SWE: Fear of Balls

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all your sex questions answered. And listen to our podcasts and check out all the cool stuff going on over there. And subscribe and bow down to our site because you will love it and it will improve your sex life. Happy Monday, everybody. I made it through the weekend. I'm relieved. It was my birthday weekend and it was crazy. It went off. My weekend went off.

I was all about it.

Oh my God. I usually do something CAS with friends. Not a big deal, but this was like all out. So much fun. I considered stretching it into this week. Like having another party tonight. I was having so much fun.

Really?

Yes.

See, you always try to keep it casual. You gotta go hard.

I gotta go hard. Okay, so this is my first year of officially going hard. I had like three birthday parties. It was so fun. Okay, so I went to.

Thursday night was the party that we had the kegel kegger at Good Vibration sponsored it. It was at my friend's gallery in the city called Project One. It's like a really cool art space and bar and club and what a dance floor. And we kaggle kagger. People were playing beer pong and doing. Playing with the keg or whatever, where they wouldn't let us do keg stands.

Ah, too dangerous.

Which was a bummer.

Too dangerous.

It was too dangerous for bars. But we had hundreds of people show up and Good Vibrations gave away toys like the other wheel that you spin and you win something in it. And it was just fun. And I had a hot, sexy coral dress on. And that's really good. All my interns. Yeah, my photos are on my Facebook page. Sex with Emily. And it was just like good people. Ex boyfriends, new boyfriends, old friends, new friends. Great, great people. Except for there was no menace there.

I couldn't make it.

You're just mad cause I didn't come to your birthday party two years ago. It's fine.

No, well, now we're even.

Now we're even.

Thanks for bringing it up because I felt bad. There was.

Now you don't feel bad anymore.

Cause I didn't come to your party. You didn't come to my party. But no, that's great. And that's just one thing you did. You had a bunch of people.

So that was fun. That was just like lots of drinking and fun and all that. And then Saturday day, I had a picnic in the park in Dolores park with all the hipsters. And it was like 20 people. And we had like wine and cheese, of course.

Did you see Chihuahuas? Because I told you it was Chihuahua.

Day, Other end of the park. I never made it over there. I was literally planted in one spot for six hours. Just like talking to friends and drinking and eating and celebrating. And it was just like all the people that I love, except for you, in the city were with me celebrating my birthday and it was just, it was, it was a great day. It was a great day. And then I went to dinner on Friday night. Went to a special dinner and at Chase Spencer. Have you been there? In the city, whatever.

Yeah, right.

No, and it was good and it was just. I don't know, I felt really good. I feel like this is gonna be a great friggin year. And it just felt great to celebrate.

I feel positive vibes for this year.

Me too.

All around. Me too.

All of us, right? Yeah, it's gonna be a good year. It's really good happening. Today's show, just so you know, we're talking sexy balls. All about the balls or the testicles, whatever you'd like to call them. But I think there's a lot of information that women need to have and men about their own balls, they don't even know. So we're gonna share that information. We've got some great emails from the people and some news.

Cool.

And so I'm trying to think what else has been. Weekend. I haven't had my dog in two weeks. She's been on vacation. But I got pictures of her swimming and she's up at a lake and she's really happy.

Oh, that's good to see her there.

I'm getting her tomorrow though. I'm getting her back.

Have fun with that.

I think it'll be good because two weeks tiatis from the dog and then get her for two weeks, it's like I have a split custody thing going. So that'll be nice. How was your weekend? How was your big concert?

My concert? Yeah. So if people are wondering like why isn't Menace around for Emily's birthday?

Yeah.

Why does he hate me?

There's only two days out of the year I can, no matter what, I can't take any time off. And my concert throws this. My work throws this amazing concert every year with 22,000 people and. And it happened on Saturday and it was so much fun. And for all the fellas, Shirley Manson, she's the lead singer of Garbage. She was there and she still looks amazing.

Great.

And she's this redhead, she's really hot and yeah, that was fun. And then I was there from 7:30am Till midnight.

Wow. On Saturday.

On Saturday I slept for a couple hours and then I took a flight down to Orange County John Wayne Airport and then I went to Disneyland for like 10 hours and it's still live.

Red Bull.

What?

Yeah, I guess so.

Five Hour Energy.

Yeah. Checked out the new cars Land before it's opened. I can't say anything about it. I wasn't allowed to, but. So go check it out when it opens. That's what I can say. And then I flew straight back here, got home at midnight and woke up and did a radio show again early this morning. Yeah.

Kind of sexy.

Yeah. Well, what's amazing is one of my friends was DJing one of the tents, and he said, hey, I need a hype person and somebody that's gonna, you know, hype up the crowd. So for 40 minutes, I got to be on stage with the DJ and hype up the crowd in front 6,000 people. It was like one of the best concert experience I've ever had. That's so cool. Had people sing along with the music. I was like, throwing stuff out in the crowd. I had a T shirt gun that shot T shirts on.

Oh, my God. Had you never done that before? Not.

Well, I've gone up in front of crowds that large before, and I just do a quick intro like, hey, what's up? It's Menace. Blah, blah. Check out this band. But I was never been.

I never been that guy.

