7 Dec 2025 · 48 min
In this episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, host Emily Morse and co‑host Menace discuss a wide range of sexual topics in a free‑form, conversational style. The show opens with a promotion for the Hera by Jiu rabbit vibrator, followed by a surreal interlude about a "cave system" and "sexual flavor strips". The bulk of the episode consists of reading listener letters and offering advice: confidence for a man with one testicle, how to ask a girl out, a debate over hair length preferences, and a discussion of online dating platforms. Emily announces a paid webinar titled "Group Sex with Emily and Her Girlfriends" and Menace jokes about ticket exchanges for fellatio. They also talk about space sex restrictions, a British woman prosecuted for noisy sex, masturbation rituals, hand‑job techniques, dirty talk, and detailed sex tips (thigh‑first stimulation, G‑spot location, varying thrusts, vocal feedback). The episode ends with promotional spots for Forta sexual‑enhancement supplements and Qualia Magnesium. The tone is informal, humorous, and occasionally explicit, with a supportive stance toward listeners' insecurities.
Chapters
Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jiu. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jaejoo is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super so soft, ultra quiet. And it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera. And right now you can get 20 off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r A so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it.
So go treat yourself.
You deserve it.
Are you sure it's safe to go here? Cordial?
Sure thing, Halbert. I been down here plenty of times.
What's that?
Oh, it's nothing. Just people setting off Dynamite. You was 16 once. Now you're 46. That's a 30 year difference.
Mr. Cobry.
Oh, no.
We tried. Told you we're gonna d. Now just.
Hold on a sec, Helbert. This here's the McCaffrey National Seaman Cave System.
Yeah, so?
So, you dummit. That means we can lick our way out of here. It's only 30 or 40ft of crystallized semen to the surface.
I wasn't born yesterday. Could you.
I know.
We can lick our way out of here. I just can't stand the taste.
Halbert, you dummy. Why do you think I packed a month's supply of masked sexual flavor strips? It tastes good. You can choose from four delicious flavors. Strawberry, chocolate, mango and watermelon.
But cauldron? I can't decide which flavor I want to try.
Don't worry, Helmet. You be down here a while. Get licking mask.
Sexual flavor strips are designed to deliciously disguise the taste of semen in four exciting flavors. They're bound to get you out of the stickiest of situations. Go to sexualflavors.com today to find your flavor. Hey, Kojan, how about we whistle while we work?
No I don't like music. Music makes me sick in the stomach.
Oh, all right.
Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend, cuz? My man E just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.
The women know about shrinkage.
Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?
Oh, my God, I feel so good.
Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts. Sign up for a mailing list and check out what's going on there. So thanks everyone for listening. I'm here with Menace.
Hello. How are you doing?
I'm good. How are you, Menace?
I'm good. You left me this weekend.
I know what's going on.
Where the hell did you go?
I went to Michigan to see the family.
I like Midwest chicks. They're nice.
We are. We have like good Midwestern stock.
You come up and you talk to a man.
Exactly.
You cook them dinner.
I did. I don't cook dinner, but I do talk to a man.
You've been on the west coast too long. But if you find a girl that's in the Midwest and stays in the Midwest, you're going to be taken care of.
That's true. Like my, my, my sister in law takes care of my brother very well. It was interesting to be with the family and the kids. I got three, I have three nieces and my family, my parents and the whole thing. And we're at my brother's lake house and, you know, doing a bunch of Michigan type things. Fourth of July, barbecue, fire.
Yeah, I'm sure it was very American.
I was on an inner tube. Yeah, there was like a. There was a boat show that was coming around the lake. It was so Americana. It was great. But it's, you know, going to Michigan always brings up so many things for me because I left, you know, for California a long time ago. And I love California and I'm definitely a California person. But you go back and it's like, oh, this is where I was supposed to be. This is where I Should have been. This is where most people from my high school are, and I've just chosen this very different route. And then I start thinking about, you know, my mom's like, you know, my nieces are. My little nieces are like, when can we be in your wedding and when we can have a new uncle?
And you're like, never.
I'm on a mandatorium. I didn't explain that when she was. Not to the nine year old, but. No, it was. It was really fun. It's just. It just really, I think.
Did you make out with anybody?
No. Sometimes I feel like I have two lives, though. I have like my family life in Michigan and I come back to California where they all, you know, my family thinks I'm like, crazy California girl.
Yeah, which you are.
Which I guess I am. So how was your fourth of July?
It was good. Consumed alcohol, of course. It was amazing. And I went to a concert.
And did you watch fireworks? You can't do that here because it's too funny.
No.
Yeah.
No, no, no. I was in San Jose, California, which is a lot more heat and clear weather.
People don't understand that we don't have a summer in San Francisco. Unless you live here or you visited in the summer.
No, summer, it's called microclimates. And it could be foggy on one side of the city. On the other side it could be totally sunny.
Right.
It's terrible. Other things I did, though, I posted on my blog last night, which is whitemenace.com, and I got so much crap, I'm still getting crap right now, that I'm saying that women with short hair are not as attractive as women with long hair.
Okay? And.
And I say that I am saying the large majority of men prefer long hair. I'm not saying that women with short hair are not going to get laid and they'll never get a date.
Right?
I'm not saying that. I'm just saying.
So why was this coming up and why. Why were you even talking?
Because I had to write a blog and I ended up. Well, then I ended up having the conversation over the weekend with a friend who cut her hair short.
Oh, and you. That's hard. She's probably totally having long hair envy right now.
And no, but she doesn't believe me that men prefer longer hair.
Did you tell her she didn't look as attractive with her hair?
