SWE: Liberate your Lust

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that Mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, that feels so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sex with emily.com where you can listen to our podcast. Sign up for a mailing list, and please sign up for our RSS feed so you'll never miss another Sex with Emily show. You can also donate to our show. We've got a donate button on the website if you'd like to contribute. Share the wealth and love. And you can also find me on Facebook. Sex with Emily is my fan page. And on Twitter, Emily Morse. M O R S E. We also have an audience survey up if you wanted to tell us what you like about the show, what you don't like about the show. We're down with that. And we're always looking for advertisers. So if you're interested in advertising in the show, you can email me feedbackexwithemily.com and as you know, we're doing more shows and this is our longer show. So here we are. Hi, Menace.

Hi. How are you?

I'm great. How are you?

I'm good. I have a funny story. Can I start off with a story?

Oh, one more thing I gotta do. I gotta say one more thing. We're reading your emails today that you sent to feedbacksexwithelmi.com. topics include the dating and waiting game, a man who really orgasms, the spit versus swallow debate, and gold diggers. And we're also giving some dating sex tips. Okay, Menace, I got to tell you.

What happened to me last night.

Tell me.

Last night I was working here late and I had to go home. But I was thinking, I'm a little hungry. I'm gonna go grab something to eat at Starbucks. Yeah. So I grabbed something to eat.

I call up some girl and I say, hey, can you pick me up? And she said, fine.

Were you calling her because you wanted a ride or you wanted to have some?

No, that's why I wanted a ride. Okay, so I call her up and as I'm waiting, the. This girl comes by and slaps me in the ass and says I'm cute. And she says she has pornell in her hotel room and if I would like to go watch it with her.

Are you serious? Was she a prostitute?

She wasn't a prostitute. She was like. Because yesterday we had all these celebrations for the giant scene.

Oh, the giant. Yeah, we gotta talk about that.

So she was just there for the celebration. She's like in giant skin.

So she was waste. Was she wasted?

She didn't seem wasted. She just seemed.

She just thought you were cute.

It was weird. Okay, so.

And so what'd you do?

I said, ah, nah, I have to. I'm getting. I'm getting somebody to pick me up. Right? Then she walks down the street and then turns back around and comes back and she goes, you're still here? And I'm all, yeah, I'm waiting for my ride. She goes, come on, let's just go. She goes, I'll let you come on my face.

Are you serious? Oh, my God. Did she know who you were? No.

I don't know. I don't know.

Is that like every man's fantasy? Like, okay.

She's like, come on. She was staying at the Western St. Francis.

She must have been drunk or a prostitute or something. Who says things like that?

I know, right?

Not that they. Not that you're not a cute guy. I would slap your ass if I walked past your ass. But I don't think.

That proves our point that every man. The fantasy is for to come on a woman's face. Not every man, but a lot of. Because we were talking about this a few weeks ago.

And who doesn't want to do that?

Not all men, but many men. I think it's fantasy.

I think 99.9% of men.

I don't know. Let's find out. Feedbackexfamily.com where would you like to ejaculate? Anyway, yesterday was crazy. So my office is downtown and I had a meeting like five blocks from my office right before the. Two hours before the parade started. I could not get across Market Street. It was. They said a million people showed up. I was there was. It was sidewalk to sidewalk. Were you down there?

I didn't get it.

It was a sea of fans. I literally got to the point where I still had my computer with me and all my bags because I carry like a million bags with me on the way to my office after I park, and it was madness. And I just really wanted to not be in that crowd. And I couldn't get out of it. I couldn't move. At one point, they're like, where are you going? You can't move. There's nowhere to go. And literally, I was getting claustrophobic.

Yeah.

And I was really happy and excited for the Giants, but I could. I don't know how I got in the middle of the crowd on Market street right when the parade was coming.

Yeah. Imagine like rock concert front row.

That's what I. General admission, it felt like that. It felt like a rock concert front row. Like, I hadn't felt that trapped in a crowd in years. I can't remember the last time where I really. I kept moving and trying to get somewhere, but there was nowhere to get because it was sidewalk to sidewalk. And the middle of the street filled, so there was not even. Like. I kept thinking there'd be, like a pocket of air once I got to the McDonald's. So I finally got down the street and went to Starbucks and just sat there and worked. And you know, they free wi fi now at Starbucks. You must know that because you're eating at Starbucks.

Yeah, I love Starbucks.

Right? I know.

And check this out.

If you know all these people, we have a lot of listeners overseas, so if they don't know what the hell we're talking about.

Okay.

Tell them we're talking about the World Series and the celebration in San Francisco. So if you go on the Google. Google.com Type in for images of San Francisco Giants celebration and you'll see how insane. They have, like, aerial views of how many people. Such a small space.

Yeah. It was crazy. I mean, it's the first time we've ever won the World Series.

Yeah. Here in San Francisco.

It was amazing.

Yeah. And we're. I mean, it's a small, big city. We're only seven by seven miles.

Yeah. People don't realize there's less than a million people here, too, which is why you have to go elsewhere to date people. Because I know everyone or I've dated them.

Yeah.

That's another point. But no, really, there are. Yeah. Less than a million people. It was amazing. I got to check out the pictures. I was in it, so I didn't want anything else to do with the Giants yesterday. But I will look at the pictures. You should, because you know me. I'm not really doing that kind of.

