SWE: Just the Tip

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God. That feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. Between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you'll improve your sex life by listening to Sex with Emily. Especially if you become a friends with Benefits member. It's $4.95 a month, which is nothing. It comes up to 20 some odd cents a day, which is. I don't even know what that is anymore. What can you buy for 25 cents? Like, nothing. Like, that's your change in your change drawer. And then you get to get four shows a week. You get special perks, you get your emails answered. And we just love you to be part of the sexual lemon community.

Do you know 25, 25 minutes will get you 3 minutes of parking time in San Francisco?

Exactly. I know. You just plug the meter. We have, like, we're like, raped and pillaged by the parking meters here. Yes, we're excited to be on Extreme Talk XM165 tonight. Hello, everyone. It's great to be here. So if you have a SiriusXM you can tune in. And today's show, we're talking about just the tip. Oral sex tips for men and for women. And because we know this is a big topic that comes up, how do I do it right? What do I do?

Oral sex tips. And you're calling it Just the Tip.

Yeah, we like that title.

That doesn't even make sense.

Kind of just the tip. Just the tip of the penis.

Just tip.

Or the clitoris.

Just the tip means.

I know, I get it. But we just thought it'd be funny. You're not thinking it's funny.

You guys are eating some special brownies in the office.

I wish we were eating special brownies in the office. But that's what we're talking about today. We've also got some sex in the news. We're answering your very, very important questions. Your sex questions that you sent to feedback at sex with emily.com where you will get all of your sex questions answered. And especially if you're a friends benefits member, your emails go right to the top. I'm your personal sex coach and I'll give you the answers that you need. What up, menace?

I'll call it like mouth hugs or something.

Mouth hugs.

It's like a harlequin card or something. Mouth hugs. No. Yeah.

Man, I'm excited for the weekend. I'm gonna do absolutely nothing. I've been out of town. Oh, that's good, right?

You're not going to get arrested or anything?

No, just going to stay home, enjoy my house. It's been raining here in our area.

So bummer in San Francisco rain, but it's kind of. The sun came out a little bit.

Yeah.

I think I'm going to Los Angeles this weekend for a sex conference.

Oh, my God.

I know. There's all these sex. It's called Bill. It's part of, you know, Ted. The TED Talks. Have you heard about them? So it's supposed to be like the sister conference to the TED talks. It's Bill Bil. And there's. There's a special sex component of it. And a lot of the sexperts in my field are gonna be there. And I think, Kelsey, my sister and I are gonna drive down to LA and do some sex talk.

You're just gonna go there to see your ex? That's the whole.

No, I'm not used car salesman. I don't stay with the used car salesman. He's not actually used car salesman.

He looks like one.

He looks like his car salesman.

The used kind.

The used kind of salesman. Not like he's selling Lamborghinis. They're used sex cars. But I think. I'm not staying with him. I'm staying with my friend Gina. And we're gonna. I'm gonna do that. And I'm excited because you know what? There's so many people doing sex stuff. And so I go out and mingle, be a networker, talk to folks. I don't do that that much. I need to meet with some people in LA anyway, so I think I'm gonna do the drive. It's not bad. Six hours. How long does it take you?

Yeah, a little under six hours.

Yeah. I mean, I don't love the drive. I always think I love the drive. I'm like, I'm gonna talk to people. I'm listening to music. And then after hour three, I'm like, really? I wanna wish I flew.

I drove there like I don't know how many times in the past.

Like a million. I wish you were coming with us. It'd be so fun. We'd have a rager.

I gotta prepare for Coachella, which is a music festival in South.

Did you get tickets?

Yes, of course. I always do.

It's two weekends now.

Yeah, I'm going both weekends.

That's awesome.

I'm going to be gone for a week. Are you going to miss me?

Oh, Jesus Christ. No.

I can figure out a way that we can do the show.

Yeah, yeah, you're smart like that. We can do the show because we do the show three, four times a week. So also, there's some things going on. So yesterday we had a guest on the show, Julie from Hot Rocks R A, R, R, A W, K S, not as opposed to Rocks R O, C, K s. And these pills are supposed to enhance your libido, your energy, and I've been taking them for two days now. And I'm wondering if I'm just gonna want to bone everything that moves this weekend.

How long did they say before it takes your family?

I'm like, oh, it'll take a month. They're like, it can take a week. So I don't know. I just popping pills all over the office today. I kind of want to. I want to see if they work. And I'm going to report back to you how I feel, but maybe I'll just be like a horny motherfucker or something.

You should be.

I know. You never know, right? This weekend, it is the weekend. I'm so excited about that. And I just want you to know that it is the weekend and it's a good time to go shopping online, especially if it's raining or snowy. There's lots of snow in the world right now. And you can always use coupon code. If you go to AdamAndEve.com, if you've never heard of AdamAndEve.com, they've got awesome sex toys, they've got laundry, they've got pornography for men and women and couples. And if you use coupon code Emily at checkout, you get 50% off most items. A free gift, free shipping. And the Kim Kardashian sex DVD. If you haven't seen it yet, it's the full DVD. So go to AdamAndEve.com, check that out. Support our sponsors. We would love that. And that's what I got. Anything else you do this weekend, you're just gonna chill at home. Are you gonna use those condoms, those lifestyles condoms I just gave you?

I'm gonna use each and every one of them.

I just gave him a pack of condoms and I said that he has to report to me every time he uses one.

And I said, you gotta report to me every time. You're like, ah, nah, nah, nah, I'll report to you.

But it might not be till, like 2018, till. But, you know, that's another story.

What's going on in the news? Anything?

Yeah, I've got some good sex in the news for us.

It was Justin Bieber's birthday yesterday. I heard that he's 18.

Oh, finally.

Yeah.

18 is how much money?

Oh, probably 60 million.

Wow. I actually have a Justin Bieber story.

You do?

Yeah. Want me to lead with that?

He probably had sex for the first time yesterday.

You're right. He's had sex.

No way.

Come on. He's one of those celebs who's like, I'm waiting till I'm 18. Yeah, that's never gonna happen. So Justin Bie apparently bails on his Valentine's Day massage. So Selena Gomez for Valentine's Day, his girlfriend got him. Went away with Justin Bieber, and she got him, like, a couple's massage. But apparently Bieber got in the room, freaked out that, like, a big muscly man was touching her and giving her a massage. And he's like, done, Game over. No massage. He didn't know that. Like, he's young. He's 18. Didn't realize that when you get a massage that it can be a man giving you a massage, touching your woman, but it's, like, illegal to do anything. Like, he's not gonna, like, be sticking his fingers up her vagina or anything.

Well, first off.

Who gets massage for Valentine's Day? Like, takes you to a spa. For a man. For a man.

Seriously, a lot of men love massages.

Well, take their man card away because no one, no man wants to go do that on Valentine's Day.

I know a lot of men who would love a massage.

Yeah. And they also love kissing other men.

You do not. That's so not true, Menace. You've just. You've never had a mass massage.

I don't want a massage. I want to go to a chiropractor.

Okay, well, do that.

That's a man's massage. Okay.

No massage. I know a lot of guys who love massages. They feel awesome. And you can get a woman, a hot woman doing it.

