SWE: No Shave November

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And now another scandalous adventure with Maguchino Dickerson. Sex Detectives. No Drigsy. We appreciate your cooperation professing up to the robbery so quickly. But we've got ourselves a problem here. We got you at the scene of the crime at 8:36, but your neighbor claims it could hear you have a loud passionate sex at your apartment on the other side of town at 7:50. Now you tell me how you got your misses off with enough time to cross this God forsaken city and take 800 Lodge from the national bank. With enough time to get a copy on the sure side along the way. It doesn't make a look of sense. Who you taking the fall for? The Gambinos? The Winooskies? The Saudis? The Hualapai? We can make this easy on you, Driggsy. Or we can make this as hard as a diamond studded dildo in an ice storm. How in the hell did you bring your sweet gal to climax that quickly? I don't know. Maybe I'm just a great lover. Who are you?

Zeus?

It's crap. You tell me. Now, hey, maybe you was a screaming old cork ring, maybe it wasn't. What do I know, huh? The Screamin O. Yeah, the Screamin O cock ring. Sounds like a bunch of cockamamie. What is this, some black market piece of junk you found down at the docks? Something like that, Detective Magooch. Or maybe it's an award winning cock ring with a super powered micro motor. You tell me, chump. Yeah, but it bet it runs out of juice or real fast. Afraid not, Sergeant O'Dickerson. See, with its extended pleasure time, the Screamin o cork ring brings you hours of pleasure. You guys want to know where I hid the money or what are we doing here, huh? Everyone knows vibrators are just for ladies. Hey, you didn't hear from me, but this one's got special pleasure knobs for him. Rest almighty. Easy with the JC bombs, Magooch. See, drugsy, I'm a respectable family man. I got five kids tearing through the hogan all hours of the day. Now where would I store an indiscreet pleasure product such as this, eh? Well, I seem to remember little bird telling me that the Screamin Oak cork ring's a one time deal kind of thing. It's affordable, so you can throw it away after one use. A one time use? What am I, made of money? All right, Triggsy, no more Mr. Nice Cop. I'm gonna tell you nuts through your eye holes. I'm gonna rip you hot up. Hey, hey, hey. I got a couple spares. Do you guys just want one? Yes, thank you. All right, Trixie, you're free to go. But I robbed a bank. I said get out of here.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good being bad feeling.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com, do it. Now. That's where you get all your sex information. Special coupons, special discounts for all of the products that we talk about on the show that will improve your sex life and change your life and read your. Read all of our blogs and watch our videos. Hey, Menace, what's up?

What's going on?

Happy Sex Family Day. I just decided it's our day.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it just feels right.

I'm a little depressed on Sex with Emily Day.

Why?

What's wrong, honey, have you been reading the news? What's going on in.

In the Middle East?

I mean, I put out a warning a couple months ago, but I'm sure you don't even remember of in the Middle East?

Are you talking about the bombing in the Middle East? Are you talking about, like, Taco Bell took away another taco that you talk.

About something dead serious right now.

Okay. What?

Hostess filed for bankruptcy and there's. There's already. Within a day. There's a Twinkie shortage.

Are you serious?

Swear to God.

Hostess Twinkies. And like the cake special cakes.

Because all the workers went on strike and then they lost a ton of money and they had to file for bankruptcy.

No more Twinkie. Are you serious? There's a Twinkie shortage?

There's already a Twinkie shortage in America. And I said months ago because they, they thought they produced enough Twinkies for a couple years because Twinkies last.

They last like for 150 years. Yeah. I have a Twinkie from seventh grade in my purse. Yeah.

And they thought they would be okay. And then the workers went on strike and now there's a shortage.

Oh, my God.

And now there's a bankruptcy.

It's a Hostess. You'd never think they'd go bankrupt.

It's a mess.

It's like jello or something. I mean, that's crazy. I'm so sorry.

There's a little. You know, that hurts me.

I know. I love those, those cupcakes that you peel off the chocolate top and then there's the cream in the middle. What are those called? The Hostess cupcakes.

Yeah. Yeah, but the yellow ones are good, too.

No, the yellow ones are good.

Oh, the yellow ones are good.

I don't like yellow, but I like the chocolate. And I like. I used to eat those apple pie ones. Oh, yeah. Those are so bad for you. And the donuts, the little. Every day in seventh grade, my mom would give me money for food, for school, and I'd buy six of those powdered donuts that come in the package and eat those for lunch.

And then they have the coconut ones and the chocolate ones. Oh, my God.

Oh, we could not share Hostess together. But you always see.

I would stick my penis in it. With no production, you probably would. That's how much I love it.

Where's Hostess based? You know, Aren't they, like, in the Midwest?

