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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day.

Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about Sex. So much. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good, but, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you feel like.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com, where you can listen to all of our podcasts. And what you have to do right now is sign up for our mailing list. We've got so much happening. We're giving everyone who signs up for our mailing list a free report that I wrote on the biggest mistakes after nine years of doing this that everyone is doing in bed. So five biggest mistakes men are making in bed and the five biggest mistakes women are making in bed. You just got to enter your email address. We won't share the list, and we're going to send you the report, so do that. And everyone, thanks for checking out the show. You can find me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily. And I'm here with Menace. What up, Menace?

Hello. How are you doing?

Hello.

It's so good to talk to you. Be with you, darling.

It's so sunny and bright in San Francisco. It's just like I'm in LA with you right now.

That's so bizarre.

It's crazy, right?

Yeah.

I got. I got to spend some time with you in la. It was.

I know. That was fun. It was amazing.

You say I never visit you when I'm in la and I hung out with you. I went to your place, which you already moved out of, which was amazing, right?

My place was epic. And I moved into a less epic place, but a better location. I'm three blocks from the beach in la, so it's not like that in Venice Beach. Yeah, but that place was great. It was good to see you. You came to see me on Loveliness? Yes. Everyone can check me out Thursday nights, 10 to midnight, on Loveline, wherever you live. Yeah, it was fun job.

Yeah, it was great.

Thank you, honey.

And then I can't. I come back like a week later for like 24 hours. And then you're upset that I don't visit you. It's like, dude, I can't come.

I was kidding.

I can't visit you. Like, every single time I go to la. I try as much as I can, but I'm there for you.

I was kidding you. I was kidding. I wasn't that upset. At least I got to see you once at midnight. That was fun. After I did my radio show. But, yeah, that's that's awesome. And then you're going to Coachella this weekend, which I just got tickets, but I don't think I can go.

What?

What? I don't know. I just got back from Vegas, dude. I just got back from Las Vegas and today's show is actually about casual sex. We're going to be talking about casual sex. Like, how do you know if it's a one night stand? What's friends with benefits mean? And some other things because Vegas just inspired. Inspired me. Not that I had any casual sex in Vegas, but a lot of people did and I thought that was a good topic for our show today. So we're going to get into that in a little bit. And we're also going to be reading the emails that you sent to feedback at sex with emily.com.

Okay.

Anyway, Vegas is freaking exhausting. Yeah, go ahead.

Oh, my God. Well, we'll talk about Vegas because, you know, I love Vegas. But real quick, let's go back to Coachella. Two things. Did you get VIP tickets?

I'm sure I did, yeah.

Are you sure you did? Well, I don't have the VIP for this weekend. Only for next weekend. I'm going both, so.

Oh, you're gonna fly down both weekends?

Yeah. So if you're not going the first week and hook me up with a VIP ticket if you have one.

Yeah, I think I can. The second weekend. Yeah.

Number number two is we have a ton of new listeners since you've been on television and they haven't heard your Coachella story. You had sex at Coachella Inside the festival. Backstage.

I had said. That is true. I went to. So Coachella music festival happens every year. It's in Palm Springs and it's a big music festival, if you don't know this. And we. I had sex. I went with this guy whose friend ran the festival like he was like a big shot. And we had backstage, like Free Range. And we were backstage and like behind the stage, like in the grassy area. We had sex. Yes, I did have sex backstage. That's my infamous story about Coachella. And it was fun, good times. Maybe you could do that too, Manus. And then we could share stories.

I know. Swap stories. I've only had sex backstage at the Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View, California, but that's about it. Not at a major musical.

That's not as sexy. That's not as sexy. I'm just telling you.

Yeah, I mean, I had at least. At least I wasn't out in the field doing it. I was I was in a dressing room somewhere.

Oh, that's better. I was in a field. You're right. Yeah, but I love. I love Coachella. Yeah, but what?

But let's talk about Vegas. One of my favorite places. I'm already booked to go there in.

June, so why is it your favorite place?

I. Do you know what this is? This is how bad I am. I'm the worst person go to Vegas with because all I do is sleep in my hotel room because the rooms are so nice. I get up, I'll, like, eat some meal. I'll get really. I'll get really drunk and then I'll go sleep again. And it's just. It's just a series of naps the whole time. And I don't go like crazy.

Yeah.

I don't go crazy and go to pool parties and, you know, go to all these places where you need a table and all that fancy stuff. No, I just go there to shop, eat, and drink. That's it. But how was your time?

My time was good. I go every year for the international lingerie show, which was really fun because it's all the sex toy people, all the sex products and sex toys and sex pills and all that stuff. And it's also lingerie and there's like hot chicks walking around in lingerie the whole time. You would love it. And then I saw a lot of our sponsors there. I got to hang out with the mask people. Max for Men, Good Vibrations, and Good Vibes was actually showing off their Pleasure Works line, which is so cool. They've got this amazing lubricant came out with. And you know how I feel about lube. It's called Please and it's. It's cream. It's a cream based lubricant. But they also. I got one of their new toys. I got. Oh, my God. My suitcase was. Was over £50 because it was filled with new sex toys.

Jesus.

