SWE: Like a Virgin

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Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Better relationships equal better sex. Sinclair Institute, the leader in sex education products for adult has been saying it for over 20 years. I've seen some of their DVDs and I highly recommend them. Find Sinclair's ad on my products page on my website sexwithemily.com and save 50% off any one item when you put an Emily 50 at checkout. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes.

They call them an abomination.

Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz My man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex With Emily, we're talking about sex with sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all of your sex questions answered and relationship issues and whatever is going on in your life. I promise you that a little visit to sexfelmily.com will change your life. Happy Friday, everyone.

Happy Friday, Emily. What the heck is going on with my microphone?

I don't know, but today's show is a special show. We've got a lot going on. On today's show. It is the virgin show. But if you're a virgin, doesn't mean you should not listen to this show because we're giving you lots of tips. Great airlines, but I'm telling you, I had a flurry of emails from virgins, from old virgins, young virgins, people who are dating virgins. So I thought we should give some tips to people. But they're actually universal tips that you can use for your sex life. And then we're also going to be reading the emails that you sent to feedbackextently.com covering a wide range of topics today. And we had a contest sponsored by Forta. We have a new contest, actually a new contest sponsored by Forda Online. And it's. That is what is your biggest turn on or turn off? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com or you can find me on Twitter or Facebook. Sex with Emily. The Prize, we're giving three people each one 10 pack of Forta for men and women. Now, what is Forta you're thinking? It's not just for people who have issues with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. It's for an enhanced sexual experience for men. It's a new fast acting, all natural sexual enhancement product that makes the most of your natural potential. It's 100% organic and will not lead to addiction. And there's also Forta for women. Enhancing desire, orgasms, overall sexual appetite. So what you gotta do is you gotta email me what's your biggest turn on or biggest turnoff. And we're gonna pick winners, a few winners and you'll win some Forta. That's what I gotta say. Hi, Mattis. How you doing?

I'm good. How you doing?

I'm doing great. Yeah, It's. I'm excited for the weekend. I'm not a whole bunch I'm planning on. I'm actually obsessed with Labor Day because that's coming up and I don't know what to do. Like, I feel like I have all these options which I'm lucky. But I don't know what to do. Like, I feel like I might want to go to Burning man, which is this huge festival in the desert every year in Nevada, which a lot of Californians and people from all over the world go to. About 60,000 people run around and build art. And some are naked, some are taking drugs. It's a party.

I'm not going to go.

But then if I don't go, what am I going to do? Have a staycation? Just stay in San Francisco and hang out? Is that what you.

Well, I'm screwed. I gotta go to a. I gotta go to a wedding.

Oh, that's right, you have a wedding. You've like 16 weddings coming up.

I know it's ridiculous, but this weekend.

I think I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna lay low and.

What? I don't know.

You should go to Burning Man. You'll just find somebody to take you.

I know, I know. And I actually wanna fly there with a friend who flies to Burning man. So that's fun. But I'm sure if you haven't heard of Burning man, go to burningman.com or something, you'll understand. But you've heard of it.

It's totally for this show.

It's total like, you know, research and.

No, it's just people just banging in the middle. Middle of the desert.

But I didn't see that when I went. I didn't see a lot of sex, but I know there's tons of sex. A lot of naked people. People are dressed up like in crazy costumes, riding bikes through the desert. They build an entire city for a week or two weeks and it looks like a city. It's insane. So I might do that this weekend. I'm not sure what. And what, do you have a wedding this weekend?

This weekend? I do not have a wedding. This weekend is another work weekend. Really a bunch of work done. Yeah.

You're just working. That's what I do too. It's good times. Yeah, there's lots of work going on in sex with Emily dot com. We also. Our last contest was amazing. What do you wish they taught you in sex ed? And we had lots of winners. They won like $400 gift baskets. But if you didn't win, you can go to sinclairinstitute.com, use coupon code EMILY.50 for 50% off one item. And they create educational sex video videos that are nothing like you saw in sex ed. They teach by showing the real thing. So lots of the emails I get asked, I Get hundreds of emails from you, and you're like, well, how do we spice it up? Or how do we do this position or that position? And they actually have educational DVDs that are not porn, but they're real people having sex and they're educational. So check out St. Clarence, too. We love them, and there's lots of good things on their site. Okay, so what else, Menace? Anything funny? You have to tell me.

Anything funny or juicy? No, I just.

No juicy.

I know. It sucks.

I know. I just feel like I was, like, riding in the elevator up here to Stitcher. We're at the Stitcher Studios, where you can. You can easily listen to our podcast. We've got hundreds of them. You download Stitcher for your smartphone, your iPad, and you just stream the show. S T I T C H E R so anyway, I was running up the stairs. I was on the elevator, and I was like, like, just feeling kind of bummed. Like, not bad. Just like, what is life about? Like, how are you having one of those? Like, what. Like, what does it all mean? And I'm just working all the time, trying to make sex with Emily, like, take over the world, and. And I don't know, like, I have to have more fun, so maybe I should just go to Burning man and get naked in the desert.

You should know, I kind of had the. The same feelings.

Did you?

It just. I don't know. I feel like I'm doing so many good things, but then at the same time, like, I, like, upset people.

Yeah, I upset people, too.

And it's just like. And then it makes you feel bad for what you're doing. You know, Like, I said something on the radio and I pissed off somebody.

One person that you know, or just.

Like, a couple people, but for, like, separate things. It wasn't even, like, in the same thing. And I'm just like, oh, my God.

I know. It's a lot. It's a lot to deal with. I just being.

I was, like, talking.

What you do. Can you say it here? Are you gonna piss off people if you repeat it?

No, not here. It was.

No, I know, but it was your other radio show. But do you.

It's my other radio show. There was, like, some other thing. I was. I was trying to be nice and, like, mention somebody's.

Website or something like that, and. But I also, like, made a joke. Oh, after, like, with something with it.

Oh, no.

And then they got upset, and you.

Mentioned their website on the radio. They should be happy you mentioned their website.

So, yeah, it sucked because I was just trying to be nice.

I know.

You know, but it's hard when people.

Are mad at you. It's really. That's. I think that's one of it too. I've got a few friends because I was just on this television show. So is Minutes called Misadvised on Bravo. And it just ended. And it was a reality show. You can download it on demand if you have cable, or you can download it from itunes for like 7.99 or something. Point is, that took over my life for two months. Like, that was like, I didn't see any of my friends. So now I've got all these friends who are mad at me because I haven't seen them and I didn't call them back. I don't even remember they called me because that's how crazy it was. So I'm just trying to pick up the pieces.

This is what I found in life.