No, they have bakeries all over. There's one. We're here in the San Francisco Bay area, which Oakland's very close. And they shut down a factory that had 164 workers.

Oh, my God. That's so sad. But you know what? The workers weren't getting paid.

Jesus, that's sad.

Depressing. I'm sorry to, you know, start the show on a bad note.

How can I continue knowing that I can't eat Twinkies anymore? How can I continue?

You gotta run out after the show and buy every Twinkie that you see.

Seriously. You're right. They'll become collector's items one day. That's crazy.

Shut up, people.

I'm so glad you're reading the newspaper.

It's gonna be a thousand dollars on ebay soon.

I know. You're. Seriously. That is really, really sad. Well, I'm having a crazy day, but it's just. Cause I'm leaving for Mexico tomorrow.

Oh, really?

Yeah. For Mexico. This week? Tomorrow. I guess so. Yeah.

We had dinner the other night.

I know. What'd you think about our dinner?

Delicious.

Did you love it?

I loved it. Yeah.

It was your birthday.

She took me to dinner more often.

It was your belated birthday dinner. We went to Flour and Water, which is a delicious restaurant in San Francisco, and it's very hard to get in. And I happen to know the owner.

Excuse me.

And it was fun. They sent you over a little birthday cake, little birthday dessert. And then we. Pasta. Leftover pasta. Which I'm gonna eat tonight for dinner, which you didn't want.

Are you serious? This. Like a little rabbit?

Yeah, but it's so heavy. It was good.

It was heavy. It didn't seem like a lot. And then we're like, oh, we need to eat more.

I never kept ordering. That was fun. You and I never do that. We were on our phone the whole time, but it just felt like being. Yeah, that's like menace. You can't hang out with Menace. And I'm not on his phone. He was, like, tweeting every meal, every course.

Yeah. And I posted Instagram.

You can find Menace on Instagram at Menace. And I'm sex with Emily on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook. Sex with Emily. And same with Menace.

I posted a photo of you on my Instagram.

Did I get likes?

You got like, A hundred something likes.

Really? That's just because everyone likes your stuff. Even if you posted a black photo of nothing, like a mistake photo when you dropped your phone. I always take pictures of my purse. People would probably like that if you posted it.

Yeah, I got 113 likes.

Oh, nice.

There was over.

17 comments.

Oh, my God. I don't have that many commenters.

Really?

Not really.

But they said they love you and they love the podcast.

They love that we're together, that we really. It's not, like, fake for the podcast. Madis and I really love each other.

We really hang out sometimes.

Deep, deep, deep, sweet love.

When Emily doesn't talk, then we hang out.

Because it's ironic that you hate when I talk when we do a talk show together. That's. That's the irony.

You just like talk. You like talking at inappropriate times. Just at the moment we're preparing for this show, and I was off in some other workspace, and you were in a meeting room space in a soundproof room. And I could hear you from across the office.

Wow. That's like magical powers.

There was a meeting going on right next to you. If I was in the meeting right next to you, I'd be like, what the f. Who?

They heard me in the soundproof room.

And you're like, five foot nothing. How do you produce so much sound?

I don't know. I always have. I'm so. I'm sort of impressed by my vocal capabilities? No, but you know the story. Like when I was, like, in second grade, and the teacher would be like, everyone would be talking and she'd say, emily, stop talking. Because I was always the loudest and my voice was really high. I talk like when I. Up until the age, like, 12 or whenever your voice kind of changes. I. I sounded like I was sucking on helium all the time, so my voice sounded like this. Like Mickey Mouse. So you could hear it above all the other noise. And then I would always get yelled at for talking.

So your balls dropped at when my balls dropped.

Exactly. I don't know. Well, it doesn't. Do you think it still sounds like I'm on helium? Sort of. I mean, I sort of have a strange. A voice that's distinct. Distinct. Good word.

Yeah, No, I think it's normal now.

I don't know.

Right.

Well, you've heard me talking for seven years.

Yeah, but I. I hear voices that instantly annoy me. And yours doesn't.

Oh, that's. Yeah. It's just.

Sometimes it's just too loud at inappropriate times. I Understand?

I'm sorry. Don't hate me. Don't hate me for talking. Today's show. We're gonna be talking. It's no Shave November. If you. If you knew that, you know how everyone's doing all these mustache things. Yeah, Okay.

I know it's for a good cause, but, dude, people, the mustache craze. Come on.

Why is every car in the city have a mustache? It's because of the Movember thing.

No, the mustache thing. Okay. That's a car service, like Uber. It's called Lyft. And their whole thing is the mustache.