And by the way, if anyone knows, I moved to. I got rid of everything I own in San Francisco when I moved to la, except for my sex toys and my sex books. So now I've got more. But Good Vibes, they have this new thing called the Butterfly Bliss silicone water waterproof vibrator. And it's so cool. And if you want anything from Good Vibes, they've got best place to buy toys GV Emily. 20 for 20% off orders of $100 or more. And I also did a video with Coyote from Good Vibes. We went around because it's like every year, like People come and they display like what the newest technology is in sex toys. So like, for example, there was a new sex toy there that was like using the. The. The pulsations. Like it was by sonic, like sonic toothbrush. So it's not a vibrator, but it has like that sonic pulse of like the electronic toothbrush and. Or the electric toothbrush or whatever it is. And then. And then there's a. And then there's the. What else was there? There was like someone else who did. There was just crazy like, oh, oh. And then I got this vibrator that actually like, it's a pulsator. It's not a vibrator. It's by Fun Factory and it's called the Skin the Stronic. And it actually, I guess what someone told me is it feels like someone's actually having sex with you the way it is. Like the way it moves inside of you or something. Haven't tried it yet. So it's really fun for me who's like, you know, love sex toys as, you know. So I got to see all the fun stuff and got to go. I was out till 4:30 in the morning one night, which you would appreciate. And that was fun. We were just dancing and it's all really good people. You think people in the sex business are all kind of whatever, like me creepy. But I'm. We're not at all. We're all cool people just doing something we love and we're all about pleasure, you know. So everyone there was just about like, you know, giving pleasure to the world and making sure everyone has a good time. So it's like happy people. And yeah, it was fun. Yeah.

The question is, you said you ran into somebody that knows somebody that knows me. What was that?

Oh my God. That always happens. People are like, I know white men. I'm. I'm okay. This girl, this woman at Fun Factory, which they make amazing toys, she said to me, she's like, oh, I'm best friends with so and so. Who's best friends with menace? I'm like, okay. So then I texted you. Yeah. So do you know that? Yeah, I do.

Yeah. She the person you're talking about. I don't know if she wants to be named on the show, but she's like one of my best friends from high school. Even though.

Isn't that funny?

It's so annoying because her, she started listening to this show.

Yeah. And so she always texts me about it. And we text each other and all we do is play phone tag all the Time. Like, she will call me. I don't pick up. I try to call her. She won't pick up. And it's been going on for months. I can't get on the phone.

You gotta catch up with her. Well, I caught up with her best friend. Her other friend. So anyway, that was fun. Yeah, that's funny. Everyone knows Menace. They're like, oh, how's Menace? And everyone's like, are you guys still doing the show? I'm like, of course we're doing the show. Like, it's. We're doing a lot of shows and we're. They're all gonna be. They're all on itunes. You can get them on itunes or on my website, sexwithemily.com. and we're also playing some of our past shows that you might have missed, which are all relevant because, you know, we're talking about oral sex a year ago. It still is relevant to today. So we've got tons of shows on itunes, so you should subscribe and do all that fun stuff because we are never breaking up. We're together forever. Right, Menace?

For sure. Until you annoy the hell out of me.

But, you know, which I haven't from a distance.

Have not worked well when it comes to technical stuff. Oh, my God, you drive me crazy, dude.

That new mutt. I know.

I. So I went to your house a couple weeks ago, and you had a new system. We set it up. We were right there. I showed you exactly how to use it. You had your computer and your microphone, everything. We sh. We went through the program.

You.

You hit record, everything worked fine. And the moment I leave you alone, you're calling me frantically on how it doesn't work.

Wait, did I. It's because I saved the file wrong. We can tap on this offline, but you can't go back. You can't go back and save it again as something else.

No, you saved it as a really bad file format.

But I was in a hurry. I'm an idiot. Whatever. I'll fix that. So, okay, so we'll do this. It'll be fine, though. And then. Okay. Anyway, so Vegas. Yeah, it was a good time, but I don't love it because we're at the. Okay, first of all, not to bash whatever hotels, but we're staying at the Rio. Do you know where the Rio is?

Oh, my God, it's so off the Strip. It's by the Palms.

Yeah, it's by the Palms because that's where they do the international lingerie show. So you have to stay where the conference is, because it's just a pain in the ass getting there. And I just feel like with Vegas, like, none of the windows open. It's so smoky. Like, I feel so unhealthy right now. Like, I feel like I smoked 100 pack of cigarettes and I did not.

I hear they haven't. I hear they have an amazing buffet there and Penn and tellers at the Rio. But I never. I never go over there. You know me, I'm too. I'm too bougie. I go to the Cosmopolitan in the City Center. I gotta stay there. Like, there are the R. Yeah. Or something. You always stay at crappy hotels every time you go to Vegas. What the hell?

No, no, no. I had no. I have to for this festival. And the first time was just a mistake, but I have to because this conference. Whatever. Doesn't matter. But it was. It was. It was. It was really fun to see all the new products. And you can check out my video with all that stuff coming up soon. Soon. And what else? There's so much I have to tell you that.

What else? Yeah, so I don't know. I'm. I literally just woke up because I've been like. I was flying. Vegas just exhausts you. Like, you can't sleep. You literally, like, don't know what time it is. You don't know what day it is. There's creepy men hugging, you know, hitting on you all the time.

Yeah.

But I just don't love it like you do. But the shopping seemed good and I did not have a chance to shop, so I just was inside of a festival all day.

You didn't hit up the Christian Louboutin store?

No, there's a couple of them there.

But check this out. Oh, we have. We have a listener that hit me up on Facebook asking for Vegas recommendations. She's going to Vegas for the first time this weekend. And I was terrible because all I gave was like. Like buffet recommendations. And I said, oh, go to Old Vegas, Fremont Street. You gotta experience that. Go on the, like, zip line or something. Totally. Stuff that you would not like to do.

No, exactly. But I did go get a foot massage in Chinatown. There's a little Chinatown mall, which they call, like, the Chinatown of Vegas, but really it's just a mall. But I got a foot massage on the last day.

Nice.

I did get. I left the hotel. I know one of my. One of my people took me there. One of my sponsors. It was very nice. And then. What else was I going to tell you? I don't know, my brain is like, what's going on?

What's going on in your dating life? What's, what's up with that?

I've kind of been seeing somebody. Oh, really?

Tell me more about this.

