SWE: Have Sex

Okay, so let's talk about one of.

My favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play.

It is the Hera by Jeju.

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Here's what I love.

The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've.

Heard me rave about before.

I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super soft, ultra quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20% off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r a so if you've been looking for.

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So go treat yourself. You deserve it.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

The girl's got a. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all your sex information that you need to improve your sex life and have better sex and have a lot of fun there too. Happy Friday, everyone.

How you doing?

I'm doing great.

Yeah, right.

Crazy week. What do you mean right?

We're fighting right before the show. I was telling you to tweet more.

I tweet.

I was telling you how to tweet. You didn't want to hear me.

I didn't have time to tweet before the show.

You're like, ah, whatever. We'll do it later. We'll do it later. And you always tell me to do it later and then you won't do it later.

Oh, Menace, I'm so busy right now, it's crazy. Okay.

Oh, my God.

Today's show. Thanks, everyone. If you. We're happy to be here on extreme talk xm165. It's. We're an honor honored to be here and we love our free Friday show.

Tweet us if you're listening.

ExwiteMilyxWithAMily. Tweet us. Tweet us. We've got some big news, but first of all, let me tell you what today's show, we're gonna talk about why he or she isn't having sex with you right now and what you can do to get them to have sex with you as well as sex in the news. And we got tons of questions and a few funny articles that are gonna be interesting about sexting and why we sexed. And we're just chock full today. But we've got some exciting news, if you haven't heard yet. There is a new reality show called Misadvised and It's premiering on June 18th at 10:00 at night. 10:00 clock Pacific and Eastern. And I'm on it. It's about three single dating experts. Do we practice what we preach? And it's for eight episodes. Menace is on it too. It's hilarious. And you should all check it out. And the promos are playing this week on Bravo. So that's a big deal.

Yeah, they already been playing. I saw some. I had a. I had to record the television with my iPhone just so I could capture it and show it.

To you because I couldn't. I was watching Bravo. Cause it's exciting.

You don't even know how to turn on the tv.

Okay, that's true. My tv, every time I try to turn it on, it's like I know what happens. Can you explain it?

Well, what happens is you try to hit all on, right? But then your cable box shuts off and your TV turns on and then you try to hit it again and then your TV shuts off and then your cable box turns on.

So what do I do?

You, you turn. You click TV and then power and then cable and then power.

I'm writing this down.

And then you're good.

Power.

And just wait a second up wrong. No, it just happens to everybody. It takes a while. You just don't have somebody like me at your house.

And power. I seriously text them. Okay, I can't believe we're talking about this on sex Shot. Like why do people. Because people go through this. I think that other people are having this issue turning on their television too. So now you know what's happening.

It happens to me.

Why doesn't all on work though? Why doesn't the all on button work on my. On my. On my remote control?

I know, because. Well, this is what happens. You hit off on your tv, but you don't hit off on your cable box. And then. So when you go to hit all on again, you're actually shutting off for two cable boxes, turning back your tv.

I just want my TV to turn friggin on.

I know you want to watch your porn. I understand.

I want to watch my.

You just gotta listen for five seconds and I'll tell you how to fix.

I just wrote it down, but I hope that I remember. Jesus H. Christ. So anyway, but you're gonna be on.

Misadvised on Bravo Television June 18th, Monday night. Yeah. And if you guys want to participate in tweeting about it. Misadvised. One word.

Yes.

So join in the conversation. Say you're excited. We want to see your tweets.

Yes. Excited. Just tweet us. Exfemily or white Menace and Misadvised.

Misadvised. One more.

Because it's going to be a great show. You guys are going to laugh your asses off and learn a lot. It's going to be funny.

It's going to be cray. As they say on the street.

Cray.

Cray.

Crazy.

Yeah, short for crazy.

Thanks, Maze. Anything else you'd like to teach me today?

No, I'm trying, but you're just so flush. Flustered.

I cannot. I just have a lot going on. So tell me about you. What are you doing this weekend?

This weekend?

Memorial Day.

I know, I forgot.

Like where the hell did Memorial Day to sneak up on us.

I know it's crazy. This weekend I am. What am I doing? Okay, I have to go to the DMV because I lost my ID somehow on the way back from Vegas.

Imagine that.

And then Saturday I have an appearance at a pick and pull. Do you know what a pick and pull is?

No.

Pick and pool is where there's a bunch of junk. Junkyard cars and people come to the junkyard to get parts for the cars. So it's called pick and pull.

Okay.

I have to be there for two hours.

Fun.

And then Sunday I am gonna go to a party. Oh, I'm gonna go to a barbecue party.

Nice.

In San Jose, California.

Oh, fun. You love San Jose.

Why did I say Friday when today's Friday? I totally forgot.

Yeah, that sounds fun. I am. I know it's a long weekend, but I've got work due and friends. I got a friend's birthday. I got an ex boyfriend's birthday party on Saturday night and so that'll be fun. And I am going to just hang out in the city. Chill, man. I love long weekends because everyone leaves and I can just get parking spots.

Just drink some Merlot, you feel me?

Drink some Merlot. Some Chardonnay. I already did that all in Sonoma last weekend with my mom. She got very drunk.

No, you want. What's the pink one? You want to drink the pink Cosmopolitan?

No, Rose.

No, not rose. What's the Ziffindale? You want a nice Ziffindale?

No. Zipf and Dale? No Zip and Dale for me.

Oh, excuse me.

I like Pinot Grigio.

Pinot Grigio? The $2,2 buck check from Trader Joe's.

No, but I still have some of that in my house for you. Left over from my last party that I had that you totally come to my next one. We're going to have another one and it's going to be really.

I can't wait to do a taste test on you. It's going to be hilarious.

I know. He thinks that I won't be able to tell the two buckshot. Let's do that. Let's film it.

I would love to.

Let's do a video of me drinking expensive wine and cheap wine and me being able to tell the difference that it's $2 wine and $20, $40 wine.

Oh, I can't. I can't wait.

Don, come on.

Can't wait.

We're going to have an intern party and all that stuff. So it'll be fun.

Oh, are you going to do it on a Friday so I can actually go?

So you can come?

Because listen, people, she always plans parties on days that I can't go.

Well, you can't go any day but Friday or Saturday, and that's annoying.

That's when people usually go out.

No, I'm having fun.

They don't go hard and go party on the weekday because they have to do work actually the next day, you know, okay, whatever.

I'll do it. So I saw. Really, believe it or not, because I don't see as many movies as you do. I saw a really good movie the other night.

I know. Somebody posted on my Instagram, said they saw you. Who Said you look more beautiful in person than on the Internet.

That's so nice.

Which I don't know how.

That's not possible. You're like. Without airbrushing.

No.

Yes. The movie Hysteria. I, I think it's not in theaters yet. It was a Jimmy Jane sponsored premiere in the city and it's so. I thought it was great with Maggie Gyllenhaal. Is that how you say it?

No, Gyllenhaal.