I was wondering. Okay, so there's all these cars driving around San Francisco with, like, big, furry mustaches across the front. And I thought that's what was for Movember. So I once participated in this. I was like a. I don't know, spokesperson, or I grew a mustache. No, I didn't grow a mustache, but that would have been really hot. But it's. They call it Movember, right? It's for testicular cancer, I think. And people raise money and they grow their beards and they grow mustaches for Mover. Or is it Mustache Movember or November? It's like, for cancer, for men or something. Right? So there's a lot of that going on. So we thought this is a perfect day to do a manscaping show, because that is a very popular topic. Plus, we're going to be answering your emails. Plus, I have to give a shout out to.

Speaking of manscaping. This will fit much better on your manscaped product piece. Your manscape piece is the Screaming O. It's the official couples ring of the Sex with Emily show. Just go to my website, click on Screaming O and you get special discounts. And they make the most amazing, stretchy, vibrating rings that you can fit in your penis. That. That will help you with premature ejaculation. Well, vibration will feel good to you and your partner. If you're having sex with a woman and it hits her clitoris in the right place, it's a vibrating ring. They're amazing. So check out Screaming O. Please do that and buy them. They're, like, really reasonable. And they have a new studio line collection that's all make. It's like makeup. Looks like mascara, but it's a vibrator blush. And it's a vibrator. It's super cool, so you gotta check that out. And yeah, that's what we're gonna do on today's show, which is very exciting. And we have some news. Sex in the news.

Oh, we do have some news.

Yeah, we do some news.

People haven't been keeping up on it.

Emily has moved to Los Angeles to become a big star.

Right.

And leaving me here in San Francisco.

Yes, but.

But the. You're not even gonna notice because we're gonna have so many shows.

Yeah, we're still doing shows every week, so don't worry about it. Menace is coming to LA and we're doing shows.

Yeah. All right. I'm booked. I'm ready.

In between the drinking, we're gonna be doing shows. We're actually gonna do our drunk show, which we talked about doing forever.

Like, a hundred episodes.

We promised it like, 600 episodes ago. It was like show 169. Because we thought, 69. That's funny. We'll get drunk. But we didn't, which was sad. But we will get drunk and do a show. Maybe we're funny. What if we're funnier when we're drunk and we just have to be drunk for every show? I don't know. Is there any other news that you know about? We did talk last night, the other day after we recorded the show, we were talking about the breakup of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.

Well, they were already spotted back together.

Oh, shut up. They're so young. They should not be together. You should not get.

No, you promote people not being together if they want to be together.

They're young, they're growing, they're changing tonight. They're teenagers.

People can get together when they're young. Man, I'm sorry.

Yeah, but they're not happy. They're not happy with you. Don't get married before you're 30. Okay? When is ejaculation premature? And when should a penis be made numb? How long is sex supposed to last? One consensus of sex therapists said three to seven minutes of penis in vagina is adequate, while seven to 13 minutes is desirable. If three minutes is adequate, then when does become an actual medical diagnosis of premature ejaculation? So a lot of doctors in the late 80s when physicians started prescribing SSRI medications to treat depression. Now it's like Zoloft and Paxil. It's all that stuff. Some patients taking them noticed that they were also taking longer to ejaculate, so they started prescribing these drugs.

Then they started making these topical numbing creams now to partially numb your penis during sex to prevent premature ejaculation. You do lose fine sensory details. If someone lightly brushed your penis with a feather, you probably wouldn't Know it. But it actually isn't as numbing as you think. That sounds kind of painful. I think you should just do your kegel exercises, download my app, Kegel Camp in the itunes store or on your smartphone. It's just for iPhones on your iPhone. And if you do them five minutes a day, you won't be a premature ejaculator and you will have stronger orgasms. That's all I got to say about that. Can you imagine putting numbing cream in your penis? Wouldn't that scare you? That would never become unknown. What if it never became unnumb.

No, I wouldn't do it. I'm sorry.

Okay, well, here's.

Tequila is my numbing agent.

I know, I know. What kind of tequila should I get when you visit?

I mean, I have a couple that I like, so I know you'll tell.

Me you'll be supplying it.

I mean, oh, there's Don Julio, there's Patron, there's here's. I know you like cheap, so there's a.

What do you mean, like cheap? I don't like cheap.

You're so cheap, you won't spend money on anything.

So that's a lie. That's you.

Me?

How am I cheap? I just don't. How am I cheap?

You're cheap. You don't have any. Serious. Yeah. Really?

I don't think of myself that way, but I have no money. But I'm not cheap. I mean, I spend money, but I'm not cheap.

Maybe. Maybe you just don't like spending money. How about that?

I don't have any money. Send us money. Feedback.

Okay, maybe you're not cheap, you just don't have money to spend on it. So trace Agaves. Silver. Good.