Yeah, I know. Only if you tell me. I'll tell you if you tell me. I've been dating. No, he's cool, he's awesome. I don't really know what is happening, but he is. Whatever. You know me, I never know. But he's good, he's fun. He's super fun. Nice guy. I have nothing else to say about it yet. What about you, Menace?

Me? I'm good, man. I'm dating someone that it doesn't mind not being around me all the time, which is good.

That's perfect. That's the kind of person that you need. Yeah, that's the kind of person I need. And I. Yeah, yeah.

I don't have somebody that's like needs my time because I can't provide it, so.

Exactly.

They make their own money so I don't have to support them. And that's cool.

That's cool too. You love that. You love someone who just lets you never wants to see you and just does your laundry. That's perfect.

It's amazing.

I know. That's so good. Menace. Okay, well, let's get into some of the emails from the people because we have so many emails coming in. We try to get to all your emails. It's hard to do, but we do read them all and we answer them on our website and we also answer them during the show. So thank you for emailing me@feedbackexwithemily.com so we'll get into this now. Dear Emily, I seem to have lost the power in the relationship. There's this woman I love and the flame kind of went off, but I really love her and would like the relationship back. How do I get the control back? Sign Dan. Okay, Dan, this is a tricky one because I don't know, we don't know enough information here how you lost the power in the relationship and you really, really love her and you'd like the relationship back. I would say you probably lost the power because of something that went down in your relationship with you guys. And I don't know if you guys had an argument, but you have to come back and show her that you're a new person, that you've changed, how getting back with you is going to be different. That's what women want to see. They don't just want to get back together. With you to get back together with you. If she ended it or she's pulling away, it's because she's not feeling something for you that she felt before. So you don't just hit her up again and say, hey, babe, I want to see you. It's like, oh, I've been working on that thing, or I've got a job or whatever it is that, you know, I'm going to perform oral sex on you more often, which is one of my favorite things. But, you know, I don't really know. I mean, do you feel that menace when you're in a relationship that the power kind of dynamic goes back and forth sometimes? You probably always have the power, but if you don't always have the power, do you feel like sometimes. You know what I mean? Like, don't you think it's hard just to get back? I mean, if you lose it?

I think as a man, if you don't have the power, it sucks because it's really hard. Once a woman's pretty much made up her mind, it is so hard to. To change it back.

Right.

Don't. Don't you think? I think a guy is. I think a guy, it's much easier to change, change his mind and, like, go back into a situation. Even though he knows it's bad, he'll do it anyways because he likes having sex. But when I feel like when a woman is done with you, she's. She's pretty much done with you, and it's so hard to redeem yourself, right?

So hard. I feel like. I feel like that. Yeah. If she may. If she does want to, you know, you want to just. Again, she made the decision. Reason, it's probably something you did, and she's going to want to know how you changed if you want to get her back. That's what I got to say. You got. I don't know if you have the control back, but if you want to get her back is what you're saying. I say you just talk to her about it and tell her, like, you know, why you want to be with her, why it's all changed, why you're a new man.

So. Okay, next email. Dear Emily, I have a little penis, and I just got in a relationship with a girl I really like, but we haven't had sex yet, and I'm afraid to because I feel like she won't like the sex. What can I do to make sure that she enjoys it? Signed, Ed. Okay, Ed, here's the deal. Women, men like, you know, penis Size comes up a lot. Is bigger better? Do women care? Sure. Just like men care about large breasts, and some guys like women with small breasts. There are some women who are size queens, that's true. But there are also women who really don't care about the size of your penis as long as you're able to put please her in the bedroom. So if you're able to, you know, do things to make sure that she has her good times, her orgasm or whatever it means for her, then I think you're going to be fine. And also the penis does not have to be massive for a woman to feel pleasure. The g spot's only 2/3 up in the vagina. But I would say, you know, get your oral sex skills polished up and find out what this woman likes and do a lot of foreplay. You say that you're putting off sex, and I'm wondering if that means you're also putting off foreplay. Hopefully you guys are fooling around and you're getting into it it a little bit and you're getting to know what she likes. Because if you, you can be an incredible lover. Intercourse is only a part of the equation. So there's so much more happening with sex. People are like, oh, there's foreplay. I touch her boobs, I touch her vagina, and then I stick my penis in her vagina. Like, there's so much more than that. Foreplay can go on for hours. Right, Menace?

Yes, many hours.

Never, never in Menace's life has it gone on for more than 10 minutes. But for a lot of people, it can go on for, you know, half hour, hour, whatever it is. So just make sure that you please her and find out what she likes. But I also wouldn't go in there with the worry about the penis. She might be fine with it, I'm telling you, she might not even. She might not care if you please her in other ways. So make sure she gets off first and then to have sex with her. And don't trip on your penis thing. Don't even think about it. Just try to put it out of your mind because then you're gonna, then you're also not gonna really get hard. And then that'll be a problem, which is so much of men who can't stay hard, get hard, keep it hard is A lot of it is psychological. A lot of it is like they're worried you're in your mind, oh, my God, she's gonna reject me. So just try to get into a peaceful Zen state. Give her lots of Foreplay, have sex. Go for it. I doubt it's gonna be any bad explosion like, you expect it to be some bad, you know, backlash on your penis. I know. Menace, you might not have this issue because your penis is massive, I assume, but.

Yeah. Do you have any guy friends who are like, dude, I gotta talk to you. I got a small penis. Like, has that ever happened? Do you guys ever share that?

No. Guy. Guys don'. Of that stuff. The guy. I've never had another dude say, my penis is small. Everyone exaggerates how. How big their penis is, no matter how small it is. So there's no. There's no way this conversation is going on.

I did. There was a man, though. There was a guy in. In Vegas who I was hanging out with. Not sexually, but as a friend. And he was like, yeah, well, my penis is really small. And I don't know if he was kidding. Like, I feel like guys who always talk about their small penis, like, can't really be that small if you're the one saying that you have a small penis. But maybe.

