SWE: First Date Experience

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my. Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feeling feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com or emilymorce.com if you're at your office. And sometimes they don't let you go to sex with emily.com. you know how it is. Anyway, thanks everyone for listening to the show and for being here at our Friends with Benefits members. Happy Happy New Year. We can still say Happy New Year right on the Fourth theft. I mean, it's cool. It's. It's like a new exciting time. Today's show, we're gonna be talking about the first date experience. What happens on the first date, what you should talk about, what you shouldn't talk about, what you should do. I appreciate everyone for answering our survey. We have a 10 question survey, super easy. Take you two seconds, go to my Facebook page, Sex with Emily. And the survey link is there. And it just helps us. We wanna know in the new year, what topics do you wanna hear more about? What do you like? What don't you like about the show? We would so appreciate your feedback. I'll take you three minutes to answer. Maybe two. I don't know.

Oh no, that's way too long.

Three minutes. Whatever. You can do it. And so a lot of people talked about dating. They want more dating, first dates, blah, blah, blah. So we're gonna do that today. And also I'm giving away a few copies of my new book, hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. And I want to know why you think you need a copy of this book. Why do you think this book will help you? Email me feedbackextwithelmy.com and we'll be picking out some winners next week. And so we've got that. I'm here with menace, per usual. What's going on?

Hi. How you doing?

I'm great. How are you?

I'm good, actually. Remind me, I'm gonna send you something for the show tomorrow. It's eight things that guys do with their body language that turns women off.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Turns women off.

Yeah. So like eight things.

What's one of them? What's one of them?

Honestly, I haven't. I just. I just came up with the list. I didn't get a chance to.

Let me see if I could think of anything. Guys who scratch their balls too much.

Really? Guys really do that? No.

Yeah, they do.

When they're on a date with you?

No. I don't know. There's body language, stuff that they do that's bad. I'm trying to think.

I mean, sometimes you don't know what to do with your hands. You're like.

There's a lot of like nervous guys put their hands in their pockets in a weird way and bad posture. You should always stand up straight. I try to do that. Just now I was slouching. You gotta go like this. Stand up straight. Be confident. Walk into a room. Don't look down. Look up. Make eye contact. Yeah, too.

But the only Thing is, like, when they're talking, I'm making too much eye contact. You know, like when they talk for a really long time and all I'm doing is staring at them. I feel weirded out.

Yeah, I know what you mean. It can be a little creepy. It's. Eye contact is a whole art because you do it to sometimes, like, I'm not looking at you, but I gotta be like, oh, yeah, look away. But then there's those guys you go out with who never make eye contact. Or people in life who don't make eye contact is so frustrating and annoying and it's a sign of insecurity. I don't.

I don't like making eye contact.

Oh, that's your problem. You need to make eye contact.

I'm not insecure about it.

You make eye contact. Yeah, but you evade it too.

Yeah, I rather like not look at you.

You just looked away when you said that. You don't wanna look at me when you talk. That's so nice. I look at you the whole frigging show.

I know.

I stare at you.

Yeah.

Don't I?

Yeah.

Does it freak you out? Yeah.

See, now I don't look at you.

I'm gonna look at you the whole time.

And now I'm touching my face.

Yeah, don't do that. That's one of the things not to do. Don't touch your face so much. I wanna read your article. You should tell me.

I can't do anything.

I know.

I have to stick with you like a freaking mannequin. It's not good.

I get to stare into your beautiful eyes.

Oh, do you?

Yeah. And we've also got a poll on the site. We'll be reading the results, I think, tomorrow. What do you want to accomplish in the bedroom in 2012? Would you like a threesome? Would you like to try a new sex toy? Would you like to get tied up? Maybe a whip, too? Would you like to try mutual masturbation or other? Let us know. Feedback at Secret Sum.

I'm going foursome.

Dude, you've never even had a threesome start with that.

Eff it, dude.

Eff it. Just bring it. It's a new year, 2012. Yeah, okay. I'm trying to think what I'd like to try. I've tried all the only girls, though.

Only three other girls.

Oh, yeah. Good luck to that. Maybe you can go to a brothel or something down the street. How are you gonna find them? I mean, I know you've got a lot of babes that there's Girls that come to my house, they want the menace.

Yeah. They want a piece.

They want a piece of it. And, you know, we've been talking a lot today in the office about Valentine's Day, because it's coming up.

Oh, my favorite.

I know. So we are going to be doing some fun stuff for Valent coming up, so just everyone stay tuned. We're gonna be giving you good tips. We're gonna be doing a lot of giveaways, some massive packages for people, gift baskets of really cool shit.

That's cool. Yeah. And I'm not being sarcastic about Valentine's Day because I know it's. Guys dread it, but the only thing is, my mom was a florist my entire life, so it's like one of the biggest. It's like Christmas. One of the biggest things.

Yeah, I'm sure.

So she would, like, totally hook me up. Like, I was the biggest pimp in high school when I was, like, a freshman.

Freshman, yeah.

Because she just gave me, like, bags and bags of, like, single roses, and I'll just give them out to all the chicks.

Did you? That's so sweet. Would you write little notes and stuff, or you just hand it to him?

I was like, nah. Here, here. Ho. There you go. Have you have a good day?

Because we had this thing in high school where you could buy a rose for a dollar and then you could write a note and send. It was like a fundraising thing. Did they do that in your school?

No, it was like, really? It was like cards. Like, you just, like, you got the little cards. The cards. So there was no, like, flowers attached. It was a big deal. Like, I brought flowers.

Oh, that's one.

One year I took.

You don't bring me flowers anymore.

No, no.

Anymore.

You know that song?

Yeah. You don't.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But one time I did take a girlfriend to New York for Valentine's Day.

That's nice. Yeah, it's a really nice thing. I mean, I'm not a huge. Like, oh, we got to go all out and go to dinner and do the traditional things for Valentine's Day, because I think it's kind of cliche. No, I'm not into that. But I even think if you're single on Valentine's Day, you should do something for yourself. Do something that makes you feel good.