Okay, just text me it. Wait, before you come. Okay, so here's something I got about Selena Gomez. I'm totally blocking Justin from my life. Selena Gomez spent the day blocking her phone number and other communication devices. Justin Bieber cannot contact her. That's what TMZ said. Menace. And you believe tmz?

They already had a picture of them together.

They were probably exchanging their, you know, shoes that she left at her house.

No, they were at a restaurant.

Well, whatever. They were saying their goodbyes, so. And then there's. So anyway, after. And TMZ learned the breakup definitely involved another women.

Oh, no.

They have speculation it's a Victoria's Secret model. Well, who else are you going to cheat with if not a Victoria's Secret model, Right?

Yeah.

And then you all know about Mr. Petraeus. He resigns as director of the CIA after having an affair with his biographer. You heard about this.

Do you think this was because he didn't want to.

Be the person that had to go through all those interviews with that whole thing of not having enough protection for those people that got killed overseas?

I don't think so. I think that he truly had an affair with this woman.

It's just good timing.

It was just good timing that he didn't have to go through it. But Paula Broadwell, the biographer who's never written a biography before, he flew her out with him to. To the Gulf or wherever, Wherever they were in the Middle east for two years. I mean, what. I don't know that that's right. How long he did it, but how long he flew. Whatever. The point is, he knew he was having a fair with her, and then he like, oh, I know what I'll do. I'll fly her with me to travel with me and live with me and have an affair. But he's trying to get back together with his wife. He had to resign. I don't think it matters. I do not know why people care. I mean, I guess he's married. And that's wrong. That is wrong. I'm sorry. You should not cheat. You should just break up with your partner before you cheat. So that's wrong. But that doesn't mean that he can't be the director of the CIA still, because he, you know, getting blowjob from another woman.

I don't think, you know, you should ever cheat or anything like that. But however, it sucks because every time they show a clip of his wife talking, she. She talks like this. Hi, how are you doing? I am a robot.

Really?

Hi.

She's sad.

My husband is in the secret. No, this is like a couple. They like to show random clips of her, like, speaking at certain things.

How long Are they together?

37 years.

Yeah, 37 years. You're right.

Yeah.

He said I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in extramarital affair. Yes, you did. Such behavior is unacceptable, both as a husband and a leader of an organization such as ours. I'm just tired of this. Like, in France, the President gets married. He has other spouses. You know, it's like, it's okay, like, I should move to France, and then no one would. I wouldn't have to read these stories anymore.

It would be.

See if you don't want to be with the robot anymore. CIA guy doesn't divorce her. Like, why. Why just continue this thing where he can get busted, you know, I Don't know. Just hook up with the biographer. She's.

People think, I think men, when they're in very powerful positions, I think it's two things. They think that they are sort of invincible and that nothing can touch them and that it's sort of okay, and they live above the law. I mean, as the director of the CIA, how is he gonna get in trouble? And then I also think that there is something with. That comes with power, that men just think that, again, they're. They're invincible, but also that you think you can have anything. You're like, I've got. I've got all the money I need. I've got this, I've got women. And it's just sort of everything's at your fingertips. And power is an aphrodisiac for many women. So he probably, you know, and he's not the best looking guy in the world, but he probably has opportunities to be with women because of his powerful status. I think that has a lot to do with it too.

Do you know what's funny? I. Funny I was wondering, I go, why is there such a big investigation in this? And I guess I can understand, like, security breach and all that stuff. But then the funny thing is you bring up, like, how he was flying around everywhere, like, who was paying for that? Was the government paying for that? Or was he paying out of pocket?

I'm sure he never pays out of pocket. He's a government official. If you work for the government for that long, you figure out ways never to pay for anything. I think I worked for the government anyway, a long time ago. I would not get a job with the government again. But it was a very good job for a while. Okay, we can get in some emails.

All right. Emails from the people from the peeps.

Hi, Emily. I live with my boyfriend and a roommate. We all met in the military and I got. Speaking of military. And I got out about two years ago. Since then, we've all gotten very close and pretty much know everything about each other. The roommate was in a relationship for about as long as my boyfriend and I have been together, but broke up with his girlfriend when she moved to Japan. It was hard for him at first and we've all been there for him. But it became clear as time went on that he had feelings for me. He even kissed me in his car. And I never told my boyfriend. It seems that this is a trend when we get drunk, and I've assumed that it might be a drunk thing, but I really feel that he has actual Feelings for me. I've confronted him about it, but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it. But honestly, I have feelings for him too.

Ooh.