Fuck, you told me that already. Gyllenhaal, whatever her name is. And it takes place in like the 1880s when women, they always diagnosed women with hysteria, which is in 1952. They took it off the DSM3R. You couldn't diagnose a woman with hysteria. But when you did, every woman was big. Every middle aged woman was diagnosed with hysteria whenever she was like, you know, moody or something was wrong. Like she's hysteria. So they'd go visit these doctors, this one doctor who would manually basically masturbate them to the point of orgasm. And to treat them, which was like a total farce. Cause at the end of the day it's like these women were just sexually frustrated cause their husbands weren't pleasing them, they didn't know what they were doing. And then the guy's hand gets hurt, he invents the first vibrator. And it's about the invention of the first vibrator to treat women with hysteria. That's why it was treated. So all these like middle aged women having orgasms in their doctor's office office lined up around the corner. It's really funny and interesting. And Maggie's like this. Maggie plays like this like leftist, you know, socialist who's like all anti everything and thinks that the reason hysteria isn't real diagnosis and that women just women's husbands don't know how to sleep with them. And it's true, they didn't know about like pleasing a woman until like the 1900s. Until like Kinsey men had it better then. They didn't. They didn't have to like learn how to go down on a woman.

Yeah, they had a way better back then.

I'm just gonna stick this in. And then the woman was.

And then there was a hot meal on the table and clean clothes. And not every chick out there was trying to be like Paris Hilton, right?

You think every chick is trying to be Paris Hilton right now?

No, I think every chick though that's halfway decent looking, wants to be a model. If you just look at the Internet right now, it's just an Epidemic.

Really?

Everyone? Well, the whole Internet now is just look at me, look at me, what I'm doing, you know? And any halfway decent looking chick just thinks, oh, let me do some modeling photos. Like, can I tell you how many self portraits I see of half?

I know you hate that. Oh, my God, start a campaign. Like, stop taking picnic.

No, what I do, I'm really rude and I don't care if they stop following me or whatever, I go, oh, thanks for posting that picture because I totally forgot what you look like.

That's funny. That's me. It is true. There's. I actually have an article here that I'm going to get into later about sexting and why men and women send nude photos. There's different reasons for it. Women want to sum it up, but I will get into it more. Women want attention.

Of course.

That's how they do it. They want the man's attention. They're like, I want you to want me. I want to feel desired. I want compliments. Men do it because they just want to show off. And it's for their ego. They're like, look at my penis. Check out my joke. They said one out of every chat roulette, one out of four shots is a penis.

Oh, yeah.

It's ridiculous because men just want to show off. They're like, here's my penis. But women don't necessarily want to see that.

So they ruined chat roulette.

I know. Well, it was never. It never really took off, did it?

Oh, no, it took off for a while, but then it just. Every other shot was a penis. Like, why?

Because men have an urge to show their junk. And women, honestly, we don't want to see your penises.

No penis.

We want to see in person. We want to see it in person, but we don't really want to see it in chat roulette or in an email. I know it's not attractive. So.

So do you know what's attractive is people. You need to go. You didn't post it on your Instagram though, this photo?

Oh, I did post it. No, not an Instagram.

On your Facebook.

On your Facebook, go to sex with Emily Facebook.

So we brought up the television show earlier. Right?

Right.

And for some. For some reason, some of the photos from the TV show got leaked out on the Internet and I found them.

Right.

There's this one of you just doing a ridiculous yoga pose with some guy and your legs are just spread e. You're upside down. Like people go to facebook.com sexemily right now. You Posted on that page.

Right.

Check out this photo and tell me you're not gonna be excited for Ms. Advised.

Well, I went on a date. Pound sign, Ms. Advice. Exactly. Hashtag Ms.Advised. i went on a date. Should I tell the story?

Yeah, go for it. I mean, don't give it all away.

I'm not gonna give it all away, but I did go on a date. So the show is about my dating life and my work life and do I practice what I preach? The verdict is still out, but I went on a date with a guy, got fixed up. It was a beautiful day in San Francisco Bay area. We went to Tiburon, which is right over the bridge, and he, like, packed a pic and he was, don't roll your eyes. It was sweet because I didn't bring anything, but, like, I brought, like, my big purse and my sunglasses and my five inch heels. Like. But he had a snake. Yeah. And I brought an appetite. And then he was like, oh, are you into yoga? I'm like, yeah, I love yoga. He's like, oh, I do this special kind of partner yoga. He's like, do you mind if I show you a move? And then he, like, started throwing me up in the air, and my legs are askew. On the Internet right now, you look.

Like you could be in circus ladies. Oh, that's how crazy it is.

It is crazy, huh?

Yeah. Facebook.com sex with Emily. Also go to the misadvised. Facebook, Facebook.com missadvised like the page.

Right.

It takes you two seconds.

How hard is that?

People, you're gonna love. You're gonna love the show. I'm telling you right now, it's gonna.

Be your new favorite show.

I was there. I saw the madness.

Yeah, it was mad. It was fun, though, being on a reality show, believe it or not. So that's what we got for you. We're gonna get into some sex news.

All right.

Okay. What are you laughing at me?

No.

Oh, my God. This is so funn. Okay, well, whatever. It's just. I don't want people to. I don't be like, oh, watch me. Because everyone's like, oh, my show. But I'm telling you, it's. It's an amazing show.

Watch it. There's some clips already on. On. Yeah, watch the clips.

Watch the clips and see what you think. You're gonna like it. Three hot chicks trying to date. Okay. Sex in the news. Another woman was accused of attacking a cop with a dildo. Last week, you reported that there was another woman that did the Same thing. I don't know. They must not have knives around or something or. But they're attacking with dildos. So this woman, Caralee, was found by a police officer lying in the grass from a Joe's Crab Shack in Illinois.

Yes. Classy.

She told the officer that she'd eaten at the restaurant but had forgotten her wallet at home. The policeman drove her home. Carolee went inside to get her wallet in her sock drawer. Instead of pulling out her wallet, she pulled out a dildo and threatened the cop with it. She claims the cop startled her. She's been charged with aggravated assault. That makes aggravated assault. So this is the second woman in two weeks that are attacking with vibrators. I don't understand. That's like the first thing you pull. It looks deadly. I don't know.

I don't know what the hell is up with that. But you know, she's out of her mind. If she's at a Joe's Crab Shack, they have these things called the fishbowl.

She was lying in the grass. The story is very. She's lying in the grass. She sounds. She sounds like she's drunk. Find her wallet, and then went home and thought, be a good idea to attack an officer at the dildo.

Yeah, she. She probably drank the fishbowl. Fishbowl is. It comes in like a fishbowl that you would have on your desk.

Oh, you know Joe's Crab Shack?

Yeah, we have one here in San Francisco.

We do. You're such chain whore.

I know. Right on. Right by Pier 39.

I don't go to chain stores. Chain restaurants.

Excuse me.

Obviously I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't go to chain stores.

I go to chain stores. Not chains restaurants.

Chain restaurants.

Chain restaurants. Like are. I would, but I don't often.