There's a ton of horny chicks out there that just want to get down to pound town on Valentine's Day because they're, you know, they're lonely.

They want to get down to pound town. That's Hilarious. No, but I mean, even if you're alone and you don't want to get down to pound town, you might still want to just, like, buy yourself a new sex toy. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself. It's all about your self. Love yourself. Mutual masturbate, which is sex with someone you love. So that's what we'll be talking about this month. We've got a lot of fun shows coming up and it's very exciting. So if you are looking to buy anything now, we recommend that you go to Jimmy Jane because we love their toys. We did a whole toy show yesterday. Madness. We missed you. You would have loved it. There was toys everywhere.

Wow.

And if you could put in Emily Stitcher.

Appreciate it.

I know Emily. 25 at checkout and you get $25 off purchases of over $100. So you got to check that out. And. And then I'm trying to think, what else? That's all. What else with you?

What else is with me? Just getting back into the group.

I know it's kind of an intense week, right? Because everyone's like, been like, oh, we'll do it within the new year. We'll do with it new year. And now it's the friggin new year and you got a lot of. Yeah, but it's a lot of stuff to do.

People are taking time off. Like, I have other radio DJ friends. Like, they don't even get back on air till next week.

Really.

So it's like, kind of frustrating because I'm like, dude, I need it. I need a. I need to start working.

I know. And you barely. You barely got a break.

Yeah, and I like, handle a lot of online for the company I work for. And no one's back, so there's like, no stories going on. No like, sex scandals or like, anything in, like, pop culture that's like gonna drive, like, Internet traffic. So I'm like, I'm struggling, man.

There's nothing even going on in the world right now.

You mean nothing like, too crazy?

Yeah. I've got some sex in the news coming up. Nothing great. Nothing even that new and exciting. We couldn't find that much.

But yeah, I mean, you know, Katy Perry, Russell Brand breaking up everyone who doesn't break and saw that coming.

But yeah, nothing like, too extreme is going on.

I know that's a bummer. We got to shake things up because everyone's like, new year, they're new, healthy, they're not doing anything stupid.

Well, luckily, like, all the reality shows are Coming back. So that's.

When do they all start again?

They just started, like, this week.

Do they all start in the same week?

No, like, slowly.

Right.

I watched Brad. Brad World.

Oh. What'd you think?

I liked it.

Yeah. Yeah.

You can tell, like, because he's been in a relationship for 10 years.

Right. And he's the Rachel Zhou protege who got his own spin off.

Yeah, he has his own spin off. And now he, you know, styles for, you know, other, like, famous people. And. Yeah, he's been in a relationship for 10 years, and it's kind of. It's kind of funny watching. Watching their relationship.

So it's more about that than it is about him. Styling.

No, no, no. It's. It's. It's both.

Okay.

It's about. Because his. His significant other is a writer.

Right.

And so he has a totally different.

Lifestyle than him.

Right.

Because he's all about fashion and being in the fashion world, and he's just like, you know, a sitcom writer and.

Right.

He just kind of.

I want to check it out. I DV Art it.

Okay, cool.

Yeah. Isn't that good? Because I learned how to work it, so that's really good. Yeah. My tv. I actually come home now and turn the TV on.

Yeah.

My whole life has changed. Oh.

So I had lunch yesterday with three.

Women, and you should have had them have the foursome with you. No. Okay, sorry. Go ahead.

Yeah, they're all over 40, and one of them had the same ideals as you about, I don't think you can be with one person for your entire life. And I believe that, you know, not one person is just meant for somebody and all this stuff.

I love her.

Oh, my God. I swear you guys were separated at birth because you live in the same area, everything.

Do I know her? Does she know me?

I don't know if you know her.

Okay.

Do I have her on the show, though?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think you would. You would love her because she would totally agree with everything you said.

It's not that I don't think that finding one person for the rest of your life is a good thing for a lot of people, but for me, I'm not sure. I might find someone for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, but no one. You don't know that anyone is there for the rest of your life. And to say till death do us part is BS I think you should restrict that from your wedding ceremony.

And she asked me how I felt, and I said, well, I rather give the traditional route a try first before I start thinking About.

Yeah. And I should give it a try. If I find someone. I mean, I've been dating. I've been dating. So I've been dating this guy and he's got a birthday tomorrow, and it just was Christmas, so now I'm like, gotta get him a birthday present. I don't know what the hell. I hate it. I hate buying people gifts. I don't. I love.

Because you're cheap.

No, no. That came out so wrong. I love buying people gifts. In fact, it makes me. I'd rather get give than receive. Truly, Truly, truly. But when it's like a guy, like, it's hard because what do you. You know, like, they don't. Yeah, it's just harder for dudes.

I'm not cheap either.

No, I know I'm not cheap. I just don't know what to get them. I'm like. There's like, so many he. Like, I tried to. I don't know. I don't. I was thinking clothes, but, like, that's a personal thing.

Sucks, too, because right next to Christmas and.

Exactly. I just got him a Christmas present, for Christ's sake.

New Year's. And then somebody that. Because it's funny because I have three friends that had birthdays right after New Year's. I'm like, jesus, man.

I know. I'm tapped out.

Yeah, I know. Like, I've gone places. I got to think about me.

Exactly. Enough about you and I. Exactly.

I know it's your birthday, but Jesus.

Age.

Can you just recognize that? It was just Christmas.

What's the best. Have you ever gotten, like, a really good present from someone? Girlfriend?

Yeah.

What'd you get?

Oh, I got, like, a ton of stuff one year, like PlayStation, iPhone and.

Oh, my God. Why'd you dump her?

I don't know. I shouldn't. I shouldn't.

No, I want some. If someone bought me an iPhone and PlayStation, we'd still be together. Yeah, exactly. I'm easy.

She was really cool. We're still friends. It's just.

You still bone from time to time.

Nah, nah, we don't bone. She has a new boyfriend now, but.

That'S me who bones all my exes. Yeah.

She wanted to, like, go out and party all the time.

I just couldn't. Right. That's hard. The older you get, you're like, are you still partying every night? That's not interesting. Yeah, right?

