7 Dec 2025 · 62 min
Emily Morse and Menace talk sexual wellness products and Emily's trip to Vegas for a lingerie show. They riff on social media annoyances and celebrity gossip.
Chapters
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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
A girl's gotta have her standards.
Oh my. The women know about shrinkage.
Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?
Oh my God, that feels so good.
Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you will improve your sex life just by hanging out at the site. It just happens. It's weird. It's like that. And thanks everyone for becoming Friends with Benefits members. We so appreciate everyone. You get three shows a week and you get special attention to all of your needs. If you become a Friends with Benefits member, which is $4.95 a month, and you're supporting us, which we really appreciate. Right, Menace? Right. Happy Friday.
I know. It's Friday already.
I know. It's amazing.
Jesus H. Time flies.
Jesus H. Time flies. I know. And I just got back from Vegas, so I'm a little. I just got back at 1am last night.
I want to hear everything about Vegas.
I want to say everything about it. But first, let me talk about today's show. We're going to be talking about role playing. Your favorite thing. Because I was at the lingerie show in Vegas and there was all these costumes. There was hundreds of costume companies and whatever. And it just got me thinking about how role play is something that you can actually. I know you might be like, it's not really my thing, but. But it's kind of a cool. We're going to show you, like beginners, like roleplay 101. And then we also have some things about how you might be killing her sex drive. What guys are doing to kill women's sex drive. You think she won't have sex with you? We're going to tell you why. And today's show is also brought to you by Good Vibrations. Use coupon code gvemily15 for 15% off purchases@goodvibes.com. they've got amazing toys and we'll talk about all that in a minute. So, yeah, that's today's show and I'm happy to be back. I'm tired a little bit, but it was awesome. So I was there for the international lingerie show. I haven't been to Vegas in years. And I brought my assistant Kelsey, who's never been. So I felt like I had to, like, take her out and show her the whole Vegas thing. And we didn't go gun shooting, which I know I got your text. We didn't do that. We're weak.
We're weak.
But we were. Yeah, we were at the international lingerie show, which is all sex toys and lingerie. So, like scantily clad women and men walking around in, like, hot lingerie. And then every single sex toy under the sun and new ones that were just invented happened to be there at the show. And we just saw some really cool things. We got some videos. We took of, like, the most powerful vibrator in the whole world called Hotbox. And it was pretty intense. It's supposed to be the stronger than the Hitachi magic wand.
Yeah, that's for like 80 year olds.
No, it's just crazy. It's crazy. No, no, no. It's for me. They're sending me one.
I wanted to ask you. Okay, you went to the lingerie show and all that stuff. We can get into that. But what other activities did you do while in Vegas?
We did a lot of walking around. We went to a club at the Cosmopolitan. Have you been to the Cosmopolitan yet?
What?
Are you serious?
You tell me to go there? You stayed there. What?
I told you it's my favorite place. And I. I've mentioned that probably a hundred times. And we did a show together where I just got back from Vegas and explained how great the Cosmopolitan was. And now you just asked me have I ever been to the Cosmopolitan. And I tweet about it all the time, too. What?
I don't read your tweets. Are you tweets about it?
Are you that into yourself that you don't.
It's not that I'm into myself. No, no, no, Menace. It's that I have a really bad memory.
Show. I'll be right here.
It's not you that I don't remember. I have a very bad memory. I have early Alzheimer's, I think. I don't remember things. It's not that I don't pay attention. I'm sure we had a very engaging conversation about it. I just forgot. So we went to the Cosmopolitan, went to the Marquee and hung out. And we saw lmfao. We got into the press room. Somehow some guy let us in. And it was fun. And we ate and we walked around. We had a lot of comfort. We were there for work, so it was a lot of work stuff. I'm sorry about the Cosmopolitan thing.
No, it's.
Don't be upset. It's not everyone thinks I don't live. It's just that I don't. I have a weird memory.
All right, don't get upset. I talked about the Cosmopolitan in length.
But I don't think it meant any. I don't think it related because I hadn't been to Vegas in so many years, so I didn't see it. It's this new hotel in Vegas. It's like the hip place to stay and hit place to go for bars and clubs and all that. So it's fun. But, I mean, the people there. Vegas is such a melting pot of, like, America. Like, there's America. Then people are coming in from all over the world, and it's just kind of crazy. It's just always Monday night. It was like, you know, bopping Thriving. People running around.
Yeah.
Drunk.
I didn't get drunk.
Kelsey got drunk.
Yeah, I'm going back in May. I'm going to say this other hotel that's right down the street from Cosmopolitan called the Venetian. No, not Venetian. It's a Vada Venda. I don't know. It's a brand new hotel.
Oh, cool.
It's just like the Cosmopolitan. I love the Cosmo. But we were getting hooked up on this.
Oh, that's good. But it was fun. I was glad we went. It was good to see through her eyes because she hadn't been before. But we made a lot of you. We talk about all these like sex toy companies and all this stuff, but we like to meet everyone and see all the cool stuff that's being made. It was fun, but we didn't do. I feel bad. Like Kelsey was like, let's just tell Menace. We did go gun shooting because you asked us to go gun shooting, but we didn't. We didn't have time.
There's a place called the Gun Store. And if you ever go to Vegas, you just gotta go. Even if you're not into guns. I'm not a big gun person. I don't own a gun. I don't ever want to own a gun. But when you go to Vegas, shoot a gun. Just shoot a gun. It's fun, right?
We did eat McDonald's one night. Like 4 in the morning usually. Never do that.
Is controlled environment. Why not? McDonald's is amazing. People eat there.
It wasn't good.
So a lot of people eat there.
Many people eat there. I know. I just didn't love it. But yeah, it was fun. I'm just. It was just. It's just. It's a whirlwind and it's so hard to get from one place to the next.
Yeah, kind of hard these days. You got to walk over there.
Gotta walk the thing. You can't just get there. It looks like it's right there, but you gotta walk miles around to get.
Where'd you guys end up staying? Mirage?
No, we stayed at this other place.
Some other.
Some other place? Yeah.
Some hood spot.
Yeah, kinda. Yeah. But our hotel, the. The conference was at the Rio, which is kind of cheesy. On the Gold Coast.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Have you been there?
It's over by the Palms.
The Palms. We went to the Palms.
We went to party.
The Palms. We went to the Palms place. Have you been there? That's a new hotel. That's right next. It's really nice next to the Palms. It's very modern. And we went to party because it was like an industry party because I've been in the sex industry for seven years and I haven't been to any of these parties where all the distributors are making all these cool stuff. So we went to parties. Pumps.
That's cool.
Super fun. What'd you do? What are you doing? I guess I feel like it's the weekend, but it's coming up the weekends now. But I was just in Vegas, so I feel like I just had a weekend.
I was just back here working the whole time.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Yeah. What are you gonna do this weekend?
Going on.
And I haven't even thought about it.
Okay.
At all this weekend?
Nothing that exciting.
Nothing that exciting. Anything with you.
What's going on with the babes?
The babes? I'm not even thinking about the babes. I'm focused on work right now.
Okay, good. I got it. I'm focused on work, too. I'm focused on work, too. But I think I'm gonna hang out with some friends this weekend and go to a birthday party because I always have birthday parties. Yeah, yeah. And just work a little. Work on the website. All right. Good times. Good times. Okay, we've got a little bit of sex.
You sound boring. I promise you I will consume alcohol over the weekend. That I promise.
Okay, I'm sure you will. And I'll probably get some texts from you or something late at night, and I will consume. We're not boring. I will consume alcohol too, and stuff, and go out and have a good time, and I'll have great stories for you.
See, the thing is about where we live in San Francisco. We can just walk outside our door and there's something going on.