Excuse me. I'm sorry. You should lower yourself sometimes.

I'm glad that you know about the fishbowl, though. Okay. First ever sex toy drive thru is in Huntsville, Alabama.

Yes, I support this. This is a good idea, sex toy.

Drive thru because it can be embarrassing for people. Not everybody has like a good vibration store like we have in San Francisco.

Just get me in and out.

Exactly. The owner decided to open a new location for her pleasure chain in an old bank building and embrace the opportunity to use the teller windows for a drive thru. The response has been outstanding. Customers have enjoyed the convenience of the sex toy drive thru. Okay. Why not? I think that's a great idea because a lot of people want sex toys, desire them, but they don't want to go to the store. Another thing you can do is go to AdamAndEve.com, which is awesome. And you use coupon code Emily. You get 50% off most items for a limited time. And you can pick out three porns, three adult DVDs that you want in free shipping. So they've got like every porn. So you get, you get anything, any vibrator you want or a toy and then you get three DVDs. It's a good friggin deal.

It is a good deal.

Just use Emily and you can support our sponsors. If you've never had a sex toy before, it's time. Because more than half of all women in the world have owned a sex toy. And especially after watching this movie, you realize that like the vibrator, it's not ever going to replace a man, but it really packs a punch and a lot of women have a hard time achieving orgasm. Only 30% can have orgasms during intercourse. Use a friggin vibrator.

Do it.

You can search and get a clitoral one that's really strong.

I'm just saying try it without.

Sometimes I do try it without, but I love my vibrator. Here's another story about a sex toy. Sex toy bike messenger delivery service.

Oh great.

Oh my God. They're going to sell sex toys at McDonald's soon.

When are you going to start your delivery service?

It's not a bad idea. So Babeland, one of New York's most famous sex toy shops, has proudly rolled out a bike messenger delivery service for phone orders. Customers call in their lusty orders, have a bike messenger, deliver their packages discreetly to their homes. Babeland's, another great store in New York and I think it's also in la, so that's interesting too. Bike messenger service or drive thru, I think.

What other ways you can do it? There's this new. I don't think it's even real, but they're trying to do a taco delivery service with a helicopter. So what about if they just put like, you know, like remote control helicopters?

Really?

Google it. Yeah, people, it's ridiculous. But what about if they just, you know, take out the tacos, put in some sex toys and the little helicopter comes to your house, drops it off.

That's so cool. You don't make eye contact with anybody.

I know.

Remote control helicopters.

Yeah.

That's the funniest thing I've ever. And they're delivering tacos. Isn't that kind of messy?

I don't know.

I don't get it. Do it now. I want. I'm hungry. Get one of those helicopters in here.

Dude, if they were doing Taco Bell tacos, I would love it. You know me.

Yeah, I was just thinking about you. You're obsessed with tacos.

Taco Bell, not a business. Anyone else.

I know you're obsessed with Taco Bell. He's. He Mendes incessantly writes letters to the head of Taco Bell telling them to bring back some taco from like 10 years ago.

It's a taco that got discontinued in 1997. It's called the double decker four alarm taco and I want it back. And I mean, while they're at it, they can bring back the Rancho Steak Burrito. Just saying, just saying. I want it back in my life. And the CEO, he never writes me back, but he seems like a nice guy.

Start a Twitter campaign with Taco Bell.

I tried, I tried doing that with Crystal Pepsi. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi? No, it was Clear Pepsi. It was, it came out in the mid-90s for a little while and it just went away.

And you want it back.

Crystal Pepsi was huge for a while.

I don't remember. I remember Coke. I don't remember. But Menace, I hope you get back what you need.

I just want a four alarm double decker Taco.

Can't you just make it? Isn't it all the same ingredients? I could.

But it's not the same.

It is the same. I bet you could buy all the ingredients or you could.

I don't want to. I don't want to.

I bet you could get two, two items of Taco Bell, combine them and make the four double alarm. The reason four decker triple bell.

The reason I go to Taco Bell, because somebody else makes it for me. I don't want to make it myself. And let me tell you something, I'm going to put a challenge to you. If you can get them to bring back the four alarm double decker Taco, I'll let you win the handjob debate. How about that?

I'll bring it back just to win it.

Find a way.

I will. I will.

I will find a way.

Oh my God. Done and done. Metis and I have a long standing debate that many people who are new to the show. We've been doing the show for seven years.

Yeah.

And if you haven't listened to the show before, we did have an ongoing debate. It was raging for about two years. Like a bad case of herpes. It was, I think that hand jobs. I personally have greater movements Madness is trying to bring back a taco. I'm trying to bring back the hand job because I feel that women stopped giving hand jobs and that hand jobs can be really delightful for a man. You can use two hands, you can use lots of lube. And that a hand job is a great think, a great addition to the other things that women might be doing to your penis and men has somehow twisted the whole debate to be say that. To say that. I was saying give hand jobs instead of blowjobs.

No, that's not it. You don't listen to me. What I was trying to say is a man can give himself a better hand job than any woman can give him. Give a hand job. That's all I was trying to say. A man is not going to turn down a hand job. Of course they're going to take a hand job. But I'm just saying a man can give it better to himself than a woman could give it to her.

I think it's different. I think a woman can give one that's equal but different.

And I know a million guys are just getting email like, oh, man, I love a hand job. That's not what I'm saying.

Feedbackexwithemily.com Email me. Have you ever gotten a better hand job from a woman than you gave yourself?

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

That's it. That's the whole thing. That's the hand dog debate.

That's not gonna happen. A guy knows.

Came back. I'm starting to itch.

A guy knows his body.

It's not that we don't. He knows his penis.

He's touched it many, many, many times.

I'm trying to help guys out here. And if women are listening. Women. You give your partner a hand job, like seventh grade. Like, do it again. Like we did them in seventh grade.

Rather just have Felicio.

You could have both.

Look. But sometimes you can do it at the same time. Fellatio and the hand job. That's. That's good.

And there's also a lot of women who don't like performing fellatio. Well, those women, they don't.

They should find a hand job and put them there.

You know what else they can do? They could try.

Mask strips. I know this sounds really funny. M A S, Q U E. They're like a Listerine strip that masks the taste of semen. So if you are a woman who doesn't like performing oral sex because you don't like the taste of semen, they're like literally Listerine strips. That taste like chocolate, strawberry, mango, watermelon. And it stays on your tongue for 15 minutes. Hopefully he'll come by then. And when his semen is ejected, you will not taste it. It will taste like chocolate or strawberry. So it's called Mask. You can go to their website, which is per. What is it? Sexual flavors dot com. Sexual flavors. It masks the sexual flavors.

Aren't they local from here, around here?

I don't think they're local. No, they're not, but they're cool. We just got like a whole bunch of them. If you want to give it to girls here. What?

No, I'm trying to think of the approach that when I would give it to a girl, just randomly be like, hey, hey, you know when you're going down on a penis and you just don't, like, taste? Here you go.

That's what I should just say, like that.

Yeah, something like that.

No. What about if I just want to give it to other girls that, you know, don't give me fellatio.