And I said. I said you look better with longer hair. And do you know what she let me do? She let me take two photos of her, one with Long hair and one with short hair. And let me put it on my blog.
Oh, that's great. You gotta check it out. Yeah, I wanna check it out. So everyone should check that out. So what happened? What'd the poll say?
80% agreed with me. Long hair.
Like, theoretically, I can understand that men would say that. 80%. But if you're. If you're face to face with a chick, you wouldn't be like, oh, I wish she had longer hair. Like, if you find a woman attractive, you find her attractive. It's. It's not.
If she's saying that they, you know, enhance their beauty with long hair.
Exactly, exactly. That's what I try. I try to do that. I try to have long hair. I've always had long hair my whole life, except for one time when I wouldn't brush my hair when I was little, my mom made me cut it. And ever since then I've had long hair. Longish. Yeah.
Keep it that way.
Thank you. Thank you, honey. I will. So, on today's show, we'll be reading your emails that you sent to Feedback at Sex with Emily. And some of the topics include asking girls out, why you should just do it, what happens if you have one testicle, hand jobs, sex and pregnancy, and a few other things that you're going to hear about. And also we have a seminar coming up. Menace. This is going to be very exciting. Yes, it's called Group Sex with Emily and Her Girlfriends.
Whoa, wait, what's going on in this sediment?
It's a seminar.
What?
We're not really having group sex, but basically it's me and three friends of mine that we are in experts that we. You can just kind of. People can be a fly on the wall while they get technical. Well, we get technical about what women really want in bed. So it's a seminar. And I just figured after reading thousands of letters from all the listeners, and I decided it was time to offer my sex tips and relationships advice with a session. It's going to be a webinar. You're gonna be able to see me and it's dedicated to you and your questions. And we're also gonna be giving, like, the real tips that men want. And it's $199 for the seminar and spots are filling up.
Where's it located?
It's located in, well, anywhere. You can be anywhere. It's. Because it's a web.
Oh, okay.
Anywhere. So it's not. It's. It's a web webinar. So they'll be able to See me and you can do it from anywhere in the world that you live nice. And it's going to be in the next few weeks. So if you want to sign up, go to my website, look under seminar on the homepage and just email me feedbackexwithemily.com.
I'Ll make sure to have a seat in front of my computer for you.
It's just like, you know, when girls are talking about sex, it's like, that's the stuff that you really want to hear.
Because women are brutal. They. When they're together, they. That if you really want to hear the honest truth on how they feel about something.
Yes.
Just be around.
That's true. I mean, the other day I was actually talking to my friend. We were prepping for the show. We were thinking about it, and I, Jessica, who's been working on the show and doing some producing, we all of a sudden, we were waiting for you. Last week, we were talking about orgasms and we just came up that, like, how does she orgasm? We both have orgasm in a very. I'm not gonna get into the details of it right now, but in a very similar way. And it was very weird that we both needed the same exact thing to happen to orgasm. So I'm just gonna tease you.
You have to get your ass slapped.
Not. No way. Not talking about it. But I couldn't believe that another woman had the same thing. So it's just. I've heard of this before, but I didn't know. So we just. Women, we talk about the real stuff that you wanna know.
All right.
All right.
How's that Now I'm very interested on what I know.
I'm not gonna tell you what it is until you come to the seminar.
The seminar.
I know.
Do I get to learn how you orgasm with the.
Yes. You can listen in on the webinar.
Okay.
I think so. I think you should. I think you can't talk, but you could listen.
I'll have a muzzle on.
Yeah, exactly. So, yeah. So it's good to be back. God bless America. Thank God it's over, though. Fourth of July. Yeah, it was fun. But I'm happy to be back in San Francisco.
I'm a workaholic. I love being back at work.
I know. You are, aren't you? Okay, well, let's get into some mail. We're read mail. We've got sex in the news and we've got tips today.
Okay.
Which is very exciting.
What you got?
I got some letters here. Thanks, everyone, for writing.
Is that hate mail?
No, I don't read those. No. I don't get a lot of hate mail. But if you have hate mail that you want to send me, you can send it and I will read it. Hi, Emily. My name is Mark from England. I have just one testicle and I'm not so well hung. I tend to compensate with generous foreplay and good stamina, but I still lack confidence. Any tips? P.S. love the podcast. Queue up with the good work. Thank you, Emily. Okay, one testicle is not a big deal. I actually have dated a guy with one testicle. You can't really.
You have?
Yeah.
No way.
Yeah. He had testicular cancer and got it removed.
No way.
Yeah, like, at a really young age.
Tom Green had that happen. Who else?
Not a big deal. Women are not. I don't even think you notice, really. You just. You really. It's not like you look that awkward. It's. They kind of blend in together anyway. Usually I think the testicles and so I don't think that's a big deal. I don't think that's anything to be insecure. Insecure about, Mark. And I think. And you're not so well hung. Again, we've talked about this on the show. This is going to be inconclusive argument forever. Does it matter? Does it not matter? Sure, there's some women that are size queens and they're going to care, but most women I talk to, most women that we've come in contact with during the life of this show are not that hung up on the fact that you are not well hung. Yeah, I'd have to say penis size does not matter as much.
It doesn't matter. It is. It's just the time that you put into pleasing them, basically.
Well, he says that he compensates with generous foreplay and he's got lack of. Lack of any. He has good stamina, but he still lacks confidence.
All these people, the. The only way you're lacking confidence is because you're thinking about.
Exactly. I was just going to say that's total choice, Mark. That you are thinking about it. Lacking confidence is a choice that you make every day to just start to tell yourself more positive messages. I mean, that you have to rewire your brain. When you've got lack of confidence, it means that you're sending negative messages to yourself, which aren't true.