My boyfriend is leaving for the military next October and will be gone. Will be going home to Oregon. The plan was to go with him, but now I'm not so sure. I care about both of them. I don't want to hurt either, but my feelings are so overwhelming right now. I don't know what to do. Please help Cecilia. She's living with two men that she's got feelings for. That's difficult. That's a challenging situation. I would say if you are having other feelings for this guy, that you probably shouldn't be going with him. Away to Oregon. He's going to Oregon and you're gonna go with him. You know what? I think you're young. I think that you shouldn't go with your boyfriend if you're already having feelings for your roommate. There's gonna be other men that you feelings for, and I would say that you're probably right. And he won't talk about it because there is. I used to have a guy friend that every time he was drunk, he would try to make out with me. And then like, you know what? If you really like me and you want to be with me, I. Let's talk about it when you're sober. So then at lunch the next day, I used to stay with him in LA all the time. I'd say, this was not my ex was another friend. But every time we were drunk, which is a lot, he was like, let's hook up. So then lunch, I'd be like, so, do you have feelings for me? Do you want to go with me? And he'd be like, I don't talk about it. So I never really knew. And we're still good friends. And he's getting married now and doesn't try to kiss me anymore. But I'm just curious if he, you know, there's. Sometimes it is just a drunk thing. So I wouldn't. Cecilia, I would not, not go with your boyfriend to his place because of this other roommate. But it sounds like you're in the place right now where you're open to liking other people, whether or not it's the roommate or whoever. It sounds like you have ambivalence about your relationship with your boyfriend, and therefore I would perhaps just, you know, stay where you're at. If you guys are meant to be, you can do a long distance thing for a while. But I'm just Always wary of women, I'm assuming in your 20s, even, you know, just picking up and moving with her boyfriend. They think it's gonna be it. And you just, like I said earlier, like, I don't even think you should get married before you're 30. Like, 20s are all about figuring out who you are, what you want, playing around, having a good time. And it sounds like you just. You're confused right now. And so I would say that does. You shouldn't move in with your boyfriend just because. Move with him just because you think that's going to help solve things. You're still going to feel, if it's not the roommate, it'll be someone else.

Cecilia, you're breaking my heart Blah, blah, blah. I don't know the rest of the song.

I know it all, but I'm not going to sing because then people would turn. People would turn off.

Cecilia, you're breaking me down on my.

Knees I'm begging you, please to come home Cecilia. Cecilia. Okay, Cecilia. So that's what I say, right? What do you think, Menace? Do you have any feelings?

No.

You disagree with me? Yeah, I love it. Okay. Hi, Emily. Menace, let me first state that I've been an avid listener for six months now, and I must say that Adam and Eve coupon is great. So Adam and eve go to AdamAndEve.com, use coupon code Emily at checkout, and you get 50% off any item and a free gift. How frigging great is that? You want to buy a sex toy, you want to buy a DVD, you want to buy some. They have everything@adamandeve.com and coupon code Emily in the free gift and adult DVDs, you get, like a package. Like, you could buy one toy or one whatever, and then you're going to get a whole bunch of other stuff with you and free shipping, which I love. Free shipping. Do you know that I will not order anything that does not have free.

Shipping because you're cheap?

No, I'm just. Pisses me off. I never called me cheap until today, first of all. So now I feel like you're harboring these feelings and I'm so not. Like, I am so many things, but I'm not cheap. I'm poor, but I'm not cheap. I know. It's so mean, though. Who brought you a nice dinner last night? Just because it was the first time I probably ever bought you dinner, doesn't mean anything. But we don't ever go to dinner. Okay, so he loves Adam and Eve, and I'M super.

You bought me like a burrito once.

I think I bought you a hundred dollar bar of tequila once too. Do you remember that really nice tequila that you loved? I went all over the city trying to find it.

The 1901 tequila?

Yes.

They charge you 100 bucks for that?

$85.

Thank you.

90, 70. I don't remember. It was years ago. Oh my God, you're making me so bad. Okay, anyway, that was enough about Adam and Eve. He loves Adam. Neve coupon. Thank you. About two years ago I hooked up with a girl. We hit it off and be being the horny teenagers. We were engaged in sexual activities many times. We now have a one year old little girl and living happily together. A few weeks ago I got home from work and went into logging to the computer we share and saw a message pop up from some guy. I got to reading their conversation. Turns out they had sex while I was at work. I confronted her about it that night and we kind of worked things out. But I can't get it out of my head. I try not to think about it, but I know it will always be there. I still think I love her. But at the end of the night we are both young people trying to do the grown up thing. I don't know what to do. Confused. In need of help. Daniel from Danville, Pennsylvania. So I think you gotta confront her about it. I know it's not great to check the email and all that stuff.

Well, he did, he said he did. He said he talk to her about it and then they're working.

She said like oh, I can find it a right.

Yeah.

