SWE: How To Talk To Women

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta hurry Standard. Oh, my. Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good, but, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you should enter your email address and listen to all of our podcasts and check out our videos, our mailing list, all that. Sign up for the mailing list. Like I said, check out our sponsors and enjoy everything that Sex with Emily has to give you, because your sex life will certainly improve after listening to the show. And I also want to thank everyone for emailing me your questions@feedbackexwithenley.com I love hearing from you and try to get back to you as often as I can with all of your important questions. Today's show is very special. I've got Marnie. She's your wing girl. She's my wing girl, actually, too. We won't get into that. But anyway, Marnie is awesome. Hi, Marnie. How are you doing?

Hi. I love that I'm your wing girl. That makes me feel so.

You kind of are a little bit.

I guess I am. I think it's awesome.

I know. I was talking about that. I was like, yeah, Marnie. Marnie's introduced me to some nice, nice men here in the Los Angeles area. But Marnie is awesome. If you guys don't know Marnie, check out her website. It is. What's your website, Marni? The best way to find you.

Winggirlmethod.com right.

Wingirlmethod.com and she really, truly is a wing girl. She's not just saying it, like, inside and out. I've seen her work. Her work, and I just thought we should chat because, Marnie, we do. You and I are kind of leading parallel lives these days.

It's really strange. It's really strange.

So strange. But we do different things. We do a lot of the same things, but different things. Like, you have a very special niche. Tell me about how you got started being the ultimate win girl.

Well, I was drunk at a singles mixer. Isn't that how all businesses start?

Exactly.

So I was drunk at a singles mixer when I was 23, and I was actually there with my best friend who had just broken up with her boyfriend. And so she was on the market again and ready to mingle with men. And I actually had just met my husband a month earlier. So I was window shopping because I wasn't set on what I had selected. So we go to the singles mixer and nobody is talking to each other. It was like, literally, men were on one side of the room and women were on the other side. And I saw my friend getting really depressed because, you know, you don't get approached. You feel pretty unattractive. So I literally started grabbing men and making them approach her and making them interact with her. And then when she was taken care of, I was like, well, I may as well do it for other people. So I started grabbing them and introducing them to women, being their icebreaker, being their wing girl, telling them what to say, telling them what not to say. And I ended up having a blast. And by the end of the night, people were interacting, they were exchanging numbers. My friend actually met a guy there that I had introduced her to that she had dated for about three months afterwards.

So.

So when I. Yeah, so when I went home that night, I was just talking to my friend and my roommate, who's a guy, and I was just saying how much I hated my job. I was working in PR at the time, and I was miserable. And then I said how much I loved doing what I did tonight. I wish that I could do that on a regular basis and be a wing girl. And my roommate, who is a guy, was like, there's no way in hell anybody is going to pay you to do what you did tonight unless you throw in a case of beer and a blowjob. And I was like, I don't think you're right about that. I don't have to promise any sexual favors. I think men want to know what goes on inside of woman's mind, and they want to know how to approach us and talk to us and be with us and attract us. So I went into my bedroom and I posted an ad on Craigslist that said something like, what better way to attract bees than with honey? Sit back and relax. I will do your dirty work for you, and I will pick up women for you. And by the next morning, I had over 75 responses from guys. So I just started. And then over the years, it's been. I'm not going to say how many years now, but quite a few, almost a decade. But I have definitely more the business. So now I advise men and hundreds of thousands of men all over the world on how to attract, date, seduce, and be with any woman they want. I don't teach Guys how to be wimps. I don't teach guys how to suck up to women and buy them gifts. I teach them how to be masculine leading men that women want. God.

Marie, how do you. Yeah, and how do you. Okay, so tell me your typical guy now. Like, what are you doing? Now? I know you have, like, you do coaching and you do. You teach, you have seminars. You've got a lot of cool products on your site that people can buy. Yeah, but, but what do you. How do you work? Like, tell me your typical guy. Like, he calls you up or your client.

So I have tons of this guy. Who is this guy? To be honest, like, I will always describe my guys as the most awesome guys in the entire world, mainly because they're men who are willing to ask for help and want to make something happen that's not currently happening in their life. So I would get really upset in the past when people are like, well, who are these losers who work with you? And I would say they are much better men than you are for asking that question. They are pretty successful men who are very confident in certain areas of their lives, like their work life or their friendships. But when it comes to women, either they were too distracted focusing on their work life, or they never really owned or honed those skills, social skills, when it came to interacting with women. So, like, think of one of your best guy friends who you, you know, for your entire life, has always wanted to sleep with you or be with you, but has never stood up and asked for it and taken action.

