SWE: Freaky Friday

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all your sex information. And if you do, go to sexemily.com, you listen to our shows, you check out all the information, your sex life will improve.

What are you looking at?

You.

No, I look at the camera.

I never look at the Camera. I always look at you. Is the camera weird? Yeah, because usually the camera's in a different location.

I was looking over at the screen to make sure the camera's okay. And it's like you're looking off.

Okay, I'll look at the camera, but usually I'm looking at you, which looks like I'm looking at the camera. As you know, you have a camera chore, you can watch the show or listen to the show. And we have our amazing Friends with benefits members. Thank you for everyone for subscribing. Today is our free Friday show and we love our free Friday show. And it's actually the Freaky Friday show. We're going to be talking about some freaky sex things that you might not have known about or maybe you did and you want to try. And we have a special guest, one of my favorites, Jamie Waxman. Hi Jamie.

Hi Emily.

She is a co author of our book Hot sex as you know that we've been talking about. I'm flashing into the screen here. It's called hot. Over 200 things you can try tonight. And Jamie is a sex educator. She knows more about sex than almost anyone I know. So I think that Jamie, we're just gonna be. We're just going off. And I have to mention this to you, menace. Yes. Before you came in.

Uh huh.

We kind of did something a little sneaky. A little.

There's a fucking dog in here.

No, the dog's not here.

Jamie, do you want to. Do you have it nearby? Okay. So me Tiana, did you join in? This intern Tiana. It's called Shunga. Shunga. It's.

Shunga is the company.

And then the gel, it's Female orgasm enhancing cream. We all rubbed it on our private parts.

Are you serious?

Yes. We're all tingling right now.

You guys like drop some E before you go?

I know, that's what I feel like.

It's weird. Like I just feel very warm in my body and very cool in my clit.

Exactly. It's. My clit's cool right now.

Wow.

I've got a cooling clit and Jamie made me do it.

It's nice to have cool clit on a Friday.

Cool clit on a freaky Friday. So it's called Shunga if you want to try it. It's miss Female orgasm enhancing cream. And it's supposed to help women orgasms. Right? Cause it helps the blood rush to.

Your engorge, brings awareness to your areas where you place it. And I guess I haven't tried it during intercourse yet, but I assume that if air hits it while you're doing this, that the tingling cooling sensation gets even stronger.

Wow.

There are lots of these out on the market. And I was in LA this week. I just moved to San Francisco.

What? Welcome.

Ten weeks ago?

Yeah.

And I. I'm sorry, where are you originally from?

I'm originally from New York.

New York?

Yeah.

Are you ready for the men in San Francisco?

I hope so.

It's a bunch of pussies.

Oh my God.

She just moved yesterday. She'll find that out in no time, I'm sure. But yeah.

So I was just at the Expos Retail Expo in Los Angeles.

What happened there? What is that exactly? Tell us.

So this is an expo that happens at least once a year. It might be twice a year. And this was all sex toy manufacturers where I was. There were two expos going on and so there were over 50. There were 57 booths of different manufacturers. Manufacturers who are promoting their newest products and some of their, you know, best sellers. And so I was actually hired by X Biz to go around and interview somebody from each of the booths to ask them about what they're excited about for 2012, what their best selling products are.

Oh my God. So.

So I learned a lot.

Oh my God. That's really cool. Are you going to be writing this all up?

Well, actually we did video. I mean there was a camera guy following me around and I interviewed someone. So they're going to cut the videos and put them on the exposure website.

Awesome.

And XBIZ is like it's one of the industry sources for all like the sex toys and porn. And then it was just such a fun time. And I. And Shunga was one of the booths that I stopped at and they gave me this great lip gloss too. That's clear. That is great for blowjobs. It tastes really yummy.

Oh my God.

And they do a lot of like the sensual sort of creams and chocolates and things like that for couples. They're very couple focused.

Okay, so what was that? What was some of the highlight thing? You interviewed 57 people. What's the big stuff coming for 2012?

Well, one thing I was really interested in, I brought you guys each one of these are these mask sexual flavor strips. So this guy Michael and his company interviewed, they said it was a really large study they did for women and gay men to ask them what would get them to give more blowjobs. And they said they didn't do cunnilingus because they thought that women would be offended with the same question. Which was interesting. And they found out that taste was a really big factor for going down. So they made these strips. And there's chocolate, there's mango. Like this one.

We interview the guy.

We did.

Or is it the same guy?

It is the same guy. Product.

Yeah. But we didn't actually have them to taste.

Are they from Santa Cruz?

They are from somewhere.

Okay.

Outside of their mother's vagina.

Yeah.

Do you want to taste one, Menace? I'm gonna taste watermelon. Why?

Because I don't plan on giving any blow jobs anytime soon. So you.

I think we should all taste them. Come on, Menace.

Tiana couldn't get on, stick her little face in the camera.

She said mango is his favorite.

Mango.

Just try it. You can use it. I'm good.

Here's mango. I have strawberries.

Okay. So these are mask. They mask the taste of semen.

Salt. Bitter. Well, they mask certain things like salt and bitterness and certain flavors that your tongue experiences for 15 minutes. So I actually still have some coffee. So I'm curious to see what's gonna happen when I take this, what the coffee will taste like. Like, I asked him what a potato chip would taste like after this, and he said you would taste the carb, which I'm not really sure what carb tastes like, but you wouldn't taste the salt and other things. And like I said, 15 minutes. It lasts. You put this on, and apparently it makes oral sex more enjoyable. I originally was honestly very offended by the product. But as I got to know the man and the product, I feel like if this helps people and.

Exactly.

Jobs. More fun for people who don't enjoy them like I do, then all the.

Power to it, don't you think? That menace. If women can give this help.

Anything that helps a woman give more blowjobs, I'm all for.

We're tasting and we're sucking these down right now. I don't know. They don't even. I have watermelon.

You're so big and strong.

Oh, well, I heard some semen doesn't taste good.

Well, that also can be a result of diet and smoking and beer drinking.

Let's talk about that. So semen can taste. Okay, so today's show, it's Freaky Friday.

Well, first thing, they need to work on the fucking design of opening these things.

Okay, but Jamie, Jamie, I think we're just going all over today, and everything that we talk about today is gonna change your world. Rock your world.

That's the strip, right?

Yours is green, Mine's green. I've got a green watermelon.

This is orange.

Okay, so which. Does it matter which way it goes, I wonder?

No, I think it's just dissolved.

Yeah, it's just like one of those listeries. Breathe. Right? Yeah.

Okay, so here's strawberries pink.

I need a penis right now.

I'm a little nervous.

I feel like I need a penis to see if it really works to give a blow job. Okay.

Is it bad?

It's not bad. It's watermelon. Y. Which one's yours? Mango.

Strawberry, maybe.

They put extra flavoring on it though, because the. They needed to mask the Tiana.

What do you have chocolate? You like?

It was the best. It was very jelly at the end. Did yours get gelatin?

Like it's jelly?

Yeah, but that. This. Would those Listerine strips do?