Talk to me. Are you gonna teach me a life lesson? Cause I need. I need some inspiration.

This is something that I learned easily after my many years of working hard, that love is great, friends are great, but it doesn't pay the bills, man.

Don't pay the bills.

Pay the bills. Don't pay my rent. And I don't want to be around people where I have to depend on them, you know, Right.

To get.

Get a source of income or, like, ask favors and stuff like that. Like, dude, I gotta work.

I know set.

If I'm working and I'm making a.

Living, all my friends are mad at me because they haven't seen me and I'm working. And you're right. And they don't get it that, like, we're both to make a living doing something that's really hard. So you're right. I gotta just let go of all those people. Okay. So we can move into some sex in the news.

Okay.

If you would like. That sounds like a nice choice. A British couple on the hunt for strangers to pay for their 24th wedding. This is so bizarre. Alex and Lisa are a young couple from Yorkshire, England, who became engaged in 2011 and are just chomping at the bit to share their love with the world and for the world to foot the bill. Any takers? They've recently started a project, Extended Vacation, in which they allow strangers to throw them elaborate weddings in many exotic locations around the world. From a Native American wedding in British Columbia to a vampire wedding in Hollywood to a wedding in Costa rica. They've had 23, and they won't stop till July 2014 by spending a couple years traveling around and partying and being the center of attention. They document their adventures on their blog. Romantic or nauseatingly cutesy? I think. What do they look. Why would they need, like the whole entire world to celebrate their wedding? They just sound like young partiers or something stupid. That's stupid. You want young strangers celebrating?

Get a job.

Get a job, people. I mean, does everyone have to come with a gift? I don't know you, but here's like a gift, you know, that's stupid. Okay, new blog highlights. Creepy. Okay, Cupid, come ons. This is going to be hilarious because I know that all my friends who date online have hilarious, hilarious responses that they get from potential suitors. So this is not OkCupid and it's a handiwork. It's. That's what the website's called. This is not. Okay, Cupid, okay, is the handiwork of one enterprising young lady who attracts online creepers by the bush. By the bushel. Then posts their overtures on her Tumblr blog with her own comments added. It's been blowing up this week thanks to the high levels of weirdness of her would be lovers, as well as submissions from girls everywhere. So everyone is submitting their weird submissions to all those interested in online dating. Her blog is a good example of the kinds of first messages to not send. So this is like, we're always getting asked, what's the best profile message? What should I tell someone on the first message? Aside from the extremely graphic proposition, highlights include I punched my teddy bear and it ran away. Can I cuddle with you instead? That was one of the bad ones. It's your lucky day. I've had over 30 females tell me I am the God of oral sex. These are first messages to people. Here's the game. We find a guy, get him drunk, take him home, and we both have away with him. 10 bonus points if he's straight.

What?

People are writing this. And of course, a lengthy poem that starts the line at evening stroke. So check out thisisnotokupid.tumblr.com I think that's funny because seriously, there is such amazing content that comes out of online dating. Like, I've had friends who guys were, like, sending them naked pictures and like, being like, are you into this kind of sex or that kind of sex? So I think it's a funny, enterprising mission. Okay. What?

Well, just in general, what women get on Twitter too should be hilarious. They should put Twitter on there.

They should. I should put my Twitter or my emails I just get from people like asking me, like, oh my God, like, will you marry me?

And that's what it should be. This should be your next book. Your just digital book. Emails to Emily.

I have so many emails to Emily. And love letters to Emily. I have all my love letters from. I told you this before.

There you go. I just gave you your next easy. But how easy is that?

I'm gonna write it down.

Emails to Emily.

Emails to Emily. It's a nice alliteration. Emails to Emily. Okay, that's my next book. And I do have a book if you want to buy it. It's amazing. It's called hot. Over 200 things you can try tonight. You can buy it on Amazon. I'm actually having a big party in San Francisco if you're in the bay area on September 5th with Amy, my co star of Ms. Advised. She wrote a book too, called Eight Weeks to Everlasting. And we're gonna have a book party. So email me if you want to know more about that.

Well, check this out.

Check this out. What?

I'm gonna have you on my radio show that day. You and Amy together. Together.

Oh, cool.

Just FYI.

Oh, that's good. You didn't even let me know what time. Don't make me go early. How early? How early?

You're gonna be always late. I need you to be early.

I'll be there early.

7:45.

I can do that. 7:45am that's early for two minutes, right?

No, we'll put you on for a good amount of time.

Okay. And then I'm gonna come on more often. You said when you're all more established and stuff. Okay, we'll pump up. I love that. We gotta pump it up. Pump it up, pump it up. It's gonna be a really fun party. Okay. Axe ad featuring headless pairs of breasts getting chopped by viewers.

What?

A television commercial for Axe. Axe has been branded sexist by thousands of viewers because the female character in the ad is depicted as a headless pair of breasts and legs designed to promote a men's hair care product. The concept of the ad set in office is based on the idea that men notice breasts first on a woman, while women notice a man's hair before anything else. In turn, the male character who admires his amply chested co worker from afar is a thick head of hair on legs. This is not the first time an ad for Axe, which is owned by Unilever, has sparked controversy. An ad in 2010 attracted anger after a Man having a shower after one night stand was using his Axe shower gel to scrub away the skank. Do you remember that?

Did he really say scrub away the skank?

Yes, that's what Axe said, and they got in trouble.

Oh, wow.

So now they're not happy because they're showing women walking around with their boobs when. Whatever. Is that what men look at first?

Have you never taken the horse bath? I've done it in Vegas. The horse bath is where you've been out all night, but you don't want to go straight home. So you just, like, you take a bath in a sink, like in a random bathroom. Like, you just, like, clean yourself up. It's called the whore's bath.

The whore's bath. I haven't had to do that. I usually. I try to have a hotel room to go back to, but I'm going to Vegas September 10th to the 15th. I'll be there for the international lingerie show.

Really?

Yep. If you want to come. I always invite you. You never invite me. Okay. Science provides yet another reason why the rhythm method is out of tune. So you know the rhythm method, right? Like where you have your period, you know when you're the woman's ovulating and you pull out during those times. You're more careful during the time she's ovulating. New research has confirmed that the fluid in semen longest made is primarily a vehicle for sperm. Contains a substance that can trigger ovulation and other pregnancy, supporting hormonal responses in female mammals. The find could lead to new fertility treatments in humans. Like most female animals, women are spontaneous ovulators, meaning they release eggs on a fairly regular basis, regardless of their sexual activities. However. But because however ovulate the response. They ovulate in response to sex. It was originally thought this happened purely because of physical stimulation. But researchers theorized something in the makeup of semen having to do with this. And 27 years later, their theories have been proven correct. So it can induce ovulation, your semen in a woman so she could still get pregnant. So you gotta be careful. Damn it. Damn it. Sorry about that. Okay. We have to talk about Representative Todd Akin of Missouri Republican. Representative.