That's fine, too. It's a great gift. It's a great gift.

How should I approach it, though?

I think that you should say, these are. These are fun, cool things. Like, the packaging is really cool. It looks like Listerine strips. And be like, you know when you're guzzling jizzum, right? Yeah.

Here, check this out. It's going to be minty flavored now.

Yeah, mint jizz. That's exactly what you should do, Madison. It's a great gift for all your female friends. I'll bring you in a bunch of packs.

I know what to get them for Christmas now.

Exactly. Well, do you know? I mean, that goes back to another debate that we had. And I don't think it was a debate between me and you, but it was a debate on the show. And I would love to hear from you about this. After you got married, if you're married or after you've been in a relationship for a while, did your partner stop performing oral sex on you? Did it go away? Yeah, it was specifically geared towards women. Did women stop. Did your partner stop performing oral sex on you when you got. When you became committed or you were together for longer than a year? Because there is that notion out there, that myth or whatever trend, that women stop performing oral sex and Is it true? Feedbackexnelly.com or you can always tweet, too. Tweet us sex only.

Some people don't like to tweet that kind of information.

Right. That's why I'm giving opportunity if you're.

Open to it, do it.

But I think that's a travesty. Like, I think that women and men should continue to perform oral sex throughout your relationship. It's very important.

Yes.

Speaking of oral sex, this is not really related, but I just wanted to transition here. Jury clears doctors in lost penis case. So they lost a penis. Okay. A jury on Tuesday found that an anesthesiologist who cleared a man for penile implant surgery was not responsible for flesh eating bacteria that consumed the man's penis. So this dude Enrique underwent surgery to correct his erectile dysfunction, which is a very common thing for men to have erectile dysfunction. Nine days after the surgery, his penis was filled with a flesh eating bacteria that forced him to have his entire penis amputated.

That sucks. So you go there to get your penis enlarged and then you have no.

Penis to get it fixed for erectile dysfunction. Yeah. And then you got no penis.

Well, you know, he was trying to, you know, get a little bit bigger maybe.

As long as you're in there, could you pump it up, doctor? But. But this doctor's, I guess, not responsible. But can you imagine? He'd have his penis amputated.

Dude, that would be a nightmare.

That is one appendage you don't want to lose.

Yeah, you don't. What do you do after that?

I don't know. You mean you probably get a.

You go down a lot.

You probably get a.

Surrogate penis. What's it called? Like a. You know when you get like a fake arm? Like an.

A limb?

Prostate.

Prostate. Not prostate.

Prosthetics. A prosthetic.

Sorry. Wow. We are out of it right now. It's Friday, people. I'm sorry.

It's fine. Okay, so this has happened to me, but I didn't get. A Russian bomb squad called in. Russian bomb squad called in to defuse a vibrator. The incident occurred in the northwest part of Russia as police officers responded to a. A call from a postal worker who had identified a suspicious parcel which was emitting a ticking like sound. The building was swarmed by security forces and people were evacuated from the area. After opening the package, the bomb squad found a vibrator that had been turned on by accident. That's why you should ship your vibrators without batteries in them or travel without batteries in them. I've done that so many times. Where my vibrator turns on at the airport.

And why are you bringing a vibrator on the air in the airport?

I always do. I travel with them sometimes the last Minute I throw it in my bag.

No, I would just get a new one in the city. Why would you travel with them?

Because I've got hundreds of vibrators at my house.

Can't you just, like, ship it ahead of time so when it's there?

No, I don't have time. I'm not. I'm not thinking that far ahead. Okay. What? I'm sorry. It's true.

How many times have you been caught with it, do you think I've been.

Caught with vibrators at the airport about three or four times.

Jesus Christ. Your phone.

It's you tweeting.

It's me tweeting.

Okay, so I. Am. I. What'd you just ask me? My vibrator. I went to a sex toy show in Vegas and I was carrying back six or seven vibrators in my bag. And I did get stopped. However, I got stopped at security. And the thing he wanted to look at were my postcard. I had, like, a thousand Sex Valley postcards.

Yeah.

He wanted to look at my postcards. And he didn't even care about the vibrators, so that doesn't really count. But I thought. But he pulled out, like, he left the vibrators and pull out the post. The box of postcards.

Really?

I was like, you don't mind him. I go, oh, no, we see that all the time. Because that was Vegas. And then I did get pulled over for a vibrator once in Michigan.

Really?

Yeah. And he was like, okay, I see. Yeah, it's fine. And then it's happening a bunch. I don't care.

Wow.

Wow. But I like.

But now they make all these vibrators that look like candy from the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Yeah. That look like makeup.

And it looks like makeup. So you can go to Candy. What is it like? Candy. Whatever her website is, but she sells these vibrators that. Yeah, look.

Bedroom candy. Bedroom Candy is the name of the line. I don't know if it's bedroomcandy.com. i'm sure it would be.

It's a great gift, too. Okay, we can get into some emails from the peoples.

I love hearing from the people. What's going on?

Thanks, everyone, for emailing us@feedbackexwithemily.com we love hearing from you. Hey, Emily. Love the show. I've been listening for over a year on my iPhone. I have a safe word suggestion in response to a convo you and Menace had the other day.

Oh, yeah.

It is called the stop light. Red equals stop. Yellow equals. I don't Want to stop? Just. Let's turn it down a notch or switch positions. Green equals more. I love having a middle option because often I still want to continue but need to communicate that whatever we are currently doing needs stop. I also have a question. Oh, first of all, so that's like when you're. When you're doing bondage or something with your partner, we always recommend that you have a safe word. And I could not come up with a good safe word. I don't remember what I tweeted. I tweeted some stupid, like, cheesesteak or something. I couldn't come up with a good one. But that is very, very common that people use red, yellow, green. That is a great. Like, red means. It's like, we all know what that means. And so if you are practicing with your partner, you're tight. It's a great thing to do this weekend. Tie your partner up for the first time, but make sure you have a safe word.

We were trying to find funny safe words for you. How about this? You make me a promise. Next time you need a safe word, you're gonna use two Buck Chuck. How about that? Two Buck Chuck.

Two Buck Chuck.

Two Buck Chuck.

No, it's not gonna work.

Why not?

I gotta come up with a better one. But I like red, yellow, green. That's good. Okay, but she has a question. This is from Mandy.

Okay, Mandy, I'm moving in with my.

Boyfriend of about 1.5 years, one and a half years soon. We're both 28, and I've never lived with someone before. I was wondering if you remember, have any tips to make it work. I want to stay sexy without becoming too familiar. I'm excited, but a little bit nervous. Thanks, guys. And I can't wait for Ms. Advised Mandy on the East Coast. She's from Massachusetts. And thanks, Mandy, for writing. So living with someone. I think it's so great that you brought this up, because that is, like, a number one killer of relationships is when people become so familiar with each other, when they move in together, and it can kill the relationship. So you're asking.

Listen to her.

It's true.

I'm curious. You never live with a guy. How are you gonna stop?