I've never been the guy who was in front of the stage for the entire time. Like, now I finally got to experience, like, what it is to be in a band that has such a large gathering like that. And it's effing cool, man.

That's so cool. What band was it for that you were doing?

No, my friend, My buddy was DJing.

Oh, he was DJing.

He was DJing. So I would just, like, you know, I got people to sing along with the songs and stuff like that.

Oh, madness. And you need to a fluffer for the crowd that would get you.

I had, like, hundreds and hundreds of. It was at night, so I had hundreds and hundreds of glow sticks, and I was breaking all the glow sticks and I was like, throwing them out in the crowd. Yeah, it was. It was one of the best experiences I've ever had.

Oh, my God, one of the best experiences. Take pictures and stuff.

Yeah, there's pictures, there's videos on Instagram.

And all that stuff. Oh, that is so cool, Magnus. I'm happy for you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for your seminal moment.

Yeah, you know, we gotta put your on a different date.

I know. It's never gonna work, is it? That's so sad. But it's. I'm glad it was.

Well, we both had great weekends.

Both had great weekends. It feels really good.

You know what?

What?

It's gonna be a great year because you got a television show coming out.

I do. I do have a television show coming up. June 18th. It's two weeks from today. From today. Two weeks? Yeah. Dude. Crazy, right? Wow. June 18th, two weeks from today, 10:00 clock at night on Bravo TV, which is on your cable network. Most people get it. If you've got cable, you've got Bravo. And you can probably download it from itunes. Right. If you don'.

I'm assuming, because some people I know, they're like super cheap for some reason, don't have cable. I don't even know how these people live.

I didn't have cable until recently.

I don't know how these people live without cable. And they wanna know how they can see it online. I'm assuming it would have to be on itunes.

Yeah, it would be.

I don't know if it's available on Hulu or anything like that, but. Yeah, but they have clips@bravo tv.com.

Yes, Bravo tv.com. check it. Bravo tv.com. check it out. Misadvised. And that's what it's called. It's about three single dating experts in different cities, L.A. new York, and myself in San Francisco. Do we practice what we preach? Yeah.

And you will find soon some reasons to watch. And you're gonna be like, okay, I'm just gonna watch it because Emily's on it. Yeah, that's great.

I should.

That should just be enough. But I'm just telling you some highlights. You should see some of the guys that she's making out with on here. I normally. I don't know. Or these guys that she would be making out with. But you get in situations and it's not forced. It wasn't set up.

No, it wasn't.

But you just like saying yes to everything and having experience.

Yes.

And I don't know if you should have said yes on some of the things.

I did say yes to all these dates and I end up kissing several men in awkward situations.

Yeah.

And it's quite funny and fun to watch, I think. I don't know. We'll see. We'll watch it.

And I think we had some fun conversations because I got to sit around.

And yeah, Menace is on the show.

A bunch and critique some of these guys you went out with. And you can just imagine some of the comments that I had.

Oh, my God, you almost got into a fight with one of them.

Yeah, probably you did.

You literally did in this one scene. But anyway, everyone left to watch. It's pretty exciting news. For the show because we want, you know, more people to have better sex. And so we hope that you'll listen to the show.

Watch, watch the TV show or tell.

All your friends, have watching party, have viewing parties. We'll send you toys and stuff.

Forget about me being on the show. A big thing that I'm looking forward to is. Cause there were some parts I didn't get to see where your brother's on the show.

Yeah.

And your brother, if you people, if you listen to the show and you think, oh, I'm mean, I'm brutal, you should listen to Emily's brother. He is effing amazing because he's actually intelligent. You know, he, he went to school, he knows how to use his words.

Right.

You know?

Right. He, he's had a lot of therapy.

Yeah, he's really good.

And he broke me down into like I, he, he analyzed me on the show. He's on the reality show on our sex with Emily show, analyzing me because minus made him do it. And I don't know why I let you get away with that.

So anyway, it's so good. Watch it.

We're so excited. I think that's the first episode actually with my brother. Really? Yeah. Oh, God. Good times.

Can't wait.

Can't wait. We can hardly wait. We're gonna have a big party soon too that we will announce. We're gonna have one of the nights we're gonna viewing party. Not the 18th, but night after that.

All right.

Okay. Well, we've got some sex in the news for you.

And that is.

That is A San Francisco man sues BMW after a rousing motorcycle ride causes two year long boner.

What?

Henry Wolf sues BMW claiming that a four hour ride on one of their motorcycles in 2010 gave him an erection that lasted two years. The main claim, that he developed a severe case of priapism. A persistent lasting erection causing. From the motorcycle's Corbin Pacific Sea, which has arrived. Apparently his condition is ongoing and causes him not to engage in sexual activity. Well, you know, he rode that motorcycle at his own risk.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't think you can sue BMW.

Yeah.

Oh, and I forgot to mention not to make it about me again, but I got. I went on a motorcycle ride yesterday.

Really?

I went down to Half Moon Bay and I was at the beach and it was really beautiful. And I was thinking when I was on the motorcycle that it vibrated and like, how cool would it be to be able to have an orgasm on the motorcycle?

Oh really?

But I wouldn't want a two year erection.

That's your new sex toy?

It is a motor toy.

A piece of a motorcycle. And it's a toy.

