SWE: Maturbation Memoirs

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cuz my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God. That feels so good. Me and bed feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind.

Of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where we answer all your sex questions. If you want to improve your sex life, you will become a Friends with benefits member. So you get multiple shows a week and you get. We're doing special seminars with our friends benefits members and we've got all these. All these great things. So we appreciate you and we appreciate everyone. I Hope you. Everyone's doing well and had a great weekend. We are talking about masturbation today, and it's a special show. I've got Tiana, who works with me, and Kelsey, my assistant. Hi, guys. How are you?

Hello.

We thought that we would do a show. We're talking about masturbation. We're gonna learn a little bit about female masturbation, which can be elusive to some men, and also mutual masturbation. Mutual mutual masturbation is one of my favorite tips for couples on how to improve their sex life. Because I think that if you are confused or confounded by how to turn your girlfriend on or your boyfriend on, if you actually watch them do it to themselves, then you kind of know, oh, he likes the tip rub than the chat or whatever it is. You pick up little tips and, oh, she rubs her clitoris on the outside of the clitoris. You pick up tips. You just do. So everyone should try a little mutual masturbation. We've got some toys that work with that, and we're going to be talking about that. We're going to be talking about our own personal experience with masturbation today, aren't we?

Yes, unfortunately.

We're going to get into it. We're going to get into it. I'll share my own personal experiences and a few things I have to tell you. Is Valentine's Day not too far away? It's less than a month away. Adam and Eve has an awesome deal right now. They've got. You get the Kim. First of all, you get 50% off most items. You get the Kim Kardashian sex tape dvd. You get a free mystery gift, free shipping, all that with coupon code Emily at checkout. And we're gonna be going over some of their toys today that you can buy. So do that. And we've got a new poll on our website. It is. How long do you think foreplay should last? A, what foreplay? B, 5 minutes, C, 15 minutes, D, 45 minutes, E, all night long, baby. What do you guys think? Tiana, what do you think?

I would say.

Foreplay being like kissing. Oral.

Oral kissing.

45. I guess I would want to kiss for a little bit.

Well, I don't know.

It depends what mood I'm in. But then I would want to do oral for a little while, right? Both ways, right?

Good. 45 minutes sounds about right. Yeah.

I would also say 45 minutes. I mean, it depends. Sometimes you just like one.

Sometimes you just want to have a quickie or you just want to bang. But I Think that closer. Yeah, you gotta talk close to that. Mike, I think that we. I think that a lot of we've talked about this today for 45 minutes is about right. And I know, like, if men of us is here, he'd be like, oh, my God, 45 minutes. I haven't done 45 minutes in my entire life, cumulatively, of oral, of foreplay. So I think. I think that's important. So go vote. Go vote on our site. And I'm also giving away a couple copies of my book, hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. So if you're in your relationship, you're a little stumped. You're trying to figure out, God, what can I do to improve it? Actually, I was seeing this woman the other day. She does my eyebrows. I was getting my eyebrows plucked. That's what I do. And she was like. She whispers to me, and she's like, emily. She's like, why does the sex go away after a while? I've been with my boyfriend for two years and, like, what can we do to spice it up? And I ran back to my car and I gave her a copy of the book because there's 200 things, and I'm like, just do one of these things and you'll be fine. So it is the kind of thing that helps people, and we want them to be helped. So how we doing here? We good with everything? Okay, let's get into sex and the news. And then we're getting into some masturbation like you've never heard it before, because it's going to be real stories from real people. My real people here. Okay, Sex and the news. Kim Kardashian breaks down. She says, I'm just so unhappy. So last night, she broke down an episode of Kourtney and Kim take New York as she started to question whether marrying Kris Humphries was the right thing to do. I'm just so. I'm just so unhappy. I don't like who I am in this marriage. I don't like who I am to him. I don't like who I am to myself. My gut and my heart is telling me I did this too fast. Duh. I guess everyone's talking about it now. We all know what happened, but now it's so funny that she did this reality show and had it all recorded. And we, like. It's like we can watch the demise. Like, we know exactly now why they got divorced, like, if we care. But you can watch it all in Courtney and Kim.