Oh, my God. This has been all over the place.

All over the place. And I just feel like it's my duty. So when asked whether he believes in abortion, just to give you the recap, if you haven't been watching the news or anything, Abortion is justified in cases of rape, that rapes don't result in pregnancy. His words are from What I understand from doctors, it's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has a way to try and shut down the whole thing. So he's basically saying that he heard from some quack doctor that if a woman gets raped, her body has a way of shutting down the sperm so she doesn't get pregnant, which is crazy. So Twitter quickly erupted with outrage and links to the interview. Five hours later, Akin tried to backtrack, claiming he had fumbled his words, but he was already being denounced by Republican leadership. Despite the fact that Republican platform is shifting towards denying abortion in all cases, even rape, Atkin, despite being attacked by his own party, has so far refused to step down. There's many things to consider to be mad about here. Here's some of them. The idea widely held that women over report rape, thus making some rapes illegitimate and others legitimate. A congressman assigning magical judicial powers to a woman's uterus. This idea has actually been forced several times in the past by Republicans who are against abortion and that people who believe this stuff are actively trying and succeeding in denying women the access to birth control around the country. So it's just wreaking havoc on women and life and country and he's such an idiot.

It's insane.

It's insane what's going down.

It's insane. And then he tried to backtrack again, again on an interview, like the next day. And it was so bad.

He's so bad. He's like, oh, yeah, the body just naturally knows if you're raped, it won't.

Yeah, he's trying to backtrack. Just. And you know you messed up. Just admit I messed up.

I know people. It's. Yeah, once you mess up, you mess up.

Yeah. You just gotta suck it up and say you made a mistake.

So true. Okay, emails.

All right.

All right. Love hearing from the people. You can email me straight from my website. There's an Ask Emily thing at Ask Emily tab at sex with elmy.com. or you can email me feedbackexwithelmy.com it's.

Gonna be part of her next book.

It's my next book. I'm gonna publish your emails. I think I should. It's so easy. I've got thousands of them and they're all really good because people email me the best questions. Hi, Emily. I am separated and I want to start dating. I like to mix it up in the bedroom. I'm very submissive. It's hard to find a man that wants the same thing. Where and how do I Meet a man like this. I find that men I've dated and married are put off about getting twisted in the bedroom. Help. How many men will I have to date to find that one? Also, is it okay for a woman to go to a bar by herself, Louisiana Bears? She signed it, so at first I thought she was saying bears like she's gay. Like bear, you know, bears in the gay community. But it's hard to find a man who wants the same thing. I don't think it would be hard to find a man that.

That would like to be. That would like to dominate you because you say that you've dated and men that are about getting twisted in the bedroom. First of all, I think a lot of men like a woman to be more submissive in the. In the bedroom. Don't you think? I mean, not all the time, but if a woman is submissive and wants to be tied up or teased.

Yeah, yeah. But you know, you have to give direction to that.

Right.

Guys are not going to know that they can just do it.

Right. You're going to have to vocalize it to the guys. Are you sure they're not down with it? Like, I don't think it, like, it says that they're put off. You said that they're put off about getting twisted in the bedroom. I'm not sure what that means, but I think you just got to keep dating and putting it out there because you will find what you want sexually. I mean, you can also go online. There's certain sites that cater to, like, more. You can, like, like, even OkCupid. You can answer things more sexually. Like, this is what you're interested in. Right. Aren't on OkCupid. They ask you some questions like that or, no, you never used it, but. And also, it's totally fine for a woman to go to a bar by herself. In fact, I think you're going to meet a lot of people that. I love going to a bar myself. I like going to the movies by myself. So don't be ashamed. Just sit there proud. Drink your drink. Have fun. Go to a bar, do it. I have no problem with that at all. But I would also say if you're not meeting the kind of men you want to meet, I would try dating online. And there's nothing wrong with. If you find someone that you're interested online and you guys start emailing, you can ask, like, what are your sexual proclivities? And see what comes up. Okay. Dear Emily, big fan of your podcast and misadvised. I have A non sexual question for you. I am wondering if you can advise on how to properly ask out a waitress. For me, it is different from approaching someone at a bar or club because they're working. I am funny and fairly confident, but I am not a top notch player in the smoothness or flirting departments. No Jedi mind tricks here. So it would be harder for me to ask out a waitress without coming across as a creepy customer. Also, I don't like the idea of putting someone on the spot, especially with an earshot of other customers. What do you think, Travis from Tampa? I think you just gotta like either. You could leave her a note with your phone number. Although women don't often call when you do that, right?

Yeah, they don't.

You can just start chatting with her when it comes to your table and say, so what are you doing later? I mean, I think waitresses, when I was a waitress, you get asked out all the time. Do you think there's a special trick to asking out a waitress?

I mean, have you seen her a few times? Are you a regular?

You can't be like a regular. You can't just be any geek off the street.

Yeah, if you're one time Charlie. No, but if you go in there all the time and you see her and you have a friendly rapport, I would suggest going in there all the time and then you can be like, hey, well what are you doing after? My friend's band is playing Friday night. You want to come with me? You can make it really casual, but I don't think that you should trip on it. I think you should just ask her out. I don't think it's a big deal. But again, I would make it so she's. You're familiar. Like, I don't think that she's going to give her a number to a complete stranger unless she's really attracted to you or whatever. But a lot of women don't. Like, she might take your number. I've done that. I've never called. Have you ever had a woman call you after you give her their number?

No, but they've like hit me up online.

Right? Yeah. I mean, I would say you could wait for her after work, but then that's kind of stocky. So I would just try to make it casual. Make it casual and be like, hey, so what's new? How's your day going? Your day's going off. Really? Yeah. You want to go to see this great show? Just casual. Don't overthink it. You're overthinking It. Don't you think that guys overthink these things sometimes and they just got to ask?

Yeah, you got to make it totally.

Casual, Cash, not uptight. She can't. She doesn't need to know that you've been stressing about it and that you emailed me about it. I will never tell her.

Okay. Dear Emily, first time writing in, but I've been listening to your podcast for a while. I have someone I've been going out on dates with, and she doesn't understand how being in a relationship with someone and being friends are different besides the sex. After prodding a little more, she reveals that she's never been in love with a boyfriend before. I tried to explain that being in love with someone you're in a relationship with is different than loving a friend, but I just can't get through to her. Are some people just not programmed to love that way? Is there a better way to explain to her our difference between friends and lovers? So that's interesting that she doesn't understand the difference between friend between friends and lovers. Like, I would think that's sort of common knowledge.