Yeah, I lack confidence in body image. Like, I'm a fat mess, but I'm still getting laid. You know, it doesn't matter.
Right?
It doesn't matter to you.
And you're not A fat mess. But women are not. Women are not that into. I don't know, maybe there's our women who into the bodybuilders and whatever, but I feel like men's bodies, it's so much more about personality and about confidence than it is about anything else than us checking out your abs.
Yeah, I had this perfect example of this girl. She was going crazy over some guy that's like totally fit, washboard abs, whatever. But do you know what? I was banging that chick.
It doesn't matter, right?
Exactly. It doesn't matter, Mark. I'm just saying, just turn it around. When you find yourself sitting self criticizing, you just have to say five positive things about yourself. Yeah, that's what my mom used to make me do when I was little, when I was negative about something. She'd say, now you have to say five positive things.
I like your mom. When we're gonna get her on the.
Show, we'll get her back on again. She's awesome. Yeah, okay. Hey Emily, been listening to your podcast for a while. Very fun and informative. I'm 19 years old and have always been quite shy and lacking in self confidence. So I've never really been able to pluck up the courage to ask a girl out on a date. Anyway, today I was getting the bus home from work and I saw this totally beautiful girl sitting, spellbinding, brown hair, pale blue eyes, only about five feet. I'm five seven, so shorter girls are better. Blah, blah, blah.
Beautiful.
So as we're on the bus, I thought about what you said on the show about girls liking it if guys are confident enough to just go up and ask them out and that we shouldn't be afraid of rejection. In my head, I kept rehearsing what I was going to say to her and deciding that this was going to be the time that I was going to be man enough to actually just take that step and not be telling my friends later in the day about the hot girl on the bus that I let go by. So after a minor delay due to breakdown and as I was about to get off, I told myself, just do it. And I turned her and said, hi, this is my stop and I don't really do this much, but I quite like you and was wondering if I could have your number. She smiled and seemed surprised but also flattered and said mine. I told her yes and she said that she had a boyfriend, but she thought it was nice that I asked. I said thanks, sorry for bothering you and got off feeling so happy and proud of myself. That even though I got turned down, I didn't care because I'd been able to ask her in the first place. Place. So finally, thank you so much for helping me get out of my shell and start getting involved and also for your helpful tips. You're amazing. Love the show. Adam19 Pegswood in the UK.
That is awesome.
I loved that letter. That is just so.
That's what we preach all the time.
All the time. You just got to ask them out. You just. And it's like a game. You're going to get better at it. Like Adam next time it's going to. You're not even going to do the. Probably the pre. Thinking about it. You might just do it.
Look, he didn't die. He was able to write us back.
He loved it. He got rejected. That is just how you're gonna build confidence is just keep doing it. I love this letter we get Adam. Email letter. I still call him letters even though no one writes me letters. But you could write me a letter. Okay. Dear Emily, wow, great TV show. Better than Sex and the City. Way better. Is the show being picked up. Plus great podcast and I think that you are gorgeous. Thanks for all the good voice. John, the French guy. Hey, John. He's talking about this TV pilot that I have that I shot. I don't think. I don't know where it's gonna ever air on television, but it's be gonna cool. You can see my life in San Francisco. It's called Chasing Emily and it's on my website.
Really, really good. I was actually talking about it upstairs. I was at tv.
Okay.
Because where we do the studios, there's TV studios above us. And I was talking about how good it was to them.
Really?
Yeah. They should look at it and pick the cw. I don't know if they have enough money to shoot because it's a really.
It was high production. Yeah.
Pilot.
I know. So I don't know. I mean, I still get interested in it, but if anyone wants check it out, you can go to Vimeo and Chasing Emily and look for Chasing Emily or my website Chasing. Anyway, thank you for writing about that. I appreciate it. Okay. Dear Emily, well, I've never had more success with online dating than some hookups, with some exceptions, but never anything serious. I have to disagree about OkCupid, at least purely on looks.
Oh, it's terrible.
Menace did not like OkCupid.
I explored some more after that just to talk to some friends and like, they're really bad for straight people.
He says maybe not in San Francisco. But in Chicago there are tons of hotties, a lot of them Midwest. A lot of them have kids or 18. Neither of which is particularly appealing to me, but the quality is there. I've been on a lot of dating sites and though friends and activities are the great way or way to go to meet people, I'd say OkCupid is the best I've seen. I've been a member since 2005. As somewhat of an aside, I run a music podcast and I'd be curious to think what you think is the best music for sex. For sex, work in technology and going to conferences, death metal and such. There are often literally no straight women. So in my activities.
Okay, so OkCupid. I don't know, what about you?
What do you preach? I mean, what is the.
The websites that I preach? Yeah, I think that match.com and nerve seem to be really popular, at least in San Francisco Bay Area where I am nerv.
Never heard of it.
You never heard of Nerve?
Nope.
I don't know. A few years ago Nerve was people like eharmony, I guess, but it's not. I mean, but I have heard these stats and it's true. I mean, I think it's even in one of the advertisements for Match. And I think again, it's regional. So anywhere you're living in the world, there's going to be the niche websites that are right for that. But that one in five. One in four people meet online now. And I believe that that number could even be higher than that, like 2 and 5. Because I swear to God, every time I'm hearing a story about someone now meeting and falling in love and getting married, they met online. Do you hear these stories all the time? You know, Facebook way more than you used to. I never met anyone on Facebook or I know you did. And MySpace, Facebook and Twitter, I've conquered them all. I have not done that. My mom said to me though, because I think she's worried that I'm not dating and I don't have a boyfriend. She said to me when we were leaving, I was flying back yesterday, we were having lunch and she said, do you think that maybe you should check out one of those online dating sites, Emily?