You don't want to be the old guy in the club.

You never want to be. That's so funny. My ex. My ex from la. The Used car salesman that you talk about. He's not really a used car salesman, but apparently he looks like one. He's always like, I don't want to be that guy. I'm like, dude, you are that guy. In fact, you are so that guy that I'm frightened for you. He lives in West Hollywood. He's always at the clubs. I'm like, you're the old guy. You're the old guy in the club for sure. You're the creep.

So if you're past 30, you can't be in a club.

You can't be in a club.

I'm sorry.

I know. I'm like, you are old. And he's like, graying. And I'm like, it's not pretty. And he's like, pick it up on 22 year olds and it's not a good sign.

Vegas. Even Vegas.

You look like the old guy. You look like the old guy in Vegas. Totally. I don't know if we should go to Vegas now.

Why?

Because I'll be like the old girl in the club? No, no, you're right. I don't come across that way. And I'm not creepy, so.

Oh, yeah. Did you find us a sponsor?

No. Someone emailed us. Actually, one of our listeners heard us talking yesterday and said that we could stay in his room. I don't really know who he is. I got to read the email more closely. But, yeah, I'm sure we could hook it up. We want Menace and I want to go to Vegas. We want someone to sponsor us. We'll do shows from there. It's the CES Computer Electronics show and the AVN show. Adult Video.

We still got time. What is. It's the 5th. We got what, 10 days, right?

Yeah. Is it the 5th? It's the 10th to the.

Oh, it's the 10th.

Oh, the 12th. I don't remember.

I don't know.

We should go.

But we have time.

You and I in Vegas would be killer. I've been talking about every year going.

But just hit up one of your rich exes and say, like, we'll, I don't know, talk about whatever.

Yeah, I'm sorry I dumped you and I don't give you blowjobs anymore, but would you mind funding my trip to Vegas? That would be awesome. This other guy.

That.

This other guy. Exactly. I'll find it. I'll make it work. If you really think you can make it work, I'll make it work.

I would totally go.

Okay, cool. We'll do it.

I'm into Last minute trips.

Me too. Like, you went to la. Last minute. I love. And Vegas is so fun. And I haven't been a while and I'll be. I'll be the chick in the bar. That's fine. Okay, We've got some sex in the news. Not a ton because like we said, not a lot of celebrities have going on and whatever. But Chaz Bono is saving up for his official sex change.

Oh, man.

So he's revealed that he's saved up enough money and will undergo a sex change procedure. Because up until now, Chaz Bono is a woman. Was taking all the pills to make you to start the surgery. But now, after proposing to his longtime girlfriend on the OWN network, the Oprah network, Being Chaz. You know, there's a show called Being Chaz. The couple broke up recently, so he proposed and then they broke up and.

They'Ve been together for like five years.

But really, like, you're dating a woman who all of a sudden has no boobs and is like gonna get a penis or whatever. Like, that's just bizarre.

Oh, you think?

Because. Yeah, he's meeting a woman, he proposes, he's becoming a man. Oh, no. Was he a lesbian? Wait, I don't get it. Was he. Was he gay? Because he's becoming a man, right?

Yeah, he.

She. She is becoming a man.

So the significant other you think was just attracted to women and now maybe.

But whatever it is, it's whole. You're changing the whole thing. It's not like a haircut. It's like I'm getting my dick cut off or getting my dick added. So that's having that. Britney Spears got engaged over the holiday.

Oh, yeah.

To her boyfriend, Jason Trowick. What?

Yeah. Keep it going. Have a good.

According to a close source, she wants a traditional southern style wedding with comfort food, surrounded by her family, her two sons and all of her childhood friends, as opposed to a Hollywood wedding. She's taking marriage very seriously this time. She's really turned her life around.

She has.

Don't you think? I mean, she's shaving her head and like going crazy.

Yeah, she's still.

I'm sure, I'm sure.

As handlers.

But he's like a good guy. Like Jason. He's an agent at my agency, actually. And, like, he's cool.

Cool.

Yeah. What were you going to say? You were going to add something.

So I don't know if you have this else in the news about Justin Timberlake. Apparently Justin Timberlake got engaged. Got engaged. Did you hear about that? To Jessica Biel.

Yeah, but I heard it wasn't conclusive. So he did get engaged for sure.

Well, they haven't. No, they haven't locked it down as it.

They've been together, like, four years. Yeah.

But the news breaks.

Yeah.

And check this out. And people are saying that she did this to show up because the news is just going crazy.

Right. Of course.

That. You know jt. That's jt, the man getting engaged.

I love him.

They're saying that Britney Spears tweeted out because she hasn't showed her engagement ring at all. That she posted her engagement ring on Facebook to make the news go crazy about her to outshine Justin Timberlake. So he's getting engaged? Or it might just be a coincidence that it happened.

Oh. Because they dated years ago. But I think that they.

That was her first love. She lost her virginity to J.T.

Yeah, so they say. But then they said that she didn't really lose her virginity. I mean, that was a lie.

Really?

I think so.

They hooked up super young.

Oh, maybe. I don't know. I remember. That was years ago. So you think she still has a thing for him and she's trying to, like, outshine him and all that? Didn't they get along? I don't know. Maybe. I could see that. I could totally see that happening.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. That's what people are saying. It's. It just happened to be on the same day.

I'm just happy she found a nice guy who, like, she can trust and she's not shaving her head anymore and all that crazy stuff.

Yeah. And did you know who Justin Timberlake used to date when she was, like, 22 and he was, like, 15?

Who?

And they say. You don't know.

I feel like I've heard this, but I don't remember who it was.

Fergie.

Oh, no way.

He was, like, totally hooking up with him.

No way.

Yeah.

Wow. I think I did hear that before, but I remember hearing that he was dating someone older, like, a while. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. I didn't know that.

Yeah.

What else do you know?

They said that he lost his virginity to her.

What do you think of Fergie?

I like Fergie. I think she's talented.

Do you think she's hot?

I think that she's attractive.