Well, are they having sex or not?

She says that.

He'S been on dates with her a little, and she doesn't understand how being in a relationship, someone and being friends are different besides the sex. Because I think when you're in a relationship with someone, you have a certain emotional intimacy with them, and you have the sexual intimacy. You rely on them more. You take them as your date to weddings, they come home with you, the Thanksgiving to meet your family, and you rely on each other. And you build this. You build. A lot of people get in relationships because they're building towards something. So maybe that's the difference between friendships and a sexual relationship is like, in friendships, like, my friends are my friends. We're not, like, working towards eventually moving in together. Like, I'm not moving in with my best friend. But if you're dating someone, you might be working towards family and children and living together. So, I mean, that's how, I guess you'd explain it. It doesn't seem like it would be that difficult to explain, but you asked me if some people are just not programmed to love that way. And I think that there are some people who are not programmed to love, to love in a different way. Some people who are, like, in polyamorous or open relationships, love many people. Their friends become lovers, their lovers become friends. So, yeah, not everyone is programmed to fall in love and follow the traditional path.

Yeah. And then.

If you. If you're just hooking up too. Don't. And there's never been talks about a relationship, right. Where you guys, oh, you're just friends that hook up. You know, I, I, I don't know if you should think that's gonna lead to a relationship either.

Right? That's true. But I'm wondering what you want from her. It sounds like you want stuff from her because you're prodding and you're talking to her and she's never been in love and never had a boyfriend. So I would say if she's never been in love and never had a boyfriend, it totally makes sense that she doesn't understand the difference. How old is she? How old are you? I need to know more information so you can email me and then we can flesh this out some more. But if she's never been in love, never had a boyfriend, she's not gonna understand it. End of story. Okay. Dear Emily, I started seeing this guy who just got out of a seven year relationship. We met at a party and have talked almost every day since. I like him and he likes me, but because of his recent breakup only four months ago, he says he doesn't want to get into a relationship right now. However, he is all for us having an exclusive sexual relationship. Should I continue to see him and have this type of relationship he wants now, hoping it will progress into something more? Or should I just move on since he just wants sex? Sign Missy. Well, Missy, it sounds like you should move on. He's telling you very clearly that he only wants to have sex with you. And I'm thinking that you want a relationship because you like him. And this is where it gets tricky because like you said, you said this. Should I continue to see him in case he changes, in case it progresses? And you can never get into a relationship thinking that you're gonna change. Someone thinking that they're all of a sudden gonna wanna commit to you thinking that, that it's gonna change. I mean, people tell you who they are and what they want fairly early on and he's saying, I'm out of a seven year relationship, I just wanna bang you and I think you're cool and we're having a good time together and let's just be cas. But Missy, it sounds like you want more from him and I think that you should just bail on this one. Even if you like him, get out. Get out before you get hurt. Because every time you go into a relationship thinking that you're going to change someone, it never happens, ever, ever, ever. People only change if you want them to change. That's what I gotta say to that. Okay, moving on to our topic. And the topic is, the topic is virgins.

Virgins.

Because here's the deal. And it's not just virgins.

I wasn't virgin until you were like 30, right?

30, right. I was a virgin until 30. But you can't believe we are getting emails from virgins of all different ages. But we're also going to be giving you some important information here just about sex and relationships and knowing your body. But I did all of a sudden get like a flurry of emails from all these virgins. And so I figured I incorporated them since television show, maybe we got a younger audience. I don't know, I just figured I had to address it. It was my duty to the people. So is it? But this, this first email was entitled in the subject line, is it supposed to be Special? Dear Emily, I'm a 19 year old college student who's a virgin. I'm completely open to the possibility of sex, but I'm pretty overwhelmed by the idea of the first time. My question is, how important is it that my first time be with someone special or serious? Is losing my virginity supposed to be some sort of life altering experience with someone I have deep feelings for or can it be a casual experience with someone I just have chemistry with? Basically, does it have to be a big deal? Sign Sheila. Okay, Sheila, here's the deal. I don't think it has to be anything it's not supposed to be like special or not special. I would just say part of having a happy, healthy sex life is knowing exactly what you want. And so if you feel like you want to be with someone who is, you know, you'd you choose that you'd like to have more of a committed relationship, then you should definitely wait for that. But I think if you also have sex with someone you're dating casually, there's nothing wrong with that either. The most important thing is is what you want and what makes you feel sexy and relaxed.

It's good to get in the habit of thinking about what you want sexually. And before you do have sex, I hope you've been masturbating and I hope you've been figuring out what makes you feel good because that will definitely make the first success experience much better. If you know how to give yourself an orgasm, you can show your partner. But I again, I'm not going to put any labels on it and I'm not going to tell you that it's important I would like to say this first time shouldn't be random.

Yeah. It shouldn't be a random person.

I don't think you should hook up with some random guy just because he wants to have sex with you. I would like to say to you it should be more special.

But I don't think it's a life altering experience.

That was someone you have deep feelings for. Because then you're setting yourself up. You're like, I've got to have deep feelings for this person. And then it's going to be life altering. And the truth is, it's not life altering. It can be life altering the first time. It's a big deal. It's a milestone in life. But it's not going to, like, rock your world the first time.

Is it?

No, no, no. It's not going to make you afraid of sex again. Were you excited to have sex again?

I was excited. Not really. I don't remember. I don't remember being excited for it. I remember being relieved that I finally had sex. I. And I'd been dating the guy for a year. I can't believe I held off that long, but I did. And I don't remember it being like, rocking my world, but I was glad that he was. Personally, I'm glad that it was with someone that I am now friends with on Facebook. Let's put it that way.

I wonder how many people I've slept with out of my Facebook friends. Uh. Oh, I could ask that question. I could ask, who have I slept with on here and see who answers. That would be kind of embarrassing though.

What was I gonna say? Oh, the person that I. That I had lost your virginity with? Yeah, I didn't want to say that, but they're not on Facebook.

How do you know? You looked them up?

Because I'm friends with their sister.

Oh, not on Facebook.

Not on Facebook.

Yeah. Okay, Sheila. So I would just say, ask yourself where you want to be and what will make you feel sexy and relaxed. With so many other people telling you what to do with your sex life, it's good to get into the habit of thinking about what you want. So again, I can't answer this for you, but just be careful and make sure it's a good guy. But don't expect all these bells and whistles, because it doesn't come that way.

Describe your first time.