I mean, I gotta tell you, a lot of women have strong aversions to oral. Performing oral sex on guys. And if it has to do with taste, which I did not know that was the main reason, but it would make sense. It would make sense. But I didn't know that was like the number one thing. Pop in a mask and it lasts for 15 minutes, which is more than those Listerine strips. Those never last. They don't seem like they last 15 minutes.

Do you taste very watermelon? Y. I'm very strawberry right now.

I'm very watermelony.

Well, I also heard it, you know, for you guys that get these strips for your ladies and they don't like them because of the taste and stuff like that, it's a little more costly. But if you get a Chanel purse for your lady, I heard you get a huge amount of blowjobs. It's really insane one after the other.

Is that like over a long period.

Of time or is that least for like a week?

I think that's a short. I think that's like, like, like a fast and furious. Like, she's psyched about the purse for like a week. I don't think it has long standing impact.

It probably doesn't, but, you know, she.

Forgets she's on to the next. She wants a Gucci purse the next week.

Yeah, it is a lot cheaper.

Hold on, I just dropped my pen.

Okay. So for me, I mean, I definitely taste the strawberry still. I also feel like it's freshened my breath a little.

Oh, good.

Okay. So you have that same feeling too. So. Yeah. So this was one of the interesting products that I had never, ever, ever come across before. And yeah, years of research. I mean, I.

It's A little water. I need a drink. Or a penis.

I mean, I don't know.

Okay, so what else did you find out at the.

Okay, so another thing that I. The We Vibe 3. We Vibe has come out now. We Vibe is this couples vibrator, right?

I have one of them. I love it.

You probably have the one.

I used it. You know, they sent it to me years ago and I used it. Yeah, I have the one. So tell me about the We Vibe. It's good because couples.

Well, it's for couples. And you wear it while you're having intercourse because most women, 33% of women, can orgasm through vaginal penetration alone. And I still believe those women have clitoral stimulation. Being their clitoris is being engaged during the rubbing process of the thrusting or whatever. Okay, so the We Vibe helps women orgasm by. It's. It's a clitoral energy spot stimulator that you slide inside of you and then the penis slides under it. Now the We Vibe 3 has all of these new pulsing. These pulsing features, their favorite pulsing features. And this is my favorite part. It's remote control, so you can change it. So. Oh, the We. So the woman, Sarah Boves, who's the marketing director at We Vibe, I adore her. She gave this great idea. You basically, like, she can be your wife, could be wearing it. You walk in the door, you have the remote in the car. You turn it on before you get home so she knows that you're on your way home. Text her, put in the We Vibe. I'll let you know when I'm home. And bam. When you get home.

Oh, it's really cool. I mean, the We Vibe's gotten great, great press, and a lot of.

It's the number one selling sex toy for couples. I mean, so much so that, that the two who started it have gone into semi retirement.

Damn.

Oh, my God. Okay, I think you can buy it at Adam and Eve.

Can you buy it@adamandeve.com I would, I would hope so.

I would.

Check it out.

Adam and Eve.com. just so you all know, you get 50% off one item and you get the new Kim you, not the new. The old Kim Kardashian sex cd. They're throwing in her sex tape. Plus a mystery gift, plus free shipping if you use coupon code Emily at checkout. So just go to AdamAndEve.com and you can buy the We Vibe. I, I actually have one. I used it once. I, I, I need to get more into it because it keeps coming up. How great it is.

I do think two things. One, if you have pub, you want to use lube with it. Well, you want to use lube anyway, but you want to make sure you use lube on the external part because it hurts the pubic hair sometimes from the silicone. Oh, and the other thing is, the three is, like fully immersible. There's no little battery. It's amazing. And then the other thing is, it also depends on your fit. I mean, that's going to be the biggest factor for people. Some people who are like, well, it didn't really do it for me. If your partner is really well endowed and you're really small, then it could be not the most. It could be the toy that's not right for you. But there are so many other toys that are. But we Vibe three. Oh, check it out. I think it's amazing.

Okay, cool.

I keep on thinking Wii, like the.

Nintendo W E Vibe V I B E. Cool.

But they. They have sexual attachments. Now, for the Wii, I heard.

Oh, the Wii. The Wii.

Yeah.

The Wii wi.

Nintendo game. Yeah.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Okay. I've got watermelon mouth. Yeah.

I don't want to throw everything off real quick, but I just have to ask you because it's just gonna bug me the entire time you're talking. Last time you were here, you're talking about not shaving your pits. Okay, let me know how that goes.

So that went for four months. I did not shave my pits.

What?

I actually have photos. I will send you guys photos, but I am proud to say I have shaved. I decided when I was moving from Los Angeles, I actually went from August to December without shaving my pits. And I have to tell you, in Los Angeles, it got weird because I'd be at the gym and we'd be stretching in class and I would see the gym instructor, like, do three double takes on me. This girl really, like, come in.

In La Repe.

Yeah. But what happened was I've been seeing someone and he was like, it would be really sexy if I could shave your pits. And I was like, okay, when I leave Los Angeles, let's make that. Like, I wanted to make it into a merkin, honestly, but it wasn't enough.

Hair for a pubic hair.

So he did shave my pits. And ever since then, I've been shaving and I honestly miss the hair.

You do?

Oh, no.

Oh, my God. So what kind of react. What did you learn from it? Why were you doing it?

Well, I learned a lot of it was about me. I was Doing it. At first, I did it just to see how I would feel if I still felt feminine and sexy and what that meant to me. And then also the reactions from people like partners and whatever else. I learned that most people, if they loved me, would deal with it, but weren't, like, excited by it.

We love you, Jamie, but. Whoa, stay over there. Right?

And so. And then actually, by the end, I was getting a little sick of it because I was feeling uncomfortable because there was so itchy. It wasn't itchy, and I didn't smell bad, but, like, you know, I'd put my pit down and there would still be hair.

That is just. Yeah. I mean, Jamie, my hat goes off to you for doing that. I can't. Were you shaving your legs at the time?

Yeah. For some reason, I don't like hair on my legs, but. And I wax, so it's like, funny. Like, it was just my pits. In fact, when I went in for my waxing before I shaved, she looked at me and she goes, I don't think it's your pubes we should be worrying about.

I love it.

Now, did you. When he shaved you, did you have like a ceremony or, like, was there any candles lit and some R. Kelly music playing?

It was like the day before I was leaving Los Angeles. He cut it first. He did it very gently, and he cut it.

You do need to cut it when it gets that long.

You need to cut it when it gets that long. And then he just shaved it very gently. And honestly, what's been great is I haven't shaved very much like this. I've shaved twice since it's happened.

Oh, wait. So it. Cause the hair growth, you let it grow for a while. So there you go. That's a good reason to grow your armpits. You don't shave as much. I lasered mine off.

Now do you have to go back and shave?

Never. It's done for life. I did it 10 years ago. I never shaved my armpits. I have no hair.

Wow.

It's life changing.

Wow.

It's like one less thing to worry about.

Laser.

Yeah, laser. And so, okay, what else? Was some big things there. So we got the mask, we got the we vibe.