Yeah. I think guys Google it on the Internet and figure out if they have a small penis or not and what to do about it.

Right. Okay.

Don't you think? I'm sorry, we're not. We're not females. We're not, like, sharing all our feelings all the time. So I wish I could give you a better answer.

Right. That's okay, Menace. But, Ed, I wouldn't worry about it. I wouldn't trip on it. Don't trip on the penis. Okay. Hi, Emily. I have a question about asking out friends. While the issue isn't actually pulling the trigger, I guess my question what if we have lots of mutual friends? How do I make sure I do it in a way that I don't mess up the group vibe? Little background. I'm 30, she's 28. We've been friends for about seven or eight years. Yes, I know. She's into me more flirtatiously lately, right before and after a bad breakup. Also, side question for Menace. Any tips on dealing with bad breakups besides the usual banging new chicks with? Please keep my anonymity as well. Thanks, E. Okay, so I'll take the first part. You can take the second part. Okay. I have a question about asking our friends. Okay, so here's the thing. I wouldn't worry about it. You guys have been friends for eight years. You're in the same group of friends. In fact, I think this is kind of safe because you already have the history of friendship And I think a lot of people are worried about like ruining the friendship. But the truth is, in your mind, E, you've already gone from like, she's not really your friend, she's someone that you're attracted to on another level. So I don't. I think you got to just try to make the moot. You got to ask her out just one on one away from the group vibe or like, you know, late night, make out something. But you got to just go for it and not worry about the repercussions on the group. Because if you guys really have a strong basis in friendship and, and the whole group's all friends. I mean, Menace makes fun of me, but you know, my ex from eight years ago, we're all still best friends and go on trips together and I slept with it, I dated them and, and someone else dated them and we all hang out and you know, it's just like, I don't know why people, I just think you got to go for it, it's crazy. And she's being flirtatious, right? What's crazy?

No, just how, I don't know how you have relationships with guys and you, you go on trips to Mexico with your current guy, you're dating with your ex boyfriend who's like hosting it. It's crazy. It's insane. It's not the norm.

Exactly.

It's very San Francisco of you. I don't know if it's gonna, if it's gonna transition to la.

Oh my God, who knows? I've only been here a little bit, but we'll see. But. And then side question about. So I say just go for it, E. And for Menace, any tips on dealing with bad breakups besides the usual banging new chicks?

I just say keep yourself busy, you know, you don't have to go out and bang chicks, but just, you know.

I don't know, we always say you have to get under to get over, but you can, you can just practice talking to people, talk to anybody, talk to anybody at the checkout counter. You know, just don't have it, don't have any downtime where you're sitting at home and thinking about what you're doing in your life and why everything went wrong. Just go have fun. No, no sitting around if you don't want to go bang chicks, which is weird to me, but hey, whatever.

No, and I think a lot of people aren't into just like banging chicks right after they break up with someone. I think you just gotta like, yeah, work on yourself, figure out what went Wrong in the relationship. And do. It's true. If you want to start meeting new chicks, just practice talking to chicks. Like Menace said, wherever you go, five times a day, say hello to a cute chick or whatever chick. Just practice talking to women again, making friends, and you'll be fine. And I don't think, you know, sometimes I say, you got to get under to get over, meaning banging new chicks. But I don't think that that's. That's actually the best way it help. It's. It's a band aid. Banging new chicks is a band aid. So I think at the time of the end of the relationship, it's time not to jump into a new relationship and to really work on yourself. Have fun with your friends, grow, learn, change, take on a new hobby, whatever, and talk to every woman you see so you can practice again. Yeah, that's what I say.

Oh, my God. Totally, totally correct. Sorry to interrupt, but have you heard about this teen mom, Farrah yet? She's like the most annoying chick on teen mom, and Dr. Drew talks to her all the time. Did you hear what she did this week recently? Did you happen to find out?

Tell me. I saw something, but I don't remember. Tell me.

So this chick from Teen mom is so obsessed with her looks now, I don't know if I totally believe her story, but she staged a sex tape, right? And denied it, but she, like, got some porn star to be in a sex tape with her, and she's like, oh, I just really wanted to make this tape so when I can look back at it when I'm 50 years old and see how amazing my body used to be. She said it was her for personal use. And then.

Come to find out, she's also. If, you know, if she does want to release it, it's for millions of dollars.

Oh, my God. Do you think she'll get millions of dollars to release it?

I don't think she's that popular to get millions of dollars.

Why does everyone play the sex. The sex tape role? Because the Kim Kardashian really. Did she really start this, like, trend that young girls think they're gonna get famous if they do a sex tape? Like, people really believe that in their heart and soul.

Well, Paris Hilton and Paris Hilton, you're.

Right, was the first.

And Kim Kardashian. But I don't think. I don't think this chick from Team mom would is at a Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian level to me to make her popular, you know? I mean, yeah, she's Been on television, MTV for a couple years. But she's not like a household name.

Right. But Teen mom is a really popular show.

It is a hugely popular show. But I don't really, I don't think she is popular enough. People can't stand her.

Oh really? She doesn't even know that people can't stand. Yeah, whatever.

Do you. Do you buy. Would you have it? I know you're anti sex tape, but would you.

If you could go back and talk to your 20, 20 year old self and say, hey, you just want to have a private tape so you can remember how glorious your body was at 20 years old, would you do it?

