. Like, why the hell don't you ask? Just start talking about her fantasy because.

It might be ton of work or something.

I think that's how you gotta start. I change my mind, Darren. Just say, what are your fantasies? Why is that a ton of work? I think it's hot. I'd love a guy if a guy was like, what really turned you on? Like, couples need to communicate.

People might be like, oh, I want massages and candles and blah, blah, blah.

Good for her. Great.

Maybe I don't want to do all that, Emily. Maybe I'm just not into that.

All you want to do is get a blowjob and go to bed.

Yes. High five.

High five to the blowjob. Good vibe.

I finally know who I am.

Finally I know who you are. Okay. Hey, Emily, I'm a new listener and I love your show. It's so amazing. I'm 21 and new at this whole sex thing. I just started having sex five months ago. I've never given a blowjob before, and I really want to do it on my boyfriend. He's never asked me to, and he understands I'm new to sex and it takes and takes it slow with me, but I know he'd like it. And then I want to surprise him and give him one, but I don't know even how or how to start. What can I do? Thanks. Thanks, Emily. Oh, thanks, Emily. Signed N. Oh, my God. Okay, so this is a great question. First, oral sex thing, I would say.

I'll tell you what you do. You make sure your mouth is very, very wet and lubricated. Saliva cated. Lots of saliva. Saliva cated. I made a word. You can even take a drink of water. And then make sure your mouth is heavily lubricated. And then you go down on his penis and you just start to lick around it. Carefully lick around it slowly. And then go in with your mouth. And you want to avoid your teeth. And you want to kind of use a suction motion. And you can use your tongue, but you kind of want to, like, put your. I'm trying to figure out. Put your lips over your teeth and go up and down and use your tongue. And then ask him because he knows it's your first time. He sounds very caring and loving and caring. And say to him, what feels good? What do you like? Faster, slower. Because women can mess it up. Right? I don't want to scare You. But those are the women that don't get feedback. They assume they're doing it right and they're like, I'm a total sex fix it. But they're doing it wrong. Right? You had a woman do it wrong the first time. Didn't she just blow on it or something?

Yeah, it's terrible. There's not enough suction.

But don't let this scare you, because I'm telling you, you could also watch. Watch some porn. I'm telling you. Sinclair Institute.com, go to my website, click on the Sinclair banner. They have educational DVDs about every topic under the sun. And you can buy one on how to perform oral sex. Sex. Or you can just watch some porn. Literally, it's free online. Go watch some porn and watch someone doing it. Because I could give you all the instructions, but not that porn is a good way to learn. Because a lot of times the things we see in porn is actually not true. But for oral sex, it's pretty. You could just get some tips and ask some of your friends. It's hard to explain.

Just the tip.

Just a tip. But lick around the tip and he might want you to hold his balls. Some men like that. It's good to pull it taut, right? Don't you like it when it pulls taut? And then like when you put your hand at the bottom of his penis by his balls, and you pull his penis taut, and then your mouth goes up and down. Circular motions. Move your hand around. Use lots of tongue. What do you think, Menace? You're a gentleman.

When they just grab too much. When they grab too tight, don't grab.

It too tight, but loosely hold it and pull it taut. And then do your. What do you think, Menace? How would you tell a first timer to perform oral sex?

Well. Well.

Make sure you're just not too soft. That's the problem. Then suction. Yeah, suction.

Do suction.

Some suction. But not just too. Like I said, not too hard. Not too hard. Like you're just trying to, you know, suck a golf ball out of a tube or something.

Right.

Just enough suction. Okay. And then up and down and.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. I mean, if you're doing for the first time, obviously, probably the person that's receiving is probably not that informed on how it's supposed to go down. So you should be okay. Just not too soft. That's it. That's the number one thing.

Not too soft. No teeth.

Yeah.

And lots of saliva.

Lots of saliva. Maybe put just like a milkshake down there.