So there's so many I'm really excited about. So Stockroom. JT Stockroom out of Los Angeles is more of a kinky. They're. They're very into the kink BDSM world. They have a very affordable electro stim kit, the Violet wand kit. That's theirs, which has been out for a little while. But what they're putting out this year, I think it's. If it's not out now, it's coming out in March. It's a metal plate and I forgot. Guys, if you're listening from stockroom, let let us know what it is. I forgot what it's called, but it's something. It's either a clip or a buckle in the middle.

Okay.

And it's a metal plate. Cord. It's a metal plate and it's attached to this long cord. And you. Your body becomes the electrostim. So if I touched you and I was wearing this belt buckle, you would start to feel shocky and tingly.

Oh, my God.

We did a three person chain. One of my other friends did a five person chain. And it was one of the most. I felt so alive afterwards.

Wow.

And I'm like really scared of large shocks. And I loved it. And I want one.

Well, I saw that Adam and Eve, they have a shock therapy electrosect kit. It's a great way to start sex and mischief. Bed bondage kit. Oh, it's a sexy slave kit. If you want it. If you ever wanted to try it out. I never. I'd never heard of it.

The thing about electrostim that you need to know. And the belt buckle would be different, but if it's pieces that are attaching to your body, if the electrostim is too much, you must turn it off before you rip the pad off of your skin.

Okay, Good to know.

Huge, huge mistake I once made.

Okay, Very painful. You got the shocks.

Okay, Very painful.

Okay. And anything else there that you love?

So I like. I can go on and on.

I love it. No, this is good. This is like what's happened in 2012 for sex.

Doc Johnson is coming out with a line of toys called Wonderland. That looks like a very famous story tale. Story. Storytale. Is that even a word? A fairy tale? It looks. It's. It's. If you can think of what might go with Wonderland. There's a cat and a worm and a mushroom and a rabbit. And they are little pocket rockets with. And they are adorable. I'm in love with the cat. So Doc Johnson has this Wonderland line coming out that is so cool and like 40 bucks and under for these beautiful, great gift toys that I think everyone's gonna love. Oh, yes. Okay. Another one. So sliquid and love. Well, Love Honey is like the big brand and they're out of the uk, but they have this rock box coming out that they claim is Way more powerful. And I've put it on over my clothes at the Expo than the. The. This. You know, the famous magic wand.

Yes.

They. They claim that this puts it to shame. In some ways, it puts the Hitachi.

Magic wand to shame.

And I have to tell you, they put it up to number six, and I was screaming to get it off. Like, it looks like a power tool. And you put it on your. And you, like, hold it on your body. And I was freaking. I think the whole expo floor heard me screaming.

Oh, my God.

I. I love five is alive. And then they have a new rabbit coming out called the Happy Rabbit, and it's all silicone and it has no. It's all bendy. There's no hard pieces in it. It's beautiful. And it's poppy colors, like purples and pinks, and I was really excited about that.

Oh, that's really cool. Okay. I love to hear all the new toys. I wish I went with you. Jesus Christ. Would we have fun? God damn it. I wanted to go. That's awesome. What's up, Menace?

Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about.

I was talking about sex toys is making you want to leave.

No, no, no.

Menace has never used a sex to tour yet.

I was thinking about C. I was thinking about cs. I'm depressed that we didn't.

Everyone did. See? Yeah, I know we were talking about it, but you were saying. Even av. We were thinking, because CES and the Adult Video News.

Everyone'S in Vegas right now. Yeah.

The truth is, CES and A E weren't the same time this year. It's the first year that they aren't. A E is actually next week at the same time as a gun show. I heard. So that should be an interesting.

Oh, my God.

That's.

Yes, it's gone next week. It's the 18th, 19th, and 20th.

I know. We go road trip. I want you to know that I am doing contests right now where I'm giving away a couple copies of our book, hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. You gotta email me feedbackexthelmy.com and let me know why you think you need a copy of this book. Why do you deserve a copy of this book? Give me a compelling reason, and we might just give you a copy of it. How about that? And also, we've got a poll. We've got the results to our latest poll, which was. What is your first date? Deal breaker.

Okay. Ready? Showing up without a plan. 7%. 20% said splitting the bill. 40% said rude to the waiter and talking about their ex. 33%. So the. Actually, the biggest thing that pisses people off. It pisses people off if they're rude to the waiter. I would think it would be showing up without a plan, because that pisses me off. First date and.

Well, you can't do that. You can't do that. You're screwing yourself. You're screwed, you mean?

Yeah.

So what do you want to do? What do you want to do? I had a. I had this first date not too long ago. It was a effing nightmare.

Why?

Because a place that I. I planned on going to go eat was closed.

Oh, so what'd you do? Back up. What'd you do?

Back up.

Taco Bell was closed. I thought Taco Bell never closed.

No, right. But it was too late and it was closed. Then I go, oh, but I already planned ahead of time. And I was like, oh, yeah, we're gonna go to this restaurant, and then we're gonna go to this bar. We go to the bar. The bar is packed. And I go to pay for the drinks. They're like, oh, yeah, cash only. There's an ATM in the back. Oh, okay.

Oh, you're that dude.

I was like, oh, okay. So I go back to the atm, the fucking atm. I'm using the F word a lot today sometimes. ATM wasn't working and there was no other places around to go to the atm. I was like, I'm sorry, we got to go to another. So then we had to, like, drive, like, super far to another place, go into this other place, find out it's only wine and beer.

Oh, that's your biggest nightmare.

Biggest nightmare.

I know. So, honey, that's a bad plan. Did you ever go out with her again?

Yeah, I went out with her again, but. Oh, my God, you gotta have. You gotta have backup plans.

You gotta have cash. You gotta backup plans. You gotta have the whole thing.

What do you mean? I'm that dude. What did you. What did you mean by that when I.

What did I.

Because I was like, I went to go pay, and it was cash only. Oh, I want to go pay him.

Like, no, no, you're that dude that didn't. No, no. There's always the dude that doesn't have the wallet or the money. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But, you know, there's always those stranger like, oh, I forgot my wallet. Yeah, you can cover this dinner on our first date. I'm kidding. You're not really that dude. All right, that's what I Meant don't dip. Yes. Don't be afraid.

That guy. I'm like a guy that tries to pay with his card, let's say the most.

Honey, I said that 30 seconds ago. You know, I don't remember.

So it meant it's. Are you looking for a girlfriend or are you just, like, dating?

I would like a girlfriend, but I don't know. Have you met women? It's so hard.

Menace, I know you sometimes think, if I. If I was a dude, I'd just be gay.

I would, too, but the sex hurts too much.

But if you give, you don't have to.

I know Menace doesn't really, like. Okay, do you call, like, waiting for women to hit on you and fall on your lap dating? That's how Menace dates. He doesn't ask people out.

He doesn't really care. I do, I do. I go out with people. She's just like, I'm just not going out with every single person that says yes. Like, she does. That's every person he thinks.

I say yes to every person you make out with.

Everybody.

Just Reid Mihalka when he was on the show. Jamie knows Reed, the guy that I kissed in the kissing workshop.

Was that the only guy you made out with recently?