Right. She has moments.

Okay. Oh, she has moments.

She has moments of being attracted. No, she's cute. She definitely is. I mean, come on. She's a celebrity. Whatever.

My assistant got in so much trouble today.

Why?

Women Online. She posted. She posted the top 10. No, no, top 20 butter faces.

Like, so she picked 20 women and you know who the number one is is Sarah Jessica Parker. Really? People always bag.

What does butterface mean? Just butter face. Butterface.

Everything looks good. Butter face.

I've never have you know that.

How do you never heard of that? Like, that term has been around for like 20 years.

Butter face. I love it.

Everything looks good.

So who else is on there? Jessica.

Oh, my God. I can probably. I can pull it up. It's so bad.

Sarah Jessica Parker's pretty. Why doesn't anyone think so?

Because women think she's pretty. Because she. She dresses nice.

Right? Right. Clothes make the woman.

There's a website called Sarah Jessica Parker Looks like a Horse. And then they take pictures of horses and her face.

No, that's so mean.

It's very mean.

That's mean.

I don't condone.

You're like, I. I don't condone it. But I go there every single day.

Yeah, but somebody's gonna make.

You know who else is a butter Face?

Panda dot com or some crap like that.

You do look like a panda.

Yeah. I gotta work out. I have too much.

No, I didn't mean that. I just mean you're cute and cuddly.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. If you go to whitemen.com, you can see. You can see the list.

But yeah, Butterface. Oh, that's mean. I would never want. If I was in that list.

But you would totally look at the list.

Totally. Like, I want you to look at it now. Jesus.

I'm looking.

Yeah. I don't even know half these people, but I feel bad. And then they put. I thought Julie Juliet Lewis, she's like. I think she's cute.

Yeah.

She called her a butterface.

She just made it up. Your assistance. She just went through women and trashed them. Yeah. That's not good for womankind.

I know. Women are pissed. They're commenting like crazy.

Like how upset she posted on Facebook or on your website.

She posted on my blog and got. Thank God it has your name on it.

That's so funny.

I don't know. It's just like. Okay, okay.

Who else?

Women trash. Okay. Mina driver.

Mini driver.

Mini driver.

She's pretty.

Her face is kind of.

Okay, who else?

I don't know.

Just Mindy Driver's pretty. I mean, she's been around in years.

It's funny because women bag on other women's looks all the time.

Yeah, but we don't want you that they. They don't I don't.

And if, If a guy bags. Oh, my God. You're sexist. Oh, you're. You're the worst person on the planet and all that kind of stuff.

Right?

I don't know. I think Juliet Lewis is cool.

I do too.

Yeah. Some of them could be like super sexy because they have like nice body.

And style and clothes can make the woman.

Oh, Terry Reed.

Terry is not cute.

She's busted. And she's a.

Is she? Yeah, I've met her before. She's. She's not that cool. And she's kind of messed up. Right? Okay.

She's weathered.

She's weathered because she partied her ass off. People, if you're listening in your 20s, it's all going to catch up to you. Seriously. Like exercise, drink lots of water and stay off those drugs.

Oh my gosh. She put Kate Moss.

Kate Moss is pretty.

Yeah.

You don't think so?

No, no, I think she's hot. She just, you know, she kind of has a little bit of a snaggle tooth, but that's it.

Snaggletooth?

Am I teaching you?

Like, I've heard of snaggletooth, but I think it's like a messed up tooth.

Like her tooth is a little messed up.

That's probably what makes her hot.

One of the hottest women in the world.

I know. She makes more money than any model. Even after her cocaine scandal. She made so much money.

Yeah, I gotta check my assistant for. I got to do a drug test on her.

See why?

No, I'm just saying for the people that she chose.

Right. That's funny. Is she on drugs or what? Okay, we can get to some emails.

All right, what do you got?

I would like people to email me feedbackexwithemily.com anytime you would like to. And if you're Friends with Benefits member, I just want to say that we really appreciate people who become Friends with Benefits members. It's 4.95amonth. It's like, like, what is that, like 5 cents a day? We figured out a while ago it's nothing. It supports the show. We do four shows a week and we have a whole new Friends with Benefits program happening in the new year that you'll be very happy about. And so thanks for emailing me@feedbackexwith.com at sex with emily.com there's also an Ask Emily page, whatever icon that you could click on and email us through there. So this is from a 22 year old virgin.

22 year old virgin guy here never even kissed Dated or had any romantic relationships, probably because I was brought up in a very conservative society. But being a male, I have a raging hormones, which makes me conflicted between imagining myself in a meaningful relationship or just a physical one. Question. Where do I get started? This is from Madhu. He's in Corpus Christi. Corpus Crispi, Corpus Christi, Texas.

All right.

Okay. So you're a virgin. And I would say, first of all, no big deal. Like, there's a lot of people who lose their virginity later in life. So I think that one thing is virgin is like being. When you're older and you're a virgin, like, because you're a little above the age that people. Most people lose their virginity. I think that you create this whole thing about sex, and you elevate the sex to a whole new level. Like, I've got to be perfect, and it's got to be this whole thing. So I would just try to be kind to yourself and try to just say, it's fine. So I'm still virgin. I've got a whole life of sex ahead of me. So don't make it this whole stigma that. That you should already be knowing all these other things and that everyone else knows what they're doing and you don't. I don't think that's true at all. So I would say, where do you get started? I would just start dating. I would just. I mean, you practice by doing. None of us know how to do anything. You can't watch a movie on it. You can't. Whatever. And I would just get started with talking to women. Like, this is what we say in the show. It's for people. Even if people, like, can't find dates or whatever, we always say just, like, practice talking to women. Because there's a lot of fear that men have around rejection with women. Say hi to the woman you see walking down the street, that old woman on the bus, the woman who serves your coffee, Whatever it is. Get comfortable with women and just talking to them and starting the banter. I mean, think about how you talk to your friends, Talk to a woman the same way. I mean, like, just in your comfort, in your comfortable, happy place. And then you'll start finding that there'll be more women that you're comfortable with. And then that could lead to the kissing and then the sex eventually. But I would just take away all the stigmas and all the things you're painting yourself with. Like, I'm a virgin. Not a big deal. Don't trip on it.