I don't think so. No, definitely not. At 20, I don't think I would, no. But I did. I have to tell you that I did do a movie. I was in a movie called I am a sex addict. You can rent it on Netflix and itunes. Download itunes, which is the real is independent film. A few years ago it was probably. No, it was probably not a few years ago now it was probably eight years ago. And the reason why I did it was because my boyfriend at the time said to me, you know, you're gonna want to see yourself on film. Like, how great to have your. I wasn't naked, but he was like, how great to see your. You preserve. Like to see you on film at that certain age and whatever. And that's why I did it, because I thought it would be cool to see myself at this point in time. And there were some scenes that were a little. They weren't nude at all, but you know, my body, whatever. The point is I did do it to preserve so I could like, like, yeah, that's a good idea because at first I thought the script wasn't great, but it's actually a really funny movie, some people say. And I was, I did it for that. But I don't think I'd make a sex tape just to preserve. Maybe I'd do photographs that I would keep to myself or something. But I, I don't. Wouldn't do a sex tape. Never done one. Never sent a sext before with a picture of myself.

I know. And you're sex with Emily. It's weird.

I'm sex with Emily. That's. But that, that would be so obvious if I released a sex tape or sexy photos. People would be like, oh, of course that's who she is. But I'm so much more than that, as you know. Would you menace you've got a bunch of sex tapes you could release.

A ton. A massive catalog. But I'm not famous enough to release them, so why? Why do it?

I don't know. Maybe one day we'll release some Menace. It'll be a good time. I just want to laugh. I want to laugh at. Menace's sexy. Okay, so. And then one more thing I got to say, speaking of. Okay, wait, is that. I just wanted to give a shout out really quickly to. This is really funny. And this is also kind of a segue here, but. So Michael Guilfoyle, I did an interview with him. He's the president of Masque. Your mask, M A S Q U E. And those are those amazing oral sex strips that you put on your tongue, and it transforms the taste of semen. So there's a lot of women, a lot of men who do not get oral sex enough, right? They get. They get married, and they only get on their birthday, or they just. They don't get enough oral sex. So they make these strips that, for at least 20 minutes, masks the taste of semen. So next time you perform oral sex on a guy, he ejaculates. It tastes like mango, chocolate, strawberry, watermelon, whatever flavor you choose. But here's the funny story. So Michael was in Vegas, and we hung out the whole time. It was so fun, like, because everyone. It could just. All these fun people were there. And when he was in his cab driving from the airport, he was telling the cab driver what he did. He's like, I make these oral sex trips. And the cab driver pulled over the cab, got out and hugged him and said he has not received oral sex from his wife in 15 years because she doesn't like the taste of semen. And he gave him, like, a carton of masks. And, like, the cab driver started crying because he was going to get a blowjob now, and he hadn't gotten one in 15 years. So I just thought that was very interesting. So if you want to know about masks, they're giving away free samples. You can go to YourMask.com. that's M A S Q U E. Just had to fill you in with that right there. I thought that was a good story from Vegas. Not my story, but a good story.

Have you figured out.

Can you imagine not having oral sex for 15 years? What?

Oh, yeah. You dumped that chick, like, the first couple weeks. But have you figured out your favorite flavor yet?

You know, my favorite flavor is the mango. I love mangoes. I'm a mango person. And so I have to say I like the mango. You've Tried them. What do you like?

Do you remember? Strawberry? Chocolate is good too.

Chocolate. I believe I tried a chocolate.

And it can also work for men on women when they're performing oral sex. But women are a little touchy about that. So you might want to put the stuff strip in before, you know. That's the thing. It's like some men don't like from oral sex. And so they. But women, I think would be a little more offending because they're already worried that you don't like performing oral sex, that you think that we smell bad or taste bad, which is not typically the case at all. But it works all around. Let's just say that. So.

So chicks are just high maintenance and you should not date them.

What? When they don't perform oral sex on you.

So if they're not down with it and that's something you want, why are you gonna force them to do it? You shouldn't even date them.

Yeah, that's true. But if it's just the semen part or just the taste of the penis part, why would you force them? I don't know. I mean, also, I would say you're right. I mean, I know what you're saying, but if that's just the only barrier, like they don't mind having a penis in their mouth, but they don't like the taste of semen or all that stuff that it could help them. Why not? But I don't want to force the guy. Just like my guy who didn't like oral sex. And I was like, you know, we're done. Because I like a guy who likes to perform oral sex on me, as we know. So speaking of casual sex and sex in general, we're going to get into our topic. It is all about casual sex. And this is brought to you by Max for Men. So Max for Men. If you go to MaxTheNumber4Men.com where you can just click on it from my sex with emily.com website. They make this amazing. And this was kind of a trend at the conference I was just at in Vegas. A lot of pheromone infused products. And Max for Men. Max Attract pheromone cologne for attracting women. They have like all this stuff though, for Max for Men. Just go to their website. Like people were going crazy for their product because they have like an oral sex gel. They have like so many different things for men that are really cool. And if you use coupon code Emily25, you get 25% off anything at Max for Men. And they've got just, like, cool products. They've got a shaving lotion for men. They've got oral sex gel. They've got just got tons of really cool, innovative products. So check them out. So we're gonna move into casual sex because casual sex in Vegas, you see everyone hooking up. Like, you know, I'm at this conference, right? There's like a thousand people there, and everyone knows everyone. Or they've been going for years. I've been only going for three years. But, like, there's definitely, like, the, like, people who hooked up and, like, one night they're with this person. Then there's like, little mini dramas, which I try not to get involved with, and I try not to to hook up with anyone in the industry. But I do want to talk about casual sex because I want to know, do you think casual sex is right for you? So I want to give you some tips and etiquette if you're going to have casual sex. And how to tell if someone you meet is looking for casual hookup or a relationship. So how can you tell the difference? Right?

Yeah.