Right.
The city is so, like, small. Yeah, it's very small. Very. Is it congested? Does it seem congested to you? No, but I mean, if you walk outside, there's something going on.
There's always something going on, right? Naked people doing stuff, playing hula hoop.
You really don't have to make plans.
No, I never make plans. In fact, I have, like, a no plan policy on the weekends because I don't want to commit to anything. Of course. Shock. I just want to be open to experiences and whatever comes my way. So we'll see what comes my way.
You don't have any other crazy stories from Vegas, like, oh, we were super drunk and we're walking around at like 4am and we were there for.
Okay, okay, let me think.
Don't you don't have to make up.
I got marriage proposals from loser drunk guys on the street.
There's a new thing on the street, actually, that just happened, like, within the past two years. Anybody that goes to Los Angeles in front of the. The Mandarin Chinese Theater, whatever, they always have. All the characters are dressed up. I don't know what's going on in Vegas, but in the past few years, there's. Did you see all the people dressed up on the streets?
No.
Dressed up like, what?
Where did you guys go?
I was in Vegas.
Like, there's, like, little people. Vague. Dressed up as Elvis. And there's, like, people dressed up as Transformers and. No, but see, we live in San.
Francisco, so there's people dressed up as Transformers right outside the window, probably. We always got freaky people in costumes, but it was just like. We went to. Yeah, we went to the Paris Hotel.
Yes, Paris.
That's cool. We sat underneath the Eiffel Tower at the Eiffel Tower restaurant and had drinks. It was really beautiful.
That's cool.
Whatever. Sorry I didn't get wasted.
No, no, that's cool.
We kept saying that. We wished Menace was here. Cause we would go out with you and have fun.
Oh, yeah. You guys would have had a blast.
Well, we'll go with you in May, even if we're not invited. Okay. Yeah, that'll be fun. That'd be a good time. Okay.
Gonna go see Creed the night before.
Yeah. Where?
At the Palms.
Oh, cool.
May it just. As a joke.
As a joke. I'm sure it is a joke. It's all those random goes to die. Like all the old. Like, Carrot Top is all over. Like Vegas.
Like, no, those guys go there to make a billion dollars.
Do they make a billion dollars?
Oh, my God. Carrot Top is probably worth over a hundred million.
Come on, look.
Can you look that up?
Yeah.
Put Carrot Top net worth.
I just thought they go to Vegas to make money, like Celine Dion. But you see all these people who are big at some point now, they're all, like, in Vegas.
Yeah, because that's where they go to get retirement money.
Oh, that's a good point.
Yeah.
Okay, I didn't know that. I just thought Carrot Top, like, What the hell?
75 million. I told you. Shut up, Carrot Top. And you were a clown and said, he was washed up. He is 75 million.
But he was never good. He was never good.
He was never funny.
But people who go to Vegas are like, oh, Carrot Top. I know, right? That name. I'm in Vegas. We should see a Show. Let's go see Carrot Top.
Carrot Top is not funny.
No. Yeah, he was never funny. 75 million. If he can make 75 million, I should be able to make $75 something, right? That's crazy.
Or you can join the. The Friends with benefits for 495amonth.
Yeah, someone should join. I joined it. Someone joined Friends Benefits. We can make some money. We'd like to make some money here. And if you're enjoying the show, which I'm sure you are, and your sex life is gonna get better, I swear we're gonna get on to sex.
I go on that celebrity net worth all the time. And there's stuff that you would not even believe.
Really? Like people that you're like, really? They're making $100 million.
What's his name from the Matrix? Was the guy from Bill and Ted's. Keanu Reeves. I think he's worth like 300 million.
Oh, my God. I interviewed him once. That's crazy. Yes, I did. I have a video of it interviewing them.
Why didn't you bone them? And you could.
You know what? I was thinking that maybe we'd bone. But he didn't make a pass at me at all. I would have owned him.
He's worth 350 million.
Yeah. And he's the worst actor ever.
Wow, you're just like ripping into people right now.
He's not a good actor. Keanu Reeves do. What's up? You just feel like he's going to go surf.
300 million.
I don't give a shit what he's worth. He's not that good. He's not that good.
He's had a tragic life, too.
Yeah, someone died.
I feel bad for him.
Right?
He was. I know he's had a rough past, but even he was engaged and then he was having a baby with some chick and then she had a miscarriage. And then after that she died in a car accident.
Yeah, I heard about that. That was awful. I think that's about the time I met him. So he wasn't really looking for a relationship.
Yeah, but you said I could make you feel better. And I could probably spend your 300 in a heartbeat.
I could spend your $350 million, Keanu.
Reeves, and then kick you to the curb.
I wouldn't do that. I don't do that anymore.
I'll throw him an extra 50.
That'd be nice. Okay, we've got some sex in the news.
Okay.
Tiger woods porno swings into reality. Former tiger mistresses Devon James, Holly Sampson and Jocelyn James. I wonder if they're related. Have teamed up for a porn about their time with Tiger. So three of the women that he banged when he was married are doing a Porno called the Three Notorious Tales of the World's Greatest Golfer. And its April 3 release date coincides with the 2012 Masters. Woo. Getting it back.
Wow.
Yeah. So these three women are like, let's do a porn and capitalize on this.
Whores.
And it's totally working.
I can call those women whores, right?
People don't like when you call women whores at all.
Yeah, but Tiger woods, he's a whore too, so.
Right.
They're all whores.
Why are they whores? Because they slept with them? They weren't married.
No, but they're off.
Like, they're making a porn. They're making money.
They want to make money.
Dude, don't knock it till you try it. I might make a porn to make money. I never know.
Go ahead, sextonomy.com, check it out right now.
I'm gonna do porn tonight.
Just kidding.
Okay. Come off the pale to see if you still like him. Advised scientists. Advised scientists the birth control pill may have helped bring about the sexual revolution and influence female liberation. But new research shows it may have a rather dour side effect. Crappy marriages. Turns out that the hormones in certain oral contraceptives affect the type of guy a woman is attracted to. So if she was on the pill when they met, she might get a shock when she comes off it and ought to have a trial run with condoms or non hormonal contraceptives before she settles down. So the pill women are taking the pill and choosing the wrong mates. A survey of 2,500 women found that those who had been on the pill when they met their longtime partners reported less sexual satisfaction than the other women. But the pill users rated their partners more highly in other ways, seeing them as more faithful, supportive, and better providers. Overall, these positives seem to outweigh their less exciting stuff. So basically, women on the pill are picking guys they don't want to bang when they go off the pill. That's what it says. Huh huh. So be careful about that. It is true that when you're on the pill, I was on the pill for many years. That the pill does affect you. I never thought about how it affected men, but it's hormone replacement. Like, it affects your mind, your mood, what you pick, what you do in the world, how you want sex, all that stuff. It does affect you. It's a big. It's a serious drug that women take all over the world, and they're picking guys they're not gonna have great sex with. It's kind of a bummer.
What does that guy.
Pregnancy pill come out seriously, right? So the women can stop being like, I'll take it.
I don't care.
Like, they keep talking about it. It's like, it's funny because I only.
Hear women say, oh, guys wouldn't take that. And every guy that I talked to.
Like, hell yeah, it'd be awesome to take it. Then you have to do with condom. You still have to wear condoms for. For disease prevention. But yeah, it'd be awesome if guys had to take the pill. It's expensive for us to get birth control pills every month too.
Totes.
Totes. Okay, Megan Fox is president. President. Pregnant.
She's president. No, Megan Fox.
Megan Fox is pregnant. That's all I gotta say.
Okay.
Do you care?
I was about to say it was the only president that I probably would want to sleep with.
Yeah.