Exactly.

That's who the guy is.

That's awesome.

Wonderful guys, but they're just, like, not taking that extra step.

Exactly.

And I think that you said a very important thing, which is what we always talk about. It's like, don't feel bad if you're not great at approaching women or you don't know what to say or you're looking for it. It's a muscle that you have to exercise like anything else, and if you don't use it, you lose it. And so, you know, that's why. That's how we get so many questions from men who are like, I just can't talk to women or I can't ask them out. And it's like. And I think that they feel bad and they beat themselves up, but it's like, no, you just need to, like, listen to my show, talk to Marnie, you know, have Marnie go on, whatever. Exactly.

And the thing is, it's like, okay, let's say you were to learn piano Right, Okay. Or tennis or whatever it is you want to start learning. You wouldn't just like sit down a piano and suddenly start playing Beethoven or Mozart and just be the most fantastic player in the entire world. You would have to take your time to learn the basics, then learn the steps to increase that skill. So being social and interacting with women, if it's not natural to you, then it is also a skill, but a skill that you can learn.

So.

So there are steps, and that's what my specialty is. It's laying out those steps to go through, giving you exercises. Sorry, but there is some work to be done when honing a skill, but it's quick for a lot of people, but it does give you the step by step steps to becoming the attractive men that women literally fall head over heels for.

So, like, give me an example of a step of a piece of homework you give someone.

Okay, So I have this method for conversation because I know conversation is, is tough for a lot of men because so men, typically, their goal is to approach a woman and get her to open up. So to try to get her to open up, they probe, right? They go into interview mode and they're like, what will get you to crack open and discuss something you're interested in? When that's not really a good tactic for women because it just makes them feel like they're being attacked. It makes them feel like you're entering into their space. It makes them feel creepy and it makes them ask, what the fuck do you want from me and why are you talking to me? So what I tell guys to do is actually, instead of getting them to open up, you open up first and lead by example. So the method that I use for conversation is called osa, Observation, Sharing and asking a question so that you don't break into a question or, sorry, into a conversation with a woman by, you know, like, bombarding her with questions, which again, feels interrogating and creepy and weird. So instead you make an observation about the world around you about something about her or about you in general. It's like, I, you know, I don't want anybody who has Tourette's syndrome to get upset with me. But it's kind of like you have Tourette's. You just say what is in what you're thinking in your mind. You say it out loud and you see what get caught on to it. So you make an observation. So if I walk into a coffee shop and there's a really long line and I'm standing behind somebody, I would literally just blurt out loud. Oh, this, this line is long. That is an observation that I'm making. Right. Then after you say this line is long, making the observation, you go into sharing mode, which is sharing something about your opinion or about an experience of yours or a story. But you want to share because when you share, that's when you give a little tidbit of information about who you are as a person. It helps paint a picture for a woman because women need to feel you in order to be attracted to you. And if you're simply just asking them questions, you, they're just gonna be like, oh, he's a great interviewer. If I ever wanted somebody to interview people, I would select him. But they don't really get to feel anything else about you.

So I don't want to bang him. Right, right.

And I don't wanna have sex with him 100%. But when they feel you, they're like, oh, okay, well, there's something interesting about him because curiosity is where attraction stems from. And I'll get back to that in a moment. But the sharing part is, okay, this is a long line. And then you can say, I've come in here every single morning for the past week and for some reason the line is extra long last week. You can continue sharing whatever your experience was, but it's a tidbit of sharing information. And then once you have gotten this woman or person's attention, then you can open it up by asking her a question or the people in front of you or around you a question. So you do observe, share, then ask. And typically you want an open ended question because it will get you a better response from people. So you ask a how, what, why, when and where question rather than a do you like? Because that usually only gets a one word answer. And OSA is again, it's an exercise and it's a method of having conversation. And as you start to do it, it will start to feel more comfortable and you'll start seeing. And I teach you how to observe and I teach you how to see the things that are around you. And I teach you all of that in my programs. But that's just the basic method for conversation that will assist you with every person that you talk to especially. That's a good one.