Yeah. You know where I get A lot of practice talking to women. You'll not believe it. It's calling customer service. Every time I get like a woman on the line, I say, hey, how you doing today? Oh, how is it there?

And then that's a good idea.

Busting out some jokes. Because at least you're not, you know, that's a good start. You're not face to face. You won't be nervous. Just say whatever, who cares?

It's true.

Just start practicing being around women. That's a good point. Customer service. Although I hate calling customer service.

So many women on customer service want to have sex with me by the end of the phone call.

I'll bet they do, honey. And then what if they saw a picture of you?

Oh, my God, they want to jump through the phone and give me.

You're going to get your rebate or whatever you're calling for. No problem.

I get what I want.

But I would just say, where again? Where do you get started? Me? You could also start dating online where you could just use your words. You know, you could start writing profiles, start meeting women for coffee. I mean, I would start. So don't think it has to move right into sex. Start dating. Start going, like I said, going for coffee. Going for walks, long walks on the beach or whatever. Go to museums, do whatever. And just start hanging out with women. Like, don't even make it about sex. Like, start making some female friends. Slowly start and then build from there. But don't make it like you got a good jump on the sack now and something's wrong with you because nothing is wrong with you, you 22 year old virgin. Thanks for writing. Okay.

Have you ever watched A four year old Virgin?

Yes, I've seen that movie a bunch. Very funny. And she gets a hot chick. Kathryn Keener. I mean, come on, it's a movie.

She's kind of a butter face.

She's not a butter face. Yeah, she's pretty. She has a. I think she's got a super cool vibe. I think she's got a great look. You're like, right. In other words, butter face. No, she's pretty. I like her.

She might need to fix the gap in her teeth a little bit.

The gap in her teeth is what makes her sexy. Like Madonna has a gap in her teeth.

I don't think Madonna's sexy. I've never thought she was sexy ever.

I know, but it's like her look, it's like a characteristic. It's like something that's like a little different. We all have our own Original things.

It was so funny. One time. No, not funny. Why am I. Why are we bagging on people's looks? I don't like.

I don't know. I'm lucky. That's so not who we are. But go ahead.

This one time, it was so funny. I was with my buddy, and we're at a club, and we. We see one of our other friends, and we start talking to him, and he had two girls with him, and I'm like, wow, these girls are really hot. And then one. One of the girls opened her mouth and she had, like, the biggest gap ever.

Okay. And it wasn't a hot gap.

It was not hot.

And you were done. Game over. Yeah. I mean, I guess people could do things. I don't know. You're right. I did date someone recently. I got fixed up on a date and I couldn't get over his teeth. Yeah, I couldn't get over, like, yeah, bad teeth.

And I apologize. Like, sometimes you can't. There's nothing you can do.

Yeah.

It's very expensive.

It's expensive to get it fixed, right?

Yeah. But I would just save all my.

Money and just save all my money and work on my teeth.

Because even if you're out of shape and you have a nice set of teeth, you can get laid.

I know it's true. Because you mess up teeth. It's like we're thinking about kissing you, the whole thing. So. But it's funny because this guy that I went out with who had the bad teeth actually told me nothing ever happened, but he's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to get my teeth fixed over the holidays.

Because he knew.

Yeah, he knew. Do you think he knew? It's a bummer. Your whole life, you're like, I got bad teeth.

So, yeah, I got a little gap because I didn't wear my retainer.

Retainer. I never even noticed you have a gap because you don't smile enough.

Yeah, I freak out about it all the time.

You do? It's cute.

I'm Invisalign. No, I don't like it.

Oh, yeah, get Invisalign. It works. My brother had it, but you don't need it. I never even noticed your gap. And I've known you.

I noticed it all the time.

Does it bother you?

It does bother me.

Really? I think it's so cute. I love your gap. I think you got to embrace your gap. All right. Okay, next email g spot. After 28 years of marriage, try to get that woman to let me find her G spot. Whenever I try to get my fingers inside, she stops me. The way you think she acts, you think I was trying to steal her pot of gold. Keep up the great work, Rick in Maryland.

Well, that's her own problem.

No. Yeah, that is her own problem. The G spot is the bean. So anyway, if you want to know how to find the gene spot, the G spot, I don't know why, Maybe it doesn't feel very good for her when you're sticking your fingers up there. But the best way to find the G spot is through your fingers. Either she could use your fingers or you could use your fingers. But it's that bean shaped, spongy tissue that's above the. It's about the size of a quarter, and it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. Some say it feels like an apricot pit. It's located about 1 to 2 inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall. And the front of the wall. The front wall is the wall of the vagina on the same side as her belly button. So does that make sense? And you do this come hither motion. You, like, stick your fingers inside and it's like up against where the belly button is, but lower, but like that same side, if that makes sense. So I don't know why she does that. 28 years of marriage, you think she'd be like, do whatever. Yeah, but if you find your G spot, the Holy Grail, that would be amazing. I mean, that would be. I think she should let you do it.

Yeah, maybe. Well, it's weird for me to say this, but maybe.

Sex toy.

Sex toy. Oh, God. You knew. You took it right out of my mouth.

I knew it. I can't believe it. But there are. And just so you know that, Rick, there are a lot of sex toys just for the G spot.

Do you work on machinery? Maybe have, like, dirty hands and she's afraid?

Yeah, maybe wash your hands first. For sure. Wash your hands for sticking your fingers up. Anything but the. If you go to Adam and Ev use coupon code Emily at checkout, you get 50% off most items. You get the Kim Kardashian DVD sex tape DVD. And you can just go on to Adam and Eve and Google or search by G spot vibrators. And there are vibrators that have a little curve at the top that are just for the G spot.

Yeah.