Well, it's kind of like the rock box sex toy that I have. Looks like a friggin motorcycle. Yeah, but that's a bummer. I feel bad for him. To your long boner.

That's not good.

No, no, not good at all.

Do you have anything in there about people eating people at all? Because I don't know what the F is going on.

Do we? Yes. Japanese chef serves up his own genitalia to diners.

No, but it's good. I can do an assist on this story too. So go ahead and read that one if you can.

Japanese Chef stirs up zone genitalia to diners. So a self described asexual. Believe that the word asexual describes him as not belonging to either sex. Days after his 22nd birthday, he underwent elective genital removal surgery, divvied up the severed penis, shaft, testicles and scrotal skin between five hungry diners and garnished his man meat with mushrooms and parsley. This practice was considered legal in Japan because there's no law against cannibalism in the country.

Oh my God.

So grossed out. Like, did he not tell them you're eating my penis? Like, I don't even. I'm upset.

I get, I get full reign to at least beat the crap out of the guy, right?

Yeah. I mean, like, how do they find out what happened where the diner's like, yo, it tastes like chicken. I mean, you know, everyone says everything tastes like chicken. That's not chicken.

Like, I mean, if he deep fried it, it would have been all right.

Anything deep fried tastes good.

Yeah.

Oh my God, that's disgusting. Poor guy. He just needs some psychological help.

I don't know what the F is going on the exact. Everyone keeps on talking on the Internet how there's this like zombie apocalypse going on because more and more people eating body parts is getting in the news. Maybe just like, maybe there's one big news story.

There was one last week we had too.

Yeah, there's like a couple. Right. So I'm thinking, you know, this usually happens where there's like one big news story so people pay attention for something like that and it just keeps on getting in the news. There was one today.

Today.

What happened?

This model slash porn star guy.

Killed his boyfriend, had sex with his boyfriend and then ate his boyfriend.

Oh God. Yeah, I think I know what is.

Going on in the world. People, what is wrong with you?

I'm not becoming cannibals. I guess we always are in some way, but that's really upset.

This is not the Donner Party. People like, there's grocery stores. You can go get food whenever you want.

I don't know what that's about. Is there some kind of. They're thinking it's some kind of apparatus.

Apocalyptic zombie thing now. I don't know, but that is effing disgusting.

He text his boyfriend, then ate him?

Yeah.

Like did he kill him or do you just.

Yeah, he killed him, had sex with them, the dead body and then ate him.

Oh my God.

What is that?

I don't know. Where does he live? Florida?

No, Germany.

Okay. I don't know. All weird things happen in Florida. Our next story is about Florida, of course. And accused of masturbating on a Florida highway. So a 35 year old woman was arrested last month for masturbating on Highway 484 in Florida. Apparently Mass Ashley's masturbation slowed traffic as drivers by slowed down to watch her pleasure herself in her automobile. When an officer finally approached her, she exposed her breasts to him. She was arrested and taken to custody where she was.

She was drunk or high.

She refused to wear pants and continued to expose her female genitalia to officers.

She was on something.

Is that illegal to masturbate on the highway?

I guess if you hold up traffic Florida law. I'm sure that should be open.

I've masturbated but not in traffic, so that is crazy. Yeah. Another one. And she was probably on drugs.

Yeah, she has to.

She refused to get dressed and she's fasting her genitalia to the officers.

That's not normal.

Oh my God. I heard the worst story. This is totally irrelevant, not related, but about a woman who got so stoned she smoked marijuana. Did you read this yesterday?

No.

Do you ever like drive. Do you ever like come out of the coffee shop or put your keys on the top of your car while you're opening your car?

Oh, now I know what you're talking about.

She left her baby.

She was high and she left her baby.

She got stoned, left her baby on top of her car and drove away and it fell out in the middle of the intersection. But the baby was okay and unharmed. Cause it was like in the car seat.

How do you forget your baby even when you're stoned?

Like, I mean, I get it.

Dude, stop. And I bet stoners are so mad now because now people, you know, anti drug People can just use this like, oh, watch. There's gonna be, there's gonna be some TV commercials, anti drug TV commercials and they're gonna use this watch.

I know, I know. Well, the thing is if you read into the story, which I. Stoners are.

Gonna beat her ass.

No, the story is the reason why she got so stoned is because earlier in the night her boyfriend got pulled over for having a dui and she was so upset about it that she went to her friend's house, got high and then she proceeded to get pulled over. She went back to the scene of the crime to pick up the baby and the cops were there and then she got a dui.

Oh, that's people drugs.

Just be careful with drugs. Wow. We don't, we like, you know, don't do drugs. Let's just say that. Okay, we've got some emails from the people.

The emails from the people. I like it.

Thanks everyone for emailing us@feedbackexwithemily.com Emily, we love your podcast. We drive trucks and love nothing better than listening to you and menace. When are you coming to Australia? We'd love to meet you and show you what.

Mischief Australians get up to at the moment. Dogging is very popular and we've started a few popular dogging spots along the road and love the thrill on spontaneous meets. Do you guys have anything like that over that in San Fran? If so, we want to hear one of your kinky stories. Emily, stay sexy. Let us know when you're in Australia. Cheers. Your biggest friends with benefits, Jason and Anna from Pittsworth, Queensland, Australia. Okay, so do you know what dogging is?