Do I care if she's pregnant?
I used to want to sleep with Bill Clinton.
Yeah, I'm sure you did.
Okay.
Megan Fox. Do I care she's pregnant? No, I've never really been into Megan fan.
You're not a Megan Fox fan?
No, I just. I like girls with some personality. I don't know her personally, so I don't know if she maybe has an amazing personality that I just don't see. But from what I see, it doesn't.
Seem like she's sparkling or bringing anything to the table. No, I'm sure surgery.
Sure she is. Why you gotta see? Women always gotta throw those little jabs.
She's pretty.
She's considered one of the most beautiful women.
I just saw something about her before and after. I saw something in one of those stupid magazines about, like, before and after, and it was like her before, and it was like this nice little girl from the Midwest or wherever she's from. And then she had, like, boobs and the lips and the eyes.
But notice, notice, fellas, anytime there's a beautiful woman make a comment about him, just do it. A. Just do a test. Say, oh, this chick is really hot while another woman is around. And they'll. They'll have something to say. A little jab. Throw in there.
Little jab.
They will.
Because I'm so insecure.
No, I'm. I'm. I'm just saying, right?
Women.
It's just life. It's science.
Guys do it too. They'll be like, you'll be like, oh, this guy's so hot. They'll be like, he's a douchebag. That's what guys do.
Well, probably because they are. Douchebag.
No, that's what you would do. If I said some guy was hot, you'd be like, no.
If you say Justin Timberlake's hot, I'll be like, oh, hell yeah. Justin Timberlake's the man. I'm not.
He is the man. Okay, well, I don't think all women give digs, but maybe some do, because we're all. We're insecure, but so are men. Okay, this one's for you, Menace. Not everyone knows what Instagram is. Not everyone knows what Instagram is. How do you explain Instagram? It's an app for your phone, iPhone.
Instagram. Imagine Instagram as Twitter with photos. Or if you're not on Twitter, assume you might be on Facebook. You know, your Facebook feed. Well, imagine every single Facebook update had a photo with it. That's Instagram.
Right? So Instagram is super popular. But it says a study came out. Instagram photos are officially one of the most annoying things on Facebook.
Yeah, right.
A recent survey found the biggest photo annoyances on Facebook and discovered that one fifth of Facebook users have deleted friends because of annoying photos. The top five photo annoyances on Facebook. Ready?
Okay.
Number one, images taken with photo apps such as Instagram. 61% of people think it's annoying. Baby photos. 58%.
Number one. That should be number one. Baby photos.
Three.
Obviously.
Obviously. Posed photos. 53%. Like, women like posing. I never.
I don't want to clown one of our interns, but she automatically has, like, the pose when you take a picture. I think it's hilarious.
Really?
I don't think she knows she's doing it.
Oh, which one? Huh? Which?
I'm not gonna put her.
Oh, come on.
But it's funny because I catch it, because every time she gets ready for a photo, she, like, gets in a position.
Oh, that's so funny. Okay, I didn't know that. Let's trash the intern.
But I. If I saw it on. If I saw it on Facebook, I wouldn't.
You wouldn't have known she was posed, but you see her posing?
No, I would know that they're posing, but I don't find it irritating.
You don't find it irritating?
Well, that's probably just chicks hating on other chicks.
Right? Well, obviously, Posed photos for. Number four most annoying photos is holiday photos. 46% holiday photos. I don't want to see people opening Christmas presents.
It all Looks the same.
You and your tree and your Christmas presents.
Yeah, I'm not really interested in it.
And then 32% say the most annoying photo on Facebook photos are food photos, which you love. Food photos, dude.
My food photos. I just got 50 likes right before the show. I showed some fucking grilled cheese sandwich.
Yeah, well, you're annoying, apparently.
Am I annoying? These people are stupid.
Your parents are number five most annoying person on Facebook.
Yeah, right?
I think food photos are kind of boring.
Yeah. Because you don't even eat food in your house.
Do you want to hear something funny? What Kelsey brought up when we were in Vegas, she goes, menace is my favorite menace. Facebook post of all times. I don't want to get this right. Was when you said.
Hey, foodies, everyone likes food, or something like that. What? Did you say it? Yes, you did. You're like. It was probably funnier than that, but you're like, foodies, guess what? Newsflash. Everyone likes food. Yeah, you're like. You think you're a foodie. We all like food.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What'd you say?
Yeah, you know, that's. That's how you break it. I didn't understand when you first said it, it was because you know how people say, oh, I'm a foodie, I'm.
A foodie, as opposed to people who, like, eat nothing. Right.
Everyone eats people. You know, not special.
Right, Exactly. In San Francisco, where we live, there's so many foodies.
Oh, God.
Like, everyone eats. She thought you're funny. I'm like, yeah, man, it's gonna be funny.
But the whole thing.
Go back real quick to the annoying photos on Facebook.
Yeah. Yeah. What was number one again?
Number one are images taken with photo apps such as Instagram.
No.
Why would be annoying to people Annoying?
It's probably maybe because they don't get it. Maybe for over sharing so many photos. Like, I know girls with the self portraits.
Oh, my. Oh, my God. That's what? That's number three. Obviously. Pose photos are probably self portraits.
Bitch. I know what you look like. I don't need 10 different photos of you posing. Here's my smiley face. Here's my sad face.
Here's my sexy face.
Here's my sexy face. Here's my half smile.
So women do that?
They just post all day long every day of the week. I had to unfollow a couple of them.
I bashed them on Twitter. I know what you look like.
That's hilarious. Yeah, I guess women do that. I don't do that.
I Think they just do it maybe for self confidence.
Yeah, it makes them feel good. They're like, let's doctor up this photo and edit it and make me look really pretty.
But look, if you're a woman that's doing that, everyone is talking crap about you. Believe me, right?
There's people cut down the photos.
Yeah, people are talking crap.
Yeah, that's true. I guess. I have a friend like that who, like, every day she literally went away for, like a conference. She went somewhere to New York. She posted and I'm not kidding you, 60 photos straight, just of herself. 60? 60. Like there was no other people in it.
No, no.
What does that mean? You think it's like an ego thing. They need the boost.
Yeah, but let me. Let me tell you something else that annoys me on Facebook because you brought the baby thing. All right, not to hate on babies, but. But this is what I hate. Not even the baby photos, but people like to post photos of the sonogram.
Oh, I know. I've seen that.
Stop it.
Right?
Not post photos of the sonogram on Facebook. There's the new, like, 3D looking ones.
I don't know.
In the color.
Deleted those people.
The color of the photograph is brown. Like sepia. Right?
Right.
It looks like a turd. People like. It's not a baby.
Your baby looks like a turd.
Don't look like kaka. Like a big kaka that you need to use some XX for. So stop it.
Yeah, it looks like your intestines or something, Right? We don't. We don't want to see your sonograms.
And I don't even want to see your baby afterwards.
What else are some annoying things that have babies?
Hold on. I guess I can go on a rant.
Yeah.
This forever. You are people that have babies. Just post nonstop photos of babies. Okay. Like, I get it.
Right?
Understand?
Most amazing thing in the world. Never felt this kind of love before. I have a kid, right?
But I hear when people have their second child, it's not as much.
Right? The second child always gets this. Yeah. Like, my brother has like, 16 baby albums I've won.
Really?
The second child is like, whatever. We've done this. We've seen a kid walk before for the first time. We don't care.
And what's funny is there's this super hot chick, she's out of Australia, she's on Instagram. She has like 35,000 followers, and she has a kid, but she refuses to post any photos.
How do you know?
Because she said it before, because people are like, oh, why don't you ever post photos of kids? She's like, oh, I. I choose not to.
Yeah, don't expose your children.