And there's a G spot book, G spot handbook. There's a bunch of G spot stuff. So good luck to you. Okay. And finding that and Finding that G spot. I wish you luck. Godspeed. Gay sex. Just wanted to send you an email. I just recently started downloading your podcast, which I think are great, by the way. I do have a question, though. I write a lot of erotic stories and a lot of them have to do with forced sex fantasies, including some about forced gay sex. I'm a straight male, but when I masturbate, I find I get off a lot quicker if I think about being ravaged by a group of men. Does this mean I'm bi, gay or what? Again, I think you're probably. Podcast is great, Steve.

I don't think you're gay or bi or anything. I think it just means that that's what turns you on. A lot of people have fantasies and they don't define who they are. A lot of women have rape fantasies. A lot of women have whatever. But if you really, if you want to know, I mean, I don't. So again, having the fantasies does not make you gay or bi or anything. You're still a straight male. But does it ever make you wonder, like, are you curious about maybe experimenting with men? Like, do you think that it's something you want to do? Or is it like, no, it is only a fantasy. I don't want to. So think about it more like really, truly, truly. You don't have to tell anyone, but do you think you might want to experiment with men?

But again, just because you have the fantasies? Fantasies are not. Not all fantasies are meant to become reality. In fact, a lot of people have crazy fantasies when they're masturbating that they never would want to come true ever. But that's what you think about. So it doesn't make you anything. It just means you have an active imagination and you get yourself off. So good for you. I wouldn't worry about it. That's what I gotta say. Men think. Menace thinks about that all the time, too.

All the time.

Yeah. I mean, don't you? Fantasies that you're like, I don't know if I want that to happen, but I'll have a fantasy about it.

Maybe like having sex with an ex. I'm like, I really wouldn't want to have sex with the ex.

Right. But it was really good.

But it was really good because there's, like, too much drama attached. I don't want to try to have sex with them.

So when you're fantasizing, you're just thinking about her vagina.

Yeah. And how good it was at that time.

Right.

But I know that she is attached to that Vagina. And it's just.

You're right. You can't just get the woman without the vagina. You can't get the vagina without the woman. Bummer.

They have pocket vaginas. That might be good.

They do have pocket vaginas.

When are you gonna release your own line of pocket vaginas?

It's on the list for 2017. The Emily Pocket vagina, I think, would be a huge seller.

It would.

I know. Okay, well, let's move into our topic. Let's move into our important topic. What to talk about and what you shouldn't talk about on a first date.

You should talk about exes, and you should talk about splitting the bill and what else?

You're so funny. First of all, first dates, as we know, can be very painful for some people. Some people are, like, agonizing over first dates. We get a lot of emails about first dates. And in fact, in our survey that I want everyone to go fill out at my Facebook page, sexthemily.

People worry about it. Like, what do you do? What do you say? What's the right thing? You want to come off as witty, funny, and charming, but you never want to come off like, you're trying too hard, especially for women. Like, the way we dress and whatever. We're like, oh, I want to look cute, but I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard. So start by the date. I mean, first of all, I would say you always want to show that you are really happy, even if you're not happy and you had a bad day. No one wants to go out with someone who's like, I hate my boss. I hate my life. Like, that stuff is just, like, boring. And I think if you don't know what to talk about, a great first date starter. And I've had guys say this to me too. They're like, so, how was your day? What's up?

You just go crazy. This, this, this, this?

Yeah. And then they're like, oh, phew, she's talking. I don't talk. And then I usually don't stop talking for the rest of the night. But. But you could just say, like, how was your day? What'd you do today? I mean, it's kind of a great way to be, like, rather than be like, so tell me about your family tree. I mean, just to say, like, how was your day? Is a way to get very, like, intimate quickly and get to know. Not intimate, but you get to know a lot about the person. Like, what do they do? What's their day, like.

And ask them a lot of questions. We always know, like, you don't want to be the one who's dominating the conversation all the time. You want to ask a lot of questions. You want to say, like, you know, what time about your family? Then after you ask, how's your day? How's your family? How's your life? What do you like, what do you do? Where do you want to go on vacation next? Just ask a lot of questions. You don't want to be the one dominating because I think out of nervousness, a lot of guys and women talk about themselves in a nervous way because, like, they feel like they, they don't want to say, so they default to that.

People mostly talk about themselves. People, and everyone likes talking about themselves.

People really like talking about themselves a lot. So I think if you're asking questions, you are for sure gonna get. It's good. It's already gonna be off on a good start.

Yeah. And the best conversation to have is.

You not saying I when hanging out with them. A girl told me that once.

What do you mean? Don't be like, I did this, I did that.

I, oh, I, I. And sometimes it's hard for me because I want to keep the conversation going and they'll be talking about something, and I feel I relate to a story that they're telling me. And I really just want to say, oh, yeah, I, I, I, I this, I that. And I just need to hold back.

I'm just kidding. No, but it's true. It's true. Whenever people do that and they try to turn the tables and we do it to relate oftentimes. But those people can also be seen as narcissists. If you, if there's people who always turn the conversation back to them. Oh, that happened to me once. And you're right. We're doing it from a place of, like, I want to connect with you, but let them finish their story. Like, don't jump in with your own story because it's actually not that interesting. Think of how annoying it is when people do that. I think that girl was right. She's absolutely right. So just be, Remember to be relaxed, be natural, and have fun again in your mind. If you gotta go to a place where you're like, oh, I'm just, like, hanging out with my friends. Like, just try to get to that pure place where you feel most yourself. Like, I often do that. I think about, who am I most myself with my family. I'm totally myself when I'm in Michigan. I'm 100% Emily. There are certain girlfriends that I'm with or guy friends where I'm completely myself. And if you can kind of like get into that place where you feel in your body, you close your eyes and you think, what. What does that feel like to be in that place with these friends or like with your family and try to get into that vibe of you being that person that's the most comfortable, your most comfortable self. Okay. What you shouldn't talk about on the date.

Your ex.

Number one is X.