Yeah, because I don't want to stop having sex. But here's the thing, really, here's what I'm gonna tell you, Mandy, is that there are. I think that you asked a great question. How do you still keep it sexy? And I think that some of the things that you do is don't go to the bathroom in Front of each other. Don't always walk around naked in the house. Still care about your appearance and.

As should he.

So every time he comes home from work, if you get home first, you change into your baggy T shirt and sweatshirt. Sometimes that's fine, but still dress up for each other. Again, shut the door when you're going to the bathroom and just keep mystery alive. However you can do that. However you can surprise each other. When he walks in the house sometime, give him a blowjob. Perform oral sex on him. Right, Menace. Menace loves that.

There was a couple good suggestions in.

There that I gave.

That you gave.

Yes, I think so too. And here's the thing. There's a book that was written by an author that it is. It's called Mating in Captivity. It's a great book. And what it's by Esther Perrell. And what it says is it's. It basically addresses this issue, is that.

We are told in today's society that we should all become one. We move in with your partner, get married, get committed, and we become one. We share everything. We have no secrets. I go to the bathroom in front of him. I put my face mask on. I shave my. My vagina hair in front of him. Whatever. My bikini era. That. This notion that that's healthy. But the problem is what we find hot and attractive in someone. Like when the first few months you're dating someone, you can't wait to rip each other's clothes off, is that mystery is that excitement. When you move in with someone and you become one, which is a false notion, you lose all that. So try to think of whatever you can to keep that mystery alive. That whatever was there at the beginning, like, whatever you can do to still keep things separate, they don't need to see everything. You don't need to share everything. That is a fallacy. And just try to keep it exciting. Menace, do you have any.

My input is that living with somebody is. I find it a really fun experience. Again, do not, like Emily said, do not go to the bathroom in front of them. Try to keep some of those things private. I'm gonna let you know when you move in with the guy, the farting increases. There's gonna be.

So if you're a dude, don't fart in front of her. I've dated guys who don't fart.

They brought that up in the.

In what was the Bridesmaids. I believe it was the movie Bridesmaids. But, you know, guys just. They just let it rip when you started living with them. So Just. Just gonna throw that out there.

It's a choice, though.

Yeah.

Men don't have to let it rip. And women don't either.

My stuff with me, it didn't work out with me because.

I have such a crazy work schedule. By the time I get home, I'm extremely exhausted. I don't want to go do anything. The only time I go out is a Friday, Saturday night. And I can't go out during the week. I go to bed super early. If you want me to give you some attention, you're gonna have to wait till Friday or Saturday. So that's the only reason that my stuff didn't work out.

Okay. One about what the expectations are. And don't.

They thought they were gonna get a bunch of attention since we're living together. Nah. It's not gonna change. You know?

Right. So, I mean, your issue worker.

Yeah. And issues that you had outside of living with each other is not gonna change when you start living with each other either.

You know, you're just gonna need more communication and still do all the things that you've been doing far this far, thus far along in your relationship to keep it hot. Don't get lazy. Don't get lazy. People get lazy, and they take their partner for granted. That's what you should not do. Yeah. So good luck to you, Mandy, and thanks for writing. Okay. Dear Emily, have you ever used solid coconut oil as a lube? How did it work? Yes. This is from Keith from Minneapolis, Minnesota. I use Crisco, so don't use anything like that. Coconut oil can actually be bad for you and irritate your skin. Try something with aloe instead or other ingredients that are known to work in lube.

So that's what you should do. So don't use anything like that. There are so many, like, scented lubes you can buy and healthy lubes you can buy at stores. I would not use coconut oil. Studies say that it is bad for you. Okay. Dear Emily, love your show. I just want to know. Menace, this is for you, so pay attention.

I'm listening.

I just wanted to know. Menace says he does not date white girls. Does he date black girls?

That is totally untrue.

It's from Robin.

I date all girls. I'm just saying, white girls are just not on the top of my list. That's it.

Why?

Just not what you're attracted to?

Not that I'm not attracted to white girls. I find a lot of white girls.

Gorgeous. But the only thing is, I just don't find them as interesting. You Know.

Like, you know, you know, Becky, I know you're gonna probably just want to go to the wine country and drink some wine and you know, and your family wants to go play tennis. You know, I just don't.

It's just not my thing, you know, of white people. But that's not all white girls.

That's not all, but it's just. And white girls, man. Have you ever been around white girls when they get a lot of alcohol inside them, man? Like when I was in Vegas the past two weekends. There should be a law that just white people in general shouldn't allow to drink after 10pm because they come, they become extremely effing annoying. And I can imagine. Or the same 90%.

And I'm. I'm white. I'm white, but the only one very white. The area that also the area that I grew up, grew up in, I was the only white kid in my neighborhood. I didn't hang out with any white people until I was probably 14 years old.

Right.

So it was not what I was used to. All the girls in my neighborhood form.

Our attraction who attracted to at a young age.

Yeah, yeah. And you know, the girls that are attracted to were like Latin girls, black girls, even Tongan girls. It just, I wasn't around white girls, you know.

Right. Well, I think Robin wants to date you.

Robin. Bring it on. Okay, let's do it.

Say thanks for that answer, Manus. I just want to know more about you. Okay, thank you. Hello, Emily. I'm a 23 year old college student. I recently came out of a one year relationship in February, after which I waited a month and a half before I engaged with anyone new just to get over the person. I have then been with three people since. The first two people I was able to perform without any issues. Then the new person, I had some issues keeping it up at first. Now I can't seem to get it up at all. Can it be a mental issue or a physical issue? Patrick from Washington D.C. so he's having some erectile dysfunction issues. He can't keep it hot, hard or hot. So erectile dysfunction results from both physical and psychological issues. So I can't answer that. It's either way. And I don't know. After a night with a lot of alcohol or drugs, a lot of times that can impact your ability to get hard the next time the incident happens.

It can be psychological because you start to worry so much in your head that it's going to happen again. It's going to happen again. Oh my God. It's going to happen again and then it happens again. So that part can be psychological. It takes attention away from you being able to focus in the moment. So you have to learn how to get out of your head when you're having sex. This is for women too. And just focus on the sensations that you're feeling. Like, I'm feeling good, this is feeling good, this is feeling bad. But I think that if it didn't happen to you before and it's just starting now, I wouldn't worry about it. I would just, I would just again, when you're with someone, focus, be in the moment. I know that sounds very like, oh, like meditation, whatever, but you have to learn to focus on the sensations that your penis is feeling in the moment. And get out of your head that's telling you you're gonna have an argument that you're not gonna get hard.

And you know, not to pimp out one of your sponsors, Hot rocks. But I just, the reason that, you know, people, they want to try pills, they want to try magic things like that. The only thing that I actually, the reason that I'm down with hot rocks is because it's completely natural.

Right.

You know, like other pills out there. Who knows what chemicals are gonna be in it. But the hot rocks is.

Right.

Purely natural. You know what does it hurt to try something?