Maybe she recorded it after everything happened all of a sudden.

Well, no, it was recorded during. During the relationship. It was real. Like, he was kind of a jerk. You saw it? Have you seen it all?

I haven't.

Yeah, I've seen a little bit of it. And he looks like a jerk, kind of. He's young. I think they're young. No, don't get married before 30. I guess Kim's 30, but he's like 27. Just nobody got married before 30 ever. Okay. And obviously, I think this is probably a good show to watch now because you're watched. Everyone knows they broke up. And you can see all the things he did. I saw one episode, and he was just being a jerk. Like, she's like, don't have in my room when I'm out of town. And he did. And just jerky things like that.

Okay, you're team Kim.

I'm team Kim. No, I'm not. I'm not team Any. I'm not.

Any other teams for the Kardashians?

No, no. But she did move too quickly, and it was so obvious to the rest of the world. Okay, you can now hire a wingman. You can now hire a professional wingman or wing woman. Susan Baxter, founder of Hire a Boston Wing Woman, told the Journal that her services allow clients to see past initial judgments by meeting women in person. $130 fee gets clients 2 hours of time with their Boston wingleman, during which time she helps her shy client break the ice with women, facilitating conversation and genuinely making them look good. Now I do this for all my guy friends. I get them all laid.

I think you should become a professional wing woman.

I know if this Sex Emily thing doesn't work out, maybe, maybe you could rent my services.

Benefit the friends with benefits.

That's a good idea. If you're a Friends with benefits member and you would like me to be your wing woman, maybe I could do it. Because I'm telling you, I have one or two guy friends. And they're like, if it wasn't for. Wouldn't have gotten laid. Because I love them. They're my guy friends. And I'm like, you guys are amazing. And we'll be out. And I'd be like, and when they see you with. When they see you with a girl, like, when other women, like, they see me with these guys, and then they seem more approachable because they're hanging out with the woman. And then I go up and I'm like, oh, yeah, my friends are awesome. And we all start talking, and I bridge it and Then they end up banging them. So it's like a good thing. Do you guys do that with your friends?

Every time I have a friend, he's one of my good guy friends and he specifically wants me to go out with him on the town because every time he pulls all the. And the girls will be really nice to me, like, oh. Cause you know they want him.

Right, Exactly.

And I'm like, oh God.

But it says something to a woman that a guy can be friends with a woman and a woman is helping him out. Like a woman is there helping her out. So that's good.

If you have a wing woman, you will get laid quicker and better.

But it's a good service and I would totally do it for my friends and benefits members. Okay. Jessica Biel ditches her engagement ring at the 2012 and Golden Globes. Did you guys watch the Golden Globes last night?

I missed it.

I did too.

I watched a little bit of it. She looked beautiful in a lace gown on the red carpet. But the 29 year old actress was missing her engagement ring. We all want to see it. That's the second night she stepped out without the ring. Probably because she didn't want to draw attention to it. But she did get on stage and I did see her delivery, her presentation and she was holding her hands behind her back like this. Like she probably knew everyone would be like looking at her ring.

Yeah.

So she obviously.

Maybe she did that on purpose.

She did like, beautiful. Her dress was a little saggy, but it was pretty. She's beautiful. She really is.

I'm really glad they're getting married.

Yeah. But then I read this thing because now you know me, I'm becoming a pop culture junkie. I read, I read this thing in like People magazine that like he's a. Or in touch or one of those things that he's such a player like that his, his reputation is that he's the biggest player. And like, will she be able to tame him? Like it's only going to be temporary and then he's gonna like cheat on.

Well, he got like super heartbroken with Britney Spears and then after that, because he wasn't like that before when he.

Was in singing 15 years ago or something.