Or you could try Mask Sexual flavor strips. Here's the thing. Mask sexual flavors sexualflavors.com or your mask.com is these strips. They're like those breath strips that you put on your tongue and dissolve, but they mask the taste of semen and they make it taste like you're given tastes like a milkshake when you're pouring oral sex. Because they have chocolate, strawberry, watermelon and mango. You can buy them@yourmask.com and they're just like you stick them in your wallet and you wouldn't even know you'd stick it in your mouth. And they're minty too. Like they have a minty hint to them and they mask the taste of semen. If you do not like the taste of semen and you don't have to swallow the first time or anytime if you don't to want just first, let's get the basics down. Okay? Fall staycation, that's what we're talking about. Okay? Now with the hurricane and all that stuff and fall, the beginning of fall, it's getting darker. I started thinking that people are staying in more. Have you ever heard this term sled dog? No. Okay. I just heard it from my friend on the east coast where I guess people are affected, you know, being affected by the hurricane. But they said it's a girl who helps a guy through the winter when people are more likely to stay in. Apparently the girl may not be that attractive, but he has a good. But has a good body. That sounds lame. That sounds derogatory towards women. But my intern told me about it so I thought I'd put it in there. So. But now for something more romantic. Staycation tips and sex ideas. So I just watched from the Sinclair Institute and again you get 50% off any Sinclair DVDs like I just mentioned. Go to my website, click on Sinclair. Okay. I just watched from the Romance collection about a couple getting the spark back in their relationship by doing a weekend getaway. So you can do it at home. Though this is especially true with parents. I cannot tell you. My friend Jen, who you met the other day. Yeah, she has two kids age 2 and 4. It was the first time she has ever been out of town without the kids in four years.

The time that I saw you just.

Recently like that was. She just got there. She was freaking out and then she had the best weekend of her life. I'm telling you, it is so important to get away from your kids. I don't care if you have just Your parents, your friends, a babysitter even. It's for a night. You need to be away from your.

Children to the exact spark they ruin your life.

Couples that keep the spark alive. No, they don't. Couples that keep the spark alive, they do it with intense planning. They cannot take their sex life for granted or it's just not going to happen. So you think, oh, I don't want to pencil in sex Wednesday night, nine o' clock sex. But you know what? Did you have sex? Have you been having sex? You got to pencil it in. It's so important. You have to work it and plan for it in the bedroom and outside the bedroom and if you have kids. And when I was on the television show, when I was on the Jeff Probst show, there was a woman in the audience and she stood up and she said, I'm really nervous about having sex with my husband because I'm afraid the kids are gonna walk in. And I was like, get a lock on your door. What is the problem? People, like, stop letting the kids run.

Get the club or something.

Have sex in the shower. Get the club. Whatever it is. You need to prioritize sex in your relationship. So take a staycation home. Having time away from the mundane routine can be rekindling. No laundry, bills, cleaning, or work to think about. Now, if you've been having some libido issues and you're not turned on, or he can't stay hard that long, or he wants more stamina, you can check out Florida online like I mentioned, go to my website or just go to fortaonline.com they're 100% natural libido enhancers. And it's not Viagra. It just helps you with. Help him with erections. Helps with libido. Because a lot of times after kids and you're busy and you're not, you just feel like you don't want to have sex. So try popping some pills that are actually really good for you. Like they have other added health benefits. So check those out. Borda online. So. Because that could be something too. Couples are together and they're just not. They're just not into it anymore. So get the spot, the spark back. You can dress up. Do not get trapped in the sweatpants slop. What do you slump? What do you think about a girl who wears sweatpants all the time?

I mean, girls can look hot in sweatpants all the time. But, you know, sometimes when we're outside, doll it up, you know, you can't wear the sweatpants.

No outside, no you can't. Can I wear them to coffee in the morning without showering?

Hell, no.

Why? That's what I do.

Wash your stinking ass.

I just roll out of bed and walk to school.

So many women do not shower. Oh, I shower every day because they don't want to mess up their hair.

Oh, no, I shower every day.

I'm dirty.

No, I don't shower before I get my coffee.

I remember one of my friends, she would just, like, go clubbing all night, take a nap, and then just go straight to work. I'm like, that's nasty. I would want to die.

I'd want to die. I'm already d. Know me.

I take, like, three showers.

I know. How do you have time? Do you run home from work?

No, I just, you know, I'll take. I'll take one in the morning, maybe one in the evening.

And then after you have sex.

And then after I have sex. So then before.

Yeah, I mean, soon after, but not immediately after.

Not like five seconds after. Like, now you go, oh, and then get a shower. Right? That's good. Okay. Get some sexy lingerie. I know this sounds cliche, but seriously, you're with your partner. You're comfortable in that old T shirt and sweats. Like, surprise them. I did this recently. This guy I was dating, and I got all this lingerie when I was in Vegas at the lingerie show. I got it for free from one of my sponsors, and I just, like. I was like, look at this cool thing I got. It was, like, kind of ugly, to be honest, but it was lingerie. And he'd never see me in, like, sexy linger before, and he was, like, ripping it off.

Oh, I probably would have hated it.

No, but it wasn't, like, cheesy. It just wasn't me. And it was cute.