And it's funny because I know this one girl, she was huge online, and then she had a baby, and then she posts nothing but baby photos.
She had followers. All the followers just, oh, my God. Okay, so babies are not popular. They don't. I mean, I guess if your family members, like my brother, posted photos of his kids, I'd be interested, but that's about it. Not the rest of your friends. But you could follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Sex with Emily. And Menace is White Menace on everything.
And you can see all my food photos.
You can see all his food photos. Every time he eats, takes pictures of, like, Taco Bell.
No, I don't.
Oh, you don't?
I don't have one picture of Taco Bell.
Oh, sorry. I thought you would. We drove past Taco Bell last night and thought of you. Okay. Anything else annoying on Facebook that we would. I think that it's annoying. Well, I think status of your relationship. Status is annoying.
No, don't get that started.
Okay. We don't have to get there. Okay.
The only thing I have that I find annoying is, like, I don't know.
People that try to contact me that do not have photos on their profile.
Oh, yeah, I've had that.
I know some, actually, in real life, and they message me and they say, hey, what's up, man? Blah, blah. And they don't have a photo and profile. I'm like, what? What is wrong with you?
Yeah, I know some people who don't, too.
That's so shady. Like, I don't want to talk to anybody.
Yeah, he doesn't have a photo. I get it. I get it. I get. I totally. I've seen people like that, too.
Oh, you know who's switching gears real quick? You know who's in town here?
Who?
In San Francisco? Britney Spears.
No way.
Walking around. Yeah. Right outside the street.
Do you see her?
No. Whatever. She's over at the W. Doing what, Ralph? Taking a vacation in town.
Really?
She got babies?
She got the babies with her.
Yeah, but she ain't posting photos of them.
No.
Posting photos of her sexy ass, is she?
Yeah, I'm like the Golden Gate Bridge.
Or something, just hanging out.
Yeah, we should go to the W after this. Start down the street. Okay.
Let's have some cocktails.
Let's have some cocktails with Britney Spears. She's with her husband and the babies yeah. Or she's married, right? Didn't she get married?
Yes.
Or engaged.
Engaged.
Yeah, something that's fun. Britney Spears in town. Okay, we'll go look for her. Not that I care. Okay. I mean I care but I don't, you know. Okay, we've got some emails everyone. You can always email me. I answer your emails, give advice. If you're friends with benefits, member your emails, go to the top of the list and you can email me@feedbackexwithemily.com or you can just go to right to my website Sex with Emily and.
Email me there. This is about.
Took you a while.
You got home what 1am last night?
So you're pushing through.
I'm pushing through. Okay. Fetish. I'm a 26 year old male, I have a fetish and I'm curious to know what you think. I've talked to other male males who like the same thing. I like to watch women pee and sit on the toilet. Not into the golden showers etc. Just really getting turned out by seeing them sit on the toilet, legs open. Is this a wrong fetish? Is it weird? Am I wrong to like this? Love to hear your thoughts, Andrew. Andrew, totally fine. Nothing weird and abnormal about that. I think that's one of the biggest questions I get asked is am I normal? And the only way this is not normal is if it's like a problem with like you're like stalking women and you're sneaking into restrooms looking at women pee and getting fired from your job for that because you're going to the mall and you're going to the mall, yeah, that's a problem. But if it's like you're dating a woman and you're like hey baby, can I see you pee? And she's down with it. Nothing wrong. You're totally normal, you're totally fine and you've other friends who said they're into it too. I just feel like we all try to pathologize sex and say that like what we're doing is wrong or am I weird or am I strange? Andrew, you're totally right. You're totally fine. At least you know what turns you on. Don't have a problem with that.
I'll admit something to you Andrew, not that it's a fetish, but for some reason I just don't pay attention and I always walk into the woman's bathroom.
You do?
All the time. All the time. I think it's always on my phone and stuff like that. I'm not paying attention and I'll walk into the woman's bathroom. I'll tell you a quick story. I was in Santa Cruz, California, and I was with my buddy at a classy place called Carl's Jr. On the east Coast. They call it Hardee's.
I love Hardee's. I didn't know Carl Jr. Was the same.
It's the same thing. It's the logo. You can't tell. Anyways, never mind. So I'm in the. I'm in the. The restaurant with my buddy, and my buddy says, ah, I gotta go to the bathroom. I go, okay, cool. So he goes off and he goes into the bathroom. And I was like, man, he's taking a while. And I was like, I have to go to the bathroom too. So I. I walk in and somebody's in the stall. And I'm like, what's up, man? What are you doing here? You taking a shit? What the hell, dude? No response. I go, all right, F you then. And I walk out the door and I look, and my friend is sitting at the table. I look behind me. I was in the women's bathroom.
Oh, my God.
And a woman walked out of the bathroom horrified.
I'm sure she was horrified. You scared her. Yeah, but did you.
Once I was a Red Robin, and I was so drunk on the bed.
Did you go to Red Robin?
Hell, yeah. And I was so drunk off Long Island Iced teas that I kept on walking into the women's bathroom and I didn't notice. And then finally this woman just yelled at me. And she's like, that's the woman's bathroom, right?
Jesus. Notice.
High maintenance, biatch.
You get drunk and do stupid things. You're funny. That's what most people do. But Menace gets arrested. It's good times. But let's talk about this. What do you think? I think this is actually a good discussion point, is, do you want. If you're dating someone for a while, do you want to see her going to the bathroom? Is that your thing? Do you prefer she closed the door or do you not care?
I don't believe women ever go to the bathroom.
No, you're one of those. So what if she left the door open and she was like, oh, you could use the bathroom. I'm just taking a piss. I'm like, nope, you don't want to see it?
No.
Okay. I dated a guy who wanted to keep the door. He wanted to see me pee all the time. Like, he's like, oh, leave the door. But he thought it was a way of Getting closer. But I'm like, some things we should just leave private. It wasn't my thing, but, Andrew, nothing wrong with that being your thing if you can find a woman who's into it.
I don't know if this is real, but I've heard about this where women are, like, peeing.
In the toilet and then a guy pees in between her legs because he has to go to the bathroom, too. At the same time.
People have done that maybe to save time. I don't know.
I don't know if it's true, but there's been.
It's like a sexual thing.
I don't know if it's a sexual thing, but as you know, people have to use the bathroom at the same time. Like, she'll be peeing and then he, like precision with a stream through the legs into the toilet.
Like, that's.
Anybody ever heard about that? No.
No. Never heard about that. No.
Guess not.
Guess not. Okay, the next one is about marijuana and sex drive.
What? Is it through the roof?
Is it through the roof? What do you mean?
Go for it. The sex drive?
Yeah. Probably not, no. Well, okay. We've got stories about this. Dear Emily, I am now a Friends with Benefits member. I love the show. If I ever make it to San Francisco, I would love to meet you, too. Better not use names for this question. Call me Goat. That is my nickname. I raise goats. I raise goats on a farm.
Hell, yeah.
I know over in San Francisco, a lot of people are 420 friendly, which is marijuana. 420 is the best time of the.
Day to smoke weed.
Smoke weed. Yeah, apparently. But what does marijuana do to a guy or girl? Sex drive. Any pros? Any cons? I've heard it makes sex better, but I really don't think it does. Well, it kills sperm cells. I don't condone it, but we all like to have our fun. Keep the great work that you and Menace are doing. You two keep me going on long days at work. My sex life was okay before I started listening to the show. Now after about a year and a half of the show, my sex life is great. Thank you for all the hard work you two do. Goat from Lebanon, Mo. Is that Missouri or Montana? Missouri. Missouri.
Missouri.
So he's a premium Friends with Benefits member. So we're answering his email right away.