Uh huh.
Yeah. And I said, I, you know, I'm not really looking right now, so I'm not interested in doing that. But I.
She at least wants you to adopt a baby now?
No, she's cool. She's got three nieces. But I think she'd be happy if. I think she's Getting a little worried.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just about marriage alone or. She wants.
Just wanted to be alone. And she doesn't understand. I mean, everyone there in Michigan where I grew up is married.
Yeah.
Or divorced looking. Going on their second marriage, but pretty much that's the deal, so. And then. Yeah. So it was pretty funny and kind of sad. I felt sort of sad for her because she was sad for me, which she shouldn't be sad for me because I'm totally fine.
Yeah, totally.
Don't I seem fine?
Yeah, totally fine.
I'm on a manatorium by my own.
How long is this manatorium gonna last?
Well, that's. I'm glad you asked that question, because I really think that we. I should have an end date to it soon. At least in mind.
What's the day?
Today is day. July 6th.
July 6th. Okay. And this podcast. Probably up July 7th. Yeah, whatever. Okay. So it should end by July 10th.
Why don't we say the end of.
July, then it's July. All right, Sounds good. And July.
Okay. That's a good.
I mean, I don't want you to go. I don't want to force you to go find somebody. Right now.
I've got to go because I want.
You to run in to, like, some terrible guy just because you have to end your manatorium.
I know, and I'm really not. It's funny. It's like when you quit something or you're on a diet. The first three to four days are hard for me. It's like the first three to four weeks were weird, but now I'm like, I don't really think about it that much. I just kind of like my space, my home, doing my things, you know? But if I met someone, I'd be ready to go out soon.
Cool.
July 30th. Okay.
Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Remember, your biggest sex organ is your brain. So learn something new to do in bed. Click on the Sinclair Institute ad on my website and check out their adult sex education DVDs, sex toys, adult DVDs, and other sexy products. You'll save 50% on any Sinclair item when you put in Emily. 50 at checkout.
Hey, Emily. I'm glad to say I finally donated to the podcast for the first time. It felt so awesome to donate 50 bucks to a more than worthy cause. Wow, thank you so much. I've donated more, but we've all got bills to pay. I can't thank you and Menace enough for everything. I'm still single and looking, but thanks to you both, I'm not in such a rut about it. I always thought there was something defective with me. Since I was 28 and just as. As single as I was when I was. I'm just as single as I was when I was 16. I was actually very depressed about it and was absolutely sure I'd end up alone forever. But your show has taught me that I'm not the only one and that I'm not defective. A bit unlucky than most of you, but definitely worth being loved someday. Well, I'm stationed in San diego now. Maybe Mrs. Wright is here.
Oh, hell yeah.
And all I've got is do is find her. Just know without doubts that if, when I get married, I'm reserving you menace and both of your plus ones a seat next to my family. We heat for all that you've done. That's where you both belong in the first place. Like I said before, don't you stop. Don't you ever stop. Sincerely, Jamal R. O', Neal, U.S. navy. Thank you so much, Jamal. You are.
Jamal, I am so jealous of you right now that you are stationed in San Diego. There is a endless supply of chicks there.
It sucks here in San Francisco. I would kill to be in San Diego.
There are so many beautiful, beautiful people. Beautiful people in San Diego.
Yes.
The weather there, better than LA. It's like 85 degrees all year round. And everyone's into bodybuilding and working out and it's hot. Jamal, that was really one of the sweetest letters I've ever received and emails and thank you so much for the donation. If everyone. We are taking donations, there's a donate button on my website. Donate through PayPal if you want to do that. That'd be awesome. And Jamal, I'm glad to hear. I know you were feeling depressed. I got a letter from you a few months ago and you were stationed overseas, but now that you're in San Diego.
San Diego? Dude, it's on.
And you're 28. People shouldn't get married till they're 30.
Go downtown, San Diego. Just go party. Don't get in trouble.
Exactly.
Don't go to Tijuana. Stay in downtown and you'll be good.
I know, exactly. Yeah. Watch out for Tijuana. Have you ever dated anyone from San Diego?
I got dumped.
After a girl went to school in San Diego.
Yeah, but I've partied in San Diego many times. I've met a girl, actually. Yeah, I did meet a girl from San Diego. Really nice girl.
Think wherever they are, it's bad. Yeah, we know. Everybody I feel like I know everybody here.
No, no, it's. I've talked to many men that are from outside the area that come to visit and they say, dude, it's slim pickings here.
That's what they say about San Francisco.
Terrible.
My LA friends come here and they're like, really?
Yeah.
This is awful. Okay, well, we like it here.
I love living here. Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying it's not like crazy where there's just women everywhere compared to other places I go. I'm sorry.
Not a big going out night scene here where there's always places and there's populated streets with people walking around. I mean, even downtown is sparse. Yeah, you know, so.
But I go to Arizona, there's beautiful women there. I go to love Chicago, San Diego, Louisiana. I even go to freaking Boise, Idaho and I see better looking chicks.
I just think you're used to it. I think there are beautiful women here and you got to get out more than.
What do you mean? I go out all the time.
Come in, my friends. I don't know where you're hanging out.
Oh man, I want to date your friends.