So I like very simple lingerie. Very simple. Just like, you know, guys, like, just simple, like cotton. You know, like, even, like, gray. For some reason, when women wear gray, their boobs look bigger.

Do you notice that in gray?

Yeah.

No, I was gonna wear gray today.

Really? Boobs look bigger in gray.

That's so good to know. I never knew that.

It's. Yeah, it's pretty weird.

If people Notice this, email us feedbackexonly.com But I swear the gray makes boobs look bigger.

That's hilarious. Gray bras or gray shirts?

Anything gray. Okay.

I didn't know that. I'm gonna do it. I forgot to mention. Okay, we already mentioned Audible at the beginning, but I want to thank our sponsor Audible, if you're not familiar with them. Audible is the Internet's leading provider of spoken audio entertainment. They have over 40,000 titles to choose from. So go to audiblepodcast.com emily and you get a free audio download. So you know that book that you've been like dying to read, you might even have bought and you haven't read it yet. You get a free book when you sign up for the service. And if you're wondering which book to get with the free audio download, if you're a chick or even a dude, you might want to check out 50 shades of gray is all about. I listen to it. It's so seductive and exciting. But really they have every single title in the world to choose from and I would love if you would support our sponsors. Get a free book. You know you're not going to read those books even if you own a book and you haven't read yet. Like, I have a house full of books that I do not read. I'm just busy. I'm doing school, I'm doing work. And now I've been downloading books every single week and listening to them at the gym when I'm commuting. So audiblepodcast.com emilycheckit now peep it out. Okay, so more on this staycation thing. Jumpstart your adrenaline and your arousal. So adrenaline rush is what happens when you first start meeting someone. Your heart raises, you get butterflies in your stomach. And studies show that the arousal that's created through an adrenaline producing activity can get transferred to your partner in a relationship. So if you guys have been a little blah lately, go do a new sport together. Exercising together at home, play in the snow, go to the gym. Even if you just go to the gym together, it doesn't have to be anything crazy. You don't have to go skydiving. Although that would do it. Anything that gets you guys pumping together will keep you together and will attract you to each other again. And it's exciting to do it to together. So just do something like that.

Knitting, knitting, bicycle riding.

I just got rid of my knitting needles. I took two classes.

Done.

Well, I'm cleaning out my house because I'm moving.

That's so San Francisco.

What, knitting?

Yeah.

I thought I was gonna knit hats. Yeah, I missed the third. It was four classes. I missed two of them. I learned nothing. That's so me. I had to go out of town. Okay, here's another thing. Staycation, Spicing it up. Touch more often, people touch your partner. It produces arousal and comfort and support. This Is physiologically and psychologically. I mean, I have a friend who's married for 10 years, and I remember her husband just, like, didn't touch her. She's like. He goes out of his way not to touch me. And she was, like, dying inside. Like, it's like when you sleep with the guy and he rolls over and goes to bed like you probably do. I need to be, like, touched. And you need to. Even if it's just like, hey, babe, how was your day? Give him a kiss. You can't believe how many couples stop touching after a while. So make it a point just to rub her cheek. Her. His cheek.

I don't think I'll ever stop touching, but sometimes I just get too tired.

To touch or to cuddle, to even have sex. We all do. That's why you gotta pencil in or, like, do it on the weekends.

Yeah. Just so much work.

It is so much work. I agree.

It's just, you know, it just got to the point when women start asking to have an orgasm. I know this very selfish for me to say right now, but when women.

Are asking to have an orgasm or.

Ask them every single time, it's a lot of work.

Not for all women.

Sometimes it is, honey, that's part of your job. But when you're younger, as a male, what happens is, you know, you don't know any better about orgasm. So you're just constantly having sex with some chick, and then finally she gets to the point where she forces you to make her have an orgasm every single time. And sometimes that road is not easy. And then when you get into your head, like, damn, how much work it needs to be put in, you're like, ah.

You're like, I'd rather go to bed.

I just rather go to bed.

Really. No, you're right. But just. Can't you.

And I know. And I know that it's a very, very selfish statement. I know that's what it is, but that's just. That's just where I'm coming from.

That is selfish. But that's how a lot of men feel, I think. But why don't you all just. God damn it. Buy your partner vibrator. Buy her a Jimmy Jane form two. It's so. It's so unobtrusive. She can put it in her hand, put it on her clitoris, and she's gonna have an orgasm during sex. I don't know why you're so adverse to sex toys. Because literally, it does all the work for you. Takes all the work out. She puts A little vibrate. Do you want me to give you one?

No.

Why? I bet you she. Honey, she'll organize.

Her music was probably secondhand. I need to get a. I will.