Yeah, but I mean, like he was a little like, like he was more sweet, you know, like he was with Britney and then Britney broke his heart and then he got all like, quieter status.

Yeah, but that was so long ago. But you know what, A lot of our issues stem from very early on romantic relationships or sexual relationships. So Like, a lot of times, like, things that happen to us when we're younger, like, you get hardened around those things and you never really change.

I think it got jaded.

He got totally jaded.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe. But he's also hot.

Yeah.

I mean, he's Justin Timberlake. Like, he could sing, he could dance. He's funny. He's as an snl. He created a vodka. Like, in clothing. Like, he does everything. He's pretty awesome. Okay, Lindsay Lohan is a mess. What's not a shock and crashes Weinstein party. Okay, so Lindsay Lohan wasn't nominated for anything, but she decided to crash a party she wasn't even invited to. The Weinstein company hosted a pre Golden Globes party at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles, and Lohan snuck in through the hotel's back entrance. This isn't her first time. She got kicked out of a Marc Jacobs Fashion Week party where she threw a glass. That's kind of sad that Lindsay Lohan's sneaking into parties now. She should just stay in rehab for like a year.

She's just a hot mess.

She is a total hot mess.

She needs to get a priority history. I bet she went to rehab like 10 times.

She did. Sometimes it takes a while for it to stick, you know, you need to, like, be in rehab for, like, a really long time sometimes.

Maybe she should stop drinking.

Yeah, I know. Hasn't she stopped drinking, though?

I don't know. Apparently not. She's crashing parties and throwing glasses.

I guess not in the back, but how embarrassing is that? Like, everyone knows she wasn't invited and she's like, excuse me, excuse me, to the waiters in the back because she's trying to get through, like, the, you know, the food and stuff. Oh, God, poor Lindsay.

Okay, I know.

I feel bad for her too. So, okay, we've got some emails from listeners that you emailed me@feedbackexwithamily.com there's also a really cool new feature on our website, or feature. It's been there. Ask Emily. You can ask directly to the website. So this one is about Kaggle Camp, which is my popular iPhone app that you should download ASAP for men and women. It helps them strengthen their PC muscles. So anyway, Emily, I've been through the Kaggle Camp program several times. What can I do to further strengthen the PC muscles? What about doing two sessions back to back? Any suggestions? Thanks, James. Yes, James, we're actually releasing an update of Kaggle Camp, hopefully in the next month. And it will be. You can do four further Sessions back to back. You can do more sessions a day. You can, yeah, do it back to back until, I mean, if you experience any pain, you should obviously talk to your doctor. But if you've gone through it several times, I would try increasing the sessions. I would try to increase the ones that have you go slower and the ones that go faster. It's actually my voice dictating you through the kaggle camp exercises. Like I say things like, contract, release, contract. Good job that I have it. Yeah, you have it. Do you ever listen to it? Yeah. And then that's, I would say sessions back to back. There's also like, I'm not sure exactly that you want to strengthen the PC muscles. I'm not sure if you're having any issues with premature ejaculation. But there's also the stop start method which also helps your PC muscles. If you want to get your, if you want to masturbate to the point, to the point you're about, to the point of no return, to the point where you feel like you're about to orgasm and you stop yourself and you do it again and you stop yourself. That will also help strengthen your PC muscles. But stick with Kyle Camp. Wait.

So what do you think about the stop and start method during sex, though?

It's amazing. It totally works for men. If men are premature ejaculators, stop and start method during sex is great.

I just had a friend though once and some guy did that and it was like every five seconds.

Oh yeah.

Though he was, he'd be like, wait, wait.

Oh yeah.

Like, okay, go and be like, wait.