My first time, I. My boyfriend, I was 17, he was 18. We'd be dating a year. He was a football player. His parents were out of town.

It's always when the Parents are out of town.

I know. And I think we had kind of planned it. It was like a Friday night. We were on his brother's waterbed.

Oh, terrible.

Why the hell would you have sex the first time on a waterbed? And who even has a waterbed?

Well, during that time. Yeah. Was it the 80s?

Yes.

Yeah, of course. Then people water.

Did they?

Yeah. No, no, no. Was it the 80s or the 90s? I guess it was the late 80s. So anyway, so, yeah, and we had sex, and it was like. I mean, it's so funny how I can remember it. Like, I remember being on the bottom and him going slow and it being passionate and feeling like it was a big deal. I don't think I bled. This is the big question. Sometimes you do bleed, sometimes you don't bleed. I don't remember, like, it being bloody, but you can always put a towel down if you're worried about that. And I just remember feeling like, oh, wow, I did it. You know, we used a condom. Unfortunately, we left the condom, and his brother found the condom tucked inside the waterbed between the mushy. Between the. What's. The waterbed and the wood.

Yeah.

And was like, what the hell? And started screaming at him for having sex in his bed.

So then he have his own bed. Why did he have to do it on the water bed?

I don't remember why he is like, baby, I'm gonna make this special. We're gonna do it in the water bed. We're gonna have aqua sex.

So how long has this guy been married? And how many kids does he have?

I do not. He's my Facebook friend, like I said. And I don't think he's married, and I don't think he has kids.

Oh, then, yeah, then you should marry this guy.

I don't think so. He did stalk me once after high school. He's not my guy, but do you.

Have his phone number?

We can call him. I don't have his phone number. We should call him one day.

Oh, I can totally get. His number's probably on Facebook.

Oh, my God. Everyone's number on Facebook. I know. Isn't that weird?

It's totally weird. I try to. I disconnect it all the time, but it keeps on popping up.

I know. They keep putting it back. Facebook, they own our lives. They own our firstborns, if we have any. Okay. Other tip that is. Would be really funny to have my first boyfriend on the phone.

Yes, I would love to talk to him.

Let's find him. He did email me on Facebook recently.

Really? Did he watch the show? Is that why?

Probably he's like, I banged that chick. I banged that chick. Yeah, I bet you a lot of guys watched it saying, I banged that chick.

Oh, my God.

No. You know, just like three or four. Okay, we need more.

Need more viewers to get season two.

We're trying to get a season two. Email Bravo TV and tell them you're. Or tweet them that you want a season two of Misadvised.

Hashtag misadvised.

Hashtag misadvised. Because it was rockin'. We had a good time. Okay, Tips for virgins. This is another email. So I'm using people's emails to explain the whole virgin thing. Dear Emily, you always talk about sex for people who are experienced. What are some tips for people who are still virgins and about to have sext sex? From James. This is from a dude. So my response to that is foreplay. Lots and lots and lots of foreplay. Fingers, tongues, toys. Not only will foreplay alleviate the tension, it will help your bodies prepare for the main event. Just so you know, women, you don't just have sex the first time without a little foreplay, without, like kissing her, going down on her, playing with her breasts. Foreplay is a huge, huge part of sex because women can't go from 0 to 60 like guys do. They don't get turned on like men do as quickly. So you need to practice your foreplay skills. You need to touch her, you need to kiss her, you need to caress her. And you also need to consider. Consider using two methods of birth control. You could try doubling up using the pill. And you should always use condoms because that makes it less scary the first time. Right? Pills and condoms. And it can be stressful losing your virginity. And anything you can do to remove the pregnancy worries from the equation is a very good idea. So the actual. The tips for people who are still virgins, I would just say again, get to know the vagina. Get down there with your mouth, with your fingers. Use some sex toys. Ask your partner what turns her on. Maybe you guys can do mutual masturbation. That's a nice prelude to actually having intercourse, is masturbating next to each other and seeing what makes each other feel good. So you know, how.

How old were you when you were put on birth control?

18.

18?

Yep.

Did you tell your mom you were having sex?

I didn't, no. You just didn't? Yeah, I think I was going away for the summer and I went to my gynecologist or something. For the first time. And I got it. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Except for my. My problem with birth control. It's not really a problem. It's nice. But my breasts grow like a full size and a half. Like they become massive. And like nothing else on me change. There is no problem. I was dating. I went back on the pill a few years ago and then I went off it again, but I was eating this guy and he was like, oh my God. I was like, I was like a porn star. Seriously, Because I'm small. I mean, I'm like small waisted and all that, but I'd like the largest breasts. You knew me at that time, you probably didn't recognize. Like I was wearing a bathing suit at a pool party and everyone was like, oh my God, did you get up thick? They thought I got a boob job. So that on some women their boobs get bigger.

Yeah.

And I almost feel like I should go back on them. So when we talk about using condoms, I have a new favorite condom. Sir Richard condoms. You can get them at Good Vibes, goodvibes.com, just go to my website, click on Good Vibrations. For every Sir Richard condom you purchase, you contribute one to a developing country. Plus, they have great plaid packaging.

Dude, why is everyone doing this now? I was just hearing something about how these glassic. So. Wow. It's Friday, everybody.

It's Friday.

I already had a couple drinks.

Did you?

No. Oh, I want to drink with you. Glass 6. Wow, something's wrong with me. Glasses.

You're working too hard and you're not sleeping enough and you're not eating well.

Yeah. Glasses manufacturer, they're doing the same thing. They make a pair and then they.

Give away a pair because they think it's gonna help business. Because like, oh, we're like a good. But I think it is a good thing, like toms.

Tom shoes are the ugliest shoes I've ever seen in my life.

They're so ugly. People buy them because they give money to whatever Africa.

Yeah, but I seen like high heels toms now. Like, you tell me like a small child in Africa is going to get high heels toms now.

No, they get proceeds. Excuse me, they get proceeds from the benefits. But I just. Yeah, I don't know. I just want a pair of Christian Louboutins Size 7. Also for first time user, first time sex, people get some lube. Lube is key. Get something to minimize the friction and your vagina will thank you in the morning. If you're a female virgin, people Think that lube is sort of something to use only if you're dry. But I would suggest using lots of lube the first time. A great lube to try is Nature Lovin Lubricants. This is now my other favorite thing. You go to naturelovinlubricants.com or just click on the honey bear on my website. It comes in a honey bear bottle. Like honey. Like you know the honey. Like your honey. When you buy honey in the store and it's in a bear, it's a bear. The lube comes in a honey bear.

And it glows in the dark, right?