Did you see anybody that you would have sex with?

Well, I was looking around and there was really good.

Because there's extra. There's extra people there.

There was good looking guys in the financial district because that's where all the men in suits and doing all, you know, and I know I work downtown, but I'm always in my office. I'm barely walking around. And there was really good looking guys. There were people like, I don't know, men in suits I think are very attractive. I find men in suits just kind of something very hot about it. And there was a lot of good looking guys. And I was thinking like, where are you guys going and can I. And I was that talking to a few of them. And yeah, I found a lot of attractive men.

There was a lot of attractive girls in town for the Giants.

I think a lot of people came from outside the city.

They need to stay, stay here, enjoy life. Actually, what I got. Sorry to interrupt you, but actually when I did get my ass slapped, I was wearing a tie and a sweater vest.

See, you were. She probably thought you were a businessman and she's a prostitute.

Oh, and that's the good court. Okay, fine.

Yeah. When the hell do you wear tie?

I had to go to some service thing.

Okay. So speaking of dating. So, you know, I'm speaking of men that are attractive. So the guy that I'm dating, but the LA guy is coming to town this weekend. I haven't seen him in like five weeks.

Yeah.

And he asked me, he's like, I want to meet your friends. And I'm having this whole dilemma because I'm like, which friends? I have so many friends in San Francisco, really good friends, you know, that are like my people, my family. My friends are my family peeps. So there's some friends that are like close, that they'll just be like Emily, like they'll just make fun of me and just be totally raw and real. And that's awesome too. And then I've got other friends. Like, maybe we should do a group dinner. But my friends aren't really into that. It's more like we always hang out at someone's house and just do whatever. But I'm just kind of like, am I ready for him to meet my friends I'd like him to meet? Because last time, this is why this happened. And he's having me plan. But last time he. The last two times he was in town, I've only seen him twice. He made the plan. He made the dinner reservations. This last time he was here, we went out with all his friends.

He's screwing up right now because you can't let a women. You can't let women make the plans it never works out. It never works out.

I'm just saying because I'm like, of course I didn't make reservations. And it's hard to get reservations on a Saturday night. And I just don't.

Where do you go to get reservations?

Everywhere you eat. In San Francisco, there's the most amazing restaurants I'm not going to, you know, Applebee's.

I don't go to Applebee's. Ever since I went there and they had a duct tape seat.

Yeah, I'm not taking any more duct tape seats.

How many restaurants you go to that are good restaurants that you don't have to have an appointment?

Yeah, you do. For all the ones I'd want to go to. You do.

Oh, excuse me.

But I'm also feeling a little bit like I want to just be with my friends this weekend. I have a friend in town from la. Isn't that weird? I'm not into dating. And it's funny because someone, like, tweeted me and said, like, why don't you just. And I'm tired of hearing about all your dry spell. You might as well start having sex again. And there's a part of me that's like, I kind of just.

Why don't you just tell this guy not to come? Then tell him to come by next week.

Too late. Too late.

Why?

Because I like him. What's he flying?

What's he flying? I'll tell you how much it costs to change.

He's flying from la.

Yeah, but what's his.

Oh, I have no idea. I'm not picking him up.

Did you pick him up last time? No, no.

Do you think I should? I have plans. I'm meeting with my web person on Saturday morning. Anyway, he's coming Saturday and saying some.

Monday, I think, because if he flies virgin, even though I love them to death, they cost a lot to change. But if it's anybody else, then come on, dude, change it next week.

Yeah, we'll see. But I think I also have just gotten so used to not having a man of my life that I'm sort of in this really good groove now. I'm getting more work done than I've ever gotten done in my life. And I'm just like, my life, my private. My home, my thing, being by myself. But I think it'll be good for me.

But it's a hermit.

I like being a hermit and I like staying home and working every night. And I know that's crazy, but I do. And I like seeing my friends. And I have another Friend in town that I'm dying to see. So anyway, we'll work it out.

You must be studying a lot of sex toys then. You must be doing like ton of sex toy reviews.

Yes, exactly.

What's your favorite slang for.

For the penis.

Penis.

You like the same penis? Do you like wiener? Cock, if you must know.

Why?

Just like saying cock.

Well, like, what are you in.

What are you talking with your girlfriends?

Oh, we're not talking to girlfriends. Yeah, got it. I thought you meant like during dirty talk. Okay. Yeah, I just jumped right there. When I'm with my girlfriends, I probably say is wiener. No, we don't say wiener. Who says wiener?

I say wiener.

I think dick maybe too.

Oh, okay.

Like his dick was. Oh. Because this happened to my friend the other night. She was having sex with this guy.

Yeah.

And this is something that happens often, I guess, with people, but she was having sex with him and she said sex with him like three or four times now. And she's really into him. But the first time they had sex, she was like, he doesn't get that hard. And that happens to a lot of men. And I think a lot of times it has to do with he's nervous the first few times they've been together, but now they've been together a few times and he still can't maintain his erection. And so I'm trying to remember what lingo she used when she was explaining that to me. And I think she said his. I think she said dick.

Really?

Or maybe she said penis.

I like saying I like penis.