I've totally been with that guy and it's a little annoying, but you shouldn't stop start every five seconds. Although the guys that are premature ejaculators, like my, my ex from years ago who was the minute, literally he was like the 56 second man. He wasn't even a minute man. And he'd be like, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, don't move. Like, yeah, totally. I was there, I was there. And that is a bummer. And what you can do is, is you do these stop start methods on your own. So when you're home, mast as a guy, you bring yourself to the point that you're about to come and then you stop yourself and you build it up because then you really fine tunely recognize that point where you're about to orgasm. So during sex, you know when to stop. That guy that you've been with, that your friend went with and that I was with, they need a Little more exercise and a little more help. Because it is annoying when.

And men can do Kegel camp exercises.

Kegels are for women and men. In fact, I think we've heard from more men than women, which is surprising.

I need to forward some emails to some people.

You should. You guys, you should. It's popular app, Mega Camp App.

This is recommended by Tiana.

Exactly, exactly. Be like, don't say anything about. You say like, oh. To the premature ejaculator that you're with. Be like, hey, buddy, had a couple.

Like, they were just. It was quick. And they were like, how quick? They got embarrassed.

Yeah, they do get embarrassed. You gotta make them feel like it's fine.

And I go, oh, it's okay.

But really, I'm like, right, exactly. It's totally always a bummer. But it's. It's not. It's something that men can actually improve. And I always talk about this book. The Multi Orgasmic man is the ultimate book. You could probably get it on like the Kindle now or the iPad or whatever.

But they always give me one excuse. And I really think men should not use this excuse. I haven't had sex in a while.

Oh yeah? Why didn't you masturbate beforehand? Right?

Have you heard that?

I understand.

Because masturbation, which we're talking about, actually helps guys a lot. Like, I know guys who cannot orgasm during sex because of masturbation.

Right?

So maybe they need to practice more masturbation.

Pre game. Pre game. Masturbate more. Masturbate more. And practice a stop start method. That's absolutely what you have to do. And we are getting more into masturbation. Some intimate masturbation stories coming up. Okay. Hey, Emily. Menace. Is this gay? So here's the deal. I linked up with an ex girlfriend from high school and she still looks as hot as she did then. We're both 30. Ish. We meant we were 17. But now she's saying she's more experimental. She's only into guys that seem kind of gay or that open to being bi. Curious. Now comes the question if I kind of play the gay role. Even consider it a threesome with two men? Unfortunately for this girl. Does this make me seem gay? Keep in mind she is a 10 on the 1 to 10 scale. It feels like if both guys were into her, it wouldn't be weird. But she's being open to the experience. Seems kind of gay body. Would I ever go about doing it? Should I be worried to menace? Is it worth it? Thanks, Matt. In San Diego, we could Read this tomorrow, too. But I'd be. I'd be. You know what? I wouldn't just. If you're uncomfortable with this situation, this is not something I would jump into. Being in a threesome with another guy and a woman just because you like this chick, like, just because she's your old high school friend or ex girlfriend from high school. I would not say this makes you gay at all. Or maybe. I mean, you're not hooking up with the guy. I presume that you're just going to focus on the chick. I don't know if you have plans to do a little reach around or touch the guy's balls or anything, but that might make you curious. I don't like that. The little reach around. I don't like to label it, so I don't want to say anything. But if you're open to the experience and it's not making you feel too uncomfortable, I wouldn't worry about labels because that's what stops people. Like, oh, I seem gay. I'm gonna see that. But it might be a really pleasurable experience. I don't know.

It kind of seems, though, like she's using this as. It's kind of a rejection in a way. I don't know. Like, I'm only into guys that are like this. Like, he doesn't fit a certain category that she.

Yeah. And she's. He's trying to change himself for her, and that's what makes me uncomfortable. If this is really outside your box, like, sometimes it's good to do things sexually that are outside your box. I think you push yourself. You're like, I'd never do that. And then you do it, and it's like, wow. But if this is something that really makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn't. I mean, it sounds like she's not ready to get into a monogamous relationship or anything.

Sounds like a girl that's from San Francisco.

I know. Does she live here? Do we know her? No, you're in San Diego, but I don't know if you're interested in it. I would do it, but I wouldn't worry about the labels.