No.

Okay. It's this bizarre sex craze which involves taking their dog for a walk as an excuse to have sex in a public space. The group used a website called Dogging Australia to find like minded people to have sex with in public places. They use signals like flashing their car lights to encourage others to watch or join in. The craze began in Britain but is spread around the world with the help of Facebook and Internet sites. Territory doggers range in age from 18 to 73 and many provide profile pictures of themselves dogging. So they. Well, I have a dog so I could do it.

Yeah, go for it.

I don't think I'm gonna do it.

Why not?

Jason and Ann, I loved that you love us and I love to hear more of your dogging stories. I'd love to hear the intimate details of it maybe, but I don't think I'm gonna do it. And I've not heard of it in San Francisco.

This is the first time ever hearing about it.

But I'll definitely promote it up. You're going to promote it?

Yeah.

Oh, that's so nice of you.

Oh, and the question with Australia.

I have never left America and I've had like no interest. Not that I hate other countries. I'm afraid for my own safety because I know myself. I'm going to have one too many patrol shots in some weird country and I'm going to get arrested. It's nothing against people's country. I'm just afraid.

But I don't know why you're traveling.

Check this out, check this out. Check this out though. The only other place that I wanted to visit was Tokyo, Japan, because it has everything that I love. Sushi, technology, all that stuff. But Australia keeps on coming up.

Lately we've got tons of listeners in Australia. Yeah.

And I don't know, I kind of want to visit Australia now.

Good. I like it. I think you should.

I have a friend that moved there to go work for Google, so I follow her on Instagram and there's so many beautiful photos that she posts. I know, it's like I've never been.

I'm dying to go to Australia and I've got some friends there too. Yeah, maybe we'll have to plan it. We'll go, we'll go, we'll go, we'll go.

We'll do a podcast.

Thank you, Jason Anna, for sharing something that we did not even know about. Dear Emily, Hubby and I would like to try some 50 shades things like 50 shades of gray.

Yeah, have you read it yet?

I own it and I just started it and I'm almost embarrassed being who I am. Sex with Emily. It's my show that I'm not ready yet, but I've just been so friggin busy. Any recommendations as to what vaginal balls to try for beginner and what massage oil you do like? We keep trying different lube and can't find one that hubby likes. They all seem sticky to him. Thanks for your help. Enjoy your show. Avid listeners from West Bloomfield, Michigan, where I'm from. It's from Abigail. I'm from a town right over from West Bloomfield.

I believe that your whole town back home listens and then it just bleeds out through Michigan.

I think so too.

That's why we have so many Michigan listeners.

I think so too. And I love that my homies are sticking by us.

Do they treat you like the mayor when you go home?

No. And with My favorite.

But they whisper, though. Oh, that's.

That sound like I'm like her. Well, now, I think with the TV show, I think it's the 4th of July weekend, and I think that could be.

It's over. It's over.

When you go home, people are like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, it's her.

Like, everyone watches Bravo. So I've been getting tons of emails from everyone who's like, saw you. Bravo. You too, probably, right.

Well, no, I'm only on the website. But the. But, yeah, but people have been tweeting me like crazy that they see you. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so what she's talking about, Abigail, is 50 shades of grey, which has been on the New York Times bestseller list for weeks. And it's by El. What the hell's her name? Something. Anyway, you can find the 50 shades of gray, and they're calling it mommy porn because it's all about this woman who's in a submissive relationship. It's like bdsm and she's submissive. And there's actually three. There's a three of them. They're sequels. My mom's read all of them.

Wow.

Most of them. Most people have.

Okay, so also Good Vibrations, who we love, they sell it. They sell 50 shades of gray. But not only that, they sell on their website. If you go to goodvibes.com, they sell the 50 Shades of Gray sex toy kit and the 50 Shades of Gray desire kit, and then many of the sex toys that you find in the story, including a blindfold, rope, restraints, spankers, tethers, and tape. So that's just a separate thing that we met with Good Vibes the other day. And if you go to good vibes, got goodvibes.com, use coupon code GVMILY15, and you get 15% off anything from Good Vibes.

Now, everything that was described seems like something that you would be into. You love all that kind of stuff.

I love all that stuff. I just gotta read the book.

Yeah. And I heard there's already. There's already movie talks.

Yep. And every actress wants to play the submissive heroine.

I know. I wonder how they would position the movie. Would the movie be about the writer writing the book and then they would cut into it, or would they just try to make it a full fledged.

I think they had to make it the full fledged erotica.

Whatever.

But she asked specifically for Kegel Balls. And I would recommend the smart balls, the Teneo T E N E O silicone Kegel balls. From good Vibrations.

Yeah. So smart balls Tenio T e N e T E N e O Silicone kegel balls. You can get them. Good vibes. Good vibes. I also like the jiju J e J O E J O U E Kaggle balls. They're amazing because you can wear them. I'm calling them kaggle balls because they exercise, but they're the vaginal balls that you can stick them inside you and leave them inside all day. And you naturally are doing your kegel exercises while you're wearing them because your muscles are contracting to keep hold them in, but you don't really feel them, so they're amazing. Like, I wear the kegel ball and I feel like I'm, like, exercising my kegels. And we all know kaggle exercises are so important. And you should check out my app, Kegel Camp in the itunes store, so you will be reminded every day to do exercises. Okay. For the massage oil, I suggest you try Touch me massage oil.