Can I give you a quick story real quick about a goat?
No.
Oh, God.
You're acting like me all add. I gotta answer the email.
He's goat. I can get.
Can you do it after?
All right, fine.
Okay. Goat here's the thing. Studies have shown that pots impact insects are all over the map from strongly sex inhibiting to strongly sex enhancing. But most people reported enhancement. It can create emotional closeness and physical enjoyments of snuggling. But here's the thing. If you smoke a lot of weed, a lot of pot, it can affect male sperm count. They say it can affect male sex drive. It can help men be. Men might become premature ejaculators, Women might have inability to orgasm. It's like anytime you overdo something. So maybe every once in a while you get high and it takes away your inhibitions, maybe. And that's why people say it helps sex, because you're not in your head as much. Maybe you can focus more on what's going on sexually and be more into that groove. But I think overall it has a positive and a negative impact on it. Like, it can make you less inhibitious, it could lower your inhibitions, but it can also maybe wreak havoc on your sex drive over long term use. If you use a lot of pot, I'm sure.
But if, yeah, long term, it will start spiraling down.
Everything does long term. Like if you smoke a lot of cigarettes, if you drink too much, it'll affect your sex life. But at first, like, people think, you know, oh, drunken sex is amazing. Like, menace thinks that. But.
Well, it is, but in moderation.
Okay, so what's your story about goats?
No, just gonna say. When I was young, my. My grandmother used to have a goat at her. At her house. She lived. She lived by the water. And they would keep the goat in the backyard. And the goat's name was Bumper. And this mother effer, the reason that they called him Bumper is because when you would walk outside, this guy would come up behind you and knock you over. And he would knock me over all the time.
Oh, the goat when you were a little kid.
Yeah, the little effort.
Face.
Maybe one day he fell in the water. I don't know. He disappeared one day.
But the goat would knock you over.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
Bumper, did you hurt yourself? Bumper the goat.
Yeah, I'll just like you just be walking. You just be walking. And then out of nowhere, this little goat, like a bat out of hell, just come straight behind your legs and just ram right into you and knock you over.
That's crazy. I know dogs who do that, but not goats. Okay, thanks. So this is from Goat. He's goat and he raises goats. Maybe he has that issue.
Maybe he can hook me up with a goat.
You want a goat?
I Would love to have a goat again. My mom has a ton of goats.
In Washington, but you never see her.
Yeah, and she has sheep and a llama that spits on her.
That's awesome. Okay, kissing abilities. Emily, how important is a guy's ability to deliver a kiss to you? If a guy kisses really well, does that make up for other things he might do? Not as he might not do as well. And as importantly, can a guy who struggles to deliver the kiss make it up somewhere else? Thanks, Jeff from Dublin, California. He's a premium friends with benefits member. Kissing is really important, but I do think that you need the kiss to connect. It's pretty important to me. But I don't believe that there are necessarily good kissers and bad. I do believe there are people who are good kissers and bad kissers, but I don't. I believe that a lot of times, like, it could be two people together that make a kiss really special. So I might kiss someone and think that he's a horrible kisser, but my friend could kiss him and think he's the best kisser in the whole world. That's actually happened before. So I think it has to do with. With the way you interact with someone else and how your chemistry is with this other person. But it is important. Like, if a guy and I just couldn't jive kissing, that would be a kind of a bummer. But you can also work on kissing by showing each other how you like to be kissed. That's kind of a classic, like, show me how you like to be kissed. I'll show you how I like to be kissed. And then we do kiss together.
So sometimes it just connects. You just.
Sometimes it just works. And it's amazing. But I think you. I don't know if you can make it up anywhere else. That was the second part of the questions. Can you make it up somewhere else if you're still not kissing, but you're, like, really great at oral sex? I mean, maybe, but I still think you should work on the kissing, because kissing is the first thing that dies in relationships. Men and women together for a long time. If you notice, kissing goes away. We're actually gonna talk about that later on the show. And it's something that you should keep going, because women like the kiss.
They do. I'm sure you're a terrible kisser.
I'm just saying you kissed me that one time on the show. What? Have you ever heard that show? No, I'll forget that we didn't really kiss. Okay, so that's A long story. So, yeah, I'm a great kisser. I'm a great fucking kisser.
So see how I was trying to throw that under the rug and not mention it? But then you're like, well, that's a.
Special show coming up soon.
We'll release that show. Yeah, I graded you and it was pretty funny.
It's pretty rude. I said you, I thought you were a good kisser.
Because I am a good kisser, but you maybe some work.
It was a little pressureful.
A little pressureful.
Stressful? Is that a word?
Stressful?
It's fun being here on extreme top 165 tonight. It was Friday and it is Friday. So this is another thing I've talked to you about though really quickly is Jimmy Jane. They make amazing sex toys. So if you're looking to buy something for your partner, if you use coupon code spring, you get $25 off purchases, $100 or more. And it's jimmyjane.com. they make beautiful toys. They make massage candles, which you have one of them and I think everyone should just go check it out. It's a great gift. If you're looking to buy a gift for your partner, they make the most beautiful toys. So you should check it out. That's what I got to say about that. And okay, we've got one more email.
I love it.
It's about squirting.
How do you make a girl squirt?
That's when the girl pees on you, right?
No, no, it's how do you make a girl squirt? It's from Armando.
It's still up for debate if it's pee or not, right?
It's not up for debate. Women ejaculate. They kind of jack.
I got some expert in here and they're like, oh, yeah, no, you did.
Not listen, it's not pee. It's totally different.
It's different because you want to believe that it'.
I know it for a fact. It's not urine. It doesn't smell like urine. Like, it's, it's, it's, it's from, it's from a different whole different place.
Where's the sack where all this liquid is being held?
It's in the vagina.
Oh, in the vagina.
Listen, let me tell you how you can make a girl's foot the vulva. You mean you can. The vulva. You can learn. You're funny today. Kind of. Okay, you, you can start by using your fingers.
Uh huh.
Okay, here's the thing. To make a Woman squirt and all women. The expert that you were misquoting on the show was also saying that you can make all you can learn to make a woman squirt. And a lot of guys are really want to learn how to do that. And I know there's certain vibrators like the Hitachi magic wand is awesome. And that can. A lot of women can squirt from that. If you want to buy that, you can go to AdamAndEve.com use coupon code EMILY for 50% off most items, and you can buy your partner Hitachi magic wand. And that will make or squirt. It's an amazing sex tray. But first you can start by using your fingers to play around and see what works. It's all about the G spot. So it's. You have to play around with the G spot. You don't need to head straight for her hottest spot. Start with some foreplay to get her aroused once she's turned on. This is when you make her squirt. You stick two fingers inside of her with your palms facing up. About an inch or two inside, you'll likely hit a round ball of skin. We've talked about this a lot. That is the G spot. Keep stroking that area with pressure, because the most effective way to have her ejaculate is by using your hands to manipulate the G spot. So it's going to happen more likely through your hands or through a sex toy than it is during intercourse, Although it does happen during intercourse for many women. For female ejaculation from clitoral stimulation, use a high prior vibrator on her. So sometimes from clitoral stimulation, like if you use something like the Hitachi magic wand, a woman can squirt, but it does come through G spot pressure. You have to. You have to explore your G spot. At the show, I got the most amazing G spot toy. It's called the magic banana. And it's this crazy. I should have brought. I'm gonna do a thing on all the crazy sex toys I saw, but it's really popular now. Good Vibrations actually ordered one, ordered a whole bunch of them. It looks like an inner tube that you stick into your vagina. And apparently it can get reach all these different parts of you that you can't normally reach, and it'll find your g. It's. Remember we talked about G spot locator? It will find your G spot. It's guaranteed. She gave me one.