I hate when people say that they're open, but they still make categories.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, oh, I only want men that are bicarious. But it's like, I don't know.

Yeah, I know. Gosh, you should move here, because seriously, every guy's bicarious. Bisexual.

Yeah. I can't even. You can't see, I be guys, and I don't even know if they're gay anymore.

Exactly. They probably are. I just assume they're gay unless proven straight. In this town. I'm like, you're probably gay unless you prove me that you're straight and that's what you do and then you're safe.

Or bye.

Or bye. Yeah, a lot of bi. A lot of bi. And I don't know what to do with that. Right. It's like, bye. Like, would you rather have a penis inside you? Do you want me to penetrate you with a dildo in the ass? What do they want?

Yeah, I don't, I don't feel like I'm into that for some reason. It's not that I'm not open minded. It's just weird to me.

Yeah, it's just. It is, it is kind of weird if you're, if you're a woman used to being with heterosexual man and to know that he was sucking a penis last night could make you feel a little uncomfortable. I'm just saying. Okay, porn. This one's about porn. Hi Emily. I was on Facebook yesterday when I noticed that two of my exes like this story called web porn is killing my libido. I often watch porn and masturbate. I think it may have led to an early end for both relationships. Sometimes sex just feels like I'm going through the motions. I just thought that my performance issues were due to stress, my past use of Prozac or lack of attraction to the girls. I haven't felt strongly sexual in a while. Do you think porn's a problem? How should I stop or cut down on my porn viewing? This is from Gilbert from Burnberry bc. He's a premium Friends with Benefits member. As you know, if you're a Friends with Benefits member, we answer your emails right away. Okay, here is the deal.

First of all, Prozac. If you said your past use of Prozac, how past use? How long did you use it? Because if you've been off it for a few months, that's fine. But if you just went off it, Prozac, definitely. All SSRIs for depression or anxiety that people take have a huge impact on your sex life. So it can kill your, kill your libido, but you still want to masturbate. I would say I don't think that porn is a. People like them are always asking if porn's a problem. Porn's only a problem if it's like wreaking havoc on your life on your day to day life. Are you not going to work anymore? Are you doing porn instead of visiting your friends. Are you? Whatever. But I would try sticking away. I would try. Like maybe you haven't been attracted to these girls, but how often are you. It says you often watch porn and masturbate. That's so normal. Like to often. I don't know if you're doing it 10 times a day. If you are doing it 10 times a day, I would try to cut back. But if you're even doing it once a day or three times a week, I don't think there's a problem. But you haven't felt strongly sexual for a while. I would talk to your doctor. I think that's a good time to get a checkup. You never know what's going on with you. Are you taking any blood pressure medication? Are you taking anything else? There's a lot of different things that we do. How's your diet? There's a lot of things in your life that can impact your libido, I think also you said you're stressed and stress is number one for men. So if you're going under a lot of stress, you took Prozac. It just sounds, maybe you're depressed. That could be it. And porn's a sure thing. Of course you can get off with porn, but with a woman you have to have intimacy and a connection. And maybe you just haven't felt like opening up to someone in a while. So I would suggest therapy. Doctor, look into it. Take some time focusing on yourself. But I wouldn't worry. I don't think it's the porn that's preventing you from wanting to get turned on by these women.

Yeah, I agree. I think the porn's probably the least of his problems.

I love porn. I think it's healthy.

Yeah, porn's good. Porn is our friend. Okay, so should we do one more question? Let's get to the topic. Let's get to the topic because we're. Have fun here with the topic. Okay. Masturbation. Okay. Masturbation. Mutual masturbation can be a five minute quickie or a night of extravagant romance. Whatever you decide. Now here's why I'm a huge fan of mutual masturbation, like I said earlier is because you can. It's hot to watch your partner masturbate. To get off, like to see what he does, what she does. And then you can learn from each other. You can use his hands on your body, her hands on her body, whatever it is. And teach each other what feels good. Put your hand over his hand. So it's. It's a great way to deal with your different sex drives. Also, if you're both not into it, you can just masturbate. And that sometimes works. And it teaches you what your partner likes, and it can also really raise a level of intimacy. It's a really intimate thing to be sitting there with your partner masturbating. Like, the faces you make and the things you do. You're like, I don't want anyone to watch me do that. But it really. It really opens up a lot in your relationship, and it helps you get comfortable with your body. Also, it's a big thing. Like, if you are not that comfortable with masturbation or with showing your whole body to your partner, this should be a way to do it. So have you guys ever experienced with mutual masturbation?