What do you like?

Unit package. There's so many funny stuff. You need to mix it up.

His package.

His package.

I don't think his junk. His junk would not stick. No, I don't know. What. I don't. What do you say when you're talking about your own.

Huh?

What do you say usually for real?

For real. I usually say, because I like joking around about it. I say my wiener or something like that.

I've never said wiener. What do you say about vagina? Because vagina is such. Not a fun word.

Vagina.

You say like the P word.

What, pussy?

Yeah.

No.

How about during dirty talk? You don't talk dirty, do you?

No. Yeah. Well, kinda. I don't know. I don't wanna tell you.

Why?

I don't know.

Yeah. Who are you gonna tell me?

Yeah. No, no, no. I'm the person I'm having sex with.

But yeah, you wait for her to start. I think you've told me this before.

You wait for her to start the dirty talk. See, you have to. If you're gonna go into dirty talk, you kind of have to dabble. You gotta, like.

Yeah, don't go right in with the hardcore.

Not like, hey, you like when I stick my, you know, Right. Cock in your vag.

Right.

You know, you can't be saying that. You gotta say.

You can, you know.

Oh, you like. You kind of like start with you like that. Yeah, that's. That's all you say.

Yeah, exactly. You say, how does that feel? Do you like when I touch you here? Does that feel good? You feel so good, baby. That's how you start dirty talking.

Yeah. But then you move it into, like, calling them a and all that kind of stuff.

You don't do that. I cannot see you doing that if you do really do that.

What?

Like you're such a horny or something.

Yeah. And call them sluts and all.

Yeah. Girls like that sometimes. Yeah, you don't. I don't see you doing that though.

Why?

Because I just don't. I have this image of you as not being a dirty sex talker.

Dude. I say stuff like that.

Okay, good. You say you're my little.

What do you say as a woman saying stuff to a guy? What do you say?

I'm like.

I'll say, are you doing, like, instructions?

It's hard to do it when you're not there. You know, it's hard to, like, sing a song when it's not playing. It's hard to do dirty talk when you're not in the moment.

Yeah, that's why I'm like, freezing up right now.

I feel like I could say, like.

Are you giving instructions?

Turn left, Turn left. No, no, no, no.

It's like, you know, f me. F me or something like that. Or do you.

Yeah, sometimes I'll be like, I love the way you f me.

Yeah. But are you. Do you ever go where you take the, like, the kind of the man role? Do you like when I do this and blah, blah, when you're talking?

Sometimes I've done that. Like, do you like when I'm sucking your. Whatever. But yeah, I've done that before. But usually at the beginning, it's just more like, that's so hot. Or I love when you do that. You know, that's a great way to give instructions to someone, is telling that you like what they're doing. For all the women who are like, why doesn't he do what I do? It's like, well, even when he gets close to it, be like, I Love when you touch my neck. I do that all the time. Like, if a guy's kissing my neck, I'm like, oh, my God, I love when you do that. But you know what the problem is? A lot of times I tell them, they don't remember and they don't even do it more than they should. I've had that with lots of guys I've dated. I've been like, I've told you a million times that I like it when you grab my ass and you don't. And it bums me out.

Bastards.

Why don't they listen? Grab my ass.

It's pretty easy to do.

Everybody grab my ass. It's pretty easy. I have a good ass, if I do say so myself. I don't know. You know, we need to talk about too ustream. When the hell are we gonna do that ustream?

When?

This show's gonna air in like a week.

Yeah.

And then we gotta.

What day? What day you want to start doing it?

She thought Tuesday's at 4.

Tuesday is 4pm Pacific Standard Time.

Exactly. In the PST.

Yeah, that'll work.

Okay.

Are you. Can you do that?

Tuesday at 4?

Tuesday at 4.

Where are you gonna do it from?

I guess from my office. Because I'm still in my office at 4.

Really? Is there anyone else around?

I could just close the door.

Okay.

Yeah. But I want you to be there too, kind of.

I gotta go to your office.

I've never been to my website. Ustream. You've never been to my office. Ustream. Where we can live. It's live. We'll interact.

Okay.

Okay.

We can do it.

It's on my list.

We'll make it work.

Okay.

Give it two weeks.

Two weeks. Make sure 4:00 clock on you stream. We can all chat.

Okay.

You can see me and you'll tweet it out.

Follow you on Twitter.

Follow me on Twitter. Emily Morse.

Yeah. And then she'll tweet out.

When she's live, I'll tweet out, yo.

And then you can watch it.

Okay, let's move into some sex in the news. Do it, do it, do it, do it. Ouch. 80% of women faking orgasms says study. It says ouch.

Whatever.