So I know you can't get it out of your head. I don't know why I didn't say I know you can't get out of your head. And it is very, very hard because an affair can destroy a relationship, but it can also repair a relationship. So you guys might need to go into some therapy. You're young and you're together and I mean do you not want to have sex with anyone else? You might, that might come come up for you too. So I think you guys should really get into it. It's really hard to forgive and forget because you picture her with someone else. And when she says she's at the grocery store, you're thinking is she really at the grocery store? Is she banging the, you know, neighbor? So you just don't know. But it can also renew a relationship and bring people closer together. But the thing is that trust is one of the most precious assets In a relationship. And once it's tainted, it can be very hard to rebuild. So it takes engaging in emotional work and serious commitment. You have to commit to the relationship by both partners to get the trust back. So if you're just like, oh, I'm gonna let it go. I'm just gonna not think about it. That's not good. If it keeps coming up to you every day, then you' having some trauma by it. It's almost like post traumatic stress disorder. Like, you know, it's like post traumatic.

You just need to go bang somebody else. And it's equal playing field and you're straight.

No, don't bang someone else. You can use the affair as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.

It messes up the relationship forever. But I'm sorry, you just can never, as a man, sorry, you can speak as a woman. And I think women can get over this kind of stuff way easier than a guy can. I give that to you. To you. Women, you can. I think you can forgive and forget when it comes to this kind of stuff. But guys, it's just like, it's such an ego thing. And, you know, you gotta go bang somebody else. And in your mindset, you're, honey, that's.

Not gonna make him equal. That's not gonna make him feel better if he bangs someone else. Don't bang someone else. If the couple. You can use the affair as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes. It can improve your communication and your overall connection to the marriage and all that. But it can become stronger than it was before the affair. But I'm here to tell you, Daniel, it's going to take work. And are you ready for the work? Because if it's bothering you and coming up every day, then you are not over yet. And you got to go to therapy with her asap. You can have community. Communities have, like, cheaper therapy. If you can't afford therapy, a lot of people can. I always say you should go to therapy because I believe that every person on this planet, including menace, needs therapy. And a lot of things you can't afford to. Oh, Jesus. Don't give it. We don't have time. What Time to get into why you need therapy.

Why do I need therapy? Give me a couple reasons, honey.

Because I think that you have some commitment emotional issues. I do. I really do. And I think that you are.

I can't get into it now because we are doing a short.

But everyone. I know, but it's just like everyone has different feelings about different things. Just because I don't think you are.

Not as emotional, emotionally available, maybe with women. I think you have some. Some negativity towards women, which I don't understand. I thought it came from your mom, but you've told me that it doesn't. I feel like sexually, unless you have some crazy sex that I don't know about, you might be a little more inhibited, which is ironic that you're, you know, on sex family with me. I think that, you know, as long as I've known you, never really had a girlfriend. I know you're kind of sort of dating someone now that you keep in the closet, but. But I don't. I feel like if you were with someone that you really loved and you feel like an equal, you'd be, like, out with her. I'd meet her, I'd know her, parading her around the whole thing. Or maybe you do and I don't see you. I'm just. I'm just not sure that you know exactly what you want. And I know that the work. And I get it because work is so important. Like, I have a hard time being in a relationship because I'm not making the money I need to be making, and I'm. My career is not where I want it to be and all that stuff. So I think a lot of that holds you back. I don't know. But I think you're overall healthy. I don't think you're terrible. Like, I don't think you need to go to therapy tomorrow. But I think everyone in the universe benefits from therapy. My parents threw me to therapy when I was 10.

See that, honey?

I'm healthy.

Maybe therapy made you. At 10 years old, my parents got divorced.

I drew pictures. I drew pictures. That's what you do in therapy when you're 10.

It's crazy. At 10 years old, you can't even comprehend what's going on.

I know it was really hard.

My parents divorced when I was 6.

And I still believe that's exactly why you need therapy. You've never dealt with that.

What do you mean, I never dealt with that? I think it's awesome.

I think that you need help.

I don't want to hear bitching any, you know, or argument. Yeah, you know, I think it's cool. I'm happy that they got a divorce and they didn't want to, like, be together because they felt that they have.

To, because that's true. But it's still hard as a kid to not have mommy and Daddy and all your friends and mommy and Daddy and your parents. Weren't there.

I never really tripped off it, to be honest.

I think you blocked it.

That I blocked you.

I think you're still tripping.

No. Yeah.

Why wouldn't you care? You like your dad, you like your mom, Right? Or you don't.

Yeah, no, I like them both. I think they're awesome.

Okay, maybe you're totally fine. I'm sorry I missed out on that.

I just don't. Like.

My mom's a constant worrier. Always like, you know. Oh, did you get this done? Did you get that done? I just don't like hearing it. So that's why we don't talk about this.

You don't like women talking, period. And that comes from your mom?

Maybe.