Yeah, definitely.

Would you like to tell me about one of your experiences and how it worked for your relationship?

Yeah, I mean, I've done the usual, just. You both masturbate together. I think I did a lot of that in high school. I don't know. I thought I was really cool when I'd be like, hey, wanna masturbate? And they'd be like, could you get.

Off with the guy in high school?

No, no, I didn't get off in high school. But now I kinda took it to the next level five years later and do the whole. The sex toy.

Yes, the sex toy.

And so I use my Hitachi magic wand in front of my boyfriend and while he fingers me.

That's awesome.

So I guess is that.

That's mutual masturbation. Oh, yeah. The Hitachi magic wand, as we've said, is the Mack chalk of all vibrators. It's an amazing vibrator. And I. You know, Kelsey, I have to say that you're ahead of me in that I love my. You know that mine's drilled into my wall permanently, and I've still not used it with. Not with, like, a current guy, like, a lot. I know, I know. I'm afraid that they're gonna be. They love it. They love the vibration. Tell him why. The vibration feels good on his penis as well. Right. Okay. It's really.

The Hitachi is, like this gigantic vibrator, so it's really hard to, like, move around while you're having sex. So you basically just do, like, doggy style. And dudes love doggy style. They're like.

They love it, right?

They, like, always want to do it. So it's that doggy style for them. You're having more fun and there's vibrations, right?

And the men and the thing with Hitachi is, now we say it's really big. We don't mean it's big and scary. It is bigger than your penis, but it's not. Doesn't even look like a penis. It's not about insertion. It's a massager. It's basically like a back massage use on your clitoris, which is amazing. Whenever we talk about it, I just want to go home and get mine, like, in the moment. So that was good. That was. So that's a little mutual masturbation. Have you used it in front of him where you're masturbating yourself and he's masturbating? Okay. And then also for men, there's masturbation sleeves you can buy Tenga masturbation sleeves. Those are for men. They're like a jelly thing. Do we talk about some of those in here? For the masturbation sleeves for.

You should be able to get, like, flashlights from Adam and Eve.

Yeah. The Fleshlight is like. Or the Pocket Pussy. Those are sex toys for male masturbation. Masturbation toys for women. Hitachi, Magic Wand, the Rabbit and the Bullet. We'll get into that in a minute. So, Tiana, what about you? Any. Any experiences with mutual masturbation?

I masturbate on my own with anything. A lot of times when I pull out toys, guys are like, why am I not good enough? And guys really need to get that out of their head.

Yeah.

There's. Not that they're scared of toys, but they think that the toys will be better than them, I think, a lot of the time.

Right, right.

I have used the bullet. I like the Bullet.

Yeah. The bullets are unobtrusive. Right. They're like a little. Right.

But the bullets. Awesome. That's actually my favorite masturbation toy.

Which one? The Bullet. Just the Bullet. Bullet.

Like a little.

Oh, the little silver one. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one.

That's my favorite one.

Yeah.

And it's a good one to start because, like, I used that a lot when I started using toys. That was actually my first.

It's like an inch long, too. It's very unobtrusive, and it's a good starter beginning one.

If you've never used toys and you've never masturbated with a toy, that's a good one to start off with.

Right.

Exactly. So that's good. So you've used that alone and with your partner. Have you ever used it with a partner?

I use it with a partner. He used it on me.