Some women fake orgasms. This we know. But did you also know that 80% are moaning and groaning not only when they are absolutely not climaxing or coming anywhere near it, but when they are fervently wishing for the whole thing to be over? At least that's what a team of British researchers found when they studied sex 71 heterosexual women between the ages of 18 and 48. They found a whopping 80% faked orgasms during vaginal intercourse at least half the time. A smaller group was even more prolific with their oohs and ahs. The study found 25% of the women faked it 90% of the time, according to MSNBC. Researchers found that women are often the quietest. Listen to this. Researchers found that women are often quietest when they are actually receiving pleasure, like during oral sex or foreplay. Then they make the most erotic noises when sex starts feeling uncomfortable or when they get bored. They also get noisy when they sense their partner is ready to climax to boost their partner's self esteem, many reported. The study's authors say women use vocalizations to manipulate male behavior to their advantage. But since, as an MSNBC columnist pointed out, some well meaning men are so fixated on making his partner climax that he won't stop until he thinks she has. Most women, the research said, just fake it to be nice. Unless of course, they're faking that too. So I kind of think this is true. I think whenever I faked it, which I don't anymore, it's usually like when the guy's about to. Or when the guy is about to orgasm. I think I do make more noise and I know that that helps. So I think not on purpose. Like I just think it's hot that I know that he's about to orgasm. So I'll be like, oh yeah baby, something like that. But hotter than that. And the thing about the faking is it's kind of true that when you're really into it and you're not making as much noise sometimes some of the time, like if someone's performing oral sex, it's like you're kind of focused, you're kind of in that moment, but then towards the climax you do make a lot more noise. Anyway, 80% of women fake an orgasm. That's what I gotta say. That's a bummer. Women should not fake their orgasms.

Then why are they even having sex in the first place?

Sending a bad message to men. Men are thinking they're pleasing women all over the globe and they're not.

It doesn't. They just, it kind of sends a message. Then women need to give more direction on what they like.

That's true.

You've learned so much.

Why?

Because it's true. Women just tell them what you want. Why are you faking it? And I get, a lot of times we do it because we want to please them. And because we feel like it's never gonna. Like, we know the point of no return when it's not gonna happen, but just let them know it's not gonna happen. But the reason is also. And we do it for the other person. We don't do it for ourselves. We do it so they think we can. And they are. Don't feel bad. And anyway, we've got some emails about that later because it got about men and women and faking and men and women and wanting to please each other through their orgasms. Anyway, I think it's all fine. Sex is not just about the orgasm. P.S.

Right.

Okay. Chaz Bono. Chaz Bono, you know, he had the sex change operation. Cher. Not used to sex change yet. When Chaz Bono announced he was having a sex change to his mother, Cher, she might have understood it, but she's clearly, clearly trying to get it now. In an interview with Vanity Fair, the musical icon said she wouldn't have been able to handle the situation as well as Chaz if it had been reversed. If I woke up tomorrow in a guy's body, I'd kick and scream and cry and rob a bank because I cannot see anything but who I am. A girl, I would not take it as well. I couldn't imagine it. And though the singer has come to terms with her child's sex change, it doesn't mean she's grown accustomed to it. Well, she's a very smart girl. I mean, boy. This is where I get into trouble. My pronouns are effed up. She said I don't remember to call her him. But Chaz doesn't seem to mind. She's really cool about it. An easygoing person. Can you imagine if your child had a sex change operation? That's kind of a major ordeal.

That's big. Yeah.

I mean, really, you, like, give birth to a son and then you have a daughter? A daughter, then son.

The Chaz really looks like a guy, though.

I know. So he always knew. We always. He always knew they felt like a man. And so now he's done it. Cher's down. She's cool with it. But I guess I could see being like him. Hers coming over.

Cher, she.

Cher. Okay. Prince of Brunei, please don't talk about my sex sculptures of myself. Did you hear about this?

No.

The Prince of Brunei, the younger brother of the famously rich Sultan, is suing two of his financial advisors for selling off a Long island estate for much less than he thinks it's worth. The problem is the North Shore estate in question Just happens to be where Jeffrey was storing.

Six life size erotic statues of himself. Photos obtained by his fiance. One of the women in the harem. He's got a whole harem. He doesn't want the pictures to be used in the trial because they could print prejudice the jury. Basically, they have all these like. It's like him with huge erections and it's like. Yeah, exactly. So it says there's black bars over. You can look this up. But there's like erections and he's really muscular and he's in all these sexual positions and he's got a whole mansion filled with statues of himself. Talk about loving yourself. Yeah. Really? That's fascinating.

Must be nice.

I have a naked picture of myself, but I that someone painted once, but I never hung it up on my wall. Where is it? It's behind my. Behind my counter. I should ebay a sex picture of myself. Does anyone want it?

Is that painting, right? Or is it painting?

I also have those photos. I should get that photo from Christina and that. She took those pictures of me kind of naked, but not really naked.

I should hit her back on Facebook. She's been asking for. I don't know what show she was.

Oh, she wants the show.

Yeah.

She can just get it from itunes.

Everybody. Christina is a girl.

Oh, Karina, I said.

I said it wrong. Karina Marie Diaz.

Yeah. Took photos of you in scantily clad.

Did you ever see them?

Yeah, you.

I gotta do more. I mean, I gotta do something with them. It's on the list. Whatever. Okay. Let's move into some male.

All right.

How about that? Dear Emily and Menace, I'm a bit worried because one of my very close friends of the opposite sex broke up with her boyfriend a while ago. But the real problem is that she admitted to me that she regrets Em ever dating a guy or having a boyfriend. She's beautiful and has a great personality. Although she's been asked that many times. She practically gives out the rejections. When do you think she'll be back in the game and ready to date again? Lots of love, Nabeel from Ireland.

So Nabeel doesn't want to date her.