Or the Jimmy Jane afterglow massage candle from Jimmy Jane. Because, you know, that's my favorite. It's a massage candle that turns into the most amazing massage oil, and you'll love it. So I think that's what you should try. All good vibes use coupon code GVMILY15. And for lube. Oh, you asked for lube. I love aloe cadabra. That's my favorite lube right now. Aloe cadabra. Check it out.

And Vaseline.

No, Vaseline's the worst thing that you can use. Worst thing you can use. So those are some. And also another one is Sliquid. That's a great loop. That's a great lube, too. Sliquid and Alacadabra. My two favorite. Okay. Dear Emily, I'm currently with a girl who is much more sexually experienced than me. Now I'm nervous. I guess I'm not great in bed, but I have no idea. I'm pretty much. I've pretty much only had sex with unexperienced girls. I guess the point is I think I'm gonna lose her over this. Any ideas, Doc from North Carolina? Well, Doc, I would say that first you have to get over your insecurity and your nervous energy and your anxiety, because that is just gonna get you nervous.

It's a torpedo.

It's gonna torpedo. It's gonna get worse. You're gonna get more anxious. First of all, I wanna know, how do you know that she's more sexually experienced than you? Is this a story that you're Telling yourself, is she asking you to do things that you don't understand? I feel like a lot of times guys and women, men and women make up stories in their mind about the person they're dating and they're worried and this person, you know, So I would say just ask her what she likes. Like when you're having sex with her or you're fooling around with her, you're not gon. Let me tell you something. You're going to keep her if you say to her, what makes you feel good? How do you orgasm? Start touching her, you know, start rubbing, touching her in different places. And just ask her, how does it feel when I kiss your neck? How does it feel when I kiss down your stomach? Where do you like to be touched on your clitoris? Or do you like to be fingered? Or do you like to, you know, I mean, not like, don't fire 30 questions at her, but pay attention to, you know, slow down and touch her softly and. And you should always start softer than you think you should. Like, I always tell guys to go five times slower than they think they should. And just try to pay attention to her responses because you will get responses from her. You will get her moaning heavier or not saying anything at all. And that's how you can gauge her reaction. See if you're doing a good job. No one starts out amazing in bed. Every guy, probably. I mean, I think he's probably youngish, right? Menace, probably. Yeah. Like a total stallion. I mean, you still don't, do you? No, I'm kidding.

Not lately.

But what would you recommend to him?

I would recommend that just be a guy and just.

He says he's not great in bed. How does he know?

Yeah, just be a guy, Put it out of sight, out of mind, and then just keep on practicing with this chick.

Keep practicing. Don't worry, she doesn't know. I've never been with a guy and thought, well, that's not true. I probably haven't been with.

Later on in life.

Later on in life. And when you're younger, you like, you don't even know.

You don't know what's going on.

I'm assuming he's only 19. I am.

Even if you weren't, who cares? You're having sex with the girl. You're having sex with the girl. Why have it blow up in your face by being paranoid about everything?

Don't be paranoid, anxious and worried. If you can somehow work, do some kind of meditation, tell yourself that you're awesome and that you're a Rock star. Send yourself positive messages. And I really think that you will feel great about yourself. And you have to pump yourself up, because if you don't have confidence, it's just gonna wreak havoc in the bedroom.

Speaking about being confident, I almost took Cinderella home.

Who?

Cinderella. When I visited Disneyland.

You did?

Well, I was. There's this place, if you ever go to Disneyland, at the Disneyland Hotel, they have Goofy's Kitchen. And you go there and it's like a buffet, which you would never go to a buffet, but for the common folk like myself. We go to a buffet and they have all the characters there, and they come by and they take pictures with you and they say, hello. And so Cinderella comes and Cinderella is hot. You know, they get like, legit.

Yeah, like legit hot Cinderella. That's right.

So Cinderella comes by and she's, like, standing next to me. She puts her arm around me and stuff like that. And she's asking everybody at our table, like, oh, who are you excited to see? What characters? Blah, blah. So everyone names all these characters and she's like, who are you excited to see? I'm all. I'm excited to see Cinderella right now.

Good for you. Nice move.

She's like, oh, really? Yeah.

She was like, honestly, like, blown away that I just, like, said that. Like, not even front end. Like, I'm not even kidding.

Like, you're like, I'm so happy to see you.

I'm happy to see Cinderella.

What happened? Did you take her home?

No, no, but it was just like, you know, just like some of the. Some. Like, some of the guys were, like, shy because this is a beautiful woman, you know, and you just cannot be. You can't be shy.

Can't be shy. Just tell her she's beautiful.

Yeah, well, not.

Don't do that.

Not all that, you know, don't. Don't think that she has you in the palm of her hand.

Just gotta get out of your head, guys. You're gonna get rejected a million times more in your lifetime. And so just gotta keep. It's how you get yourself back up again.

Once you fall down. How do you get back up?

You always, like, at a bar somewhere, and you'll see, like, some guy with some, like, some hot chicks, and you're like, how is that guy with these girls? Because these guys are confident, man. They just don't care.