Why does it hurt? It's amazing. It's orgasmic and organic. Yeah, it's Hot rocks. R A W K S. And they really work, these pills. They help with. You have longer, stronger orgasms. They help you stay harder, longer. There's been like amazing studies and there's so many pills out there, but these are actually really good ones.

Yeah.

And they have a 30 day money back guarantee, which if you don't like it, you just send it back.

Yeah, just try it out.

Try it out.

That's a great suggestion.

But again, a lot of stuff is mental too, man. You got to really think, think about, you know, what really turns you on too.

Yeah.

What really turns you on, Emily?

What do you mean? Like when I'm having sex?

Yeah. Other than, you know, the guys throwing $100 bills at your naked body and Louis Vuitton bags. Like, what really makes you worry? A lot of things other than Christian Louboutin shoes with the red soles.

Yes. I saw a pair of those yesterday at Saks. I was downtown doing something and I ducked in because I knew they had them and I just looked at them and then I left because I love those shoes so much.

And you know Guys that don't like going to chain restaurants. Like, other than that, what really gets you horny, Right?

Exactly. You should think about that. But sometimes. Yeah. When he's having sex. You mean so he can say hi? Yeah.

Yeah.

It's okay to fantasize if it's not about the girl that you're with.

Yeah, totally. Fine.

That's all fine. We have no problem with that. Okay, we can move into our topic.

And the topic is.

Well, we've got a lot of top. We've got a lot to discuss today, but first, I want to be. Okay, well, our.

Can we talk about the guys that you made out with on the. On the television show Ms. Advised, coming out June 18th at 10pm yes, we can.

Oh, my God. If you watch the trailer right now, I am making out with two guys.

You're the only one.

I'm the only girl out of the three women that's making out with dudes.

And you're talking about threesomes and stuff like that.

I know.

Again, if you missed us talking about it, you have to go to facebook.com sex with Emily and see the yoga photo that Emily has up there.

That's the guy I kiss, though.

I know, but it's totally ridiculous. The guys you kiss, I don't even want.

You know one of them. Oh, you know both of them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You actually know both of them? Yeah.

Okay. One. Okay, I guess I can improve up. But the other one, man.

I know.

Brutal.

I just.

Brutal.

It was. You have to watch the show. It was circumstantial. I had no choice. I had to kiss him. I swear to God, I had no choice. And I got myself into a very sticky situation where I had to make out with him twice.

Yeah, yeah, go. And then also go to the bravo tv.com and go. Like Emily's profile.

Like my profile on there. Emily search for misadvised and not on there.

I know we're asking you to do a lot, but come on, we need.

Your support and your love.

We do our best to entertain you.

We are trying to entertain you. Aren't we entertaining? This is the thing. Before we get into our topic about why she doesn't want to have sex with you. Okay, women, this is an article that I thought about you. So I just had to bring it in and I thought about everyone. Well, everyone. Women. This is a study that came out. This is scientific. Okay? This is not. This is not just some bs.

It's science.

Women sexed for attention while men sex to show off. According to science.

So this is why what we were talking about earlier, why, like, every other pen, every other photo on chat roulette or whatever, is all winners. So have you ever wondered why people so often feel compelled to send each other photos of their naked bodies? So, according to Wired magazine, we can't help it. The urge to sext is primal, Connected to the design of our sexual brains rather than celebrity culture or digital connectivity. But it turns out that men and women don't feel compelled to sex for the same primal reason. So it all boils down to this. Ready? The reason why we sexed. Men want to show off their penises, and women want to feel desired.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Because when I. Okay, I admit it. I would sex with people.

Mm.

But I never, ever wanted to talk about myself. I just want to talk to them about what they wanted to do to me or what they just wanted to do in general.

Right.

I never say, oh, you know, do you want to check out my. My.

You're not the guy who sends around pictures of your wieners.

Oh, hell no.

Yeah, well, it says that they.

It says that half of women's sexual fantasies reflect the desire to be sexually irresistible. So in one study, 47% of women said they fantasize about being. About being strippers.

And harem girls. Ooh, whatever. Or any other performance. Half said they imagined delighting many men. And this is why women enter wet T shirt contests. They're saying. But men. So they're saying that women want to feel desired. Like how you always say that. I want attention and I want compliments. I want to feel desired.

So how many naked photos are you sending out?

I've never sent out a naked photo myself, ever. I've never done it because I just. I want to feel desired in other ways. I've just never done it. I don't want it to end up on the Internet somewhere. But men just want to emulate monkeys and whip out their dicks to display their sexual interest. So they're trying to show women that they're interested, and that's why they're doing it.

I understand the creepy guys that just flash people and, like, whip out their dicks. Like, here in the San Francisco Bay area, we have this thing called bart, which is Bay Area rapid transit. And it's a. It's. It's our subway system. And I can't even tell you how many women that I know that told me that guys just like whipping out their dicks and showing them on the bar train just out in public.

They do. Women. Men do that? My mom and I were just talking about that. We were in New York and two men did it while we were there. It was. It was a long time ago, but I think I've told you.

What do they get out of it?

I don't know. It's. It's. They get. They get. They're showing off. Yeah. Those guys might be a little sick in the head. They think that they're going to get a taker. If I show 200 people on BART, then someone would get down to their knees and suck my penis. It's not going to happen. You're insane. And it's illegal. Okay, we can move into our. One of our topics. Why she does or doesn't want to have sex with you.

Okay.

There's lots of complaints that people have that women don't want to have sex and men. So we're getting into why men don't want to have sex either. It's different than why women don't want to have sex. Why do you think that women stop. Why do you think? Give me one reason why you think she doesn't want to have sex with you. Five reasons why she stopped having sex with you.

Five reasons.

Same one.

Number one.

She'S exhausted. She doesn't like her body. She's. She doesn't feel like she's in shape, that she's impressed.

That is. So she feels unsexy.

Yeah.

That's a big one.

Boom.

Thank you. One day. I knew you would. So a big thing for women and for sex and for sexual issues that women have is with the. They have body image issues that they don't feel sexy.

Men has that, too.

Men have it, too. If a woman feels unsexy, she won't want to have sex. She might have put on a few pounds, she's exhausted, or someone insulted her. So that is a huge factor for women. What is the solution? Encourage her to take some time to pamper herself or treat her to an afternoon at the spa.

Show me your titties.

Sometimes something is simple. Okay. Ready? Menace. This is the solution for this one.

Yeah.

Sometimes something as simple as paying her a genuine compliment will remind her how attractive you think she is and get her ran to go. This all goes back to why we're sexting. We want attention, we want compliments, and we still feel fat that our ass looks fat in these jeans, but we don't want to think that you think our ass looks fat in those jeans or make us look sexy. That's one reason why she's not having sex is she doesn't feel good about herself. So it is true. And men, and this is for men. A lot of men don't feel good about themselves too. I'm not saying it's only women. Okay? Another reason why she might have stopped having sex with you is that she's angry at you.

Yeah. You don't have any money in the bank.