They probably have ponytails. And you probably go do yoga together. And drink wine.

Exactly.

And do gluten free diets.

Exactly. Something like that. No, I've gotten massage. I've gotten a couple. I was in Vegas with a dude a few years ago, and we got a couple's massage and they like, you're gonna, like, do one of your blahs right now. But they light candles and it's both of us. We get naked and then they put a towel over you and we each got massages and it was very romantic. And then we had sex. What's the problem?

Yeah, but I'm talking about Valentine's Day.

What would you rather do on Valentine's Day? I'd rather. Do you want, like, a steak?

Yeah.

Whatever happened to blowjob and steak? Steak and blowjob day. When is it?

That's. I think that's in 12 days.

Okay. It's a follow up to Valentine's Day. If you haven't heard, there's something called steak and blowjob day.

No. Steak and BJ Day.

Whatever. We all know what we're talking about. Steak and BJ Day. And apparently that One is for men because Valentine's Day, apparently, is for women.

It's exactly a month after Valentine's Day.

Are you gonna get a steak in a blowjob?

Probably.

I hope you do, Menace.

I'll get on Craigslist right now. I'll make it happen.

I can get you the steak part. Okay, I can't make the steak, but I can buy you a steak. Okay. Close to half of women feel ugly without makeup. This is probably not a surprise, but a study came out. It's a survey found that nearly half of the women linked their bare face with being unattractive. And a quarter of women started wearing makeup between the ages of 11 and 13. I mean, that's stupid. I'm sorry I'm even sharing that. Because most women, I guess, do feel ugly without makeup. But I feel okay. I don't feel my best without makeup, but I prefer to wear makeup. But I didn't start wearing makeup. I wasn't wearing makeup in my teens. Maybe I should have. I would have gotten more action. But I mean, do friends that you can notice when they wear makeup and when they don't? As a guy, are you like.

Yeah, some.

Yeah, some. You're like, ooh.

Oh, you're looking kind of hurt.

Right? Exactly. Don't tell her that, though.

But I do.

You do. You're like, what happened to the lip gloss?

My God, you're looking kind of hurt today. What's going on?

Exactly. And she's like, sorry, I didn't do my eyeshadow. Okay. A study finds women use condoms less the longer they're in college. So a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research finds that starting in their freshman year of college, women use condoms less and less the longer they're in school. Results show that women started out at school with moderate to high levels of condom use, only to steadily use them less over the course of the time. They also found that women who binge drink were more. Less likely to use condoms. Duh. You're so drunk you don't remember what a condom is, even it can't hit you over the head. Use condoms, people, because you will get a disease. You will get herpes, if not something.

Worse, and people won't love you as much.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Use condoms, people. Just. I just gave Menace a bunch of condoms. Lifestyle's Condoms. We've got some condoms in the office. We'll send them to you if you email me. Why you think you need condoms? Feedbackexthemy.com, i'll send you a Little care package.

What was I going to tell you? Oh, okay. I don't know if you have this in the news segment, but I read it on Twitter right when I was walking over.

Tell me.

And Rush Limbaugh apparently said, if you want to use birth control, then you're a slut.

I heard about that. I heard about that. What an idiot.

Well, like birth control pills or whatever. I mean, it's true you are a slut if you want to use birth control, but.

Oh, Menace, that's the dumbest. That actually is the dumbest thing you've ever said. Okay, fine.

Every show.

Well, because you do a lot of dumb things. So I'm sorry if it's. I'm discrediting myself, but Menace, women, everyone should use birth control because otherwise you get pregnant. You get pregnant. If you don't, why is. Why are you.

Birth control.

You're like a super. If you get, you know those injections into your. Into your.

The iud.

Yeah. Where it, like.

Yeah. It stays forever.

Yeah. You don't have to.

Why are you a. It just means that you're protecting yourself from getting pregnant.

You just love banging hall of fame guys.

I thought it's not a bad idea because then you just get like one injection a year and you're on birth control all year long. Because so many women, what happens is they have to take the pill every day. They forget. And if you forget just one day, the potency of the birth control goes down. So you can't keep having sex. If you forget your pill once, it's no longer as effective. So it's not a bad idea. Speaking of pregnancy, Snooki lied about her pregnancy.

Yes.

What do you think? Is she pregnant or not? She denied pregnancy rumors earlier this month, but sources tell TMZ that she had a damn good reason. She didn't want to jinx herself. Because a lot of women don't want to talk about their pregnancy before three months because they can get. They can have miscarriages or whatever. She was already pregnant when she went on Sirius XM radio on February 1st. Told everyone she was outraged by the suggestion. Now it seems she's crossed the three month meth threshold. An announcement should come soon.

Yeah, she hasn't tweeted in a couple of days. Let me see if she's.

Maybe she's barfing.

They said that she hasn't tweeted for three days.

Is that because you think she's like having birth morning sickness or something?

No, that just means that she doesn't want to Say anything.

How long is she with her boyfriend? 16 minutes.

No, she's been with him for, like over a year.

And how old is she?

She's, I think, 24. 24, 23.

Kids. People don't have children before you.

She's worth a couple million dollars, which she can do whatever the hell she wants.

Yeah, but she's not mature enough to have a child just because you have all the money in the world. People I know with all the money in the world have children and don't make the best parents.

She said she' saying that she wants a kid.

I know, but she's a little young. Don't get married before 30. And try not to have kids before 30.

Just tweeted 5 hours ago for the first time and says congratulations to Lady Gaga for launching some foundation.

Okay, so she's not talking about her pregnancy yet. I mean, I get waiting three months because then you get a miscarriage because the women have a lot of complications under three months. So you don't want to talk about it.

And of course. And of course you. She wants to sell it to, like, US magazine. The exclusive.

Exactly. And then make another million dollars. Yeah.

Why? Just put it on, Twitt. She's actually not as worth as much as I thought she was.

Oh, how much is she worth?

She's worth $2 million.

That's it? That's all she's made in Jersey.

I mean, believe me, I would love $2 million, but you would think she would have a lot more than that.

Yeah, totally.

But it's weird. The guy, the Situation guy, he's worth like almost 10 million.

So what has he done more effectively than Snooki?

I do not know. Because he doesn't do anything.

Really. He does. Is he getting paid more for, like, public appearances or something?

No, like Pauly D, the other guy, he gets paid 40 grand.

We're talking about the Jersey store, folks.

Yeah. Cause he. He DJs, right?

He does something. Other times, Snooki just, like, is an idiot. She's not that bright. I've seen her on shows, but I guess she's not making money for her entire.

I mean, she keeps on coming out with stuff I don't think people would really buy.

Like what?

Snooki sunglasses, Snooki slippers.

She has no taste. So why would you buy it? Don't buy anything. Snooki mix. Because she has zero taste.

Oh, God. She's a sweet lady.