It glows in the dark. It comes in a cute honey bear container, contains ingredients that help prevent HPV and contains royal jelly derived from honeybees. And part of the proceeds of their lubes go towards different organizations. So not only will you be losing your virginity, but you'll be doing good too. To the world. And I really like their lube and you know that I believe that lube should be on every night stand in America.

It was amazing.

I know. Do you want it?

Do I want the glow in the dark?

Do you use lube?

No.

No.

You know, I don't hang out with chicks that dry.

It's not about being dry. Lube is such a stigma. I hate the stigma with lube use.

I'm just joking. I would love some.

You would love it?

Look like it'd be. It'd be awesome.

Your penis would be glowing in the dark. Wow. I haven't used it yet. I'm gonna use it next time. I.

Yes, please send me some. This is something I actually want.

Oh my God. This is the first time ever you want something. Not the first, maybe the second. Okay, so the next question we have is when are you ready? And how should you communicate that? When are you ready to have sex? Now, this is from a 14 year old girl. Hi, Emily. I'm a 14 year old virgin who is ready to have sex in my opinion. I've been masturbating for some time now and would like to be able to have sex with a partner. My question is, how do I tell my parents that I'm ready for this and want to be on the pill and how do I masturbate without them knowing? Lots of love, Tristina. Okay, Tristina, you need to be really sure you're ready. 14 is a very young to make such a big decision. But I'm really glad that you're exploring your body through masturbation and it's great that you brought up birth control. Because I do think that you should. If you do start having sex, you definitely should use condoms, and you can talk about getting on the pill, But I think 14 is young, and I'm curious what the rush is. I know that you're probably really excited because masturbation feels amazing, and you're having oral orgasms, and I'm assuming. And it's great, but you can also be with men and not have sex with them. You can. You can perform oral sex. You can roll around naked. You can do everything, but you don't. And that's actually a lot of times the most fun part, the actual sex part.

You're not gonna be able to do it correctly, and you're gonna end up with a kid. You're gonna be on 16 and pregnant.

You're gonna be on 16 and pregnant. I don't. I don't condone 14 years old, honey, but I'm glad you emailed. And how do you masturbate without them knowing? I mean, you just lock your door, you shut your door. Parents walk in, though, get a hotel room. No, I just think it's great that you're masturbating. And I would say, sweetie, just keep masturbating and exploring your body and have sex when you're 20. Oh, I don't know.

Yeah.

What's the average age that people have sex now, I wonder. 16? 17?

Yeah, I think so. Which I. I think is scary. You got to wait till you're of legal age, I think. But whatever. It's your life. Do what you want.

Yeah, we're not gonna. We're not gonna.

I'm not gonna judge.

How old were you again?

I was 18.

You were 18?

I waited.

So cute.

I waited till I was 18. Of age? Of age?

Of age, yeah.

So what's going on in your life lately?

Lately? My life. Sexually or just in general? In general, it's good. I've been having some sex, and things are going well in our relationship. I do feel like I need more time. And alone.

You're about to say space.

I like to be alone. I need to clean my apartment, walk my dog, do stuff like that. And I feel like being in a relationship, sometimes you lose. You don't have time for anything. Like, I haven't hung out with friends. I haven't done anything, so. But things are good. He's just awesome guy. Like, literally, like, I can't believe how awesome he is. So I like him. What about you?

That's good. Me, I am just figuring out how to balance Time. I feel like I've been doing that for a while, but now I have like really two big new things in my life that are taking up a lot of time and I just gotta figure out how to balance that. But I'm, I'm happy that these things happen.

I'm happy for you too. I was talking about you, today's career stuff.

And I'm happy it's happened. Just figuring out like a happy balance, that's hard.

Life is all about trying to find balance. And it's really hard.

I try something when I do something or try something new. I like going crazy in full force. And I have like two full time things that I'm trying to balance and figure out.

Oh, honey.

But I really want to. I, I don't want to crash and burn.

No, no. I think you might.

You think?

What can you do to. To levit? A lot of people listening can relate to that. Oh, good.

Research today how to make what I'm doing easier.

How? What, what?

Like just, you know, prioritizing, prioritizing, you know, figuring out programs that can do things for me that I don't have to manually do things.

Like what? Anything good. It's all technical stuff.

It's like technical nerd stuff. It's like, like, so I. One job I do like online marketing, right? Through social networking. And I do it manually. Like I manually research every single thing. Freaking thing. But there's programs out there that will like research it for you.

And you found those programs.

And I like smart. And I looked and see which programs that would help me.

Right? That's good. That's smart.

So that's gonna help alleviate a lot of my time, you know. So I need to make you calm down a little bit.

Right?

It's just like when every. I don't know with me or if I'm different than other people, but like when I get into a new position, I want to show like I can make a difference. And the problem is I always want to show that I can make a difference right away.

Right. Right.

Week one. I want to show everyone like, you're.

Such a hard worker and you're so hard on yourself.

I want to do this and then like so everything, like fun and everything outside of work just like kind of just like goes away. And I don't focus on any of that kind of stuff.

I know, but you gotta, you gotta be. Can't be so hard on yourself.

I have to, I gotta.

But you don't have to be. Success in the first week. No one expects That I don't know.

But that's what I put so much pressure on myself.

I know you do. You've been doing that a long time. And that's what I was thinking on my elevator right up is that how long has this been going on? This pressure to succeed and to work hard. And that's all I ever think about. Like, my mind defaults towards work. Like a lot of people's mind defaults towards food or defaults towards their boyfriend or their girlfriend or defaults towards nature or running or whatever exercise. Mind's like, work, work, work.

Yeah. And what. What sucks is for what we do. What we do is amazing. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. But it's not like a normal job. It all comes down to numbers. How many times has your podcast been downloaded? How many times has somebody tuned into the radio?

Right.

And has this many people tuned in at this hour? Or what are you doing wrong here?

Or right.

Oh, this many people didn't visit this website this week than they did the week before. It's just like constantly, just like, it's always a number game.

That stressed me out just now.

I know that you have. That's the stuff that we deal with. And I know being on the radio is amazing and it's fun, but that's like, that's the stressful part of it.

It is stressful. And radio is not typically that affirming. No, they're never like, great job, great show. It's always like, you fucked up. You sucked here. Yeah. Did something bad here. You know?

And then you don't know if you have a job week to week.

Right.

It's crazy.

It is crazy, honey, but you've hung in a long time and you're doing good work.

Insane.

That's good. Okay, so we've got a little more Virgin stuff here.

Virgin.

Virgin stuff.

Can I talk about Virgin America real quick? Yeah, keep on bringing.

We love Virgin America.

Best airline.

Oh, my God. You can watch television and calls.