Number one is X. If you talk bad about them, it seems that you're not over them. If you talk about us, how awesome they are, it also seems like you're not over them. You probably cannot talk about a neutral way about your ex, so don't even try. And I don't think it's pertinent first date information. I don't think that we need to know anything about your ex. I don't want to think about your ex. I don't want to. You don't want to hear about my ex? We just start to, like, trip our mind trips. We remember every detail. Don't bring up your past relationships on the first date. It's good to go out, it's good to talk about what you do for a living. That's important. But do not go on a rant about what you hate about your boss or your job. Again, all the negativity. I'm not saying that you need to pretend because we all have negative.

Things in our life and things we want to complain about, but the first date, and that's interest of fake it, but you just. That's not interesting to people, the complaining and the negativity. So.

Just tell them what you do for a living or whatever. And don't get into the negative stuff. Right. Because it's so boring. And then you just think this person's like a victim.

And I know it's. It's hard to keep the conversation going when you're not talking about yourself, because I'm so interesting, you know? So it's really hard for me not just to talk about.

I know. I'm like, God, you're so boring. I know that if I talk right now, you'll be floored. And I'm so interested. Yeah, yeah. You've been in a first date. I know, I know. You haven't been a first date in a while, have you?

No, no. But I. I'm really good at conversating, I think.

Conversing?

Yeah, conversing. When I'm on the first date. Yeah, I know. There is, like, a few minutes of weirdness when I first hang out with somebody.

Okay, all right. Where do I go? How do I go?

I want to be a fly in the wall with you on a date.

Oh, I'm amazing. I'm so much fun.

Yeah. The last time you went on a date was, like, 2006, but I'm sure you were amazing.

I hang out with people all the time. That can be considered dates, right?

I know you don't. You just don't tell us about it, which is annoying.

What?

I just don't get enough information.

You went on.

I didn't have one, but I would tell you about it. Okay. It's fine to talk about your aspirations and successes in life and all that stuff, but don't boast and brag. So I think that something. A huge turnoff for me and for a lot of women are men, I think is when people feel that they need to brag, they need to drop names, they need to talk about their college gpa, their how much they make for a living. And that stuff, to me at least, is not impressive. I don't want to know that stuff because it just automatically feels like you're bragging and boasting, and that's not attractive. I remember a guy telling me once, like, on the first date, he was like, yeah, my. My Rolls Royce. He's telling me his Rolls Royce. Yeah, I had a problem parking it in the. What? I'm like, check, please.

Joking.

No, he wasn't. He was, like, talking about his Rolls Royce that he had. Not that he was driving it or something about his Rolls Royce in his driveway at home or something. You knew that he was just saying that to impress me, and I couldn't have been less impressed. I couldn't have been more annoyed. Like, I don't care. The Rolls Royce. Not gonna drop my drawers right now because you were Rolls Royce. I don't give a shit.

I okay to bring it back, though.

Bring it back.

I totally hate it. And you brought this up, where people cut you off when you're talking. I hate that.

I hate that, too.

Hate that.

Although we do it all the time to each other.

Yeah. Yeah. But that's okay because we're doing a show. But if I'm in a setting where I'm trying to talk to somebody and then they cut me off while I'm talking, I totally just don't even. I leave.

You mean in life or when you're dating?

Immediately leave right yeah. And just, like, social circles and stuff like that. When I'm, like, at a bar with a bunch of people and I'm trying.

To talk to them, that's rude.

And they. Yeah, cut me off. I'm just. I'm done.

I'm trying hard not to cut you off right now.

Yeah.

I'm like, wait, when can I talk? Okay. Don't use pet names right away. Don't say bae, baby, honey, sweetie to anyone. Too soon. I have a hard time with this because I call everyone honey, sweetie and baby like, all the time. If someone gave me a cup of coffee. Thanks, sweetie, but. But it is a little weird on a first date. Like, I don't do it on first dates. And I actually had an issue with a guy that I went out with on. It was our second date, and he babed me. He prematurely babed me. It was our second date, and he buzzed my door. I have a buzzer in my apartment building. And I said, who is it? And he's like, hey, babe. I'm downstairs. I'm like, babe, did you just prematurely babe me like that me? It's our second date. I'm not your babe. It really annoyed me. So don't use pet names too quickly.

I usually call him shithead.

Hey, bitch.

In a loving way. I don't call him bitch. If there's a girl that I really like, I. I don't call him bitch like my girlfriends. I won't call him a bitch at all. I'll never. No matter. No matter how crazy of a fight we get into, I'll never call him bitch.

You call him anything crazy?

Yeah, crazy. They don't like that.

Girls, we don't like being called crazy because we know we're crazy, so we don't need you to tell us.

Yeah, but I really refrain from calling them a bitch.

That's nice of you, honey.

I'll call them a bitch like, when they're not around.

Of course, second they leave. You're like, that bitch left. Thank God she walked out the door. But, yeah, I think that's a good idea not to call him a bitch. Thanks. That's good. Okay. Most people say that you should not debate politics and religion on the first date.

Of course. But if they're, like, crazy into that and you're not, then you should end it right there.

Yeah, it's true. And politics and religion are so divisive, and maybe you'll end up with a Republican if you're a Democrat, but if you start debating it on the first date, and you get into all that stuff, you're just not going to be connecting on a different level. You're just going to be so strung out by the fact that they're Republican or Democrat or whatever it is that you shouldn't talk about.

I have girls that try to talk politics to me. And me, I just, like. I just go with whatever I like. It doesn't matter what party it is.

Right.

And that always gets me in trouble.

Yeah. Just be careful talking about those kind of things. I mean, if you think on the first date, it's really about showing who you are and your personal, like, you know, just what you do every day, what your job is, what you like, what turns you on. And just in life and talk about politics and religion is much, much more of an intellectual. You can't have an intellectual conversation. But it's much more of a divisive.

Yeah. I think I was, like, Republican almost, the way I talk sometimes.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah. Because I could see that. Yeah.

Hate hippies, but I'm a hippie. On. Yeah, but I probably hate, like, some of your political views.

Yeah, maybe. We've never talked politics.

No, but I'm not.

Let's do it.

I'm not a Republican. You want to talk politics? What do you want? I just.

I don't.