Lady. Whatever. Okay. A sex scandal put. Puts yoga instructor into an awkward position. Now, yoga instructors, ironically, are always Getting into scandals because they sleep with their clients or their yoga. Their yogis, yoginis, they always do this. This happens to me. I, I mean it's happened to me. I did sleep with my yoga instructor. Okay. But anyway. After accusations of multiple sexual indiscretions with his female students, John Friend, the founder, the founder of Anusara, one of the world's fastest growing yoga styles, is stepping down for an indefinite period of self reflection therapy. And personal retreat insiders were apparently well aware of his pension for women and his love of partying and fun. But when news got to the ranks of his followers, many were angered at what they saw as hypocrisy. It's worth noting that yoga was originally invented in order to enhance tantric sex. So maybe Mr. Friend was simply too avid a student of the art. There was a scandal in Oakland, California with some yoga instructor because you get close, you get hot, you get sweaty, you're adjusting. I mean, this yoga instructor that I had the hugest crush on years ago, I'd be like, please, please, please come over and correct me. Ca. Intimately correct you. You've never taken yoga. But they're like spreading your legs apart and they're like bending you and you get all turned on. And then I slept with them. Oops. But that was, that was a while ago.

Creepy yoga guy.

Creepy yoga guy. But it was hot because he was like my teacher. And I get why that happens in such a heated, literally heated environment. But whatever, he'll be fine. I'm sure he started a yoga movement.

It's funny because what, what's the style of yoga?

And Usara?

How many different styles of yoga are.

On a million different styles? There's like Bikram yoga, there's Ashtanga yoga, There's so many yogas. Bikram's the hot yoga. Have you ever been to that? No.

Hell no.

It's like 110 degrees in the room and it's 90 minutes and you always do the same poses. I used to be really into that, but now I do Ashtanga yoga, which is this different kind. And anusara, I can't remember what that is.

I eat yogurt. That's about it.

What kind? With chocolate chips in it.

Oh, I love all kinds of yogurts.

I eat yogurt.

Too big a yogurt fan.

I had yogurt this morning with peaches in it.

Really?

Greek yogurt is all the crave now. All the rage.

Oh God. Why are you like following all those wacky trends?

Because I'm healthy. I try to be healthy. What's wrong with trying to be a healthy chick in the world?

I'm just saying you wouldn't follow these tricks.

I wouldn't have my beautiful. I don't live in Michigan anymore. That's why. You know, and my mom eats Greek yogurt and she lives in Michigan.

Does she do Bakram yoga or whatever?

Yeah, my mom does yoga. My mom does pilates.

You probably call her and tell her about all this wacky stuff.

In fact, it was her yoga instructor that I slept with. Oh, I'm sure she doesn't know that though. Don't tell her. Okay. Jennifer Aniston is making a sex tape for not with Justin Thoreau, her boyfriend. So apparently she took the plunge into multiple nude scenes in her new film Wanderlust, which is coming out I think this weekend, filming several sex scenes and racking up hours of racy footage. None of this footage ever made the final cut of the film, so apparently she's editing together tape of her hottest scenes as a one year anniversary present for her beau and co star, Justin.

Well, I'm. I endorse all this.

You would, you'd like if a girl made you a sex tape.

Yeah.

Without you in it. Just like. Oh, I don't. Unless it was sex scenes with him. But I don't think it was. If they have sex in the movie.

Yeah, okay. Nevermind.

Never mind. Isn't. Have you heard about this movie Wanderlust coming out?

No.

No. Oh, you haven't?

I don't follow that stuff.

You follow. What do you mean you don't follow pop culture?

I don't follow movies like that. I. I want to know when the next Top Gun is coming out.

I know, I know. We just heard it was coming out today. They announced it.

Well, like leaked or something like that. When it's coming out.

Okay.

But I, I love comedies. Comedies are my, my thing.

What's the best comedy you've seen lately?

The best comedy that I've seen lately, man, it's. It's been a while. I mean I, I guess Bridesmaids. Since Bridesmaids.

Right? And they. Did they win anything at the Academy Awards?

No.

You knew they wouldn't.

The Academy will never vote for a movie like that.

I know. They never ever will. Yeah, I understand that. Because whatever. I didn't think it was that funny. I don't like, I don't like fart jokes and like shitting in the sink jokes. Like that's not funny.

Yeah, you're uptight super uptight.

I'm the least uptight woman on the planet, but I don't find guy. I find that to be guy humor. Like, oh, let's all be like that. What movie is it when they all go to Vegas? The popular one from a few years ago. Hangover. They're trying to be like, the female hangover. Just be the female whatever, bridesmaids. But don't try to be the hangover and shit in the sink.

Then what do you think is funny?

I think there's a lot of funny things out there. Smart humor.

Smart humor. Tell me about this smart humor.

I don't know. I haven't seen a movie in a really long time, but I don't think that that's funny.

How about a television show do you think is funny?

I don't watch television except for I watch the Real Housewives.

Tell me something in the history of cinema that you thought was funny.

I thought I told you that I thought Meet the parents. The first 20 minutes of that movie with Ben Stiller is hilarious. Have you seen it? Yes, it's funny.

It's all right.

It's the first thing that came to my mind. And there's a lot of old 80s movies that were really funny, but not a lot. Not a lot of funny stuff lately. I don't laugh that much. I mean, I laugh at my own stuff. I think we're funny.

Well, I'm hilarious.

You're.

Of course, you'd be laughing all the time.

Yeah. Okay. And just so you know, today's show, we are gonna be getting into some oral sex tips for men and women. We get a lot of emails from people about how to. How to perform oral sex. What's the right way, what's the wrong way with women and men? And we're gonna get into that a little bit.

Oh, I have a beef with you. Uh.

Oh.

I always see you on Gchat and I try to call you with. Because I have a new MacBook on the Gchat video chat, and you never answer.

I've never once seen you call.

I've called a billion times. You don't answer.

Is it my Sex with Emily Gmail or my other Gmail? That's weird because I would always answer your call and I chat with you every day, so why would you not? Something's wrong with your setup.

Nothing's wrong with my setup, honey.

I've never. I've never seen. Why would I not pick up your call?

I don't know. What are you doing?

I'm at the office Doing what? Fucking preparing for the show. Jesus Christ. Honey, I swear to God on my life, I don't. Like, go. Oh, it's menace. Ignore.

Yeah.

All right, let's try it. Try it again. Not now. Well, not now I don't have my computer with me, but try it later. I swear to God, honey. And in fact, I chatted with you today, and it said. Right when I started typing, it said, menace went offline.

And I was like, well, I saw you typing. That's why.

Really? See, that's what I thought. Jerk. Okay, last stocks of the news story. A cop nabs a pump party. Women for black Market butt injections.

Oh, my God. I've been hearing about this kind of stuff.

Have you?

Yeah.

So, Paige Winslow, a woman more commonly known as the Black Madam, has been arrested in Philadelphia for hosting pumping parties where she illegally injected women's buttocks with silicone. While many big booty enthusiasts feel silicone injections are something to get behind. Get it? The bottom line is that amateur silicone injections have caused several deaths and numerous injections in the past. When asked for questions, Winzo said that this arrest was a real pain in the butt. How many alliterations? How many? Okay. But no, seriously, she. Yeah, they're getting injections with. Their butt's bigger.

Oh, man. There's some stuff online where you do the butt injections where they were, like. It was, like, black market stuff where they put, like, cement in there or something like that. Some kind of, like, rubber cement.

Your butt is fine.