Exactly.

Don't care. I mean, don't be like a total perv, like, sleaze ball, where, you know, you're just trying to fire on chicks left and right. Don't do that. Because you know what? That's never gonna get you anywhere.

Exactly.

You're gonna end up being a lonely person later on in life if you're just trying to hook up with chicks left and right. But you gotta be confident, too. They don't. Women don't want pussies, man.

Seriously, don't. We want you to be confident? And people keep asking me, I've been a lot of interviews, like, what's the number one thing for men? I'm like, be confident.

Yeah.

So, okay, let's move into our topic. Sexy balls.

Sexy balls.

Sexy balls. Okay, so we are decoding balls today. Facts, fears, manscaping. We've got some amazing products for men. Cause we know that all men are. A lot of men are trimming their bald hair. There's upkeep, right? There's upkeep going on downtown there. Yeah, downtown.

It's called manscaping.

Manscaping. And so I first, I have to tell you that my first experience with balls wasn't great. I actually spent a good few years ignoring balls because I remember hearing a horrible story about how some girl, like, just like probably in high school or something hurt some guy's balls. And like, I didn't touch them for years. I thought they were like, off limits. Like, don't touch a man's balls. But I've learned differently now, and I know that you can touch them. Okay, but how can a man let her know that he likes his balls touched? So, Menace, how do you feel about it?

I don't like my balls being touched.

Men doesn't like his balls touched. Okay.

Some guys know I'm just not into it.

I know it doesn't feel good.

I know some women here, like, oh, in a porno or something, you gotta cradle the balls while you're receiving fellatio. No, it's just not for me. But you know what? You're gonna get 5 million guys that are gonna email into the show at Sex with Emily, and they're gonna say, menace. You're out of your mind. I love it.

Exactly.

Continue, Continue.

Okay, so the fact. Here's a fact. Most men enjoy getting their balls played with, especially during oral sex. So tell her that it's a real turn on. If her mouth and tongue wander over to your balls once in a while. You can gently take her hand and guide it to your balls so she gets the hint. That's nothing wrong with that. It's the head push. When you push your head or head down to your penis, I've Got a problem with that? But if you gently take my hand and, like, show me that you like your balls touch, I'm psyched. Like, I want to know that you're that guy that likes your balls touched. Another fact is you can stimulate the perineum. Use your finger to gently rub his perineum, the nerve packed bit of skin between his scrotum and his anus, AKA the taint, and you're likely to launch him into orgasmic orbit.

So.

Do you know Tupac Shakur?

Yeah, he.

He had on his chest tatted. It said Thug Life. Right? And I was on a radio show and we had our street guy, the stunt guy, who does all these crazy wax, wacky stuff, we made him get a tattoo on his taint. It said taint Life on it.

Really?

Yeah.

You made your friend do that?

Yeah, our co worker. Yeah. Yeah. It said taint Life.

Is it bad or was he really drunk?

No, it's just his job to see how crazy he gets. We also put on his ankle. We had a tattoo put on his ankle of a rose. Like a full on. Like if you. If a guy just gave you a single rose.

Right.

Okay.

That's what it looked like. But in the middle there was a penis going, oh, my God.

Did he still walking around with a penis?

Yes. It's a tattoo. It's for life.

Jesus Christ. Idiot. Okay, ball play tips with your mouth.

Yeah.

Okay. The fact is, this is a super sensitive area, so start small with a light kiss or tickle. If he seems to be enjoying it, do a simple cupping of the balls followed by a light massage.

There's another fact. Sucking on a guy's testicles can make for an incredibly sensational experience. And you'll double the pleasure if you simultaneously fondle his shaft. You can swirl the tip of your tongue around his scrotum. You can lick his balls with long sweeping strokes as if you were savoring an ice cream cone. That's a good image.

Yeah, that's good.

Lick him like an ice cream cone. You wouldn't like that. Does it hurt you physically if a woman touches your balls or just doesn't you feel nothing?

Both.

I don't know.

I think it's maybe in my head that I'm actually physically getting harmed. I don't know if I'm actually feeling pain.

I think that you should resist it and you should experiment. Ball play again? Life's too short.

Yeah, I guess.

Okay, mix it up intermittently. Purse your lips and soft suck softly on the skin or take each testicle all the way into your mouth.

So another way to get a woman. So that's some ways to get her to play with you. But how to get her to go down anymore? I'd say shave your balls or trim them. So I've got this amazing lotion here. This is by Max for Men. It's a total body shave cream. It's from Classic Erotica. Their website is Crazy Girl products. And this product is so amazing. It's paraben and sulfate free. It's made with hair and skin softening agents for smooth rash free shave. So do you find menace when you are trimming down there? Like, do you ever get balls or weird rashes or anything?

Well, it is.

You have to be sensitive.

You have to be careful. Definitely.

Right.

You could nick something.

Right.

It could be bad.

I was gonna have our intern talk about her experience if she wants to.

Okay. While she's walking over here. I gotta say that.

I did have some problems with hair because I got waxed that one time on the show.

Oh, I did it.

We bring it up all the time. But I would never ever do it again. Getting waxed. But I guess this helps you out with that or what?