And a lot of times it starts out like you don't really know. Right. Like, the first time you hook up with someone, you're like, this could be casual or this could be a relationship. We don't know. So if you enjoy having casual sex and find it pleasurable, then you should go for it. As long as you're safe and use protection. If you feel bad after having casual sex, make an effort to get to know someone better before getting intimate with them. So if you've had repeated casual sex and you wake up in the morning, I have a friend like this, and every time she has, like, sex with someone or casual sex, she feels bad about herself. Well, she's not a right candidate for it. But if you're a woman or a guy and you're like, you know what? That was no big deal. I communicated with the person, whatever, and I can have casual sex, then I say, go for it. I think sometimes it can be harder for women because women feel like they shouldn't have casual sex because they don't want to be viewed as sluts, but they actually enjoy having it. And other women feel like they should have casual sex, maybe because they want to feel sexually liberated, but they aren't getting anything out of it. So true sexual liberation, when we're talking about that, is about doing what you want, whether that means having casual sex, having sex in an intimate relationship, or not having sex at all. So casual sex tips first thing is, you know when you first are having casual sex with someone, at the first time you have sex with someone, you might be thinking, you know what, I don't really want to try anything crazy, so I'm just gonna stick to the missionary position. You ever do that, Menace? No, you just have missionary the first time. Most casual sex isn't amazing, and this is especially true for women. I'm gonna be honest, it's usually anti climactic because the fun it was meeting the chase, the anticipation of getting together. And then once the sex happens, it's usually kind of generic for women. It's not typical unless you're like a really highly orgasmic woman, that the first time you're with someone, you're gonna have an orgasm through intercourse. So try out something new. During casual sex, try out different positions. A woman, she can jump on top and a guy can flip them onto the top if they're worried about premature ejaculation. A woman on top is a great person position. So just try changing up positions. Do something different if you want to. If you want to repeat, I would say just don't just stick to the missionary. Do doggy style. Do whatever you want. See how comfortable it's flowing. But try to have a lot of foreplay. Mix in there with some new positions. Right, Menace, of course. Anything else you'd like to add to that? Okay, good.

You're gonna mix, you're gonna mix it up. You want them to come back, don't you?

Totally. You want them to come back for more. And so just don't be like, oh, I don't want to rock this the boat because I don't really know if she's into me or vice versa. I don't know if he's into me. Do you know, just like have some fun casual sex because you know, it could just be the last time with the person or whatever. Okay, Number two, never apologize for your performance. Don't apologize for your penis size, lack of shaving your pubic hair, or if the sex didn't last as long as you wanted it to. This tells the other person that you've low self confidence. If they weren't already regretting sleeping with you, they're definitely regretting it. Now I have to cut to the most hilarious story I ever heard and tell me, Menace, what you think of this. If this not hilarious, because I'm not sure how I would feel if a guy did this to me. But I met this guy the other night. This has to do with not shaving pubes So I thought this was relevant. Okay, so I met this other guy the other night. And of course, because I have sex with Emily show, people always want to talk to me about their stories. He's like, oh, my God. He's like, I was hooking up with this woman in New York. I was at a party. I met this woman. She was super hot. I brought her up to my hotel room after hanging out with her all night. We're getting naked, and all of a sudden, she's got this huge, huge bush. Huge. And he's like, you know what? He's like, not my thing. Now. I'm not saying anything's wrong with the bush. I'm not judging, because some guys are totally into it. He picks up the phone, he calls the concierge front desk and says, can you please send me some shaving cream and a razor? And hangs up.

Yeah.

The woman looks at him and she's like, fuck. She's like, f you. Like, what are you doing? And then he's like, no, no, babe, I just. I just can't handle it. It's not my thing. So there's a knock on the door, comes with, you know, the razor and the thing, and he, like, picks her up, throws her on the kitchen, on the sink in the bathroom, and he, like, shaves her down with warm water and, like, shaves her entire bush off. And then they ended up having amazing sex. Wow. So see? Wow. Right?

Always. Women always try to bring it back. Guys are not into it, man. I mean, of course we're gonna have, like, 15 emails from guys saying, oh, dude, I'm down with it. I like it. But I'm talking about the majority of men. There's just not into it. And it seems like in the past, I would say two years or so, there's been, like, a revolution from some women where they want to bring it back. No one wants it. Don't keep on trying to bring it back.

I don't think that's true, though, Menace. Some men don't mind it. I'm just saying some men do.

I'm talking. I'm talking about the majority.

I'm not saying majority of men.

Yeah. I'm not saying every single man out there, okay? I don't speak for all the men when I make comments. I'm talking about the majority, okay? People don't freak out.

You.

You are still gonna get laid. Even though if you have Wolverine down there or Teen Wolf, it doesn't matter, you know, it's not gonna hinder you.

The interesting Thing for this guy was that he was just like, it was just surprising. She was like, you know, whatever. But I think some women don't shave and that's fine. But I'm just saying this was a really funny story. I'm not saying you should do whatever, but most people these days, including men and women, seem to trim or manscape or scape somehow. Isn't that funny though? Menace? I'm so glad I remembered that story because, you know, remember stories.

I don't know if you read my story over this past weekend. So I was in. I was in Burbank at Universal Studios, Universal City Walk, and I was there for an event that my friends were throwing and I put this update on Facebook and Twitter that it just exploded. People were laughing so hard.

What is it? What was it about?

So my friends had this event. Of course it's open bar and of course, you know, I take advantage. And then so we're just like partying till late, late in the night. And I was like partying with them in the hotel room probably till like 4 or 5 in the morning. I wake up the next day back at my hotel, which happens to have 24 hour room service. I wake up completely naked and I look over on the table, which is like. The table in my hotel room is like really deep into the room. So from the front door to the hotel to the, to the table in the hotel is a pretty long walk. And it has all this room service on the table and not one of it, one piece of it has been eaten. It is like perfectly preserved.

Right.

So I am pretty much convinced that I must have answered the door completely naked and let room service into the room for them to sit down. The room service on the table.

Dude, what were you. What were you. What were you blacked out?