I made out with, yeah. I think that was the only guy I made out with. I had to do a kissing workshop a few months ago, and Menace was appalled.

Menace, how do you really feel about.

Was not one of my finer moments, but it was. You know what I feel like it was at Good Vibrations, and it was a kissing workshop where I was the model for him. And I feel like we did a service and we helped people kiss.

What did you learn about kissing?

You should definitely brush your teeth beforehand. At least the guy should. And I think you know just the same things you say about kiss. Like, if you. Because, Madison, I have this thing. He's like, if a girl's a bad kisser, it's game over. Or he doesn't kiss her, he just fucks her. But. But I think that. That you can improve kissing. What do you think?

What's your bad kisser's a bad kisser. They can get a little bit better, but if you just don't have that connection.

I dated someone for long, long, long time. That the first time I kissed him, I know he's not listening, so I can say this. I thought, oh, dear boy, you are the worst kisser I've ever dated. Now, I dated him for years after this, okay? And honestly, it never got to the point where we Were good kissing. If it's not there. I agree with Menace on this. If it's not there, the chemistry. I mean, they might not be a bad kisser for someone else.

Right.

But if it's not there with you, that's the thing. It can only improve so much. And you either like, I need to be. I need to melt that first kiss now, or I'm not gonna be able to do it.

That's interesting. I always think you can kind of approve it, but that's how men is.

That's how I feel.

Yeah, that's right. I guess I feel like I haven't had that many bad kisses.

But it doesn't mean that you're gonna have a bad relationship with the person either.

No, but it means kissing's really important. So you're like, I just skipped right to the Oral Sox or whatever. You're like, just go down on me. We don't need to catch.

We went straight to Pound Town. We use Pound Town now on the show. I don't think she likes it, but.

Where'D you get it? Huh?

Pound Town. Everyone talks Pound Town.

I know what it means.

I mean, I get it. We're not dumb Pound Town. But menace. Yeah, it's hilarious. Are you going to Pound Town this weekend?

I'm going to try to go to Pound Town as many times as I can this weekend.

Do you have plans with someone to go to Pound Town?

I currently don't have any plans to go to Power.

It doesn't matter because he just gets wasted and then he finds someone.

We're just like, hey, what's up? Hey.

Do you.

I go, the next stop is the what?

Do you have a favorite condom?

The favorite condom. Probably trying to think. I don't know. I always thought they get the. The. The Trojan Ultra ribbed condoms. Or like, oh, that's what you're supposed to get or whatever, but it doesn't really matter.

Yeah. What about you? Do you have a favorite condom?

They say they don't feel a difference. Do you feel a difference at all?

I really don't.

There are some condoms I just don't like. There are some thicker condoms, but I love Crown. It's been my favorite for years.

I don't even know it.

It's. It's this. I don't even know who honestly makes it. It's Crown and Beyond 7 are the two that come from this company. Crown is like a pale pink light. It's always been reliable. It's never broken on me.

Okay.

And when I give it to guys to use for the first time. They're like, I've never heard of this. And they actually say it feels different.

Oh, that's good. Because a lot of guys are like, anti condom.

Yeah, I'm trying this new titanium condom. I don't know how much pleasure it is for her, but we've got a.

Lot of lifestyle condoms. Lifestyle sent us a bunch of condoms that we're going to be doing kiss of mint.

If they sent you any kiss of mint, I don't know.

Well, those are the minty ones, right? Those are cool.

They're amazing. And they don't. They're non lubricated.

Just like my clitoris is tingling right now. Have we mentioned that, that we put on clitoris? We put on this. If you're just joining the show, we put on this cream, this erotic shunga cream of arousal cream. All of our clitorises are getting aroused.

It's like ecstasy for your clitoris, kind of.

That's a good tagline if you want to.

There's actually a company called, I thought it was called Extase E X T A S E. And they make this little remote control vibrator and you can program up to like 30 vibes on one remote, but it's E X T A S E and it's pronounced ecstasy.

Oh, nice.

I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't either.

I was like, so tell me about X stays. And they're like, well, we'll tell you about ecstasy now.

Have they gone solar power with these things yet?

You know, I've seen one or two.

Yep.

Really?

I have heard about that. Yeah. Solar power vibrators. Yeah, yeah, I've heard, I've heard about it, but I haven't seen it because.

You gotta go green.

Rechargeable is way more popular than the solar.

A lot, a lot of the, a lot of the vibrators are rechargeable now.

Wow.

Wow. Yeah.

No, no, yeah, yeah, they're. Of course they're rechargeable. Aren't you afraid of the ones that plug into the wall?

No, that's one of my favorites.

Are you serious?

Honey?

Aren't you afraid of like some malfunction? You have never visited the manufacturer, like warehouse, like where they put these things together. It could be some like crazy person and he like Mrs. Some part of the safety mechanism that keeps it from electrocuting and our vagina.

You better not get in your car because what if like the guy at the car dealer, when he created your.

Car, he was like, I' don't be paranoid, but are you talking about the Hitachi magic wand?

I'm actually talking about the Erosalator, which.

Is like the Eros.

You told me about that. I don't know about it.

I love. It's this. It's got a long like 30 foot cord. It looks like a. Like a toothbrush. Really? It's gold.

How do you spell it again?

E R O S C I, L L A T O R. There's a link on my site on jamiewaxman.com.

Yeah, Jamie. Okay. If you want to know who this amazing chick is. Jamiewaxman.com but how do you spell it?

J A M Y E. Yeah, I have. Not my fault.

I have a question. So now they have like all these sex robots, you know, that. That guys can have sex with. Is there any robots for women yet?

I haven't seen like a high end sex robot for women yet. But there are, you know, lots of dildos. And you can put them in like pillows so that they stay in a specific place. Like there are sex pillows and things like that. There are this one company made this little blow up man ring toss for bachelorette parties and they put one of their employees faces on it because he didn't show up to work one day.

Oh my God.

So there's like that, but you wouldn't have sex with it, Right? But there are lots of. Oh, another thing that I was just like enamored with this weekend. Cal Exotics came out with a line. There's this guy, Phil Verone, who was a drummer for skid row. I was like a huge skid row freak. But I think he was after my time. Anyway, they made a line of his toys and they made these vibrating drumsticks that are adorable. And then they made a filverone dong. And it's pierced. You can take out the piercing. And he has a freaking thick cock. Like so they.

So they made it and they made his penis.

He was on sex rehab. Okay.

I don't. Okay. Do you know him?

No.

He's some rocker. But his cock is like really big. And so he molded it and it.

Sure it is. How do you know it's really his? Like if I was a guy and I was molding my cock, I'd be like, yeah, this is my cock.

No, it goes into. They went. I mean. Because I know the women who run Cal Exotics and. And they, they did it with him.

I would just say any guy could be like this.

And he's in Playgirl like from a few Years ago.

There's a place around here in the city. I don't know, some random art gallery where they have molds of like all these famous people's.

Like, that's probably Cynthia Plaster caster or something, because she used to do.

They had like Jimi Hendrix's wiener there.

She's very famous for going around in the 60s and 70s and 80s as a groupie. And what she was famous for doing is plaster casting all of these rock stars penises.