Crazy laws. I just want to talk about sex that I hate. I don't.

Crazy laws. Like, in San Francisco, we've crazy laws. Like, they ban Happy Meals and plastic bags.

Yeah. I hate that kind of crap.

I know. Me too.

America, if I want a plastic bag, give it to me.

Like, do you know that if you cannot get a plastic bag in this town, like, to save your life, you can't get a plastic bag. Like, it's all paper bags. Because we outlawed plastic bags and Happy Meals.

That's why I need to live in Chinatown, because they don't care about the law.

No, I know. They just. They have plastic bags everywhere in Chinatown. It's so funny. Yeah, it's the. Yeah, exactly. Okay.

Plastic bags all day in Chinatown.

It's so true. They always have their plastic bags. But other places, like Walgreens, wherever. Okay. And the next thing is, should you talk about sex on the first date? This is controversial. Many people say no, and it's too much too soon and might scare your date. What do you think about that? I think that sex on the first date. I mean, I don't think you should talk about what you like and what you don't like. I. On my first dates, I always talk about sex. Because it's my job, and I'm not. I don't actually like it, but it comes up all the time.

I'll give you a sign to let you know if it's okay that you talk about sex on your first date.

Wait, what? What's a sign?

If you're at a bar, if you're drinking, you can talk about sex. That's fine.

But what are you gonna say about sex?

I mean, I'm saying you already know the type of lady that you're with, right? It's open for him that you can talk about sex. Believe me.

But don't do anything raunchy like, oh, this one time I had a threesome.

Uptight chick is gonna go to a bar on her first. On her first date.

That's not true.

Enough.

If I'm going out with a guy and he's like, let's go to a bar. I'd go to the bar.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, you are the type of chick that.

I think uptight women don't go to bars.

I'm not. Uptight women don't go to bars on a first date.

I don't think that's true. What if it's after dinner and you're. And you say, let's go to bar.

Okay, then I'm telling you.

I know. You're saying it's kind of your litmus test for women.

I'm telling you right now, it's fine if she smokes.

You and the smokers. What do you think? Women. Women who are smokers and with tattoos, women that have.

It could be separate. It can be separate, or it could be the trifecta that they have all three. But the number one thing is, if they drink, they're down. If they have tattoos, they're down. If they have. If they smoke, then they're down. There's three things.

Down for what? Talking about sex.

Down to get down.

Down to get down. That night.

Yeah, they're good.

They're gonna be the one night wonder.

Well, no, you have a. You have a larger chance of hooking up with them that night. But if you. If you're. If you're hanging out with a girl that has one of those three characters, then you're gonna sleep with her a lot faster than a girl that doesn't have those.

Is this your own scientific study?

It is fact.

Really?

It is fact.

That is so interesting.

I've expressed this to many people, and they told.

You should post that on your Facebook page. I want to know people like what you say? I think that's interesting.

My sponsors wouldn't like me right now.

No, they wouldn't. Okay, be careful. Don't do it.

So I have no sponsors. You notice I get really raunchy and like. Like filthy with my.

No, you're always raunchy and filthy. How can I tell the deaf?

No, but I'm way more. I'm worse when.

Okay. You know, I mean, I've had these dates lately where I was going on a bunch of blind dates a few weeks ago, a bunch of. Not. They weren't all blind, but they were just new dates, new guys. And the problem is I just wrote the book, so they're like, what's going on? I heard you wrote a book. Hot sex. Oh, okay. What's it about? It's about hot sex. 200 things you can try tonight. So I know it's about Pound Town. That's hilarious. So I know that I have to automatically go into sex. And then they always ask me, are guys intimidated by you? Are you really into sex? Are you? Whatever. So I actually have to like. Yeah, exactly. So I have to. I have to have to endure it during my first date all the time. But that's my. Just my life. I chose my career. No one had gone to my head and said, become a sexpert.

Yeah, you should totally just like, pick up on some dude at like 7:11 and then don't even tell him what you do.

Just say, I actually don't. Exactly. I actually would like to not tell guys what I do right away, but it's hard if they. Because everyone Googles everyone. But it would be great to not lead with. I have a sex talk show. I'm a school teacher. Could I pass for a school teacher.

Or like a. Yeah, I can do a school teacher. Like kindergarten school teacher or something like that.

I love children.

Just say your name is like Emily Doris or something. My name is Emily Doris. And this say. Later on say, oh, they. They heard you wrong, you know?

Yeah, it's a good point, Emily, because I don't want to lead with the sex thing because then the guys are thinking, oh, she's. Talk about tattoo, tramp, stamp and whatever. Stamp. Drinking and smoking. If you're a sex person, they're. They think they're gonna go to pound town too. Yeah, I mean, I ain't going to pound town.

How about. Okay, this is where you just. You're only halfway lying. All right, you can say that you're a teacher because you are a teacher.

I'm a teacher.

Too. I'm an educator. I'm a sex edu. Well, I'm an educator. Right.

Leave the sex part out.

Leave the sex part out.

You're an educator and your name is Emily Doris. But they heard you wrong.

That's what he kind of. Okay, that's good. Thank you. I'm gonna do that next time I go on a date, which who knows when it'll be. Okay, everyone, that's what we got for you today.

It was quite entertaining. I'll get you that. Eight things. Yeah, we'll post it with your body language.

But I don't want the butter face thing because I think that's just mean and wrong. Ye.

Yeah, go to the.

But I learned a lot of new terms today.

I like pound town, Pound town, Butter face, and snaggletooth.

I've heard snaggletooth. I just didn't think that Kate Moss had a snaggletooth. She wouldn't have made hundreds of millions of dollars with an ugly snaggletooth.

Well, it does make her hot. That's what's going on.

Yeah, so whatever. She's not a butter face. But her face. Hilarious.

I didn't call her a butter face.

All right, I know it was your sister, but go to whitemen. What is it?

Dot com. You can see it.

Okay, everyone, remember to follow me on Facebook and Twitter. Sex with Emily and Menace is White Menace. And do all those fun things. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwith emily.com there's one overlooked.

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