I like it. Do you also talk? Because I gotta mention something here real quick. I gotta talk about Max for Men, you know, is one of our sponsors and it's this product line and it's all about increasing male pleasure, attraction and performance. So they make a Mac shave Gel, like they make a Max, like all that pheromone infused and attraction and all that stuff. It's very cool products.

Really.

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The number four men.com. anyway, so they have like an oral sex gel. They have a shaving gel.

They have really?

Yeah, I know, right? Oral sex gel feels good on your. You know, if their men are getting oral sex. But do you do anything this with stuff. With men? Like do they ever ask you for. For makeovers or do you ever like dress that do go to that level?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Take them shopping. What do you do?

Yeah, well, that's a component of it as well. Like there are certain times where we do need to revamp the way that you look. So we want you to have your outside match with your inside. And sometimes there's certain people who dress like they're 50 years old when they're 25. So style is an extension of who you are and sadly it's the superficial extension. But it can get you to feel better about yourself if you do look better and it can get others to actually pay attention to you. I have this one client, we did a style makeover with him and he was awesome. But he dressed honestly like Bill Gates and it was horrible. He was like 27 years old and he looked like he was 52, which was very sad. Girls didn't notice him. And I had him work with one of my wing girls. He's an amazing stylist for a lot of celebrities. And he wrote me back saying, like, literally girls would chase him out of a location, wherever he was, and say, like, where did you get your clothes? Like, you look freaking good. And then that was the icebreaker for them. They actually initiate. Yeah, and then he could handle himself. Like he'd worked with me for about three months and like, then he was fine. As soon as he got that, you know, opener, he didn't have to do anything.

You can analyze where they need help.

And all that stuff.

Stuff.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And you, you know me, I'm pretty blunt and honest. I don't, you know, because the thing is, a lot of girls are careful about hurting feelings, which is why, you know, girls give out phone numbers without answering the phone. They say yes to things and then they flake on things. So, not that I'm not a Nice girl. But I understand that, you know, nice. Being nice is. Is great for certain things, but when you want to improve yourself, you need to hear the honest truth. And that's what I do with men.

Okay. I love it. So what do you think is the biggest mistake do you find in your work that men are making? Like, there must be some main theme that runs through that. You're just like, oh, my God, guys keep doing this over and over again. Or is there one?

Yeah. Well, they have a desired outcome in mind. They're trying to either, you know, they think that they're mind readers or that they're able to control another person. When, you know, everybody should know this. You can't control another person. So, like, a lot of guys, before they approach, like, okay, there's a cute girl. I want to approach her. I want to talk to her. I wanted her to be really interested in me. Then I'm gonna ask her for her phone number. Then we're gonna go on a date, and then we're gonna have sex, and then we're gonna have babies. And, like, they have this whole desired outcome in place before they've even said hello to this girl. Not knowing if she has bad breath, not knowing if she's a bitch, not knowing if she's nice, like.

Right.

Which means a lot of put her.

On a pedestal and create this whole Persona and this whole thing about her where they don't even know anything.

Absolutely. And what does that say about you as a man? It means, like, literally, a smile is all you need. That's how you're equating your value by saying, oh, she's better than me, and she's more attractive, and she's somebody that I should want because she's pretty. Which, of course, being pretty is something that is an attractive point, but it shouldn't be. The be all and end all that either stops you from approaching or creates this big manifestation of a million desired outcomes. Right.

Okay. That's a good one. So guys should stop thinking when they're going on dates with women, when they're approaching or they're meeting someone new, like, that they know exactly where it's going. People do that in so many areas of their life, too.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, they do that everywhere. Then they're so disappointed all the time. So just be present and don't trip on this too much. So, okay, how about looks and money? We hear about that a lot from guys. Like, but I don't have the looks. I don't have the money. I think it's like a way of keeping guys like self esteem down and not really looking. Like they just making excuses like, isn't that something that guys are always like, yeah, but I don't have money yet or I'm not hot or I'm not whatever.