Wow.
A banana. Magic banana.
Now for the squirting portion. Does Adam and Eve sell like onion cutting goggles that you have to wear?
No.
Like the eye protection.
No goggles. But they do sell sports sheets that can. There's certain sheets that you could. Oh, we found these sheets that we wanted to give you that. There's sheets that like that. These sports sheets that you can drip all over and do stuff to. I saw them at the show and I was gonna get you one. It's a. There's the sheets, but there's also, like, throws that are really nice. You can throw down, but they're supposed to seep water in. You can put on your bed.
Really?
So for. You don't like messy sex?
I don't like it being dirty.
Yeah. There's these throw like. It's like a night. It looks like a nice throw. Comes to different colors. You throw it on your bed like a. You know what I mean? Like a blanket, but it's fuzzy and cool and you can have sex on top of it, and then you can just throw it in the wash and then you could get into your bed.
Oh, my God.
Do you want one?
No, I'm fine.
But you won't take any of my sex toys. Whatever.
No, no, no. Levi's made these amazing jeans that have this fabric on it, and they're totally waterproof.
Really?
Like, if you put water on top of the jeans, you can just, like, play around with the water and the water will dissolve.
Oh, that's so cool. Did you get a pair?
I didn't get a pair yet, but I'm.
I need that because I spill coffee on myself every morning.
I swear to God, the coffee will just come right off and there will be no stain.
That's amazing.
It will just fall right off Levi's.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
They're always up.
Now that's what I want my sheets made out of. Yeah, I could just, like, push the.
But they make stuff like that. They make like, these things called, like, sport. They make sheets for. For people who are bead.
The water or the liquids will just bead.
They make that.
It's crazy.
I'll get you. I'm gonna get it for you.
Okay.
But you don't use anything I give you. That's cool.
Why don't you talk? You're mad because I haven't used a candle. See, this is why I said if you won the lottery and you gave me, I wouldn't take 50 grand from you because you would tell me about it all the time. I'm proving it to you right now. You gave me one of these Candles.
I'll remember that. That you won't take my 50 grand. You.
You give me one of these candles. I haven't used it yet, and you.
Bring it up all the time because it's amazing. Jimmyjane.com makes these candles, and they're massage candles that you pour. It's great for couples. It's a massage candle, and it lights like a regular candle. And then the wax pools and it burns cooler than most candles, and you can pour it on your partner's body and it turns into the most delicious smelling feeling massage oil that you rub into your partner. It's not messy. It's not like. Like how wax gets all flaky. It doesn't do that. It turns into literal massage. It's the coolest thing. Massage candle, go buy to Jimmy Jane. Use coupon code, whatever.
And don't get me wrong, I'll still take the 50 grand, but I'm just, like, dreading that.
I just feel like you're not experimenting with the things I'm giving you. I want to give you masturbation sleeves and all these things that you won't use.
Well, maybe I'm just happy with what I'm doing now.
I don't think you are.
Why you don't think I am? Because. What. Next thing I know, I'm using what is the most powerful vibrator out there?
Hot box. But the Hitachi magic wand is also one of them.
I'm going from the Hitachi magic. No, first I'm going from the candle, and then I'm gonna go to the Hitachi magic wand. Next thing I'm gonna go to is the hot box.
You're gonna be furry in that box.
And then I'm gonna invent my own, which I've been working on lab in Japan, which is the dump truck. And then the dump truck is gonna get released, and then I'm just gonna get no sexual pleasure after.
What is the dump truck?
It's the sexual device that I'm working on.
Oh, my God. You're working on a sexual device. You're the last person that should work on a sexual device.
I have scientists in Japan working on it.
Shut up, menace. Speaking of sexual device, though, my app, Kaggle Camp, you can buy it in the itunes store. Kaggle exercises are good for men and women. And I have to say that at the show, at this lingerie show, there was tons of all these exercise balls and stuff that you can put in your vagina or you can use them to. Men can use do Kegels. Too. Helps them improve their sex life. And you should download my app and do more Kegels. But they have all these toys now that you can use to do your Kegel exercises. I just. Because that's something that I invented.
The Kegel exercise does not tighten your vagina. I found out last week.
It doesn't.
What, tighten your vagina?
No, I didn't tell. You asked if it did. I said it helps you have longer, stronger orgasms. And the muscles can clench more. Yeah, I can clench. If I do Kegels and we're having sex, I can clench those muscles around your penis like a grip.
Cool, cool.
So there's that, but it's not like that. My vagina shrunk.
Yeah, download it. And you are working on Android because people ask you about.
I know I'm gonna do it on Android, but right now it's an iPhone. And I'm also doing another app, which I can't tell you about yet.
What?
Yep, doing another app.
You're just app crazy.
I'm app crazy. Oh, my God. And I've got another one. 101 sex tips from Sex with Emily. Okay, we're gonna move into our show topic role playing. All right. It's your favorite topic.
It is. Because I always came. I come up with these amazing role playing themes and you don't seem to be down with them at all.
I don't want to dress up as a Hamburglar from McDonald's. No, I don't. I don't. Magnus wants me to dress up with hamburger or Wendy from Wendy's.
And I just said, if the man of your dreams, he's totally perfect, everything you ever wanted. And then one night he comes to you and he's like, I want you to dress up as the hamburger from McDonald's. Would you do it? And you said no to the man of your dreams.
Well, I think about it, and if that was really got him hot, like he got a big boner because I was dressed up that friggin Hamburglar with those crazy teeth and glasses or whatever he wears Aviator. Does he wear like the. This flying glasses? Yeah, I know. He's a burglar.
He's a burglar. Yeah.
So his burglar eyes, he.
No, he has like a bandana around his eyes or something.
Whatever it is, I mean. Fine, fine, fine.
Okay.
Because that's all role playing is about. That's what we're getting. Why to do it, why you should role play.
What about if he said, I want you to dress up as the Octo mom. Like, he was like. For some reason, he really thought the octo mom was, like, really hot when she was pregnant. So you would have to dress up as the octomom.
A pregnant octomom?
Yeah, to make him hot. What do you think about that?
Well, then I wouldn't feel hot, so I would need to feel hot, too. That's the thing about role playing. You both need to feel hot. The octomom.
But he threw, like, hundred dollar bills at you at the same time. Oh, did you think that?
How many $100 bills?
At least five.
Yeah.
500 bucks. Dude, money's tight these days. Come on. Okay, so I. So anyway, in Vegas was international lingerie show, but they also. It was in conjunction with the Halloween show. So it was like. It was a huge. But you know, Vegas is the convention center. There was ballrooms and ballrooms of just Halloween costumes and clothes. It's all the retailers or all the wholesalers, whatever, they're the retailers who are trying to sell to wholesalers, whatever. So I saw all these costumes, and it made me think about role playing. Cause I like, there's all the schoolgirl uniforms. There's like a hundred schoolgirl uniforms and nurses uniforms and all the stuff that we. A lot of people in San Francisco dress up all the time. There's a lot of theme parties that happen.
Or they're just naked on the street, but couples.
They're just naked on the street, but people can do it. Because most times sex happens without any preparation or planning. Most of the time, sex is just like, whatever, we're just gonna bang. But role playing takes a little bit more planning.
I saw a guy with a kilt on the way over here.
Right.
Would you think that was hot?
No.
Okay.
Unless he was doing it for something.
But yeah, he can, like, pull up to kill it real fast and he can have sex.
Yeah. Like women in skirts. Do you like having sex with women in skirts? It's kind of hot.
Yeah.
Does every guy like that fantasy?
Yeah, they do.
Is that what they do?
Yeah. Or they don't. Like, oh, you're not wearing any underwear. Okay, let's have sex real quick.