And it was like. I don't know how they even survive without, you know, getting all these chemicals in their body and stuff like that. But it was, like, ridiculously big. It was crazy.

I'm not cool.

I'm trying to find out how much Kim Kardashian's ass weighs online, and it doesn't tell me.

Can you just weigh your ass independently?

She weighs between 117 and 125.

That's it? Yeah.

That's not very much. She looks like she's heavier than that.

No, she's 36D.

Wow. She's fake.

She's 38, 26, 40. No, she has real boobs.

Really?

Yeah, because she says, you never want to see me with my bra off. Because, you know, girls that have boobs that big, they say when they lay down, they, like, they go to the side.

Oh, really? I don't have that problem.

They like the boobs, like, go under their armpits.

Oh, that's uncomfortable. I get a boob reduction if I had that big of boobs, I would cut them in half. I cut those suckers in half. Cause it's like having a whole nother accessory. You gotta always plan for how many.

More suckers you could get.

You think free car washes? Free everything?

Hell yeah.

Yeah, that's true. I guess I could start you doing the cleavage thing. I'm not a big cleavage chick. I mean, I have some boobs and I could make my show my boobs more, but I don't. Okay, we can move into some emails.

Size 27 jeans, by the way. That's what she wears.

That's not bad. I'm a size 24 jeans. Oh, I'm smaller than she is and I'm just big of boobs. Okay, thanks everyone for emailing us@feedbackexwithemily.com you can also go to sexwithemily.com and you can just email us right there. There's an Ask Emily button. You can follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily for sex tips and sex information. You can find menace at White Menace at all those places as well.

Yeah, follow me on Instagram.

Follow him. He loves the Instagram. Okay, emails. Dear Emily, this is about telling her she's beautiful. I do tell my wife every day or more often. We've been married four years and yet her way of telling me she wants sex is to get naked under the covers in the dark. I flirt with her and she ignores it when we do have sex. I'm never convinced she enjoys it. I've spent literally hours trying to get her at least to enjoy it with nothing to show for it. As I said, I'm always telling her she's gorgeous and I'm not lying. She is stunning. She's an 8 out of a 10. Though I personally see her as a 10 out of 10. She's my world. This is a successful headhunted. This is a successful headhunted professional. She is so nice and everyone who meets her loves her. How the hell does someone so successful get a lower self esteem than a bloke one step above a drifter? I don't know what more to do. Regards, Ben.

Well, thank God for her.

Why?

He was able to stagger. That's why.

Yeah, exactly. He's like saying he's a drifter. So here's the deal. Let me just give you a little bit history on this. I tell men oftentimes.

That they should tell their partner that she's beautiful a lot. I mean, a few times a day. Hey, honey. Hey, beautiful. You look great today. I like how you look in that. And menace is going to make a joke here, but let's just, let's wait 30 seconds before he does that because I know it's the ego and women. But women like to hear that you think that they are beautiful or attractive or I like your new shoes or whatever it is. We need to hear it. It's not just that we like to hear it. Like women need it. And yes, we have. A lot of women have low self esteem, but it's not just because of that. It's just, it's a way to connect. It's intimacy. And let's not. Women do a lot to make ourselves look good for you, okay? We get our butts blasted with silicone. No. Whatever we do. And so it just. I always say, tell your partner she's hot. But what he's saying is she still has low self esteem no matter what, and she gets under the covers naked. So one of the biggest issues that couples have is one of the biggest challenges to people's sex life is that women have low self esteem and therefore they don't enjoy sex because they're so insecure about their bodies. She had wants to have sex under the covers in the dark. And so I guess that telling her she's beautiful isn't enough. And I would say that you need to do some talking to with her. I would say, Ben, I would say, you know, ask her what's up. Ask her what's up with, with, with, you know, how she's feeling about herself. Maybe she needs a little therapy. Self esteem is not gonna be cured by someone telling you you're beautiful. You could be told that. You know, you always hear Hollywood actresses, you know, the most beau the world saying, I hate my legs, I hate my shin, my left shin sticks out funny. I mean, every woman's got it. But if this is really deeply embedded in who she is, who knows? Maybe her, you know, comes from her childhood or she never felt she was good enough. Maybe she needs a little therapy to get over it because it sounds like you're doing everything you can. She knows that she loves you, you know? You know, she knows that you think she's amazing and it's still not working. So I don't know how she. You're asking me how she got a lower self esteem? I would just say that it could come from, you know, self esteem is something that is not. There's not one cure all for dealing with self esteem, but a lot of it has to do with Going to therapy, discussing your issues. There could be things from her childhood holding her back. And that's what I just suggest. Especially if it's wreaking havoc on your sex life. She gets under the COVID it's naked, ready to go. To me, that would be the least hot thing in the world. Let's turn off the lights. And now I'm naked. And pump me right now, baby. Right.

I don't know. I think that he should just start cutting off all this saying, oh, you're beautiful and all that stuff because she just probably so used to it, it's not even special anymore.

Well, maybe there's other ways he could do it. Like, maybe there's other ways besides telling her she's beautiful because I've actually been together for years, that maybe that's numbing. Yeah, you could tell her that you're really proud of the job that she does at work. That you really like the dinner that she made. That you really think it's great the way she runs 10 miles every morning. Whatever it is. Maybe you need to compliment her in other areas of her life. Maybe she's struggling with certain things at work or she's not feeling as great about, you know, other things. I don't know what it is, but self Estee is sort of this elusive thing that it's very, very hard to get in. No matter how many times someone's told that they're amazing and beautiful and smart and successful, it's still gonna be there deep inside them.

That's why you gotta just flip the script on these bitches, you know, Start.

Telling them she's ugly.

Yeah, she's just too used to you telling her that she's not.

Self esteem issues, honey, she's under the covers naked.

Like, listen, whore, maybe throw on some makeup, you know, look a little bit better, doll it up.

I mean, how do you feel when a woman gets naked and turns the.

Lights off, off that gets naked and turns.

She's like, okay. She's like.

She like, oh, we got to turn off the lens. I don't know, maybe she. I just think like, maybe not about her body, but maybe there's like something missing. Maybe she got like a tail or something, you know?

Yeah, she's a mermaid. Yeah, maybe she's a mermaid. Something like that.

Maybe she has like, you know, massive birthmark she doesn't want me to see.

Maybe she doesn't shaved her pubes in a while.

Yeah, maybe she just has like a full on furby down there.

But I just want to tell You, Ben, there's nothing. It sounds like there's nothing, not one thing you can do. You can try talking to her body, you can try complimentary in other areas, but this might be some deep psychological issue she has and she should run, walk, not run to a therapist. Yeah, they can really help with that stuff, I promise you. Okay, so next email. Hi, Emily, I'm a new listener to your podcast in the UK and I love it. This is the first time I've checked out your website and didn't realize how much of a hottie you are. I'm a lesbian in a very loving relationship. However, I'm worried that we have turned into the lesbian cliche.

I'm a lesbian too.

As soon as we moved in together and got a cat and our sex life has gone downhill. As soon as we moved in together we got a cat and our sex life has gone downhill.

Oh, there's another pussy in the equation. It's C, boss.