Oh yeah, I get all the time. Well, I'm unemployed, so I don't feel like I could be utilizing your information right now. But I will once I have a job. I'm like, what do you mean? Do you understand my female friends, the guys that they're dating, most of them are in a band and unemployed. Like, it's not about being employed or being really wealthy. And I do wish that men understood this more that we are triggered by different things than them. We are. Yes. Looks, they are an important factor. For sure. You have to be attracted to them. Doesn't mean you have to be a model. But a woman can be attracted to you and your looks can start to change based on your character. So, for example, me, when I have men approach me, I see them for who they are and what they look like for five seconds before they open their mouth and I make a snap judgment because I'm a human being and I'm going to make a snap judgment. I'm going to put them in a category. I'm going to be attracted to them or not attracted to them. But something really interesting happens after they start to talk and I start sensing their character, their face literally starts to morph in front of me and they will become either more attractive or less attractive to me over a period of time. Women have multiple boxes that need to be checked. So looks are a factor, but personality definitely is way more important to women than it is to men.

I agree, I agree. And they always say, like, it's true. I try to explain this to so many men. I'm like, men grow on me. Like, there's been so many times where I met I didn't think anything or I didn't find him attractive. And like, if you could say it, or like, you know, he's the hottest guy I've ever seen and we're dating for whatever, how long?

Oh, yeah. If they don't become a wimp and put you on a pedestal. Yeah. If they still maintain that level of the intention is we're exploring each other, then yes, absolutely. Because I had that as well with my husband. I honestly didn't find him attractive when I first met him. And I remember being out with my girlfriend and I was talking to my husband and I turned to her and Said he's cute, right? And she's like, yeah, he is. Are you blind?

But I wasn't attracted to him at first, and he did grow on me, but he never got into, like, the friend zone with me. The I'm gonna be your best friend zone.

Let's talk about the friend zone for a second. So we're always hearing about the nice guys being pushed into the friend zone, and they're always in the friend zone.

How do they.

How can a guy, like, what did he do that did not put him in the friend zone? Cause I'm sure you're like me. We have friend zone. Many, many a man.

Well, I would listen.

How do you explain that?

I will say one thing. I've never friend zoned anybody. Like, it's not like I.

It's not like we purposely are doing it in our brains, right?

And it's not like I say to him, you are in the friend zone. Now stay there. You can't move. It's like I have. I have no control over that. It's a way that I perceive him. And I. And it's. It's not seeing him as a sexual option. He doesn't excite me. There's no curiosity there. There is no attraction. He is just a friend. Maybe, like, once in a while, I'll question it, and if you were to act on it during that period of time, then I'll do something. But you are the only one, men, who are in control of you being in the friend zone. Either you can act like a friend or you can act like something more. And if you keep acting like this, well, actually, it's not a friend that you're acting like. Because the truth is, if you were acting like you do in front of your friends, where you're far in front of them, you challenge them, you tease them, you call them out on shit, you would actually create more attraction.

Right?

Right.

Because men think they can't. And that's why I always tell men, too. I'm like, you know, just act like. I know it's hard to do, but, like, think of how you are with your friends. Like, we're all, you know, so chill, so open with our friends. We are like, I think I'm my best self with my friends. Sure. Like my peeps that are my peeps. And it's like, if you can somehow channel that person that you are with your friends and bring some of that. Save for the fart jokes. Women don't love fart jokes as much as men do. You realize that Marnie comes up all the time. Like, guys, not funny fart jokes. Don't like them.

No, that's like that, that's one level too far. But I will tell you that I have one girlfriend who, the first time she had a conversation with her husband, they talked about poop and. And that, like, won her over. But they are weird, raunchy.

No, you're right, they're. I should not write off the fart and poop convers. All women in the world.

Yeah, but I wouldn't say, like, to fart on her face. Like, that's not. That's not attractive. But if you're having a bantery conversation and then you can steer away from it afterwards, that sexy. But one thing that a lot of guys do is what they do is they actually get into fake boyfriend zone, which is when they're trying to prove how great of a boyfriend they would be. Especially when girls are seeing somebody else or being interested in other guys. Like, but look how great I am. And the thing is, you want to be that guy when you're in the relationship. But when creating, not creation, when attraction is trying to be created, you do want to act more like the friend with her. Because if you start acting like a fake boyfriend, you're not really being yourself. You're not stating your opinion. You're not challenging her. You're not being bantering.

What do you mean by the fake boyfriend? Like, they're just like, like, you don't.

Really speak your mind in front of her. And she'll call you and say, it's 10:30. Do you want to come over and go shopping?

You're like, sure.