Wow. I'm surprised they were down with that. Well, rock stars then I guess they would.

They're rock stars even if they don't have a big cock. They think they do.

Exactly. Exactly. That's like the clone of Willy. Do you know anyone who's ever used that?

I have tried it, actually. Of course.

How well does it work?

Well, I tried it years ago. Grant Stoddard is a friend of mine. I haven't seen him in years, but he used to be a regular writer for Nerve.

He had a.

A column called I did it for science and we were hanging out in LA for like three weeks in Yosemite, outside of la. And actually it was way outside of la and he had to do a make your own dildo for. I did it for science and he asked me to help him mold it. We didn't do it right. Like it had air bubbles and it wasn't like the best dildo ever, but it was really interesting. The hardest part about the clona Willy, you have to stay erect in the cast for two minutes. So you have to do things like someone's got to be that.

You got to be like.

Or you got to be like getting made, you know? And we were not like super sexual together. So it was. I was like, here, read some magazines.

Right.

Well, they did it on the Osbournes too. I don't know if you catch that.

No.

When the Osbourne. No, the son did it.

Oh, Jack.

Yeah, it was. It was pretty hilarious.

Did you get to see it on the show?

No, they were like blurring it out. But they showed him walking around with like the cup on his.

That's hilarious. No, I never thought. The Colonial Willie is. Where is a kit that you can buy that would actually.

I bet you can buy that Adam.

And Eve coupon code.

Emily, have you seen this? Because we saw it online somewhere. Is for people that are long distance relationships where one person has the vagina on the other side and the one other person has like a. On the other.

Is that the real touch are you talking about?

It's like usb.

I don't know if that's the one I'm thinking of. I've heard of that.

Yes.

Yeah.

There's a company called Real Touch AEBN that is doing all of these hookups where you. You can get it. I know that there's a one for Matt for guys. And you plug it into your computer and then you put on a video and whatever's happening on the video, you feel it happening.

Is that kind of what you're talking about?

No, but this is like you. You're actually having sex with. With like a. Let's say a pocket vagina. Right. But on the other end, it's doing the motion of your penis with the penis. So, like a girl has. So you get it?

Yeah, I get it.

Dildo on her end. And he's feeling it on his end.

Yeah, well, he's like. Like he's putting his penis into the pocket vagina and making it move on the other end. On the other computer.

No. How come we don't know about this? I don't know.

I don't know. But I can tell you this. I don't. I. I don't do long distance relationships anymore. I was reading this great Modern Love in the New York Times.

Oh, I love modern love.

She said something about long distance and she said when you're together, it's these exceedingly, you know, beautifully high highs and excruciatingly low lows. And I'm like, oh, that's the formula of long distance. That's why I hate it.

It's called. They call them vacation relations because they're always vacation. You're always on vacation? Yeah. You're like long distance. You're in town. We've got three days. Let's just have sex the whole time and eat, order in food.

Oh, you love long distance relationships.

I know. Because I don't as much anymore, but I did just because I like that they're not around all the time. Yes, I'm busy. Like the guy who wants to see you every single day. Like, I got stuff going on, so.

I used to like that I want to be seen every single day.

You do.

I'm like, who's that one in Wonka Veruca? I want it now. I want it all. I want what I want.

No, no, I totally get it. I get it. I mean, like, yeah, it gets exciting for a while, but then it just, you know. Okay, this is our latest poll on our website that you gotta go check it out now@texthelmy.com. how long do you think foreplay should last? A, What? Foreplay. B, 5 minutes, C, 15 minutes, D, 45 minutes, and E, all night long, baby.

What would you say, Em?

Well, I would say.

I would love a 45 minute sesh, but it's probably not gonna happen, so I'd say 15 minutes at least. And I can already answer for menace. Menace would be a what? Foreplay.

Foreplay. Yeah. No, if they're a good kisser, I'll foreplay all day. I'm just saying.

Right.

But if they're not, it's just like.

I would say all night long, baby.

Yeah, I know.

Foreplay.

Because again, we talked about this before, that sex is not just penetration. Foreplay is sexual. Like that is part of the whole experience. If you can make foreplay last all night, that's amazing. I guess I would say that as.

Long as she's taking me Taco Bell after, I'm good.

He's obsessed with Taco Bell.

I wonder why Bob's Big Boy has locks on the door when they're open 24 hours.

Yeah.

What do you mean they have locks on the door?

Like there's locks on the doors. You walk into a Bob's Big boy that's open 24 hours, but they're open 24 hours all day.

Why do 24 hour places have locked clothes?

I know Kinko's used to have. They have to be 24 hours and they close all the time. Pissed me off. Is that what you're talking about?

No, just why they have locks in general.

Oh, if you're always Christmas. Christmas.

Nothing closes on Christmas anymore, I feel.

Yeah. Thank God. Cause when we're Jews, like, it's a nightmare. It's the longest day of the year. Cause nothing. You can't do anything.

You gotta prepare.

It's Christmas.

She's screwed because she doesn't cook. There's no food in her house, so you probably almost starve to death.

I do. I do. I literally am like, ramen noodles. I'm like, I know I had some ramen noodles around here somewhere.

I can't get food. Nothing is open.

Okay, I've got a little bit. We're not really doing a traditional. We're doing everything today. But I've got a little bit of sex in the news that I thought, what else would be good? There's really not that much. But morning sex is healthy for you. Can I hit it in the morning? Making love at 7:30am Can I hit it in the morning? Making love at 7:30am is apparently one of the best ways that you can make your day healthy. A new study has revealed 7:30am the body produces a surge in sex hormones and a rush of adrenaline to get the person going in the morning. So morning sex is healthy.

I love morning sex because I have so much energy in the morning. You do at night I'm, I'm done. I'm just like, get off of me. It's so fucking hot.

Yeah. See, morning sex, morning sex I like, but I always feel like I'm up. I'm glad that I'm awake and I gotta go see. I got stuff to do.

I just, I could. I like sex a lot.

You're like, I don't care when I.

Like morning sex where you don't even finish and then you're all day like. And then you come home at night and then you finish.

Oh yeah, that's good too. Morning and night sex, I don't care. But it's just saying that's healthy for you. So. And it helps a lot of couples with kids and stuff to get to do it in the morning. So just know that it's also healthy for you. Yeah, yeah.

You gotta do it when the sun's coming up. Then you get like that night morning.

Vibe when the sun's coming up. When you wake up at like 4am can you get anyone to have sex with you at 4am? At 4am don't you wake up early? Medicine, early morning radio show?

No, I can't get. But I've done it in the past. Like when I was dating with like, like I had somebody that was living with me that I was dating. I would wake up that early and have sex with them and then go to work.

Yeah, I like, I actually this last. In December, there were two mornings at 5:15. One morning I woke up and one the guy I was seeing woke up at like 5:15 in the morning. I woke up, I'm like, I just need sex. And he did the same thing the next day. We had sex and then we went back to bed.

That's awesome. That's good. That happens in the new relationships. You wake each other up, you have sex all the time and then you.