Give you a brand new one. I just packed up Jimmy Jane form two. Go to my website, check it out.

I know you're all about re gifting.

I'll give you a box that sits sealed.

A sealed box that you sealed yourself.

No, I didn't, Menace. I would only give you new stuff. Okay?

You're a queen of regifting.

I am re giving. I do give away free sex toys all the time. But it's not this one. I would not be used. Maybe once. Just kidding. Okay. Relationships have to be about fun if they're gonna go the distance. So constantly shake it up. Build a snowman in the winter. Decorate the house during the holidays. Do stuff together. Stop living like.

I love decorating during the holiday.

Are you getting a tree this year? No.

No. Because I got a new tv.

You did? Yeah, kind like a super fancy one.

Yeah.

What's it like?

It's so amazing.

Why is it so amazing?

It's a 55 inch LED TV.

How big is that?

About that big. A little bit bigger, yeah.

How big is mine?

Yours is probably like 32.

You bought it for me. I mean, not for me. With me.

Yeah. Three, two.

Yeah, that's fine for me. Yeah. For the two times I watched it.

And it's like that thin. It's like paper thin. Like an inch. Like less than an inch thin.

Wow. Where'd you get it? Best Buy?

No, Costco.

Oh, cool.

Costco's the best place.

I know. Did you just get a Costco?

Amazing. Yeah. Oh, no, I've had one.

Oh, I need to go. It's on my list. Everyone I know, everything at Costco is amazing.

You can get giant bottles of alcohol for like 40 bucks. That would cost you.

It makes me tense, though.

Why?

So it's overwhelming in those big carts and all the people and should I get my food or should I buy towels?

You can get a hot dog for a dollar fifty.

Delicious.

I don't want a hot dog and.

A giant slice of pizza for two bucks. With a drink.

And they give you little. I like the snacks they give you in the outlet.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But in San Francisco, you got to battle everybody for them.

I do not like. I mean, I love. I understand Costco. I understand the appeal, but I don't need a hundred rolls of toilet.

If you go to that. That's what everyone says at Nervous. Been in Costco. But if you go to Costco and the burbs, it's much easier.

Everything in the burbs is easier. We're living in a city. It's hard. It's hard living in the city. Parking. I gotta go to Target after this and buy some storage and. I know, but there's a Target in the city now.

Yeah, crazy. San Francisco, California.

San Francisco, California, where we are right now. Okay, other ideas? My alarm's going off. I don't know why.

Very festive for the Halloween.

Listen, have leftover Halloween candy. You can make chocolate fondue together and dip it in for fruit. You can also use spreadable body chocolate to lick it off. And I like again, chocolate flavored mask strips. Blindfold frenzy. One sense down. You have the other senses intact, don't you? So do you know when you blindfold someone, all the other senses become much more aroused and intact? So blindfold your partner and play a game of trust. Massage them. Rubbing up to an ice cube in your mouth. Drip it down their back. You don't know what's gonna happen. Download my app Emily sex drive, and every single day it'll give you a new sexy thing to do with your partner. It's really easy. It's for the iPhone and it's going to be for the Droid at some point. If I can find a good Droid developer. I need a Droid developer. If you're a Droid developer, right, they're.

So hard to find.

Why are they so hard to find?

You know what's even harder to find is a Windows developer. The new Windows platform.

So I'm not crazy. It's hard to find because everyone's like, why isn't it Android? Why is it Android? I'm sorry, I can't find a goddamn one. I live in the tech capital of the world and I can't find a goddamn Droid developer.

Well, do you know what you should do? Just get on the Windows platform before that because there's barely any apps available. You'd be. You'll be like ballin' because you'd be one of the first apps.

Oh, show me how to do that. All right, everyone, we gotta go. Have a great weekend. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com oh, and pick up your book. Pick up my book. Hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight.

Amazon. Sorry.

Cool. Once again, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Go to sexwithemily.com where you can Listen to all of our podcasts, our video podcasts, check out our blogs and your sex life will improve. I promise. Hey guys, can I ask you a question? How are your balls feeling right now? Are they super clean and dry? Does your partner complain or is not always willing to go downtown? If so, I've got something for you. I've just launched a new product called Down Under Comfort for my brand Emily and Tony. It's really unique. It's a cream to tapioca powder powder formula that is designed to keep men fresh and clean down under or wherever they need. And girls can use it too, under their breasts, their lower back, anywhere they want to stay fresh. So help keep this podcast free and your balls dry. Use code EMILY to get 20% off your first purchase. Check them out today at emilyandtoni.com Trust me and you're welcome.

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