And when you're rich and famous. Can you send me on a first class flight to Tokyo, Japan, on Virgin?

Yes.

Will you please?

Yes. How much is that?

About 14 grand.

Oh, my God.

But you're rich. You'll be rich.

I'm going to be so rich. Everybody go download my podcast and download my iPhone app when you're a big.

Television talk show star.

How much will I make? How much does Dr. Drew make?

Dr. Drew? Well, Dr. Drew, he does a lot of things. He's like, he does everything.

I was on a show yesterday what.

Was the H and l?

It was HLN. Do you know the HLN channel?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I was on the HLN channel. Dr. Drew has a show, and it was about your marriage. How to spice up your marriage.

Yeah.

And it was fun.

Yeah, he. I mean, he has a radio show. He does a couple different shows. I know MTV stuff. Dr. Drew is like.

But he's doing well. Yeah. I like him so much. He's like the Ryan Seacrest of doctors or whatever.

Yeah, yeah.

Doctors advice shows. So I did that. And I was also on the doctor's television show a few weeks ago. You can check it all out on my website. It's all cool.

And we also do a video version of this show.

Oh, yeah, let's talk about that for a second.

It's five cameras, and it's. All the videos are all up on sexwith.com you can watch them. And also, every Tuesday at 6pm Pacific Standard Time, we do it live, so. Live from 6pm to 7pm and you can actually call in and ask us questions.

Right. It's@t radiov.com.

Yeah. Tradiov.com. sF if you're SF.

Okay. Or go to my website, saxwithemily. And you can see all the video podcasts. You can see what we look like. And we look pretty good.

We do. I don't know what they do with the cameras over there, but do we look good?

I haven't watched it.

Really? Yes, you look good.

I miss just saying that because we're cute.

You look good on it. I don't.

Better than usual. Maybe I should walk around with the camera. Oh, I did that already.

All right.

Okay. So, yeah, so T. Radio Visa on Tuesdays. What else do we have? We've got. Just got hundreds of podcasts that you could easily download and listen to anytime if you want to improve your sex life, which I'm sure you do. Okay. Will it be good? This is another question. I. Emily, I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 28. I am still a virgin, and he is not, of course. He said once that he. He said once that he appreciates my virginity. How is it going to be? Will I be able to satisfy him when he's been satisfied by many other experienced women before me? What will he be thinking of me? Will he be looking to satisfy me or will be he looking for his own satisfaction? He says I'm the first woman he loves this much, and what he's feeling towards me, he has never felt before me. So he sees that I'm his first true love. What can you say to calm me and advise from Rim? Okay, Rim, I think he sounds like a sweetheart. And I would say, I mean, I want to believe that you are his true love. He said that to you? That sounds really nice. And I would just get out of your head. All the women maybe that he's been with before, that they're more experienced and you're not going to know what you're doing. If he's a kind, gentle soul, he recognizes that you're a virgin, it's your first time, and hopefully he'll be making it all about you and your pleasure and your safety and that you feel good and that you're doing okay. Okay. And. And I would just say that don't worry about what you need to be doing. I mean, yes, you could, please. For, like I always say, foreplay, huge part of sex. You can, you know, perform oral sex on him. You can ask him what he likes, but I wouldn't worry about, like, doing some major performance. Forget everything you've ever seen in porn. If you've watched porn, that is not how to learn how to have sex. Pornography does not teach us the right moves because pornography is made for a visual medium for men who like to watch certain things happen. And a lot things that you see in porn do not actually feel good or make sense sexually. So I would just say if you're concerned about seeing clumsy or inexperienced, just relax. You'll probably worry less if you sleep with someone you're comfortable with and who, you know, has a sense of humor. And I also recommend that you masturbate. Hopefully you have had an orgasm. Not hopefully, but if you haven't had an orgasm before that you learn to masturbate or that you masturbate and you learn how to have an orgasm. So then you can show your partner during sex.

That's very important.

It's very important, right? To know it is important.

It's a very important process of the whole act. And look, everyone does it. Don't worry about it. Everyone.

I don't remember having all this worry about it, but I probably did, I'm sure, because people.

You know why when you're younger, people make fun of it on the school.

They do. They're like, oh, I'm a virgin.

No, no, not the virgin, but the whole. I'm saying to practice. Oh, with the masturbation. People, like, are brutal about masturbation.

Why would they say jokes?

Oh, you got caught jacking off.

No, I don't remember that.

I don't Know, it was like really. It was a very big topic on the playground when I was younger.

Right.

Masturbation.

Okay.

And how people would make fun of people.

But was it mostly making fun of guys masturbating and not women?

Yeah, like we. Because guys are dumb. They don't think women masturbate.

But I didn't know that women, I. I believe it or not, ironically, did not masturbate till I was like 19. It didn't even occur to me. I never even thought to touch myself. I wasn't even like. I never got turned on in that way. Girl.

The girls never talked about it with you?

No. The girls never talked. No one.

My mom never thought about.

That's what I wish they. Nothing.

Banana?

Nothing.

Pickle?

No.

Carrot?

No.

Really?

Nothing. I didn't even know. Nothing. Like I thought like, God, I mean, maybe you just get turned on and you just naturally would touch yourself, but I obviously, I don't know what the hell's wrong with me, but. Oh, you know what I've been watching on tv, I've watched the entire season. You watch something the entire season, you're gonna have a friggin heart attack. I don't watch tv.

Here comes Honey Boo Boo.

No. What is that?

It's an amazing show.

Where did I just read about it?

Because it's all over the place.

Which channel is it on?

It's on tlc. I tweet about it all the time.

Okay. Never heard of it. I watch Girls on hbo.

Yes.

Have you seen it?

Shut up.

Have you talked to me about it? I forget.

Shut up. How many times? Oh my God.

You want to murder me?

I've mentioned it on this show a billion times.

Amazing. I watched all episodes last Sunday.

I cannot believe that you're just asking me if I seen Girls. How come I have mentioned it on this show of a billion times.

How did I miss it? It's she Lena Dunham, listeners. She's. She wrote it and directs it and stars in it.

She does all the commentary after. I love it.

I love it.

It's so good.

It's like Sex and the City, but real. Like struggling. I hate when everyone compares everything to Sex and the City. But it's like Women in their 20s struggling in Brooklyn trying to make it. It's so real and the characters are so interesting. I love it.

It's so good.

Okay, so what should I watch next? Cuz I'm really into my television now.

What? Just right now I'm just watching ridiculous television.

There's nothing good that's all you watch. But no, but I haven't seen anything in 20 years.

I'm watching like big Ang. And you're not gonna like big now.

What will I like though? Tell me something like girls.