P.S. no, you missed the point. P.S. i listen on my ipod to and from work and while on business trips. Okay. He's upset because he really likes this friend of his and she just broke up with her boyfriend and she's saying she wants nothing to do with dating and he wants to know when she's going to be back on the dating track again. Can't Predict.

Hmm.

Apparently, I'm not sure that she's into Nabil or not. I can't tell. But usually a lot of women.

I don't want to be harsh, but that's the kind of feeling I'm getting.

She's not that into you.

Yeah. And I don't want him to get hurt because he's waiting around for this chick, and then all of a sudden, she's dating somebody else.

I know. I know. I don't want him to get hurt either.

So tell her, let's go out. And if she says no, then I would just say move on.

Yeah. But I would wait a little. She. She's announced that they just broke up and that she's not ready to date, which has happened to me before. Not that often, but a lot of women I know. Not me typically, because I typically go from one relationship to the next, which I don't do anymore, but I used to. But a lot of women I know physically can't imagine dating when they're going through a breakup. They're going through a breakup with someone, and they. They break up, and they're like, I want nothing to do with the opposite sex so that she might be in that refractory period where she just doesn't want to date right now. So I just be your friend for a while and see what happens? Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

She says just ask her as friends. You guys can go as friends.

Let's go get a burger.

Burger. Or drink a couple shots.

Let's get some shots.

Let's get wasted.

That's usually when I hook up with my friends. Tequila, the female Viagra. Yes, that's what my friend Patron or.

Don Julio, I recommend.

Yeah, me too. I love tequila. Do you like tequila?

I love tequila.

Are you still not drinking?

I'm not drinking For.

How many days has it been now? Two.

No. What is it now? It's almost a week now.

Oh. I'm proud of you. Yeah, you look great. You don't look like I hung over or anything. Not that you usually do, but, you know. I'm just saying.

Thank you.

Okay. I recently found your show, and still catching up. I originally found the show on itunes. I have a Linux box now, so don't have itunes anymore. But I have an app that downloads directly from your RSS feed to my phone.

I don't even know how Linux works.

Me neither. I guess it's a tradition now to comment on the great handjob debate. So here I go. I tend to agree with Menace But I have only ever had one woman try. I am, however, willing to believe that a woman can be good at it if she has strong enough hands. I think it'd be fascinating experience to see if you could hook menace up with someone that could change his mind about it. I'll totally hook you up with a woman that can give you a killer handjob. Would you want that?

A woman that can give me a good handjob?

Yeah.

Do you want me to introduce you to someone? Anyway, okay. So that was just his point about the hand dog debate. Anyway. I tend not to respond to sex the same way that most men seem to. There seems to be some sort of disconnect where I have all the normal lizard brain reactions and orgasm easily enough usually, but I very rarely. And I ejaculate easily enough, but I rarely orgasm. So he ejaculates but doesn't orgasm, which you know is possible. As you can imagine, sex for me is usually all about the woman. Because. Because of this, I really want to say thank you for your show. I'm learning a lot. I loved your fantasy show and I'm really loving your interview shows. Those interviews I do with all the women. I love learning how to make my partner happy, and I'm really seeing her perk up and become a bit more engaged. I will definitely be trying out a cock ring soon. And this weekend we'll be trying out a light bit of bondage for the first time. Darryl from Hillsborough, Oregon. Hey, Darrell. Okay, so first of all, I think that that's normal that you can't. You can't orgasm all the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. You're welcome to go to your doctor and get a checkup. I always recommend that to people because there could be some issue that you're having. But I think that's normal that men sometimes just regularly can't have orgasm. I was with a guy once who didn't. I know many guys who don't all the time. It's more common that they do, but they don't all the time. And every other day or every time you do or whatever isn't so bad. So I wouldn't worry about it, really. That's what I think.

So.

But I would say if it bothers you to go see your doctor and get a checkup. A lot of people don't want to talk to their doctors about sex stuff because they feel uncomfortable. But really they're the best people to talk to. That's what I would say. Nothing Wrong with you, though, Darren, you're fine. And I love that you love to please the woman. And I'm sure your girlfriend's really happy about it, so appreciate that.

Oh, man.

What?

I don't know. We're the ones that gives them therapy.

We do, don't we? I love, I love that. Like, I was thinking today, there was some quote, there was something on the news. It was like headline news. Jada Pinkett Smith, you know, Will Smith's wife says great sex is the most important, is the key to a happy marriage. And it was like, woo, I can't believe she said it. And it's like, what is wrong with America? We are so provincial in so many ways. We're so provincial that a celebrity makes a comment about her sex life being great and. And everyone's got to blow it up on CNN across a ticker. Who cares? Like, I mean, it's great that she's saying that and people realize sex is important, but that's what we're trying to do here every single day and demystify sex and talk about it like it's so important. It is important. Damn it.

Too shy is the problem.

I know. We should have a sex parade in San Francisco. Oh, they have one, don't they? Yeah, they have. Many of them.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Better relationships equal better sex. Sinclair Institute, the leader in sex products for adults, has been saying it for over 20 years. I've seen some of their DVDs and I highly recommend them. Find Sinclair's ad on my products page and my website sexwithemily.com and save 50% off any one item when you put an Emily 50 at checkout. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve.