Goes downhill. No, no. Doom and gloom. I'm reading doom and gloom.

Right?

I'm not doom and gloom.

I'm just saying that's.

The Passionate Marriage by David Schnorz is one of the best books I've been reading.

I've heard about. I have it. I actually own it. Never read it.

I just started reading it last week and it really is a wonderful book for couples on how to keep that relationship.

The Passionate Mar. I own it. I need to read it.

So David Sharnash, David Schnarsz, the Passionate Marriage.

Another Jew writing about sex.

Jews and sex. I mean, we're one of the only religions that didn't get, like, beaten down with how bad sex is and how evil.

That's true. That's why, I mean, literally most of the sex experts that we know in the world are Jewish. And I don't know what that means. I don't know, because we didn't get beaten down. My mom was like, did you want to talk about sex?

Hell no, I don't want to talk about sex.

It's actually been really fascinating. I know you're going to do more stuff.

Just email. Oh, we've got time. Keep talking.

I'm working on this site that's about to launch called gasm.org and it's all about female sexual pleasure. And it's everything from, like, how to have an orgasm to sex and disability sex and illness sex and being a new mom. Orgasms and being. So it covers, like, everything for women. And that's what we're. We're actually looking for women in New York right now. So people can email me@jamieasm.org if that's J a M y e. If they want to be interviewed on camera about female orgasms.

I love it.

But it's really fascinating to see the array of, like, people's experiences around orgasm. There was a girl who was telling me she can't describe her orgasms only in colors. So she must have synesthesia where, like, her. Her synapses are kind of crossed. Like sometimes you smell and see, but she. Every orgasm is a color. She can't tell you what it feels like. She can tell. I mean, she can, but she can tell you more. What color is it?

That is so interesting. So this website. So it's gasm g a s m.org.org.

It'S not launched yet. It's gonna launch in the next few days.

Oh, my God, how exciting. Yeah, you write something. Okay, I wrote something for that.

We're gonna have you on it again.

Because the elusive female orgasm, people need a place to go to understand it because God knows we get a million emails about them and that's what everyone wants to ask about and understand as a female orgasm. And they could put some tingling stuff on their clitoris.

Do you find it on the website?

Do you find an orgasm on the.

Website or are you able to find it.

Oh, my God. That would be a great game. Find the orgasm.

No, we want to do an app.

We want to do an app like, dude, where's my G spot?

Oh, my God. You should totally do that.

Apple G spot locator.

Yeah.

And then has a little. And then a little gps.

Baby. We're developing it even more and more. I love it. Well, I was just gonna read an email here about kinky sex that I thought that maybe we could talk about.

Are you saying it's freaky Friday because it's Friday the 13th? Are you just saying freaky Friday in general? Just throwing it out there.

Well, it's freaky Friday because Jamie's here and we're talking about kinky sex, and It's. It's Friday 13th. Does this make you nervous at all?

No.

Does anyone freak out about that stuff?

I think it's a good luck day.

Yeah, me too.

I have no issues with Friday. Although now. Oh. Oh. I didn't even talk about this.

I was late for work today.

No. My day started out horribly, horribly wrong.

What?

No. Yes. It was a horrible Friday the 13th, and I can't believe. So I was gonna open with this, but Jamie's here, and I'm so excited. Like, my synapses are firing all over.

Your clit was tingling.

My clit's tingling. I got a ticket this morning by a CHP California Highway Patrol officer in a really mean one. There was. I was getting on the highway, going to work, and there was a lot of traffic. There was, like, a backup backup for, like, 10 minutes. And finally there was a little opening on the shoulder. So I rode him on the shoulder to pass the other cars, which is illegal, I know, but the cop was there putting down cones for a reason. And he goes, you get over. Get over. And he yelled at me. And he was like, one of those mean CHP cops with, like. He was like. Had the glasses on and the khaki uniform, which is different than the local guys. And he was like, like, pull over. Pull over. I'm like, what's wrong, officer? He's like, you're driving on the shoulder. And I think that's more serious than speeding. You could have killed me. You almost killed me. I had cones I was putting out. Why do you think my wife would feel if you killed me? So I just started crying and crying. I was like, I'm so sorry. Please don't give me a ticket. I didn't mean it. I'm in a rush to a meeting. Like, I had no excuse.

Don't say you're in a rush. Never say that.

I said all the wrong things and I just sat in my car crying because I'm like, I just got okay. I got to be self admit. I got a full disclosure. Got a ticket a week ago.

What you didn't tell me this for.

Making a left hand turn on friggin Market Street.

How do you get tickets? I've, I've gotten out. I'm a dude and I've gotten out of so many tickets.

I have never get out. I never got out.

I never get out here. I got one for talking on my cell phone and admitted it. I was like, yeah, I know I'm on my speakerphone. And they wrote that on the ticket.

Oh my God. I could not get out. I could never get out.

This is what I do. Oh, go ahead.

No, I was going left. Okay, so mid it was. Market street is this long, annoying main thoroughfare in San Francisco. Jamie just moved here. Just so you know, you can never go left on Market. If you are on market, you have to go right. You stuck on market. You're stuck on Market for like blocks and blocks and blocks and there's lights and it's awful. So it was like one point. I was like, oh my God, I'm going left and I have to get on fifth street right now. So I made a left. Like I idiot. There's a cop right behind me. He's like, do you know you can't go left on Market? I'm like, I didn't know. Like I'm sure he looks at my license like I've lived here for 20 years. Like, yes, I knew that. But anyway, I got a ticket there and then I got a ticket today. So I'm balling in my car this morning and he still gave me the ticket. But I was upset because I'm like, oh my God, my points. The things, whatever was bad.

Sorry.

These were Friday the 13th, I think it's gonna be moving violations and shit. And I cried. I tried to get out of it.

No, that's not how you did it.

I would have popped a mask in and given him a blowjob. I didn't know. I really was upset.

So wait, how do you get out of it?

Yeah, Menace, what do you even in la, it's worked for me.

I've gotten. I've not gotten out of the two tickets I've gotten.

Okay, you've only gotten two in your life.

Well, I've only driven for two years.

I haven't gotten a ticket in. So Many years. Because it's the same routine no matter where I'm at, what time, anything. This is, this is what you do when you get pulled over. Because my buddy, his, his dad was chp. He was like the head of chp and he's like, when you get pulled over, immediately take, take your wrist and put them on top of the steering wheel, right? Because the, the officer feels safe. Because you could have a gun. Your hands can be anywhere. Don't be like fidget around everywhere and wait for him to walk up to the window so he feels much safer. Right? But then this is so they appreciate that. This is before I go into my next maneuver, which has been getting me out of stuff, that doing that alone has gotten me out of a speeding ticket. Going over 20 miles over the speed limit.

Okay?

They said, oh, I appreciate that. Go ahead, have a nice day. Right? So the second thing I do is I say, they go, they always go, what are you doing? I go, oh, I'm sorry, I'm on my way to work right now. Don't say I'm in a rush to go to work. Just say, oh, I'm going to work right now. And they go, oh, where's that at? I go, oh, I'm a radio dj. And they go, really? And go, what station? And then I say, the radio station I'm at. And if they're not excited with that one, I just start listing off every single one that I ever worked for.