Okay, that would be hilarious. Dear Mr. I love your show, but I have one issue. You are always talking about not getting serious young, which is what I was just talking about. I am 20 years old and I'm madly in love with my boyfriend of two years who is 30. And yes, of course I have doubts in my mind, but in my heart I know that he is perfect for me. Instead of telling women to mate till you're older, maybe try saying that if you find someone you're truly in love with. Age doesn't matter. It drives me crazy when you say to wait. I don't want to let things go because people think I'm too young and I don't need to sleep around to be happy. Your whole show seems to be tailored to the frivolous lifestyle. What is wrong with being in love in a long, happy, monogamous relationship? I love the show, but it's. Sometimes I feel like I can't relate to what you talk about. Sign Tierra.
What? Do you ever listen to me talk? I totally fully support that.
Menace believes in getting married young.
Honey, I feel like Tiara. Congratulations. I'm happy for your 20. I'm not saying these things don't work. They absolutely do. Sure, there's many stories about couples have been together for a long time. I'm just saying typically if you look at a woman, you look at a man. There's a lot of maturing and growing that needs to go on in your 20s. And it just happens that you. You go through a lot of changes, and hopefully, you know, maybe you found this partner that, you know, he's 30, you're 20, which is this very significant age difference, especially when you're 20. Between 20 and 30 different than 30 and 40. So I would just say, you know, what is the rush? Maybe you can be engaged for a while, but I don't think that there's a rush to get married. And I do really believe that waiting till you're older, you go through a lot and you learn a lot about yourself in your 20s. And it's just really hard to be in a relationship sometimes and change when the other person's not changing and stuff happens. But I appreciate you being so honest about the show, and I am not just about a frivolous lifestyle. I'd like to say that I do celebrate people who find monogamy and it works for them, but, you know, I happen to lead a frivolous lifestyle.
It's. I don't know. People kind of that are married get down on me for saying this, but I do believe in divorce. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. But if you believe that you found the right person that you want to be with, then you know what? Age doesn't matter to me.
Right. And I'd say, go for it. Then you're 20. I just. You can't even drink it. I mean, that's so young to me. I just think 20. I mean, it's like that is. I just look at myself at 20.
You could get wasted and end up cheating on your lover.
Right. I would just say, why don't you give it another year? Be engaged at least. And when you're doing that year, I would try to find out some important things about yourself and about him and what you want in a relationship and live together. Questions. Live together? Yeah. That's controversial, but I think you could live together. A lot of people say that living together doesn't help you get married. It kind of helps you people.
Yeah. But then you. You find out about that person, think it's important.
Just like people used to not have sex before they got married.
Okay, that's dumb.
Can you believe it? That's what our parents time. Now that they didn't. They kind of probably did. Knowing my mother, she probably did. Yeah. So. Okay, another letter here.
What do you got?
What's up, Emily? You and Menace both make very valid Points about hand jobs. You're both correct. I've personally experienced both good and bad hand jobs. And let me tell you, when they're good, they're awesome. And when they're bad, you'd rather be getting dental work done. Menace hits the nail on the head when he points out that because women don't have penises, they have no clue what they are doing down there. But just like anything in life takes practice. Emily, you're right about them being an awesome change of pace. In the past, I've had women do the deed in movie theaters and other such public places without anyone around having a clue. Can you say awesome? The bottom line is that hand jobs can be great if performed well. Enthusiasm and lube are the key. And under the right circumstances, if we are at home together, a handy should only be a precursor to things. To things to come or performed with a blowjob. Keep up with the good work. You guys are making the world a sexier place. One listener at a time. Insane trainer in Paris, California.
I'm telling you, summed up our debate.
Our hand job debate. It's been going on for months now.
It should be accompanied by a nice fellatio.
Right. Little face with fellatio in the hand job. Never heard it. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be.
Yeah, no, no solos.
No solos.
Yeah.
But I do just think it's a nice change of pace, the hand job. Well, we don't have to talk about the hand job anymore today, Mattis.
I've been getting some fellatio that I lately that there's a vice grip. Vise grip on the bottom of the shaft and it's cutting off circulation.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up. You've been getting.
Yeah, I've been like.
She's using her hand.
Yeah.
Too tight.
Too tight on the. The lower part of the shaft.
Does she have your testicles up?
No, just like.
Yeah, like, tight, like.
Yeah, really? Yeah, really tight. Cutting off the circulation. I'm like, look. Yeah.
Did you say anything to her?
Yeah, we've discussed.
And she still does it. She must be nervous.
Maybe.
I don't know. Don't you usually tighten your grip when you're nervous?
Yeah, but. Jesus Christ.
And she just leaves it sedentary there. Tight holding like.
Yeah, no, no. Yeah, she's moving it. She does gesticulating, but it's just too. It's just too much. And it like, it cuts off the circulation, you know? And then you have to wait a little while to get back to rise to the Occasion, you know?
Wow. And you still want to have sex with her?
Yeah, it's just. That's the only part. Like, hey, look, ladies, you know, calm down, right?
Like, you have to.
I know you're really excited to be.
With menace with me, but you got to loosen the grip youp got to. Yeah, yeah. You got to be able to move the hand. It should meant. And it should never be that tight, Right?
Never.
Like. Yeah, you should be able to pull it out. Like, I'm holding a pen.
It feels like it almost got ripped off.
Right. Were you like, ouch. Did you yell?
No, but it's just like. Okay, let up a little bit. Okay.
The best way to do that is just take her hand and loosen her fingers.
Yeah.
What did you do?
I got a pair of pliers and pull it off.
Yeah, you could do that too. That's another option.
I know this super hot chick that wants to go to the tool show in San Francisco.
Yeah? When is it?
In a couple weeks.
I want to go.
Yeah, I'm sure you do. It got sold out, like, within 15 minutes.
Sure. You never hook me up with tickets. That's cool, man.
No, because you're not giving me fellatio. Why am I gonna give you tickets?