And then you listen to her talk about, like, you know, something she's really upset about. And you listen for half an hour and you become her therapist. And that's like showing, oh, I'd be such a great boyfriend. This is what you could be getting when, what the good thing is to do or the best thing is to do. For example, if a girl's talking to you and she starts talking about this guy that she's seeing, and it's so horrible. And instead of just like listening to her and offering advice on how to get back together with this guy, you can say, listen, if you're gonna keep whining like this for an hour and a half, I'm gonna have to charge you. Like, where you're teasing her a little bit about it. Just. And then, and then switch the conversation, just saying, like, I don't want to hear about this shit.

Like, right Exactly.

Stop crying.

Which will cry on my shoulder unless. Right. I'm gonna charge you for that.

Exactly.

Right. That's what guys think. They're like, oh, she wants me to listen and be sensitive and caring. And those are the guys who are. There's a lot of guys who like to date women with boyfriends, and that's. They think they fall into the friends of the guy or that they're attracted to a lot of women they think they can have. And some guys are successful at procuring those women from their current partners. But the guys that playing to the friend zone and listen to the ex boyfriend. I've had so many of those guys in my life, I'm just having flashbacks to, like.

I know, me too.

Guy friends that would be like, oh, and listen to me. And in the back of my mind, I'm going like, I know he wants to date me. Like, you know, now that I can analyze it, years later, I'm thinking they were just. They just so friends and they listened, you know? Yeah, I was not attracted to him because I'm talking about my guy. It's just. Yeah, it doesn't work.

No. But to be honest, if one of those guys who, listening to you said, like, listen, like, stop listening. Stop being with this guy. Like, I'm gonna show you what a really good time is. Come into the bedroom with me. Or he grabbed me and kissed me, that would get me to change my mind a lot faster than him sitting to me for 45 minutes. I know. Okay. I started watching. I watch TV or Netflix every night to go to sleep. And so what I do on my website is when things are visuals and these TV shows that I see that relate to, you know, attraction and all of that stuff, I usually create videos and put them on YouTube or put them on my website. So I've been watching Ally McBeal recently.

Oh, yeah?

Do you love that show? Have you ever seen it?

I loved it years ago. Yes.

Love that show. I was like, oh, I'll watch this again. So there's amazing videos that are part of this show because it was David Kelly. Very intellectual. Anyway, so there's this kiss scene the other night where two of the characters are talking about, like, this amazing first kiss. And the girl Ling is talking about, you know, she gets very intimidated by the first kiss because if it's. If it goes wrong, then she's kind of over it. So she gets scared to go in for the first kiss, which is why she was avoiding the first kiss for, like the first four dates. So this guy Richard said to her, well, tell me, what would you expect from her first kiss? Because I want you to walk me through it. And she described the best first kiss. And she said, you know, lean to the right, then you want to make sure your lips are moist. And she licked his lips. And then she said, then going close, be soft and just match me. Don't add more, but enjoy the moment. And she gave a much more.

I was hot.

I know I was turned on. I'm like, I want to kiss you. I totally want. But, like, I was into that. And honestly, if a guy were to do that to me, just be in so much control, but still asking my permission at the same time, you know, because he was. She was giving ample opportunity for him to say stop. And he obviously didn't want to stop, but it was super hot, like the way that she took action. And for guys, that's all we're waiting for you to do, is to take action, because we're not going to be the ones to do it. So whether it's for the kiss, take action in similar way to what I described. And I have way more descriptions and visuals of how to go on that first kiss.

Yeah. What are some of the ways, Marnie, what are some of your programs that I know you have a lot on your site that people can download and easily access your information.

Yeah.

This is my favorite product because I keep adding to it. It's called what's Inside a Woman's Secrets Women Will Never Tell You. So when I first started my business, I felt that the best thing I could offer to men is a female perspective. So I gave my female perspective. And then afterwards I was like, well, you know what? It can't just be what I think. It has to be what other people think as well and other women. So I started doing these interviews with women just like every different type of woman, older, younger, from Spain, from the United States, from Australia, like all over the world, I want to collect women's point of views and honest opinions about attraction. What turns them on? What turns them off. So it's now a interview series, and I only take the best of the best information.

Awesome.