They call it lesbian bed death. I am very anxious about initiating sex as I keep getting shut down. I've always had a higher libido than my partner, but it's just not happening at the moment. I've tried making special dinners, massage candles, but feel like my efforts are futile.

She knows how it feels to be a man now.

Do you have any tips for lesbian couples, Frankie from Bournemouth, Dorset? Okay, here's the thing, Frankie. I'm so glad you emailed me because you know, lesbian couples, they do talk about, have you heard this, the lesbian bed death syndrome.

Like they move in super fast.

What do lesbians do on the first date? Move in, Call the U Haul moving truck. So it is. You are living the lesbian cliche. But I'm glad that you wrote because here's the deal. Have you guys had any discussions about what really turns each other on? Have you asked, you know, maybe the things that you're doing, the candles, massage, whatever, doesn't working for her. Maybe she's got some fantasies that she hasn't shared with you yet. Do you know how she orgasms? Like, what makes her feel good? You know, a lot of couples, it's very popular to have. It's very, it's a very common thing to have mismatched libidos. And there are things that you can do to kind of spice up your mismatched libidos. You can try planning for a special event, do something together that, that is like adrenaline producing when you, you know, go jump off the, you know, go skydiving, go try a new sport together a lot. Sometimes Couples need that adrenaline, and it brings them together. And so I would say, you could try some things like that. But I would just start by talking and saying, you know what, honey? I'm feeling like I'm making these efforts. I don't want to be the lesbian cliche. And what can we do about it now? If she just says, I don't know. I'm tired. I'm not feeling it, then maybe she needs to go to her doctor and get checked out. There's a lot of women who suffer from low libido. It's really common. And the biggest. The biggest factor that contributes to low libido in women is stress. So what I'm wondering is, is she stressed at work? Does she have a lot of stuff going on in the office that she can't, you know, that she can't really discuss? Is she having family drama? Stress kills it. It kills your libido.

Are gas prices too high over here?

Gas prices are freaking high here.

Yeah. In the UK. Oh, my God. They're like $8 a gallon or something like that.

Is it really? Yeah, it is crazy here. I mean, like, crazy, crazy, crazy. So I would say for women, you could try hot rocks, which is the new thing that I'm trying to. But you need to communicate. You need to find other ways, like I said, to spend time together. Try something new and unexpected in the bedroom. You can buy my book. It's called hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. It's available on Amazon, which has really helped people sex lives, because there's 200 things in my book that you can actually just open it up to a page and try it. Like, just try that one thing, because it's not tricky things. It's like easy things that you can do. You can try giving them oral sex spontaneously. Just you make it a night about her. Make it a night about giving her massage, and give her oral sex. See how that feels. And another thing for. Another thing for libidos enhancing is Kegels. Kegel exercises are really important. I've got an app you can download in the itunes store for your iPad called Kegel camp. Women have talked about having longer, stronger, increased orgasms by doing their Kegel exercises regularly. So those are some things that I recommend. But I think a lot of this goes back to just having a chat because you don't want to be that next lesbian cliche. No, no. I mean, I know so many lesbians in that situation, so that's what I would suggest.

I was wrong. It's actually $10 a gallon. Over a hundred K. Yeah.

Is it? But then it's. Their dollar is double ours, so. What is that in US dollars?

Well, no. $10 USB.

I'm going broke, filling up my gas tank.

It's insane.

And now I'm going to LA this weekend.

It's such a boner killer.

It's a boner killer?

Yeah, it's a boner killer. You're worrying so much about gas, it might even stop you from going to having a date with somebody. Oh, it's just too far. Obviously you would not travel more than 30 minutes ago.

No way.

I don't even travel over the bridge to go see a guy. Yeah, but I, you know, I actually don't go through that much gas because my work is four miles from my house. But I fill it up like once in one, one and a half weeks. How about your car? Do you.

I barely ever fill it up.

You barely use it, right? Is it electric?

No, it's not electric. I have one of those new Scion IQs. It's the world's smallest four seater car.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, they're, they take care of me. I just have it for a few months.

Okay.

It's cool. That's a nice city car.

That's really cool.

You can't have sex in it though.

You can't. Have you tried?

No, I, I, it's not even possible.

There's no way, there's no way you.

Can say in the car.

I don't remember. Okay. Of course I didn't try to have sex. Okay. Dear M. I recently discovered podcasts. Hello 21st century. And yours was the first one I downloaded from itunes. You and Menace are always cracking me up and have made not only my drive to and from work a million times better, but I've started opening up more in the bedroom. That's our goal. I have two things. First, I just listened to a recent show where you were talking about birth control pills for men. You spoke about some of the better side effects of female birth control. But I just want to say all women should know there are horrible side effects too. I'm in my mid-20s and just got a huge blood clot from pills. It was so bad that I couldn't walk. I'm just saying if there's a pill for guys with no effects, they should relieve their ladies of that burden and take it. This is referring to a sex in the news story the other day about. They've been talking about this for years, but apparently there is gonna Be a new pill for men that they can take, and they'll just be shooting blank. And I say.

I say, I'll take it.

I say, what have they been waiting for?

Well, I'm on planned parenthood.org right now, and I looked up male, you know, male birth control. And they said that men have five birth control options. Abstinence, condoms.

Nothing else. It's like withdrawal.

Withdrawal method doesn't work.

That means pulling out, right?

Yeah, pulling out. I know so many people have gotten pregnant from withdrawal because you get precom.

Yeah.

And I would also say vasectomy.

No.

And a vasectomy. Is that really what it says? Well, because this was something that's being proposed that the FDA has not approved it yet.

Outer course. What is that?

Humping?

Is it dry humping?

I guess so. What is outer course?

Outer course. Sex play. Keeps sperm out of the vagina to prevent pregnancy.

I don't know. Where's six condoms? I don't know what to tell you. Out.

Of course. I don't even know what that means.

Well, Google that while I read the second part of the email. Second, you are always saying you should never disclose your number of how many people you slept with. And I totally agree. My boyfriend has made it clear that he thinks poorly of women that have gotten around, even if it's in their past. Something as simple as a TV show can bring up the subject. And then he starts questioning me about my past, saying he thinks I'm lying to him. Why do men do this? I swear, if we don't work out, I'm gonna tell the next guy to piss off if he asks my number. But for now, what can I do to him to get him to leave me alone about it? Thank you. West coast girl trapped in the prude. Northeast.

What?

What? She's from Arlington, Virginia. Okay, first of all, let me just recap. Menace and I talk about this a lot. You should never, ever, ever share the number of people you've slept with. It is nobody's business but your own. Don't tell your friends. Don't tell your boyfriend if you're a woman. Until your boyfriend. It's either too too many, too few. If you have slept with a lot, he thinks you're a slut. If you have slept with a nut. Not many. He doesn't believe you, or he thinks that you. You don't have any experience.

I've never seen a scenario where this helps the relationship. It just. It just makes them think of all those penises in the bed. They're like oh, you slept with 20 guys. Then they think of those 20 penises being your vagina. And they cannot get that image out of, oh, no. And you're asking me what you should do about it? Just say that's, you know, just, just. I would just say, you know what, honey, that's my bit. That's. That's my number. I like to keep it to myself. I don't share with anybody. End of story. Don't even go on about it. Just say no. I actually don't share that number. I actually don't. I actually don't talk about it.