Hi Emily. Found your podcast on itunes and have enjoyed listening to quite a few episodes. I listened to episode 92, which is in three parts. At the end of part two, you say you're going to talk about men's erogenous zones and their favorite female body parts. But part three obviously skips that information and restarts further towards discussion. Yeah, that used to happen on those part threes. I'll find it for you. Bummer. I wanted to hear it. An observation about Emily. Don't get married, girl, unless it's to a guy who'd be happy in an open relationship about menace. Conservative doesn't like handjobs, laundry or sex toys. Loosen up, bloke. You're on a sex show. Cheers, Conservative. He's from Tasmania, Australia. He's in vacant show 90. You've become more open. Yeah. In the last 90 years.

Oh, speaking of stuff that we missed on our last podcast, we were supposed to talk about something.

I've got that letter.

Oh, you do?

Yeah, right now.

Okay.

Okay. I'm glad you brought it up because it's actually okay. Thank you for. You're so smart. Ready? This is hilarious. This is from Jason. Oh, wait, did I comment on this guy's. Okay, thanks. Thanks, Dino from Tasmania. Totally appreciate it. I don't know what happened sometimes we used to do shows in three parts back in the 90s, and I mean, the 90s show is not in the year of the 90s.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm sorry that got lost, but I'll try to look for that information and re talk about it on the show. Okay. This is a funny letter that I was gonna read on the last show and I didn't have a chance, but I'm gonna read it now. But first I need to have some agua. This is from Jason. Okay, so I'm behind on a few podcasts. I don't know if you remember my email, but I said I was going to drink with you guys. Yeah, I remember him while listening to the episode. See, Background is menace. And I promised that in episode 169 we were gonna have a drinking party.

Yes.

So last Saturday night, my wife went out with her friends and my son was at the grandparents for the night. So I started watching a college football game and drinking. When the game was over, I threw in the podcast and there was some comedian on. You two were in the studio and nobody was drinking. I was super confused and kept drinking. Then in the beginning of the next episode, you guys said you forgot. So my wife gets home at midnight and finds me drunk by myself. I'll try to get this right. Wife says, hey, whoa, are you drunk all by yourself? Me? I was supposed to drink with Emily. Menace. Wife. Who? Me. The Sex with Emily podcast. Remember? Wife. Are they in town? Me. No. They were supposed to drink in episode 169. And wife, you're gonna drink with them and they didn't. Me. Nope. And I'll tell you something else. Emily has lost her shot. I'm never having sex with her now. Wife. Well, that's nice to know. Go to bed. Me. Good idea. Lol. Next time you say you're gonna do this, you better. Otherwise I'll get emails from friends saying I'm a drunk. Like Menace's Twitter friends are sending him Jason from Baltimore. P.S. menace hates balls and should call his mother more.

Jason we're so sorry. We didn't drink. When the hell are we gonna do that?

Menace, man.

It's just hard drinking. Well.

Well, what happened was.

Now Menace is on a drinking vacation.

Well, what happened was. This is what happened.

We.

We can't drink in the studio here because we record at cvs, and this is, you know, a place of business. And at the time, I was doing another radio show at night, so I couldn't go after work during the day and go to your house and record it or at a bar. And now I have the time.

Right, but you're not drinking.

I'm not drinking.

But you're only not drinking for, okay, 30 days. So what. So what do we do?

So we should just wait a little bit. Can we please just wait just a tiny bit to do that?

Yeah.

Is that all right?

Yeah.

What show are we on?

180. This one's probably 184.

184.

183, something like that. We've done a lot of shows.

Yeah. So what would be a good. We'll just figure it out.

Okay.

But. Sorry, Jason, you're.

I'm sorry, Jason. I really want to do it. It's just Emily is a super busy person. I am, too. On top of doing this with her, I work at four other radio stations, and it's really hard to find time where I can just get wasted. I love doing this.

It's your favorite, right?

Because I don't really get to talk much on other things.

And you've got a lot to say.

Yeah, I have a ton of.

Okay, that was hilarious Letter. I loved it. Okay, Emily. Menace. I feel. I feel we need to take the swallow versus spit debate to a new level.

Okay.

How many men have tasted their own ejaculate? Ejaculate. Semen. How many men have tasted their own semen? Terry, my lovely wife and I enjoy the sexual position where I stand on the edge of the bed while she lays on the bed with her long, tan legs spread wide. With an ankle in each of my hands, we try to make sure Terri orgasms first, which is often the case as her fingers will dance. He wrote this very lyrically as her fingers will dance on her enlarged clit. After we both release, I dropped my knees, and with her legs still spread wide, I will lick semen out of her. This drives her absolutely wild, as it is erotic. After I'm sure the flow of love has ceased, I will crawl up on the bed and she will kiss me deeply so she can taste the nectar of our coupling. We will usually French kiss and she will let me fondle her breasts as we catch her breath. Sometimes after we have anal sex, I will lick my semen from her, which sends her euphoric, which sends her into euphoria. That's how erotic this is. I know this last scenario will totally freak out. Menace. If you. If your love partner reaches a new level of friskiness by you performing something she does not expect you, she will reward you with an increased appetite for sex. It certainly works for us. The show is funny and informative. Ian and Terry from Hamilton, Canada, where we download from itunes. Ian and Terry, that's awesome. I mean, listen, it is so true that when you push the sexual button, when you push your sexual threshold and you do things that are not typical, that it really does open up your sexual appetite. It does make you more open sexually and it's good to do. Like, I think that's hot.