With like 55 interviews with beautiful, like, amazing women. And I ask them the questions that men ask me most. How do I talk to women? How do women want to be approached? What do they like in the bedroom? There's tons of questions. And what I learned over a period of time is that women are great at being interviewed, but they don't really give away the goods when they think they're being interviewed, but when you turn the microphone off or the recorder off, that's when they start telling you really juicy information. So about 50% of the interviews that I did, I pretended to turn off the recording.

Oh, yeah.

Which is good. And then I got really good information out of them.

And.

And I think that I've become. I'm good at getting real quality information out of women and calling them out. Because a lot of women will say, oh, I would never respond to that if a guy approached me that way. And then I, you know. I know in my mind, yes, you would. If it was the right guy, absolutely. So I will push them to understand that they have in the past responded to that type of behavior or that they will in the future.

Because.

Because we have an ideal in our head as women of who we are and what should be expected of us. And if, you know, some idea isn't in line with who we are or who we want to be perceived as, we'll sort of fight it. So I kind of call women out a little bit, which is good. But I also help them realize things about themselves.

Okay, so they can check this out on your site. Oh, yeah, sorry.

I got onto a tangent. But, yeah, they can check it on my site. You actually have a link. I'm going to put it on your site. So.

Awesome. Okay. Yeah. Oh, so that's. Okay. So sex with emily.com wingirl that's two GS. Yes. And they can access this product? Yes.

And now I think it's gonna take them to a page where they're gonna have to just sign in and tell me that they're a human, because I have tons of, like, spam and robots coming to my site. So, yeah, that. That will be there when they go to that page.

Okay. Love it. And it's free. That one's free product.

Well, they'll get a free book.

That's so cool.

They'll get a 10 mistakes men make With Women and How To Avoid Them. And then, yes, they will get.

Sorry. They will get that free book. But the program, what's Inside a Woman's Mind, it does cost, but it's a very low cost. It's 67. Yeah, $67. And then. Yes, $67. And then you get a free week of email coaching from me so that if anything is not covered in there, which I don't think it is, but you have a particular situation that you want answers to, you can email me, and I will email you back within for hours with A response to help you go along with women.

Oh, that's free coaching. Okay, awesome.

Marnie. Yeah.

So instant coaching. Wherever people are in the world, they can find you, they can talk to you. Oh God, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, I love it. So we'll get back to the get, but if you want to check it out. Sexwithemily.com wingirlwithtwo GS okay, another question for you, Marnie, that comes up a lot is, and this came up to you this morning. I was talking to a friend and he's like, oh, she only likes the bad boys. So do you think that women want the nice guy or the bad boy? Do you think? Why do you think I talk about this in the Charlotte? But why do you think women are attracted to the so called bad boy?

Well, okay, I will say one thing. I don't know who started this rumor about women not liking nice guys, because women absolutely do. What they don't like are wimps and pushovers. And calling them nice is the nice way for women to say, get some balls and then come talk to me. So it's not that they don't like nice guys, they don't like pushovers and wimps. On the flip side, the reason that women are attracted to bad boys is because they're exciting, they're different, they're, they march to the beat of their own drum and they display all of the characteristics that women are attracted to, including confidence, leadership.

Comfort within themselves. They display all those characteristics, especially in the first meeting, maybe in the first week of interacting with them. And then later on down the road, they become unreliable assholes, which is horrible. And I will, I will say no women wants that. But when she is in that situation and she is attracted to somebody who actually first displayed great characteristics, she, she does want to believe that that's really who he is or that's who he could be. So as he becomes more of a bad boy and unreliable and lazy and jerkish to her, you know, it becomes addicting because sometimes he'll be nice and sometimes he won't be nice, sometimes he'll give her the attention. So he shows sparks of that he can potentially be this amazing guy. And women ultimately do want to change that type of guy into being the quality man that I just described earlier, but it ends up backfiring in their face and it never happens and they waste a lot of time. But women don't want to be with, with a bad guy.

They don't, they don't. They just want some of the Traits. Some of the personality traits maybe, but not the abusive, crazy ones, but the ones that are attraction and the ones that, that turn us on. The ones that you're curious, the ones when there's mystery, when there's, you know, just sexy confidence. Yes.

And I have lots of girlfriends who have dated the bad boy and they all safe. I wasted three years of my life. But it becomes addicting because then you're like, oh, I have to prove myself right. I can do this. He does want to change. It's like it's just this battle and you're never really yourself.