Like girls. I'm not watching anything like that right now.

But that you've seen historically. Are there other good HBO shows?

Yeah, how to make it America. Maybe that's still on On Demand. It got canceled, but it's really good. Okay, you would, I think you would really like it. Okay, write it down. How to make it in America.

It's on hbo.

Yeah, it got canceled though.

Why would they do that then? It won't be on.

But no, it should be. It might be.

No, they usually just friggin do the stuff that they're gonna renew. Yeah, because they don't. Because they are like, why would I want you to watch the show if we're not bringing it back?

Terrible. It was a good show too.

Yeah. That's my only recommendations. I'm sorry, I'll do some research.

Do some research because I'm really just.

Like right now watching shocked, ridiculous television.

Like what? Like the Kardashians go to Hawaii?

Kardashians? No, they go to like, you know, Tahiti or something.

Right.

And then I watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Then I watch.

What the hell is that about?

Okay, so there was a television show called Toddlers and Tiaras.

Right, I've heard of that.

Okay. And then there was one, there was one kid that she went by Honey Boo Boo.

Right?

And then she would say Honey Boo Boo child. Like that was her like, right, her, her saying. And her mom was like super crazy. So then she got her own spin off show. And so this spin off show is. They call each other white trash. So I can say white trash. They're like really like hickish. And so they have a show called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. And it just follows their lives and you know, their day to day and how just the little girl wants to be in pageants and stuff like that.

Okay.

It's, it's, it is hilarious. It is really a good insight on middle America.

Okay, got it. Where do they live? Like Michigan or something, which is where.

I'm from, Tennessee or something.

Got it.

Okay, I gotta check it out. It's on tlc.

I'm watch TV tonight maybe. Okay.

Every time I mention it, people said they become addicted.

No way. I want to be addicted. Okay. Some other stuff about virginity, about losing your V card. We got to wrap this, this part of it up real quick.

No, sorry.

No, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Not too.

Dad.

Real quick, listeners of this show, if you can find the times that I mentioned Girls, please email the show. Say what episodes I've mentioned. Like how many times I've mentioned there's.

Been hundreds of episodes. But have you.

If people can recollect when I met TV show Girls, I do remember. Heard me saying it before. No, don't do it. Or they said. Or at least say, oh, yeah, I heard Menace mention the TV show Girls. Email the show.

Was it like a year ago?

I hope that you're gonna laugh.

How many years ago did you mention Emily?

Say, have you heard of this TV show Girls?

I didn't say, have you heard of it. I said I watched it. I knew that you had watched it.

Yeah, right. Don't try to backtrack. Or what are you, a politician?

Okay, so listen, let's finish this up. Some other stuff about losing your V card. Not every guy is going to be a jerk about wearing condoms. It's a myth that dudes all want to get out of wearing condom. If a guy is pressuring you to bare back, lose him. Always use a condom. Always, always, always. Like, it prevents sexually transmitted diseases. I don't care if he pulls out. You've got to use a condom. You do not want to be 16 and pregnant. Okay, you might bleed or you might not. Some people don't bleed at all their first time, but some bleed a lot. And you might want to be prepared. Putting a towel down beforehand is always an option.

Or do it on a dark sheet. A word on drinking. Oh, no. There is an argument for being drunk your first time. And that is everything hurts less when you're wasted. That's what Menace thinks about sex.

But I think I do endorse drunken sex. I like it, but not for your first time. No way.

Do not be drunk your first time.

Something you want to remember.

Keep in mind that sex is best when you're sober enough to feel something at least once you get past the whole virginity thing. So I hope that sheds some light on virginity for people because literally, like, so many. So many questions about it. And I was just like, I want to help the world have good sex. And I want you all, like, your takeaway message to be here is, like, not to trip on it because no one's expecting you to be this perfect performer. And just be in the moment. Focus on your breath. Breath is a really important part of sex. And so if you're like, in your head and you're like, what's he thinking? And should I have my porn face on and do I look fat? And if you're like in your mind and you're obsessing about all these things, it's not going to be a good experience. So just be connected with your partner. Look each other in the eyes, go with it, all that stuff. Have connected sex.

Yes.

Don't be tripping. Cause a lot of these people, a lot of these emails, people are tripping you.

They're overthinking things.

I know everyone overthinks things, so I just don't want them to overthink it. So that is what we've got for you today. And I am so happy that it is Friday. Tgif, everyone. I've got an iPhone app. It is called Kegel Camp. Kegel exercises improve your sex life for men and for women. It will help you have longer, stronger orgasms. It'll help you with premature ejaculation. You do the exercise five minutes, three minutes a day, and you use the app three minutes a day. And it's called Kegel Camp. You can download it for your iPhone and you should check it out because it's really important for your sexual health and wellbeing. And it reminds you to do them and it walks you through it because doctors always tell you that you should do them, but you never remember to do them them. So it's a very useful, popular app. Yes. Okay. Anything else you'd like to add menace on this Friday?

Well, thank you for listening to us on XM Radio.

It's so fun. If you hear us on XM, email me feedbackswithemily.com.

If you have a mobile phone and you're not by a computer to listen to the show, you can download an app. It's called Stitcher. It's S T I T C H E R. It's totally free. It's for Android. It's even for your iPad or your tablet.

It's an easy way to listen to podcasts, if you love podcasts.

Easy as well.

How many. How many podcasts have. 10,000 podcasts on any topic under the sun.

Oh. Anything you can think of, literally.

And you just. You don't even have to download it through itunes. You can just stream it on your phone and then it's done.

Yeah.

Which is the best way to listen?

All you gotta do is either type in sex to Emily or just sex.

Just sex. We come up first.

Yeah.

Don't we?

Yeah. Yeah. It'll pop right up.

We pop right up.

And then you can just start streaming the show on the go and then you can like. You know what I do when I'm with my friends? We plug it into the car and we listen.

Do you listen to Sex with Emily?

Yeah.

Shut up. Swear with your friends?

Yeah.

Do they like it?

They like it.

That's so funny because I never listen to the show after, but I think I'd be better if I did. I think it would help me with my life. But I'm gonna work on it. Okay, everyone. So that's what I got for you. Yeah, check out our podcast. Check out our blog. We're updating it every day, few times a day with more information and stuff like. And so you gotta check it out at sex with emily.com and.

And what? Did you mention the 101 sex tip?

Yeah. I've got an app called 101 sex tips from sex with Emily. You can also down that it will spice up your sex life. My book is hot sex over 200 things you can try tonight that will spice up your sex life as amazing pictures. So that's what we got for you. Thanks everyone for listening to us. Have a great weekend. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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