Yeah. You hear that? I think that is part of it. Okay.

We had a breakthrough.

Okay. We had a break. No, really, you don't. I think it. No. I believe that most men. Not most men. Many men think that women eventually start to sound like their mother and they just want them to shut the hell up. That's my theory. Okay, I gotta give a shout out to the Sinclair Institute for overall sex education.

Sex educational DVDs. They will help you with everything. They'll teach you better techniques, how to have better sex. People email me all day long. How do I perform oral sex? How do I enhance my libido? How do I do this position or that position? Or how do we make things Spicy Again, Sinclair Institute.com use coupon code EMILY50 for 50 off any item. And I'm telling you, you must have more than one item in your cart. But it's like. It's. So the thing is, I think that porn is a terrible way to learn about having sex. How to have sex. Because it's, like, not technically spot on. But Sinclair Institute has hundreds of DVDs to choose from that you can watch with your partner. It is naked people having sex in a lot of them, yes. But it's titillating. Also educational, because so many women are not getting what they want in bed and neither are men. And if you watch it, go through, peruse their library and be like, you know what? I really want to learn how to perform oral sex on my wife. Better. So let's watch it together. And then you're watching it and then you do it and then you have to talk about it. It's just. It's an amazing. So everyone should check out Sinclair Institute. Let's move into our topic. We have.

Yeah, we have a few minutes.

Okay. We're going to. We'll do this we'll do this topic because today's show is a little bit shorter. Don't everyone email me and get upset because I'm. It's just busy right now. And I love you all, so just don't get mad at me.

Chill the F out.

Body grooming or manscaping. Okay, this is where you destroyed me one time. Why would it do. Oh, my God. That's gotta. We. Okay, so every Thursday, we release our old show. We've got. We've got 700 shows, and a lot of them are not online now. They're not available. But that was one of our earliest shows. That was like show number 40, and we've done 700. I had this bikini waxer come in who does men and women. She does man zillions and boy zillions, whatever they call them. And I had her give Menace a bikini wax on the air. Yeah, he stripped down and he. I didn't see it. Cause you were in another room and ripped the wax off you.

Yeah, and then never grew back correctly ever again.

It did. It did.

I was injured for life.

No, you weren't. Yeah, it wasn't that bad. But men are doing all this stuff now. Men are. I mean, especially. I live near the Castro, which is like the gay district. Everyone. Not just gay community, but like. Like everyone. I don't know why I said that, but everyone does do it, so do. Here's some do's and don'ts.

You definitely know that they do it because in the Castro, everyone's walking around naked. Now, my buddy. I know, my buddy, he Instagrammed this picture of this guy today, and it was raining in San Francisco, and this guy was walking down the street completely naked, and he goes, it's raining men.

Oh, my God. That's funny. I mean, there are. There's that whole swath of grass, but.

These guys are all hairless.

Right, Exactly. So do. These are some do's and don'ts. Do trim your armpit hair. Keep your underarm hair trimmed to a reasonable length. It will not only look better this way, but you'll also notice that you'll sweat less and therefore smell better. Do you trim your armpit hair?

No, I don't need to. I'm not really hairy there.

Some guys don't need to. Yeah, but don't shave your armpits bare. That's freaky. And that's weird. Women expect to see some hair beneath the armpits, but if it gets too long, it's okay to trim it. It do groom your chest hair. If you have a lot. Now, I don't know about this. Some women love curly, crazy chest hair. Some don't. So it really. It's your preference? I know. Like in the gay community, like, a lot of my friends, they do. They don't. They don't like any hair. But if you have a lot, you know, trim it. It's easy to do. Right? Can you do that? Do you do that?

No, no, I'm not hairy there. But I do. I think once I started manscaping, it just started getting longer and thicker. And people say that. That's not true, I swear. Then I. I must be. That's the only place that I'm really. Because everywhere else, I'm not hairy at all.

Really?

Yeah.

Huh.

I mean, I grew a lot of hair on my face quickly.

You do?

Yeah.

Huh. Okay, so. But you. Okay, so go. Don't go Brazilian or bear everywhere. You can do a manzillion. The only men should ever consider going completely hairless are competitive bikers or swimmers. It's not done for. It's not for the purpose of increased speed or just. If it's not for the purpose of increased speed. It's just kind of weird. And I've dated biker guys that have, you know, they shave their whole body. It's kind of weird. So don't go bare everywhere, but just trim. Like you trim your pubic area, don't you?

Yeah, you have to.

You have to, guys. So just trim down there.

This makes your penis look bigger too.

Is that true?

It does.

Is that why you trim?

No, I just. I'm just hairy.