Yeah, that totally helps you out with that. Because this. Okay. Years ago we did a show. I made. I made Menace get waxed. Whatever. On the show he got a bikini wax and it did. He had bumps and nicks and this, this Mac shave gel. Max for Men Total body shave cream. Okay, this is. Do you want me to say your name? Danielle. She's our new intern. She's awesome. And so she took a bunch of this Classic Erotica makes amazing products. We've like thousands of hours worth of products. And she's like, I'm take some home and have my boyfriend check it out. So what happened?

Yep, that's right. So this weekend we spent time shaving and grooming his balls because if he doesn't want a mouthful of hair, why would he expect that I wouldn't want.

A mouthful of hair? Exactly. Because you just. You shave and do your thing.

Exactly, exactly. So we did try Max for Men Total Body Shave cream from Classic Erotica. And this product is awesome. It's paraben and sulfate free, which is really, really important to me and to him. And it is packed with skin softening agents for smooth and rash free shave. It has jojoba seed oil in it, which is extremely lubricating and moist moisturizing. And it is also formulated with pro vitamins B5 and keratin, which is healthy for your skin and it has anti inflammatory ingredients which helps prevent the dreaded razor burn. All the ingredients in it keep your skin in tip top shape. It's perfect for getting rid of that coarse, nasty hair, but also keeping that delicate male skin skin, you know, in perfect shape. The shave cream is scented with this great male inspired fragrance.

Smell it. I have it right here. Smell this, man, this smells really good.

Yeah, it's masculine. But not only does it have a really great scent, it actually has pheromones in it which gives your something something a little something something.

Mmm.

Isn't it nice?

Oh my God, it smells amazing.

It's so nice.

So what did he say about it? Loved it.

Loved it. His skin was super smooth. No razor burn. And the products, the ingredients in it also prevent from ingrowns.

Ingrown hairs. That's what happened to you, Menace. You got ingrown hairs when I made you get waxed and it wasn't good. And I'm so sorry that's bad. I'm so sorry about Menace, about that. And then the next one that we tried after that, as long as you're here, we're giving you some more ball stuff. But this one I love. It's called Balls and all. And I think that it's moisture control balm.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It is Max for men, balls and all, moisture control balm. And it's also from classic Erotica. And this product is specially designed to protect balls and everything after shaving. It's also paraben and sulfate free and it is a liquidy, soothing, liquidy balm that once it's applied to the skin, it actually converts into a powdery moisture shield. Do you feel it turning into powder?

Yeah, I got it right here. It turns into a powder.

Yeah, it goes on as a liquid and then turns into a powder. And so the liquid, the first, the initial application, that liquid is what's going to protect your skin from razor burn and from those ingrown hairs. It's really soothing and moisturizing for the skin. It's also packed with vitamin C and keratin and vitamins and moisture. And then it turns into that powder which suction sucks up any like, you know, excess moisture and sweat.

Men have fear over sweaty balls like Menace. Do you ever like have with one woman and you're like, oh, I'm afraid that my balls might be sweaty right now?

Yeah. If I'm out at the club all.

Night, you could put this in your bag and put it on your balls. I'm just saying we talk about manscaping we get emails about it all the time. And these are some great products that we found.

Yep. The only way to keep your balls sexy.

Thank you.

Awesome. Thanks, Danielle. She was her job to find a penis to use the ball cream on. And it's awesome. And all their products are great. So you can go to Classic Erotica and check it out. Classic erotica.com, i believe. We'll get you the right one. It's all on our website.

Sex with me.sexhome.com people.

Come on. Okay, so then we've got how to. There are some ball played during intercourse. This is what you can do during. With the balls during intercourse. Okay.

Okay.

Are you. What, you don't love it?

No, I just. The way you said it's like, oh, what you could do with balls. I'm not gonna do anything with balls.

Okay. There's a number of positions during intercourse where his balls can be like.

I'm just saying. I'm not playing with balls myself.

No, not yet.

I'll let other women play.

Okay, maybe. Well, you can let women play with your balls. I think that this could be good for you to open up to start.

Letting them play their balls. I just think it could be a good goal for your year.

Yeah. Going back real quick.

Yeah.

Tell me about your first experience when you really started playing with balls. I mean, it started, you know, I.

Would say that it probably started like. Like I said, I had like real ball fear in the beginning. In the beginning. And then I started playing with them and I would just touch them lightly. Like I remember a guy having a talk with a guy once and I was like, I'm confused. And he's like, you hold like. He gave me like, like, like, like those Benoit balls or whatever. Like you just kind of hold them tenderly in your hand and you move them about. He was showing me how to play with them. So I got a tutorial from a guy that you don't squeeze too hard, you gotta be careful, and you just move them around. Like those mythos. Like those, those balls that you use for stress.

Uh huh.

Those stress balls.

It's stress ball.

Yeah. Why? What's your first? Oh, you don't have any experience.

I wanna see if. Have you ever done a Stevie Wonder?

No. What is that again?

A Stevie Wonder.

Stevie Wonder.

It's ball play.

Huh?

We're talking about ballplay.

We are talking about ball play. Go ahead.

You've never done a Stevie Wonder?

No.