So why do they think that's so cool? Radios. Not every CHP officer is gonna be.

It's worked for me every single time.

I should have said I had a so called sex with Emily and then I should have popped in my trunk and been like, take this home to your wife. Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't kill you.

Don't give him over over too much. Don't be too apologetic. Don't give him so much information. Just be like, yeah, I'm radio dj, I work for this station, blah blah.

I should have given him a copy of Hot Sex. It was in my trunk. I would have been here now.

You have 200 days.

Tell your wife that I'm sorry I almost killed you. And here, go have great sex for 200 days.

And I haven't gotten a ticket for years.

So I tell him I'm radio host.

Yeah, you just go, you get pulled over.

What if he's like a mormon or something and I tell him I have a sex talk show?

I would take it anyways.

I wouldn't say sex talk show, just say you're a radio dj, and then if he asks more, then you tell.

You think that that's like, being, like, a celeb or something? I guess it is.

It's worked for me every time.

Every time you get pulled over? Well, I have gotten two tickets in two weeks. And I wish you would have told me this two weeks ago because, well.

You didn't even tell me about the first ticket.

I know I blocked it. I'm not happy about it. Like, I can't believe I got another one. I was crying literally like a baby this morning on the way to work, crying, like, please don't give me a ticket. I just can't handle the ticket right now.

Well, I know not everybody out there is a radio dj, so just go ahead and try.

You can't all be a radio dj, so don't try this at home.

So try the wrist thing. Once you get pulled over, automatically put.

Your wrists up like you're about to get arrested.

Yeah, but put your hands. But, like, spread out your fingers and put your wrists on top of the steering wheel and just go like that.

Okay.

Because their number one fear is they're pulling over somebody that's about to shoot them.

Oh.

So when you do that, they see your hands and then they feel more comfortable.

Like me and my little mini with my dog. I'm gonna shoot them anyway. It doesn't matter.

Look, chicks are crazy. They'll shoot, they'll shoot. Doesn't matter.

Yeah, you're right. Well, I decided to share that with you. And there was one other thing I was gonna share, but I can't remember what it was. But it was really important. But I'll tell you about it Monday. Okay. Should we read this Freaky Friday email?

Let's read it.

Okay. Kinky sex. My husband and I have been married for a year, but been together almost four years. We have never really had much of a sex life. I've come from a few highly sexual relationships before him. He very rarely initiates sex. I also feel like he is embarrassed in a way. I feel like asking him to do anything kinky is totally out of the question because he will think it's stupid or won't be able to do it with a straight date face. When we do have sex, it's just not enthusiastic. It's always the same. I guess my question for you is, how do I get my husband on the same page as me sexually? How do I get him to understand how important sex is? How do we make it fun and not embarrassing? For him, but still a little wild and crazy for me. Signed, Sarah. That's a great email. Leading into our Freaky Friday or closing out our Freaky Friday. What do you think, Jamie? So. So. So she's embarrassed. She wants to try more things. She wants spice. And she's assuming that he's gonna freak out, that he's gonna not be open to it. But maybe he will be. You never know. But you need to start. You start with something. Something small. Doesn't have to be. Don't have to go into all the wild and kinky stuff first. But what would you suggest?

I mean, I think, first of all, what I heard was she's putting all of her own stuff on him.

On him, Exactly.

I feel like he'd be this way. I don't think he'd be into it. But have you asked. That's the first thing. Like, have you actually talked about what you. What you would like? And I think that's huge. I mean, this is what I'm talking about in this book, the passionate marriage. Like, David Schnorz talks about differentiation, how you have to believe and hold on to what you want, hold on to yourself in order to make a relationship work.

Right.

And so I think that if you own that these are the things you want and that they turn you on. And you're saying, too, he doesn't initiate. Well, maybe right now you need to initiate, Zach.

Nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with it. And if you want the sex you want, go for it. Get it. I think she's placing way too much of her opinion on or her.

She's worried about what he's thinking. She's totally assuming, and that he's gonna have all these reactions which might not actually happen. You could be totally wrong. They've been together four years. They've only married a year. I say this is a great time to do it and start talking about it. Bring it up. Talk about fantasies. Does he have any fantasies? Do you have any fantasies that you've been wanting to try? Is there anything new that you could. I mean, I think you're gonna have to initiate it. He's not. You're, like, complaining. He's not initiating. You've got to bring it.

And you can go to a website like Atom Eve or whatever, buy a sex store and shop together. Like, this really interests me, and this is why it interests me to try this. Can we order it and, you know, just, like, open up a dialogue? Don't. It's very different if you come at Somebody and say, I don't think you're gonna like this, but what I really want is this. You have to go on and be like, oh, my God, I had this amazing fantasy last night where you took me down, tied me to the bed and just did me and. And it really turned me on.

Right, right. And how would you do that? And, oh, look, I happen to have some bondage strips here or something.

Board sheets. Makes a great under the bed bondage restraint set that I'm like, literally, like, I'm so happy. I was just at a sex toy expo. You put them under the bed and they're just straps and they have hooks all the way on them so you can attach things to them and they're not scary or threatening. They are just big straps.

They're under your bed and you can choose to use them whenever you want. You don't gotta like, oh, wear all those straps as you, you know, they're already there on your bed.

I mean, I think she has to take the initiative and not stop assuming that he's going to be rejected.

Exactly. I think she's just afraid that she's gonna be rejected.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know, where is she from again?

John Water's always free. I always say where she's from, Noah's always free.

Okay. Have you ever been to Trader Joe's?

Yeah.

Oh, you know this great wine is called Charles Shaw. Yeah.

Two Buck Chuck.

Yeah, they should. She should totally bring that into the relationship.

He just discovered it, Menace. Really?

Yeah. Cabernet wine. Oh, just because it's two dollar wine, I'll put it in a different bottle and you'll think it's amazing.

So not. That's so not true. But anyway, he's really.

Well, that will spice up your relationship. It's a six dollar party. You get three bottles of that. You are wasting.

Menace's solution to everything is alcohol, which I don't.

It's a social lubricant. But I also think that especially with kinky sex, you have to be really careful because if you are not, if your brain is not functioning at its highest level, you don't feel the right amounts of pain, you don't know what you're doing. And I just think that when it comes to kinky. Well, I think honestly, when it comes to sex, I prefer not to be so drunk because I want to know what's going on.

Exactly.

And Menace, we're working that for 2012. So I was gonna pull some things out from our book here. Hot sex over 200 things. You can try tonight. You can buy it on Amazon. Written by Jamie Waxman and Emily Morse.

It's been selling really well. From what I understand.

I don't know anything I talked about.

Are all those royalty checks coming in or what?

In a few years.

Oh, we need to talk about. Is it gonna really be a few years?

It could be. I don't know what the deal. We have to talk about that all the time.

Oh, wow.

All time.

I love that we're gonna be friends in sf.