And if they say, well, I don't want to be with you, they go, all right, fine. Because you're gonna destroy your relationship no matter what.

Can you tell me, menace, why do you think men are so obsessed with finding out the number?

I'm not.

You're not?

I've never asked.

I know you're not, but why are men so obsessed?

They want to know if your girl's a slut or not.

Yeah, exactly. But don't you think if the number was like three, then you'd be like, I don't believe her. Or she.

Well, they always cut it in half anyway.

What's the equation?

They say it times it by two.

Women say they cut the number in half minus ten. I've heard it. Yeah, but just. I would just say, you know what? He's not your guy. If he keeps pestering you about this. Ask him why he wants to know. Tell him you don't want to know his number.

Keep going.

Don't ever talk about it. Amy.

So I looked up out the what outer course means.

Okay.

And it's basically just making out. It's like no oral, anal or vaginal humping.

Making out and humping. Dry humping.

Have you ever had an orgasm from dry humping?

Almost, but not exactly. In high school, I think I almost did once. But you can have an orgasm from dry humping because you can rub your clitoris against his pants and you can have one. Yeah. Have you had a woman?

You get rug burn on your wiener.

I know. Well, we don't care about your wiener if we're getting off. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I know. Well, let's.

Apparently a stripper did that to my. To one of my friends.

She got an orgasm?

No, she.

Oh, he got rug burn. Penis burn.

No, no, no, no. She gave him an orgasm from a lap dance.

Wow. I bet that happens all the friggin time.

If she's like, really? I mean, I don't know.

How they do it, she's super hot and she's grinding her barely clad bottom on his penis.

Because here in San Francisco, I mean, the strippers are. They're all over you. They're like basically giving you hand jobs. Some of them are right. And other places you can't even touch them, you know? But here in San Francisco, it's pretty crazy. It was a San Francisco shipper that.

Wow. Yeah. I'm sure a lot of men get off on that. I'm sure. I'm sure that they.

You know, she did some ass move where she, like, clenched her ass with his wiener.

Over his wiener.

Like. Yeah, through his pants.

Oh, my God, he must have. Wearing thin pants.

I don't know. Maybe I should ask him.

I'm sure a lot of men get off that column. No, I'm just kidding. Okay, so let's move into the topic here.

And the topic is we're calling it.

Just the Tip just because we like that name.

It's the dumbest thing I've ever.

It's an oral sex tip.

Tips.

I get that Just a tip means just the tip.

When you say just a tip, what do people automatically think?

I know.

What do they think?

They think, just the tip. Just the tip. They think of a guy trying to force a woman into having sex and he says, just the tip, baby. Just the tip.

Just put the tip.

Have you said that to a girl before?

Just a tip. No.

Come on. When you were like 18.

No. Just a tip. No. I'd be like, hey, let me put it in.

Don't fall for it, people. If a guy says just the tip, he wants the whole shebang.

Yeah. The tip just ends up being the whole.

He wants the whole shebang in your bang and know you. Your pussy. Okay? But we got some really good information here about oral sex. How to do it, how to go down on a woman, how to go down on a man. Some things you should know that you might not have already known about oral sex. So I'm going to get into that now. So first of all, we should all know that the road to lasting sex, to having really good sex, is paved with, among other things, oral sex. But I think a lot of us could use some tips on oral sex, especially a lot of the men that I've been with lately. I feel that a lot of men can use some tips because I'm gonna give it to you guys. A lot of women are different. Every woman would, like, you have a hundred vaginas in the room and those women all want you to go down on them in a different way. Would you agree with Menace?

Yeah. No women. None of the women are the same.

They're all different. So a lot of it is communication.

Some people don't even want you to go down on them.

Right. There's a lot of women who don't like it.

Love those women.

I don't understand those women.

I mean, because they'll still go down on me.

But Menace loves those women. And I just, I'm perplexed by those women.

I know a couple of them and I go, wow. And I give them a high five.

A wedding ring, whatever five star restaurant they want me to take them to, I'll take them to. Right, Whatever. I mean, I'll do it.

But you hate oral socks.

It's not for, just not for anybody.

You hate oral socks.

You can't just. As a man, you can't just give that out, you know?

What do you mean? Can women just give out blow jobs?

Yeah, of course. Because it's easy for you guys.

It's not. You think blow. Do you think giving, performing oral on a man is easier than a woman?

Yeah, I'm sure it is.

You gotta stick something in your mouth, you gotta gag. You gotta come up with all the saliva.

You guys like it. You think you're sexy when you're doing.

How about all the women who get married and. And don't want to give oral sex anymore?

Well, those bitches should be thrown to the curb.

Oh, my God.

Divorce them.

So listen, oral sex.

These are trickster whores.

Oh, they're not. But there it is. There is that myth. And please email me because we have had a lot of emails about this feedback at sex with emily.com. if you got married and you stopped receiving oral sex, or if you're a woman, you stopped giving it. I want to hear more about that. Some girls, how's it all going down that you're not going down?

Some girls even bring it up like, oh, we're married now. I don't have to do that all the time.

I saw that on the Real Housewives of Orange County. They're like, really? You still do that? I know, okay. So it's always grounded in preparation. Oral sex. You want to be enthusiastic. I talked to, I've polled men. They always say enthusiasm is the number one thing that they want to see from the woman, that she's really into it. She doesn't want to be plugging her nose, reading a magazine and passionate about giving pleasure to your partner. And give them as much as you can. In doing so, they'll be more willing to return the favor unless you're menaced. And he's not going to return the favor. Studies have shown that oral sex is on the rise with younger generations, with more and more people thinking it's just as intimate as intercourse. And I believe that it is. I believe that a lot of times I might have sex with someone before I would have him perform oral sex on me. Because it is a really intimate act, don't you think?

Of course it is.

It's like you're like licking my vagina.

I am licking your vagina.

You're not like licking my vagina. You are licking my vagina.

So I'm just saying it better not look like roast beef down there or it ain't gonna happen.

Oh, God. Menace. Okay, so the study.

Don't be a whore.

There was a study that came out that said that many young women feel empowered by performing fellatio. They feel like it gives them a certain power.

Oh, yeah. You can have as much power you want all day. Go for it.

Okay, so there's a little history of oral sex that I found interesting. So did you know that heterosexual fellatio remains illegal in more than a dozen states? Still illegal. Among them, only Alabama offers an exemption for married couples. And this is just a funny little tidbit which I found very amusing when Charlie's. Charlie Chaplin. You know Charlie Chaplin, the old time. Yeah, yeah. You know who he is? Actor, comedian. His wife filed for divorce from him. She used California anti fellatio law to her benefit, suing him for damages for the times he made her go down on him. Those few moments of joy cost Charlie Chaplin $625,000.

Damn. Back then.

Back then. So when was Charlie. When was that? Like in the 20s, 30s?

Yeah, that was early.