Fellatio and I. You know what? I would not hold your penis too hard, okay? I wouldn't. I've got a good grip.
All right, look, I'm not giving any chicks tickets if I'm not getting fellatio.
Right? Exactly.
I'm not having chicks hanging around with me. Do you like flat?
Do you fan?
Yeah, I like fellatio. Who doesn't like fellatio?
Do you find that these girls are performing fellatio and not doing anything else? Like, I feel like women just go down.
No, no, they're doing.
They're doing it all.
Yeah, they're doing it all. Look, I've been preaching this lately to a lot of my guy friends. If the girl is. I can't. I'm not really gonna say what this means, but you can look it up. If they're not dtf, I'm not hanging out with them. I'm not gonna have them around town.
Friendly.
No.
What?
Down to F?
If they're not down, down to F. Okay?
I don't want them around me. I have enough friends. I don't need more friends.
You don't need more women friends?
I don't need. Yeah.
How long do you wait for sleeping with these women?
How long do I wait?
What do you mean? You sleep in the first night if they.
If they want to have sex, then I'll have sex with them.
What if they're down to F, but they wanted down to F after three dates or four dates? You don't take them on dates, probably.
No, I take. I take women on dates sometimes. But I'm saying, I'm like, I'm not gonna waste my time and my money and just to hang out with you.
So have you found that there were some women that you thought were down to F, and you go out with them and they're not?
Yeah, they're not down to F. Then I pulled the ripcord. Then I'm like, cool. Yeah, see you later.
Wow, you're getting a lot of action lately.
I'm just saying, like, my friends, they get into the. Friends, they get in the friend zone with women too much, and they. And they look back and they've already hung out with this. This girl for four or five months and gone out and done all these things. They didn't even have sex with them.
Some women. Some men actually appreciate women's company as opposed to now.
They. That's a lie. No guy wants to hang out with you just to hang out with you, Emily. I'm sorry. No.
Yes, they do.
No, they don't.
I believe that at one point, all my guy friends wanted to sleep with me. Or I've slept with them. But there does come a point. You're breaking my point right now.
Guys, stop wasting your time.
That is a great but. So your friends who hung out with the chicks for three to four months, where they kept thinking that this is gonna be the night. This is gonna be the night. And three months go by. That's crazy.
Yeah.
But. But three, four months is a long time at this day and age, at our age, it's.
It's cool. It's cool to, like, you know, have acquaintances and, you know, girls that you talk to here and there that your friends, but not girls that you're gonna take out on a night on the town and not hook up with.
Right.
I'm sorry. It's crazy.
Well, I think that if you. That's what your goal is. And she's not sleeping with you for three months. She's probably not going to.
Yeah.
Unless you get her really drunk, which I don't. I don't.
I don't recommend that.
I don't recommend that at all. Not that that ever works for me either.
Ever.
Ever. Oh, my God. Never. Okay. Sex in the news Sex in space Houston. Let's get it on. Have you Heard about this?
Oh wait, I think I did.
Plenty of odd things have happened in space. Animals have taken flight. The Hubble telescope has captured photos of mind bending light shows. And our interstellar ventures have seen sparked more than a few flying saucer tales. But in low Earth orbit, we now know of one thing that isn't happening. There's apparently no sex allowed on the International. On the International Space Station.
No.
I thought they were a group of professionals. He said. Alan points Dexter, a NASA commander would have us believe. He says we're a group of professionals. Personal relationships are not an issue. We don't have them and we won't. There's no word on how many astronauts may have wanted to. And you know what happens when you tell people they can't do something and think about it. These are people who spend months crammed together in a confined space and they're likely to experiment with science and mechanics. Surely they must be curious how zero gravity would work. So they're saying though, no sex in the space station.
I don't believe it. They've had to test this out. They've had it. It's science.
Yeah, but people are watching them the whole time too when they're.
Yeah, there's probably like cameras on.
How would you do it? Do you think they masturbate? Can you masturbate in space? No.
Who wants to do that? Who wants to be caught masturbating in space?
Don't you kind of have to masturbate if you're up in space for a while? Like, don't you. How often do you masturbate?
How often do I masturbate?
Yes.
I don't know.
You do know.
I don't know.
Three times a week.
Three times a week? Well, not when you're having sex all the time.
Some people do masturbate more when they're having more sex. Just. There's no. There's no normal. You don't have to get.
So what. How often do you masturbate? I'm not being cranky, I'm just saying.
What's the word? I couldn't even think of my brain. I masturbate. I go in phases.
Did you masturbate on the plane over here?
No, but I did masturbate last night when I got home.
Really?
If you want me, just full disclosure.
Yeah.
Yeah. What did you do?
What did you use to masturbate?
I used a vibrator.
What kind?
I used the fairy wand.
It's like the.
Is there a unicorn on the side of it?
No, it's like A. It's. I don't even know how to explain it, but I liked it. I do. But you know what I like? My favorite is pocket rocket.
Yes.
Yeah, Pocket rockets are really good one. It's a vibrating thing. Clitoral stimulator. And I was psyched. I walked in my apartment, I hadn't been home in five days and I just like turned out the lights where it was dark and I was like turned up the lights, turn on candle, lit a candle.
A candle.
I love candles. My apartment is conducive to it. I've got a great apartment.
You lit a candle for myself. For yourself to masturbate to. That's kind of weird.
Well, it was like I got home, it was dark. My place was just like whatever. I.
Any music?
No music.
Television on in the background?
No, I don't have a tv.
What?
I haven't had a TV in a long time. I'm gonna get one though. I don't watch tv. I know.
You're one of those. I'm too cool for tv.