Yay. Jamie just moved here. We're really excited. So we've got our BDSM page. Not only does a collar look hot as a naughty. As a success. Not only does a collar look hot as a naughty accessory, but you can also grab a leash, hook it to the collar, and take your human playmate for a walk. Who's a good doggie? So we've got some stuff in here about.

We'll show you, and it should be fun. Like, you know when you're saying that I'm getting pictures.

Rough. Ruff.

Like, I would just do that and start laughing. Cause very. Actually, roleplay is very hard for me.

Oh, okay. It really is. Me too, a little bit. But I like it. But it's hard. I like it.

But, like, when some. Like, once someone initiates it and really gets into it, I can go there. But if they're like, okay, what do you want to do? I'm like, well, you be the master and just. You tell me what to do.

Right, Right, right, right. No, it is very hard to do. We always talk about that. That it is.

What kind of dog would that. That person be?

I like to be like a chihuahua or a rottweiler.

Well, that's Xena. They look the same.

An Australian herd.

What are those?

Shepherd dogs?

Oh, yeah.

They heard you.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. And no. Okay. This is something that I like. Make him wait. One of the joys of bondage is the opportunity to focus on titillating your partner. Menace does not understand teasing. So how do we explain to him that it could actually.

I'm just like, bitch, suck my dick already. I do not need to be teased.

You're like that. And it's like waiting longer and longer. It feels like, oh, my God. Now, bitch. Suck my now.

Now. Yeah, because you want to go. I mean, that would be cool for 15 seconds. Seconds. And then I'm like, just get it on this stupid teaser thing. But if you want to get. If you want to get teased, that's fine. I'll tease you all goddamn day long. It's just not.

Well, you really like. I love the teasing. Yeah, I don't think that guys tease enough.

Yeah, I'm not sure you'll tease all day long.

No, Menace will tease for like all three minutes long.

All day long. I'll tease you as long as the.

Day is three minutes.

I'll. I'll wave a hundred dollar bill in front of you and tease you all day and say, oh, all women are money.

Exactly. But make him weigh the teasing. I think that a lot of guys. Have you ever teased. Have you teased guys before?

Oh, my God, I love teasing.

Right. So how do you tease? Give me an example of one of your teasing mechanisms. How you tease a man.

Even just like, talking partner. Like, talking. Like last night I saw the guy I've been dating and we kissed in the parking lot and we went home separately.

Okay.

And then I got home and I was like, oh, my God, you should have totally slipped your hand down my pants while we were in the parking lot. I can't stop thinking about it. And it started this conversation, like, this is what I would do. And it was a text. We started teasing each other on text.

Right.

And that's really hot to me.

Really hot. And then did he come over eventually or. No, you just ended up.

I can't get him to do that part yet.

No, you just.

He's a workaholic, so. So no, he didn't. But I masturbated, so I got off.

You got off on the text? See, Menace, you love texting. You could be do a texting tease.

Yeah, I can do that all day.

Yeah, exactly.

That's a good way to tease. So then when you get to your partner at night, night, you've done all of that for hours. And then you can get.

No, they're gonna still want more. They're still. Come on.

True or not True or not true. What that meant.

Even though we. We text you all day long, getting you all horned up, as they say, you're still gonna want to, like, do.

More before you go to Pound Town.

Yeah, like make out and stuff.

Yeah, dude, we're gonna make out. You want. You go down on us. And we are gonna want a lot more before Pound Town. We're gonna need. We're gonna need you to stop in. I'm trying to think of something funny that the town before Pound Town.

Humpville. I don't know.

Heavy petting dog.

We'll have to have a conversation at some point about really good cunnilingus, too Because I have to say that like a guy who knows how to use his. I finally have met a tongue that's like a robot tongue. It's like the best thing in the world.

Talk to me about it.

Oh, my God.

I.

This is so terrifying.

Did he just know or did you have to?

There was a little of both, but mostly he just knows.

Okay, so tell me about this master.

I don't understand. I had two orgasms from oral sex in one hour. And that's never happened to me.

He went down on you for an hour? Let's just.

Well, he went down on me, I came and then we did other things. And then he went down on me again and I came and then we did other things.

Oh, my God. So what did he do? Cause I can't tell you. I have a lot of male talk to me.

It's a lot. I think you have to honestly, like, exercise your tongue. Like, I think sucking on like taking like a fruit or something, like a mango and cutting it in half, like, and just sucking and trying to like to get all of the. The fruit away from the pit or something like that could be a good way. Strengthening the tongue so you can last for a long time. Because I'm not a two second, you know.

No. How long does it take you typically to have an orgasm during oral sex?

During oral sex, depending on how good it is. I mean, it's been from five minutes to like an hour.

Damn. An hour.

See that response?

That is menace. Menace is like. That's his biggest nightmare.

Choking kids.

No. So he does. So what? So is it like. Does he flick? Does he flicks?

He also goes really slow for parts of it. And also it's not focused on the clit, it's around the clit, right?

Which is a big tip for lots of men to go around the clit.

Plus, you have to remember there's a difference. Like I call it. I'm very proud of this phrase I made up, camera lingus. So when you're watching a video and you see cunnilingus, it's called cameralingus because you're seeing time. You gotta be in there too. And I think a lot of guys think, like, being away and just like, the little flicks can work, but no, get in that pussy, right?

We were like saying it's like eating a peach. Like, you get the juice off your face, you gotta do it.

And practice eating a peach.

Practice eating a peach. That'll be like eating a pussy. We're just saying all the words. We try to be classy.

Ladies here on Friday, everybody.

That's one of my favorite words.

Pussy.

What would your classy word be?

My classy word?

Vagina.

Vagina. No, I didn't. No, I don't say no. I just say.

What's a classy word?

A classy word for. For. No. I say. I say vagina and she hates it.

No, I don't hate vagina. I just don't.

Oh, I hate when I say I call people vaginas. Like if a guy's being a. I.

Say because he's a vagina.

He's a vagina.

That just doesn't even.

It's the same thing calling him a. It's funnier when you say vagina.

It's not that funny. I didn't laugh at all. Okay, well, you don't need. We're gonna wrap up, which is sad. But now, well, it's happy. Cause it's freaky free Friday. But Jamie lives in San Francisco. Nasha, you're come back a lot.

I would love to.

And if you want to check out our book, Jamie Waxman, Emily Morse. Hot Sex and Jamie Pitch on. Tell us how to find you because you're amazing. And where can people find you?

Well, you can find me. Gasm.org is going to be the new site. JamieWaxman.com and on Twitter, I'm J A M Y E. Okay.

J N Y E. And also you can find me on Facebook and Twitter. Sex with Emily. Same with Menace. He's White Menace on Facebook and Twitter and everywhere else. Oh, and I'm Instagram too. Emily just started my Instagram account.

I know.

I think I have one follower which is White Menace.

Yes.

Right. So that's exciting. Okay. Love you, Jamie. Love you, Menace. Happy weekend. Thanks, everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback emily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for humans health magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger, and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help help you sleep. But Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive, intensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualia life.com sex with Emily for 50 off and here's a bonus use the coffee code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q-U-A-L-I D A life.com sexwithemily thanks for qualia for sponsoring this episode.