Okay. It's when, let's say you're sitting down Indian style, right. And Then a guy is naked, and then he stands above you and you look up at his balls, and then he places one ball over each of your eyelids. It's a Stevie Wonder, right?

I remember talking about that in the show because he's.

Are you open to a Stevie Wonder?

Sure, whatever. If he uses this Mac shave cream or something. So he smells good. I mean, Jesus.

So you're open to a Stevie Wonder?

Why not? You know me, I'm open to everything once. Everything once.

So, okay, laying down with your guy, he's like, hey, real quick.

Why would he want to real quick get up and put his balls on my eyeballs?

Maybe he's really into it. Hold on, I'm trying to just. I'm trying to describe the situation.

Jesus Christ.

You're laying down in bed with your guy and he goes, you know what? You know that carpet, you know, out in your living room? You have like a. It's like a furry type carpet. It's not real fur, right? He's like, I really want you to go sit down Indian style over there. And I'm gonna walk over with my balls. I'm gonna place them over your eyelids. Cause I'm really into it.

So he's gonna climb over my shoulder.

Well, no, you're sitting down on the ground. He's standing.

And he's taller, right?

Okay, he's taller. And then he. His balls over your eyelids just for.

Because it feels good to him or just because he wants to do the Stevie Wonder?

He wants to do the Stevie Wonder. His penis might be laying down over your nose too, by the way.

Yeah, it sounds fun.

You'd be into that.

I wouldn't say no. If that's really. It turns them on.

Yeah, it turns them on.

Let's work for whatever. Put your balls over my eyeballs. What do I care? I'm down. You heard it here. Okay. During intercourse, there's four very ball friendly sex positions to keep in mind. There's the reverse. Reverse cowgirl reach down. So when you're doing the reverse cowgirl, this is beginner ball, players. It only requires a simple reach down. There's a cowgirl reach back. This is only to be used once the reverse cowgirl has been successfully conquered. You reach back and do it. There's the missionary, reach down. Missionary position. Not always easy, but can offer great pleasure to a man. Putting your legs up and reaching between your thigh. And his thigh allows for quick, quick fondling of the balls as he moves in and out of you. And then there's the doggy Style, Reach back. Reach under your body, between your legs and back to his balls. Allow his balls to slide across your palms as he moves in and out of you. Adding a light squeeze here and there will give him a different level of pleasure. So what do you think about that? Those are all good ways for women to balls. Do you know that? I have, I consciously, since I started out, I had such a bad ball experience early on or I was misinformed that I really have to consciously think, oh, this is a good time to grab his balls. And usually it is like doggy style or like girl on top. You can reach back. Yeah, I'm just, I'm just all for the balls.

Not to bring back the Stevie Wonder. Real quick. I just want, I just, I just want to throw out there. Real quick, quick note. If you do try the Stevie Wonder after listening to the show, please tweet sex with emily or feedbackexthemy.com and promise me you'll read the email.

I promise I'll read it if you.

Do the Stevie Wonder. Please, somebody out there, I know there's a lot of couples that listen, just try it for fun and then.

Okay.

And then try it for fun. This is a description. It's a really quick move. Just do it.

Why don't you just try it for fun?

Okay, I will go and try to accomplish that.

Okay. One more thing I want to say about balls is that do not. Okay, sorry, menace.

We're bringing a new term to baller, by the way.

What? I am. I'm a ball. I'm a big baller.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm a big baller. I'm all about the balls. Here's the problem. You probably shouldn't get waxed.

Oh, thanks for researching the last time that we did it.

Yeah, it's not great. So start with using a scissors or a pair of clippers to shorten everything up to a quarter inch.

Things I do for you, I swear to God.

I know. And I found that show and I'm playing it after. So some electric razors have a built in trimmer. And again, just remember to use these products that we talked about because they're awesome and you can get them@crazygirlproducts.com those are some balls facts. And also one thing is, if you are coping with a fear of balls, make sure that you're completely comfortable with the person you're with. And just always go slowly. Get accustomed to them. Introduce yourself to them. Some light touching and massaging. And most importantly, ask your partner how they like to Be touched. Do you want your balls touched? Do you not? That's what you should do. So that's what I got for you today. I want to thank everyone for listening. I want you to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Sex with Emily and Menace is what? White menace.

At everything.

At everything. And check out my app, Kegel Camp. It will improve your sex life and it's for men and women.

And we're here at the Stitcher studios in San Francisco, California. Stitcher is an app for your smartphone, your Android, your iPhone. I believe they might have just came out. The iPad app.

Yep.

So download it for free. It's S t I T C H E R. And once you download it, all you gotta do is search Sex with Emily and you can listen to the show on the go.

Love it.

And when you email the show, please tell us how you listen to the show.

Yeah, we wanna know how you listen. Like, do you listen on your iPhone?

Do you listen on XM.

On the website sexfamily.com?

We wanna know.

We just like hearing that feedback.

We need to know.

And where are you from?

Michigan.

No, the listeners. Where are you from?

Oh, we wanna know where the listeners are from, not where I'm from.

So don't forget, always tell us where.

You'Re from and do fun stuff like that.

Yeah, you don't have to tell us your real name if you don't want to.

Yeah, you can fake your name. It's okay.

Okay.

Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep.

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