Women cannot get intimate with men if they feel. If they're angry. So if I'm pissed at you for something, I'm not going to want to come home and rip your clothes off. So. But the problem is a lot of women might bottle up their resentment. She might be so mad at you, but you don't have the slightest clue that anything's gone wrong. Has that ever happened to you? Menace? You're with a girl, she's mad at you, she doesn't tell you.

Yeah, right treatment.

And then, see, this is, this is just a domino effect of how that happens. Because then a guy will say, what's wrong? Nothing. Obviously there's something wrong. But then the guy was asked a certain amount of times and then he like, okay, not gonna ask anymore. And then the woman gets pissed.

Then she blows up.

Then she blows up.

But what you gotta do is just.

Just answer the effing question. What are you mad about? Sometimes we both, why you wanna play these games?

If she quickly says no, when you ask her if something's wrong and tries to change the subject, ask her again and encourage her to be honest with you. It's possible that after she gets out, what's bothering you off her chest, that you can have mind blowing makeup. That sex. So be kind, don't be like, what's wrong, Camilla? I knew something's wrong. You can quietly and calmly say, babe, what's up? It seems like something's wrong. I'm really curious. I want to know. It's all about the tone. You know, men really go wrong a lot in society with women because they use the wrong tone. And if you're like, what's wrong? Why are you being up? She's not gonna open up. Be like, babe, I want to know. Tell me. Like, seriously, looks like something's wrong. What's upsetting you?

What's wrong?

Can you do that mess? Can you do that tone? Because guys get mad that you're mad. That's what happens a lot. They're like, why is that? Why is she so pissed at me? Why are you so angry? So if you approach her and with anger, she's gonna still Saying what?

About if I'm nice and she still doesn't tell me.

She will tell you eventually. But if you're nice. See, you probably weren't nice. You probably, like, annoyed that she was annoyed.

No, she still doesn't tell you.

I'm always. Honey, she's got. She should tell you by that point.

Honey, what's wrong? Tell me.

Oh, see, that makes you want to open up.

I really would like to know what's wrong.

Okay, I'll tell you. Do you really want to know? I'm really glad you asked.

Okay.

I feel like I always perform oral sex on you.

Yeah.

And that you never perform oral sex on me. And I want to know what? Why? Do you like the vagina?

No, it's just you just don't have the most beautiful vagina out there.

That is so mean.

Menace has never seen my vagina, for the record.

That's just, you know, and it takes a really special girl for me wanting to go down there.

Okay, good. You just ended the relationship.

Good, because you already gave me drama, bitch. You won't tell me what's wrong. I just tell you what's wrong.

You're not going down on me enough. Jesus. See, that's how you do it. Or not.

Relationship ended.

Relationship ended. There another relationship ended. It's not gonna work with us. Okay? Another reason she might not be having sex because a lot of guys are curious that we're together, we're having sex, and then she stopped. She might be overwhelmed. And again, these, of course, can apply to men.

Overwhelmed over what?

She might be overwhelmed with her obligations between her work, workouts, family, drinks, friends, cleaning the apartment, cooking you dinner. If she's that type of woman, it's a miracle her head hasn't spun off. So when she gets home tonight, offer to help ease her body by ease her load by cooking dinner and doing the dishes. Tell her that she isn't allowed to do anything but a sip to of glass, sip of wine and relax load. I guarantee you that she'll feel so loved and appreciated, she'll want to do anything to please you in return.

All right?

So if a woman is stressed out, and this goes for men too, that stress and anxiety can wreak havoc on your. Your. Your desire, your wanting, your ability, your sexual desire to want to have sex. So give her a glass of wine, tell her to sit down.

All right.

Okay. She thinks the sex is boring. Ah, she might not want to have sex with you, Menace, because you are so goddamn boring. If you catch her yawning in mid Sex. You might.

That might be a sign.

Pound harder.

So what you can do is do not pound harder. That's the worst advice. I love that. Menace gives just the worst advice. So then I can just counter it with Doe pound hounder. This is what you can do. Have sex in different location. Incorporate aphrodisiacs. Buy her a naughty negligee or a toy. Do something different, people.

Just buy her something in general.

If you're bored and you've been together for a while and you haven't done anything different, buy her a sex toy, watch porn, have sex on the kitchen table. I don't care what you do, but do something different. We all get into these sex ruts. We all get into routines, but she's not gonna wanna have sex with you if she's bored.

All right? So fine.

Fine. Is that okay? So do something interesting.

Okay, that's cool.

I'm trying to think about the most interesting thing that a guy's done lately. I got a foot massage.

Foot massage.

That was awesome.

I'll get bored with doing that within, like, five minutes.

You wouldn't do it?

I mean, I would do it, but I just wouldn't do it for a long time. Like, okay, so, so much work.

I know. It's awesome, though. Okay, so then I've got here why men don't want to have sex. So if you're dude and you're like, this is why. It could be medications, antidepressants that you're taking or blood pressure, lack of sleep, that could be a reason you don't have sex. When I.

When I listen to Dr. Drew on loveline.

Yeah.

That's his number one question always, what? Are you on any drugs?

Oh, he's got to check. And same for the women. Do you know that that is the biggest libido killer and sex drive killer as drugs is that. And so many people are on antidepressants. And I know. I have a guy friend who just went on antidepressant. He's been going through a hard time, and he told me that he had to switch brands because he was having. He couldn't get it up.

Yeah. And then it's weird because some of.

The brands couldn't orgasm.

Yeah. Some of the brands you could either can't get it up or you just like, last forever. You can't.

Right.

You just stay erect.

And I know it's a bummer because you're like, oh, I'm so depressed. I'm so depressed. Oh, wow. I'm finally feeling really great. Everything's great. This pill really worked. It's a miracle pill. And then oops. The one thing that oops. The one size effect is sex. And that sucks because sex is. Is so important.

It's so weird that. What pills do, you know, give you.

A sexual side effect? Like your left arm twitches or something? Yeah.

Or, you know, you take this pill, you get an erection, but you'll go blind. Like you know what is going on.

Exactly. It's so bad. Why can't the side effects be like, good things, like you're not hungry anymore, like you're not hungry for sweets.

We spend millions and millions of dollars on this kind of stuff.

I know.

Why can't they just get it done down?

Because it's all connected in your body. Your desire, your serotonin levels, all that stuff.

Okay, so you can fix everything with tequila. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah. Okay. So some other reasons why he might not want to have sex. Tequila Menace loves his tequila is identity issues. When men feel uncertain about their role in the world, their desire for sex can dwindle. Depression might be linked to this, but isn't always. And this is what I've said. You've heard me say this. Identity issues for men can crop up when he is out of work. So if a guy doesn't have a job or is looking for work or is not happy, he doesn't want to get. He doesn't want to have sex. I feel that men tie sex so much to their self worth. And when they're insecure about their ability to provide, it's very primal. They don't want to have sex because they're like, I am less a man because I don't have a job or I'm not making enough money. So this can really impact men's ability.

Yeah.