I think they are doing something that I learned about in junior high and it was a term, they called it snowballing.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Where you, you know, taste your partner.

Right back and forth. Yeah, I'm a little under the weather, so I apologize. I apologize if I'm not that funny today. But, yeah, I learned about that in junior high.

Yeah. But he likes it and they find it hot. And I think it's. His last sentence is very profound. I'm going to read it again because I think it's a profound. If your love partner reaches a new level of friskiness by you performing something she does not expect, she will reward you with an increased appetite for sex. I think again, that is so true. To surprise your partner, not just to go try something really intense that you've never done. You have to build up to it like everything else. However, trying something different, usually for couples, really just catapults their sex life to a new level. So I really like this. Ian and Terri from Canada.

I'm sure there's a lot of people out there doing that stuff.

Yeah. But they don't write me and tell me about it. So I appreciate it. Ian and Terri. God, everyone always asks me, like, what's the most amazing thing you've ever heard? Or what's the most shocking? And I'm like, everything I love. Does anything ever gross you out or bother you? And it's like, nope, I love every letter I read. Every single one.

We still haven't cracked the code of foot fetish.

I know. Do foot fetish. Email us feedbackexfamily.com.

Why do you like Feet? Why?

A lot of people like feet.

You love feet. And I hear about it all the time. But I even had a friend who was really into feet. But why?

Why didn't you ask your friend why?

He couldn't explain it. He said he just liked it.

Yeah, it's just something that gets in your neurons.

Yeah, if somebody can figure it out, that let me know.

I think fetishes come from like the deep recesses of our mind. From something that happened in childhood a lot of times or just you.

What's happening to everybody in childhood where they love feet?

Well, you. Sometimes you erot. Maybe they saw their mother in high heels or something.

Their mother?

Yeah, they eroticized it. Or you fetishize it. You fetishize the heels or shoes or women's stuff. I mean, just like anything people who have fetish for breasts or fetish for women's clothing, like, it doesn't mean you're gay if you're a man and you like women's underwear. It's just. It's just your mind sexualizes certain things.

Women should date guys that have foot fetishes because I'm sure they get fabulous shoes.

You know what that. Fabulous shoes and a great foot massage. Yeah, I'd love a foot massage. Men do not do foot massages enough. Do you know that? Every woman I know would love that.

Really?

Yeah.

I give amazing foot massage.

Do you do that?

Yeah, but I haven't done it lately. Because there's no one.

Because you're just hooking up. Oh, they only get the foot massage if you're like committed or sit with.

Them more than once. I have a girlfriend. I give them the world.

I do. I treat them.

I throw coochie bags at him. No, I treat him really well. If we're together, I treat you really well. And then that's why, on the other hand, I don't take no crap too, because I go, look, I treat you really good. I know I treat you really good. And if you're trying to give me some crap or some flack or some brattiness, I ain't gonna have it.

You treat them well however. You work a lot so that you don't give them enough time. They think, but I. That's the same with me. So it's not that we treat them poorly in that way. It's just that we like our. Choose our work.

Yeah.

Which I'm working on. Okay. Emily.

Fortunately, my work doesn't give me a blow job.

Exactly. Oh, I love my new T shirt. We have to. We're gonna put a picture on this episode, okay, of me wearing a T shirt that Menace just bought me. So go to my website, sexfelmily.com okay, Emily, enjoying the latest podcast, but can't help but email my thought. Menace and yourself are a bit off with the gold diggers. Not so much in the Midwest. Saying that the gold diggers are not in the Midwest that much. Chicago is full of them. Come to any spot in the Gold coast or near north and they are everywhere and hardly hide it. Maybe when I was in New York, Miami and la. Never San Fran. Unfortunately I never went to the right place. Keep talking. And can you talk about the preferred lingerie material of women, I. E. Silk, cotton, lace, etc. Piece to you both from Chi Town Davis. Gold diggers all over the world, there are gold diggers in every city. I'm sure. Did you say that the Midwest girls. I think he's referring to a comment you made about Midwestern girls not being.

Yeah, I don't. I mean off I go out there for days at a time. So. Not that I'm living there, but the girls that I find they just seem more.

A little corn fed.

A little more corn fed. I don't have to take them to feed fancy dinners where I have to get an appointment.

You don't do that anyway.

But yeah, I don't know, they just seem a lot cooler.

I mean, there's a gold digger everywhere. But I think he also wants to know about preferred lingerie material women. Silk or cotton or lace? I think it's a case by case basis.

Silk, right.

I think that women I like. I like everything.

I have everything.

I've Cotton, silk, lace. I think it depends what kind of mood I'm in. Like, I still think lace is kind of sexy. I'm just gonna look at my bra. I don't have it on now, but I have this one bra that I think is really pretty. But I stick with like, I don't know. But I have cotton underwear too and I have everything. I think you have to ask the woman.

And I'm a cotton guy.

Cotton?