Long time ago. Yeah. Okay. So after World War II, though, and GI's experiences with more enlightened women when they were abroad, blowjob rates began to climb in the US in 1948, the Kinsey Report showed that only 40% of men received oral sex. And five years later, just five years later, that number was up to 62%. So it really was with Kinsey, Alfred Kinsey, who started measuring sex in the 50s, in the early 50s that oral sex became more common and women started learning about it and performing oral sex.

So there are some issues with oral sex that we just gotta talk about. It's not too sexy and fun, but I'm just gonna share it with you because it's all true. True True. There are diseases you can get. You can get herpes, gonorrhea, hiv, hpv, hepatitis, and other diseases. So you can also use a dental dam. Do you know what that is? It's like a condom that's spread out. It looks like it's. Or plastic food wrap. Or cut a condom and lay it lengthwise against your partner's vagina to make your own dental damage. Or you can use a condom. Go with a flavored condom. There's thinner condoms. Like Lifestyle has a new skin brand condom. I think I gave you one of those today. Menace. They're thinner, so men can feel it.

Another thing is, and I promise I'm getting the good stuff in a minute. Be very careful if you have gum disease, cuts or sores, or you've any kind of oral or genital piercing in the last six weeks, because the piercing is an open wound and provides. Provides easy access for bacteria and viruses. So if some woman wants to go down on you and she's flashing you her new tongue piercing, tell her to tell her stick on a condom. Be careful. Okay.

I'm sure every guy will like. Yeah, hold on.

Whatever, babe. Okay.

Man, he had some pretty hot wives. Charlie Chaplin.

Did he. What year did it say that he was married to this woman?

Well, he's. His first marriage was in 1913.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, but Charlie Chaplin, actually, the original Hollywood is in Northern California, which is at Niles, California. It's near Fremont, California. So there's a lot of Charlie Chaplin history right there. Oh, you know that I grew up right next to it. So I'm very intrigued by this. And I can't believe that he lost $600,000 back in the.

I know. Can you believe that? For performing fellatio.

You know how much that would be? He would be like millions. Facebook rich right now.

Yeah, I know he would be. Okay. Okay. So there are some insecurities that come with oral sex for guys. They wanna know, when. When do you come? Do you spit or swallow? There's that whole conversation, like, do I spit? Do I swallow? I think the polite thing for men to do is to let your partner know that you're about to come. I'm about to go. And then she can make that decision. Don't you think that's nice? I'm gonna come. Yeah. Do you do that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, you know, not all guys do that. No, it's polite.

You know, you think you're with a chick that's, you know, been with a couple guys. You know, she's not as Classy as the rest. And then, you know, you kind of, you know, release your load. And then she gets all upset because you did that.

Well, did you tell her ahead of time?

No, you gotta tell her ahead of time, give her the options. Or she would just, like, swallow it all up. And not even.

Does it make a woman a whore. Are you saying that a woman is a whore if she swallows your semen?

No, I'm not saying that at all. All she can be perceived as a whore. Like, because there's fake whores out there. There's some girls that act, like, super slutty. And you're like, oh, yeah, you know, she'll just do whatever. And then you would think she would take a shot in the mouth. And then you do that.

Shot in the mouth.

You do that and she gets all upset. You're like, oh, my God. She's one of the fake ones.

You just gotta warn her.

Yeah.

A woman. If you swallow a man's semen, it does not mean you're whore.

No, it means you actually love men.

The opinions of menace are not necessarily the opinions of the sexual man.

I just said it means you actually love that person. And if you're a spitter, then you don't love that person. And you should.

So men might think that their semen tastes weird. And we actually talked about this in recent weeks. There's this new thing called masque gel strips. M, A, S, Q, U, E. The flavor lasts for 15 minutes. They come in chocolate, strawberry, mango, and watermelon. And women can. They're like Listerine strips.

Yeah.

And a woman can put them on her tongue, and then she won't taste the semen at all. Just an option. Nothing like this exists.

We had the person that invented that on the show.

Exactly.

They're from Santa Cruz, California.

Exactly. I'm actually meeting them this weekend at the conference. And they also say that kiwi watermelon. Watermelon and celery are all said to lighten the taste of semen. Whereas coffee and beer are believed to heighten the taste of bitterness. Dairy products are bad for semen. And if you have acidic fruits in your diet, like plums, blueberries, and cranberries, they're believed to taste, to have women think that semen tastes sweet or sugary. These are some of women's insecurities. And then we're gonna get into the tips. Women often ask, am I clean enough? Anyone who's given oral sex knows that guys don't always smell, look, taste so good down there. So it'd be silly to think that women do too. Our cultural tells us. Our culture tells us that guys are supposed to be a little gross, but ladies are supposed to smell like beautiful little flowers with no hair out of place. Which I think is unfair. Women have to be perfect down there.

It's all true.

Not one hair, whatever.

All true.

And some people just don't like it. A lot of women, you've experienced this, right? Women who just. I have friends who don't like it. They just don't like oral sex. They don't like it, they don't want it. A lot of men are uncomfortable with the idea of going down on a girl. So there's all these things. So these are just dumb things.

If you're uncomfortable, start off in the shower, do it in the shower, do.

It in the shower, take a shower together. That's the best thing, taking even this before anal sex, if you wanna do that too, like take a shower, scrub each other down. And then you know that things are clean and happy and that can be hot. Be like, hey baby, let's take a hot shower. You can give each other a massage, do that whole thing. So here's some tips for men when you are going downtown. So just remember that it's more than just going down on her. Don't jump onto her vagina or clit right away. If you jump right to the clit, everyone I hope knows what the clit is. That's where women have orgasms. The only purpose of a clitoris, and she can also have a G spot orgasm. But the only purpose of the clitoris is for female pleasure. The only reason why it exists from like evolutionarily speaking is it has a thousand nerve. It has more nerve endings than the penis. It's very, very sensitive. But women need to be warmed up. So this is where like the foreplay before the oral sex comes in. So you gotta warm em up, you gotta tease her. It helps to. It helps to kind of make circles with your tongue around the clitoris, like around both sides of it. But not go straight for the clitoris. Cause for a lot of women that can be painful. So caress her with your hands and just try to make the experience very romantic and sensual as possible. Possible. Remember I say this all the time with every sexual act that you have to start slow. Just don't go back down there with your face and start like licking away. Kiss your way down her body and tease her thighs and buttocks for a while. When you make contact with any part of her before you make the contact with her Genitalia. This will definitely turn her on. Before you start the real action, get close so she knows you're about to zero in on her, but don't give in immediate. So that's the teasing part that Menace doesn't get.

Yeah.

If you want to get teased, fine. I'll tease you all day. But when it comes to me, I don't want to get teased.

Menace doesn't want to get teased. But for women, we want to get teased and we want to get warmed up. So before you even remove her underwear, breathe hot air against it through her genital area. So breathe over her underwear. It's really, really hot and it feels really good. Breathe softly but warmly for short bursts at a time. You can alternate between doing this and kissing her thighs and stomach. I'm sorry. I think that is the hottest thing in the world when men keep my underwear on for longer. It actually bugs me when a guy, like, takes off my jeans and my underwear. I'd rather have you leave my underwear on, even for a few more minutes and touch me over my underwear.

Are we like 14 again or something? Are we like 10?