No, I'm not. I don't watch TV because I literally don't have time. And when I'm home I'd rather be doing other stuff, like working. I'm always working. Isn't that weird?
But you lit a candle. Who does that?
Well, my apartment smelled funny anyway. And so it's a scented candle because whenever I come in from out of town, the windows were closed. It's like musky. So I lit a candle, I put my some stuff away and I masturbated and it was awesome. Okay, great. So speaking of masturbation. This is about masturbation. But I'm going to make. I'm going to segue into the next story.
All right.
It's about sex. Carolyn Cartwright, British woman taken to court again for noisy sex. We talked about this a few months ago, but she, this woman has gone to. She has been taken to court because she's so noisy in the bedroom. 48 year old Brit Catherine Cartwright ignored a court ordered ban on her noisy sex and has pleaded guilty to making love with sounds described as a murder unnatural and capable of drowning out her neighbor's televisions.
No way.
She's been banned from her noisy romps after hundreds, not like dozens, but hundreds of complaints. Even her postman and a woman who walked her child to school past Cartwright's house complained. And she says, I don't understand why people ask me to be quiet because to me it's normal. I didn't understand where they were coming from. I've tried to minimize the situation by having sex in the morning, not at night. So the noise isn't waking anybody, she said. However, the BBC reported a neighbor's statement about the lovemaking. She said the noise. The neighbor said the noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain. I cannot describe the noise. I've never ever heard anything like it.
Oh, they're just, they're just haters.
How does she not know, though, that she's so loud?
Maybe it's just so high pitched. She's just drowned out.
She must really be in the moment, which I have to give her credit for being in the moment and not even realizing because, like, when I make noise during sex, I'm. I'm aware. Sometimes it does feel like you can't really help it. Sometimes I'm like, oh, wow, that was loud. But I'm conscious that I'm making the noise.
Uh huh. Yeah, I just. Yeah, just cover her mouth, something.
Put a pillow over it.
They. Maybe they're. She's not as fortunate as these rappers, but there's a rapper named Nas and, well, his ex wife now Kelis. They actually, they were so noisy that they bought a house out in the middle of nowhere just to have sex.
You know what? More power to him. I think that's a great idea. I was thinking that because I live in an apartment building, I have neighbors and I know they can hear because I can hear them. I don't actually hear them having sex that often, but I'm sure they hear me because the walls are super thin anyway and our bedrooms are right next to each other and it bothers me. Like, I don't want to have to think about someone listening to me.
Do they ever smile at you?
Like, hey, no, I don't see that much. They're lesbians. I don't hear them. I don't know.
Last night was good, huh?
They're like, yeah. They see the guys coming in at. Well, it's been very quiet, as we know, since I've been on Mandatorium. But I wonder, like, there's cobwebs everywhere. Exactly. There's cobwebs on my everything. There's cobwebs on my everything. That's gonna change in a few weeks because I think I've learned a lot in the mentoring and it is time to give it up, like we said.
Yeah.
Okay. Let's get into some sex tips.
Okay, what do you got?
I got some here. Sex isn't a race. Sex isn't a race. Take time to explore her focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle two inches around the outside of her vagina. And don't cross the line while you lick, kiss and caress. This is what we talk about all the time. Just take focus on her thighs and lower belly. Don't move to her vagina just yet. And kiss, lick and crest, lick and crescent. Do that two inches outside of it. The vagina.
What about if she wants me to?
No.
You want her to trade the vagina?
Not yet. They think, just say no. I'm just taking my time.
Yeah. You're not gonna have it so important. I can. I can't take time if they want me to. But if they want. They want the D, you know, I might just have to give it to them.
The D?
Yeah.
What's that?
The penis. The D. The other word. Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
Jesus.
I don't like using words like that on the show. That's filthy. That's filthy.
You have a filthy mouth. Emily, I. Every time I try to, like, subtly slip something, I say it. You just. Just go ahead and say.
Try to be a nice girl. Okay. Give her plenty of time. If you want morning sex, set your alarm at least 20 minutes early. A woman won't want sex if she's hurried. And she'll probably need about 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That's how long it takes, people.
Set the alarm 20 minutes.
20 minutes. That's the average guys.
You must masturbate a couple hours beforehand so you can last 20 minutes.
Some guys can last that long, no problem. Some guys last a lot longer than that. Some guys last a minute. Mm. Yep. The minute Man.
You don't want to be the minuteman.
You don't want to be the minute man pre game. But if, you know.
If you know, you're a minute man. Pre game. Dude, pregame.
But some guys, even if they pre game, they still. Because it becomes psychological and becomes anxiety. If you're a premature ejaculator, you can work on it. It's A lot of it is psychological. Yeah, we can talk about that another show.
Gotta get in the Zen mode, man.
Okay. Exactly. Okay. Grunts are better than nothing. She'll give longer and more enthusiastic oral sex if you give her a verbal response. Even appreciative grunts are better than silence. I so agree. I was with this guy, having sex with him a few years ago, and this guy I dated for a while, and so whenever we had sex, he would orgasm. And he was like, this is the noise he made. Ready?
Did you hear that?
That was It.
That was.
Was like nothing. It was like a grunt. Like a half a grunt. Like an ins. Like a swallowed grunt.
No way.
It's so hot when a guy makes a noise. And I know that guys are so self conscious of it, but.
Like that or.
No, that would be weird. But it'd be better than nothing. This guy. Like you think that nothing even happened. I'm like, did you just have an orgasm? Because I had no idea.
What was that?
So it's better to be enthusiastic. She'll give you longer, more enthusiastic oral sex. It says if you give her a verbal response. I love when men respond to my sexual.