That's hot.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
No. Right? You agree?
Yeah.
Oh, my God. Very rarely do you think that things are hot that are hot. Okay. With sexual role play, this never happens because, you know, you're part of an act that will eventually end with sex. So it's not as random with sexual role play. The whole time, you're thinking about nothing but sex, and you're Getting aroused thinking about it, and you can't wait to pounce on your mate. So the benefits of role playing, they give you and your partner the chance to open up to each other. It challenges you to communicate your feelings. So it's just something different you can do to spice it up, Right? You might be surprised at your own actions or your partner's during role play and discover an unknown turn on. Maybe you really enjoy being dominated so you could be tied up and have like a leash on you or something, like a dog. Role playing also allows you to try new positions without having to bring up the topic bluntly or awkwardly. So you got to ease into it, right? So you got. If you're unsure how to raise a subject, try hints. These are how you ease into role play. You would look so sexy in something like that when you pass a lingerie store when you're with your girlfriend or your partner. Or I'd like to put cuffs on you tonight when you see a cut, when you see a cop. And great ways to plant the first seeds of a healthy dose of roleplay when you're watching a movie together. If you both connect with the characters, talk about them and what their sex life would be like, imagine yourself in that position. So you use humor and use conversation around, like, everyday items to figure out what you are into and what would turn you on.
So, okay, give me a role playing scenario.
Okay, so a role playing scenario would.
Be for you that you think would be hot, not one that I made up as you dressed up as a lobster or something.
I've got all these common things. I like the school. I've got a really hot school gore uniform. I bought it. I made it, actually. It's one of these cute little, like.
You knit it short.
I knit it. I sewed it. No, I did sew part of it, but it's just so. It's one of those little. It's so cliche, but that's a really common one. The little schoolgirl thing with the thigh highs and the tight. So I'd be into that, like, if a guy was like, will you wear that? Like, I actually got it because it was a guy who's dating. He's like, I love the school girl thing. So I like, made this whole outfit and it was hot. Like, I. I think that couples just don't take the time. They've been with their partner for a while and they're like, yeah, that'd be hot to see her dressed up. But they don't do anything about it. Guys don't do anything about, like, buy her something, take her shopping. You guys are probably always walking through the malls that have crazy costumes. Like, you look really hot in that. And that's a way women want to feel hot. Guys know what turns them on. So this is a way to role play and dress up and do something fun together. So I think I'd like the school girl. There was the hottest nurse's uniform at this lingerie show that was just super cute white little shorts and little things. And I just thought I would look very cute. And I wanted to buy like every costume. But I don't do it either because I'm. I feel like even my guy I've been with, I don't know that he is even into it, but maybe he is. I should talk about it. And it's awkward. You feel like it's awkward to be like, roll like, you know, we're really gonna do that. I'm gonna be the pizza delivery boy and she's gonna be the woman answering the door. But it works. Spices it up.
You should just totally like, you know, you're at your house, you're watching TV and say, hey, I'll be right back. And then you, you walk off.
Paint yourself completely blue like Avatar, and then walk right back into. Into the living room and see what he says. You might think it's hot. I think it would be hot.
Well, they were selling all this latex paint at the festival that people were walking around naked with little latex over their bodies. That'd be hot. It'd have to dry. I don't think it would. Yeah, I could.
Maybe it's quick drying paint or something.
Quick drying paint? Blue paint. I like it. What would you want some woman to dress up as?
What would I want her to dress up as?
Be serious now.
Being serious. I.
What's hot?
My favorite thing, you know, is the.
Tall socks. The really tall socks.
Oh, right. You love the tall socks.
I love that. I love that.
That comes along with the schoolgirl.
No, you guys, those are like more like pantyhose type ones. I'm talking about like the real deal socks and then some short shorts in the tank top. I like that.
That's cute.
That's hot. Not too crazy.
No, but that's hot. You know what? Every guy has a thing that they think is hot. Something that makes her feel sexy.
You know what's super hot?
What?
Is when they wash the dishes.
That's what women say about men. Men who do housework. Turns them on.
Turns me on like crazy.
Yeah.
And when they do my laundry. Oh, my God.
Really? Does it really make you want a banger, though?
It makes me.
You're like, oh, my God, my socks have never been so white. Come over here and you pull her on your lap.
This is the least I can do for all the work she's done.
Oh, my God. Okay.
Is please her.
Yeah, that's true. Okay. Cracking a joke about a weird request you have or how silly you feel for even thinking of such a thing is a great way to make your partner feel comfortable about a situation they may initially feel uneasy about. So you can joke about and be like, I think you'd be really hot.
I want to dress up as the Blues Brothers.
Yeah. Do you? I used to love the Blues Brothers.
So you got to make it fair. You got to. The last thing you want to do is show up at her door with a blonde wig and a cheerleading outfit for her and nothing for you. So the guys kind of got to get into it too. I know. So it's not. You have to deal with your insecurities because a lot of people are insecure about role playing. Right. This isn't about giving an Oscar worthy performance. It's about having fun. So don't feel compelled to stay in character the whole time. Be spontaneous and improvise. Even if you just dressed up and had good, cool sex, that would be great too.
I want you to dress up as Paris Hilton.
That's easy. I have a friend who did that a few years ago. Really? Do you think she's hot?
No, I don't.
No.
But she's a nice lady.
You can dress up as her very easily, though. They had all these models that kind of looked like Paris Hilton at the thing. Like there's like a look.
Yeah, Paris Hilton gets a lot of flack, but she's nice in real life.
Yeah, I've met her. She's sweet. Okay. Yeah, I met her too. Whatever.
Whatevs.
The key is to be confident and never forget that you're. You're the one getting her off, not your character or someone else. So you gotta set a date. If you're gonna do some role playing. Agree on a scenario beforehand where you both understand your roles and preparation. What will you need? Handcuffs or a video came.
So you could. Some of the things you could do some beginner scenarios to get you started with role playing. Bartender. When she comes home from work, you play the bartender. Let her tell you about her day while you make her drinks and offer advice and continuously flatter her. Women love flattery when she offers buy you a drink, tell her that you have to go to the dance floor and do a sexy dance for you first. But then she'll probably be tipsy enough to follow through with no questions asked. If she tries to kiss you or touch you, play hard to get, and inform her that you can't mix business with pleasure. Like, it's like that. Playing that. Like, I'm the bartender and you're the thing. And you could do that at your house. That'd be kind of fun. Couples think. They think that you'd laugh at it, but I think it could be fun. That would be hot. I would just like a guy to tell me that he thinks that something is hot. He's like, you'd be hot in that. I'd be like, I'm gonna go wear that right now.
Put it on.
Put it on. Okay. Then there's the stripper customer.
Oh, no.
Any woman can pretend to be an exotic dancer, and any men can play a spectator or vice versa. Build on experience you've had in strip clubs and follow the rules, tip generously, and while she can touch you, you can't touch her lap dance. That wouldn't turn.
You know what would turn me on is a woman that was wearing some Hermes boots that she bought herself.
Really?
Yes. That would really turn me off.
Okay, that's.
Anybody knows what those are? That's probably, like, how much, you think?
Thousand dollars for the boots.
A thousand. For way more than that, 2,000. They're bad.
Oh, Hermes, their handbags are 10,000, so I don't know what their boots are.
I don't even know if the boots. Probably, like, six, seven.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. Vegas. I wanted to buy everything.
The Christian Louboutin stores.
Oh, my God. Yes. I had. I started hyperventilating.
Yeah.
I love Christian. Oh, my God. Those are really cool. They're like, seven, eight inches.