18. That's what turns me on. That's what turns me on. And it turns a lot of women on.

Turn.

So remember, don't dive in right away. Before you. When you begin to kiss and lick her vulva or her vagina, work your way in slowly from the outside. Start by licking the outer edges of the outer lips, the labia. Then very slowly spread them and lick and kiss the inner lips and around the vagina. Do this as though you were still teasing her. You'll work your way up to more intense action eventually. How's it sound? Madness. Teasing. Teasing.

Teasing Sounds like a lot of work to do. Me.

Okay. And you're still waiting for the clitoris. You're. We're not even at the clitoris yet. Jesus. Try to hold off.

Where is it?

Where is it? Try to hold off from coming in, and her clitoris is going to start getting swollen, so it's going to be easier to find it, because obviously you're doing all these things that I'm telling you and you're turning her on. Try to hold off from coming in contact with her clit for as long as you can, even as you kiss her labia and vagina. When you do begin to lick the clit, do it super soft. Super soft. Like. Like you. What you think is soft. Do it five times softer and focus on the clitoral hood just above the clitoris. Since most women prefer indirect stimulation. To the clitoris before they're fully aroused. Okay, here's another thing you can do. Suck it up. As she becomes more aroused, you can gently suck her clitoris into your mouth and flick your tongue over it. This combines suction with a must much faster rhythm. And women like that.

I have to buy you dinner and do all this?

Yep, all this. Don't go right for the clitoris.

What do I get out of it?

You might get nothing. You might get frigging oral sex after.

What?

No way. Yeah, you might.

Crazy. I'll just give myself.

Don't you find that a lot of women after you go down on that? Oh, you don't go down on women. But if you did go down on women, they would return the favor. And then keep your ears and eyes open. Listen for her reaction. You have to listen carefully. Is she making sounds? Is she moaning? If she sounds excited, keep doing what you're doing. Keep doing it. But when she's not responding and she's lying there like a dead fish, it's time to try a new stroke. You can also hum. Humming is really cool. You've heard of fellatio being called a hummer, but it works just as well if you close your mouth and hum against her clitoris every once in a while.

Can you do that?

Yes, I can do that.

Okay, so you gotta grab hold, grab hold onto her thighs and her backside so you can rub herself against her wall.

Against her. Well, I'm using different words here. Rub against her well, from there you can also reach up and caress her breasts. Place your hands near her mouth so she can suck on your fingers. So don't just be going down on her the whole time. Don't go from kissing her lips to kissing her vagina. Kiss all the way down.

You can be like rubbing her boobs at the same time.

Rub her boobs. Rub her boobs. It's so hot when men rub my boobs as well. I'm telling you, women love that stuff. Okay, Menace, you are not going to like this one.

Give it to me.

Get your whole face into it. What? You're not going to like this next line.

I could choke. I could stop breathing.

Someone once said that if your eyelids aren't sticky after giving a woman oral sex, you didn't do all you could.

To please her God.

Use your nose, cheeks and chin. Clean shaven. No one wants sandpaper down there. And move them around. Even if you're just using your mouth. Shaking your face from side to side, up and down will enhance friction in a Great way.

I feel like I have to go through those drive through car washes afterwards.

I know. I know. I know. But I'm serious. This is what you gotta do.

Oh man.

You can also use your fingers. Penetrating your room with one finger and making a come hither motion is a great way to locate our G spot spot. A lot of women need to have clitoral stimulation before G spot.

I'd rather just use my fingers. I can do all that with my fingers.

You'd rather just.

They're magic. Yeah.

Really?

I can do the whole thing with just the fingers.

How do you know?

Huh? Because I know.

You know. You got magic fingers. So you made a woman. You've made a woman orgasm through your fingers.

It's really common many times.

But a lot of women use lube and get your fingers wet. Right? You do that? No. You don't make your fingers wet.

No. Don't need to.

You need lube. You need to make your fingers wet. That's why you have to lick it. I'm telling you.

There's a song that says you gotta lick it before you stick it.

Really?

Yeah.

How's it go?

You gotta lick it before you stick it.

I think it's true. That's what we should call the show. Lick it before you stick it.

Yes.

Okay. Penetrating your arm with one finger. Making the come hithermo then. If you don't know where her G spot is, it's good to have some experience beforehand just penetrating her as you lick her. You can also alternate between penetrating her with your penis and pleasuring her orally. Also, it's important to maintain eye contact. You may lose track of what you're doing. But it's good to make eye contact. Give her a smile and look that says, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Even if you'd rather be watching the game.

I was totally wrong about that song by the way.

Why?

It's. You gotta lick it before we kick it. So mean. Hang out together. You know? You gotta lick it.

You gotta lick it before you can kick it with me. Bro.

Yeah. It's like. It goes like this. You ready?

Huh?

I like it.

We shouldn't make that the new.

We need a new. I think we need a new theme song.

Maybe I'll get someone to work on.

Okay. I've got so many more tips for women. But I didn't give any tips for women. Going down on men.

Of course. Whatever. Just here. It's really easy.

Go.

Just don't be too soft with it. And don't you know, use teeth and that's it. That's all you need to know.

So not true.

Yeah, it is. And then use your hand up and down. I got really good tips.

Maybe I should do this next week.

Watch a porno lady and that's how you do it.

Do not learn how to perform sex through watching porn.

Yes, you can learn fellatio through porn. Like how a guy wants to have fellatio done to him.

Use your tongue. This is for women. Now, going down a male. Use your tongue around the tip. What do you think about the tongue around the tip for a second? Not the whole time.

Yeah, I guess. Whatever.

Okay.

It's all these unnecessary steps.

Use your. No, you're wrong. You're wrong. Every man is tired.

Use your hand while you're sucking on it.

Some men don't like the hand. Some men want deep throat. No hand.

Okay, then just deep throat them.

Just let me talk.

Why?

Use the underside of your tongue instead. Its soft, silky texture will be especially sublime on the underside of the pain.

Penis.

Here's what to do. Holding the base of his penis and resting your chin on the underside of his shaft for stability. Place the underside of your tongue on the sweet spot and quickly swipe it from side to side like windshield wiper. The underside of your tongue is smoother and it'll feel better. You didn't know that. What if the oral sex you've gotten. Because, like, there's no such thing as a bad blow job. Probably. Unless she uses her teeth.

There isn't. And. Or she's just.

But what if she could take it to the next level and it rocks your world because she's using the underside of her touch?

How about nibbling your way up the side of his shaft as if it were corn on the cob? Little nibbles, not teeth. Taking the skin lightly between your lips and tugging gently. These little love nips aren't painful and are a great visual turn on.

I got a bad blowjob once and I stopped her. And then I said, later on I told her, I go, yeah, you know, I really want to.

Teach you how to give me a blowjob. And then she goes, okay, well, you know, you can't have to go down on me. And I said, never mind.

Oh my God, I'll pass. And then. What about ice cubes? Ice cubes in the mouth.

Whatever. That's a nice nonsense.

That can feel good.

I'd rather do mints, though.

I've got mints. Next. Papanel, Papinel Toy. But we gotta wrap up. Love everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Sex with Emily Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com thanks everyone for listening.

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