Okay. Do get rid of shoulder and back hair. I'm just telling you, these are the popular use of don'ts. I never want to say you have to get rid of your back hair, but as my friend calls it a back pussy. I do think that. But it's not attractive. Hair on your back. He calls it a back with his back hair. Isn't that funny? You can use that. Most of them agree that.

Where? I don't know, but go ahead.

I don't know. Just say like, hey, dude, you got a back pussy. You better wax that.

Your back pussy is looking kind of werewolfish.

But it is kind of like, you know, you see the guys in the gym with the hair everywhere. But then again, I'm gonna say this. There are some people who might find that really attractive. So I'm just saying. But if you don't know what to do, you can also get, like, laser, and it can be gone forever. It's more expensive. Or you can just wax it. Don't shave patterns. I don't want to see, like, a heart or your initials or my initials in your penis and your pubic hair or on your chest.

Women do that, though. They shave like hearts.

Women do, but like vagazzling. Like, they vagazzle their vagina. So I would say that you could do pubic. There's some pubic hairstyles. There's the cock hawk for the male landing strip. For men. They shave all the hair except a thick strip down the center. There's a flame hawk. Shave all hair except a strip. Use gel to form spikes or the boss hog, shaving only a small strip down the middle and leaving hair on each side. So that's about male grooming. Women can participate in no shave November 2nd with the returns of the 70s bush if they want to. How would you feel about that?

The returns of this. No.

You don't like the bush?

No.

Okay. And here's another thing, guys, about trimming down there. I have to be honest. I don't care. Like, if I'm with a guy and he doesn't. It doesn't bother me. Even if I'm performing oral sex on him. Like, I'm not that uptight about it. But that could be. A lot of women are kind of, like, not into it. If you're with a woman and there's. She might not perform oral sex on you. If you want more oral sex, I have to tell you about masque. YourMasque.com, m A S Q E. They're like these. They're like those breath strips that you put on your tongue. And they mask the taste of semen. Because some women don't perform oral sex. Maybe they don't want your hair, but they don't like the taste of semen. So mask it hides taste of semen. It tastes like mango, chocolate, watermelon and strawberry. Either one, you can pick four flavors, you put on your tongue for 20 minutes. And it's great for the gay community, too. And it just tastes like you, you know, when you're. Next time from oral sex, it'll taste like a chocolate milkshake. It's awesome.

Delish.

So are you not gonna let me get into female grooming now because you're tense?

Yeah. Okay, we'll save it for the next show.

We'll save for the next show. Okay, this is what I gotta say, though. Just let me say one more thing.

All right?

Okay. I just wanna say that.

I love you, Menace. And I love all of our listeners. And you should email me all the time@feedbackexwithelmy.com we love listening to you, hearing from you, reading your emails, answering them on our website. Buy my book hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. And also I've got a new iPhone app called Emily's sex drive in the itunes store, which I keep forgetting to mention. And kaggle camp and 101 sex tips. Those are all my apps. Support the show, support me, and have better sex if that's what you want. So thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com cold you.

I don't know if we should be exploring old man Sinclair's property like this close up. Now help it. Old man Sinclair's deaf as a kook. He won't hear us. And besides, this is what friends do. Go on adventures and find out the secrets of better sacrifice together. Who was that? What was that last part? Be careful. This is old man Sinclair's landmine field. Oh cauldron. I'm caught in a bear trap. Helper, you dummy. Now old man Sinclair will heal us for show. Who's that out there? Who remove cut your head off. Over here. Help.

Oh, is that Hilbert and Corgan out there? Yeah, I sure know you digglings would find yourselves out here. Here, let me help you out of that trap.

Hey now I've got your gun, Mr. Sinclair. Gimme that you dummit.

Oh, here you go.

The tables have turned, Sinclair. Now take us to your locker full of sex tips and secrets. Easy now. I don't want any trouble. I'm just a simple man trying to make my sex tapes. Don't give us any size. We just want to know where your.

Award winning sexploration series.

You can buy it on Sinclair Institute on the.com like every other sucker. That's sinclairinstitute.com. s I n C L A I R Institute D O T C U M Told you. I just found the tapes they was hiding here in this giant box that said we're gonna be sex masters.

Help it you dummy.

Watch out.

You're gonna fall on that gun aimed.

At old man Sinclair's hand.

Whoops. Oh. Guess we should have gone to sinclairinstitute.com like you said. Yeah, let's get out of here. Hey coaching, how do you spell that website again? Help it you dummy. S I N C L A I R. Like we say where I'm from, it shouldn't be murder to have better sex Let the good folks of Sinclair Institute take you on your next sexual adventure. So y' all come back to sinclairinstitute.com and use coupon code EMILY50 for 50% off any any one item. My favorite's the DVD about G spot pleasures and my missus likes the Benoit balls. Thanks for listening and thanks for supporting.

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