Yeah, well, I was just drinking. I was really tired and I. I woke up in the bed completely naked and room service was there in my room. So I had to have answered the door naked.

I think that's illegal. Like, what if it was some young chick working at the hotel and you were naked with a penis sticking out? Oh my God.

I don't know. I didn't get any. I didn't get any complaints.

So you got no complaints, man, she kept saying, when's that guy ordering room service again? I'm sure it's hotels, you see everything. That is friggin hilarious.

Yeah. So if you want updates like that, follow me on Twitter. I'm menace on Twitter. Or Instagram. Just menace. One word. I make it Easy for you people.

You make it easy. Menace. Yeah. What's your new blog site? Don't even do blog.

I have a new site. It's like a new sharing site. It's called Post. It's P O S S S T. I know, I'll try to shorten it one day. But Post, you can check that out. And yeah, it's like news. There's not really sex stuff on there. I mean, there's celebrity news and things like that, but if you want.

It's not all about sex.

If you want the sex, you have to go to Sex with Emily.

Sex with emily.com sex with emily.com youm got to check us out. And you know what's really cool about being at the backing up to the festival? I was at the international lingerie festival in Vegas. Is that. Or the international lingerie show, whatever. Is that a lot of people know sex only. It's been nine years. Like, everyone's like, oh my God, come check out our products. And they let you know. It just. It just feels really good to be a voice, to really have made an impact in industry and to help and educate people about what the right toys are to use or the right products or how to better sex all around. Not that just about toys because that's. I was at the toy convention. But it's just, you know, menace. Like we've made our mark in the world and it feels really good. It's.

It's amazing how many people actually listen to the show, you know, because you and I just record the podcast and we don't really think people listen to it. And then you just run into so many people that I. What? I was at some meeting the other day. I won't talk where, but it was like this really multi million dollar business. And the head guy there knew about sex with Emily. It was crazy.

How did he really. That's crazy. No. Does he listen to it? That's cool. It happens everywhere. Yeah. I mean, some guy came up to me in the airport when I landed and he showed me his phone and he's like, look what I'm listening to. And he wasn't even like hitting on me. And he was listening to Sex with Emily through Stitcher on his phone.

That's awesome.

I know. I was like, oh my God, that's so funny. It was kind of weird, but Stitcher is a great app that you can download for your smartphone and listen to any podcast you want to.

Yeah. And it's totally, totally free.

Totally free. It's a great Way to access sex with Emily when you're on the road or on your phone, which you probably are most of the time. Okay, next, casual sex Tip. If you have a great time with the person and you want to see them again, ask them to breakfast or at least get their phone number. Some relationships actually begin with casual sex. So women often expect the guy to act distant after sex. But if you like her, cuddle and ask her out for breakfast or even make her breakfast, same goes for women. Otherwise you're kicking them out, you're hoping they leave and skank away at 6am Right? But if you are into them, you might want to ask for the number. But don't ask for their number if you're not going to call because that's the worst. Women are always like, why the hell did he ask for my number and not call? Just don't do it.

But I think guys feel like they have to call, right?

Messes. Yeah, messes with your mind.

You guys get obsessed with it.

I know. Okay, be safe. Always wear a condom. Even if she's on birth control. Because let me tell you something, Some women say they're on birth control but they forgot their pill three times that month. I mean, you don't know what's happening. So guys use condoms, please. Okay, tell the person what you want. You don't know what the person likes or what their turn ons are. You might only have one night with them. So make it count by asking what they like and you and telling them what you like. So if you know, I mean, I think that the first time you're with someone you should be like, does that feel good? Does that pay attention? This is like men and women sometimes just don't pay attention because we're all so worried about our own performance. And this is true in life we're always thinking, God, what's this person thinking about me? When really all anyone's really obsessed with is themselves and how they're performing. And this moves into the bedroom. So I don't think there's anything wrong with saying like, does this feel good? How do you like it? And just communicating even early on. Because why not get what you want? Just because it's casual sex doesn't mean it has to be bad sex. So you know, people often ask the questions, you know, if you're having casual sex, do you spend the night? Do you give the person oral sex? Do you cuddle? It all depends on the situation. Be careful and enjoy. So here's how to tell if someone is looking for A one night stand of friends with benefits or a relationship. Okay, this is a one night stand if they single you out. So, Tom Menace, you're a dude who's probably had a one night stand or two or three, and I've had some in my history. So they will approach you with a friendly attitude and initiate small talk. At the end of the night, he may tell you he's just looking for something casual and will ask what you're looking for. This is a very respectable way to approach a one night stand. However, a lot of guys might not do this. They'll act super into you until after sex when they will act distant. So just pay attention to when they single you out and all that. This happened to my friend in Vegas. She's a super hot chick. We were sitting there the first night and some guy came up to her and he was like, you're so beautiful, I'm so into you. Let's meet up in an hour. They met up in an hour. They had crazy sex all night. He's like, let's go out tomorrow night. And then you can guess what happened. The next night came along, it was five o', clock, she hadn't heard from him. She text him and he said, I don't feel well. And then she came to find. Then she came to find out through a mutual friend that he was on the strip partying with some other chicks.

So I'm just saying, you know, it's one night stands, all that stuff, it's pretty tricky. So pay attention if that's not what you want. And she was bummed and she knew, she's not stupid, she's in Vegas, it's a guy she met and whatever and he lives in Indiana and she lives in California. And it's all good, but I'm just saying it still hurts a little. So just know what you're getting into. So another way you can tell. Daughter's end. If he compliments you a lot, he will tell you how interesting you are to talk to, how much prettier you are than all the other women in the room and make you feel like you're the only one he's interested in. I don't know if this just stands for one night stand, but this is just something to look out for. Body language. He will try to touch you in some way, maybe on your back. He might do this to gauge your comfort level before he approaches with more sensual touching. He acts sensitive towards your needs. He wants to appear someone that you've known for a considerable amount of Time and not just a new friend. This is to get you comfortable with him, to make the idea of a one night stand seem more feasible. He may talk or brag about himself in a way that appears as someone that would be right for you. And finally, they won't ask for your number. They're looking to seal the deal tonight. Of course, there's always exceptions to the rules. Sometimes what seems like a one night stand can turn into a relationship. But those are some tips to look for in a one night stand. Have you had one night stands, Menace?