They want to change them kind of thing. But guys do that with women too. They want to change them.

Oh, people are going to change.

Absolutely.

Absolutely, yes.

Unless they want to change. That's that people do not change unless they want to change. So you're. If you're in a relationship right now and you are thinking, but if only they were blank, and you list a bunch of things on that list and you think that one day they're going to be perfect, it's not going to happen. No one changes unless they want to change.

Exactly. The only thing that you can change is yourself and how you react to whatever it is that they do. So you can learn to deal with it, learn to understand it, or go. If it's like something like addiction or depression, whatever it is, you can go to a support group to understand how to deal with it. You can only change you. You can't change another individual.

Exactly, Marnie. So true. Okay, so what else can we tell people? Where else? Because we know they can find you@wingirlmethod.com.

I feel like because we talk so fast with one another, I just gave away tons of good information.

I'm gonna be a content slut. I'm a material whore giving away all my goods.

I know, but Marnie, you're so good. You talk so fast. It's so funny. Marnie just got an email from one of. Was it your listener or my listener or something?

No, it's one of my listeners. Have you heard of Emily?

And they're like. That's so random. They're like, do you know Emily Morris? You both look the same and you talk really fast.

I know, I've never.

Cause that's the thing.

Like, we just met. Actually, not just now, we've known each other for five or six months. But like, I've never had an email like that before. And then now suddenly, randomly, they're like, have you heard of this girl? It's just it's just so funny how our lives are, like, really mixing with each other. It's funny.

Oh, my God, that is so funny. I know, Marnie, because I just adore you and I think you're doing great work and I love that you're giving away this free book for my listeners.

Yes, of course.

I really adore you as well. So I want to give them as much information as possible because I understand that this area of your life, you know, can really weigh on you if you don't have it worked out. And this is really the first step to working it out. But you have to be serious about it. You have to take action and do something. And I think that this is the first step to take action.

Okay, well, I think that. Hold on a minute. Something just happened here. Hold on one second.

Hold on.

Sorry, Marnie. Okay, so everyone got to check out. Okay, so they go to the. It's just my thing just froze here. So, Marnie, Marnie, Marnie. They would go to. I adore you. I want them to check out your site. You can go to sexymoney.com Wingirl I also. Marnie, quick question for you. We started talking about this. We were sort of offline talking about sex toys, but my sponsor and Marnie and I are gonna have a sex toy party. Since we're both in la, she's gonna come to my house and check out my sex toys. Goodvibes.com. they make the most amazing. All the sex toys you want, all the products you want. I love the Jae Jou line. I love the. I mean, Marnie, Juba vibe. What's your fav.

Well, actually, we've talked about this before offline, but I have a new favorite toy that I just got with my husband. So it's this thing that you can. You can like.

It's like a.

Not a strap on, but like you can put it onto your legs so that you can have sex. And then it's like a vibrator that just rests on your clit.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The. I think it's called the G Vibe or what's it called?

I totally forget the box is in the other room right now, but it's like this little bunny rabbit and it has all these different speeds. It's fantastic. I honestly, this is my first time using it this past weekend. I had one of the best orgasms of my life recently.

Oh, my God. I want to know what it is, because now I want to recommend it. It goes. You can use it during intercourse.

Yes. And my husband really liked it too. And then he was like, oh, maybe we should start incorporating more sex toys. So we enjoyed it for sure. And he enjoyed listening to me as I was having my orgasm. That was fantastic for both of you.

I know I just got back from Vegas where I just came home with a suitcase full of vibrators, but. And there's a lot of new couple vibrators out there. A lot of women need clitoral stimulation and they need extra stuff during intercourse. Like you said, fun to use with your partner. Go to goodvibes.com use coupon code GV Emily20 for 20% off purchases of $100 or more. So, okay, Marnie, you're the best. And everyone, check it out. Sexlove.com Wingirl and. And Marnie, so great to talk to you. And your website again is.

Well, no, we'll just use the website.

Let's go through my website.

Yeah, exactly.

Eff it. Okay, everyone. Marnie, it's so great to talk to you. Thanks, everyone, for listening to sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

So, you know I'm.

Obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles?

Okay, so get this. I always light candles when I'm enjoying.

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And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line.

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My skin felt really dry, so I.

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Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today@emilyandtoni.com and you're welcome.

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