He used it on you. So made your masturbation go both ways. Like, either you're both lying there next to each other masturbating, so you're. You're. You're discovering what turns each other on. And then you can also be sharing the opportunity. You can masturbate your partner, or they masturbate you. It's like my favorite sex thing. Like, I feel like it makes couples more intimate. It helps you learn. Like, it's a great thing. So you use the bullet. I've used. I love the pocket rocket. I think the pocket rocket is a great vibrator to use also during mutual masturbation. Now, a lot of people don't need sex toys. A lot of women can just orgasm without sex toys.

Or you can use your fingers, too. I mean, it's not like, you know, a lot of times when I masturbate, I just use. I'm too lazy to open up my drawer.

Right, right, right. And fingers work. Right. You don't need to use sex toys. We just like to talk about sex toys when we can.

And a lot of guys, like, you know, like, when we're having sex, he'll think, like, you know, finger me. And it feels and it increases everything.

Yeah. When you're having sex or when you're.

When you're like, if I'm on top, he'll like. When he's like, you know, going to.

Me, he'll, like, rub your clitoris. Right, right, right. That's good.

Important.

What is?

Oh, just masturbating. Either you masturbating while you're having sex or him rubbing.

Exactly. So clitoral stimulation is huge during sex, and it should always be. For most women, you need clitoral stimulation. So if you need to add lube sometimes. I always, like, add the lube. I love lubrication. Any kind of lube. There's some in here that we mentioned, right?

There's. It's called id.

ID Lube. Yeah.

And you can buy it on Adam and Eve.

Okay. You can get it.

I tried it, and it's my favorite.

Okay. ID Lube. Okay.

Really good.

And then what were we just saying about.

Just now about master clitorisimation? So it's so important that I love when guys just know it. They, like, know just to rub your clitoris. I mean, some women don't like it, but most women do need some form of clitoral stimulation, which is why we're talking about using your. Your fingers, his fingers, vibrators, whatever. Whatever works for you. So there's different. Okay, so Using eye contact and playing together at the beginning. You might feel uncomfortable mutually masturbating. Right. It might be. You're used to coming together and now you're both lying ap doing your own thing. So you can get comfortable and add eye contact. You can try sharing fantasies. What you'd like to do to your partner, what they could do. It's kind of more of an intimate. It is almost more intimate than sex.

Yeah, I feel like, than intercourse to start. Like if you want to do mutual masturbation, I feel like you should start with someone that you're already comfortable with.

Right. Not the first date. Yeah.

It's not like a one night stand and we're just mutual masturbation.

Right.

You know, like it's just definitely someone you're comfortable with already. At least for your first time. If you have never tried it.

Exactly.

So there's sex positions.

There's different positions that you could try. You could, you know, like I said, like you could. This is just during masturbation. But you could be sitting on.

You could be lying there. Like if I'm the woman and I'm lying there and I've got my sex toys and I could like be starting and then I could take your hand, his hand maybe and show him what to do. You could also, like I said, like woman on top. You're able to use toys easier that way. Or doggy style would be great. Okay. And then some of the things that we recommend in toys are the we vibe two we love. They sell these at Adam and Eve. That's a toy that's made specifically. It's a good mutual masturbation 1. Mutual for sex. Like for. It's good for intercourse because both the men and the women get it. Sex toys for male masturbation. The flashlight and the pocket pussy. And then masturbation toys for women. The Hitachi magic wand and the bullets. Anything else that masturbation? Yeah, actually.

And Also the Form 3 from Jimmy Jane is made specifically for couples.

I mean if you wanted to use. You wanted to masturbate during sex would be the idea. Or I mean you can use it.

In front of your form three is a tonguey one, right? Yeah.

It looks like a tongue kind of reminds you of oral sex, which is.

It's really cool. Form three, Jimmy James use coupon code EMILY25 at checkout and get a discount. Yeah.

It's a good one to use for both.

Yeah. You guys all have these toys, right?

Yeah.

Your house is starting to look like my house. All your toys and what Happens.