Yeah, but I didn't, I wasn't like out on the hunt to have one. It just happens, you know, some people just every time they go out, that's their, their goal. I don't know, I just really, my goal is to just go out and have fun.

That's really some people's goal.

Yeah, of course. What are you talking about? Have you ever watched Jersey Shore?

Yeah, I know, in Vegas and the whole thing and everything. I just never had that intention because I never really, I mean, I'm sure I've done it historically, but not a lot because I just think it's hard. You're like, why did I do that? And the sex is never that good for the woman. As I started this whole conversation saying that one night stands, it's usually the anticipation, the buildup of having attraction to someone new. But the actual intercourse, which is why I'm trying to help you, is not usually good the first night. Okay. The next thing is Friends with Benefits. This falls under the casual sex umbrella. And there was like a period during the Sex with Emily show where we got like hundreds of emails. I think it was like two years ago on Friends with Benefit situation. It was like something in the ether. Everyone was like, wanted to know about them. So as the term implies, it's probably an acquaintance or a friend. But if you start hooking up with a friend and they call you at 11pm on Friday and never invite you to hang out with their friends, it's probably a booty call slash friends with benefits situation. If you want to be in a relationship with this person, get out. Because this kind of relationship will not satisfy you. The only kind of friends with benefits relationships at work are when you, you both are cool with it just being casual. Like, we're friends, we hook up sometimes, but I'm still banging other chicks or you're still banging other dudes and we're totally okay with it. But typically these situations go awry when one person wants more than the other. Person. Right. We've seen that happen. Okay, so signs they're looking for a relationship might be that he's truly attentive to you. They ask questions, they listen to your answers, they're amused by your answers and can relate to them. He wants to see you all the time. They want to see you one to two minimum times a week. They will call to say hi or tell you something funny. Not just to make plans. They want to meet your friends and introduce you to your friends. They plan ahead and they're willing to wait to have sex or might delay having sex. So there's always exceptions to the rules, but that's how we're breaking down casual sex and relationship. So hope you learned something about the situation. And just remember you got to take care of yourself and just think about it. Like how has it made you feel in the past if you had casual sex and just pay attention to people's intentions and be careful and use a condom. Use two condoms. I'm just kidding. You don't use two condoms, but use. No, they break and they don't break. Some do break, but use good condoms. We should do a condom review show. I think we're going to do that soon. Sweet. But I want everyone to check out. You got to check out my website. It changes every day. I need your email address because I want to send you my new report. I've got lots of new products coming out. Please check out my iPhone app, Kegel Camp. It will improve your sex life and you will have better sex. It's for men and for women. I also have an iPhone app called Sex Drive and my book hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. That's what we got for you today. Anything else menace in your life?

Oh, last week, if you like tech, tech stuff, I was on this TV show that's recorded of revision three. It's called Tech Feed. If you search on YouTube, type in tech feed and then click on downloaded. Friday, I was on the show that Bob Suicide hosted from the Suicide Girls and we talked about tech stuff and if you like it, please comment on there and say that I'm gonna go comment on it.

Oh, that's cool. Menace. That's awesome. I love.

Was a dream. It was a dream of mine to be on Revision three.

So I. Oh, you love Revision three. They're awesome.

Yeah, they're amazing. So I went on there.

Okay, that's cool. You're the man about town and I. I wish I could go to Coachella this weekend and see you, but I Might go next weekend, but I'll let you know. I also want to say that I'm on Loveline again Thursday nights. Not this, not tonight, not whatever. It doesn't matter because you don't even know when you're listening to this. But most Thursday nights I will be on. You can listen to it and watch it@lovelineshow.com and you can also check your local listings for what radio station it's on because it's not in like 50 cities or something.

It's on the radio station that I'm on in San Francisco. So.

105.3. Yep, yep.

Listen, 10pm Monday through Thursday and then what? No, Sunday through Thursday.

Sunday through Thursday. But I'm here on Thursday nights.

Yeah, the special night.

And I just want to thank everyone again. If you've been looking for to buy any product, sex toys, go to goodvibes.com click on go to go. Go to it through my page because if you go to sex living.com youm'll get all. You can see all my favorite toys. And I'm gonna be changing that because I've got so many new favorites. But no, there. There's like it's already been updated. Whatever. Go there and see. I get a lot of questions about the best sex toys. I'm gonna be writing some more email some more blog posts about it so you can kind of make your way because there are so many goddamn sex toys out there. I'm staring at all my new ones right now. Maybe I should masturbate for the rest of the day.

Do it.

I mean, I just got back from Vegas. I'm tired. We'll see what happens. But okay, everyone. Thanks, man. It's so good to talk to you.

You too. I'll see you soon.

I miss you. Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies that's keeping our show free for our listeners. Max for men. That's Max. The number four Men is a product line all about maximizing male pleasure performance and attraction. So basically everything men want but can't figure out how to get. One of their most popular products is the Max Arousal Pleasure Gel. It has ingredients known to arouse the penis and increase male libido, maximizing your pleasure during sex or masturbation. If you want to get the Max Arousal Pleasure Gel or any of their other amazing products, go to maxformen.com that's the number four. And use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off anything at Max for Men that's coupon code EMILY25 for 25 percent off anything@maxformen.com or you can visit sexwithemily.com and get all the info you need there. For better sex.

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