Yeah, cotton. Keep it real.

But silk feels good. Doesn't does.

I don't know.

Seems cheesy to you? Yeah, I know you have this thing about lingerie.

I think lingerie is cheesy.

Okay, honey, it's fine. I need to buy some new stuff though. I need to buy.

Where do you go?

I go to different stores. I went to a stripper store last week to buy boots for Halloween. Yeah, just show you my Halloween picture. It's really hot.

All right.

And they had the most amazing lingerie in there. And I kind of wanted it all. It wasn't all stripper clothes, but it was a lot of stripper clothes. But I go to, you know, wherever, department stores. I don't buy it. I don't do it a lot. I don't buy a lot of new lingerie. But whenever I start dating someone, I do. So I kind of should do that now. I should go buy lingerie tonight for my weekend plans. Not lingerie, but like new bras and underwear. It's on the list. I won't have time. Forget it. Okay, let's give some. Oh, a few. We can give a few dating tips.

Yeah.

All right, quickly. These are quick dating tips. These are just a few do's and don'ts Tips to make your first date go smoothly. First dates can be nerve wracking, and they often render even the most experienced of daters shy, silent, and prone to make it awkward and embarrassing mistakes. So here's some chances of getting a second date. Here's some ideas below about you so you'll get a second date even before the initial meeting is over. Here's some pointers to help you put your most attractive foot forward. These might be kind of obvious, but again, I get questions a lot about dating, so like what's the best things to do? So here's some do's and don'ts. Do be on time. The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression by being late. Tardiness implies that you don't care. Even worse, the person you're meeting may not hang around to wait for you. Do make your partner feel comfortable. We're all on edge. The first date and the first date with someone. Try to put your partner at ease and get them to relax and help you stay calm and enjoy yourself. Do be interesting on the date. The worst thing you can do is show up with someone and then sit there all night and talk about nothing. Or stay silent. Don't make yourself easy to forget. That's true. Just come. If you have to read the newspaper or watch TV or think of something interesting to say, think of it. Because I've had those dates where they're like so. And you hear like the fork clinking. Just be interesting. Laugh at their jokes. Even if you heard the joke 100 times or more, laughing at her jokes will let you know you're interested in them. So these are kind of obvious, but what is your My tip of the first date? Same Thing, I think that you should ask questions. Don't talk about yourself too much. Ask questions about me. I have so many guys who don't ask questions. That is the biggest complaint that I hear from women is that they went out with a guy. And I think a lot of times it's nerves. But guys do not ask questions to the woman about her. Like, just ask her anything. Do you like your boss? Do you like your job? Do you like your work? Who's your friends? Do you have a brother? Sister? There's so many questions to ask. Were you raised religious? Where did you grow up? Just women love talking about themselves. And it's not that she's not going to. She'll ask you questions back, hopefully. But just ask questions. And here's some don'ts. Don't be late. That's the same as being on time. Don't talk about yourself all night. Don't talk about past relationships. I agree to that. Never talk about your past relationship on the first, second or third date.

Or ever.

Or ever. Exactly. Don't eat with your mouth open. I know guys do that.

Really?

They don't realize it, but how do you tell a guy that he's eating with his mouth open?

I don't realize I'm doing it.

I don't think you do. I've never eaten with you, though.

Okay.

We've never done anything but had a drink together. Don't bombard your date with extra extremely personal questions. Like you, they probably don't want to reveal too much about themselves yet. If you like each other, want to continue after this first meeting, there'll be plenty of time to ask questions and delve deeper. So that's it. On the first date, don't get into like your divorce or all your issues. Just kind of try to keep it light. But there's a lot of light, interesting things that you can talk about that you know that don't have to be about. Like, what's your favorite sex position? Like, don't talk about sex on the first date. Unless of course, you're me. And I get asked questions about guy flowers. Whenever I go with guys, they ask me questions all the time about sex because they think I'm. Well, I know you're used to this. So you think I should shave my balls?

Yeah.

I'm like, really?

Whatever you want.

When I'm dropping loads, where do you think I should put them?

Exactly? Okay. Don't forget to thank the other person for the date. That is so true. You have to always thank. I always send thank. You emails or texts right after the date. Don't you like when a girl thanks you after you take her out or you don't care?

I don't care.

Really?

Well, no, I like them responding back because now it doesn't feel like I'm bothering them.

Right.

Because I. Because they didn't respond to me after going out with me.

Right. Yeah.

So at least I know they're interested in maybe hanging out again.

Right. Okay. But I might just be thanking you and not interested in hanging out again. But anyway, you don't know for sure, do you? Go somewhere unique? First dates don't have to be the movies or to a restaurant for a nice meal. You will make a longer lasting impression if you get creative. I don't know about that. I'd say get creative but not too creative. Like I have a friend who guys was like let's go on a hike and she hates hiking and he wanted to go see a band and she doesn't like bands and it's like you just don't be. There's stuff you can do but don't be too creative. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. So that's what I'm saying. Okay guys, so thank you so much for listening to the show. I really appreciate it. Email me. Was the show, was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles? Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying a glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emily and Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aromatherapy massage oils that when warmed like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use it during foreplay. And you know me, I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fougere. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today@emilyandtoni.com and you're welcome.

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