You basically get a. Like, push your finger into the vibrating, like, the. The body of the. The toy. And it creates, like, you get to find, like, the spot that you want. So it kind of feels like you're just masturbating with your hand, but you actually are using a vibrator. And it's very cute. It's pink.

It's so cute. All their vibrators are amazing. They're so well made, and they're beautiful. You just leave them out by your bed. You don't even care if anyone sees it.

You're like, whatevs, mine's on my dresser. And people come in and they're like.

Oh, yeah, it's a cute little thing, right? You don't just tell them it's a vibrator. You can just be like. So I hope we. We help people here with mutual masturbation. Something to try also, if you're having issues sexually, like, issues, or you just keep. Feel like you're not getting what you want in bed, or you feel like you're with a new partner and he doesn't really get you. For women, it's a good way just to explore it and be like, hey, I'm going to show you what makes you feel good, and you show me yourself what makes you feel good. And then it's a good way to mutually understand each other. Mutual masturbation. Mutual understanding. So when was the first time you guys masturbated? Tiana, how old were you?

This is really embarrassing, but I. When I was young, it was weird because I didn't lose my virginity till, like, like, I was, like, 18.

Okay.

But I, like, started really young in playing with myself. Like, that's good.

A lot of women did. Yeah. Like five or seven or something.

Yeah. Like, maybe like, nine, eight. I don't know. Okay. I was.

And then when we. When I was little, like, the girls in my neighborhood are like, you know, just people I knew, they would, like. Girls would, like, be practicing kissing on each other and, like, things like that, which was really. Sounds weird, but they're just curious.

Right.

And so, I don't know. I just started masturbating when I was, like, young. I don't know if it was necessarily masturbating, but it was definitely playing with myself.

Right. Okay.

And then as I got older, I started to, you know, when I knew what felt good. I kind of experimented more with my body when I started. Like, preteens.

That's good.

Fourteen.

Okay. That's good. I was older, Kelsey.

I was also older I was like, I was 19.

I was 19 or 20. It didn't even occur to me. I didn't even know about masturbation.

Yeah, my friend had to help me out. She's like, this is what you do with your fingers, Kelsey.

And what'd she tell you?

Well, I was like, I didn't know.

Really?

Like, this is just so sad.

I was like, it's not sad. A lot of people. No, a lot of people, women are. How would they know? They don't teach you that in school.

I was probably, like, 15. And they should really talk about.

I know.

They should play this Sex with Emily in schools across the world.

The clitoris, the G spot, the prostate. That's what they should do in sex ed.

I know. Not, like, don't have sex and use condoms. That should not be the only thing they talk about. So your friend talked mine, too. My friend would send me articles like, she was another college, and she would, like, send me articles and be like, you need to read this about orgasm. Like, I didn't know. Like, it literally never occurred to me to masturbate. Like, I didn't know that I could feel good down there.

Yeah, I just did something like dudes did or. I don't know. It was kind of lame of me, but my friends were just like, yeah, we've been masturbating since we were five. What the hell have you been doing? They're, like, laughing at me, right?

Well, it's okay. Look at you now, honey. Look at you now. So, okay, I just thought we'd share some. At my masturbation, I didn't know my friends were like, I'm like, I've never had orgasm. I was 19, and then I started with sex toys and playing around. So it's important for that masturbation. And the other thing about masturbation is that it's really important to.

It's really important to. To masturbate different ways. So I know we all get set in our ways, and I'm guilty, but it's important to explore with your own masturbation. Like, what makes you feel good? Are there other parts of your body for women? Does it feel good if you touch your nipples? For guys, do you, you know, try a masturbation sleep or just try to even shake up your own masturbation and your own self love? Because sex masturbation is sex with someone you love.

Yeah, Right.

Okay, everyone, that's what we got for you today. You can follow me on Twitter and Facebook. Sex with Emily. And thank you, Tiana. And Kelsey, you guys are gems. Love you guys. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral.

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