Not that I'm a foot fetish guy, because I'm not at all, but I can appreciate the, like, the detail that of these shoes that we're talking about, the Christian Louboutins, Google them. Them. They're, like, crazy awesome.
Yeah.
They. For guys. You're gonna look super cool if you know about these shoes.
Yeah.
And they're called the red bottoms.
They have the red bottoms, and they're making them for men now. Some guy told me.
Yeah, yeah. They had a selection there, and they're, like, a grand for.
Yeah, they're, like, ugly.
They're hideous.
I want a pair so bad. I don't know what I wear. San Francisco, you got all the hills, but it's like they're like seven inch hills and they're hot. So if a guy like I like when a guy, I'm with a guy and he's like, that's so hot. Leave your heels on. Like if we're having sex, he's like, leave your shoes on or lift up your skirt like that. All that stuff is super hot.
I think the, the, the boots that go up to the knees are super hot. Not the ones that go over the.
Knees because they look. Gimmick curls. Look stumpy.
It looks stumpy. It looks like you're gonna go fly fishing somewhere in front of the Grand Tetons.
Yeah, exactly.
In Wyoming or something.
Yeah.
You know, do not, do not wear the one.
I don't think they're hot either. I don't think those are hot either. And I had a pair once I got rid of them, they weren't good.
Do you know what's also not hot, which is this super high waist, high waisted jeans?
Yeah, they're not attractive.
Not attractive all. Were they popular in 70s or something like that? Maybe not hot. It looks like you have a fupa. You know what a FUPA is?
No, no.
FUPA is.
Are you gonna offend someone right now?
No, no, I'm not gonna offend anybody. I just, I just want to be able to say it in a classy way. But I mean the FUPA way is the classy way to say it. But to break it down, what it is, it looks like you have a lot of, of vagina fat around, you know.
Oh, God. And this is for what? What were you talking about?
Wear the high waist.
Oh yeah, you got. Show your vag.
You have a lot of fat in front of your vagina.
That's what it looks like if you wear.
Okay, I'm just gonna say fat people are like, oh, she has so much. That's a food.
Oh God. I never heard that.
Yeah. And guys are saying that to all the women that are walking by that, that wear those jeans. They don't think they're hot. It's only other women that thinks that stuff is hot.
I know, I don't care, right?
Guys don't care about the handbag that you're wearing.
I know, guys really don't care. But we feel. But we. Here's the thing.
You just want to show off the other chest. No, no, no, no.
We feel sexier, hotter if we're wearing something nice that we covet and we feel good and then once we get it. So it's not even about. It's about us feeling more confident with things like that, with nicer shoes or nicer bags. I'm saying most women, it's not just to impress other women. It's to make ourselves feel good. Like why you wear certain your glasses or whatever, they make you feel sexy.
They do make me feel sexy. I feel sexy right now.
On Friday, I'm gonna leave here and.
Go to the bar.
Are you? I can't wait to leave and go to the bar.
I'm gonna say, hey, girl, look at my glasses. I'm feeling sexy right now.
Exactly. Well, that's why men choose what they wear. Women choose what they wear. This makes you feel sexy. Okay, there's the porn star and director. If you want to make your own home film, be a porn director filming his favorite actors pleasuring herself. Give her very precise directions and make sure she has a real orgasm. Viewers can always tell when it's fake.
You are against this. Why are you even talking about it?
Why am I against what? No, you don't have to make, but you can be a porn director. I'm talking about role playing and different scenarios that you can do.
Yeah, but there should be a camera involved if you're doing the porn.
But you don't have to have a camera involved. You can just pretend you're a porn director. You could tape it, but then you should demolish it after. Unless you want to end up like every other person with sex tape. Although a lot of them make a lot of money. So. Okay. Older man, younger woman. Play an older experienced man teaching a shy young woman the art of sex. Be a firm guide and teach her everything you know. It's a popular role play scenario. Employee, boss. Be the stern boss and teach your employee a lesson in leadership. Sexual tensions run high at the office and it will come to a head for the two of you. Oh, I saw some cute of the. Some cute of those hot like work business attire uniforms with the Thai women. Thai sexy things. I should have bought some stuff. Patient, doctor. Play the doctor that gets seduced by his lascivious patient. Or the flustered sex therapist unsuccessfully trying to cure a nymphomaniac.
Ooh, those nymphomaniacs. They're uncurable.
Exactly. Teacher, student. If you like authoritative roles, play a teacher who punishes his troublemakers. This would be for me in my schoolgirl uniform. Who punishes his troublemaker student or suggests a new way for your student to get off easy for What? She's done. Get it. Get off easy.
You want an A?
You want an A? You better suck my.
My wiener.
My thermometer. My thermometer. My ruler. Cop. Thief. Let her be the cop who nabs you. The thief. Think up a creative way to get the beautiful cop to see. Set you free as far as you want.
I like. I like the hot cop.
They had those, too. That with the glasses and the thing and coming out.
If we're talking about, you know, Halloween, you know, where they just.
Halloween costumes. Right.
Hot cop. Always hot. The boxer is kind of hot, too, when girls, you know.
Right.
Wearing wife beaters and then boxing shorts.
Oh, yeah, that's cute.
The French maid. Not hot anymore.
French maid. Not hot. French maids. Played out. I agree. Cheerleader, Cheerleader.
It's getting to be a little bit played out, but not too bad.
No, it's still a short skirt and those high socks.
Not to offend anybody that I went to high school with, but the cheerleaders is not up to par.
They weren't that cute at your high school.
Except for one. Except for one.
That's such a bummer.
Except for one. She is super hot, and she's on the Denver Bronco cheerleading team.
Oh, really?
Yeah. So. Of course, yeah.
She.
She is worthy of being a cheerleader.
Right? I was never a cheerleader, but the cheerleaders in my high school were hot. And they were the cool girls. I mean, I was cool, but I was not a cheerleader. I was more fringe.
Fringe.
I was more friends with everybody. That girl.
Oh, yeah. You're just middle ground.
No, it's cute. Middle ground.
Yeah, but I'm just saying.
Middle ground. Friends with everyone.
Not a cheerleader.
Not a cheerleader.
You were a nerd, but you weren't, like, super popular.
No, I was super popular.
Oh, are you?
But I wasn't a cheerleader. But all the cheerleaders were the most popular. But I was. I was popular.
What level of popularity? No one's checking.
No one's checking. Okay. Cop thief. Let her be the cop. Oh, you said that. Okay. Go as far as you want to. If you feel as though the scenarios don't feel right, try switching roles. You may feel more comfortable in a submissive role and your woman might enjoy being the grasshopper. A lot of men have fantasies about being submissive, and they don't ever play them out. They're like, I think it'd be cool to be dominated. So this is a good place to do it. You could do role playing and have that scenario where you are being dominated. You can say, let's, let's reverse this, honey.
I would like to play bank robber where you just give me all your ATM cards and everything and you're just.
Gonna steal my money.
Liquid liquidate you.
That sounds awesome.
That would be awesome, right?
Yeah, that would be really hot. I would love that.
So hot.
That would be great.
Love that. I'm gonna try that next time.
That's good. These are all good ideas for this weekend take. And at the end of the day, if you want to plan a whole scenario, take your girlfriend boyfriend shopping and go pick out some fun outfits that you both feel fun and go home, play with them. Just something different to do to have hotter sex.
Yeah.
Which is what we're all about here at Sex with Emily. One more thing about how to sex. Real quickly, I have to mention hot rocks. HotRocks.com, you have to go to their website because it's a certified organic aphrodisiac for men and women. It really works. I've been taking it helps men and women, gives you more energy. HotRocks.com check it out. Okay. It really works. And there's a 30 day money back guarantee. So we gotta wrap up.
Yes, we do.
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