Of course you do.
Ego baby.
I think you're an egomaniac in bed.
Yeah. I'm not. I don't remember what I'm like in bed because it's been so long.
Oh no.
Okay. Vary the stimulation when you're all the way inside her. Add side to side movement or up and down pelvic pressure against her clitoris to vary the stimulation. So when you're inside.
Like a milkshake.
Yep. Add side to side movement or up and down pelvic pressure against her clitoris. You gotta always pay attention to the clitoris. And side to side is good too. You don't think. It's not. It's less intuitive to go side to side.
Mm.
So. But I think it's important. Okay. Find her G spot. Have you been curious where the G spot is, menace?
Not really. But you know what? It seemed to find it sometimes use.
Your thumb to press on a G spot as if you were making a thumbprint on her vaginal wall. You're shooting for the area about 2 inches inside the vaginal opening of the front side. So do you know what that is? The inside. You may have come Heather thing. And it's the. You can google it. But hopefully.
You should start putting diagrams on your website.
I know I should. There's a lot I should do.
You should.
Diagrams of diagrams. Finding the G. On my site.
The finding the G spot.
You're right.
Top 10 sex tips. Top tens people love. I've been doing those lately on my site.
I gotta do that too.
You should do it. Top ten. It's really easy.
Okay.
It takes me like half hour to figure them out. That's it then. That's it.
Do research. A bunch of stuff.
And then, you know, it's just off top of the head.
I've got a lot of sex tips.
Yeah.
Like top 200.
You've read so many books that it blows my mind. And I'm sure you can come up with the top 10.
You're right. I'm gonna do it. It's on the list. Okay. Use your tongue wisely. When kissing, don't use your tongue like a dart. In and out and in and out. Instead, try varying motions and amount of pressure. Do you know those people who you kiss and they just like, with their tongue darting in and out? Yeah, like a snake.
Like a reptile.
Yeah, exactly. Haven't you been with those reptilian people?
Yes. They bite. They look. They do that. And then, like, the teeth, like, seems like it's going to bite your face off.
Right?
I'm telling you. You think I'm, like, trying to be funny, but I'm. I'm telling you the truth.
She tried to bite your teeth. It's like.
It's weird. Like, it seems like it's something out of a movie where they're. They somehow know how to dislocate their jaw and it like, almost consumes your entire face.
I haven't been with anyone like that. Do you think it's more of a chick thing?
I think, like, some chicks don't know how to kiss. Yeah, I've almost had lips bitten off.
Wow. But don't you like when a girl. Like when a woman nibbles on your lip?
Yeah, but sometimes they just bite too hard and they pull on it.
Who are the women that you're with?
I'm just telling you, you got bruises.
On your penis and your lips.
Now we've heard I have some more wounds.
Where do you meet these Sex wounds.
Is what we used to call them around town. Around town.
I don't know, kids today. I'll be like, don't mess with menace.
Yes, please.
Aw, poor little menace is poor penis. Okay, tell her what she wants to hear, words that she loves to hear.
Ego. Ego.
Ready? I want to make you feel good. It's so true. When a guy says what feels good? I just really want to make you feel good. That's so hot. I can't tell you how many guys don't act like they care if you have an orgasm or if you are pleased, so to say. Just to say those simple words. I want to make you feel good.
Now, I want to give them orgasms. And I want them to be pleased because I want them to tell their friends about it. That's what I want. That's my whole goal.
You want to sleep with their friends?
Not because I want their friends, but, you know, it's kind of an ego boost for me. To say, you know what I did so well, she tells her friends about it, you know, that's interesting.
I hope they don't talk about me.
Why not?
Do you think all guys talk?
I don't think guys do. I think girls. Yeah, they get really deep, right into.
Like, just every little seminar we're gonna have.
Yeah. Every little aspect about it. Guys, not so much. I never go into details with my guys.
Right, well, guys don't care that much. Girls are like, okay, so what did you do? You weren't top. And then he put his finger where? And then you went down there and then.
I don't even tell my guy friends who I sleep with. The only times they know I'm sleeping with somebody because, like, there's a girl with me on a date or something, but I don't call them up and like, hey, check. You know?
But you used to when you were younger, right?
Not even then. No. I never, like, say, hey, man, you got to go online and check out this chick I just banged. I don't do that. Yeah, you got to keep it on the dm.
I want to see the picture of the girl squeezing your little penis too hard. I don't mean little, but, you know, your cute penis too hard. I'm assuming it's cute. Okay, ease into dirty talk slowly. It's best to test the waters a bit rather than immediately going for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk. Start off with telling her how good she feels. That's a nice way, baby. You feel so good. Maybe. You feel so good. Do you talk dirty?
Yes, but not in that way.
Didn't you say that you wanted them to initiate at first? Was that you?
I want them to talk dirty. Yes. I want them to talk dirty because I'm more comfortable, right?
Because she might be like, what, I'm a woman or something.
Yeah. Because I did have one person where I tried to just talk dirty, and she kind of shut me down. She's like, yeah, I'm not really into that. I'm like, whatever, you're still sleeping with me. Shut up.
Would you say that she wasn't into just, like.
She just wasn't really into the dirty. Girls are into it.
I'm totally into it.
Yeah.
I can't get enough of it. I love it.
Anyways, we got to wrap this up.
I gotta wrap it up. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Wrap it up every time.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening to Second with Emily. I appreciate it. You can find me on Facebook. Emily Morse. M O R S E Emily Hope Morse slash what is it? Facebook/EmilyHope Morse and Twitter Emily Morse and Menace Whitemen White Menace.com thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.
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