So you got to just get in touch with that and get over it. Get a job. But no, but you should. But it is true that it affects women more than men. Like, I just know so many men who've gone through depressions or gone through, like, sexual dysfunctions when they're not working. So just don't be too hard on yourself and get a job.

All right?

Some men are turned off by aspects of sex. They turn away from sex rather than have sex that's not fulfilling for them. So they could be like, they could be. They could feel criticized or treated unfairly. They might feel like sex is too much work. He might have sexual fantasies that he doesn't want to share. So that could be a reason and then the number one thing for men is stress. Stress comes in many forms. It could be financial, like we said, personal, family members, illness, challenges at work and. Yeah, or fear of intimacy. That's another one. Some men fear intimacy and they don't want to have sex.

It's weird.

I mean, you don't feel interested in intimacy.

No, I just. I'm exhausted sometimes. I don't want to have sex. Do you know what's funny?

Talk to me.

A little off topic. Talking about not wanting to have sex. Kinda. There's this Twitter account that I follow.

They have.

Oh, my God. Facts, but there's also. What the f. Facts.

Okay.

And here in our area, Silicon Valley, there's a man who's like this tech guy who. Who's 40 years old, has 14 children, but he's never had sex. He's just like a donor.

Oh, right. We had, we. We talked about him. We did? I think so. Keep going.

No, no, but yeah, he, he's. He's 40 years old. He works in the tech world.

Apparently he doesn't. Just doesn't want to have sex, but he donates his. His sperm and has all these children.

There's some people who are asexual and they literally don't have any sexual desire. So maybe that's him.

Maybe people, I think, though, that claim to be asexual. I don't know.

No, it's real. It's a real. I mean, there's like Asexuality conference. Asexuality.

Do you know who claims to be asexual? Is Morrissey.

Really?

Yeah.

Didn't know that.

Google it. People.

Really? There's. It's No, I know, I know. People who are asexual and they're part of the asexual movement. And there's asex. There's. There's like the Society of Asexual People, like whatever it's called, there's like an acronym for it. It's real. Like they just don't feel the desire and they want. They have a whole coalition.

Do you think that they're into themselves?

Like they're into pleasure themselves? Some are, some aren't. Some of them don't even want that.

It's weird. So weird. Okay, so I mean, I mean, not saying it's bad, whatever. I'm not trying to have sex with you, but.

You know, I mean, people. It just feels like a natural thing to want to do, you know, to have sex.

I know, I know. Because we want.

We're animals.

But there's people who are born Just not wanting it and desiring it, whatever. But you got to find out if that's you. If that's you, you're asexual. You can look it up online.

I don't think this show is for you.

Go to the Google. The show's not for you. Okay, so how do you get your person? We just talked about why people don't want to have sex, but how do you get them, your partner, guy or girl, to have more sex with you? What do you think?

Well, as a man, you just have to do a lot of things.

You gotta do a lot of things.

You have to pay attention. You gotta take them out places. You gotta make him feel special. You gotta do all these things.

It's true.

And the other way around, you just say, hey, you want to have sex?

I know women, it's so much easier. But here's the thing. The first thing is, you're not gonna like this menace.

Oh, God.

You have to snuggle. Don't grope. So if you're a dude and you're in the mood and you reach out and grab us, a woman, and you grab our breasts or our butt or our genitals, this move does not turn us on.

Really?

Nope. We're not ready. We're not turned on. How about I do you touch my boob right now? Literally, it would be like you. I'd be, like, thinking about, like, what's for lunch? Like, it would not do anything for me. I'm not trying to do that right now. You could touch my boob if you want. I don't care. But women want to feel connected to our partners in ways that don't involve sex. So you naturally, as a man, think, oh, I'm gonna grab her breaths and let her know we're not turned on yet. Our brains are our largest sex organs. Do something to turn us on. Make me feel connected. So if you snuggle with me without grabbing my genitals, that's gonna get me turned on?

Aw, damn it.

Yep.

Hey, do you know what also turns them off?

You have to put us in the mood.

Is when you take. Take their head and you push it down into your crotch.

Oh, Menace.

Women love that.

Never, ever do the head push. Never push a woman's head into your crotch because she will bite your pieces. The worst thing you can do.

Or if you just take their hand and then put it on your crotch.

Men have got work to do. Men have got to turn us on. They have to put us in the mood. You have to make us Feel sexy. Sexy and want to be sexual.

Let me tell you a little problem, though.

What's the problem?

When I'm horny and I have an.

Erection, we're not ready yet.

You're not ready yet.

We're not even thinking about that.

And then my erection goes down. And then we make up. We make out, my erection goes up a little bit more. And then, you know, you don't want to go to pound town right away. So then my direction kind of goes down again. And then by the time we've done all that stuff, I'm so excited. I'm not gonna last that long. So I'm just saying get to pound town right away.

Menace, it doesn't work because, you know.

Another thing that I wanted to. I wanted people to experiment with is actually, you know what? Have sex before the date.

Just have sex. Get out of the way.

Just get it.

First date.

No, not the first date, but try it. Just try it out. Maybe it's somebody that you've been dating for a while, but you still in that frisky mood of like, oh, you know, am I gonna get lazy?

But you're not drunk enough yet. Before the date.

Menace, I know for me this is probably not a good idea, but for other people, I want you to try it. Have sex before the date and see how comfortable you are in the day afterwards.

Probably more comfortable. Yeah, but sometimes you're not ready to have sex. We're not ready to have sex yet. See, this is the thing.

See this thing? You guys are pain in the ass.

We're pain in the ass. I agree. But here's a tip. Studies show that if you hug your partner for 30 seconds only, it raises our oxytocin level. Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected and helps us put us in the mood. So start with a hug. Don't start with grabbing my breast. Don't start with grabbing my ass. We are not there yet. We are not turned on. You've got work to do. Okay, here's another thing that you can do. Do unto others. You want hot sex, you have to provide us with the kind of sex we want to have. Simply put, you got to give us. You got to give as good as you get. Do I need to spell it out for you? If you want us to use our mouths, you have to use yours, too. And you do it first. So if you want us to perform oral sex on you, you perform it on us first. You want something, do it to me first. And we'll do it. Women. What comes around, goes around. Here's another thing. Menace.

Yes.

That you're not gonna like much.

What?

But I know a lot of guys like this, but I don't date them. Is you need to talk. Spend 20 minutes connecting with your partner and listening to her talk can help her feel appreciated, helps her stress level go down, and then she's gonna wanna have sex with you. So that's what we got for you. That's great, man. This is gonna help. It's gonna help you in life. I promise.

All right.

Okay. That's what we got time for.

Thank you for listening. Thanks for listening. SiriusXM DreamTalk165. Yeah.

And all of our free Friday listeners. And we've got a lot more shows coming for you. Please check us out at Sex with Emily on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sexhemily.com, and check out Ms. Advised on June 18th on Bravo TV.

I know that's gonna be crazy.

10 o' clock at night and you.

Know you can search. You can search me on Instagram too. White Menace. Just saying.

Just saying. White Menace. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep.

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